1. Please fill out the registration form

2. Print you name on certificate so it can be signed.

3. Return both to the baskets on the table.

You will take a certificate home after they are signed.

3. Take a Workbook and trifold brochure.

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Lord, we ask you to open our minds, help us to be protectors of children, give us the wisdom and strength to be knowledgeable about these terrible sins, yet filled with hope and courage move forward to make this world a safe and loving place.

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ProtectingGod’s Children

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Effects of Abuse

Some felt dirty & ugly Ashamed of themselves Confused, don’t comprehend it or know what to

do Feeling that everyone “knows” Problems with relationships Substance abuse, depression Aggressive & violent behaviors, temper, anger Self-abuse, suicide attempts Many won’t discuss until adulthood, some

never… Abuse is never the child’s fault !

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Reasons children don’t tell: Afraid no one will believe them

They don’t know whom to tell Fear getting into trouble or afraid to make their

parents angry. Victim is controlled by / dependent on abuser May have been threatened. Molester is an adult – adults have power. They may want to protect the abuser. “Grooming” / special attention - makes the child

feel cared about or loved, may they trust and even “love” the abuser - lack of understanding

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“Grooming”A means to gain control and cooperation

by using progressive steps. a. ) Physical:

Subtle - Gradual – Progressive touching –

Goal of becoming more and more familiar.

b.) Psychological: Gradually shows attention, - develops friendship

Creates a sense of dependence through a “special relationship .”

Tries to create a “wedge” between the child and the parents.

c. ) Community: Offender has gained much respect and trust of the adults in the child’s life

Often community is outraged that offender is accused.

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About the Perpetrators: They “Plan” & they are patient They “blend” with community They get jobs & find ways to be around children Most abusers are male; married or have been married

Have the trust of parents & children. They think the rules don’t apply to them *** May use their own children to gain access. Most are either bisexual or heterosexual Could be any age, male or female, even another child Most abusers will never be caught Disordered thinking :

“They love the children “They are educating the children about sex.” “The child initiated the contact” or “The child failed to resist

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How common is abuse?

1 of 5 women 1 of 10 men were sexually abused by age

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10% of all males

20% of all females *

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Myths Myth: Children usually lie about

child sexual abuse. Myth: There is a relationship

between sexual abuse and the parent’s income or education.

Myth: Priests abuse children because of celibacy.

Myth: Most sexual abusers are homosexual. Myth: Strangers are responsible for most child sexual abuse. 10

Video 2

A PlanTo Protect

God’s Children

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Step One – Know the Warning Signs

More excited to be with children than adults Discourages other adults from participating,

always wants to be alone with children.They don’t follow the rules! Wants to wrestle or tickle, goes overboard

touching, very physical. Allows children to engage in activities their

parents would not allow, breaking curfew, allowing smoking, drugs or alcohol.

Swearing or tells dirty jokes / pornography, talking about sex, seemingly “relating to teens”.

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NOT warning signs…., Dedicated volunteerism Generosity with time Always ready to help Loves working with children Affectionate people Willing to work extra hours, and go the

extra mile Great teachers who “reach kids” Always being “the 1st one” to volunteer

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Step 2 – Controlling Access Being Careful about whom we allow to work

with our children sends a strong message. Following safe Human Resource guidelines

creates a “culture of safety” in the parish Interviews, Sterling Background checks,

training in Child Sexual Abuse Awareness. Be a positive role model for others who

are resentful of the new guidelines

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Step 3 – Monitoring Programs

If a child can be separated or secluded during the operations of a program, it is not a safe program.

Child Molesters need the opportunity to abuse – time alone with a child.

Identify activities and games—specific activities involving adults and young people—that should be modified or eliminated (e.g., to eliminate potentially intimate touching such as tickling or wrestling).

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Step 4 – Being Aware of what is going on…

Pay attention to subtle signs - pay attention to “gut feelings”

“They can tell you anything” We need to talk about sex with our kids

with the right words. Emphasize that they won’t get in

trouble by telling you. Notice sudden changes in behavior

moody or aggressive lose interest in school stop taking care of their personal hygiene

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Take seriously - always do something…. Warning signs don’t mean the person is a

sex offender, but……these are red flags” Discuss concerns with supervisor…Don’t

discuss with peers (gossip).

Step 5 – Communicate Concerns What should you do when you see warning signs?

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If You Suspect Abuse: Call Authorities !!!

Report on Suspicion – not proof.

Report – Don’t investigate, leave that to law enforcement.

NJ Law requires reporting suspicions of abuse: DYFS

& County Prosecutors18

Virtus.org This one-time session is designed to

raise awareness and to begin shifting attitudes about sexual abuse.

Continuing education is needed to support and achieve the goal of creating safe environments.

Available to you on the Virtus website!

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