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Persevere through darkness. God sees your attempts. Before you know it, lightwill break forth and joy will fill you. May the blessings of the Holy Trinity,Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, rest on all who pursue this path.Fr. Paisius AltschulSeptember 1/14, 1996Church New YearReconciliation MinistriesKansas City, Missouri

Preface

Earlier this century, a renewal movement called the Oxford Group attemptedto bring personal and moral change to the Western world. The Oxford Group sprangfrom applying the principles of John Wesley, the founder of Methodism, which he inturn had drawn from the ancient Christian sources. The Oxford Group systematizeda series of steps as a process of cleansing one's inner life. These "steps" werelater adapted by Alcoholics Anonymous and expanded from 8 steps to 12 , withoutacknowledging their Christian source. Here they are readapted, emphasizing JesusChrist and His ancient Church as the foundation of personal transformation.

After each step you will find verses from the Holy Scriptures, quotes fromthe Holy Fathers of the Ancient Orthodox Church and meditations on each step.

This booklet is designed for both group discussion and individual application.May these ancient Truths guide you in your quest for personal transformation.Here then are The Twelve Steps following the ancient Christian path.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

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......page 67Step Number One: I now see that I, of myself, am powerless, unable to control(manage) my life by myself.Step Number Two: I now realize that my Creator - God, the Father and the Son and

the Holy Spirit - can restore me to wholeness in Christ.Step Number Three: I now make a conscious decision to turn my entire will andlife over to the care and direction of Jesus Christ as Teacher, Healer, Savior andLord.Step Number Four: Having made this decision, I now obey God's call in Scriptureto make a fearless, ethical, moral and scriptural inventory of my entire life inorder to uncover all my sins, mistakes and character defects, and to make awritten list of every item uncovered.Step Number Five: After completing the inventory, I now will begin to "walk inthe light as He is in the light" by admitting to myself, to God, and to at leastone other person in Christ the exact nature of these wrongs.Step Number Six: Having agreed with God about my sinful behavior, I now seekforgiveness through Christ and am prepared to make the necessary changes to enter

a life of fellowship with Him and His Church.Step Number Seven: I now repent from all these behaviors in thought, word anddeed, and ask God to remove each besetting sin, through the mercies of JesusChrist.Step Number Eight: I now make a list of all persons I have harmed in thought,word and deed, and a list of all persons I believe have harmed me, and seek tomake amends to all of themStep Number Nine: I now go directly to these persons to seek forgiveness,reconciliation, restitution or release, whenever and with whomever possible,unless to do so would cause further harm.Step Number Ten: I now consciously and prayerfully continue to "walk in the light"by unceasingly taking personal inventory of all my temptations and sins, and bykeeping a constantly open relationship with God, myself, and other persons to whom

I am accountable.Step Number Eleven: I now continue in regular Scripture study, spiritual reading,prayer, worship and fellowship to increase God's will in my life.Step Number Twelve: Recognizing the impact of God in my life, I now intentionallyshare these principles and their effect with others as God's Spirit leads, andwill seek to practice these principles in all areas of my life.Bibliography:

STEP NUMBER ONE

I now see that I, of myself, am powerless, unable to control (manage) my life bymyself.

Holy Scripture:Jn. 15:5I am the vine, ye are the branches: he that abideth in Me, and I in him, the samebringeth forth much fruit: for without Me ye can do nothing. (KJV)

2 Cor 3:5Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think anything as of ourselves; but oursufficiency is of God. (KJV)

Rom 7:22-24For I delight in the law of God after the inward man: But I see another law in my


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members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to thelaw of sin which is in my members. O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver mefrom the body of this death? (KJV)

Ps. 40:1-2I waited patiently for the LORD; and He inclined unto me, and heard my cry. Hebrought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feetupon a rock, and established my goings. (KJV)

Jer 17:5-9Thus saith the LORD; Cursed be the man that trusteth in man, and maketh flesh hisarm, and whose heart departeth from the LORD. For he shall be like the heath inthe desert, and shall not see when good cometh; but shall inhabit the parchedplaces in the wilderness, in a salt land and not inhabited. Blessed is the manthat trusteth in the LORD, and whose hope the LORD is. For he shall be as a treeplanted by the waters, and that spreadeth out her roots by the river, and shallnot see when heat cometh, but her leaf shall be green; and shall not be careful inthe year of drought, neither shall cease from yielding fruit. The heart isdeceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? (KJV)

Holy Fathers:

St. Mark the Ascetic, Philokalia, Vol I; On the Spiritual Law, #41, p. 113.When you have done something good, remember the words, "without Me you can donothing."

St. Macarius the Great, Philokalia, Vol. III; Love, #103, p. 331.If the earth abides by itself, not receiving the farmer's attention and theassistance of rain and sun, it is unfit and incapable of bearing fruit; and everyhouse would be filled with darkness but for the light of the sun, which is not ofits own nature; and other things are in a similar state. In the same way, humannature, which in itself is powerless to produce the fruits of the virtues in theirfull perfection, needs the spiritual husbandman of our souls; in other words, itneeds the Spirit of Christ, and this Spirit is of a totally different nature fromour own, for we are created while He is uncreated. Skillfully tilling the hearts

of the faithful so that they surrender their whole will to Him, He enables them toproduce perfect spiritual fruits, while He makes His light shine in the soul'sdwelling-place that has been darkened by the passions.

Abba Dorotheos of Gaza: Discourses and Sayings, On Humility, p. 98.The first kind of humility is to hold my brother to be wiser than myself,

and in all things to rate him higher than myself, and simply, as that holy mansaid, to put oneself below everyone. The second is to attribute to God allvirtuous actions. This is the perfect humility of the saints. It is generatednaturally in the soul by the performance of the commandments. It is just like atree bearing much fruit: it is the fruit that bends the branches and lowers themdown, but when there is no fruit, the branches point upwards and grow straight.

MeditationFrom these Scriptures and sayings of the Holy Fathers, we can see how

absolutely helpless we are when we try to live our lives on our own power. Jesusdescribed it like a branch trying to bear fruit while being unconnected to thetrunk of the tree. Is it any wonder than that our lives have gotten into such amess! But take courage! Jesus taught that "Blessed are the poor in spirit, fortheirs is the Kingdom of God." (Mt. 5:3) Coming to know how truly poor and needywe are is the first step to experiencing His kind of life.

STEP NUMBER TWO


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I now realize that my Creator - God, the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit -can restore me to wholeness in Christ.

Holy Scripture:Matt 11:28-30Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and yeshall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

(KJV)

Ps. 23:1-3The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in greenpastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadethme in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. (KJV)

Gen 1:26-27:And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them havedominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over thecattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth uponthe earth. So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created hehim; male and female created he them. (KJV)

Holy Fathers:St. Ionikkius: From Compline & Midnight Service; Horologion of the Holy OrthodoxChurchMy hope is the Father, my refuge is the Son, my protection is the Holy Spirit. OHoly Trinity, Glory to Thee!

St. Isaac the Syrian: On Ascetical Life; Third Discourse: #38. p. 55.Thirst for Jesus, that He may intoxicate you with His love. Close your eyes tothe precious things of the world that you may deserve to have the peace of Godreign in your heart.

St. Peter of Damascus: Philokalia, Vol. III, Spurious Knowledge. p. 200.

Ignorant, incapable of doing anything, we take refuge in Christ; and fearing Hisrighteousness because we are sinners, we ask Him to order all things as He judgesbest in His compassionate love.

