08742 october 2015 (2)

October 2015

Read every issue Online 24/7 at facebook.com/08742living

Inside this Issue...

All BusinessTime for an Audit

Legal EaseMiranda Warning

Beer Corner Amendment 21

Shore Recipes Butternut Squash Soup

Students of 08742 A Freshmen Tradition in Point Beach

08742 Living is:Steve DeJacimo Owner and [email protected]

Debbie Lada, dzignsDesign [email protected] MalpassPhotographer, Photo EditorMatt ConnellyWriter and Vice PrincipalMaureen WhelanWriter and Occupational TherapistChristy A. SchmidtWriter and Legal Counsel Katherine Kehoe, WriterLauren Kehoe, WriterNicole Marie, WriterEmily Foster, WriterJordan Noe, Writer

DISCLAIMER: Typhoon Media, LLC and 08742 Living have taken all reasonable care to ensure that the information contained in this magazine is accurate on the stated date of publication or last modification. It is possible that the information may be out of date, incomplete or the opinion of the author. It is advisable that you verify any information from this magazine before relying on it.

October 2015 Check us out online at Facebook.com/08742living 2

Online at facebook.com/08742livingDownload EVERY issue of 08742 Living in the APP section

Contact us: Typhoon Media, LLC2218 Mahoney Drive, Point Pleasant, New Jersey 08742 Call us at 732-239-1482 • Email: [email protected]

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In search of the worn, the tattered, the crusty & rusty, chippy look of antique furnishing and accessories. Old shutters & frames with their crumbling paint appeal to us. Those ancient garden statues with moss adorning, we can’t seem to get enough. What is it about these things from the past that speaks to our senses? “Patina”, a thin layer that variously forms on a surface, whether it be met-al, stone or wood, we seem to gravitate towards anything with a natural “patina”. It is a great day, the best of best of days in fact when we find that thing with a natural patina. What if you have a “thing” but it does not have the wonderful old time worn look that you crave? Can you create it? Is there a way to bring the “look” into your home without the old basement or attic smell, without the chipping lead based paint? Well of course there is! You can transform your home, with the use of a number of creative user-friendly products, into a page from your favorite home décor magazine. Here is a simple way to create an aged time worn look on a few items you may already have in your home. Take a gold frame or bookends for instance. Start with a base coat of white paint. We like to use Old White Chalk Paint by Annie Sloan because it sticks to everything. Next begin to layer a different color, perhaps French Linen. This will begin to add depth. Try not to cover the entire piece, leave bits of Old White peaking out and don’t be perfect with the paint. At this point, you can even wipe away some paint to reveal the original color. You can layer as many colors as you like, we often use only two or three to add shadows and highlights. You can choose to add wax for protection and patina after your paint dries. Annie Sloan’s Soft Dark Wax is great for this purpose. Taking a brush, gently apply the Dark Wax to pa-tina in some areas, remember not to be perfect, as you want it to have a time worn appearance. Buff away any excess wax and your project is complete. You can repeat paint and wax steps to achieve varied levels of depth. Chalk paint by Annie Sloan is a low VOC environmentally friendly product that can be used in your home. Clean up is with soap and water, no messy smelly products needed. Get your creative juices flowing and add some “Patina” to your home today. At Magnolia Lane Design we have many user-friendly products that can help you transform your home into the beautiful place you dream of.

Paint Tip of the MonthWhat if you want to add wax but not dark wax? Simple, take a bit of Annie Sloan’s Soft Clear Wax and add a few drops of say Old White. Now you have a white wax to add patina. You can do this with any of Annie Sloan’s Chalk Paint colors, simply mix up, apply and buff off excess.

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All Business


The 1986 effort to control employment of illegal immigrants, the Immigration Reform and Control Act, mandated that employers complete the Employment Eligibility Form – the “I-9” – for all new employees. The employer sanctions provisions appear in section 274A of the Immigration and Nationality Act (INA) and were amended by the Immigration Act of 1990 and the Illegal Immigration Reform and Immigrant Responsibility Act (IIRIRA) of 1996.

