Being aGood Encourager

1 Thessalonians 2:1-12

Adapted from a Sherm Nichols series

http://www.sermoncentral.com/print_friendly.asp?SermonID=162320

1 Thessalonians 2:1 ESV For you yourselves know, brothers, that our coming

to you was not in vain. 2 But though we had already suffered and been shamefully treated at Philippi, as you know, we had

boldness in our God to declare to you the gospel of God in the midst of much

conflict.

3 For our appeal does not spring from error or impurity or any attempt to deceive, 4 but just as we have been approved by God to

be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not to please man, but to please God who tests our hearts. 5 For we never came with words of flattery, as you know, nor with a

pretext for greed—God is witness.

6 Nor did we seek glory from people, whether from you or from others, though

we could have made demands as apostles of Christ. 7 But we were gentle among you,

like a nursing mother taking care of her own children. 8 So, being affectionately desirous of you, we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you had

become very dear to us.

9 For you remember, brothers, our labor and toil: we worked night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you, while

we proclaimed to you the gospel of God. 10 You are witnesses, and God also, how holy

and righteous and blameless was our conduct toward you believers.

11 For you know how, like a father with his children, 12 we exhorted each one of you and encouraged you and charged you to

walk in a manner worthy of God, who calls you into his own kingdom and glory.

(Norman Vincent Peale) "Once walking through the twisted little streets of

Kowloon in Hong Kong, I came upon a tattoo studio. In the window were displayed

samples of the tattoos available. On the chest or arms you could have tattooed an

anchor or flag or mermaid or whatever. But what struck me with force were 3 words

that could be tattooed on one's flesh, "Born to lose."

I entered the shop in astonishment and, pointing to those words, asked the Chinese tattoo artist, "Does anyone really have that terrible phrase, 'Born to lose,’ tattooed on

his body?" He replied, "Yes, sometimes."

"But," I said, "I just can't believe that anyone in his right mind would do that."

The Chinese man simply tapped his forehead and said in broken English,

"Before tattoo on body, tattoo on mind."

What a powerful statement! Before tattooed on body, tattooed on mind! True!

Before you start to see in people the externals of fatigue and frowns and

negativity and angry words and introversion, on the inside already there

has been an uninvited visit by one of man’s greatest enemies: discouragement.

Before Eeyore ever said, "Not that it matters anyway or that anyone cares...." that depressed donkey from Winney the

Pooh fame was somehow discouraged, and it became a way of life for him.

We’ve all met Eeyores!

There are a lot of people who have taken up discouragement as a lifestyle.

Wife: Boy, this sermon’s just in time. I’m not sure how much longer I can take living

with Eeyore!

Husband: Not that it matters, but were you talking about me? What makes you say

that?

Wife: Oh, I don’t know – maybe it was the way you were singing “Nobody knows the

trouble I’ve seen” this morning in the shower.

Husband: Well, has it ever occurred to you that maybe I was a little down?

Wife: A little down? If you were any more “down” you’d be qualified to fill a feather bed! Has it ever occurred to you how hard it can be to be around someone who’s so

discouraged? I’ve even noticed the cat doesn’t want to be around you lately!

Husband: Well, maybe if you’d pay attention this morning, you could help me.

Wife: I guess you’re right. I suppose if I’m ever going to survive your gloominess I’m

going to need some help. There’s one reason to listen anyway!

There’s a need for encouragement out there.

Why else would the Bible have so much to say about it?

1 Thessalonians 5:11 ESV Therefore encourage one another and build one

another up, just as you are doing.

Hebrews 13:3 ESV Remember those who are in prison, as though in prison with

them, and those who are mistreated, since you also are in the body.

Hebrews 10:24 ESV And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, 25 not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but

encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

These are commands for us to be good encouragers.

Think about it with me, and how it works in the Church...

A man’s afraid. Someone said he was afraid to become a Christian.

It is scary, but a few words of encouragement from someone who knows what that fear is like, and he makes the decision to accept

Jesus. That’s not just some made-up story.

It’s the kind of true story that’s the story of people sitting around you!

