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    Something else happened in the fall of 1909. Pastor Frank Jalegas came to

    Langdon.

    Like an unexpected prairie fire, birthed in Biblical rhetoric and brimstone, Pastor

    Jalegas came to minister to the faithful at the Christian Church in Langdon. He had

    driven a team and wagon thirty miles each Sunday since spring to preach the Gospel for

    the goodly sum of $3.00 per trip, which was the average collection from the morning

    offering. Few members of the church had a buggy to ride in. The common way to go tochurch was to ride in a wagon, with straight back chairs for seats, these same chairs

    doubling for seating after arrival at the destination.

    During the summer of 1909, Pastor Jalegas conducted a week of revival meetings

    around the Fourth of July, filling every inch of space in the compact church building.

    Men and boys stood shuffling around the walls; and on the raised platform, lying on

    comforters surrounding the pulpit, numerous children slept through Pastor Jalegas

    sermons, which ran on for an hour and a half. The church did not have the resources to

    buy proper pews. Aside from those few who brought their own chairs, most of the

    congregation sat on rough-cut 2x10 planks.

    Jalegas preached against the sins of the day. He cited scripture and verse against

    Womens Suffrage and decried the evils of Demon Rum. He warned the congregation of

    the danger of a Papist Revolution in America that would rival the Spanish Inquisition.

    Josie Holmes loaded all her six children into the wagon and made Billy drive the

    horses to town. Ferrell was barely two, but she took him in arms to the church each night

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    during the revival. Jonas refused to go. When Pastor Jalegas came to call after finishing

    the series of meetings, Josie gasped in horror when she heard her husband explain that he

    was still engaged in plowing a sod patch that proved so frustrating that he could not keep

    from swearing.

    When the farmwork is caught up, Jonas said, Ill join your dang church.

    Jonas did not make good on his word for another year. Josie saved the letter they

    received following his baptism from Preacher Talbert, in Turon, the same minister who

    had married Sherman and Stella, almost 20 years before. For Josie, however, it was a

    spiritual homecoming knowing that her Jonas was saved and at last a member, however reluctant, of the fold.

    Turon, KansasOct - 12 - 1910

    Mr. Jonas Holmes

    Dear Friends,

    Mr. Frank Jalegas called me Sunday morning and told me you had joined the Church and would be baptized that day and that you would like for me to come over.

    It was just impossible for me to come. My wife had gone to Kansas City on a visit and there was no one herebut me and the children and I couldnt leave them.

    I am glad to know that you have taken the stand that you have. And may you never have cause to look back withregret.

    God bless you and keep you in that straight and narrow path. That you not only be an example to your

    family but to the world as well This is the prayer of a true friend

    W. H. Talbert

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    By the fall of 1910, even with a toddler and a first-grader in tow, Jonas and Josie

    noticed that the family home had gotten less crowded. They considered both Bill and

    their second-born, Delphos, grown and ably working. The older boys slept at home

    unless they had jobs out of town, but otherwise came and went on their own time.

    Delphos courted the Cassil girl, Mary Alice, and Bill saw Rosa every chance he got, but

    he was more discreet than Delphos. The Cassils had known Jonas and Josie for years and

    they were Methodists. Even though the Kelleys were neighbors and friends, they were

    Catholic. So no one talked about Bills infatuation with Rosa. Josie took it for granted

    that Bill would find someone new, since Rosa had left for school. Delphos married MaryAlice Cassil in the fall of 1912. Their baby Doris turned Jonas and Josie into

    grandparents the following year.

    Saturday, August 3, 1912

    Twenty-five miles away from Nickerson and the girl he loved, Billy sat in the

    barbers chair in Langdon. He studied the words on the window facing Main Street.

    Howd you decide to become a barber, Mr. Duncan? Billy asked.Without slowing the snipping scissors in his hand, Ray Duncan cheerfully

    responded. A mans hair grows half an inch a month. Needs a shave every day. Seems

    like theres always work. Fella can earn two bits for a haircut and a shave. Adds up.

    Works clean and you meet interesting people.

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    Where did you learn your trade? Billy asked while watching tufts of his hair

    fall to the floor. He was already doing the arithmetic in his head. Why, if a man could

    stay busy, he could expect to make as much as $2.00 a day. Not bad.

    Barber school in Oklahoma City.

    How long did it take? Billys mind was racing. Was this the position he had

    been looking for? Could he and Rosa bring up a family on a barbers wages?

    Six weeks study. Six weeks as an apprentice.

    So began Billys career as a barber.

    Saturday, August 13, 1913

    A little more than a year later, Billy walked back into R.E. Duncans Tonsorial

    Shop. He had just celebrated his twenty-fourth birthday a few weeks before. It had been

    seven years since he first felt himself falling in love with Rosa Kelley. How could he

    ever forget that afternoon in the dell beneath the shade trees after Rosas last day in

    seventh grade. She had finished her final year in high school and they could finally be

    married. Now he had prospects, too. He would find a chair and begin making money

    from his schooling at the barber college in Oklahoma City.

