Adapted from M. Mahler, The Psychological Birth of a Human Infant (1985) [Videotape]. Franklin Lakes, NJ: Mahler Research Foundation Library.

The Psychological Birth of the Human Infant

The Separation - Individuation Process Of Margaret Mahler

I. Pre Separation Individuation [Birth-3 mo.]

A. First few weeks of life Child seeks and establishes connection with

mother and tunes to the mothers rhythms.

B. Next few weeks Engages in mutual attunement and reciprocity. Mahler

assumes that the child is in symbiosis with mother (unable to differentiate

self from mother/feeling of oneness).

II. Differentiation Psychological Hatching [4-9 mo.]

A. Differentiation begins in earnest around 4 to 5 months. At this point the

child doesnt focus solely on mother when in the mothers presence, but

begins to focus on other things, objects, and other people when in the

mothers presence. By 5 months attachment takes place. The child has

formed a preferential link with mother or other significant caregivers.

B. Exploratory body movements help the child to identify his or her own body

boundaries. By six months the child explores both the mother and non-

mother. This examination and comparative scanning helps to sharpen the

childs definition of the mother.

C. By seven or eight months the childs more sophisticated movement skills

and intense interest in the environment set the child off on journeys away

from the loved one. This child can sit up by self and move around by self.

The child is fully hatched.

D. Stranger anxiety shows up now as the child becomes aware of the

concept of stranger. As the child learns to differentiate loved one from

other, a deeper sense of attachment takes place.

2

E. By eight to nine months the child shows distress when mother is absent.

The assumption is that the child retains an image of a loved one when

absent, or a memory of a pleasant or contented feeling state when in the

loved ones presence. This is a clear sign of the awareness of

differentiation. A sense of self as separate from loved one.

III. Practicing: Being at a distance from loved one, but not alone [10-15 mo.] A. At about ten months, the child becomes fascinated with the ability to

stand, move away from loved one, play on ones own and explore

attributes of people and others.

B. The child seeks contact with loved one from a distance. Being looked at

by the loved one from a distance is important and facilitates the childs

continued interest in the outside world and gives the child the emotional

strength to be separate.

C. When the child is away from the loved one for too long he or she will

return. This Mahler calls emotional refueling. Giving this attention, at the

demand of the child, is important. In order for the child to go out in the

world without high levels of anxiety and fear, the child needs to know that

the loved one is there to comfort when tired, to sooth the bumps and

bruises, and to intervene when there is danger.

D. Practice of this type, with bumps and bruises and relatively long periods of

operating on ones own, further sharpens the childs sense of self as

separate and individuated.

E. Upright walking at about 12 to 15 months increases the childs sense of

separateness.

F. Long periods of independent practice and exhilaration with locomotor

mastery seem to happen without much awareness of loved one, but the

practicing child still seems to sense mother as part of himself.

3

G. Brief periods of separation from loved one are tolerated and connections

and interest with others is also seen. The child of this age learns coping

skills for the loss.

IV. Rapprochement: Approach and Sharing [16-24 mo.+]

A. As the toddlers intellectual and motor skills grow, so too does his

awareness of separateness from loved ones. This awareness increases

his need to have the loved one share all objects, new skills, and

experiences.

B. At sixteen months, the child brings most things that are of interest to show,

loved one. As the child gets older, things are brought to the loved one not

only to show, but also to play with together.

C. Shared participation in play at this time with loved ones, other adults, and

other children provides opportunities for further clarification of

individuation. Much is made about having things done my way and

communicating clearly about ownership and possession.

D. Rapprochement period often contains conflict between budding autonomy

and need for help and sharing. Impatience and frustration with the loved

ones effort often is part of the sharing. The child wants things to be

magically made well by the loved one and feelings of helplessness and

rage sometimes ensue.

E. Increased awareness of separateness becomes periodically coupled with

awareness vulnerability. Acceptance by the loved one of confused and

conflicting messages from the child during this stage is very helpful.

F. As the child moves toward 24 months, he or she seems to get more and

more gratification from doing things with others and on his own. Clearly

understanding that I built the tower! the child takes pride and credit for

accomplishments.

4

G. Awareness of ones own developmental level comes at this stage. The

child at this age understands his or her similarity and difference with

young infants.

H. By being able to think symbolically 24-month-old children can carry in their

heads a memory of a loved one when she is not there and also a memory

that she will return as she has done in the past. Maternal image has been

incorporated.

/ColorImageDict > /JPEG2000ColorACSImageDict > /JPEG2000ColorImageDict > /AntiAliasGrayImages false /CropGrayImages true /GrayImageMinResolution 300 /GrayImageMinResolutionPolicy /OK /DownsampleGrayImages true /GrayImageDownsampleType /Bicubic /GrayImageResolution 300 /GrayImageDepth -1 /GrayImageMinDownsampleDepth 2 /GrayImageDownsampleThreshold 1.50000 /EncodeGrayImages true /GrayImageFilter /DCTEncode /AutoFilterGrayImages true /GrayImageAutoFilterStrategy /JPEG /GrayACSImageDict > /GrayImageDict > /JPEG2000GrayACSImageDict > /JPEG2000GrayImageDict > /AntiAliasMonoImages false /CropMonoImages true /MonoImageMinResolution 1200 /MonoImageMinResolutionPolicy /OK /DownsampleMonoImages true /MonoImageDownsampleType /Bicubic /MonoImageResolution 1200 /MonoImageDepth -1 /MonoImageDownsampleThreshold 1.50000 /EncodeMonoImages true /MonoImageFilter /CCITTFaxEncode /MonoImageDict > /AllowPSXObjects false /CheckCompliance [ /None ] /PDFX1aCheck false /PDFX3Check false /PDFXCompliantPDFOnly false /PDFXNoTrimBoxError true /PDFXTrimBoxToMediaBoxOffset [ 0.00000 0.00000 0.00000 0.00000 ] /PDFXSetBleedBoxToMediaBox true /PDFXBleedBoxToTrimBoxOffset [ 0.00000 0.00000 0.00000 0.00000 ] /PDFXOutputIntentProfile () /PDFXOutputConditionIdentifier () /PDFXOutputCondition () /PDFXRegistryName () /PDFXTrapped /False

/CreateJDFFile false /Description > /Namespace [ (Adobe) (Common) (1.0) ] /OtherNamespaces [ > /FormElements false /GenerateStructure false /IncludeBookmarks false /IncludeHyperlinks false /IncludeInteractive false /IncludeLayers false /IncludeProfiles false /MultimediaHandling /UseObjectSettings /Namespace [ (Adobe) (CreativeSuite) (2.0) ] /PDFXOutputIntentProfileSelector /DocumentCMYK /PreserveEditing true /UntaggedCMYKHandling /LeaveUntagged /UntaggedRGBHandling /UseDocumentProfile /UseDocumentBleed false >> ]>> setdistillerparams> setpagedevice