I want you to leave being a better encourager than you were when you

walked in.

Let me encourage you to do that, will you?

Once again, let’s get it done by looking into the encouraging first letter that Paul wrote

to the Christians in Thessalonica.

I want you to see with me that encouragement comes with “some

assembly required.”

It has a few parts, and we’re going to look over the instructions to see if we can it put

together in ourselves before we get out those doors.

The first part is…

There have been periods of time in my life when I must have been very discouraged and the word got out because I would get

phone calls.

People would call me up – people I don’t even know, just to encourage me.

Yep, I’ve had a lot of encouragement over the phone:

Pure Motives

“Hello, is this Rick Peterson?Mr. Peterson, this is first bank of the last

chance, and we want to compliment you on your excellent credit record.

Our company wants to reward responsible people like you with our new Visa

plutonium card.You owe this to yourself for all your hard

work!” ------ they’re very encouraging!

Still, when that friendly voice sounds on the other end of the phone, I have to

honestly say I don’t trust their motives.

I think they want something more than to just call me up and compliment me!

Encouragement is an effort to change another person’s direction – to get them to

think and feel differently.

That’s what infomercials are for, isn’t it?

So, what’s the difference between being a good encourager and being a good

manipulator?

It’s called pure motives.

3 For our appeal does not spring from error or impurity or any attempt to deceive, 4 but just as we have been approved by God to

be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not to please man, but to please God who tests our hearts. 5 For we never came with words of flattery, as you know, nor with a pretext for greed—God is witness. 6 Nor did we seek glory from people, whether

from you or from others, though we could have made demands as apostles of Christ.

Sometimes kind deeds come from mixed motives.

In Miami, FL, vandals had cut down 6 royal palms along Flagler St.

The palms were very expensive, and Dade County authorities weren't sure if they

could replace them very soon.

But then someone donated 6 more and even had them planted.

The old ones had been about 15' tall and provided a nice foreground for a "Fly

Delta" billboard.

The new palms were 35' tall they completely hid the sign.

By the way, the new donor was Eastern Airlines.

Have you ever had someone doing you favors or a kindness and later found out that they

were actually after something? How does that leave you feeling?

Look at the motives of Paul and his companions:

7 But we were gentle among you, like a nursing mother taking care of her own

children. 8 So, being affectionately desirous of you, we were ready to share with you not only

the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you had become very dear to us.

11 For you know how, like a father with his children, 12 we exhorted each one of you and encouraged you and charged you to

walk in a manner worthy of God, who calls you into his own kingdom and glory.

In other words, Paul worked at encouraging them because he really loved these people, and then because he really

wanted them to be obedient to God.

See, the right motive, the one that will make you a good encourager, is to have enough love for someone that you seek

their success.

The reason we’re sometimes weak at this isn’t just technique; it’s first a heart matter!

It’s because often we don’t care enough, we don’t have enough love for the other

person to do well at our expense.

Encouragement has to be selfless – it’s driven by a genuine desire to see someone

else succeed.

So it takes right motives, pure motives.

If you’re going to become a good encourager, start by taking a look at your

motives.

Another part of becoming a good encourager is having a…

I’ve heard and seen a lot of attempts to be encouraging over the years.

Some of them even come from well-meaning people with good motives, but

they still just don’t get the job done.

Powerful Message

So there’s more to this than just good intentions.

Being a good encourager also means having something to share with people that

really does give encouragement.

Wife: I suppose you’re going to tell me that the things I’ve said to you lately haven’t

been very encouraging, have they?

Husband: You mean like when you said, “How could anyone be down when he has

me for a wife?”

Wife: Hey, I thought that was pretty clever!

Husband: Well, it was cute, but it really didn’t help much.

Wife: I’m sure I had good intentions.

Husband: I think you probably did too, but somehow being clever just makes it seem like you’re really not in touch with where

I’m at.

Wife: You mean my words of encouragement don’t encourage you?

Husband: Let’s just say you should probably not seek a job writing greeting

cards.

