2008 Summer Newsletter - Children's Grief Center of El Paso
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A Newsletter for Friends of the Children’s Grief Center of El Paso • SUMMER 2008 Non-Profit Organization U.S. Postage PAID El Paso, TX Permit #458 Have you ever wondered what “Hope” looks like? Or what it feels like? Is the taste sweet or can we see or touch it? I’ve given a great deal of thought to the concept and how it applies to grieving children, teens and their families. At the Children’s Grief Center, children and teens generally arrive with no hope for the future. Perhaps a parent, sibling or grandparent has suddenly been killed in a tragic accident or died from a long sustaining illness. Perhaps the child was not told for days about the death and feels that the rug has been pulled out from under them. The taste is often bitter as they ask, “why my dad?” You’ve seen the posture; hunched over, head down and listless; or angry like they want to punch something or someone. Their face is sad and eyes and mouth are droopy. For all practical purposes, their lives as they knew it have ended. What hope could there possibly be for them following their devastating loss? I remember the day that 6 year old John entered our office following the death of his dad. It was summertime. He was anxious and fidgety and full of “I don’t want to talk about it.” It was difficult for him to sit still as his nervous energy spilled over. He would listen to other children but found it difficult to say out loud that his own dad had died… as though saying it out loud would make it real. His mom, Karen, had explained that John’s dad had suddenly died and they had moved back to El Paso to be closer to grandparents. John had blocked out most memories of his dad and appeared angry when asked what he could remember. “Nothing,” was his response. As the weeks passed, John began to participate more in the activities and engaged with the other children in his group. He now remembers more of the little things that he could not remember, such as playing with his dad. I find hope to be a deeply spiritual experience as I feel that we are never alone on this journey. On a particularly good night as we conduct “wrap up” following the night’s session, I feel in my heart that we have had some help from above as the children have eye opening experiences of “I can do this and I will be okay.” We’re here as their guides, as our families do the difficult grief work that promotes healthy healing. As time has progressed, John and his mom Karen are now able to help strengthen new families that are entering our program. Their experience has now become a cycle of hope. Laura Olague M.Ed., CT The Face of Hope 11625 Pellicano, Ste. B El Paso, Texas 79936 915-532-6004 www.cgcelpaso.org If your mailing information is incorrect or we sent you multiple copies, please call us at (915) 532-6004 and we’ll correct it. ADDRESS SERVICE REQUESTED
Transcript of 2008 Summer Newsletter - Children's Grief Center of El Paso
A Newsletter for Friends of the Children’s Grief Center of El Paso • SUMMER 2008
Non-Profit
Organization
U.S. Postage
PAID
El Paso, TX
Permit #458
Have you ever wondered what “Hope” looks like?
Or what it feels like? Is the
taste sweet or can we see or
touch it? I’ve given a great
deal of thought to the concept
and how it applies to grieving
children, teens and their
families. At the Children’s
Grief Center, children and
teens generally arrive with no
hope for the future. Perhaps a
parent, sibling or grandparent
has suddenly been killed in a
tragic accident or died from a
long sustaining illness. Perhaps
the child was not told for days
about the death and feels that
the rug has been pulled out
from under them. The taste is
often bitter as they ask, “why
my dad?” You’ve seen the
posture; hunched over, head
down and listless; or angry like
they want to punch something
or someone. Their face is sad
and eyes and mouth are droopy.
For all practical purposes, their
lives as they knew it have
ended. What hope could there
possibly be for them following
their devastating loss?
I remember the day that 6 year
old John entered our office
following the death of his dad.
It was summertime. He was
anxious and fidgety and full of
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
It was difficult for him to sit still
as his nervous energy spilled
over. He would listen to other
children but found
it difficult
to say out
loud that
h i s
own dad had died… as though
saying it out loud would make
it real. His mom, Karen, had
explained that John’s dad had
suddenly died and they had
moved back to El Paso to be
closer to grandparents. John
had blocked out most memories
of his dad and appeared angry
when asked what he could
remember. “Nothing,” was his
response. As the weeks passed,
John began to participate more
in the activities and engaged
with the other children in his
group. He now remembers
more of the little things that he
could not remember, such as
playing with his dad.