    From the look on his face, Ray Duncan knew that young Bill Holmes had finally

    got the world by its tail. Billy proudly handed him a 3x5 card embossed with the Seal of

    the Kansas State Board of Examination:

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    Ray Duncan took Billys card and gave it a good look.

    Well, Ill be... Duncan exclaimed. You gotter done! Climb up here on the

    chair, lad, and let me give you a shave and a trim. This ones on the house.

    There was no one else in the shop, so Billy sat down in the barber chair, propped

    one foot up on the footrest, and crossed the other ankle on his knee. Mr. Duncan

    unbuttoned Billys collar and massaged his shoulder muscles briefly.

    This is just the beginning, Mr. Duncan. Billy said. His confidence was

    infectious. With an exaggerated flourish, Ray pulled a steaming towel from the stainless

    steel bin in the wall behind the chair.

    So it is, Bill, so it is, Ray agreed. He draped the wet towel over Billys face,

    leaving only the tip of his nose exposed. He waited a few moments. Then he reached for

    his straight-edged razor and applied it to the leather strop on the side of the chair. Billy

    couldnt help it, but he felt a little like a princea man of consequenceseated in this

    nickel-plated, enamel-trimmed throne. He sat up a little straighter against the crimson,

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    button-tufted leather seat and rested against the matching headrest on the back of the

    chair. He was being attended to by a viceroy or some other court official.

    After Ray honed the blade, he placed it on the marble counter top and added a

    little water to a large shaving mug with the letters R D E emblazoned onto it. He put the

    brush into it and whipped up lather in the mug, brushing it artistically onto Billys smooth

    face, now florid from the heat of the towels.

    Im going to get me a job barbering in Hutch. And once I get settled, Im going

    to marry Rosa Kelley, he said with the supreme confidence of youth.

    Ray accidentally brushed a dollop of shaving cream onto the end of Billys nose

    when he heard his young colleagues excited rush of words.

    Gwan to marry the Kelley girl, eh? Ray said, a note of skepticism creeping into

    his voice. Whats her parents say about that? Whats your folks say about that?

    Well, actually they dont know. Rosaknows, a course. Well, weve talked about

    it. Actually, we havent really talked about it just yet, not outright, but, well, we kinda

    both know. If you know what I mean. I mean, didnt you and Mrs. Duncan know? I

    mean, before. Well, didnt you? Billy almost pled for mercy.

    I guess we knew. Ray answered, stifling a smile that nonetheless Billy heard in

    his voice.

    Well thats how it is with me and Rosa. I guess her mother and daddy kinda

    expect it and all. At least by now. Ray skillfully scraped the stubble from Bills face

    with the straight edge of his razor while his young swain continued, importantly. We

    beentalkin about it since she was still in school. I mean, we know we want to have lots

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    of kids and its just been that since I wasnt settled and all. But now. I dont know if

    mamas going to go for the idea much. What with the Kelleys being Catholic and all.

    Your folks wont go against you marrying the Kelley girl, would they? As if he

    was the only one in the conversation who knew the true answer.

    No. Mama may have some trouble getting used to the idea, but shes the kind of

    woman that loves having grandchildren. You should see her with Baby Doris. Were

    going to give her a lot of grandbabies. Bill referred to the birth of his younger brothers

    first child. Doris was three months old and the center of attention whenever Delphos

    came around with his nineteen year old bride, Mary Alice, or Allie, as she was fondlycalled.

    Ray finished shaving Bill and took out the clippers to trim the short hairs above

    his collar.

    Im going to ask Rosa, tonight! He might have heard Ray Duncan sigh out

    loud, but for the fact that his own heart was racing like a team of runaway horses. He

    was consumed by love, by an unwavering belief in the possibility of a life with his

    beloved. The only sigh he might have heard at this moment would have been Rosa

    Kelleys.

    His children called Jonas, Papa. When they spoke of him, they often said things

    like, Papas going to be angry, or Papa wont like this, or Dont let Papa find out

    about Like many pioneer men, Jonas had learned to be strong, never to show

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    weakness. So by 1913, his children regarded him as a strong, determined, fearless bear

    of a man, a tribal elder at age 46 who should not be crossed, but who could be counted

    on. His sons learned that expressions of affection, or most any other emotion, might be

    interpreted as a sign of weakness. While it was fine to laugh and show good humor in a

    group of other men, or to impress the ladies in the group, any kind of sentimentality was

    to be avoided. Bill had this kind of relationship with his father. Jonas rarely showed

    emotion, unless he got angry. He showed his love for all his children in the same way.

    He loved them, but if they did something to anger him, they didnt have to wait very long

    to get a reaction. They learned to understand that silence meant approval. Jonas did notconfront unless provoked, and then he could be fearsome in his angry rages. So Bill

    learned how to charm his father at an early age. Bill had learned to manipulate most

    situations to his favor; he became used to getting what he wanted. So he mustered his

    confidence and waited just outside the living room where Jonas sat in his chair reading

    the Langdon L eader .