Here’s a short list of things that are meant to encourage, but don’t:

1. Oh, come on, Honey, you have me don’t you?2. I know just how you feel.(No, you don’t)3. Look on the bright side, you still have your other children.4. It must be God’s will.5. Everything has a reason.6. At least you have your health7. At least you have your youth

A book could be written of things that were supposed to be encouraging, but just

weren’t.

Why is that?

Because encouragement means having something of substance to give to people.

If the bulk and depth of your wisdom comes from TV, music videos and tabloids, you’re going to struggle with being a good

encourager!

The pool of collective wisdom you’re drawing from there won’t satisfy the dried

up soul of a person who needs to be refreshed!

What is the message that encourages? Look again, vv2,4,8,9 - the gospel! The

good news, with all that it implies...

How about, instead of triteness or clichés, we have something worthwhile to say to

the downtrodden?How about, instead of saying, “Oh, this is just like an episode of “Andy Griffith that I

saw,” we point hurting people to where they really can be healed?

I know that you hurt right now, but God has promised one day all that hurt will be

removed

You feel like no one loves you. I do!

But more importantly, God loves you and hasn’t turned His back on you!

You’re down because of what you can’t have. Don’t forget what you do have in

Christ!

I can’t understand all you feel or are going through right now. God does! He

understands, and He cares about you.

You feel worthless. Let me tell you what you’re worth! God paid a great price for

you!...

God’s message hasn’t lost its relevance! What was good to bring comfort and

encourage the 1st-Century Church is good to encourage people today!

Right now, within your reach are the greatest words of encouragement that

anyone can offer. Remember that!

Why is it that we tend to open up the Bible as a kind of last resort when we’re in the

worst of situations?

Listen!

God’s word has a whole lot more encouragement, a whole lot more help for discouraged people than anything you or I

can come up with!

2 Timothy 2:15 ESV Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker

who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth.

Real encouragement means having enough spiritual maturity to be able to point people

to real help -- to spiritual truths with spiritual strengths!

A good encourager is someone who has a handle on that powerful message -- who can use it like a 2-edged sword, who can shine it like a spotlight, who can apply it

like a balm to the wounds of life!Good encouragement has a powerful

message.Finally, it has a…

Good encouragement doesn’t just happen. It takes being deliberate.

We have to do it on purpose.

If it’s not happening among us like it should -- or if you’re not doing it like you

should -- maybe you need to get deliberate about it.

Purposeful Method

Maybe you need to map out a plan for how you’re going to become a better

encourager.

If you’re going to become a good encourager -- and you need to -- then you can expect these to be a part of the deal,

just like they were in Paul’s life:

Husband: OK, now would be a good time to take notes.

Wife: I’ll tell you what. I will if you will. You know, I’m sure going to do this better at home for your sake, but it sounds to me

like it’s bigger than just us. Do you suppose that some of the people around us

could use our help sometimes?

Husband: Well, maybe. I always just figured I was going through too much to help

anybody else.

Wife: So far he hasn’t said anything about whether or not you’re having a tough time.

Maybe you need to see if you can’t do some of this yourself, Mr. Eeyore.

Husband: OK, OK. Where’s a pencil?

The first thing you need is…

This may have already happened to you.

In fact, you don’t have much control over it.

It may be that the Lord has allowed you to experience some hard times in life so that

you could be a better encourager to others.

Personal Preparation

Instead of saying, "I’ve been through so much, I don’t think I could encourage

anyone else," how about saying instead, "I’ve made it through so much, it would be a terrible waste to not use what I’ve learned

to help someone else with it."

Hebrews 12:5 ESV And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as

sons? "My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when

reproved by him. 6 For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son

whom he receives."

7 It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For

what son is there whom his father does not discipline? 8 If you are left without

discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not

sons.

9 Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the

Father of spirits and live? 10 For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our

good, that we may share his holiness.

11 For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it

yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. 12

Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, 13 and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather

be healed.

In other words, God would rather your life be a masterpiece that took a lot of colors and a lot of work than for you to be a dot-

to-dot drawing!