The idea is to deter illegal immigration by removing the ability for those individuals to obtain employment. In the United States, employers may only hire those who are legally able to work here: U.S. citizens, noncitizen nationals, lawful permanent residents, and aliens authorized to work. The I-9 form helps em-ployers verify the new hire is within one of those permitted classes.

Under the body of law, the employer must have the employee complete the I-9 form no later than the first day of employment and, within three business days after hiring a new employee, the employer must obtain from that employee the documents reflect-ing both the eligibility to work and proof of identity.

In most companies, the I-9 is just one form in an on-boarding packet for new employees – and historically most employers

The I-9: Time for anby Christy Schmidt, Esq.

(especially small businesses) do not grant serious time or consideration to completion of the form: “Yeah, that is

just something you need to fill out for the Federal Gov-ernment…” However, this attitude can be costly.

Last year, a record number of employers had U.S. Immigrations and Customs Enforcement (ICE)

appear for an unannounced I-9 Audit. According to new data from ICE, more

than 3,000 employers were audited in 2012 and fines grew to nearly $13

million. Statistics released by ICE in July 2012 stated that overall, $87.9 Million in

fines have been imposed on employers for violations. The number of company managers arrested has increased to 238.

Additionally, once ICE is at your door, you have very little time to review and obtain your records. The Notice of Inspection allows employers only 72 hours to collect I-9s and other forms ICE demands. These audits also cover current and terminated employees – and can include multiple or all work locations.

Failing to have an I-9 for an employee can result in a $110 to $1100 fine – per employee! Experts calculate the average fine on each I-9 to be $555. If you have 30 employees, and you are a first-time offender, your average fine could be $16,650.

Understanding the law and your responsibility as an employer can ensure you maintain compliance and avoid being fined for what is a simple procedure. Having an organized filing system with properly completed forms will ensure even if you do experience the audit, you emerge from it without the fines. By implementing a clear I-9 policy and procedure, you will also control costs so your managers do not spend time scrambling to comply or chasing employees for forms.

To get started, hire an experienced professional and get fully trained. Then, perform an I-9 audit by taking a sample of your I-9 records (reviewing all the forms is best, if possible), ensuring to check both current and terminated employee records. Next, over three months, review every new hire’s completed I-9. You should then have a clear picture of the procedures and policies you need to implement to obtain and store properly completed forms.

Common Mistakes and PointersNot using I-9 for seasonal or one-day employees. Anytime you hire a person to perform labor or services for wages, you are required to obtain and retain a completed I-9 for that person. You do not need an I-9 for contracted workers (independent contractors, pro-fessional services under contract, vendors). You also do not need to obtain and retain an I-9 form for casual domestic work in your home on a sporadic, irregular or intermittent basis – like a baby sitter (however, for a full-time nanny, it would be required).

Not having an I-9 for one or several employees. By including the I-9 in your on-boarding or orientation package, you can minimize but not eliminate this risk. Why? Employees “forget” to return the

291 Herbertsville Road, Brick, NJ 08724

(732) 903-7875(Continued on page 12)

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A column that simplifies areas of the legal industry for every day consumption. This month’s topic...

“Miranda” Warning (Rights) by Christopher J. Grenda, Esq.

In 1966, the United States Supreme Court decided a landmark decision in Miranda v. Arizona. In Miranda, the Court held that when a person is taken into police custody, there must be given an explanation of rights before any custodial interrogation. These rights stem largely from the Fifth Amendment privilege against self-incrimination. I’m sure you have heard these warnings time and again in movies and on television:

You have the right to remain silent;Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law;You have the right to an attorney;If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you.

This begs the question, what is custody? In a criminal setting, custody is generally defined as when a person reasonably believes that he or she is not free to leave. Custody does not need to take place at law enforcement headquarters or in jail. In fact, custody can take place just about anywhere, such as at the scene of a crime, the scene of an accident, on the sidewalk, in a park, or on the boardwalk, for example. Without a Miranda Warning or a valid waiver, statements may be inadmissible at trial under the Exclusionary Rule – statements cannot be used as substantive evidence of guilt in a criminal proceeding. In contrast, if a person is not in police custody, however, Miranda does not apply and any statements made to law enforcement could lead to a person’s arrest and potentially be used at trial.

