Class 29Ewrt 1A

Agenda: In-Class Writing: Writing Workshop: Editing

You should have one clean copy of your revised draft.

Revision StrategiesEliminating passive voice

Eliminating Passive VoiceMake your sentences act up!

Eliminating Passive Voice

• A passive construction occurs when you make the object of an action into the subject of a sentence. That is, whoever or whatever is performing the action is not the grammatical subject of the sentence. Take a look at this passive rephrasing of a familiar joke:• Why was the road crossed by the chicken?

Why was the road crossed by the chicken?

• Who is doing the action in this sentence? The chicken is the one doing the action in this sentence, but the chicken is not in the spot where you would expect the grammatical subject to be. Instead, the road is the grammatical subject. The more familiar phrasing (why did the chicken cross the road?) puts the actor in the subject position, the position of doing something—the chicken (the actor/doer) crosses the road (the object). We use active verbs to represent that "doing," whether it be crossing roads, proposing ideas, making arguments, or invading houses.

• Once you know what to look for, passive constructions are easy to spot. Look for a form of "to be” (is, are, am , was, were, has been, have been, had been, will be, will have been, being), followed by a past participle or a verb in the progressive tense.

It was determinedWe were invitedShe was runningHe is singing

Past Participle/Progressive Tense

The past participle is a form of the verb that typically, but not always, ends in "-ed." Some exceptions to the "-ed" rule are words like "paid" (not "payed") and "driven." (not "drived").

A progressive verb ends in “ing”: running, singing, dancing.

Can you rewrite these in the active voice?

• The metropolis has been scorched by the dragon's fiery breath.• When her house was invaded, Penelope had to think of

ways to delay her remarriage.

How to change passive constructions into active ones:

• Switch the word order, making the actor and subject one by putting the actor up front:• “The metropolis has been scorched by the dragon's

fiery breath” becomes• The dragon scorched the metropolis with his fiery

breath.• “When her house was invaded, Penelope had to think

of ways to delay her remarriage” becomes• After suitors invaded her house, Penelope had to

think of ways to delay her remarriage.

Change a “to be” verb and a progressive tense verb into the active voice when possible.

• I was singing while she did the dishes.• I sang while she did the dishes.

• I was running from the monster.• I ran from the monster.

• I was dancing all night long. • I danced all night long.

Practice• It was located in the typical, newly built high school

that favored its athletic department due to all the banners that were hung up on the walls.• There were eight blue tables, which were always dirty, lined

up in the patio.• The air was filled with the competitive spirit as our rival

school had come to our town to play basketball. • The San Marino High School Gym was filled with incessant

cheering, and the bleachers were filled from side to side. • There were posters and banners across every wall, and they

made the gym look like an art gallery made of paper.

• It was located in the typical, newly built high school that favored its athletic department due to all the banners that were hung up on the walls.• The newly built high school, which housed the

event, favored its athletic department; colorful banners decorated virtually every wall of the gym.• There were eight blue tables, which were always

dirty, lined up in the patio.• Eight perpetually-dirty, blue tables lined the patio.•

• The air was filled with the competitive spirit as our rival school had come to our town to play basketball. • The sounds of competitive spirit filled the air; our rival

school had come to our town to play basketball.

• The San Marino High School Gym was filled with incessant cheering, and the bleachers were filled from side to side. • Incessant cheering filled the San Marino High School Gym;

students crowded into the bleachers.

• There were posters and banners across every wall, and they made the gym look like an art gallery made of paper.• Posters and banners hung from every wall, making the gym

look like an art gallery made of paper.

Get out a copy of your draft• Eliminate passive voice in your

essay: Look for a form of "to be” (is, are, am , was, were, has been, have been, had been, will be, will have been, being) followed by a past participle (a verb ending in “ed” or “en”). • It was eaten by John: John ate it.

• Also, look for “to be” verbs followed by progressive verb forms (verbs ending in “ing”)• Mary was singing: Mary sang.

HomeworkPost #34: Provide ten examples of how you eliminated the passive voice and “to be” verbs in essay #3.Write both the old and new versions of the sentence.