Life is not complex. We are complex. Life is simple,

and the simple thing is the right thing.

Oscar Wilde

When we were young life was easier, right? I know sometimes it seems that way. But the truth is life

still is easy. It always will be. The only difference is were older, and the older we get, the harder we

make things for ourselves.

You see, when we were young we saw the world through simple, hopeful eyes. We knew what we

wanted and we had no biases or concealed agendas. We liked people who smiled. We avoided

people who frowned. We ate when we were hungry, drank when we were thirsty, and slept when we

were tired.

As we grew older our minds became gradually disillusioned by negative external influences. At some

point we began to hesitate and question our instincts. When a new obstacle or growing pain arose,

we stumbled and fell down. This happened several times. Eventually we decided we didnt want to

fall again, but rather than solving the problem that caused us to fall, we avoided it all together.

As a result, we ate comfort food and drank alcohol to numb our wounds and fill our voids. We

worked late nights on purpose to avoid unresolved conflicts at home. We started holding grudges,

playing mind games, and subtly deceiving others and ourselves to get ahead. And when it didnt

work out, we lived above our means, used lies to cover up lies, and ate and drank some more just to

make ourselves feel better again.

Over the course of time, we made our lives harder and harder, and we started losing touch with who

we really are and what we really need.

If youre nodding your head, here are some ways youre likely making your life harder than it has to

be, and some ideas on simplifying things:

1. You look to everyone else for the answers only you can give yourself. For much of

our lives especially at the beginning we get told what do, how to think, what looks good,

what success is, etc. You dont have to buy into any of it anymore. Feel free to peel back the

layers. Think for yourself. Listen to your Self. Break the mold. When you stop doing what

everybody else wants you to do and start following your own intuition, you will find exactly

what you are looking for.

2. You let others make you feel guilty for living your life. As long as youre not hurting

anyone else, keep living your life YOUR way. Sometimes we get lost in trying to live for

someone else, trying to meet their expectations, and doing things just to impress them. Take a

moment and think about it. Are you doing things because you truly believe in

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there are two types of people in this world. There are givers and there are takers. Givers are

happy. Takers are still unhappily wondering whats in it for them.

9. You focus on popularity over effectiveness. Seek respect, not attention. It lasts longer

and its far more useful in the end. Do things and build things that make a lasting

difference. And above all, never confuse popularity with effectiveness. Being popular means

youre liked for a while. Being effective means youve made a difference.

10. You keep cutting corners and taking the easy way out. Do what is right, not what is

easy. And do the right thing even if no one else will ever know. Why? Because YOU will

know.

11. You focus on every point in time other than now. You cant change yesterday, but

you can ruin today by worrying about tomorrow. Be present. Tomorrow will reveal itself

exactly as it should, just as yesterday already has.

12. You are stuck on your mistakes. Its important that we forgive ourselves for making

mistakes. We need to learn from our errors and move forward. Make a pact with yourself

today to not be defined by your past. Sometimes the greatest thing to come out of all your

hard work isnt what you get for it, but what you learn from it. A happy, successful life, after

all, is not a life absent of problems, but one thats been able to rise above them. (Angel and I

discuss this in detail in the Adversity chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful

People Do Differently.)

13. You have an all or nothing mentality. Theres no such thing as perfect success, just

as theres no such thing as perfect failure. This is why labeling things in extremes all or

nothing success or failure is an exercise in futility. What does exist, however, is a

continuous series of imperfect moments filled with infinite possibilities and

opportunities. Appreciate the grey area between the extremes the journey the

experiences. And above all, never let success get to your head or failure get to your heart.

14. You expect life to always be happy. The world can be a difficult place. You may

experience suffering, heartbreak and loss. These circumstances can take a toll on your

happiness, but do not lose hope. Think about the Yin and Yang in Chinese philosophy, which

states that opposite forces are often interconnected. In suffering, you can find great strength,

in heartbreak you can find resilience, and in loss you can find a renewed appreciation for

life. Life is always Yin and Yang. Opposites are interdependent and interconnected. You cant

completely shield yourself from sadness without also shielding yourself from happiness.

15. You keep thinking about worst-case scenarios. - Sometimes your mind unnecessarily

wrestles with events that arent even remotely likely. Your sore throat is life threatening. Your

lost drivers license fell into the hands of a miscreant looking to steal your identity. Negativity

like this only breeds more negativity. Its a happiness riptide. It will carry you away from

shore, and if you dont swim away it will pull you under. The bottom line is that you can see

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