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Little  Red  Riding  Hood  Unplugged  

   

By  Mary  Kay  Clark    

1/10/2020    VIDEO:  

Small  crowd  is  gathered  outside  TV  studio  awaiting  the  arrival  of  4  celebrities.  (The  Best  Director,  Greta  Starr,  the  Good  Fairy  and  the  Big  Bad  Wolf)  TV  camera  and  Leslie  Halt  are  waiting  for  stream      

News  is  there  to  interview  the  crowd.    

(BEAT  1)  LIVE:  In  the  news  studio,  crew  is  bustling  to  get  ready  for  the  upcoming  broadcast.  Lights  come  up  on  studio  as  News  Crew  comes  in  to  set  water,  lay  out  papers  and  straighten  news  desk.  Cue  Card  Holder  enters,  takes  drink  of  water  and  runs  off  to  get  cue  cards.  Cameras  are  checked.  The  ON  AIR  sign  is  off.  News  Director  enters  as  crew  is  bustling  about.  

 News  Director:   Are  we  all  set?    Cue  Card:     (Reenters)  Got  the  cue  cards.    News  Crew:     We’re  almost  ready.  Where’s  the  

Ryan?    News  D:   He’s  finishing  up  in  make-­‐up.  We  should  have  a  

good  show  today.    

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News  Crew:   Right!  It’s  amazing  what’s  happening  right  here  in  Auburn.  

 Ryan  Williams:   (Enters  quickly  followed  by  a  couple  of  his  

staff.  One  with  a  makeup  brush  who  dabs  powder  during  following  conversation.  The  other  carrying  a  notebook  and  rifling  through  papers  on  desk)  I’m  ready.  Where’s  my  script?  

 News  Crew:   On  your  desk.    Assistant:     Would  you  like  coffee?    Ryan  Williams:   (Sitting  at  desk  looking  around)  No,  I’m  

good.    Where’s  my  water?    Cue  Card:     (Interrupting)  I’ve  checked  all  your  cue  

cards  today.    Ryan  Williams:   That  was  a  horrible  mistake  last  week.  

Coffee  stains  so  bad  I  couldn’t  read  what  was  on  them.  

 Cue  Card:     No  problem  today,  sir.  I  drank  water.  

(Walks  to  camera  and  News  Director)    Ryan  Williams:   Where  is  my  water?    News  Director:   You  ready,  Ryan?    Assistant:     Would  you  like  tea?    Ryan  Williams:   No,  I’m  fine.  Today  will  be  exciting.  I’ve  

never  had  an  interview  with  such  a  

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famous  actress.  Greta  is  such  a  star.  I’m  a  little  nervous.  (makeup  brush  is  applied)  

 Makeup:     I  can  tell.  You’re  sweating.    Ryan  Williams:   Can  you  stop  with  the  powder?    Makeup:     Your  face  is  shining.  You’ll  look  terrible  

on  camera.  (Continues  powdering  as  Ryan  Williams  sneezes  and  squirms)  

 Ryan  Williams:   (To  Makeup)  Stop!  (Makeup  backs  off.  

Then  goes  in  for  one  more  dab)    Assistant:     Would  you  like  coffee?    News  Ryan:   (Looks  at  her  quizzically)  No,  I’m  good.    News  D:   We’re  live  in  5  minutes!    News  Crew:   (Shouting)  Live  in  5!    Cue  Card:     He  wants  water!    Assistant:     Would  you  like  water?    Ryan  Williams:   (Frustrated)  Not  now!  It’s  too  late!    News  Crews  scurry  with  finishing  touches.  Makeup  looks  over  News  Ryan  Williams’  hair.  Ryan  Williams  picks  up  

script  and  sees  it’s  a  mess.  Puts  it  down  in  frustration.  News  Director  is  talking  with  camera  person.  Cue  Person  drops  the  cards  and  hurriedly  picks  them  up  looking  at  order.  

 News  D:   Ready  in  20.    

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News  Crew:     (Shouting)  20!      Assistant:   (Runs  back  on)  I  could  throw  you  a  water  

bottle  from  back  stage!      Ryan  Williams:     Go!    (Crew  scurries  off  the  set  leaving  News  Director,  Cue  Card  person  and  Camera  Person.  Assistant  has  crawled  in  with  a  bottle  of  water  puts  it  on  the  desk  and  crawls  out.    News  Crew  is  at  control  panel.  News  Ryan  Williams  is  at  the  desk  shuffling  papers)  

 News  D:   (Looking  at  watch)  In  

10…9…8…7…6…(Finishes  by  using  arm  gestures.  At  1  points  to  News  Crew  who  is  at  a  control  panel  and  he  presses  two  buttons.  One  to  light  up  the  ON  AIR  sign  and  the  other  to  roll  the  opening  credits  that  we  see  on  the  TV  screens.  Audience  sees  the  opening  credits  for  the  upcoming  News  Show…then  we  go  live  to  the  News  Ryan  Williams.    

   

Ryan  Williams:    Good  Evening.    I  am  Ryan  Williams  reporting  for  Your  Best  News,  here  in  Auburn.  We  have  some  breaking  news.  It  seems  that  the  Mayor  Ley  has  received  an  exciting  proposal  that  will  put  our  town  on  the  national  map.  Our  own  News  Correspondent,  Leslie  Halt,  is  with  the  Mayor  now.  Leslie…(Cut  to  video  feed  of  the  Mayor  talking  with  News  C,  Leslie  Halt)  

     

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VIDEOTAPED:    News  C:   I’m  here  with  Mayor  Ley,  who  has  received  a  

call  from  the  Good  Fairy!  She’s  the  famed  author  of  all  those  fairy  tales  we  know.  Mayor,  can  you  tell  us  about  this  call?  

 Mayor:   Thank  you  and  hello  fine  citizens  of  Auburn.  

Yes,  indeed,  I  did  receive  a  call  from  the  Good  Fairy  and  it  seems  that  she  is  going  to  be  writing  a  new  Fairy  Tale  and  has  requested  that  our  town  host  her  and  a  small  crew  to  stage  this  new  tale.  

 News  C:   And  what  was  your  response  to  this?    Mayor:   I  said  “Yes”,  of  course.  And  knowing  this  would  

be  a  great  undertaking,  I  have  decided  to  turn  this  project  over  to  Excelsior  Theater  Arts  Academy.  They  will  be  perfect  at  carrying  out  all  the  details.  

 News  C:   Do  you  expect  this  will  be  great  exposure  for  

our  town?    Mayor:   I  do!  My  understanding  is  that  the  Good  Fairy  is  

bringing  a  very  famous  actress  and  director  and  will  be  asking  some  of  our  own  citizens  to  be  in  this  production!  

 News  C:   How  exciting.  We  do  have  more  details  of  this  

venture.  Back  to  you  Ryan  Williams.          

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LIVE:      Ryan  Williams:    Thank  you  Mayor  Ley  and  Leslie  

Halt.  Your  Best  News  has  learned  that  the  famous  actress,  Greta  Starr,  and  the  Good  Fairy  will  be  arriving  any  time  soon.    With  them  will  be  B.  B.  Wolf  and  T.  B.  Director.    The  crowd  is  waiting  outside  our  studios  and  they  are  anxious.    As  we  all  know,  Greta  is  best  known  for  winning  a  Tony  Award  for  Best  Backstage  Behavior  and  The  Fairy  is  the  famous  author  of  all  the  renowned  fairy  tales.  BB  Wolf  is  none  other  than  the  Big  Bad  Wolf…and  TB,  The  Best  Director.    We  at  Your  Best  News  will  be  interviewing  both  Fairy  and  Wolf  soon  to  find  out  why  Fairy  will  be  writing,  or  maybe,  rewriting  a  fairy  tale.    We  understand  that  Greta  Starr  will  be  playing  the  lead.    Your  Best  News  has  gotten  some  inside  scoop  that  the  Wolf  is  not  happy  with  some  of  the  fairy  tales.  

 Let’s  go  now  to  News  Leslie  Halt  who  is  outside  of  our  studios.  She/He  is  in  the  crowd  getting  some  of  the  fans’  reaction  to  the  arrival  of  these  celebrities.    Leslie  Halt...  Leslie,  are  you  there?  

 VIDEOTAPED:  (Scan  of  crowd  with  signs)    News  C:   Yes,  Ryan  Williams,  I  am  here  in  all  of  this  

excitement.  (Turns  to  a  group  of  people)  Are  you  excited  for  the  arrival  of  the  celebrities?  (Crowd  screams)  They  seem  to  be  ready  for  this  big  event.    I  am  with  some  fans  now…(to  fan)  so  what  is  it  about  the  Fairy  that  you  like?  

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 Fan  1:   Wow!    What  can  I  say?    The  Fairy  is  the  best.    I  

love  all  those  fairy  tales.    She  rocks!        Fan  2:   I  know,  right?!  She’s  awesome!    I  think  I  will  

faint  when  I  see  her!    News  C:   What  are  your  favorite  fairy  tales?    Fan  3:   I  love  Rapunzel…oh…and  Beauty  and  the  Beast!  

Fairy  tales  rule!    Fan  1:   What  about  The  Three  Little  Pigs?    That  one  

was  fabulous!  That  Wolf  was  awful!    Fan  3:   Remember  the  boy  who  cried  wolf?  The  wolf  

ate  those  sheep!  Wow!    Fan  2:   Right,  the  wolf  is  bad.    News  C:   Wow.    Some  of  the  fans  don’t  seem  to  like  the  

Wolf.  (turning  to  another  group)  I  am  with  more  fans.    Why  did  you  come  this  afternoon?  

 Fan  4:   I  wouldn’t  miss  this  for  the  world!    Fairy  is  

awesome,  writing  those  tales  and  all…and  to  think  that  Greta  Starr  is  actually  coming  right  here  to  Auburn!    Wow!  