St. Dorotheos of Gaza: Discourses and Sayings; On Cutting Off Passionate Desires,p. 173.Christ is the Doctor of souls, and he knows everything and applies the rightremedy for every sickness. For example: for vainglory, the commandment abouthumility; for love of pleasure, temperance; for avarice, almsgiving. In short,each disease of the soul has a commandment which is its appropriate remedy, sothat the Doctor is not inexperienced, nor again are the remedies old and impotent,for Christ's commands never go stale. Therefore, there is no impediment to thesoul's healing except its own unruliness.

MeditationHow many of us learned Psalm 23 when we were children. "The Lord is my

shepherd...He restores my soul." To restore is to bring back to the originalcondition. In Church Slavonic, the language of the Russian Church, the word forsaint means "like the first formed man" i.e. Adam & Eve in Paradise. All of us,deep within, have a feeling for Paradise sometimes. This inward longing is areflection of where we've come from. We were created by a loving God. He isrevealed as Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Restoration is returning towards aparadisal state. Knowing our need and then Who to turn to is half the journeythere. May He continue to guide us.


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STEP NUMBER THREE

I now make a conscious decision to turn my entire will and life over to the careand direction of Jesus Christ as Teacher, Healer, Savior and Lord.

Holy Scripture:Psa 37:5

Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.(KJV)

Prov. 3:5-7Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Be not wise inthine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil. (KJV)

Luke 9:23-24And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, andtake up his cross daily, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shalllose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it.(KJV)

John 14:6Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh untothe Father, but by me. (KJV)

Holy Fathers:St. Mark the Ascetic: Philokalia, Vol.I, On the Spiritual Law, #109, p. 117.When you hear the Lord saying that if someone does not renounce all that he has he"is not worthy of Me" (Mt. 10:37), apply this not only to money but to all formsof vice.

Tatian: The Early Christians; Address to the Greeks 15:1, p. 264.

Now there remains nothing for us to do but to seek what we once had but have lost:to join the soul to the Holy Spirit and thereby to achieve union with Himaccording to God's will.

Tatian: The Early Christians; Address to the Greeks 11:5-6, p.264.Die to the World by renouncing the madness of its stir and bustle. Live for Godby throwing off the old man in you, through recognition of His nature. We werenot born to die. We die because of our own guilt. Our freedom of will has ruinedus. We who were free became slaves. We were sold because of our sin. Godcreated nothing evil. It is we who brought forth wickedness.

St. Diadochus of Photiki: Philokalia, Vol. I, On Spiritual Knowledge#53, p. 268. There is nothing to prevent us from calling a doctor when we are ill.

Since Providence has implanted remedies in nature, it has been possible for humanexperimentation to develop the art of medicine. All the same, we should not placeour hope of healing in doctors, but in our true Savior and Doctor, Jesus Christ.#4. p. 253. All men are made in God's image; but to be in His likeness is grantedonly to those who through great love have brought their own freedom intosubjection to God. For only when we do not belong to ourselves do we become likeHim who through love has reconciled us to Himself. No one achieves this unless hepersuades his soul not to be distracted by the false glitter of this life.

St. Maximos the Confessor: Philokalia, Vol. II, First Century of Various Texts,#11, p. 167.


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As man I deliberately transgressed the divine commandment, when the devil,enticing me with the hope of divinity (cf. Gen. 3:5), dragged me down from mynatural stability into the realm of sensual pleasure; and he was proud to havethus brought death into existence, for he delights in the corruption of humannature. Because of this, God became perfect man, taking on everything thatbelongs to human nature except sin (cf. Heb.4:15); and indeed sin is not part ofhuman nature. In this way, by enticing the insatiable serpent with the bait ofthe flesh, He provoked him to open his mouth and swallow it. This flesh proved

poison to him, destroying him utterly by the power of the Divinity within it; butto human nature it proved a remedy restoring it to its original grace by that samepower of the Divinity within it.

St. Macarius of Egypt: Philokalia, Vol. III, The Freedom of the Intellect, #150,p. 353.What is the purpose of Christ's advent? The restoration and reintegration of thehuman nature in Him. For he restored to human nature the original dignity ofAdam, and in addition bestowed on it the unutterable grace of the heavenlyinheritance of the Holy Spirit. Leading it out of the prison of darkness, Heshowed it the way and the door to life. By traversing this way and knocking onthis door we can enter the kingdom of heaven. As He said: "Ask and it will be

given to you ... knock and it will opened to you" (Matt. 7:7). By passingthrough this door it is possible for everyone to attain the freedom of his soul,to cut off his evil thoughts, and to become Christ's bride and consort through thecommunion of the Holy Spirit. Such is the ineffable love of the Lord towards man,whom He has created in His own image.

MeditationWhen we first rode a bicycle we discovered a simple lesson: keep going

forward! Once we see where we can be restored and Who can restore us, there'sonly one thing left to do. Run to Jesus Christ! Turn everything over to Him.Seek to follow His instructions in everything. Let's face it. We've tried tosteer this ship on our own and ended up on the rocky reefs. Now it's time to letHim be the Captain of our ship.

STEP NUMBER FOUR

Having made this decision, I now obey God's call in Scripture to make a fearless,ethical, moral and scriptural inventory of my entire life in order to uncover allmy sins, mistakes and character defects, and to make a written list of every itemuncovered.

Holy Scripture:James 1:21Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receivewith meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls. (KJV)

1 Pet 2:1-3Wherefore laying aside all malice, and all guile, and hypocrisies, and envies,and all evil speakings, as newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word,that ye may grow thereby: If so be ye have tasted that the Lord is gracious.(KJV)

Mark 7:20-23And he said, That which cometh out of the man, that defileth the man. For fromwithin, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications,murders, thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lasciviousness, an evil eye,blasphemy, pride, foolishness: All these evil things come from within, and defile


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the man. (KJV)

Matt 23:26Thou blind Pharisee, cleanse first that which is within the cup and platter, thatthe outside of them may be clean also. (KJV)

Matt 7:1-5Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be

judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. And whybeholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beamthat is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull outthe mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thouhypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou seeclearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye. (KJV)

Holy Fathers:Evagrios the Solitary: Philokalia, Vol.I, On Discrimination, pp. 43-44.Because during temptation the intellect is clouded and does not see exactly whatis happening, do as follows after the demon has withdrawn. Sit down and recall insolitude the things that have happened: where you started and where you went, inwhat place you were seized by the spirit of unchastity, dejection or anger and how

it all happened. Examine these things closely and commit them to memory, so thatyou will then be ready to expose the demon when he next approaches you. Try tobecome conscious of the weak spot in yourself which he hid from you and you willnot follow him again.St. Peter of Damascus, Philokalia, Vol.III, Spurious Knowledge, p. 200.We should briefly confess all the various types of sin into which we fall, so asto recall them and to grieve over them, acknowledging our own weakness so that thepower of Christ may come upon us, as St. Paul says (cf. 2 Cor.12:9), and so thatour many evil actions may be forgiven. We do not dare to entreat on behalf ofall, but only for our own sins. We ask that our every vice and every evil habitmay be curbed, since we cannot control them, and we call upon the Almighty torestrain the impulses of our passions and not to permit us to sin against Him oragainst any man, so that we may in this way find salvation through His grace.

We also pray that through the recollection of our sins we may acquire tribulationof soul and ability to pray for others, thereby fulfilling the commandment of St.James (cf. Jas.5:16), as well as expressing our love for all men. By listing theforms of passion that tyrannize us, we are led to take refuge in our Master andbrought to a state of contrition. We pray for those whom we have distressed, andfor those who have distressed us, or who will distress us, because we do not wantto harbor the least trace of rancor, and because we fear that on account of ourweakness we will not be able to endure with forbearance when the time comes or topray for those who mistreat us, as the Lord commands (cf. Lk.6:28).