One recognized exception to the Exclusionary Rule is known as the Public Safety Exception. This exception allows law enforcement to conduct an investigation without advising a person of their Miranda Warnings, that is, a court can choose not to apply the exclusionary rule when circumstances indicate that custodial interrogation was meant to serve an imme-diate public safety need. That does not mean that police may interrogate a person for the purpose of gathering incriminating information when they perceive that doing so will serve public safety.

The Miranda rule is complex, it is advisable to obtain competent legal representation when faced with a crime.

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March 2015


BurdensA Local Story of Faith

All Business

Part 2 of Branding and Trademarks

Shore Recipes

Coconut Lime Scones

Beer Corner

An Overview of Craft Beers

April 2015


Meal at Noon

The Jessica Bragen Story

All Business

Part 3 of Branding and Trademarks

Shore Recipes

Crunchy Pea Salad

Beer Corner

Hop into Spring

July 2015


All Business

Our Creative Side: Work for Hire

Shore Recipes

Farmer’s Market Tomato Corn Salad

Beer Corner

Homebrewing Chronicles, Part 2

08742 Dining

Restaurant Review: Arugula

Christie Rampone,

World Cup Champ!

June 2015


All Business

Our Creative Side: Copyright

Shore Recipes

Perfect Summer Crumb Cake

Beer Corner

Homebrewing Chronicles, Part 1

A Real Hometown Hero

Resident Saves a Neighbors Life

May 2015


All Business

Failure to Leverage

Shore Recipes

Unforgetable Chicken Salad

Beer Corner

April Showers Bring May Bocks

Beach Meditations

A Post Sandy Reflection

Cover photo by Deanna Finnerty


The Push You Needby Christy Schmidt

We all have goals we want to reach: Getting in shape. Growing a business. Graduating from college. Getting that promotion. Improving our relationships. Learning a new skill. The list is as endless and as diverse as each individual on this earth. Take a moment and write down three goals you want to accomplish in the next three months. Perhaps it is one of the popular ones my clients have:• Losing weight or getting healthier• Substantially increasing your income• Paying off significant debt• Resolving a dispute with a loved one• Taking a career leap or starting a new career• Starting or growing your own business• Meeting that “special someone”• Handling an issue with one of your children• Managing your time better• Feeling more confident

Perhaps you have had the same goal for a long time and cannot seem to reach it. You try. And you try. And you keep falling short. The question you need to ask is: Why? You are an intelligent, wonderful person and yet you cannot manage to achieve what you dream.Examine those three goals you listed. For each, list all the reasons why you have not yet achieved that goal. For example: “I want to lose weight. I have not done it because: I am tired. I never make it to the gym. I don’t have time. Working out hurts. I cannot stop my cravings. I am addicted to sugar. I love bread too much. I will have to buy all new clothes. I don’t have anyone to support me….” (and so on)This is when you need assistance. Here’s the truth of it: These excuses you listed are all rooted in FEAR. Often, the fear is buried under “self-limiting beliefs.” These self-limiting beliefs are typically programming from childhood – and they are almost impossible to identify and eliminate alone. For example, the person wanting to lose weight lists excuses that have a core reason – and that reason is unconscious. That’s where a coach comes into the picture. As a coach, I have extensive training and experience in locating those self-limiting beliefs hidden inside you. I can help you uncover them and make you unstoppable! Let me give you a clue: We hold onto those self-limiting beliefs out of fear. Fear we won’t be loved or fear we will never be good enough. With a short coaching program, you can uncover those self-limiting beliefs, handle those fears, and instill new beliefs so you can move forward powerfully.You do not need to do it alone.It’s time for the push you need.

Copyright C. Schmidt, 2015. All rights reserved. Christy Schmidt is a professor, certified life coach and mediator with over 20 years of consulting and coaching experience. Her company, Ansuz, LLC, offers one-on-one coaching, business consulting, and empowering workshops to help you become your ideal self and live your dream life! Contact us about our Coaching Intensives – hosted by The White Sands.

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completed form and then your HR manager wastes time chasing the form. Have each new employee complete the form in one sitting by informing them that the first day he or she reports to work he or she must bring the documentation required to complete his or her I-9.