 Fan  5:   And  now  Fairy  is  here  to  write  another  fairy  

tale.  How  cool  is  that!?    News  C:   Ryan,  did  you  hear  that?    LIVE:  

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Ryan  Williams:    Yes,  Leslie…we,  at  Your  Best  News,  know  that  TB  Director  is  here  to  audition  our  community  for  roles  in  this  upcoming  fairy  tale.  Can  you  get  a  sense  if  many  people  are  going  to  audition  for  this?  

 News  C:   Sure.  Let  me  ask.    (turning  to  Actor  1)    So  are  

you  going  to  audition  for  this  new  fairy  tale?    Actor  1:   Yes,  I  am.    News  C:   Are  you  excited  about  maybe  getting  a  part?    Actor  1:   Are  you  kidding?    This  is  a  chance  of  a  lifetime!    Actor  2:   Finally  I  can  show  my  talent.    Actor  3:   I  can’t  believe  that  I  might  act  alongside  of  

Greta…awesome,  right?    News  C:   Are  you  nervous  about  auditioning?    Actor  1:   Oh  my  goodness,  yes!    I  am  going  to  be  so  

nervous!    Actor  3:   Are  we  really  on  the  news…Hi  Mom!    Actor  2:    I  heard  that  the  Big  Bad  Wolf  is  coming  too.  Is  

that  true?    News  C:   Yes,  he  is.  (Walks  to  new  group  of  fans)  Let’s  get  

some  opinions  about  the  Wolf  coming  here.    (Turning  to  another  group)    What  about  the  Big  Bad  Wolf…what  do  you  think  of  him?  (we  hear  some  booing)  

 

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Fan    6:   He’s  scary…I  won’t  get  near  him!    Fan  7:   He  is  mean…that’s  why  he  has  Bad  in  his  name!    Fan  8:   He  eats  people!    Fan  9:   I  can’t  believe  that  Greta  Starr  would  actually  be  

in  a  production  with  him!    That  could  be  dangerous.  

 News  C:   Did  you  hear  that  Ryan?    Most  of  the  crowd  

doesn’t  have  a  good  feeling  about  BB  Wolf.    

LIVE:      Ryan  Williams:   Leslie,  I  think  the  celebrities  are  

arriving.    

Videotaped:    Crowd  cheers  as  cars  drive  up.    The  Fairy,  Greta  and  TB  Director  come  out  of  the  first  car  and  enter  the  studio  while  waving,  throwing  kisses,  etc,  to  cheering  crowd.    They  enter  the  building.  The  second  junky  car  pulls  up  with  the  Wolf  emerging  and  the  crowd  boos.        

Wolf  turns  and  yells  into  the  crowd,    Wolf:   (Shouts  over  crowd)  You’re  all  wrong.    I  am  not  

BAD!    I  am  really  a  nice  guy!    I  not  bad!  You’re  wrong!    

 But  crowd  continues  to  boo.  

 

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News  C:   The  crowd  is  certainly  not  happy  with  the  wolf.  I’m  sending  this  back  to  you,  Ryan.  The  celebrities  will  be  with  you  shortly.  

 LIVE:    Ryan  Williams:   Thank  you,  Leslie.  We  will  now  go  to  

a  commercial  break.  When  we  come  back,  I  will  be  interviewing  the  Good  Fairy  and  The  Big  Bad  Wolf.  

 (Videotaped  Commercial)  

   BEAT  2  (LIVE)  As  commercial  runs,  newsroom  is  reset  for  interview.  Chairs.  The  newsroom  where  BB  Wolf  and  the  Fairy  are  sitting  with  

Ryan  Williams  in  an  interview.  Makeup  is  powdering  everyone’s  face.  Assistant  offers  drinks  to  each  guest  

 Ryan  Williams:   We  are  with  the  famous  Fairy  and  author  of  those  tales  we  know,  as  well  as  our  parents  and  our  parents’  parents.    Your  Best  News  also  has  BB  Wolf,  better  known  as  the  Big  Bad  Wolf.    He  is  the  one  who  has  asked  for  this  interview.    BB,  why  are  you  here?    Wolf:   I  want  everyone  to  know  that  my  name  is  really  

Bartholomew  Baron  Wolf  not  Big  Bad  Wolf.    (emphasis  on  the  Bs  at  the  beginning  of  each  name)    

 Ryan  Williams:   Wow!  That’s  news  to  me.        Wolf:   As  you  all  know,  I  have  starred  in  many  of  Fairy’s  

Tales.    Ryan  Williams:   Yes,  we  are  aware  of  your  stardom.  

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 Wolf:   (Whining)  But  I  have  been  type  cast.    Fairy:   (Matter  of  fact)  You’re  a  wolf.    Wolf:   It’s  the  same  role  over  and  over.    Fairy:   (bigger,  slower)  You’re  a  wolf.    Wolf:   But  I’m  a  great  actor,  yet  I  play  the  same  character  

each  time.    Fairy:   (Matter  of  fact  emphasizing  each  word)     That’s  because  you’re  a  wolf.    Ryan  Williams:   So  you  feel  that  you’re  always  playing  

the  same  character,  BB?    Wolf:               Just  look  at  this  footage  of  me  with  the  3  pigs.    

VIDEOTAPED:     Cut  to  film  of  Fairy  and  3  pigs.    Pig  1:     I’m  the  first  little  pig.      Pig  2:     I’m  the  second  little  pig.    Pig  3:     And  I’m  the  third  little  pig.    Pigs:     We  are  the  three  little  pigs.    Fairy:     And  how  cute  you  are!  (they  giggle)    Pig  1:   I  built  a  house  out  of  straw.    Pig  2:   I  built  a  house  out  of  sticks.  

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 Pig  3:   I  built  a  house  out  of  bricks.    Pigs:     We  all  have  hair  on  our  chinny  chin  chins!    Pig  1:     And  the  big  bad  wolf…    Pig  2:     went  a  huffin’  and  puffin’    Pig  3:     and  blew  our  houses  down!    Pigs:     Boo  hoo!    He  was  so  mean!!    Fairy:     Oh  you  sweet  innocent  piggies.  (they  giggle)    

BACK  TO  BEAT  2:    Wolf:   There  you  have  it!    I  have  been  made  the  meanie  

who  terrorizes  these  cute  pigs…and  what  do  I  get?  A  burnt  tail!    

 Ryan  Williams:   Wow,  Wolf,  that  must  have  hurt.    Wolf:   Exactly.    And  look  at  The  Boy  Who  Cried  Wolf!    

VIDEOTAPED:  Cut  to  film:    Boy:   (with  sheep  around  him)  I  cried  wolf  once  and  

all  the  village  people  came  running.  But  there  wasn’t  a  wolf!!  Wasn’t  that  funny,  little  sheep?  

 Sheep:   Baaaaaa    Boy:   And  then  I  cried  wolf  again  and  they  all  came  

running  again!  No  wolf  again!    Wasn’t  that  funny  little  sheep?  

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 Sheep:   (a  little  scared)  Baaaa    Boy:   I  really  fooled  them.  That  was  so  much  fun,  right  

sheep?    Sheep:   (Acting  more  scared)  Baaaa.  Baaaa.  Baaaa.    Boy:   What’s  wrong  sheep?    Wolf:   Did  you  call  me?    Boy:   (Sheep  continue  to  Baa  and  run  around)  Help!    

Help!    Wolf!  Help!  There  really  is  a  wolf!    Help!    BACK  TO  BEAT  2    Ryan  Williams:   I  hear  you  ate  the  sheep.  That’s  

pretty  bad.    Wolf:   I  had  to.  It  was  part  of  the  story.  Besides  the  Boy  

called  me  several  times!    What  was  I  supposed  to  do?  Fairy…I  want  a  different  role.    One  that  I  can  sink  my  teeth  into…not  literally,  you  know.    A  role  where  I  can  use  my  superior  acting  skills.  

 Fairy:     You’re  a  wolf.    Wolf:   (begs)  Give  me  chance!    I’m  begging  you.  Let  me  

play  something  other  than  a  meanie!    Please…please…please!    Let  me  be  the  Bartholomew  Baron  my  parents  wanted  me  to  be!  

 Ryan  Williams:   Fairy,  how  do  you  respond  to  BB  

Wolf?    

  14  

Fairy:   Oh,  I  don’t  know,  Ryan  Williams.    I  have  worked  so  hard  on  my  fairy  tales.    I  can’t  imagine  writing  another  one.  I’m  so  tired.  

 Ryan  Williams:   How  about  just  doing  a  bit  of  a  

rewrite?    Maybe  update  one  of  your  tales.    Fairy:     (Offended)  Update?    These  tales  are  classic!    Ryan  Williams:   Well,  we  would  all  agree  that  your  

tales  are  literature.        Wolf:   I  am  not  asking  for  a  lot…just  a  way  for  me  to  

show  my  great  acting  skills.    Fairy:   I  had  a  feeling  this  was  what  you  were  going  to  ask,  

so  I  asked  TB  Director  to  join  me  to  do  this  project…so,  yes…I  have  decided  to  rewrite  one  of  my  tales.  

 Wolf:     Oh…thank  you,  thank  you,  thank  you.    I  won’t  let  

you  down.        Ryan  Williams:   There  you  have  it  folks.    Your  Best  

News  is  the  first  to  report  that  the  Good  Fairy  has  indeed  agreed  to  rewrite  a  fairy  tale  so  that  the  Big  Bad  Wolf  will  have  a  chance  to  act  other  than  bad...and  big.    Fairy,  what  tale  have  you  chosen  to  rewrite?  