St. Hesychios the Priest: Philokalia, Vol.I, On Watchfulness and Holiness, #65, p.

174.St. Basil the Great, mouthpiece of Christ and pillar of the Church, says that agreat help towards not sinning and committing daily the same faults is for us toreview in our conscience at the end of each day what we have done wrong and whatwe have done right. Job did this with regard both to himself and to his children.(cf. Job 1:5). These daily reckonings illumine a man's hour by hour behavior.

St. Moses of Ethiopia: Sayings of Desert Fathers, #7, pp. 142-143.The old man said, "The aim in all these things is not to judge one's neighbor.For truly, when the hand of the Lord caused all the first born in the land ofEgypt to die, no house was without its dead." The brother said, "What does this


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mean?" The old man said, "If we are on the watch to see our own faults, we shallnot see those of our neighbor. It is folly for a man who has a dead person in hishouse to leave him there and go to weep over his neighbor's dead. To die to one'sneighbor is this: To bear your own faults and not to pay attention to anyone elsewondering whether they are good or bad. Do not harm to anyone, do not thinkanything bad in your heart towards anyone, do not scorn the man who does evil, donot put confidence in him who does wrong to his neighbor, do not rejoice with himwho injures his neighbor. This is what dying to one's neighbor means. Do not

rail against anyone, but rather say, 'God knows each one.' Do not agree with himwho slanders, do not rejoice at his slander and do not hate him who slanders hisneighbor. This is what it means not to judge. Do not have hostile feelingstowards anyone and do not let dislike dominate your heart; do not hate him whohates his neighbor. This is what peace is: Encourage yourself with this thought,"Affliction lasts but a short time, while peace is for ever, by the grace of Godthe Word. Amen.'"

St. Macarius of Egypt: Philokalia, Vol.III, Freedom of the Intellect, #120, p.338.Let everyone call his own soul to account, examining it and testing it to see towhat it is attached; and should he find that his heart does not conform to God'slaws, let him try with all his strength to keep not only the body but also the

intellect from corruption and involvement with evil thoughts - if, that is to say,he wishes God in His purity to take up His dwelling within him according to Hispromise. For God has promised to dwell within souls that are pure and devoted towhat is beautiful and good (cf. 2 Cor. 6:16).

MeditationSt. Anthony of Egypt, expressing the counsel of many Desert Fathers,

revealed that the first step to knowing God is to know yourself. It is often toavoid the pain of self-awareness that we are distracted with various addictions.The Desert Fathers, through their experience in self-knowledge, explained that thefruit of outward sins are rooted in vices and passions hidden like diseases in thesoul. They spoke of eight of them that were linked together like a chain: 1)Gluttony 2) Lust 3) Avarice or Greed 4) Anger 5) Despondency 6) Despair 7)

Vain Glory 8) Pride.(cf. The Acquisition of the Holy Spirit in Ancient Russia; I.M. Kontzevitch, p.39)

What we call addictions have their foundation here. Finding those passionsthat we're most susceptible to is a major step on the road to purity of heart.Jesus called it "removing the log from our own eye." (Mt. 7:5) God doesn't sendlight to us to push us away, but rather to show us what He wants to give us thepower to change. Like the restful sleep you find after a hard day's work, so isthe rest that follows this step. Just be careful not to take any shortcuts.

STEP NUMBER FIVE

After completing the inventory, I now will begin to "walk in the light as He is in

the light" by admitting to myself, to God, and to at least one other person inChrist the exact nature of these wrongs.

Holy Scripture:Acts 19:18-20And many that believed came, and confessed, and shewed their deeds. Many of themalso which used curious arts brought their books together, and burned them beforeall men: and they counted the price of them, and found it fifty thousand pieces ofsilver. So mightily grew the word of God and prevailed. (KJV)

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Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let thempray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord: And the prayer offaith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he havecommitted sins, they shall be forgiven him. Confess your faults one to another,and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer ofa righteous man availeth much. (KJV)

1 John 1:5-10

This then is the message which we have heard of him, and declare unto you, thatGod is light, and in him is no darkness at all. If we say that we have fellowshipwith him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth: But if we walk inthe light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and theblood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin. If we say that we haveno sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess oursins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from allunrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and hisword is not in us. (KJV)

Psa 51:1-4; 10-11; 13; 17Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto themultitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly

from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. For I acknowledge mytransgressions: and my sin is ever before me. Against thee, thee only, have Isinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when thouspeakest, and be clear when thou judgest. Create in me a clean heart, O God; andrenew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from thy presence; and take notthy holy spirit from me. Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; and sinnersshall be converted unto thee. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a brokenand a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise. (KJV)

Holy Fathers:Abba Serapion: Philokalia, Vol. I. St. John Cassian, On the Holy Fathers ofSketis & On Discrimination, pp. 103-104.Abba Moses then said: I shall tell you of something that Abba Serapion once did

and which he used to speak about to those who came to him for help. He used tosay: "When I was a young man I lived with my spiritual father, and at mealtimes,prompted by the devil, I would steal a rusk as I got up from the table and eat itwithout my father's knowledge. Because I persisted in this habit, I was utterlyovercome by it and was unable to conquer it. Though I was condemned by my ownconscience, I was ashamed to speak of it to my father. But through God's love ithappened that certain brethren came to the old man for advice and asked him abouttheir thoughts. The elder replied that nothing so harms a monk and brings suchjoy to the demons as the hiding of one's thoughts from one's spiritual father. Healso spoke to them about self-control. As this was being said I came to myselfand, thinking that God had revealed my past mistakes to the elder, I was prickedwith compunction and began to cry, throwing from my pocket the rusk which I hadstolen as usual. Casting myself to the ground I begged his forgiveness for my

past faults and his prayers for my future safety. Then the old man said: 'Mychild, your confession has freed you, although I was silent. You have slain thedemon that was wounding you because of your silence, by expressing openly what youwere keeping to yourself. Until this moment you ensured that he would be yourmaster by not opposing or rebuking him. From now on, however, he will no longerfind room in you, since he has been brought out of your heart into the open.'"

St. Peter of Damascus: Philokalia, Vol.III, Spurious Knowledge, p. 199.St. Athanasios the Great says that we should confess the sins we have committed inignorance, as well as those that we would have committed had we not been saved


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from them by God's grace, so that these may not be counted against us in the hourof death.

St. Maximos the Confessor: Philokalia, Vol. II, 3rd Century of Various Texts, #63, p. 226.Confession takes two forms. According to the one, we give thanks for theblessings received; according to the other, we bring to light and examine what wehave done wrong. We use the term confession both for the grateful appreciation of

the blessings we have received through divine favor, and for the admission of theevil actions of which we are guilty. Both forms produce humility. For he whothanks God for blessings and he who examines himself for his offenses are bothhumbled. The first judges himself unworthy of what he has been given; the secondimplores forgiveness for his sins.

MeditationIn the Garden of Paradise, Adam and Eve tried to hide from the Presence of

the Lord by covering themselves with fig leaves. Admitting our inner conditionsand defects to ourselves, God and another person is a major step in healing oursoul. It begins to reverse the tendency towards darkness as we left Paradise andinstead trains us to turn back to the light and return to Paradise. St. IgnatiusBrianchaninov said, "Passions retreat from the one who mercilessly confesses

them." (Acquisition; I.M. Kontzevitch, p. 66)Our inner soul is not to be shared with just anyone, but rather someone who

is known for spiritual discernment. Be it a priest or a spiritually experiencedlay person, a monk or a nun, this admission is of inestimable value.