I find hope to be a deeply
spiritual experience as I feel
that we are never alone on this
journey. On a particularly good
night as we conduct “wrap up”
following the night’s session,
I feel in my heart
that we have
had some help
from above
as the
children have eye opening
experiences of “I can do this
and I will be okay.” We’re here
as their guides, as our families
do the difficult grief work that
promotes healthy healing. As
time has progressed, John and
his mom Karen are now able to
help strengthen new families
that are entering our program.
Their experience has now
become a cycle of hope.
Laura Olague M.Ed., CT
The Face of Hope
Please remember the Children’s Grief Center in your bequest
11625 Pellicano, Ste. B El Paso, Texas 79936
915-532-6004
www.cgcelpaso.orgIf your mailing information is incorrect or we sent you
multiple copies, please call us at (915) 532-6004 and we’ll
correct it.
ADDRESS SERVICE REQUESTED
Contrary to popular belief, many
individuals in my field believe that
working with grieving children and teens
can be challenging. However, working
with children and teens here at the
Children’s Grief Center has thus far been
a very enriching learning experience. The best
policy in working with grieving children and teens has always
been honesty, unconditional love, and empathy.
A 16 year old girl reluctantly came to the Children’s Grief Center
recently. Upon our first meeting, her reluctance to come to the
Center was reflected in her words as she stated she was not very
fond of counselors. Her sentiments were a clear reflection of her
painful apprehension to address her grief.
Her aunt, whom she considered like a mother, had recently lost
her battle to cancer. My only words to her were simply, “I can’t
imagine what it must be like to lose someone who meant so
much to you.” She stopped and looked at me then tears welled
up in her eyes. She sobbed and then shared how unfair life can
be and voiced her concern as to who would take care of her now.
The tears then flowed from her eyes, and she softly stated, “it’s
the hardest thing I have ever had to go through.” She regained
her strength and told me her story. She stated that her aunt had
raised her since she was a child because her own mom had been
killed in an automobile accident when she was an infant. She
then shared many wonderful memories of her aunt. Thanking her
for expressing her very personal feelings, which can often times
can be difficult for teenagers to do, I commended her for sharing
such intimate details of her grief. She learned and acknowledged
that sharing her feelings had made her feel much better. With
this in mind, she eagerly attended our peer support groups where
she had the opportunity to meet other grieving teens, discuss her
feelings, and little by little learn to come to terms with her loss.
You see, the experience of supporting children and
teens as they grieve is not challenging at all. On the
contrary, with the right support and guidance, helping
children and teens cope with the death of a loved one
can be a very enriching experience. For when we give
from the heart, we truly give of ourselves and help our
grieving youngsters carry on with their lives.
From the Executive Director
What does a nonprofit organization that relies on
community support do when times are tough and
normal citizens are struggling just to fill their
gas tanks to get to work and put groceries on
the table, much less contribute to their favorite
charity? We tighten our belts,just like you. Yes, I
am talking about the elephant in the living room
called the economy that is affecting us all. As a
charity, we are typically last on the food chain
when it comes to what to do with our money as
we strive to meet current living expenses. A
tough economy doesn’t mean for example, that
less children experience grief or that their pain
is lessened. Unfortunately, even in tough times,
death still occurs and we are here as the need
remains a constant. We are able to impact lives
with your support and appreciate your gifts,
especially in a tough economy. Thank you.
Empathy, Honesty and Unconditional LoveBy Vivian J. Corral, Program Director O P E R A T I O N
Mend•A•HeartMend•A•Heart
On November 3rd, 2007, the Children’s Grief Center held a
special event for military children, teens and their families
who had experienced the death of a loved one from Operation
Enduring Freedom, Iraqi Freedom or other causes of death. The
effort was supported by the Triad Fund of the Permian Basin Area
Foundation. Community partners such as Casa Ford, Domino’s
Pizza, McDonald’s Restaurant on Dyer, the BOSS organization for
young soldiers and community volunteers worked to make this
effort a success.
