12 METHODS OF DE-ESCALATION

Preventing a bad attitude from becoming a troubling situation

WHY IS ESCALATION BAD?

Lost learning time

Dangers to the kids

Dangers to the adults

WHAT NOT TO DO

Coach loses his/her cool

“The Teacher Look”

Talk Talk Talk Barrage of words Loud voice, harsh tonality Lecture about right and wrong Attempts to reason or persuade Threats of punishment/consequences Minimizing hurt or angry feelings Accusations

PROVE YOU CARE!

A child won’t care what you know until he knows that you care.

Think about the ways that you show your students that you care about

them

Knowing their names!

Expressing concerns over a bandage

Asking if they are better after missing previous class

In chess class, bring in an item (book, magazine, diagram) that relates to something (ideally a chess position) that you discussed with your student in the

previous class.

STAY CALM, NEVER TAKE IT PERSONALLY

Children who act out in class are often looking for an emotional response; they want to engage you so they can receive your attention.

The more demonstrative the child, the calmer, yet understanding,

the teacher.

Class management is NOT student management – don’t allow the child to set the tone for the class.

Use neutral posturing and body language.

BE CLEAR, CRYSTAL CLEAR

There should be no question as to what is acceptable and

what is not.

Class rules should be written when possible with specifics: Don’t use generalities like “Be respectful” Instead give 2 rules – “Don’t talk or disrupt your classmates when the teacher is talking” and “Always display excellent sportsmanship before, during, and after your game.”

PAUSE SILENTLY

Say a management request ONE time. Once is

enough.

Freeze your body and stop talking.

Focus only on the goal (look to the demo board or

lesson book)Steadfastly and pleasantly look at the goal and not the student.

BACK OFF

Give kids time to cool off and reset.

Believe, truly believe that they need and deserve

this courtesy

Meanwhile, get busy elsewhere

LOUD, then Soft

When the class (or a single child) is about to lose control, get attention with a sudden, short sound - “Cool!” or “Oh boy!” - followed by a volume that decreases with each word (showing the class where you want their volume to be).

“Cool! THAT was a creative move.”

TEACH VIRTUES

Not a lecture, this is an action towards creating a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts.

“Catch” a child displaying a virtue, even if for just a fleeting moment, and recognize it during chess class, in front of everyone.

For example, George has been making his moves instantly, with running insults of his opponent’s uninspired play, when he slips into a brief moment of thought. You seize the opportunity (the moment might be passing as you approach, but you can re-enact it) to praise George’s pensive nature.

MOVE SLOWLY

Just as moving quickly and excitedly in a chess game will often prompt the same from your opponent, moving slowly can have the same effect.

Move slowly towards a disturbance in the class. This says “This is not a big deal, and we are going to be calm.” Also, it does not draw extra attention to an action that you would prefer to not be repeated by another student.

TAKE A REFRESHING BREAK

Suggest that the student(s) get a drink of water, or check the window to see if they can see any clouds.

Coaches sometimes need a break as much (or more) than the student!

PRACTICE IN ADVANCE

Just like we practice fire drills (or tornado drills in Kansas and earthquake drills in California), think about the most likely times during chess team meetings that conflict can erupt and practice handling those times with a calm professionalism.

Shaking hands before, and especially after, a game. Show the kids (demonstratively) how you might feel when you lose, then how you would act, nonetheless. Then ask them to play the part of my conqueror and come up with some comments to compliment my losing effort sincerely.

Touch move situations are another great situation that requires practice. Each player needs to pretend that their opponent touched a piece and refused to admit it. Show how the plaintiff calmly raises a hand, then waits for the coach/TD to inquire as to what is the issue.

ASK FOR HELP

This technique can be used as a quick distraction or as a regular occurrence, either as a pre-emptive effort or as a somewhat scheduled event (when the student has tired of playing chess or, when a child displays a strong need to feel needed).

Easy examples of Asking for Help during chess team meetings include asking a student to help train or test a new student, set up the demo board, or gather the workbooks and/or pencils, etc.

CHANGE POSITION

This can be a very powerful tool for a teacher – moving students around, inviting them to the floor, moving yourself, switching chairs, etc.

Position also refers to POSTURE. Your posture must match your message.

For brief discussions after an incident, stand NEXT to the student, not across (like an opponent), with no eye contact, and ask something caring, like “Today is turning out to be a pretty rough day, isn’t it?”

In chess team meetings, we can often employ the easy solution of switching pairings, or even turning the board around if our student is frustrated by constantly losing (flipping the board around will suddenly put your student in your position – winning!)