STEP NUMBER SIX

Having agreed with God about my sinful behavior, I now seek forgiveness throughChrist and am prepared to make the necessary changes to enter a life of fellowshipwith Him and His Church.

Holy Scripture:1 John 1:9

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and tocleanse us from all unrighteousness. (KJV)

Luke 3:7-14Then said he to the multitude that came forth to be baptized of him, O generationof vipers, who hath warned you to flee from the wrath to come? Bring forththerefore fruits worthy of repentance, and begin not to say within yourselves, Wehave Abraham to our father: for I say unto you, That God is able of these stonesto raise up children unto Abraham. And now also the axe is laid unto the root ofthe trees: every tree therefore which bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down,and cast into the fire. And the people asked him, saying, What shall we do then?He answereth and saith unto them, He that hath two coats, let him impart to himthat hath none; and he that hath meat, let him do likewise. Then came also

publicans to be baptized, and said unto him, Master, what shall we do? And he saidunto them, Exact no more than that which is appointed you. And the soldierslikewise demanded of him, saying, And what shall we do? And he said unto them, Doviolence to no man, neither accuse any falsely; and be content with your wages.(KJV)

Luke 19:8-10And Zacchaeus stood, and said unto the Lord; Behold, Lord, the half of my goods Igive to the poor; and if I have taken any thing from any man by false accusation,I restore him fourfold. And Jesus said unto him, This day is salvation come tothis house, forsomuch as he also is a son of Abraham. For the Son of man is come


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to seek and to save that which was lost. (KJV)

2 Cor 7:9-11Now I rejoice, not that ye were made sorry, but that ye sorrowed to repentance:for ye were made sorry after a godly manner, that ye might receive damage by us innothing. For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of:but the sorrow of the world worketh death. For behold this selfsame thing, thatye sorrowed after a godly sort, what carefulness it wrought in you, yea, what

clearing of yourselves, yea, what indignation, yea, what fear, yea, what vehementdesire, yea, what zeal, yea, what revenge! In all things ye have approvedyourselves to be clear in this matter. (KJV)

Holy Fathers:St. Mark the Ascetic: Philokalia, Vol. I, No Righteousness by Works, #13, p. 126.Often our knowledge becomes darkened because we fail to put things into practice.For when we have totally neglected to practice something, our memory of it willgradually disappear.

Blessed Augustine: First Homily on First Epistle of John, N&PN Fathers, Vol. VII;pp. 463-464.For see what He saith, "If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and

the truth is not in us." Consequently, if thou hast confessed thyself a sinner,the truth is in thee: for the Truth itself is light. Thy life hath not yet shonein perfect brightness, because there are sins in thee; but yet thou hast alreadybegun to be enlightened, because there is in thee the confession of sins. For seewhat follows: "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us oursins, and to purge us from all iniquity." Not only the past, but haply if we havecontracted any from this life; because a man, so long as he bears the flesh,cannot but have some at any rate light sins. But these which we call light, donot thou make light of. If thou make light of them when thou weighest them, beafraid when thou countest them. Many light make one huge sin: many drops fillthe river; many grains make the lump. And what hope is there? Before all,confession: lest any think himself righteous, and before the eyes of God whoseeth that which is, man, that was not and is, lift up the neck. Before all,

then, confession; then, love: for of charity what is said? "Charity covers amultitude of sins"

Ignatius of Antioch: Ante-Nicene Fathers; Vol. I; Epistle to the Ephesians,Chapter 10, p.54See, then, that they be instructed by your works, if in no other way. Be ye meekin response to their wrath, humble in opposition to their boasting: to theirblasphemies return your prayers; in contrast to their error, be ye steadfast inthe faith; and for their cruelty, manifest your gentleness. While we take carenot to imitate their conduct, let us be found their brethren in all true kindness;and let us seek to be followers of the Lord (who ever more unjustly treated, moredestitute, more condemned?), that so no plant of the devil may be found in you,but ye may remain in all holiness and sobriety in Jesus Christ, both with respect

to the flesh and spirit.

MeditationWithin the context of the Ancient Christian Church, initial confession of

sins was followed by confession of the Faith and then sins were washed awaythrough Baptism. Sins committed after Baptism were able to be cleansed throughthe Mystery of Repentance with confession of sins. This cleansing prepares us toparticipate in a family, a community of co-strugglers that are seeking to shareDivine Life together, called the Church.

Many of us have been for one reason or another turned off from thetraditional Church. For most of us it has been because we thought the Church is


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only what we see around us on earth. Yet the Church is rooted in heaven. It iscentered around the Holy Trinity. The Lord Jesus Christ is her foundation. Acommunity of Apostles, Martyrs, God-filled holy beings full of Divine Light! Theyused to be soldiers, prostitutes, senators, slaves, kings and queens, homelesswanderers, humble mothers and fathers, little children. In other words, humanbeings from all walks of life that began on this same life-transforming journey.Now we call them saints or holy ones. It has been said that a saint is a sinnerwho didn't give up. Being connected to the Ancient Church is to first attach

yourself to the perfect Church in heaven through repentance, faith and Baptism,and then, through the priestly ministry, to join the Church on earth and struggletogether with others for purity of heart.

STEP NUMBER SEVEN

I now repent from all these behaviors in thought, word and deed, and ask God toremove each enslaving sin, through the mercies of Jesus Christ.

Holy Scripture:Mark 1:4John did baptize in the wilderness, and preach the baptism of repentance for the

remission of sins. (KJV)

Mark 1:14-15Now after that John was put in prison, Jesus came into Galilee, preaching thegospel of the kingdom of God, and saying, The time is fulfilled, and the kingdomof God is at hand: repent ye, and believe the gospel (KJV)

Luke 24:46-47And [Jesus] said unto them, Thus it is written, and thus it behooved Christ tosuffer, and to rise from the dead the third day: And that repentance and remissionof sins should be preached in his name among all nations, beginning atJerusalem.(KJV)

Acts 2:37-40Now when they heard this, they were pricked in their heart, and said unto Peterand to the rest of the apostles, Men and brethren, what shall we do? Then Petersaid unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of JesusChrist for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.For the promise is unto you, and to your children, and to all that are afar off,even as many as the Lord our God shall call. And with many other words did hetestify and exhort, saying, Save yourselves from this untoward generation. (KJV)

Eph 4:22-5:21That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corruptaccording to the deceitful lusts; and be renewed in the spirit of your mind; andthat ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true

holiness. Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbor:for we are members one of another. Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun godown upon your wrath: neither give place to the devil. Let him that stole stealno more: but rather let him labor, working with his hands the thing which is good,that he may have to give to him that needeth. Let no corrupt communicationproceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that itmay minister grace unto the hearers. And grieve not the Holy Spirit of God,whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, and wrath,and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:and be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as Godfor Christ's sake hath forgiven you. Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear


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children; and walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himselffor us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet smelling savor. Butfornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named amongyou, as becometh saints; neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting,which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks. For this ye know, that nowhoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath anyinheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. Let no man deceive you with vainwords: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of

disobedience. Be not ye therefore partakers with them. For ye were sometimesdarkness, but now are ye light in the Lord: walk as children of light: (for thefruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and truth;) proving whatis acceptable unto the Lord. And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works ofdarkness, but rather reprove them. For it is a shame even to speak of thosethings which are done of them in secret. But all things that are reproved are mademanifest by the light: for whatsoever doth make manifest is light. Wherefore hesaith, 'Awake thou that sleepest, and arise from the dead,' and Christ shall givethee light. See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise,redeeming the time, because the days are evil. Wherefore be ye not unwise, butunderstanding what the will of the Lord is. And be not drunk with wine, wherein isexcess; but be filled with the Spirit; speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymnsand spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord; giving

thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord JesusChrist; submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.