Timing. Asking an applicant to complete an I-9 is against the law. Also, applicants who do not receive a job offer can use the I-9 as evidence of discrimination. Employers may and should only ask an individual to complete Section 1 and provide documentation evidence after the individual accepts the job offer. Do not include the I-9 form with the application package, however, provide a new hire with an “orientation” package that includes the form. The new hire can then bring completed forms when they report the first day of work.

Completing columns A, B and C – or requesting “over-documentation.” The form only requires completion of column A or columns B and C. Requiring more documentation than required to complete one column is a violation. Subjecting employees who appear to be minorities or foreigners to excessive documentation requests could create a presumption of discrim-inatory hiring practices. Also, advise your Human Resources personnel NOT to request specific documents – “Just provide your license and social security card.” Making over-documentation or a specific request of documents can result in a $100 to a $1000 fine per offense. The form itself is quite clear and describes in detail the documents required.

Helping the new employee complete Section 1. Do not permit staff or HR personnel to complete Section 1 of the form. Only the employee should complete and sign Section 1 of the form. If the employee requires assistance to complete Section 1, a preparer or translator must complete the certification. However, the employee still must sign Section 1. A parent or guardian can also assist employees who are under the age of 18 or disabled.

Expiration Dates. Refusing to hire someone because documenta-tion has a future expiration date may constitute illegal discrimination. You may refuse to hire someone with expired documentation. Also, management should calendar when documentation expires and needs to be reviewed or resubmitted (this does not apply to US citizens, noncitizen nationals and lawful permanent residents).

Examination and Section 2. This may be obvious, but the staff member who examines the documents must be the person who signs Section 2. (I am familiar with a company who would have the HR trainer check the documents presented in Section 2 and then have the HR manager, who had not actually inspected the documents, sign the form.) Also, you should photocopy the documentation provided (although you are not required to do so). By keeping a copy of the documents and attaching these to the employee’s form, you have a strong record of the forms on which you relied. Note, though – If you copy for one employee, you must copy for all your employees! Do not just copy “suspect” documents or those of “suspect” people. That is arguably discriminatory.

Reliance on Documentation. An employer can rely on the documents as long as they are reasonable upon their face. For example, if the picture resembles the employee, the employer can confidentially rely upon its authenticity. However, if the race or age of the person pictured is not the same as the employee, the employer cannot reasonably rely on its authenticity. An employer can be found to be acting in a discriminatory manner if it rejects documents that reasonably appear to be genuine.

Corrections. If after your audit you discover you are missing I-9s for any of your employees, or any of the I-9s are deficient, you should immediately compete one and attach an explanatory note explaining the oversight or the deficiency. Never white-out or destroy a deficient form – merely attach the corrected form to the deficient one so you maintain a complete record.

Copies and Retention. Keep a copy of the employee’s I-9 in their employee file for later reference. Keep an I-9 File of the original forms separate from the employee files so in the event of an audit, you do not have ICE agents going through your employees’ personnel records – exposing your company employee lawsuits due to violations of privacy and disclosure laws! Forms must be retained for at least one year following an employee’s termination or for at least three years – whichever is later!

Electronic Processing and Retention. Many companies are using electronic storage for I-9 processing. If your company uses I-9 software, ensure the program does not permit I-9 submission unless the form is fully completed. Also make sure the program does not accept expired documents and provides a backup and recovery method. Also, ensure only authorized personnel have access – both to minimize the risk of accidental or purposeful alteration and to protect your employees’ privacy.

E-Verify. Many employers are now using E-Verify, an internet system that compares the information supplied on the I-9 with government records. Employers who are not yet using the system should consider it as security to ensure a legal workforce – and evidence of diligence in hiring a legal workforce. You will need to retain E-Verify summaries with your I-9 file.

Illegal Workers: Hiring an illegal or hiding illegals through subcontractors are equal violations. Contracting labor (hiring a subcontractor) to avoid directly employing illegal immigrants is a violation just as if you hired them yourself. Sanctions include fines of $250 - $10,000 per alien and number of offenses. Always remember the hiring of an illegal alien is a criminal offense and can also result in imprisonment. Other management strategy can be used to reduce labor expense while being in compliance with the law – and not abusing illegal workers by pay substandard wages.