    Papa? Jonas looked up. Bill waited on the other side of the archway that

    separated the living room from the dining room, holding his straw hat by its brim,

    looking like he had a question on his mind.

    Mmph? Jonas answered, looking over the top of the paper, and then folding it

    sensing a question, a confession or a talk at hand, but saying nothing more. He waited for

    Bill to make the first move.

    Its about Rosa.

    What about Rosa?

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    Were going to get married. Bill tried not to make the statement sound like a

    request for approval, but Jonas understood it that way never-the-less.

    That right? Spect your mama will be interested in the news. She know yet?

    No. See thats the thing. I think Mamas going to be a little bit upset.

    Spect your right about that, except the little bit part. Shes probably going to

    take off like a mama bear out to save her young, you being one of them.

    Well, what do you think?

    About what? The religion part, or your mama? So far as I care, I dont think

    that theres much difference in the Catholics and the rest of us. We all pray to the sameGod when were in trouble. Ignore Him most the rest of the time. Jesus died to save us

    from ourselves, Catholic or not. What we believe doesnt make us wrong most of the

    time. What they believe dont make them wrong neither. We dont tell our secrets to the

    preacher in some little booth, but might be better off if we did. Bill was amazed at how

    much his father understood about the Catholic Church. Rosa had told him about going to

    confession, but hearing his father talk about it surprised him.

    But where your mama is concerned, I think its apt to be a problem.

    How come?

    Rosa being Catholic and all. Her folks likely will want you to be Catholic too.

    You thought about that?

    Not so much. I mean, I dont understand all the Catholic things about being

    Catholic and all. The Pope and everything. But theyre just good people, Mr. and Mrs.

    Kelley. Why Jims about my best friend. He dont seem much different from me. And

    there aint ever been anybody else besides Rosa. I just think, well, when I think of my

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    life, and the future and having children and everything, I just dont think of it being with

    anyone but Rosa. Isnt that how it was with you and Mama? Isnt that how you feel

    about her?

    I reckon so, son, but your mama and me, we didnt have to solve the Protestant

    revolution over whether to get married or not. Question you better answer is what you

    believe? You going to be a member of the Catholic Church or the Christian Church?

    Well, Catholics are Christians.

    But Christians arent Catholics, Jonas responded.

    Frustrated, Bill chose not to debate. Im not looking to solve no religiousquestions. I just want to get married and raise a family of my own.

    Aah. Thats the problem. Your mamas going to want to know what church you

    and Rosa plan to raise the children in. And so are Frank and Margaret Kelley. And what

    does Rosa have to say about that? And what do you think about that?

    Nobody asked Delphos and Allie whether they were going to go to be

    Methodists when they got married.

    Its different with Catholics.

    You think you can talk Mama into approving us getting married?

    I dont think your mother will like the idea very much.

    Well, why is it up to her to say?

    Youre the one doing the asking. Bill pondered this for a moment.

    Then its more for me to say than for her to say, isnt it?

    Its for you to decide Bill, but I guess you know that there will be hell to pay

    either way. Bill sat silent for a while longer.

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    I guess so. He wondered how his papas clarification of the situation could

    leave him more confused about what to do that he was before. He wanted to make

    everybody happy. It didnt look like there was going to be a way for anybody to be

    satisfied with the situation, no matter what he decided to do.

    So he decided to say nothing to his mother about his decision. That way he could

    get Rosas answer and make plans. Then when Mama found out she would just have to

    realize that this was his decision and go along with it. Bill decided that by delaying the

    confrontation with his mother, he would somehow improve his position in the argument.

    He didnt challenge the reason in this position. He liked the way it felt to take his ideafor granted.

    So Bill and Rosa had kept their relationship relatively discreet. Bill suspected

    correctly that his parents, especially his mother, might object if they imagined that his

    relationship with Rosa had become something more than a friendship or an infatuation.

    But the Kelleys had opened their home to Bill, welcoming him into their midst almost

    like a son or a potential son-in-law. So with his new haircut and shave, fresh from Mr.

    Duncans barbershop, Bill kept a date for supper with the Kelleys.

    Rosa was the second oldest of six children. She had two younger brothers,

    besides Jim: Frankie and Tommy. And her baby sister, Agnes. Margaret Kelley

    arranged the table so that Bill sat between Rosa and the oldest sister, Theresa. Agnes sat

    on the end, beside her father. The three boys sat on the other side of the table. Jim

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    ignored Frankie and Tommy and talked baseball with his friend as if Rosa was in another

    room. The younger boys gawked at Bill and their sister on the other side and laughed

    with their squeaky, changing voices. It was his first meal in the Kelley home since

    returning from BarberCollege in Oklahoma City. Bill fidgeted and seemed distracted

    throughout the meal as if he had something else on his mind. Margaret and Frank sat at

    opposite ends of the table, exchanging looks with each other when they noticed Bills

    strange behavior.