Col 3:1-17If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christsitteth on the right hand of God. Set your affection on things above, not onthings on the earth. For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God.When Christ, who is our life, shall appear, then shall ye also appear with him inglory. Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication,uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which isidolatry: for which things' sake the wrath of God cometh on the children ofdisobedience: in the which ye also walked some time, when ye lived in them. Butnow ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy

communication out of your mouth. Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have putoff the old man with his deeds; and have put on the new man, which is renewed inknowledge after the image of him that created him: where there is neither Greeknor Jew, circumcision nor uncircumcision, Barbarian, Scythian, bond nor free: butChrist is all, and in all. Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy andbeloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering;Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrelagainst any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. And above all these thingsput on charity, which is the bond of perfectness. And let the peace of God rule inyour hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful. Letthe word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing oneanother in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your heartsto the Lord. And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord

Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him. (KJV)

Holy Fathers:St. Peter of Damascus: Philokalia, Vol.3, Introduction, p. 84.If we so wish, however, God's second gift of grace - repentance - can lead us backto our former beauty. But if we fail to repent, inevitably we will depart withthe unrepentant demons into age long punishment, more by our own free choice thanagainst our will. Yet God did not create us for wrath but for salvation (cf. 1Thes. 5:9), so that we might enjoy His blessings...

We have to make strenuous efforts when we first try to return to where wefell from. For we resent abandoning our own desires, and we think that we can


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carry out both God's wishes and our own - which is impossible. Our Lord Himselfsaid, "I have come to do, not My own will, but the will of the Father which sentMe" (cf. John 6:38), even though the will of Father, Son and Holy Spirit is one,since they constitute a single inseparable nature. But He said this on ouraccount and with respect to the will of the flesh. For if the flesh is notconsumed and if a man is not wholly led by the Spirit of God, he will not do thewill of God unless he is forced to.

St. Mark the Ascetic: Philokalia, Vol.I, On the Spiritual Law:92. p. 116. Many have fought in various ways against circumstances; but withoutprayer and repentance no one has escaped evil.119. p. 118. When you sin, blame your thought, not your action. For had yourintellect not run ahead, your body would not have followed.134. p. 119. Those engaged in spiritual warfare practice self-control ineverything, and do not desist until the Lord destroys all "seed from Babylon"(Jer.27:16 LXX).136. p. 119 Sin is a blazing fire. The less fuel you give it, the faster it diesdown; the more you feed it, the more it burns.184-186. pp. 122-123. God assesses our action according to our intention; for itis said that the Lord will "reward you according to your heart" (Ps.20:4). He whodoes not persevere in examining his conscience will not endure bodily suffering

for God's sake. The conscience is nature's book. He who applies what he readsthere experiences God's help.189. p.123 If a man tries to overcome temptations without prayer and patientendurance, he will become more entangled in them instead of driving them away.

St. Mark the Ascetic: Philokalia, Vol. I; No Righteousness By Works94. p.133. Pray persistently about everything, and then you will never do anythingwithout God's help.106. pp. 133-134. Escape from temptation through patience and prayer. If youoppose temptation without these, it only attacks you more strongly.159-161. p.139. He who is under the power of sin cannot by himself prevail overthe will of the flesh, because he suffers continual stimulation in all hismembers. Those who are under the sway of passions must pray and be obedient. For

even when they receive help, they can only just mange to fight against theirprepossessions. He who tries conquer his own will by means of obedience andprayer is following a wise ascetic method. His renunciation of external thingsindicates his inward struggle.23. p.127. We who have received baptism offer good works, not by way of repayment,but to preserve the purity given to us.

MeditationRepentance is a redirection. It means a change of mind, focus, direction.

We turn from those things that are destroying ourselves and others and we turntoward God and Life! We turn from evil and begin to do good. But quickly welearn that there is "none good but God." (Mk. 10:18) As Jesus said, "Without Meyou can do nothing." (Jn. 15:5) Thus, we discover the need of prayer. Jesus

spoke of two ways of prayer in Luke 18: the self-righteous Pharisee boasting toGod and himself or the conscience smitten tax collector, beating his breast,asking for mercy. This parable is what led to the most common prayer in theAncient Orthodox Church: the Jesus Prayer. Simply stated it is: "Lord JesusChrist, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner." As we constantly call upon thename of the Lord, we find that progressively we are being saved from our selfishpassions and ways and begin to drink in the mercy of God.

STEP NUMBER EIGHT

I now make a list of all persons I have harmed in thought, word and deed, and a


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list of all persons I believe have harmed me, and seek to make amends to all ofthem

Holy Scripture:Rom 12:18If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. (KJV)

Matt 5:23-26

Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thybrother hath ought against thee; Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thyway; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift. Agreewith thine adversary quickly, whiles thou art in the way with him; lest at anytime the adversary deliver thee to the judge, and the judge deliver thee to theofficer, and thou be cast into prison. Verily I say unto thee, Thou shalt by nomeans come out thence, till thou hast paid the uttermost farthing. (KJV)

Matt 5:43-45Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbor, and hate thineenemy. But I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do goodto them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecuteyou; that ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh

his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and onthe unjust. (KJV)

Luke 19:8And Zacchaeus stood, and said unto the Lord; 'Behold, Lord, the half of my goods Igive to the poor; and if I have taken any thing from any man by false accusation,I restore him fourfold.'"(KJV)

Holy Fathers:St. Peter of Damascus: Philokalia, Vol III, Spurious Knowledge, p.200..By listing the forms of passion that tyrannize us, we are led to take refuge inour Master and brought to a state of contrition. We pray for those whom we havedistressed, and for those who have distressed us, or who will distress us, because

we do not want to harbor the least trace of rancor, and because we fear that onaccount of our weakness we will not be able to endure with forbearance when thetime comes or to pray for those who mistreat us, as the Lord commands (cf.Lk.6:28).

Blessed Theophylact: The Explanation by Blessed Theophylact of the GospelAccording to St. Matthew, pp. 50-51.On "First be reconciled:" God disregards His own honor solely that we might loveone another. He said, "If thy brother have aught against thee," and added nothingmore. Whether rightly or wrongly your brother has anything against you, bereconciled. And Jesus did not say, "If thou hast aught against him," but, "If hehath aught against thee" hasten to make him your friend. He commands you toleave the gift so that you will be compelled to be reconciled. For when you

intend to make an offering, you must first be reconciled. At the same time theLord shows that love is the true sacrifice.

On "Agree with thine adversary quickly..." Some believe the "adversary" to meanthe devil, and "the way" to mean our life. The Lord is thus exhorting us: whileyou are still in this life, give back to the devil what belongs to him and be donewith him, so that later he will not be able to accuse you of some sin, as if youhad something that belonged to him. For then you will be handed over forpunishment so that you make an accounting for even the smallest transgressions.For a farthing equals two mites. You, O reader, understand that this passage alsorefers to human lawsuits, lest we be distracted from doing the works of God. Even


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if you have been wronged, He says, do not enter the court but settle the disputewhile still on the way, lest you suffer something worse on account of youradversary's power.