 Fairy:     Little  Red  Riding  Hood.    I  never  did  like  the  

original  idea  of  Wolf  eating  sweet  old  Grandma.    After  all,  she  was  sick  and  waiting  for  her  dear  granddaughter.    

 

  15  

Wolf:     Oh,  Good  Fairy,  you  won’t  be  disappointed.    I  am  so  excited  to  star  with  Greta  and  work  for  TB…AND  I  have  some  great  ideas!  

 Fairy:     Well,  we  should  be  able  to  create  a  great  tale.    I  

am  a  bit  concerned  about  Greta  Starr,  though.    She’s  –  what  do  you  call  it?    

 Ryan  Williams:   A  star?    Fairy:   High  maintenance.    But  TB  really  wanted  her,  so  I  

agreed.    She’s  here  to  play  the  role  of  Little  Red  Riding  Hood.  

 Wolf:   I’m  so  excited!    Fairy:   One  thing  though.  We’re  hiring  a  couple  of  Security  

Guards.    Wolf:   What!?    Fairy:   Well,  you  do  have  a  reputation.  Some  of  the  actors  

might  be  afraid  of  you.    Wolf:   I’ll  be  good.  I’m  really  not  big  and  bad.  You’ll  see.    Fairy:   Yeah.  We’ll  see…    Ryan  Williams:   There  you  have  it  ladies  and  

gentlemen;  the  Good  Fairy  and  Greta  Starr  have  arrived  in  Auburn,  Indiana,  along  with  B.B  Wolf  and  the  Best  Director!    This  is  your  Best  News  Ryan  Williams  signing  off.  

 (Picture  in  picture  -­  the  crowd  cheers.  Video  of  end  of  news  

cast.  News  room  empties)  

  16  

 (BEAT  3)    Lights  come  up  on  stage  with  entrance  of  TB  Director  and  

Security  Guards  (SG  1  and  SG  2).  Director  is  carrying  a  clipboard    

Director:   (to  Guards)  You  stay  at  the  edges  of  the  stage.  I  don’t  expect  any  problems.  But  some  of  the  actors  are  afraid  of  the  wolf.  

 SG  1:   No  problem.  We’ll  be  on  high  alert.    SG  2:   Just  let  us  know  if  you  need  us.  We’re  at  the  ready.    Director:   Right.  (skeptical)      

Enter  Fairy    

Fairy:   Oh  great.  The  guards  are  here.  Watch  for  any  sudden  moves.  The  wolf  can  be  sneaky.  

 SG  2:   We  got  it  covered  ma’am.  I’m  used  to  sudden  

moves.  I  have  a  kindergarten  sister.    Director:   (Skeptical  again)  Right!  (Change  of  attitude)  

Well  Good  Fairy.    I  think  we’re  ready  for  this.    Fairy:     Auditions  went  well,  don’t  you  think?    Director:   Yeah…I’m  happy.  Greta  Starr  will  be  perfect.    Fairy:   She  won’t  be  a  problem,  right?    She  does  have  a  

reputation,  you  know.    

  17  

Director:   Her  name  alone  will  bring  in  audiences.    She  is  a  Starr.  

 Fairy:   I  just  don’t  want  any  problems.  Guards,  you  

keep  an  eye  on  her  too!    SG  1:   No  problem.  We  won’t  allow  any  riff  raff.    Director:   Don’t  worry  Fairy.  She’ll  be  fine.    Fairy:     So,  are  we  ready?    Director:   (Checking  clipboard)  Yep…I  have  costumes  

being  made…Stage  Manager  is  on  board…the  cast…a  crew  to  build  the  set.  Let’s  do  it!    Crew,  set  the  stage  for  scene  one.  Cast!  Places!  

 Stage  Manager:   (Enters)  Director.  This  is  supposed  to  

be  a  forest  right?    Director:   (Consulting  with  Fairy.  Looks  up  from  

clipboard)  Right.  Bring  out  some  trees.    Stage  M:   We  don’t  have  anything  back  there  but  trees  

from  Nutcracker.    Director:   That  will  do  for  now.  (Goes  back  to  consulting  

with  Fairy)    Stage  M:   (Yells  backstage)  Bring  out  Nutcracker  trees!  

(Crew  and  available  cast  bring  out  white  trees  in  buckets)  Where  do  you  want  them?  (Pause)  Director?!  

 Director:   (Looks  up  from  clipboard)  What?  (Sees  the  

trees)  Just  put  them  around  the  stage.  We  will  

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move  them  where  we  need  them  later.  (Continues  with  Fairy)  

 Stage  M:   You  heard  him.  (Crew  just  drops  trees  where  

they  are  standing  and  walk  off  stage)    Crew  1:   (Enters  with  Crew  2  bringing  house  and  stops  R  

of  center  stage)  Is  this  where  you  want  the  house?  

 Director:     (Looks  up)  Take  it  a  little  more  stage  right.  

(Back  with  Fairy)    Crew  1:   (moving  it  L)  Like  this?    Director:     (Turns)  Um…no…more  stage  right.    Crew  1:   (moves  it  more  to  L)  How’s  this?    Director:     Stage  right!  Stage  right!  (A  little  moving  

dance  transpires  between  them  until  it  is  in  the  right  spot  –  we  will  add  dialog  as  we  block  this)  

 Fairy:   (after  set  piece  is  in  place)  I  hope  this  isn’t  an  

indication  how  the  rest  of  the  play  will  go.    Director:   No,  no…don’t  worry  Fairy.  Everything  should  

run  smoothly!    Crew  2:   Hey,  Director!  Should  we  just  hold  this?  It  will  

fall  down  if  we  let  go!  (Let’s  go  and  catches  it)    Director:   Yes,  hold  it!  This  is  just  a  rehearsal.    Crew  2:   Got  it.  

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Mother  and  Greta  take  places  behind  house.  Director  takes  place  on  tall  Director’s  chair  on  the  floor  stage  L.    Fairy  stands  on  stage  C  L  overlooking  cast.    

 Fairy:     Let’s  start  the  story  just  like  the  original.    It’s  so  

sweet.    Mom  is  packing  a  darling  picnic  basket  for  Little  Red  Riding  Hood  to  take  to  her  ailing  Granny.    

 Mother:   (yelling)  We  can’t  come  out.  The  door  won’t  

open!    Crew  2:   The  door  is  just  painted  on.    Director:   Go  around  the  set.  The  audience  will  buy  it.    Crew  1:   (To  Director)  I  can  cut  it  out  if  you  want.    Director:   It’s  fine.  It’s  fine.  Start  at  top  again.  Please.  

(Consults  with  Fairy  as  Crew  1  and  Crew  2  start  to  take  set  piece  off  revealing  Mother  and  Greta  standing  behind)    

 Fairy:     (To  Director)  This  is  sort  of  a  rough  start.    Director:   This  is  actually  typical.  (Noticing  set  moved  

right)  Where  are  you  going?!    Crew  2:   You  said  to  start  over.    Director:   Don’t  take  off  the  set…start  with  Mother’s  

entrance!    Fairy:     I’m  starting  to  get  irritated,  Director.    Director:   It’s  going  to  be  just  fine.  Mother…start  with  

your  line…it  will  be  chilly….  

  20  

 Mother:   (Now  in  front.  Clears  throat  to  get  into  

character)  It  will  be  chilly  in  the  woods,  Little  Red  Riding…  

 Wolf:     (Interrupts;  enters  striking  a  regal  pose)  When  

do  I  enter?    Mother:   Yikes!  It’s  the  wolf!    SG  1:   (Heading  towards  Mother)  I’ll  protect  you!    Wolf:     What?    Fairy:     It’s  OK  Guard.    SG  1:     Yes,  ma’am.    Fairy:     Wolf,  not  yet…patience,  please!    Wolf:     But...    SG  2:     Sure  you  don’t  need  us  ma’am?    Fairy:     (Hotly)  No…  (Calmer)  no.  It’s  fine.  (To  guard)  Go  

back  to  your  place.    (To  wolf)  Wolf,  you’re  not  on  yet.  Check  your  script.  

 Wolf:     Sorry.  (Exits)    Mother:   Should  I  continue?    Director:   From  the  top…    Crew  1:   (With  Crew)  Want  us  to  reset  the  scene?    

  21  

Director/Fairy:   No!    Director:   (A  bit  flustered)  Everything’s  perfect!  Mother,  

take  it  from  your  line.    Mother:   (Clears  throat  again)  It  will  be  chilly  in  the  

woods  today,  Little  Red.    You  had  better  wear  your  ...  

 Wolf:   (Enters  again,  Mother  screams  again)  Wouldn’t  

it  be  cool  if  I  ran  through  at  the  beginning.  Sort  of  like,  foreshadowing?    A  hint  of  what’s  to  come…  

 SG  1:     (Charging  towards  wolf)  I  got  this!  (Wolf  yelps)    Fairy:     Guard!    No!!    Wolf!    Not  now!    Greta:     Who  does  he  think  he  is?    I  am  the  star  here.    SG  2:     We’re  right  here,  if  you  need  us!    Director:   I  know!    We’re  fine.  (Overly  sweet,  crosses  to  

Greta)  Greta,  Greta,  Greta.    (Firmly)  Wolf,  you’re  not  on  yet.      

 Fairy:     I  knew  this  was  not  a  good  idea.    Director:   Everything’s  fine,  Fairy.    Places!    Let’s  start  

again…Wolf…go  to  the  bathroom  or  something…your  scene  doesn’t  happen  for  a  while.    Crew,  keep  holding  the  set.  (Shouts)  Let’s  move  this!  

 Mother:   Should  I  say  my  line  again?    