The grief experience is a difficult one at best. When you are in the
military, your grief becomes even more complicated as you may
feel removed from the military community following the loss and
without family support if you are in an unfamiliar environment.
Although we hope that families receive the bereavement support
they need, that isn’t always the case for a variety of reasons;
they might no longer be a part of the military community once
their loved one has died; they might not be familiar with the
community and its services; or they may be afraid to reach out to
strangers. It is particularly frustrating when military families see
their children adversely affected by a death and don’t know where
to turn. Operation Mend-A-Heart was a community effort to help
begin the healing process for those families that often feel isolated
following the loss of a soldier. It continues to be our intent to assist
grieving children and families that are or were affiliated with the
military community. We will hold our 1 day bereavement camp
for military families again on November 8th, 2008. If you know
someone who either was or is in the military and has children
that are grieving the death of a loved one, please let them know
about our ongoing
grief support services
at the Children’s
Grief Center.
This event was made possible by:
Triad Fund of the Permian Basin Area Foundation
And our community partners:
Casa Ford
Western Refining
Horizon City Kiwanis
Bank of America
Boss Program of young military soldiers
Boy Scout Troop 53
Susan Armstrong – Photographer
Frank Hughes – WebShipStudio
National Recruiting Center
Boy Scout Troop #53
Albertsons NE.
Wal-Mart NE.
Wal-Mart East
Domino’s Pizza at Doniphan
Sam’s Club East
WebShipStudio
Volunters:
David Calderon
Ricky Rubio
Lonnie Corral
Sylvia Rojas
Billie Funk
Michael Perez
Cecilia Siller
Dixie Hu
Dionne Dukes
Nancy Torres
Lorena Soto
Mary Alvarez
Dede Farmer
Susan Armstrong
Celia Burton
Chayo Carrasco, Staff
Vivian Corral, Staff
Laura Olague, Staff
Operation Mend-A-Heart
O P E R A T I O N
Mend•A•HeartMend•A•Heart
Board of DirectorsAnthony Turrietta, President
Scott Thrasher, Vice President
David Alvarez, Treasurer
Wayne Soza, Secretary
Lizeth Herrera
Robert (Bob) Mihalyov
Laura E. Olague, M.Ed, CT Executive Director
CofounderCertified in Thanatology
(Dying, Death & Bereavement)
Thank you to our outgoing board members:
David Dominguez
Deidre (Dede) Farmer
Kim Prieto
We appreciate your service to the community.
Our Staff
Laura E. Olague, M.Ed., CT
Vivian Corral, LMSW
Chayo Carrasco, Administrative Assistant
After being in the Centre Building downtown for over 10 years, the Children’s Grief Center has moved. We are now on the eastside of El Paso at 11625 Pellicano, Ste. B, almost on the corner of George Dieter and Pellicano.
We feel good about being part of the neighborhood community and invite you to stop by and say “hello.” We continue to provide the same quality grief support services.
We’ve Moved
Thank youEl Paso Electric Company
How do you thank a company who has provided inkind
donated office space for over 10 years? The best way I can
think of is to say “thank you,” again and again for your
support throughout the years. When we first moved into
the Centre Building, downtown, we thought that we would
be there a short time. It was a good match and we were
their guests for several years. The employees also played a
large role as they volunteered their time and gave of their
treasures. Who says “big companies don’t care about the
community?” A million thanks to a company who does.
Spotlight on our VolunteersMeet Elena Saucedo,
a Children’s Grief Center volunteer who will celebrate her 10th anniversary with us this coming September as a support group facilitator. Elena
came to us as an El Paso Electric Company volunteer when we initially moved into the Centre Bldg ten years ago. She has given endless hours to strengthening grieving children’s lives. In addition, she helps train
volunteers, helps with fundraisers and fills in wherever she is needed. She has a huge heart and has made a difference in many lives here at the Center. We extend a heartfelt “Thank You” to Elena for everything she does.