Blessed Augustine: N&PNF First Series, Vol. 6; The Works of St. Augustine, OurLord's Sermon on the Mount, pp. 12-13.When we are about to present any such offering [whatever offering we present toGod, whether prophecy, or teaching, or prayer, or a psalm, or a hymn, and whatever

other such like spiritual gift occurs to the mind] in our heart, i.e. in the innertemple of God ("for", as it is said, "the temple of God is holy, which temple yeare;" and, "that Christ may dwell in the inner man by faith in your hearts") ifit occur to our mind that a brother hath ought against us, i.e. if we have injuredhim in anything (for then he has something against us; whereas we have somethingagainst him if has injured us, and in that case it is not necessary to proceed toreconciliation: for you will not ask pardon of one who has done you an injury,but merely forgive him, as you desire to be forgiven by the Lord what you havecommitted against Him), we are therefore to proceed to reconciliation, when ithas occurred to our mind that we have perhaps injured our brother in something;but this is to be done not with the bodily feet, but with the emotions of themind, so that you are to prostrate yourself with humble disposition before yourbrother, to whom you have hastened in affectionate thought, in the presence of Him

to whom you are about to present your offering. For thus, even if he should bepresent, you will be able to soften him to goodwill by asking pardon, if first youhave done this before God, going to him not with the slow movement of the body,but with the very swift impulse of love; and then coming, i.e. recalling yourattention to that which you were beginning to do, you will offer your gift.

St. John Chrysostom: N&PNF, First Series, Vol. 11; The Epistle to the Romans,Homily XXII on Rom.12:18, p. 508."If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men." This isthat: "let your light shine before men" (Matt. 5:16), not that we are not to givethose who have a mind for it a handle against us. Whence he says also in anotherplace, "Give none offense, neither to the Jews, nor to the Gentiles, nor to theChurch of God." (1 Cor.10:32). And in what follows he limits his meaning well,

by saying, "If it be possible." For there are cases in which it is not possible,as, for instance, when we have to argue about religion, or to contend for thosewho are wronged. And why be surprised if this be not universally possible in thecase of other persons, when even in the case of man and wife he broke through therule? "But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart." (1 Cor. 7:15). And hismeaning is nearly as follows: Do thine own part, and to none give occasion of waror fighting, neither to Jew nor Gentile. But if you see the cause of religionsuffering anywhere, do not prize concord above truth, but make a noble stand evento death. And even then be not at war in soul, be not averse in temper, but fightwith the things only. For this is the import of "as much as in you lieth, be atpeace with all men." But if the other will not be at peace, do not thou fill thysoul with tempest, but in mind be friendly as I said before, without giving up thetruth on any occasion.

MeditationThe Cross has two primary beams. One reaches up vertically, representing

our relationship with God. The other stretches out horizontally, representing ourrelationship with man. Up until now the previous steps have especially focused onour relationship with God.

Step number eight deals with the horizontal bar. It is the work of dealingwith broken relationships and those that we've offended as we begin the process ofhealing. It starts simply with a list and an inward commitment - a commitment toseek to make amends to all who have been offended at us. This means that we moveaway from blame and fault finding. Instead we search our own souls for the things


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in us that added to or caused the relationship to be broken or hurt. We then letthis sink into our souls so as to develop a humble, softened feeling toward thosewe've offended. This precedes our initial contact for reconciliation.

STEP NUMBER NINE

I now go directly to these persons to seek forgiveness, reconciliation,restitution or release, whenever and with whomever possible, unless to do so would

cause further harm.

Holy Scripture:Eph 4:26:Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither giveplace to the devil. (KJV)

Prov 6:1-5:My son, if thou be surety for thy friend, if thou hast stricken thy hand with astranger, Thou art snared with the words of thy mouth, thou art taken with thewords of thy mouth. Do this now, my son, and deliver thyself, when thou art comeinto the hand of thy friend; go, humble thyself, and make sure thy friend. Givenot sleep to thine eyes, nor slumber to thine eyelids. Deliver thyself as a roe

from the hand of the hunter, and as a bird from the hand of the fowler. (KJV)

Exodus 22:1,6If a man shall steal an ox, or a sheep, and kill it, or sell it; he shall restorefive oxen for an ox, and four sheep for a sheep. If fire break out, and catch inthorns, so that the stacks of corn, or the standing corn, or the field, beconsumed therewith; he that kindled the fire shall surely make restitution.

Leviticus 6:1-5And the Lord spake unto Moses, saying, 'If a soul sin, and commit a trespassagainst the Lord, and lie unto his neighbor in that which was delivered him tokeep, or in fellowship, or in a thing taken away by violence, or hath deceived hisneighbor; or have found that which was lost, and lieth concerning it, and sweareth

falsely; in any of all these things that a man doeth, sinning therein: then itshall be, because he hath sinned, and is guilty, that he shall restore that whichhe took violently away, or the thing which he hath deceitfully gotten, or thatwhich was delivered him to keep, or the lost thing which he found, or all aboutwhich he hath sworn falsely; he shall even restore it in the principal, and shalladd the fifth part more thereto, and give it unto him to whom it appertaineth, inthe day of his trespass offering.'"

Holy Fathers:Archimandrite Seraphim Aleksiev: The Forgotten Medicine: Rules for a SavingConfession, pp. 55-57.

We must pay special attention to the following three points:

1. If you have enmity against someone, forgive with all your heart, so that Godwill also forgive you. (cf. Mt. 6:14-15).. Otherwise, your confession will be invain.

2. Others who have admitted in Confession that they have violated their celibacyor family honor must give up the bad road forever. They cannot love both the sinand God.

A philosopher once went boating in the sea. There was a strong storm whichalmost overturned his boat. It was a miracle that he survived. He came back homeand, since one of his windows was overlooking the sea, immediately walled up thatwindow, so that he would not look towards the sea and fall into the temptation of


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wanting to go boating again.Oh, Christian, how many times you, too, have almost lost both your life and

your soul in the sea of lewd love! You have been delivered by a miracle. Nowavoid the causes for it! Do not go by that road anymore. Do not enter that houseanymore. Do not look toward that window anymore. Close your eyes so that thetemptation will not enter your heart. Otherwise, you will perish!

3. Finally, if you have misappropriated another's possession, if you have robbed

someone, return that which does not belong to you. Otherwise, there is noforgiveness for you.

If you blaspheme God's name, if you deny Orthodoxy, if you are angry, if youare proud, if you envy, or commit other heavy sins - when you repent, everythingwill be forgiven you. Why? Because with all of these sins you offend God, andGod has made the priest His representative for all these sins with which menoffend Him. As God's representative, the priest can forgive you the sins againstGod if you repent.

However, if you keep another's property and confess it but do not return it,the priest does not have the right to forgive you. If you are holding in yourhands the property of some poor man, how can the priest forgive you for this sin?The poor man has not made the priest his substitute and has not given him thepower to forgive his stolen property on his behalf.

But you will say, "I give alms to the monasteries and the poor!" Be quiet!No law, either of God or of man, allows anyone to give away as a gift to someoneanother man's property. Therefore, in order to receive forgiveness from God,return that which does not belong to you!

Abba John the Dwarf: Sayings of the Desert Fathers, #39, p. 93."A house is not built by beginning at the top and working down. You must beginwith the foundations in order to reach the top." They said to him, "What doesthis saying mean?" He said, "The foundation is our neighbor, whom we must win,and that is the place to begin. For all the commandments of Christ depend on thisone."

Abba Anthony the Great: Sayings of the Desert Fathers, #9, p. 3

Our life and our death is with our neighbor. If we gain our brother, we havegained God, but if we scandalize our brother, we have sinned against Christ.

Abba Agathon: Sayings of the Desert Fathers, #4, p. 20.I have never gone to sleep with a grievance against anyone, and, as far as Icould, I have never let anyone go to sleep with a grievance against me.