  22  

Fairy  &  Director:   YES!    Mother:   (Clears  throat  with  impatience)  It  will  be  chilly  

in  the  woods  today,  Little  Red.    You  had  better  wear  your  (realizes  she  doesn’t  have  it)…riding…  hood.  (Mother  looks  for  cape.  Crew  2  hands  Mother  the  cape  who  holds  it  out  to  Greta)  

 Greta:   Oh,  Mother.    You  always  make  me  wear  that  

silly  cape.    Can  I  wear  something  with  a  little  more  style?  

 Mother:   (Surprised/confused)  What?    Fairy:     You’re  Little  Red  Riding  Hood…wear  the  cape!    Greta:   (to  Fairy)  I’m  not  wearing  that!    It’s  red!    It  will  

make  my  complexion  look…ruddy.    Fairy:   (Irritated)  You’re  Red  Riding  Hood…that’s  what  

you  wear!      Greta:     Not  if  you  want  me  to  play  this  role…(folds  

arms,  puts  foot  down)  NEVER!    Director:   Greta,  Greta,  Greta…this  is  RED  Riding  Hood.    

You  knew  that  when  you  signed  up.    Greta:     I  will  not  wearing  that!    Fairy:     I  GIVE  UP!    Director:   (Intervening)  Now,  Fairy,  I  think  we  can  

compromise.    Wardrobe!    Wardrobe!    Stage  M:   You  want  Wardrobe?  

  23  

 Director:   Yes.  Tell  her  to  come  out  here.    Stage  M:   (Runs  off  Left)  Wardrobe!  You’re  needed!  

(Enters  dragging  her  in)  the  Director  wants  to  see  you.  

 Wardrobe:   (To  Director)  You  called  me?    (sees  audience)  

I’m  on  stage!    Director:   Little  Red  needs  a  different  cape.  Bring  your  

collection  of  outerwear.    Greta:     Do  you  have  something  in  blue?    Wardrobe:   Little  Red  Riding  Hood  is  not  wearing  red?    Director:     Just  help  me  out  here.    Wardrobe:   OK.  You’re  the  director.  (Exits)    Mother:   (Holding  up  cape)  What  do  I  do  with  this?    Director:   I  don’t  know.  Just…just  put  it  somewhere.    Mother:   OK.  (She  gives  Greta  a  disgusted  look  and  drops  it  

on  the  floor.  Crew  2  reaches  for  it,  almost  dropping  set)  

 Wardrobe  enters  with  a  HUGE  stack  of  garments  

 Fairy:   I  want  to  know,  who’s  doing  the  rewrites  here?    Director:   Don’t  worry,  Fairy.  I’ve  got  this.  Oh  look,  here’s  

Wardrobe  now!    

  24  

Greta:   (Excitedly)  Oh  look  at  all  of  these  choices!  (clawing  through  coats  over  Wardrobe’s  arm)  Oooo…this  one  is  tacky.    Yuck.    No…no…not  this  one…what’s  this?    (she  pulls  out  the  black  polka  dot  swing  coat  and  puts  it  on)    OOOOoooo  I  like  this  one.  

 Mother:   (Questioningly)  It’s  got  big  black  polka  dots.    Wardrobe:   So  is  this  it?    Director:   Fairy?  (She  shrugs  in  disbelief)  Greta?    Greta:     I  love  it!    Look  how  it  twirls  (turns  a  circle)    SG  2:     That  is  mighty  nice,  Ms.  Starr.    Greta:     Thanks!    Wardrobe:   So  Little  Red  Riding  Hood  is  now  “Little  

Black  Polka  Dot  Swing  Coat  Without  a  Hood”?    Fairy:   (Slightly   irritated)   I   don’t   know.  We’ll   just   call  

her…ah…  “Little”.    Greta:   (Whining)  No!    I  don’t  want  to  be  little!    Fairy:   (Irritated)   OK…ok…we’ll   call   her   (searches   for  

words)  “Little  Dot  No  Hood”.    Wardrobe:   Am  I  done  here?    Director:     Yes.   Thanks,  Wardrobe.   (She   picks   up   coats  

and   exits)   What   did   I   sign   up   for?   I   can’t  believe  I  was  actually  on  stage….  

 

  25  

Director:   Places!    Places  everyone!  (To  Mother)    Pick  it  up  at  the  beginning…”It  will  be  chilly  in  the  woods”…and  so  on…but  better  change  the  words  “riding  hood”  to…(Looks  at  coat)  whatever…(crosses)  

 (BEAT  4)    Mother:   OK.   (Put   off   a   bit-­finds   character,   clears   throat,  

straightens   up)   It   will   be   chilly   in   the   woods  today,  Little  Red…um…Little  Dot,  you  had  better  wear  your…ah…polka  dot  swing  coat.  

 Greta:   I’ve  already  got  it  on,  Mother.    See  how  it  twirls?  

(She  spins)      Mother:   Uh…yeah.     (Big   pause   and   exhale.   Turns   to   get  

basket  from  Crew)  Here  is  the  picnic  basket  that  I  have  prepared  for  your  dear,  ailing  Granny.  

 Greta:   (Excitedly)  Ooooo.  What’s  in  here?    (She  lifts  lid)  

Oh  my!   It’s  plastic   food.    This  won’t  work.    We  need  better  stuff.    (Yells)  Props?    

 Mother:   (Astonished)  What!?   (Fairy   shakes   her   head   in  

disbelief.  Director’s   jaw  drops.  We  hear  Stage  M  calling  backstage  for  Props)  

 Fairy:   Now  what!?    Director:   I  don’t...    SG  1:   Need  me?    Fairy/Director:     NO!  (SG  mouths  OK  and  moves  back)    

  26  

Props: (peeking around set) You called me? Can I come onto the stage?

Greta:   I   can’t   take   plastic   food   to   my   sick  

grandma…she  needs  good  stuff  to  eat.    Props:   But   it’s   just   a   prop.   Granny   won’t   really   eat  

this…    Greta:   (Whining   and   jumping)   I   don’t   want   plastic  

food!   (Changes   tune   abruptly)  Oooo…I   like   the  way  this  coat  moves.    (Swishes  back  and  forth)  

 Props:   (Exits  calling)  Chef!    Chef!    Mother:   (Confused  and  irritated)  What  is  going  on  here?    

Can  Mother  have  a  chair?      Fairy:   (grabs  stool  from  SG  who  falls  on  floor  takes  it  to  

Mother   while   mumbling   next   lines)   Why   did   I  agree  to  do  this?    I  do  better  writing  all  alone  in  my   quiet   little   room…(Continues   muttering   at  the  entrance  of  Chef  and  Props)  

 Chef:   Well,   well,   well.   Let   me   take   a   look.     (takes   a  

piece  of  plastic  food  and  takes  a  bite)    This  stuff  is  awful.    Did  I  really  make  this?  

 Props:   They’re  props,  Chef.        Chef:   (To   offstage)   Cook!   Cook!   Come   here   with   our  

menu!    Props:   I’ll  get  the  Cook.  (Exits.  We  hear  offstage  calling)    

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Greta:   I   would   love   to   take   some   great   food   to   my  ailing  Granny.    Can  it  be  vegetarian?  

 Chef:   Can’t  have  a  meal  without  meat,  young  lady.    Greta:   Please,  please,  please,  please  Mr.  Chef?    Chef:   Oh,  all  right.  What  happened  to  your  red  cape?    Greta:   This  one’s  better!    Look…it  twirls!    Chef:   Ooooo,  that’s  fantastico,  Little  Red.      Greta:   I’m  Little  Dot  now.    Chef:   Oh!…OK  Little  Dot-­‐now.      Greta:   No,   no,   no…I’m   no   longer   Little   Red,   I’m   Little  

Dot  now.    Chef:   (Confused)  Right,  Little  Dot-­‐now.      Props:   (Enters  with  Cook)  Here’s  the  Cook.    Chef:   (Sees   Cook)   Ah,   look!   Here’s   the   cook.     (Cook  

enters  with  dishes  of  food.  Props  can  help)      Cook:   I  brought  what  we  had  in  the  fridge,  Chef.    Chef:   Great,   Cook.     Let’s   see…we   have   a   delicious  

vegetarian  lasagna.    One  of  my  favorites!  (Greta  is   excited   after   each   item   is   introduced.   Props  takes  each  dish  and  tries  to  put  in  basket)  

 

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Cook:   Oh,  so  we’re  doing  vegetarian.  Well  then,  here’s  an   arugula   salad   with   a   tangy   lemon   zest  dressing!  

 Chef:   Perfecto.  What  do  you  think  Little  Dot-­‐now?    Greta:   Oooo…sounds  luscious!    Cook:   Oh,   and   freshly   baked   French   bread.   Specially  

made  by  our  resident  baker!    Chef:   And  we  have  green  beans  with  pearl  onions  and  

a  fine  corn  casserole.  (basket  gets  overloaded)    Greta:   This  is  perfect,  thanks.  (Picks  up  basket  –  things  

spill   out   and   Props   tries   to   rearrange)    Oooo…this  is  way  too  heavy.    What  should  I  do,  Mom?    

 Mother:   Ask  the  Director.        Greta:   Director?  (Everyone  looks  at  Director)    Director:   Let  me  think.    Fairy:   This  is  ridiculous!    Cook:   Oh…and  don’t  forget  the  apple  cheesecake.    Greta:   Granny  will  really  be  surprised.    Mother:   Surprised   is  an  understatement.    (standing  and  

looking  at  Fairy)  Isn’t  this  a  fairy  tale?    Fairy:   I  have  lost  control  here.    

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Director:   We  need  a  bigger  basket.    Props:   We  don’t  have  a  bigger  basket.    Stage  Manager!    

Can  you   find   something  back   there   to   carry  all  of  this  food?  