Panalists from L-R: Stacey Orloff, Ed D, Kenneth J. Doka, PhD, M.Div., Laura E. Olague, M.Ed, CT, and Rita Milburn-Dodson, MA, RNC, FT. Not show are William Worden, Ph D, ADPP. And Nancy Hogan, PhD, RN, FAAN.
The Executive Director
of the Children’s Grief
Center, Laura Olague, was
invited to participate on
a professional panel for
the Hospice Foundation of
America’s 2008 National
Teleconference: Living
With Grief: Children and
Adolescents. The broadcast
was shown live via satellite
from Washington, D.C.
on April 16th, 2008 across
the country targeting an
array of professionals. The
program focused on the
most current theories and
practices combined with
research and hands-on
ideas for practical use. One
of the teens that attended
the Children’s Grief Center’s
program, Sam Jensen, was
selected to include his essay
on his personal experience
in the accompanying book.
The broadcast was seen
by 150,000 persons and
was shown locally by the
Children’s Grief Center to
professionals wanting to
learn more about assisting
grieving children. Vivian
Corral, our Program
Director, led a local
panel of professionals
on a discussion of our
issues pertaining to
grieving children in
our community.
We could not do this important work without the help of community volunteers. We recognize these volunteer facilitators for their service for 2007-2008:
Sharon Batiste
Dionne Dukes Billstone
Mara Cohn
Dixie Hu
Idalhi Huizar
Edgar Monarez
Olivia Narvaez
Leticia Orueta
Michael Perez
Elena Saucedo
Cecilia Siller
Lizeth Herrera
Victoria Silex-Martinez
John Skokowski
Susana Villela
National Hospice Foundation Panel
The Children’s Grief Center held its annual fundraiser event “Along the Butterfield Trail” at the Butterfield Trail Golf Club, on April 3, 2008. Thank you to these event sponsors:
El Paso Electric Company
Casa Ford
Price’s Creameries
Western Refining
Casa Ford
Along the Butterfield Trail
Generously sponsored by El Paso Electric Company & Price’s Creameries
Date: Thursday, April 3, 2008Time: Cocktails at 6:00 p.m., dinner served at 7:00 p.m.Place: The Butterfield Trail Golf Club Price: $100 per ticket or a table of 10 for $1,000
Music by the exciting show band
Joaquin Aguilar
MargieAl-Hanfoosh
David & Debbie Alvarez
Rudy & Sylvia Alvarez
Arturo Anaya
Dr. Bruce & Kirsten Applebaum
Arthur & Gloria August
Cindee Soza & Rita Baca
Dorothy Baca
Rabbi Lawrence Bach
Dorothy Ball
Terry & Zulema Bassham
Irene & Ira Batt
Teresa Beltran
Dr. Wiliam Boushka
Margy Brown
Steve & Maria Busser
Bradley & Leticia Byers
Veronica Caballero
David & Rebecca Calderon
R. S. Calles
Tony Camarena
Daniel Canales
Gilbert & Chayo Carrasco
Maria Carrasco
Sergio Carrasco
Antonio & Jean Castillo
Jose & Silvia Castillo
Emma Chavez
Deborah Cohen/Rhoda Jaffee
Lawrence & Mara Cohn
Don & Patsy Combs
Elvira Contreras
Lonnie & Vivian Corral
Christine & Kenneth Cramer
Jim & Trese Cunningham
Yara & Guillermo Diaz
David Dominguez
Tina Donofrio
Robert Earp
Dr. Augstine O. Eleje
Ruth Erlich
Romie Escarcega
Pedro P. Euzarraga, Jr.