MeditationTo forgive is to put the offense behind us and to consider the entry erased

on the person's account. To be reconciled is to be reconnected in relationshipand no longer an enemy. To make restitution is to pay back or restore what waslost or broken when something was under our care, or when we stole something. Toseek release is appropriate when so much has happened or so much is owed that

there is no human possibility of repayment. In such a case we seek with deephumility our release from the obligation.

Time does not necessarily heal. But when your attempts at peace only makethings worse, a delay of time can provide you a chance to pray more and canprovide further insight to hidden attitudes in yourself that blockedreconciliation.

STEP NUMBER TEN

I now consciously and prayerfully continue to "walk in the light" by unceasinglytaking personal inventory of all my temptations and sins, and by keeping a


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constantly open relationship with God, myself, and other persons to whom I amaccountable.

Holy Scripture:John 8:31-32Then said Jesus to those Jews which believed on him, If ye continue in my word,then are ye my disciples indeed; and ye shall know the truth, and the truth shallmake you free. (KJV)

Heb 10:35-39Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompense of reward.For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye mightreceive the promise. For yet a little while, and he that shall come will come, andwill not tarry. Now the just shall live by faith: but if any man draw back, mysoul shall have no pleasure in him. But we are not of them who draw back untoperdition; but of them that believe to the saving of the soul. (KJV)

1 John 2:6-11He that saith he abideth in him ought himself also so to walk, even as he walked.Brethren, I write no new commandment unto you, but an old commandment which ye hadfrom the beginning. The old commandment is the word which ye have heard from the

beginning. Again, a new commandment I write unto you, which thing is true in himand in you: because the darkness is past, and the true light now shineth. He thatsaith he is in the light, and hateth his brother, is in darkness even until now.He that loveth his brother abideth in the light, and there is none occasion ofstumbling in him. But he that hateth his brother is in darkness, and walketh indarkness, and knoweth not whither he goeth, because that darkness hath blinded hiseyes. (KJV)

1 John 2:24Let that therefore abide in you, which ye have heard from the beginning. If thatwhich ye have heard from the beginning shall remain in you, ye also shall continuein the Son, and in the Father. (KJV)

2 Cor 13:5Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves. Know ye notyour own selves, how that Jesus Christ is in you, except ye be reprobates? (KJV)

Acts 24:16And herein do I exercise myself, to have always a conscience void of offensetoward God, and toward men. (KJV)

Heb 12:14-17Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord:Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root ofbitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled; Lest there beany fornicator, or profane person, as Esau, who for one morsel of meat sold his

birthright. For ye know how that afterward, when he would have inherited theblessing, he was rejected: for he found no place of repentance, though he soughtit carefully with tears. (KJV)

Holy Fathers:St. Hesychios the Priest: Philokalia, Vol.I; On Watchfulness and Holiness:#65. p.174. St. Basil the Great, mouthpiece of Christ and pillar of the Church,says that a great help towards not sinning and committing daily the same faults isfor us to review in our conscience at the end of each day what we have done wrongand what we have done right. Job did this with regard both to himself and to hischildren. (cf. Job 1:5). These daily reckonings illumine a man's hour by hour


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behavior.#2. p.162 The great lawgiver Moses - or rather, the Holy Spirit - indicates thepure, comprehensive and ennobling character of this virtue [watchfulness], andteaches us how to acquire and perfect it. when he says: " Be attentive toyourself, lest there arise in your heart a secret thing which is an iniquity"(Deut. 15:9 LXX). Here the phrase "a secret thing" refers to the first appearanceof an evil thought. This the Fathers call a provocation introduced into the heartby the devil. As soon as this thought appears in our intellect, our own thoughts

chase after it and enter into impassioned intercourse with it.#8. pp. 163-164. When the mind, taking refuge in Christ and calling upon Him,stands firm and repels its unseen enemies, like a wild beast facing a pack ofhounds from a good position of defense, then it inwardly anticipates their innerambuscades well in advance. Through continually invoking Jesus the peacemakeragainst them, it remains invulnerable.#14-18. pp. 164-165. One type of watchfulness consists in closely scrutinizingevery mental image or provocation; for only by means of a mental image can Satanfabricate an evil thought and insinuate this into the intellect in order to leadit astray.A second type of watchfulness consists in freeing the heart from all thoughts,keeping it profoundly silent and still, and in praying.A third type consists in continually and humbly calling upon the Lord Jesus Christ

for help.A fourth type is always to have the thought of death in one's mind.These types of watchfulness, my child, act like doorkeepers and bar entry to evilthoughts.

MeditationThe key words in Step Number Ten are "continue," "unceasingly," and

"constantly." Fr. Seraphim Rose said that one of the major qualities needed forChristians in these times is constancy. (Not Of This World, Monk DamasceneChristensen; p. 456.) Once someone asked one of the Desert Fathers, "What do youdo all day long?" He simply said, "We fall down and get back up, we fall down andget back up, we fall down and get back up." He, of course, was referring to boththe daily prayers and prostrations, as well as one of the major keys to the

spiritual life: to get back up and continue after a fall.At the end of each day, we confess our sins to God and thank Him for

whatever good occurred that day. As we keep this confessing relationship open andcurrent with others, we thereby shut off our old tendency towards hiding in thedarkness. Through constant practice this becomes an habit and our soul becomesaccustomed to living in the light.

STEP NUMBER ELEVEN

I now continue in regular Scripture study, spiritual reading, prayer, worship andfellowship to increase God's will in my life.

Holy Scripture:

2 Tim 2:15Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed,rightly dividing the word of truth. (KJV)

2 Tim 3:14-17But continue thou in the things which thou hast learned and hast been assured of,knowing of whom thou hast learned them; And that from a child thou hast known theholy Scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faithwhich is in Christ Jesus. All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and isprofitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction inrighteousness: that the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all


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good works. (KJV)

1 Tim 4:13Till I come, give attendance to reading, to exhortation, to doctrine. (KJV)

Acts 2:42, 46-47And they continued steadfastly in the apostles' doctrine and fellowship, and inbreaking of bread, and in prayers. And they, continuing daily with one accord in

the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, did eat their meat withgladness and singleness of heart, praising God, and having favor with all thepeople. And the Lord added to the church daily such as should be saved. (KJV)

1 Thes 5:16-18Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this isthe will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. (KJV)

Eph 5:18-21And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit;speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and makingmelody in your heart to the Lord; giving thanks always for all things unto God andthe Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ; submitting yourselves one to

another in the fear of God. (KJV)

Col 3:14-17Above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. And let thepeace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; andbe ye thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom;teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs,singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. And whatsoever ye do in word ordeed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father byhim. (KJV)

Holy Fathers:St. John Chrysostom: N&PNF, First Series, Vol. 13; Homilies on Ephesians, XIX,

p. 138.Dost thou wish to be cheerful, dost thou wish to employ the day? I give theespiritual drink; for drunkenness even cuts off the articulate sound of ourtongue; it makes us lisp and stammer, and distorts our eyes, and the whole frametogether. Learn to sing psalms, and thou shalt see the delightfulness of theemployment. For they who sing psalms are filled with the Holy Spirit, as they whosing satanic songs are filled with an unclean spirit.

St. John Chrysostom: N&PNF, First Series, Vol. 13; Homilies on Colossians, IX,pp. 300-301.Tarry not, I entreat, for another to teach thee; thou hast the oracles of God.No man teacheth thee as they; for he [the selfish man] indeed oft grudgeth muchfor vainglory's sake and envy. Hearken, I entreat you, all ye that are careful

for this life, and procure books that will be medicines for the soul. If ye willnot any other, yet get you at least the New Testament, the Apostolic Epistles, theActs, the Gospels, for your constant teachers. If grief befall thee, dive intothem as into a chest of medicines; take thence comfort of thy trouble, be itloss, or death, or bereavement of relations; or rather dive into them merely, buttake them wholly to thee; keep them in thy mind. This is the cause of all evils,the not knowing the Scriptures.