 Stage  M:   (Enters)  You’re  Props.  Isn’t  that  your  job?    Props:   (Holding  up  dishes)  I’m  a  little  busy  here.    Stage  M:   I’m  on  it.  (Runs  off  speaking  into  head  set,  “Find  

something  back  there  to  carry  this  food.”)    Fairy:   Do   we   have   to   do   this?  We   need   to   move   on!  

(Fairy  and  Director  are  in  a  huddled  discussion)    Stage  M:   (bringing  in  a  big  box)  How’s  this?      Props:   That’s  perfect.    (Props  takes  stuff  from  the  basket  

and  puts   it   in  the  box.  Stage  M  helps  and  ad  libs  lines  trying  to  fit  things  in)  This  OK  Fairy?    

 Fairy:   (Looks  up  from  discussion)  What?    Props:   Is  this  OK?    Fairy:   I   really  don’t  care.  We   just  need  to  get  on  with  

the  story…PLEASE!        Props:   Here  you  go,  Red.  (lifts  “Heavy”  box)    Chef:   That’s  Little  Dot-­‐now.    Props:   Here   ya’   go,   Little   Dot-­‐now.   (thrusts   box   into  

Dot’s  arms)    

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Greta:   It’s  heavy!  (Whines)  I  can’t  see!    Props:   (takes  box)  She  will  need  help.        Stage  M:   Stage  Crew.  You’re  on.  (Goes  offstage)    StageCrew:   Wait   a   minute.     I   can’t   be   on…(she   sees  

audience   and   eyes   widen)   stage.     There’s   an  audience  out  there.  

 StageM:   Don’t   pay   attention   to   them.     You’re   the   only  

one  I  can  sacrifice.        StageCrew:   But  I  have  backstage  duties…moving  the  set  

in  scene  2…doing  sound  effects  in  scene  3…cue  the  actors  for  …  

 Props:   (Interrupting  and  firm)  I’ve  got  work  to  do.  You  

need   to   lug   around   this…box   of   goodies   for  Little   Red.   (Shoves   box   in   StageCrews   arms.  Starts  to  Exit)  

 Greta:   That’s  Little  Dot  No  Hood.    Props:   (Turns  back)  I  mean  Little  Dot.    StageCrew:   (Yelling  from  behind  box)  Nice  coat.    Greta:   I  know…look  it  twirls…    StageCrew:   (Tips  box  to  try  to  look)  I  can’t  really  see  it.    Chef:   Don’t  tip  the  box…the  sauce  will  run.    Mother:   (shouting   and   waving   from   behind   the   group)  

Shouldn’t  that  be  my  line?  

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 Fairy:   Just  get  on  with  the  story…NOW!    Mother:   (elbowing  her  way   into   the   scene)  Be  careful   in  

the   woods,   Little   Red…I   mean,   Dot.     And  remember…don’t   talk   to   anyone   strange.    (muttering   but   heard)   Even   though   everyone  here  is  strange…this  whole  story  is  strange.  

 (BEAT  5)    Greta:   Goodbye  Mother.    Bye  Chef  and  Cook.    Bye  Stage  

Manager.     Bye  Crew  people   holding   the   house.  Bye  Security  Guards.  (They  wave  at  her)  I  will  be  very  careful  in  the  woods  all  by  myself…and  this  Crew   person   (pats   the   box,   then   starts   to  skip)…on  my  way   to   Granny’s   house.   (They   all  exit   as   Alex   and   Kent   enter   upstage   bringing   in  some   2x4s,   tools   etc.   Greta   looks   at   Director)  How  do  I  get  to  Grandma’s  house?    

 Director:   Just   skip   and   walk   around   the   trees.   We’ll   be  

working  on  the  set  make  a  distinct  pathway.      Greta:   OK.  (Clears  throat  and  gets  into  character)  I  am  

on  my  way   to   granny’s   house.   I’m  wearing  my  (Drill   on)   beautiful   Polka   Dot   (Alex’s   drill   off)  Swing   coat.   (Greta   stops   and   StageCrew   bumps  her.  She   turns   to  StageCrew  seeming   to  yell  and  we   only   hear   the   first   word   and   the   end   of   her  line  because  drill  starts  and  stops)  What…(fill   in  mimed  words  as  drill  goes)  are  you  doing?  Don’t  bump  me!  

 StageCrew:   Sorry.      

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As  the  following  commotion  is  happening,  Wolf  enters  again  and  goes  to  Director.  They  are  in  a  heated  conversation    

 Fairy:   (Aghast!)   Greta!   Those   lines   are   not   in   the  

script!      Greta:   (Walking   to  and   yelling  at  Fairy)   I   can’t   (Drill   -­  

believe  he’s  making-­  Drill   stops)  so  much  noise.  Do   they   have   to   (Drill   again   with   mimed  words)…while  I  am  saying  my  lines?  

 Wolf:   I’m  not  feeling  this.    Director:   You’re  not  on  yet.    Greta:   (Turns   and   starts   towards   Alex.)  What   are   you  

doing?!   (Turns   to   StageCrew)   don’t   follow   me!  (she  walks   back   to   Alex   as   Kent   starts   saw.  Her  arms  waving  as  she  seems  to  be  yelling)    

 Director:   (To   Wolf.   Shouting   over   noise)   Listen!   You’re  

entrance   is  coming  soon.  Find  something   to  do  (Saw   stops   but   Director’s   line   is   still   loud)  backstage!  OK!??  

 Wolf:   (Walks   off   saying   lines)   OK,   ok…it’s   just   that   I  

have  so  much  to  give.      Fairy:   (To  Director)  Do  they  have   to  be  building  right  

now?  Greta  is  out-­‐of-­‐control-­‐angry!  And  frankly,  I  am…  

 Director:   (Yells   to   set   builders   as   tools   start)   Kent…Alex!  

(Tools   stop   and   he   yells   “Kent,   Alex!”   as   noise  starts  again.  He  runs  up  on  edge  of  stage.  When  tools  stop  again  he  hurriedly  yells  Kent  Alex  and  

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they   look   up)   You   will   have   to   do   your   power  tools   later.   We   are   trying   to   run   a   rehearsal!  (Crosses  back  down  to  chair)  

 Alex/Kent:   Sorry.  (Kent  picks  up  2x4  swinging  it  around  

as   Greta   walks   to   the   front   of   the   stage.   Fairy  grabs  her  so  she  is  not  hit)  

 Greta:   What  are  you  doing?!  Don’t  shove  me  around!    Fairy:   Well,   you   were   about   to   get…never  mind.   Can  

we  get  on  with  this?!    Wolf:   (Poking  in  head)  Yeah,  right!    Director:   OFF!    Wolf:   You   got   it…I’m   feeling   (does   quote   mime)  

“bathroom”  right  now!    Greta:   Where  was  I?    Director:   (Looking  at  notes.)  You’re  prancing  through  the  

woods  on  the  way  to  Granny’s  house.    Fairy:   (Sarcastically)   Being   followed   by   this   crew  

person,   here,   carrying   your   gourmet   stash   of  goodies.  

 Greta:     That’s  right.  (Clears  throat  to  get  into  character  

again)   I’m   on   may   way   to   granny’s   house.  Picking   up   these   breadcrumbs   and   throwing  them   deep   into   the   woods.     Skipping   happily  through   the   deep   dark   forest…throwing  breadcrumbs   off   the   path.   Not   talking   to   any  strangers…throwing   all   these   bread  

  34  

crumbs…just   minding  my   business…boy,   there  are  a  lot  of  breadcrumbs.  Good  thing  I  got  rid  of  them.  Now  the  path  looks  so  nice  and  clean…  

 StageCrew:   I  am  getting  tired.    Greta:   (Stops)   You’re   not   here.   Remember!  

Ohhh…who’s   this   on   the   pathway?   (Enter  Gretel)  

 BEAT  6    Gretel:   Hi  I’m  Gretel.    Greta:   (Annoyed)   Fairy.   Is   she   supposed   to   be   in   this  

play?    Fairy:   Just  go  with  it  Red.      Greta:   Dot.    Fairy:   (Pauses   to   gather   patience)   It’s   another   fairy  

tale  that  needs  a  new  ending.  Where’s  Hansel?    Gretel:   He  didn’t  show  up.    Director:   Great.  Just  great!      Greta  and  Fairy:   This  is  ridiculous!    Fairy:   (To   Greta)   Well,   at   least   we   can   agree   on  

something.    Director:   I’ve  got  this,  ladies.  Where’s  the  understudy  for  

Hansel?    

  35  

Stage  M:   (Heard   from   backstage)   Hansel   understudy,  you’re  on.  

 Understudy:   Oh  wow!  This  is  great.  But  I  need  a  script.    Director:   Stage  Manager!  We  need  a  script!    Stage  M:   (Enters   thumbing   through   script)   Got   it.   What  

page  are  we  on?      Director:   Um.  34.  All  right.  Let’s  take  it  with  the  entrance  

of  Hansel  and  Gretel.    Greta:   I’m  still  the  star,  right?!    Fairy:   You’re  gonna  see  stars  if  you  don’t  go  on!    Director:   Little   Red,   I   mean   Dot,   keep   going.   Pick   it   up  

where  you  see  2  kids  on  the  pathway.    Greta:   OK,  ok…(Snotty)  Who  are  you?      Fairy:   BE  NICE!    Greta:   OK!   (Clears   throat   and   speaks   all   too   sweetly)  

Who  are  you  sweet  little  children  on  (Rude)  MY  path?!  

 Understudy:   I’m  Hansel.    Gretel:   And   I’m  Gretel.   (to  Hansel)  You’re   supposed   to  

stand   on   the   other   side   of   me.   (Switch   places  and  Greta  is  perturbed)    

 Greta:   And  why  are  you  in  my  fairy  tale?    

  36  

Gretel:   Your   Fairy   Tale?   Haven’t   you   heard   of   us?  Hansel  and  Gretel?  