My office regularly does compliance audits – including inspection of I-9 forms - and training for staff. Call us at: 732-903-7875.

Lastly: Get the I-9 Handbook! The USCIS provides an employer resource Handbook for Employers: Guidance for Completing Form I-9. http://www.uscis.gov/sites/default/files/files/form/m-274.pdf

(ALL BUSINESS, Time for an Audit, continued)


5th Annual Make a Difference Day Garage and Bake Sale to Benefit

LIAM MARINO

Saturday, October 24, 20152218 Mahoney Drive, Point Pleasant Boro

This October 24th, millions of volunteers across the nation will unite with a common mission — to improve the lives of others. In its 24th year, Make a Difference Day is a USA TODAY initiative, backed by the Gannett Company and TEGNA Inc. In collaboration with points of Light it is the largest national day of community service.

On August 10th, 2014, Liam Marino was jumping on a trampoline when he fell off and hit his head. His mother thought he had a concussion but hospital tests indicated there was a mass on the back of his head. They were flown to CHOP and on Tuesday, August 12th he had brain surgery. A cancerous brain tumor called medullablastoma was found. Liam went through radiation and is currently undergoing chemotherapy treatment. Liam is 9 and an active boy. He loves skateboarding, surfing, biking, and anything outdoors!!

HELP US TO “MAKE A DIFFERENCE” FOR LIAM AND HIS FAMILY AS THEY FIGHT THIS BATTLE!

**We are currently accepting donations of gently used household goods or small pieces of furniture for the garage sale. Contact us at [email protected] or online at facebook.com/08742livingfor pick up or drop off.

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Drawing will be held October 31, 2015 at 5PM.

Good Luck and thank you for reading

While you are there you can download and readEVERY issue of 08742 from anywhere on the planet!

The M

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usical

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This holiday season, get into the spirit with a pair of tickets to Miracle on 34th Street, at Algonquin Arts Theatre, Manasquan

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Students of 08742Point Boro Rumbles to 4-0!With a 26-6 drubbing of Manchester, The Panthers and their stingy defense, are perfect after four games.

Senior Nate Husak (#5) racking up some of his 99 yards vs. Manchester as Lou Albarano (#10) and Devin Connolly (#16) look to make a block.

Seniors Gene Franceschini (#11) and (#33) Jack Cawley combine to make a stop on defense. A defense that has given up only 19 points in four games.

Dom Infante (#54) wrestles a Manchester running back down for a 4 yard loss.


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By Steve De Jacimo

With three locations, what is your total enrollment?Our total enrollment is approximately 125 kids, both full time & part time, in all 3 schools.

What kind of activities makes up a typical day at Honey Tree?Daily activities include but are not limited to ... Circle Time, Fine Motor Skills, Science and/or Math, Large Motor Skills, Dramatic Play, Language and, of course, Creative Expression. We also have a theater teacher that comes in once a week & teaches the kids a new song & dance!

How long have you been in the business?We opened our first school in July 2004 in Toms River. Point opened in Sept 2005 & Brick opened Oct. 2009

What do you offer or do different that sets you apart from other daycare?We offer very flexible schedules for working parents. And make up days for days kids miss due to most circumstances. We also have an excellent referral program.

What is next for Honey Tree? New locations? Any changes? Going forward we plan to continue to do what we are doing. We have a loving & nurturing environment where we teach through play and music. Each staff member has a genuine love for kids that shines through in their day to day activities.

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Shore RecipesFall is by far my favorite season when it comes to cooking, the cooler temperatures are a great excuse to start making soup again. Pumpkin flavors are everywhere but this butternut squash recipe is a top request from my family. Roasting the squash first deepens its flavor, and brings out an earthy sweetness. If you top this with some toasted parmesan cheese crisps and add a salad and you have the perfect meal!

Butternut Squash Soup1 large butternut squash, peeled and cut into large cubes about 3 lbs whole. (Some grocery stores carry cut squash in the produce section if you don’t want to cut it yourself). 3 medium shallots coarsely sliced2 cloves of garlic, peeled1 large apple peeled and cubed½ tsp. thyme 1 tsp fresh ground ginger

¼ tsp curry ½ tsp cinnamon1 Tbsp. brown sugar salt and pepper to taste2 pods of Knorr homestyle chicken stock7-8 cups of waterOlive oilHalf and half

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upon availability. Beverages, gratuities and tax are not included. Not applicable on holidays or Father’s day. Offer Expires 12/15/15.