    After supper, the young couple politely excused themselves for a stroll through

    the late summer grounds that surrounded the Kelley home. A gazebo with a benchoverlooked the half-acre vegetable garden that by now had gone mostly fallow. The pair

    sat inside the gazebo and looked out over the farmland beyond.

    I got something to show you, Bill said, unable to conceal his pride of

    accomplishment. He withdrew his barber license from his wallet and showed it to Rosa.

    Oh Bill! This is wonderful. When will you start?

    Well, first I have to find me a place with an open chair, then I can set up shop,

    but itll take a while to draw a regular trade.

    But this is a beginning, isnt it?

    Sure is. And theres something else, Rosa. She waited with a curious look on

    her face. I want you to know that when I get things settled, and have a reliable business

    and all Bill dropped to one knee in front of his beloved and took her hand into his,

    looking into her face, almost as if he was in pain, anticipating her answer. that I want

    you to marry me.

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    Hes asking! Rosa thought. Fireworks seemed to burst in her head. She had

    almost always known that she and Bill would marry someday. At first she couldnt

    answer him. He had caught her off balance. Thrown an unexpected fastball.

    Finally she said, Oh, Bill! Of course, Ill marry you! They sprang at each other

    clumsily and kissed, closed-lipped, but passionately.

    His voice softened. I just never want to be with anyone but you, Rosa.

    And youre the only man for me, Bill. Always have been. Always will.

    I love you.

    And I love you. They kissed again. Rosa relaxed into Bills embrace and sheheld him close, but their legs and knees stayed modestly anchored to the bench so that all

    the work was being done above their waists.

    Frank and Margaret Kelley watched the tableau unfold from the kitchen window

    inside the house. They took care not to let the young people in the gazebo see them, but

    Rosa and Bill only had eyes for each other. They would not have noticed a coliseum

    filled with onlookers. When Bill dropped to his knee, Frank and Margaret understood the

    gesture. They liked Bill and had expected this moment to arrive for some time. They

    also knew that this meant some tough decisions would have to be made in the near future.

    I guess this means were going to have us another member of the family, Frank

    said to his wife in a quiet voice.

    It looks that way doesnt it?

    I like that boy.

    Hes a good boy. But what will his folks say?

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    I think Jonas is live and let live. Josie? Now theres a feisty one. She may not

    take to this.

    You think hell take instruction?

    Reckon so. Not sure where, nothing around here. Where you want them to get

    married?

    St. Teresas if theyll have us.

    What if they wont stand for that? Frank asked, referring to Bills family.

    Cross that bridge if we get to it. Hell have to agree to have their babies raised in

    the church at least.Thats where Miss Josie may put her foot down.

    Rosa will make that decision. Bill will go along with whatever she says.

    I suppose. Franks concession did not change the doubt in his mind.

    The Kelleys left the window when they saw Bill and Rosa leaving the gazebo.

    They didnt ask questions when the couple came back inside the house, but cast knowing

    glances back and forth to one another. Bill and Rosa did not make any announcements.

    Bill stayed for a piece of Margarets strawberry-rhubarb pie and said good night.

    Later in her bed, Rosa went to sleep imagining her wedding and the life that she

    would have with Bill. She slept soundly all night long, but when she awoke, she felt

    fearful, as if some bad dream had left her unsettled, though she could not remember

    having nightmares. She only remembered dreaming about working in a department store

    far away from home, waiting for her man, feeling some undisclosed fear that many

    problems waited for the couple that it would be hard for them to be together. She sat

    on the side of her bed and prayed the Rosary before she came downstairs that morning,

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    The social provided a chaperoned occasion for young people to meet and mix. So

    Bill and Vesta could not miss the event, nor could Tommy and Rosa. They met there at

    dusk and bought ice cream for a nickel a bowl. Tommy and Bill had pie for another

    nickel. Jim Kelley bought two pieces of Italian Crme cake with ice cream and shared

    them with Gertrude Applegate, who had become smitten by Rosas tall and handsome

    younger brother.

    At the end of the event, the youngsters coupled for the drive home. Bill and Rosa

    had much to talk about after his proposal the week before. Bill drove Blaze and the

    buckboard to the event. When they left, he gave Rosa his hand up into the wagon. Sheclimbed aboard to sit at the front on a wooden bench with a short back, supported by two

    pairs of springs bolted into the floor boards. Together, Bill and Rosa rocked and bounced

    easily from this perch on the bumpy country lanes. As Bill turned the horse onto the road

    that led out of town and back towards the Kelley place, Rosa wanted to talk.

    Bill, Ive been thinking.

    Ive been thinking too, about you, every day.

    And Ive been thinking about you too and about us, and Bill, theres something

    we need to decide about.

    Whats that, Sugar? He spoke as if mesmerized by her presence.

    My mamas going to want to know where we would have our children baptized.

    Church I reckon, wouldnt you?