Abba Benjamin: Sayings of the Desert Fathers, #4, p.44.As he was dying, Abba Benjamin said to his sons,"If you observe the following, you can be saved, "Be joyful at all times, pray


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without ceasing and give thanks for all things."

MeditationAgain we have the word "continue." Fr. Seraphim Rose spoke of the need for

"daily injections" of inspiration. (NOTW, pp. 456-7) From the earliestdescription of community life among early Christians in the Book of Acts, we findthese elements:

Acts 2: 42: "They continued steadfastly in the Apostles' teaching..."This is the place of Scripture study and spiritual reading. Reading the Gospelsand Epistles is like listening to the Apostles telling us the story of Christ andChristianity personally. Reading the writings of the Holy Fathers and lives ofsaints inspires us as to how to put the teaching into practice.

"... and fellowship." The Greek word "koinonia" meant "common life" or lifeshared together. Even those that were called to be hermits still saw themselvesas part of the Church community. Their prayers weren't only beneficial for theirown souls, but for the whole world as well. Wherever we are, let's gather withlike minded strugglers and share this common life.

"...the Breaking of Bread." Their worship was centered around the Body and Blood

of Christ. Repentance and confession removed the sins, but the Body and Blood ofChrist brought in the very Divine nature to the souls of the Christians. HisDivine Life united them with "oneness of soul." Now they had power to live adifferent kind of life.

"...and to Prayers." Prayer personally and together is our lifeline. St. Paulsaid, "Pray without ceasing." (1 Thess. 5:17) The early Christians used to stopfor prayer every three hours. Their life together was centered around morning andevening prayer. We know how easily temptations of this world can be to pull usaway. A daily momentum of prayer together gives us strength "not to be overcomeby evil, but to overcome evil with good." (Rom. 12:21)

STEP NUMBER TWELVE

Recognizing the impact of God in my life, I now intentionally share theseprinciples and their effect with others as God's Spirit leads, and will seek topractice these principles in all areas of my life.

Holy Scripture:Matt 5:14-16Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid.Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick;and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Let your light so shinebefore men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is inheaven. (KJV)

Acts 1:8But ye shall receive power, after that the Holy Ghost is come upon you: and yeshall be witnesses unto me both in Jerusalem, and in all Judaea, and in Samaria,and unto the uttermost part of the earth. (KJV)

Acts 2:46-47And they, continuing daily with one accord in the temple, and breaking bread fromhouse to house, did eat their meat with gladness and singleness of heart, praisingGod, and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to the church dailysuch as should be saved. (KJV)


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Acts 19:17-20And this was known to all the Jews and Greeks also dwelling at Ephesus; and fearfell on them all, and the name of the Lord Jesus was magnified. And many thatbelieved came, and confessed, and shewed their deeds. Many of them also whichused curious arts brought their books together, and burned them before all men:and they counted the price of them, and found it fifty thousand pieces of silver.So mightily grew the word of God and prevailed. (KJV)

Col 4:5-6Walk in wisdom toward them that are without, redeeming the time. Let your speechbe always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answerevery man. (KJV)

1 Pet 3:15-16But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer toevery man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness andfear: Having a good conscience; that, whereas they speak evil of you, as ofevildoers, they may be ashamed that falsely accuse your good conversation inChrist. (KJV)

1 Cor 9:24-27

Know ye not that they which run in a race run all, but one receiveth the prize? Sorun, that ye may obtain. And every man that striveth for the mastery is temperatein all things. Now they do it to obtain a corruptible crown; but we anincorruptible. I therefore so run, not as uncertainly; so fight I, not as one thatbeateth the air: But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest thatby any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway. (KJV)

2 Tim 1:6-7Wherefore I put thee in remembrance that thou stir up the gift of God, which is inthee by the putting on of my hands. For God hath not given us the spirit of fear;but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. (KJV)

Holy Fathers:

Blessed Clement of Alexandria: Ante-Nicene Fathers, Vol. 2; The Stromata, BookOne, Chapter I, p.302.Wells, when pumped out, yield purer water; and that of which no one partakes,turns to putrefaction. Use keeps steel brighter, but disuse produces rust in it.For, in a word, exercise produces a healthy condition both in souls and bodies."No one lighteth a candle, and putteth it under a bushel, but upon a candlestick,that it may give light to those who are regarded worthy of the feast."

Blessed Theophylact: The Explanation by Blessed Theophylact of the Holy Gospelaccording to St. Matthew, p. 47."A city that is set on a hill cannot be hid." He teaches them to struggle and tobe strict in living a virtuous life, for they will be in view of all. Do notimagine, He says, that you will be hidden away in some corner, for you will be

most visible. See to it, then, that you live blamelessly, lest you become astumbling block for others.

Athenagoras: The Early Christians; A Plea Regarding Christians, XI, pp. 96-97.Among us you can find uneducated people, artisans, and dear old mothers who wouldnot be able to put into words the usefulness of their teaching, but by their deedsthey demonstrate the usefulness of their principles. They do not repeat wordslearned by heart, but they show good deeds: when hit they do not hit back, whenrobbed they do not go to court, they give to those who ask, and they love theirfellowmen as themselves.


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Justin Martyr: The Early Christians; Dialogue With Trypho, 110:3,4, pp. 97-98.We do not give up our confession though we be executed by the sword, though we becrucified, thrown to wild beasts, put in chains, and exposed to fire and everyother kind of torture. Everyone knows this. On the contrary, the more we arepersecuted and martyred, the more do others in ever-increasing numbers becomebelievers and God-fearing men through the name of Jesus.

Justin Martyr: The Early Christians; First Apology XVI, p.98.

He challenged us to lead everyone away from shamefulness and pleasure in evil bypatience and kindness. We can in fact show that many who were once among you havebeen transformed in this way. They gave up their violent and domineering ways.Either they were conquered by the sight of their neighbors' patient life. or theywere convinced by noticing the extraordinary kindness and patience of somedefrauded traveling companions, or they were overcome by encountering and testingthis attitude in people with whom they had business dealings.

St. Clement of Rome: The Early Christians; 2nd Letter of Clement, p.275.Those who are lost must be saved. It is a great and wonderful thing to support,not what is standing, but what is collapsing. Thus it was the Messiah's will tosave what was lost, and He saved many when He came and called us who were alreadylost. What then can we offer Him in return as our thanks and recompense? Only

this, that we confess Him through whom we were saved! But how do we confess Him?By doing what He says and not ignoring His commandments so that we honor Him notonly with our lips but rather with all our heart and soul.

So then, brothers, let us confess Him with our actions by loving oneanother, by not committing adultery, not speaking evil of each other, and notbeing envious, and by being self-controlled, compassionate and kind! We ought tosuffer together the things which are hard to bear. It is our obligation not tolove money. We want to confess Him with such actions and not do the opposite.

MeditationIn a darkened room, any dim flicker will appear bright. As we begin to

purify ourselves, the light of Jesus Christ will inevitably spark others aroundus. St. Seraphim of Sarov said, "Acquire inward peace and thousands around you

will be saved." Someone once said, "You might be the only Bible some people willever read." May we be given grace and strength to do the hard work of purifyingour hearts so that others might have the opportunity of salvation.

"The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Love of God the Father, and the communionof the Holy Spirit, be with you all." Amen.

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