Sunday BrunchBuffet $ 29.95

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Place cut squash, apples, shallots and garlic in 2 large roasting pans. Drizzle with olive oil and turn to coat evenly. Sprinkle with thyme, ginger, curry, cinnamon, brown sugar, salt and pepper. Place in a 400 degree oven for 45 minutes until slightly golden. In a large heavy bottomed pot place water and chicken stock. Allow to warm over low heat. Add roasted squash and stir. Next, puree with an immersion blender until smooth. Cook for 10 more minutes over low heat. Ladle soup into bowls and drizzle a tablespoon of half and half. Garnish with parmesan toasts. Enjoy!

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Beer Corner

You might miss it if you don’t know where to look. Modeled after a prohibition-era “speakeasy,” Amendment 21 in Point Pleasant Beach has no signs or bright lights to usher in the masses. An alleyway mural is all that might draw you to its nondescript entrance behind Europa South. Once inside, though, you will see why this bar is quickly gaining a reputation among locals as a top destination for craft beer.

The atmosphere at Amendment 21 is refined yet casual. Brick walls, butcher-block high tops and antique pendant lamps are complemented by surf videos and signage from the likes of Great Lakes Brewing, Brooklyn Brewery and McSorley’s.

Chalkboards behind the bar list the 30 rotating taps and this list is one of the most impressive in Ocean County. “Soul Style,” from Green Flash Brewing in California, is a delicious tropical and floral single IPA brewed with Citra, Simcoe and Cas-cade hops. Another must-try is the equally hoppy and citrus-packed “Lot No 6” from Evolution Brewing. For some malt balance, finish with Brewery Ommegang’s “Grains of Truth”. The Cooperstown-based brewery combines its Belgian yeast and malt with a hoppy Pale Ale in this impressive output.

Manager Len Mackie stressed that the chalkboard tap list is imperative since their draft offerings are always changing. The turnover results from high-volume sales combined with the fact that most microbreweries keg in “sixtels,” which hold about 1/3 the volume of a typical half-barrel of macro-brew. This assures that their draft beer offerings are always fresh. Having said this, if nothing on the chalkboard catches your attention, Amendment 21 offers approximately 60 other bottled beers and an impressive list of craft cocktails.

When the owner, Chris purchased Europa South last December, he immediately knew the banquet room in the back of the restaurant would make a great space for a bar. At the center of his vision, though, was an atypical bar menu that reflected a unique spin on comfort food. “Chris’ passion is cooking,” Mackie says. “We want to open up the palate to something different.” The menu is populated with “shareables” and some beer-inspired “handhelds” including an “IPA Pork Belly Poor Boy” and “IPA Beer Battered Fish and Chips.” You’ll regret not getting the “A21 Burger” which adds ground pork belly to its Black Angus patty, making one of the juiciest and most flavorful burgers around.

As the weather cools, the craft beer selection at Amendment 21 is beginning to include exceptional seasonal offerings that are hearty and warming. With more than 90 beer choices and fantastic specials for Sunday football, “Surf Night” and “Industry Night,” this is the perfect local spot for the love of beer.

For the Love of Beer — Amendment 21by Matt Connelly

”“What America

needs now is a drink.

– Franklin Roosevelt,

after the 21st Amendment repealed Prohibition

For advertising info call Greg Rinaldi at

732-998-9604

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October 2015 Check us out online at Facebook.com/08742living

Parental GuidanceThe End of the RopeBy Maureen Whelan

I’ve been warned by more seasoned parents of teens that high school years are nothing short of tumultuous. I’m finding that is true, and it starts as early as middle school. I have struggled for a long time to understand it. My husband and I provide a fairly predictable schedule and have clear expectations. We express our love frequently and provide our children with support and opportunities to develop their individual interests and talents. I’m even a big believer of allowing failure and missteps. Yet, I am still found wondering at times, how a seemingly benign question or remark became the spark that caused an explosion? Recently, I discovered something that shed some light into the world of a teenager, a world that I somehow forgot, but needed desperately to be reminded of. This “something” was a letter written by Gretchen Schmelzer, PhD, and licensed psychologist. “The Letter Your Teenager Can’t Write You”, was found on a blog called Emotional Geographic .