    But which one?Yours or mine? Bill did not immediately answer because he

    understood the importance of the question. Instinctively, he wanted to change the

    subject. He knew what his mother would say. He decided to pull off to the side of the

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    I dont know that your mama will go along with that. It may not be that simple

    for her.

    Shell go along, Bill assured, but stifled the doubt he felt saying so. No

    Catholic church stood within an easy drive. Bill knew the Kelleys rarely left home to go

    to mass or confession except on high holidays, so he decided to dismiss his concerns. He

    had managed other situations that seemed harder than this and gotten his way. Why

    should this be any different?

    You dont think shell mind us raising them in the church? Rosa asked. Bill

    took her meaning and knew that the Langdon Christian Church was not the church.Youd take instruction? she asked.

    Instruction?

    Wed need to go to classes with Father Gawain.

    To learn what?

    The catechism. What we believe and such. So youd be a better father to our

    children and understand the liturgy.

    Hmm. Bill thought about learning Catholicism. He had not learned that much

    about Protestantism and felt little motivation to learn something more about something

    else. So he did not really feel the need, but an instinctive curiosity seemed to say, why

    not? and he sensed that Rosa expected him to concede. So he asked, Youd want me

    to?

    I guess it would be expected. Would you mind? Bill did not ask if it would be

    a requirement. Expected carried enough weight.

    You know I would do anything to make you happy, Rosa.

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    Just this one little thing?

    And anything else. He leaned over and kissed her. She kissed him back and for

    a while they said nothing, but held each other in a series of passionate embraces. The sun

    dropped below the horizon and filled the sky with purple, blue and pink remnants that

    reflected off the clouds overhead. Blaze shifted from one foot to another. The clover

    gone now, he became impatient for the bucket of oats he expected to receive after Bill

    unhitched him from the wagon. The couple sensed the horses impatience and realized

    that things between them might get out of hand if they did not make their way home

    pretty soon. Neither of them longed for questions from their parents, should their returns be too late. Bill picked up the reins and clucked for Blaze to head back onto the lane. An

    owl formed a black silhouette soaring overhead, looking for varmints in the pasture grass

    beyond the barbed wire fence that bordered each side of the road.

    Rosa could not get the feelings of anxiety to relax in her stomach. This

    engagement seemed all too easy, too wonderful to imagine, too good to be true. Bill

    looked out ahead of the horse, into the darkening skies without apparent concern. He

    just doesnt understand, Rosa thought, but then she could not decide exactly what he

    didnt understand, or what else she needed to make him understand. They would talk

    again and he would finally see. Sooner or later, he would understand.

    In 1913 Vesta left to attend county high school in Nickerson. The first Holmes of

    her generation or any other to go to high school, she was a very bright student who loved

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    to read and wrote beautifully. She had advantages her papa never saw fitting for his sons.

    She read music and played piano. Josie planned to give the little boys piano lessons over

    her husbands objections, but they agreed that Vesta should be prepared to be a lady.

    Josie jealously guarded the kitchen work. Vesta tatted lace doilies for the sofa and chairs

    in the parlor.

    At fifteen, Vesta was a strikingly beautiful, if wispy girl. She and Bill had the

    same fine features and bone structure. But his eyes shone black in the parlor or the

    noonday sun and his hair glowed dark auburn. Her eyes were blue-gray and her light

    brown hair was fine and silky. It could not hold curls and combs could not hold it. So asa girl, her mother tied her hair back in braids. Fine loose hairs framed her face and neck.

    Ve sta, Ag e 15

    She was slight of build, but strong and

    quick on her feet. Her face was tanned

    and freckled in the summer, much to

    Josies chagrin. She wore pants her

    brothers had outgrown. She could

    mount a horse bareback. She rode Blaze

    astraddle, holding onto his mane as they

    galloped across the pasture, scaring up

    jackrabbits for the dogs to chase. She

    was her papas pet, and for her mama

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    she was the hope for all the things that Josie would never see nor do.

    Though Nickerson lay only twenty miles or so to the northeast of Langdon, a daily

    commute was inconceivable. So Jonas and Josie arranged room and board for Vesta so that she

    could attend classes. The train connected Nickerson and Hutchinson, Hutchinson and Langdon,

    so she could easily come home most weekends or on special holidayswhen there was money

    for the ticket, that is.

    Vesta loved school and her teachers admired the quality of her work. She made friends

    easily and found that boyfriends were especially easy to find ... and lose. Easy-going and

    friendly, she kept many friends of both sexes, but did not at first settle into the arms of a steadyfellow.

    J anuary 12, 1914

    On this Tuesday morning, after the boys left for school Josie washed the breakfast dishes

    and cleaned up the kitchen before she sat for a moment to gather her thoughts for what remained

    of the week. She took a half empty cup of cold coffee and the last two biscuits, spread soft butter

    from the crockery pot she kept on the kitchen table, then covered it with an old white saucer to

    keep the flies out. Criss-cross lines of yellow-brown crazing netted the saucer after so many

    years of use. Using an old pencil with a dull point, she started a list on a piece of tablet paper.