 Greta:   No.  I’m  the  star  here.  I’m  Greta  Starr.    Understudy:   Nice  to  meet  you.    Greta:   Do  you  want  my  autograph?    Understudy:   Why?    Greta:   Why?  Why?  Because  I  am  the  most  famous  star!      Gretel:   Then  why  are  you  in  the  deep  dark  forest?  Are  

you  lost?    Hansel:   (Enters   eating   gingerbread   cookie)   Sorry   I’m  

late.  I  found  this  huge  gingerbread  house  on  my  way  to  rehearsal  and  stopped  to  take  a  bite  of  it.  

 Gretel:   Hansel,  you  just  ruined  our  story.    Hansel:   What?    Gretel:   We  are  supposed  to  find  that  house  together.    Hansel:   I’m  not  sure  I  can  find  it  again  anyway.  I  came  to  

rehearsal  a  different  way,  you  see…    Director:   We  need   to   get   on  with   the   story.  Understudy,  

you’re  not  needed  now.      Understudy:   Aw…gee!  (Disappointed  and  exits)      Director:   Hansel,   Greta   is   about   to   explain   that   she’s   on  

the  way  to  Granny’s  house.  Gretel,  you  give  the  

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cue   line   “then   why   are   you   in   the   deep   dark  forest.”  Let’s  pick  it  up  from  there.  

 Gretel:   Then  why  are  you  in  the  deep  dark  forest?  Are  

you  lost?    Greta:   No.  I’m  on  my  way  to  my  Granny’s…actually  I’m  

pretending   to   be   on  my  way   to  Granny’s.   I   am  actually   playing   the   role   of   Little   Red   Riding  Hood.  

 Hansel:   (Attitude)   I   don’t   think   so.   Where’s   your   red  

cape?    Greta:   I  chose  this  to  wear.  Isn’t  it  lovely?  Look  how  it  

twirls.    H  &  G:   (Impressed)  Nice.    Gretel:   Listen.   We   know   Little   Red   and   she   always  

wears  her  red  cape.    Greta:   But   I’m   playing   the   role   for   this   production  

today.  I  don’t  really  like  the  color  red  to  wear.    Hansel:   Then   you’re   not   Little   Red   Riding   Hood.  

(Looking   at   ground)   Hey!   Where’s   our   bread  crumbs?  

 Greta:   You  mean  the  ones  I  saw  all  along  the  pathway?    H  &  G:   Yes!    Gretel:   We  need  them  to  find  our  way  home!    Greta:   I  threw  them  into  the  woods.  

  38  

 H  &  G:   What!!    Hansel:   We’ll   NEVER   find   our   way   home   now!   (Gretel  

begins  crying.  Hansel  moans)    Greta:   Stop  this!  I  can’t  stand  crying!  STOP!    Gretel:   But  we  are  forever  lost!    Greta:   No  you’re  not!   Just   follow   the  path   (looks   back  

and  forth  and  then  chooses)  that  way.   Just  keep  going.  You’ll  find  your  way  home.  

 Hansel:   Are  you  sure.    Greta:   Ummm…yeah.    Gretel:   Thanks  famous  actor!    Hansel:   Yes.  Thank  you!  Come  on  Gretel.  Let’s  see  if  we  

can  pick  up  that  breadcrumb  trail.    Greta:   (waves  as  they  exit)  Keep  going!  You’ll  find  those  

crumbs!   Keep   going!   (Nasty)   Actually   I   threw  them   all   off   the   path.   But   at   least   they’re   gone  and   I  can  continue.   (Happily)  Skipping  along   in  the  deep  dark  forest.  Minding  my  own  business.  Not   talking   to   strangers…just   walking   and  walking   and   walking…(To   Director/Fairy   with  impatience)  When  am  I  supposed  to  meet  Wolf?  

 Director:   Wolf!  (waits  a  beat)  Where’s  Wolf?    Fairy:   Wolf!    Bartholomew  Baron!        

  39  

Director:   Stage  Manager!    Where’s  Wolf?    Stage  M:   (steps   onto   stage)   Sorry,   we   can’t   find   him.     I  

sent   someone   searching.     Sorry!   (Into   headset  exiting)   Find   Wolf!   (we   hear   offstage   people  calling  for  Wolf)  

 Greta:   This  makes  me  look  so  bad.    StageCrew:   Can  I  put  this  box  down?    Greta:   NO!    Fairy:   Wolf’s   debut   and   he’s   missing…I   knew   I  

shouldn’t  have  signed  on  to  do  this…    Wolf:   (Enters   through   audience)   I’m   sorry.     Did   you  

call  me?    I  went  to  the  bathroom  like  you  said.    Props:   (Walks   in)   Director!   Do   we   have   a   plunger  

anywhere?    Director:   Check  the  closet  next  to  the  bathrooms.    Fairy:   I   can’t   believe   this!   (Angry)  Wolf!   Get   up   here!  

Let’s   get   on   with   this   show…here’s  Little…what’s  your  name  now?  

 Greta:   (Meekly)  Little  Dot  No  Hood.    Fairy:   (To  Wolf)  Little  Dot  No  Good.    Greta:   (Correcting)  That’s  No  Hood.    Fairy:   (Voce   Sotto   to   Greta)  That’s  what   I   said…Little  

Dot  No  Good.  

  40  

 Greta:   (Mouths  and  rolls  eyes)  O..K..    Fairy:   She’s   in   the   deep   dark   forest   alone,   except   for  

the   part   of   the   StageCrew   (Crew   tries   to  wave)  …and   she’s   going   to   her   sick   Grandmother’s  house   with   a   huge   box   of   food   specially  prepared   by   our   own   chef.     Now   let’s   get   on  with  this!  (She  huffs  back  to  side  stage)    

 Wolf:   (Gets  on  his  knees   “Romeo”   style)  Where   for  art  

thou  going,  Little  Dot  No  Hood?    Fairy:   (Turns.   Still   angry)   Play   it   straight…you’re   a  

wolf!    Wolf:   (Stands)   But   I’m   an   actor…I   want   to   use   my  

talents.    Fairy:   YOU’RE    A    WOLF!    Wolf:   (Under   breath)  Geesh,  who   died   and  made   her  

queen?    Fairy:   What’s  that?    Wolf:   (loud)  I  said…wait  till  you  see  this  scene.    Fairy:   We  are  waiting!    Wolf:   (Clears   throat.  Not  convincing)  Gur-­‐rowl.    What  

are  you  taking  in  that  humongous  box?    Greta:   I   have   selected   a   fine   vegetarian   meal   for  

Granny.    

  41  

Wolf:   (Sudden   interest)   OH!   May   I   partake   of   a  sample?  

 Greta:   NO!   (StageCrew   jumps   almost   dropping   box)  

These  are  made  for  my  Granny  who  lives  across  the  forest.    I  am  on  my  way  there  now.    Do  you  know  the  shortest  way  to  get  there,  Mr.  Wolf?  

 Wolf:   Yes,  indeed,  I  do,  Little  Dot  No  Hood.    Go  left  out  

of  the  parking  lot.  Then  turn  right  on  14th  Street  then  take  another  right  onto…  

 Fairy:   (Interrupts.  Impatient)  You’re  in  the  woods!    Wolf:   (Complying)  Follow   this  path  and  when   it   tees,  

veer   to   the   right.     You   can’t  miss   it.  Good   bye  Little   Dot…be   careful   of   strangers!   (To  audience)  While  she  is  going  the  long  way,  I  will  take   the   shortcut   and   beat   her   to   Granny’s  house.   I  want   to   eat   those   goodies   in   that   box.  (He  does  a  skip  hop  and  exits)  

 INTERMISSION  

 (BEAT  7)  newsroom  and  stage  live  feeds  

 Breaking  News  video.  Lights  up  on  the  Newsroom  

News  Director  and  crew  in  place.  Ryan  Williams  is  at  the  desk.  Activity  is  happening  on  stage  as  stage  crew  people  are  moving  around,  someone  could  be  painting,  set  pieces  carried  across.  Leslie  Halt  is  standing  downstage  with  the  Director  in  conversation  while  activity  goes  on  all  around.  In  the  news  room,  Makeup  is  applying  powder,  Assistant  is  shuffling  papers,  Director  and  News  Crew  are  in  discussion.  

We  may  add  lines  as  we  develop  this.    

  42  

News  Director:   We’re  on  in  4  minutes.    News  Crew:     (shouts)  On  in  4!    

News  Crew  scurries.  Add  things  to  do  here.    

News  Director:   We’re  on  in  10,  9,  8,  7,  6  (Mimes  5  through  1  and  points  to  Ryan.  We  see  Leslie  receive  message  from  her  camera  person  that  she’s  on  soon.  Lights  come  up  on  her)  

 Ryan  Williams:   We  have  breaking  news  that  the  

rewritten  fairy  tale  is  well  under  way  with  the  Good  Fairy  and  Excelsior  Arts  Academy.  Reports  indicate  that  the  rewrite  is  going  well.  Our  very  own  News  Leslie  Halt  is  at  the  rehearsal  where  the  cast  is  taking  a  break.  Let’s  go  live  and  get  an  update.    

 News  C:   (Onstage  with  TB  Director.  Chaos  is  happening  in  

the  background  as  he  is  being  interviewed.  We  will  add  more  during  rehearsals)  Thank  you  Ryan  Williams.  I  am  here  with  TB  Director  who  is  overseeing  the  rewrites.  So  TB,  how  are  things  going?  

