1 Verbal Verbal 4: Inter-Act, 13 th Edition 4: Inter-Act, 13 th Edition.
1 SupportingSupporting 9: Inter-Act, 13 th Edition 9: Inter-Act, 13 th Edition.
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Transcript of 1 SupportingSupporting 9: Inter-Act, 13 th Edition 9: Inter-Act, 13 th Edition.
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SupportingSupportingSupportingSupporting
9: Inter-Act, 139: Inter-Act, 13thth Edition Edition
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The cognitive and affective process of perceiving the
emotions others are feeling and then acting on our
perception
EmpathizingEmpathizing
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3 Types of Empathy3 Types of Empathy
• Empathic Responsiveness
• Perspective Taking
• Sympathetic Responsiveness
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Empathy – Empathy – the cognitive and affective process of perceiving the emotions others are feeling and then acting on our perception
Empathic response – Empathic response – an emotional response parallel to another person’s actual or anticipated display of emotion
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Perspective Perspective TakingTaking
Imaging oneself in the place of another
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Sympathetic Sympathetic ResponsivenessResponsiveness
Feeling concern, compassion, or sorrow for another person because he/she is in a distressing situation
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Guidelines for Improving Guidelines for Improving EmpathyEmpathy
• Take time and make the effort to understand people.
• Pay attention to nonverbal and paralanguage cues.
• Pay attention to the emotional content of the verbal message.
• Employ one of the three types of empathy.
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Supportive MessagesSupportive Messages• Social support: providing emotional,
informational, and instrumental resources
• Supportive messages: communications that provide intangible support for your partner, including emotional support, information, advice, and motivation
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Effective Support Effective Support MessagesMessages
• Clearly state the aim to help the other.
• Express acceptance, love, and affection for the other.
• Demonstrate care, concern, and interest in the other’s situation.
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Effective Support Effective Support Messages (contMessages (cont’’d)d)
• Indicate that you are available to listen and support the other.
• State that you are an ally.• Acknowledge the other’s feelings and
situation and express sincere sympathy.
• Assure the other that feelings are legitimate.
• Encourage the other to elaborate.
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Ineffective Support Ineffective Support MessagesMessages
• Condemn and criticize the other’s feelings and behavior.
• Imply that the other’s feelings are not warranted.
• Tell the other how to feel.
• Focus attention on yourself.
• Impose advice on a relative stranger.
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Supporting Positive FeelingsSupporting Positive Feelings• Capitalization: sharing successes and leveraging
the good feelings with the expectation that others will celebrate with us
• Active-constructive: celebratory messages whose goal is to leverage partner’s positive feelings that stem from a happy event or accomplishment
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Supporting Negative FeelingsSupporting Negative Feelings• Comforting messages: active, constructive
feedback whose goal is to alleviate or lessen emotional distress
• Supporting skills include empathizing.
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Supportive Interaction Supportive Interaction PhasesPhases
• Phase One: Support Activation
• Phase Two: Support Provision
• Phase Three: Target Reaction
• Phase Four: Helper Responses
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Clarifying Supportive Clarifying Supportive IntentionsIntentions
• Directly state your intentions by emphasizing your desire to help.
• Remind your partner of your commitment to the relationship.
• Indicate that helping is your only motive.
• Phrase your clarification in a way that reflects helpfulness.
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Buffering Face ThreatsBuffering Face Threats• Face-threatening act (FTA): a statement of
support that a person in need may interpret as a threat to his or her public self-image
• Positive facework: providing messages that affirm a person or a person’s actions in a difficult situation to protect his or her respectability and approval
• Negative facework: providing messages that offer information, opinions, or advice to protect a person's freedom and privacy
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Positive FaceworkPositive Facework
• Describe and convey positive feelings about what the other has said and done.
• Express your admiration for his or her courage.
• Acknowledge the difficulty of the situation.• Express your belief that the other has the
qualities and skills needed to endure.
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Negative FaceworkNegative Facework• Ask for permission before giving
advice.
• Verbally defer to the opinions and preferences of the other person.
• Use tentative language to hedge and qualify opinions and advice.
• Offer suggestions indirectly.
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Using Other-Centered Using Other-Centered MessagesMessages
• Ask questions that prompt the person to elaborate on what happened.
• Emphasize your willingness to listen to an extended story.
• Use vocalized encouragement and nonverbal behavior to communicate continued interest.
• Affirm, legitimize, and encourage exploration of feelings expressed by partner.
• Demonstrate that you understand, but avoid changing the focus to you.
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FramingFraming
The skill of providing support by offering information,
observations, and opinions that enable the receiver to better
understand or see his/her situation in a different light
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Giving AdviceGiving Advice• Ask for permission to give advice.• Word the message as one of many
suggestions in a way that the recipient can understand.
• Present any potential risks or costs associated with the following the advice.
• Indicate that you will not be offended if the other chooses to ignore your recommendation.
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Social Support via Social Support via Social MediaSocial Media
• Advantages
• Creates social distance
• Hear from people around the world
• Useful for introverted, shy, or lonely
• Easier to manage messages
• Crosses age/status/education boundaries
• Time/place less important
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Gender and Cultural Gender and Cultural SimilaritySimilarity
• Desire to be comforted is universal.
• Both men and women place high value on emotional support from partners.
• Little difference reported between genders or among cultures
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CultureCulture• European-Americans believe that
openly discussing feelings is valuable.
• Americans are more sensitive to other-centered messages than are Chinese.
• Chinese view avoidance strategies as more appropriate than Americans.
• Chinese and American married people view emotional support provided by their spouses as most important.