    Today she would hitch up Old Blaze to the buggy and drive him into town for a bit of shopping.

    She checked the sugar bowl that she kept on the shelf over the table and used her thumb and

    forefinger to pick out several dull coins, squeezing them into the palm of her hand, until she

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    seemed satisfied with the amount. Vesta had nearly finished sewing a pretty green dress over

    Christmas break and had taken the pattern and remaining pieces back to school with her. Only

    the collar and cuffs had not been sewn in, for lack of floss to complete the embroidered pattern

    on each, else the project would be completed. Josie had promised Vesta that she would send the

    floss up first chance after she got to town to pick it up, but her daughter had been back in school

    now for a week, so now the matter had taken on urgency in Josies mind. After she put combs

    into her hair to manage the fly-aways, she took a good-sized flour sack that she had converted to

    a shopping bag with loop handles and a drawstring, and headed out to the barn to find the horse.

    Thankfully, the boys had hitched Blaze to the wagon and tied him to the hitching postoutside the barn. She caught her thumbnail as she unknotted the worn leather reins and winced

    at the unexpected pain, uttering an oath of her own invention. Piss pee-daddle, she cursed and

    brought her thumb to her mouth, tasting the sweet saltiness of her own blood as she sucked on

    the wound and caught the pungent smell of the leather straps in her hand. Blaze observed all this

    without comment and showed no urgency about starting the trek. Josie threw the reins over the

    horses head and walked around his side to the front of the buggy. She cast her bag onto the seat

    just above her eye level. Grabbing onto the edge of the buggy, she raised her right foot onto the

    forged metal step bolted onto the bottom and pulled herself onto the buckboard. Blaze turned to

    observe her progress and snorted. Josie settled onto the middle of the springboard bench and

    wrapped the end of the reins around her left hand, keeping her back straight as a rod and her right

    hand free for steering and control of the animal. Hee-yaw, Blaze, she ordered and the horse

    stepped out.

    Twenty minutes later she was off the buckboard and looping the reins over the rail at the

    side of the general store in Langdon. She made her way up and down the aisles, systematically

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    gathering her goods and had found everything but the floss when a familiar voice distracted her

    from her efforts to match the sage green cuffs to the available color choices. When she looked

    up, she saw Rosa Kelley, paying for her purchases at the cashiers stand.

    Oh, no, Mr. McAtee, I finished school last spring. Ive been working in Hutchinson

    since last fall. She laughed in a way that showed how happy she was with her life. Josie

    decided to enter the conversation.

    My goodness Rose Mary, I didnt expect to see you here this morning. Josie spoke

    with a smile, but an uncommon formality in her tone, looking over the tops of her spectacles into

    Rosas bright blue eyes.Why good morning, Mrs. Holmes, its so good to see you this morning. Ive been back

    helping Daddy. Teresa and Mother are both getting over a terrible case of the grippe. Daddys

    driving me back to Hutchinson after we have dinner.

    Such a nice girl, that Rosa, Josie thought, Catholic, too bad.

    I hadnt heard about your mother and sister. Are they doing better now?

    Oh, yes, much so. But still very weak. The two of them and the house and meals are

    quite a load for Daddy, even with the boys helping out with the chores. I was asking after you

    when I saw Bill this weekend. Josies ears perked up.

    I didnt know Bill had seen you of late. Without thinking, Josie began laying out her

    purchases for Mr. McAtee to write up.

    Oh, yes. Hes such a dear. Driving me down last weekend after work on Friday. I

    dont know what Id do without him.

    Josie bristled, but maintained her stance. Now she understood why Bill had missed

    supper last Friday. Do you see him often, dear? Josie asked.

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    Not as often as wed like, but he gets up sometime most weekends, unless Im going to

    be home.

    I see. Josie managed to continue smiling, but realized that the puppy love between her

    son and this Catholic girl had not abated as she imagined it had after she found out that Rosa was

    off to school. Bill had been away to school in Oklahoma since then and she had heard no talk of

    Rosa Kelley at home. Wouldnt one of her friends have said something? This new

    understanding concerned her.

    Well, it was awfully nice seeing you this morning, Mrs. Holmes. Ive got to get on now,

    Daddyll be waiting.So good to see you too, dear. Josie waited as Mr. McAtee finished adding up her

    purchases and counted out a few coins to pay. She was down the road and half-way home before

    she realized that she had not found the floss she had come for. Piss-peedaddle, she thought to

    herself, Wasnt nothing matched just right anyhow.

    Josie stewed all afternoon as she stayed busy with household chores, puckering her lips

    as if to kiss something unseen whenever she thought about her first-born son taking up with the

    Catholic girl. What her morning meeting with Rosa hadnt done, her imagination had completed

    by the time Jonas and the boys sat for supper. It worried her such that after supper when the

    boys were in bed she decided to tell Jonas about her day.

    Ran into Rosa Kelley at McAtees this morning.

    Mmm-hmm, Jonas acknowledged, without looking up from the Langdon L eader .

