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REWARDS WRITING:

Sentence Refinement

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Anita Archer, Ph.D.

Mary Gleason, Ph.D.

Steve Isaacson, Ph.D.

Published by Sopris WestGo to www.rewardsreading.com or

www.sopriswest.com

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REWARDS WRITING:Sentence Refinement

Multi-module writing program Intermediate and Secondary Students Modules on:

Sentence Refinement Informational Writing Persuasive Writing and other genres

Procedures consistent with Writing Next (Graham & Perin, 2007)

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REWARDS WRITING:Sentence Refinement

Sentence Refinement

Supplementary program 75 mini-lessons 20 to 30 minutes a day

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REWARDS WRITING:Sentence Refinement

Goals Students will be assisted in:

1. selecting more precise, interesting words, (Word choice)

2. improving the quality, sophistication, and variety of their sentences, and(Sentence Fluency)

3. editing sentences and paragraphs.

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REWARDS WRITING:Sentence Refinement (Paragraph of 6th grader)

My father and I wanted to go fishing. We went to the campgrounds. We put up a tent. We put out our sleeping bags. We set up a camp kitchen. Then we went fishing. We fished every day. I caught 11 trout. My father caught 24 trout. It was a good trip.

Little variety in sentence length or complexity, good deal of repetition, limited word choice.

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REWARDS WRITING:Sentence Refinement (Desired outcome)

For several years, my father and I had dreamed of fishing together. In August, we traveled to the Cascade Mountains to fulfill our dream. My father reserved a campsite at a beautiful, secluded lake. When we arrived at our spot, we quickly assembled a small pup tent, spread out our warm down sleeping bags, and fashioned a temporary outdoor kitchen. When we finished creating our camp, we headed for the lake with our sturdy fishing poles. By the end of the week, I caught 11 humongous trout by using marshmallows for bait. My father is an experienced fisherman, so he caught 24 trout that week. The highlights of the trip were spending a whole week in the mountains with my father and catching my first trout.

Better word choice, additional information, sentences combined, more sophisticated sentences.

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REWARDS WRITING:Sentence Refinement

Three major strands:1. Sharpening Your Word Choices

2. Polishing Your Sentences

3. Editing Your Paragraph

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See the Tour of Book page.

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REWARDS WRITING:Sharpening Your Word Choices

Goal--

Students will: select more precise words, move away from overused words, and match subjects and verbs.

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REWARDS WRITING:Sharpening Your Word Choices

Students select words that are more precise, grammatically correct, and more interesting by using the Word Choice Help Book.

He walked into the big building. He wandered into an enormous department store.

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REWARDS WRITING:Sharpening Your Word Choices

Students edit sentences by replacing common, overused adjectives.

nice, big, bad, pretty, hot, little, smart, cold, good, happy, terrible, funny, dirty, wonderful, scared, sad, old, clean, mean, hard

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REWARDS WRITING:Sharpening Your Word Choices

Students edit sentences by replacing common, overused verbs.

made, liked, walked, ran, ate, took, grew, got, went, saw, knew, used, gave, let, said, had, lived, talked, found, stayed, wanted, put, helped, build, thought

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REWARDS WRITING:Sharpening Your Word Choices

Students will also:

replace general nouns with specific nouns (building vs. department store) and

check subject-verb agreement.

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REWARDS WRITING:Sharpening Your Word Choices

See examples.

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REWARDS WRITING:Polishing your Sentences

Goal -- Students will polish sentences: by combining ideas into one sentence

OR by expanding sentences through answering

questions such as when, where, why, and how.

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REWARDS WRITING:Polishing Your Sentences

Sentence-Combining Activities

Recommended in Writing Next (Graham & Perin, 2007)

Have positive effect on students’ writing(Evans, Venotozzi, Bundrick, & McWilliams, 1988; Howie, 1979; Kanellas, Carifio & Dagostino, 1998; Pedersen, 1977; Saddler & Graham, 2005; Stoddard, 1982)

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REWARDS WRITING:Polishing Your Sentences

Sentence-Combining Activities

Students start with a stem sentence and combine it with one to four other sentences.

Try out the following items with your partner.

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REWARDS WRITING:Polishing Your Sentences

Start: Linda grabbed a seat.

Add: Bobby grabbed a seat.

Add: The seats were adjoining.

Add: The seats were on the bus.

Add: The bus was crowded.

Create:

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REWARDS WRITING:Polishing Your Sentences

Start: As the cubs grow fur, they spend periods of time outside the den.

Add: The fur is thicker.

Add: The periods of time are short.

Add: The den is warm.

Add: The den is protective.

Create:

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REWARDS WRITING:Polishing Your Sentences

Start: Jared will finish shopping for school supplies.

Add: He will shop this afternoon.

Add: He will shop at the mall.

Create:

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REWARDS WRITING:Polishing Your Sentences

Start: Everyone ate birthday cake.

Add: The birthday cake was chocolate.

Add: Everyone ate vanilla ice cream.

Add: Everyone ate candy.

Create:

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REWARDS WRITING:Polishing Your Sentences

Start: Porcupine caribou are large mammals.

Add: Porcupine caribou are hoofed mammals.

Add: They live in northern Canada.

Add: They live in eastern Alaska.

(Use that to make one sentence.)

Create:

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REWARDS WRITING:Polishing Your Sentences

See examples.

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REWARDS WRITING:Editing your Paragraph

Goal -- Students will edit paragraphs by using a strategy called SCORE.

Sense (sounds good) Combining ideas Omitting unnecessary words or sentences Replacing overused words, less precise words, or

grammatically incorrect words Expanding sentences through questions such as

when, where, why, and how

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REWARDS WRITING:Editing Your Paragraph

Revising The writer focuses on the “big picture” by asking questions such as: Did I include all the necessary information or arguments? Is my product well-organized? Do I need to move or delete any sections of my product?

Editing The writer focuses on the quality of the sentences.

Proofreading The writer carefully checks the conventions, including punctuation, spelling, and capitalization.

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REWARDS WRITING:Editing Your Paragraph - SCORE Strategy

S = Sound good? (Does your paragraph sound good? Do your sentences sound good?)

C = Combine? (Could you combine sentences into one sentence so that the paragraph is more interesting and has fewer repeated words?)

O = Omit? (Could you omit words, phrases, or sentences because they don’t go with the topic or add to the quality of your paragraph?)

R = Replace? (Could you replace overused words, less precise words, or grammatically incorrect words?)

E = Expand? (Could you create more complete, interesting sentences by answering some of the following questions in: when, where why, and how?)

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REWARDS WRITING:Editing Your Paragraph

See examples.