What God has allowed you to endure may well be the way He has prepared you to

become one of His greatest encouragers!

To you, friend who has been through some tough times - If God has invested so much in you, can He at least expect the return of

you passing it along?

2 Corinthians 1:3 ESV Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the

Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which

we ourselves are comforted by God.Preparation is part of the deal.

It’s no fun, but it’s part of the deal.

I run faster when I have a running partner who’s running fast.

I work harder when I’m around guys who are hard workers.

Discouraged people are going to be more encouraged when they’re around people

who are giving their all.

Hard Work

9 For you remember, brothers, our labor and toil: we worked night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you, while

we proclaimed to you the gospel of God. 10 You are witnesses, and God also, how holy

and righteous and blameless was our conduct toward you believers.

Paul reminded the Thessalonians how they had worked extra hard among them, so that their message wouldn’t carry the baggage

of a financial burden.Why else do you suppose they worked

hard in Thessalonica?Just like a father would teach his son about

hard work by taking him along, Paul wanted the Thessalonians to learn what it

meant to be an encourager by his example, not just his words.

If you want to be an effective encourager, be sure that it’s going to happen only when

you apply hard work to it.

There are a lot of Eeyores out there!

Encouraging is hard work.

The 90’s were marked by a new wave of anti-man feminism and an undercurrent of

men putting away their John Wayne movies and “getting in touch with their feelings.”

Some called them “sensitive 90's guys.”

Loving, Open compassion

Paul would have made a great “sensitive 90's” guy - in some ways.

Being open with his feelings is one.

No John Wayne facade.

Look how open he is about his feelings for the Thessalonians.

7 But we were gentle among you, like a nursing mother taking care of her own

children. 8 So, being affectionately desirous of you, we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you had

become very dear to us.

It means a lot more to someone when you’re willing to allow some vulnerability

and transparency on your part.

That’s more work, but that’s part of the deal to become a good encourager – Loving,

open compassion.

2 But though we had already suffered and been shamefully treated at Philippi, as you

know, we had boldness in our God to declare to you the gospel of God in the

midst of much conflict.

(Jonathan Edwards) "Boldness enables Christians to forsake all rather than Christ,

and to prefer to offend all rather than to offend Him."

Courageous Boldness

We’re not speaking just of being a bold witness for Christ here - in the broader

sense, Paul was bold enough to tell people what they needed to hear.

Being an encourager sometimes means needing a certain degree of boldness.

Cheerleaders aren’t typically shy people, and what we’re talking about is being a

cheerleader - for obedience and for real life in Christ.

It takes a certain degree of courage to say to someone, “You know, I’m not going to let you just drift away from the Church.

You’re down, and you’ve wrongly convinced yourself that no one cares.

I’m not going to let you off that easy!

I’m going to pester you! I’m going to pray for you! I’m going to not let you rest in the

thought that no one cares about you!”

I want to challenge you: be bold in this business of encouraging.

Is it needed?Will it help?

Well who’s going to do it?

(Joseph McKinney) "Anyone can love the ideal church. The challenge is to love the

real church."

Anyone can love holding a baby.You can always find a baby or two around.

Many times you’ll often find ladies holding babies they don’t belong to!

Conclusion:

It’s so nice to hold someone else’s baby and just hand him back over when he

fusses.

But babies need to be held when they’re crying, when they’re cutting teeth, and

when they need to be changed too.

Anyone can like having friends who are never discouraged, never need to be

prompted to do the right thing, who are always a joy to be around and a lift to your

spirits.Anyone can enjoy having friends who don’t

have any troubles.Guess what - most people aren’t that way.

Most people have moments when a word of encouragement is a real need.

Most people, in the church too, are going to have times when you’ll need to be the one

giving, not receiving, help.

If we don’t accept that reality, no one’s going to be receiving help.

Someone out there has a "born to lose" tattoo on their mind.

What’s even more serious, someone out there that you know has a "lost" tattoo on

their mind -- separate from Christ, foreigners to the covenant, without God,

without hope, alone in the world.No wonder they’re discouraged with life.

What they need is Jesus Christ.