Deidre Farmer
Henry Felix
Paul Foster
Elizabeth Frisbey
Janet Furtney
Francis Marie Gaddy
Juan Hector Gil, PC
Arthur Gorman
Claudia & Norvel Green
Rebecca Guillen
Laura M. Hallal
Don Henderson
Tania & Gali Hermosillo
Daniel Hernandez
Simon Hernandez
Lizeth Herrera
Cindy Peak Hoffmann
Joyce Jaynes
M. Kirk & Sydney Jelinek
Susie Jensen
Marylee Warwick Jurecky
Margaret Justus
Andrea Keener
Michael Keener
Chelsea Kidd
Billy Kilgore
Fernando & Rita Lechuga
Sunny D. Leung
Maureen C. Laage
Francis & Josephine Leroux
Clay Lowenfield
Ricardo Lopez
Raquel Loweree
Dr. Lyndon Mansfield
Cristina Marquez
Aaron Martinez
Hon. Phillip & Mayela Martinez
Robert & Vicki Mihalyov
Daniel & Irma Miles
Ann Mitchell
Carmen & Asuncion Molina
Maria Morales
Margaret & Martin Mordecai
Arturo Pacheco & Susana Navarro
Randy Nichols
Gilbert & Laura Olague
John Olivas
Jerry & Joanne Osburn
Sherri Patrick
James M. Peak
Salvador Perales
David & Teresa Perez
Michael Perez
Gregory & Lucy Pfirman
Susan Kidwell Pine
Tommy Poe
Mark & Sonia Pries
Kim & Lester Prieto
Margaret & Thomas Pugh
Siria Purcell
Mr. & Mrs. C. Ramenofsky
Paul Raudenbush
Mr. & Mrs. Dale Reinhardt
Beverly & Morris Reiter
Pedro & Emma Reyes
Stella Richards
Ret. LTC. Joyce Richardson
Dr. Galo & Irma Rodarte
Claire & Donald Romani
Elena Saucedo
Anabel Sanchez
Jerry Sanchez
Karen Saunders
Doug & VJ. Smith
Wayne & Martha Soza
Kenneth Spence
Johnnie Spicer
Mr. & Mrs. William Spier
Terry & Sandra Squier
Stanley & Mary Stack
Raquel Tayag
Beverly Thrasher
Scott Thrasher
Walter Tippins, DDS
Alicia Torres
Anthony & Magda Turrietta
Neva Uphoff
2007-2008 Donors
Our Mission…Our goal is to
strengthen the lives of grieving children
and families by providing support and life affirming skills in a safe and loving environment.
We value the conscious choice
that families make in committing to the
difficult work of grief and support
them through their efforts.
Mary Vasquez
Maria Vega
Rocio & Carlos Viesca
Joel & Elizabeth Villademoros
Susana Villela
Bobby Walker
Marissa Wayden
Loy Wells
Jack White
Christy Wilke
Marie Wilbanks
Phoebe Villarreal
Bruce & Margie Yetter
ChurchesHighland Presbyterian Church
Holy Trinity Catholic Church
St. Francis on the Hill Episcopal Church
In Memory ofCindy Armendariz by David and Becky Calderon
Joshua Armendariz by Nolan Richardson Charity Golf Tournament
Luis Hermosillo by Tania M. Hermosillo
Zew Kimmelman by Enoch/Ivette Kimmelman
Niko Perry by Rebecca Tarango
Robert Rojas by Sandra & Dale Reinhart
Cathi Romani by Don & Claire Romani
Larissa Valdez by James and Crystal Long
Ellen White by Dorothy Ball
In Honor ofMs. Maureen Askew by Maura Cauldwell
Robert Murillo by Spectrum Marketing
OrganizationsAm. Legional Aux. Paso del Norte, Unit 58
Ft. Bliss Officer, Civilian and Spouse Association
Horizon City Kiwanis
Jr. Women’s Club
Mt. Franklin Kiwanis
BusinessesAlamo Industries
Bank of America
Channel 38
Chase Bank
Clark, Thomas and Winter
Conde Incorporated
Duck Duck Goose
El Paso Electric Company
Enviro IDEA
Helen of Troy
Hillcrest Funeral Homes
Hoy-Fox Automotive Mart
Hunt Family Foundation
Investor Publications, Inc.
