How to Avoid, Handle, and Solve Conflict

By Shawna Strickland and Jordan Weimar

Communication is the basis for any relationship.

Keep it positive by talking to your roomie before things get unbearable. You’ll be surprised how much better it will go!

If you feel like you need help starting the conversation, see your RA.

Don’t forget to talk anything and everything, not just when there might be a problem. Roomies are friends, too!

Realize that you’re both sharing a very small

space.If your roomie comes to you about something,

try to see it from their point of view as well. COMPROMISE is necessary from both sides.

You’ll need to give some thought to what you can improve, too.

Try to give all situations a win-win outcome. Remember, you’re in this together!

Remember those contracts you wrote at the beginning of the year? Take a moment to revisit those or create a new one.

Respect your roomie’s boundaries, both within the room and in lifestyle.

You’ll both make new friends, and remember to respect your roomie’s new pals, too.

If you’re an early bird, considering leaving a small light on at night and being understanding of a late sleeper in the morning.

If you’re a night owl, come back when you’re ready to settle in for the night. Avoid bringing fellow night owls over after roomie’s bedtime.

For both, try to avoid hitting “Snooze” too often.

Remember to turn your alarm off on the weekends, too.

No one likes a faker. After all, who likes Paris Hilton?

Be yourself no matter what. It will make addressing the issues easier in the end.

Learn to appreciate the differences in your personalities. Opposites attract, right?

Every roomie has some awesome stuff, but remember to ask before touching.

It’s important to actually abide by equitable division of goodies if you’re splitting the expense.

Before wearing your roomie’s favorite shirt to a hot and sweaty club, think how you’d feel if you didn’t get it back for weeks.

Okay, so we’re not talking abstinence, just boundaries.

If roomie is present, tone down the PDA.Avoid sexiling your roommate. No one likes to

be in the lobby alone at two in the morning.Define what is ok in terms of overnight

visitors, and respect those terms.Split up the fun between your room and your

significant other’s place, too.Practice safe sex, but dispose of the evidence.

Devise a plan to switch trash duties, then stick to it.

Don’t let one person get stuck with the dirty deed, whether it’s taking out the trash and recycling or vacuuming the room, etc.

If you need to clear space in the bathroom for the custodian, remember to take care of your own stuff.

When a room smells more like a dumpster than a living area, it’s a bad sign.

Try to avoid dirty clothes everywhere. Nothing is less exciting than stepping on dirty underwear.

If you want to be messy, try to keep it on your side of the room.

Do unto others as they want done unto them.

Know that everyone does things differently, from handling conflict to eating their cereal.

Respecting these differences and treating your roomie as they want to be treated will set you both up for a positive experience.

Thank you for using this bulletin board! Jordan and I both hope that you will find it helpful and useful on your floor. Please let us know if you do post the board; it’s always nice to hear about its success!

Shawna: slstrick@holly.colostate.eduJordan and I are both second year RAs in Parmelee

Hall at Colorado State University in Fort Collins. (Fall 2008)

At RA training, summer 2008. 80s workout theme day!