    Says she and Bill came down from Hutchinson Friday, last.Something about Margaret

    and Teresa getting over some case of the flu, or something.

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    Mmm? He opened a new page of the newspaper, browsing the news more than he

    listened to his wife.

    Sounds like she and Bill are keeping company regular these days. Did you know that?

    Josie leaned forward in her chair.

    Cant say as I did. Shes always been a good girl. Did she say how shes doing at

    school?

    Shes done with school. Didnt talk about that. Now Daddy, using the pet name she

    had given her husband, Bills ripe to marry now, whats he keeping company with a Catholic

    girl for? Jonas relaxed his arms, letting the paper crumple into his lap, wondering how much tosay about what he knew.

    Imagine hes more interested in her pretty red hair and those blue eyes than which

    church she goes to, he replied.

    But what if they end up Josie stopped, not sure what she feared most. She knew that

    not all the young people waited until their wedding night. What if they get serious?

    Imagine it already is serious. We aintever known Bill to show much interest in

    anybody else.

    Youll not stand for this.

    You think I can stop him?

    You think I cant?

    Have you considered what happens if you cant?

    Have you considered what happens if we dont?

    Josie

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    Dont Josie me, now. A parents got a right and a privilege to say something about

    their childrens getting married.

    Who said anything about them getting married? Jonas wondered how much more she

    already knew.

    Im not saying they are, but what if they did? What would become of our

    grandchildren? You want them murdering us for the Pope?

    Thats ridiculous.

    You turning a blind is whats ridiculous, her voice had gotten louder and shriller.

    Just bide your time. Whats meant to be will be. He stopped and folded the paper twice before looking up at his wife, then looked at her for a long moment without speaking. I

    think its time for bed, Jonas said, dismissing her and her fears and placing the paper on the

    lamp table beside his chair. He leaned over and blew out the flame, signaling an end to their

    conversation.

    Mark my words, Jonas, I intend to do whatever I have to do to put an end to this matter.

    He stood. She rose from her chair looking up into his face.

    Youd better be careful or you may get what you wish for. Now thats enough, he said,

    pulling her towards himself. Lets not have anymore of this talk at bedtime.

    Later, when the lights were out and Jonas deep rhythmic breathing from the other side of

    the bed did nothing to calm her nerves or put her to sleep, Josie lay wide-eyed on the mattress

    worrying about her son and the souls of her unborn grandchildren. When she could not sleep she

    decided to get up and read scripture from the Bible, hoping to find sleep. Sitting at her secretary

    she decided to write to Vesta in Nickerson instead, tell her to find her floss up there for her

    failure to do so in Langdon.

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    They hadnt heard the last from her on the matter, she thought, looking at Bills framed

    photograph on the top of the secretary. She drew her ink pen and began to write. Not by any

    means.

    Tommy Smith met Vesta in Latin class. He was an average-looking boy whose family

    worked a farm situated between the towns of Arlington and Abbyville, some 15 miles northeast

    of Langdon, and much closer to Nickerson. He lived with his aunt and uncle, who operated thetrain station in Nickerson. He noticed Vesta on the very first day of classes.

    Jonas and Josie arranged for Vesta to take a room in the home of a Mrs. Jarrett in

    Nickerson. Mrs. Jarrett was a short, stout, matronly woman, not much older than Josie. She and

    Josie had known of each other for some time, owing to their work for the Reno County Christian

    Womens Society, in which both had served with honor for several years. Mary Jarrett was

    widowed; her husbands life insurance had made it possible for her to keep their large family

    home. Since the Jarrett children had married and left the family nest, she let the extra bedrooms

    to others for an income.

    Vesta walked to school daily, and on Sunday morning she accompanied Mrs. Jarrett to

    the MethodistChurch, two blocks away. Vesta felt quite grown up, living more or less on her

    own, even though under the supervision of this kindly older woman who treated her almost as if

    she were her own daughter. They filled the roles of mother and daughter for each other, but

    because they were not, they developed a close friendship that would last for many years to come.

    They became girl friends. Vesta received two or three letters each week from home. The letters

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    were newsy and brief, and usually written to attend to some business, as this one received during

    her sophomore year.

    L angdon, Kansas

    Tues Jan 12, 1914

    Dear Vesta Just a few lines in regard to your collar &

    cuffs. There was not quite enough of floss, am sending them and I think you can get Mrs. Jarrett to finish them for you. I dont think

    she will charge you much and then you will have them. Mrs.Cassil said you would haft to match your sash as near to that trimming as you could. You may haft to wait till you get to Hutch.We tried to match the floss down here and bright green was thenearest we could get.

    I washed today after I got Winifreds card that she would not be here so am very tired and taking cold-- but will take acapsule of quinine before I go to bed

    Ferrell and I devoured two big red apples this afternoon. Papa set a 7 lb. fish down for supper. I just skinned enough for supper and he finished the job. It was awfully good. You had better run over for breakfast.

    Mary Alice is sick-- sore throat and Grip. I guess theywere going to bring Doris into Cassils tonight.