 Director:   Fabulously!  Just  as  I  expected.    News  C:   Is  Greta  living  up  to  your  expectations?    Director:   Most  definitely.  She  is  so  wonderful.  Kind  and  

cooperative.  (Director  is  distracted  by  Stage  Manager  who  has  a  clipboard  and  consults  with  Director  as  Greta  walks  through  followed  by    Wardrobe  who  is  holding  out  shoes  for  her.  She  is  yelling  “I’m  not  gonna  wear  those.  No  way.  I  

  43  

want  Gucci.”  Wardrobe  pleas,  “But  this  is  a  play”  Director  waves  off  Stage  M  and  attention  back  to  Leslie  Halt)  Sorry.  Where  was  I?  Oh,  Greta…she’s  so  easy  to  work  with.  She’s  perfect  for  this  rewrite.  

 News  C:   And  what  about  the  Wolf?  Any  problems?    Director:   (Not  convinced)  Not  really.  (Wolf  crosses  with  

Security  Guards  at  his  back.  He  keeps  trying  to  get  away  from  them)  But  I’m  glad  Fairy  insisted  on  the  security  guards.  He’s…oh  look.  There  he  is  now!  

 News  C:   BB  Wolf!  Can  I  have  a  word  with  you?    Director:   I  have  to  go  anyway  and  get  ready  for  ACT  2.  

(To  camera)  Make  sure  you  come  to  see  the  show.    

 Wolf:   Hello!  It’s  such  a  pleasure  to  be  on  television  as  

ME.  (Guards  are  right  behind  him,  menacingly)    News  C:   Well,  BB  Wolf.  Have  you  been  able  to  redeem  

yourself  in  the  show?    Wolf:   Not  really.  I’ve  hardly  had  any  lines.    Fairy  just  

won’t  give  me  a  chance.    News  C:   So  you’re  not  happy  with  the  show?    Wolf:   I  think  ACT  2  features  me,  so  perhaps  I  can  

show  my  skills  then.  (Referring  to  Security  Guards)  Especially  if  these  goons  will  back  off.  (To  Guards)  I’m  not  mean,  OK?  

 

  44  

SG  1:   Hey.  We  got  a  job  to  do.    Wolf:   (Backs  away  and  then  turns  and  hurries  off  as  

they  follow)  Just  leave  me  alone.  Quit  following  me!  

 News  C:   (Turning  to  camera)  Interesting  development.  

(TB  Director  and  Good  Fairy  are  obviously  in  heated  conversation)  I  see  the  Good  Fairy.  Let’s  find  out  how  she  sees  this  going.  Fairy!  Can  you  talk  with  our  audience?  

 Fairy:   (Not  happy)  Sure.  What  do  you  want?    News  C:   We  want  to  know  how  the  rewrites  are  going.  

Can  you  give  us  an  update?    Fairy:   It’s  absurd.    News  C:   What?    Fairy:   This  whole  thing  was  a  bad  idea  (TB  Director  

interrupts  and  swings  Fairy  out  of  the  way  to  end  interview)  

 Director:   We  really  have  to  get  on  with  ACT  2,  Fairy.  (To  

camera)  The  cast  and  I  are  anxious  for  this  play  to  come  together.  I  think  the  audience  will  be  thrilled.  And  I’m  expecting  Greta  to  win  another  Tony.  

 Fairy:   (In  the  background)  Yeah.  A  Tony  for  most  

annoying  actor  in  a  new  stage  play.    News  C:   (Wrapping  up)  Well,  there  you  have  it.  Back  to  

you,  News  Ryan  Williams.  

  45  

 Back  to  live  feed  in  News  Room    News  A:   Wow.  Thank  you,  News  Leslie  Halt.  It  looks  like  

things  are  progressing  with  the  show.  We  will  continue  to  follow  the  play.  This  has  been  a  news  update.  Good  night.  

 Video  ending  news  update    Not  live  feed:    Ryan  Williams:   What  just  happened  there?    News  Director:   I  don’t  know.      Ryan  Williams:   That  was  just  odd.    

News  Room  empties  as  they  chatter  on  way  out.  Lights  up  on  stage  for  Rehearsal  Act  2  

 BEAT  8    Director:   Places  everyone  for  ACT  2.    Stage  Manager:   PLACES!    Fairy:   I  hope  this  break  helps  everyone  get  focused.  

(Greta  and  Stage  Crew  take  places  on  the  set)    Stage  Crew:   (Puts  box  down)  My  arms  are  really  getting  

tired.    Director:   Act  2  is  a  lot  shorter  than  Act  1.  You  should  be  

fine.    

  46  

Stage  Crew:   Thank  heavens.  I  never  really  wanted  to  be  onstage.  But  this  is  actually  kind  of  fun.  

 Director:   You’re  doing  a  fabulous  job.    Stage  Crew:   (Picking  up  box)  Thanks.    Greta:   What  about  me?    Director:   Oh  Greta.  You’re  the  star.  I  don’t  expect  

anything  less.    Greta:     I  know.    Director:   (To  Fairy)  This  should  go  smoothly.    Fairy:   It  better.    Director:   Greta…Little   Dot.   Let’s   take   it   from   the   top   of  

Act   2.   You’re   on   your   way   to   Granny’s   house  through  the  deep  dark  woods.  

 Greta:   Ok.   (Clears   throat   and  waits   a   beat)   I’m  on  my  

way   to   Granny’s   house   through   the   deep   dark  woods.   (Skipping   along.   Crew   person   follows)  Here   I   am   at   the   tee   in   the   road   and  Mr.  Wolf  said   to   veer   which   way?   (To   StageCrew)   Crew  Person.   Do   you   remember?   (As   she’s   looking  back  and  forth  Glenda  enters)  

 StageCrew:   I’m  not  here.    Glenda:   (She   is   always   optimistic)   Hello.     (“Floats”   to  

Greta)  Are  you  a  good  witch  or  a  bad  witch?    

  47  

Greta:   I’m  not  a  witch  at  all.    (Hidden  Munchkins  giggle  –  Greta  looks  around  not  seeing  them)  

 Glenda:   Well…then   is   that   (indicating   Crew  with   box)  a  

good  witch  or  a  bad  witch?    Greta:   Noooo…she’s  not  really  here.    That’s  my  box  of  

goodies.   (Munchkins   giggle)   what   is   that  annoying  sound?  

 Glenda:   (continues   to   smile   and   look   around…then)  Are  

you  lost?    Greta:   No…but  you  must  be.  (Munchkins  giggle  again)  

What  is  that?    Glenda:   Those   are   the   Munchkins.     You   can   come   out.    

It’s  safe.    Come  out.    Come  out.    (Munchkins   enter   saying   “hello”   “how   are   you”.     They   are  

always  cheery.  They  swarm  around  her)    Greta: Oooo…don’t touch me. They’re bratty little kids! 1  Munchkin:   We’re   not   kids,   we’re   Munchkins.  

(Munchkins  giggle)    Greta: Hey Crew Person…gag the Munchkins, will ya’? Crew:   I’m  not  here…remember?  (Munchkins  giggle)      Greta:   Why  are  you  in  this  Fairy  Tale?    You  must  have  

made  a  mistake.    6  Munchkin:   We  did.    (Munchkins  giggle)    

  48  

Greta: Why are you always laughing? Glenda:   These   are   Munchkins…and…they   laugh.    

(Munchkins  giggle)    Greta:   (Raised  eyebrows)  OK…how  did  you  get  into  my  

woods?    3  Munchkin:   We  walked.    8  Munchkin:   And  walked.    10  Munchkin:  And  walked.    2  Munchkin:   And  walked.    5  Munchkin:   And  walked.    Greta:   (Getting   perturbed)   I   get   it!   You   walked!  

(Munchkins  giggle)    4  Munchkin:   And  then  we  got  here.    1  Munchkin:   This   doesn’t   look   like   Munchkin   Land  

anymore.    Greta:   (Raised  eyebrows)  Bingo!    11  Munchkin:  And  we  lost  the  yellow  brick  road  a  loooong  

time  ago.    Greta:   (Irritated)  Yellow  brick  road?    3  Munchkin:   Right…we   were   following   the   yellow   brick  

road.      

  49  

7  Munchkin:   Glenda  told  us  to  follow  her.    9  Munchkin:   So  we  followed  her.    1  Munchkin:   And  suddenly,  the  yellow  is  gone!    3  Munchkin:   And  so  we’re  lost!  (Munchkins  giggle)    Glenda:   (Aside)  They  don’t  know  that  I  am  colorblind.    Greta:   Well,   you   can’t   be  here!  This   is  my   story   and   I  

am  on  my  way  to  my  Granny’s  house.    4  Munchkin:   What  are  we  gonna  do  now,  Glenda?    Glenda:   (To   Greta)   If   you   wouldn’t   mind   closing   your  

eyes   and   clicking   your   heels   together   three  times,  we  will   return   to  Munchkin  Land  safely.  (Munchkins  giggle)  

 Greta:   What?!    2  Munchkin:   Click  your  heels  three  times.    10  Munchkin:  Click  your  heels  three  times.    7  Munchkin:   Click  your  heels  three  times.    Greta:   All  right  already…(closes  eyes  with  head  tilted  up  

and  she  clicks  her  heels)  There!  (Pause  and  opens  eyes,  slowly  lowers  head  and  sees  Munchkins  who  giggle)    Why  are  you  still  here?  

 Glenda:   (Points   with   wand   to   Greta’s   shoes)   You   are  

wearing  the  ruby  slippers,  aren’t  you?    

  50  

Greta:   Ruby   slippers?   Nooo…but   I   could   use   some  really  fast  running  shoes  right  now.  

 Glenda:   That’s  why  it  didn’t  work.    1  Munchkin:   Hey,  that’s  a  cool  coat.    Greta:   Thanks.  Do  you  like  my  swing  coat?    6  Munchkin:   It’s  awesome.    Greta:   Look…it  twirls.    Munchkins:   Wow!    Neato!    Greta:   Now…run  along.      5  Munchkin:   We  can’t  go…we  don’t  know  how  to  get  back  

to  Munchkin  Land.    3  Munchkin:   I  know…let’s  go  with  her  to  Granny’s  house.  