Petro Stopping Centers
Price’s Creameries
Regent Broadcasting
Rogers & Belding
Ryan and Company
Stein Mart
Wells Fargo Bank
Western Refining
FoundationsBank of America Foundation
Zane Bennett Family Foundation
Cummins Foundation
Price’s Creameries
Cesle C. & Mamie F. Dues Charitable Foundation
El Paso Community Foundation
Feinberg Foundation
The Hervey Foundation
Hunt Family Foundation
ITW Matching Foundation
Ronald McDonald Charities of El Paso
Robert E. and Evelyn McKee Foundation
M. B. Krupp Foundation
Merrill Lynch Foundation
Rio Grande Cancer Foundation
Stern Foundation
TRIAD Fund/Permian Basin Area Foundation
In Kind Donations-BusinessesAll Mother Nature’s Flowers
Alltel Communications
Andre’s Pizza
Azar Nut Shop
Baldwin Barber Shop
Bank of America
Bare Escentials-Mesa St.
Blossom Flower Shop
Bob’s Family Fun Center
Butterfield Trail Golf Club
Caboots.com
Café Central
Cappetto’s
Carnitas Queretaro
Cattle Baron
Chambers Steakhouse
Chico’s
Chocolat
Cinemark Theatres
Clear Channel Outdoor
“Celebrations” Singing Group
Coach Z’s Baseball Academy
Dosher Refrigeration
El Paso Diablos
El Paso Electric Company
El Paso Imports
Evolutions Hair Salon
Floral & Balloon Design
Gidjums Coffee Shop
Griggs Restaurant
Hortencia’s Beauty Shop
Inn of the Mountain Gods Resort
Jerusalem Restaurant
Leo’s Restaurant
Lucy’s Coffee Shop
Milan Hair Salon & Spa
Nothing But Noodles
Origins
P. F. Chang’s
Passage Supply
Peter Piper Properties
Popular Mattress
Please remember the Children’s Grief Center in your bequest
Price’s Creameries
Premiere Car Wash
Red Lobster
Salon Selah
Southwest Airlines
Spira Shoes
Sports World
Stahmann’s Farms
Strickler & Prieto, LLP
Tennis West
Tony Lama Boots
U. S. Probation Office
UTEP Athletic Club
In-Kind Donations-IndividualsDebbie Alvarez
Arturo Anaya
Cleveland Atkinson
Dorothy Ball
Tony Camarena
Mara Cohn
Gilbert Carrasco
Charlie Edgren
Lita Gonzalez
Rebecca Guillen
Andrea Keener
Gail Munoz
Laura Olague
Cynthia Olivas
Annette Otero
Stella Richards
Elena Saucedo
Scott Thrasher
Neva Uphoff
Mary Vasquez
Jan Whitebear Ventura
Phoebe Villarreal
Operation Mend-A-Heart Made Possible by:TRIAD Fund of the Permian Basin Area Foundation
Community PartnersAlbertson’s (NE)
Susan Armstrong–Photographer
Bank of America
BOSS Program of Young Military Soldiers
Boy Scout Troop #53
Casa Ford
Domino’s Pizza @ Doniphan
Frank Hughes–WebShipStudio
Don Henderson Insurance
Horizon City Kiwanis
National Guard Recruiting Station
Sam’s Club East
Wal-Mart East
Wal-Mart NE
Western Refining
VolunteersMary Alvarez
Susan Armstrong
Dionne D. Billstone
Celia Burton
Lonnie Corral
David Calderon
Dr. Don Combs
Dede Farmer
Billy Funk
Dixie Hu
Michael Perez
Sylvia Rojas
Ricky Rubio
Cecilia Siller
Lorena Soto
Nancy Torres
CGC StaffLaura Olague, Exec. Director
Vivian Corral, Program Director
Chayo Carrasco, Adminstrative Asst.
Please remember the Children’s Grief Center in your bequest