    Charley Railsback came by a while ago, he and Will Cranston have fun helping Brother Sapp. They took his goods tothe Depot. Mr. & Mrs. Sapp are at Moodies tonight. They dont leave till Friday. Athertons are back now.

    I got 4 nice birthday cards, I feel quite old. 45, do you suppose I will ever see 50? We got Fays letter last night. I hopehe dont get exposed to the scarlet fever.

    Letters like this left Vesta feeling lonely, especially in January. So as the fierce Kansas

    winter gave way to spring, she began to draw closer to others in school. She noticed that Tommy

    Smith was more attentive to her than to all the other girls in school. He surprised her in the

    Nickerson City Library one Friday afternoon as she was reading the poetry of Walt Whitman.

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    Its very beautiful, isnt it? He whispered. Vesta jumped. She had not heard him

    approach and she had been reading Whitmans poetry in secret because it was considered too

    mature for young eyes.

    Have you read any of Whitmans poems? she asked.

    I have his Leaves of Grass at home. Vesta caught her breath. She only knew of that

    book because she had heard the women of the Langdon Christian Womens Society condemn it

    at a meeting back home. They had insisted that it be taken off the shelf at the Langdon library

    two years before. She did not know or understand what the fuss was all about, but their

    condemnation of the book increased its appeal in her eyes.I can bring it for you to see, Tommy ventured.

    From then on, he and Vesta met often at the library to study. As he walked with her from

    school to the library and from there to Mrs. Jarretts house, their friendship grew and deepened

    beyond what either one had anticipated.

    Tommy and Vesta both wrote poetry. She had read all of the Bronte books over summer

    vacations before starting high school. She kept a copy of Nathaniel Hawthornes The Scarlett

    Letter secreted among her personal clothing, where no prying eyes would think to look. She

    imagined that she was Pearl, since her family actually descended from someone named

    Dinsmore. She fantasized that her family had migrated from a New England hamlet, which they

    had left in shame, to build a new life in the wilderness of the West. She knew none of this was

    true, except for her Granny Liza being named Dinsmore, but it was so much more interesting

    than the story of sod houses and covered wagons that the old folks talked about on Sunday

    afternoons.

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    Vesta invited her friends to sign her autograph book on Valentines Day, 1915. Few

    could afford the colorful die-cut Valentines Day cards that were just becoming popular. Some

    of the entries were clever, some not so.

    Friend Vesta Holmes:

    In the house of warm affection, In the house of social glee,While of others you are thinking,Will you think sometimes of me?

    Your friend,Carrie L . Carmichael

    Sugar is sweet and Coffee is black But you are theSweetest girl I

    Ever sawWillie L einweber

    Cedar is green and So is pine

    I would give this world if You were mine.

    T.A.S.

    She wrote these lines in the centerfold of her little autograph book.

    Hearts Desire.

    I send a sign of love, the morning sends A rosy cloud, his mounted messenger And the glad earth in ecstasy attends,Sure now her love himself will Come to her.

    L oved one, I adore thee! My heart I lay before thee.Take it, --it is thine

    For thee, my soul is yearning.To thee, my hopes are turning Say wilt thou be mine?

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    I greet thee, dear, I greet thee.The bright spring days are near,With flowerets sweet my love I greet--Saint Valentines Day is here!

    When wind and storm is past and gone, May a gentle calm succeed. I too soon have a troubled mind Sleep is the friend we need With these few lines you may a question find

    My question is if you find out, L ove is trouble without a double.

    And near the back of the book, where no one but Vesta would ever look, Tommy wrote these

    prophetic words:

    When I my love from you must part Shall have a sting in each ones heart

    I to some foreign land must goSleep in death as others do

    All this I have and more to say Night is coming and I must awayWith meditation read these lines.You will in this a secret find.

    When on this page your eyes you cast

    Remember when you saw me last Remember too, I love you well. Remember these sad words, Farewell.

    Forty years later, alone in her parlor on a gray Sunday afternoon in January, Vesta held

    her autograph book in her lap and read Tommys poem again. Looking for the green Depression

    glass sherbets, she had found the book in a box of old keepsakes at the back of the top shelf in

    the dining room cabinet, lodged behind the good china. Who knew how many years it had beenthere? NickersonHigh School seemed long ago and far away from her in 1955. She wondered

    how her life might have been different if she had married her high school sweetheart. A postcard

    with Tommys picture on the front, him in his uniform, set for war, fell out of the back of the

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    autograph book. She studied his face for a long while, smiled at the high topped black boots and

    trousers that flounced above his knees, lost in her memories. With a dull pencil, she wrote on the

    blank backside of the picture postcard, Tommy Smith, Vestas friend. An unfamiliar tear

    slipped from her eye and she placed the postcard back into the autograph book, returning it to the

    memory box where she had kept it for so long, and stood. She walked across her living room

    and sat on the piano stool, thinking to practice the offertory medley she had planned for next

    weeks services.