(Munchkins  agree  and  jump  excitedly)    Greta: You can’t come with us…I mean, me…’cause it’s

only me. She’s not there. 8 Munchkin: (Pointing to legs under box) Who is that?  Greta: Oh…never mind him. I told you she’s not here.

she’s just carrying my box of goodies. 9 Munchkin: Can we have some? (Munchkins giggle) Greta: NO! They are all mine! 11 Munchkin: Can we come with you to your granny’s?

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Greta: (Fabricating) No…there’s a mean and hungry wolf after me…yeah, yeah…and he likes to eat little people.

Glenda: Oh, dear. Then can you tell us the way to

Munchkin Land? Greta: Sure…I’ll tell you where to go…(Munchkins

cheer) Granny’s is that way (she points one way)…so you need to go that way. (She points opposite)

Glenda: Thank you Munchkins: Thank you…Bye! (Giggle as they exit) Greta: (Waving, yelling with fake smile) Bye and good

riddance…I mean, good luck…(Voice trails off and runs on the rest of statement) finding your way home now I must be off to Grannys’. Come on, Crew. (She exits and Granny’s house comes on with Granny sitting on chair covered in a blanket. Stool is beside her. Wolf, in spotted cape, at the door. Wolf knocks on the door)

(BEAT 9)

Granny: (In chair under covers. Pretends sick) Who’s

there? Wolf: It’s me. (Clears voice. Repeats in falsetto) It’s me.

Your granddaughter, Little Dot. Granny: Little Dot? Wolf: (In real voice) It’s a long story…just let me in. I

mean…(Falsetto) may I come in?

  52  

Granny: Yes, dear. Come in and see your very sick

Granny. Wolf: The door won’t open. Crew 2: It’s just painted on. Wolf: (To Director) What should I do? Fairy: Just blow the house down. Director: Crew. As wolf enters, just move the house stage

right…That’s that way (He points) and Wolf you just walk through as they pass. Let’s try it. Granny, give Wolf your cue line.

Granny: Yes, dear. Come in and see your very sick

Granny. (Crew doesn’t move) Director: Crew! Why didn’t you move the house? Crew 2: The Wolf didn’t enter. Director: What? Crew 1: You said to move the house when Wolf enters the

house. Director: (Irritated) How can he enter the house if you don’t

move the house? Fairy: Aye Yi Yi! Director: (Calmly irritated) Move the house when Granny

gives the cue line, “Come in…and so forth”

  53  

Crew 1 and 2: Got it. Director: Granny give the cue again. Granny: Yes, dear. Come in and see your very sick

Granny. (Crew starts moving Left.) Director: THE OTHER WAY! (They hurriedly change

direction and Wolf goes in) Wolf: (Enters as house set moves to stage R) Hello, my

dear, sick old Granny. Granny: Come closer, my dear, you know how my eyes are

failing. (Wolf approaches chair) Little Red, I think I am seeing spots.

Wolf: It’s my tacky new coat, Granny. Granny: My…what big ears you have. Wolf: The better to hear you, dear old Granny. Granny: My…what big eyes you have. Wolf: Well somebody has to be able to see. Granny: My…what big teeth you have. Wolf: The better to eat the fine vegetarian cuisine that

Little Dot is bringing. Granny: (Sits up in chair) You’re not my granddaughter!

You’re a wolf! SG 1: (Jumps up to help) I’m on this! (Granny screams

and Wolf jumps)

  54  

Wolf: What?! Director: Not now, it’s fine. Granny take it from your line. Granny: (Sits up in chair, but eyes security guard. She is

hesitant on lines) You’re not my granddaughter! You’re a wolf.

Wolf: (Bows) Yes, ma’am. That would be Bartholomew

Baron Wolf, or better known as BB Wolf! Granny: Are you going to eat me? (SGs sit up straight) Wolf: I’m not gonna eat you, Granny. (SGs relax) Granny: (Surprised) You’re not? Wolf: No, no, no…I am actually a vegetarian. I want the

goodies that Little Dot is bringing. You should see the great cuisine she has in a great big box…there’s even vegetarian lasagna!

Fairy: (Firmly. Interrupting) Wolf! Carry on with the

story! Wolf: (Thinking) Ummmm…oh yeah…(Clears throat) I

won’t eat you because I’m a vegetarian. Granny: (Concerned) Oh, dear Wolf. I could tell something

was wrong…tell me about it. Granny will listen to you. (She motions for him to sit on stool)

Wolf: It hasn’t been easy being a wolf and all. I just happen

to despise raw meat…actually any meat at all. Granny: Oh my. That’s odd for a wolf.

  55  

Wolf: I know. And the wolf pack has left me out. I’m a

lone wolf. Granny: That’s not good. What things do you like to do? Wolf: What do I like? (Excited, sits up) I like

decorating…making a house come to life. Granny: That’s interesting. I am sure you could find others

with the same interest. Wolf: Where? (slump back) Not in the deep dark forest. Granny: You are just looking in the wrong spots. Wolf: I never thought about that. The wrong spots. Granny: Tell me more about your decorating. This sounds

interesting. Wolf: (excited again to tell his story) I like to give

attention to details. Colors…shapes…even themes…

Granny: Ooooo…I like what I’m hearing. Wolf: You do? Do you know what it’s like to go through

life being so different from everyone else in the pack? I don’t belong. I am so lonely.

Granny: (Introspective) I know what you mean. Wolf: (Taking interest in her) You do…You mean, you’re

lonely too? You have a family and all. You’re granddaughter is on her way over here right now.

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Granny: Yeah…she’s on her way all right. But she wouldn’t be if I hadn’t pretended to be sick.

Wolf: You mean you’re not really sick? Granny: No. It’s my only way to get attention. I have to

come up with all kinds of ideas to get people over here to visit.

Wolf : Really? What do you do? Granny: (Chuckles) I get my son-in-law to visit because I

break things around the house…on purpose! Wolf: (chuckles with her) Really? That’s sneaky! Granny: I know. But it works. Otherwise I would never see

him. Wolf: That’s sad. Granny: You know what else I do? Wolf: What? Granny: I call UPS for package pick-up when the boxes are

actually empty… Wolf: How funny! Granny: They love it because I invite them in for coffee and

some food I just made. Wolf: Is that something you enjoy doing? Granny: What’s that dear?

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Wolf: Cooking. Is that something you like to do? Granny: I love to cook. I love to create new cuisines with

unusual ingredients. Wolf: (get up and paces) Let me get this straight…you’re

lonely…right? Granny: Right. (Lightbulb goes off) And you’re lonely too. Wolf: Right. (crosses down C) I like to decorate… Granny: (Stands and joins Wolf) And I like to cook… Wolf and Granny: (To each other) Let’s open a bed and

breakfast!

(BEAT 10)

(Little Dot and StageCrew enter) Greta: Hi Granny! Brought ya’ a box of goodies. (She is

ignored) Wolf: I’ll redecorate. Make this room a cozy country

setting…lilac walls… and yellow touches in the pillows.

Granny: I can make up a menu that will knock the socks off

the guests and keep ‘em coming back for more. Greta: Granny…see my beautiful swing coat…it twirls.

(She spins but Granny isn’t interested) Granny: (not really noticing) Nice, dear.

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Wolf: I’ll hang quaint and homey pictures and fill each room with fresh flowers…

StageCrew: I need to put this down! (she sets box on floor) Wolf: (Grabbing Crew tightly) Oh…looky…here’s a

crew person who can build a deck and put up a lattice gazebo.

StageCrew: But I’m not really here! Granny: (Grabbing Greta) I will put this spoiled girl to

work in the kitchen cutting up fresh baguettes and making those cute little radish rosettes…

Greta: (confused, scared) Granny! (Sees Mother and

breaks away) Mother! Help! Mother: (Enters) Little Dot…where have you been? I have

been worried about you? Greta: Granny’s going bonkers, Mom! . Granny: Oh…and here’s my daughter…she can do the

linens…Make up the beds each morning with crisp flowered sheets…

Mother: Granny…are you all right? Granny: (To Mother) Yes, dear. (To Wolf) We’ll call our

place…”Granny’s Country Cottage” Wolf: Where you can “Come in and Wolf down the fine

food”! (Pause) I can see it now…a little white picket fence all around the yard with a brick walkway leading up to the front porch…and I want the brick to be painted yellow.

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Glenda: (Enters with Munchkins) Did you say “yellow”

brick? Granny: Oh, look…our first guests! Munchkins: We found the yellow brick road! Yay!

(Giggles) Greta: NOOOOOO!!!! Fairy! Director! What’s the

meaning of this?! (Director comforts Little Dot as ENTIRE CAST gather in mime excited about the Bed and Breakfast)

Fairy: Oh my, oh my, oh my! I’ve lost control. I’ve got to

do something!

Fairy waves her wand: Scene freezes into a tableau, Fairy drops to floor.

(BEAT 11) Live Feed from News Room News Update video then LIVE:

Ryan Williams: Good Evening. Sources report that the

updated Fairy Tale is done and will be performed with the famous Actress, Greta Starr. Shows will run March 12, 13 and 14th at Middough Hall in Auburn. Our sources tell us that this show will be fabulous and Greta is expected to win a Tony! What do you think, News Leslie Halt?

News C: I think they did a great job. And I do think that

BB Wolf got to set the record straight. He was actually a very nice Wolf.

Ryan Williams: I agree. Thank you for tuning into

Your Best News’ special coverage.

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News C: This has been Your Best News… Cast: Signing off.

Video of News Cast Closing with Credits

Curtain Call