Dr. Schmelzer writes about the underlying struggle between teens and parents, and why it is so important to maintain holds and boundaries even as our teens struggle to break free. She’s not talking about only enforcing curfews or the like, but rather not budging on our emotional attachment. Parents must provide support and uncondi-tional love despite the attitudes and choices our teens will make. She writes from a teen’s perspective about their need to fight and specifically, fight their parents. Why? Because as parents, we are a safe haven. Our children trust us more than they will admit, more than they trust themselves. Teens are entering a strange new world as they venture on their years long transition into adulthood. For all their lack of knowledge about their world and their future…our children know who they are, when we still act like their parents. We are the rope they are holding onto.

I’ve learned through my education and experience as an Occupational Therapist that children will test boundaries more, when boundaries are inconsistent. Children aren’t trying to be “bad kids” or choosing oppositional behavior. We have to look at it from a child’s perspective. If expectations, rules, routines and responsibilities change frequently, the child is unable to produce predictable responses. Thus, the child resorts to basic problem solving of trial and error in attempt to understand this line. They push button to get an effect; if there is no effect, another button will be pushed. So, if Mom doesn’t react when I call my brother names, or poke him, or knock down his block tower….what will it take?

As parents, we need to hold our line, no matter how often or tiresome. Our kids are learning whether they show it or not. They are learning who they are, who they want to become, they are learning about limits, love, failure and forgiveness. They are

learning from their most important teacher. So, no matter how hard your child pushes and pulls, no matter how loud or quiet they get, hold on.

Hold onto your rope even when you are at the end of it, because on the other end, is your child.

“ Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through

experience of trial and suffering can

the soul be strengthened,

ambition inspired, and success achieved. ”

~ Helen Keller

Maureen Whelan is a pediatric Occupational Therapist and mother of 4 children ages 15,13, 10 and 7.

To read this letter go to: http://www.emotionalgeographic.com/blog-1/2015/6/23/parent-corner-the-letter-your-teenager-cant-write-you


“Halloween is the one night of the year when girls can dress however they want and get away with it.” I’m sure every woman is familiar with some version of this phrase. What I’m not sure of is whether everyone understands just how loaded this statement is.

First, it needs to be asked: Just what, exactly, are we “getting away with”? Is it a crime to dress in something clingy and revealing? Is it wrong to feel confident and sexy as we walk around in six-inch heels and bunny ears? Does Halloween mean that we get to escape judgment by men, or by other women, or both?

Almost regardless of the answers to these questions, still another one arises: why is this only acceptable on Halloween? Tell me it isn’t fun to get dressed up in some adorable knee-high boots and a short skirt and slather on some heavy rock-star-type eyeliner.

Alternatively, are we expected to dress this way? Obviously, most of the costumes for women are sexy versions of something that exists in the real world. There are firefighter outfits that barely cover anything, nurse costumes cut down to the rib cage… I even saw a sexy slice of pizza costume the other day.

Come As You Areby Katherine Kehoe

You Go Girl

So where do we go with this? We’ve got some pretty confusing messages coming at us from all sides. We are both ‘supposed’ to dress as something overtly sexual, and yet reminded this is the ‘only’ day we can ‘get away’ with it. What does society want from us? Are we supposed to be sex objects or are we supposed to be sexless, conservative and proper?

You’re all free to come up with your own answers, but here is mine to consider: It just doesn’t matter. To me, feminism isn’t being one extreme or the other. It’s being honest with ourselves and what we want. If you want to dress as a sexy Big Bird for Halloween, if that really makes you feel good, then go for it! If you want to dress in tight, pretty, short little dresses any other day of the year, then work it! If you want to dress like Freddy Krueger and wear an oversized “man” costume on Halloween, be my guest.

The bottom line is this: Figure out what’s going to make you happy. Forget about the mixed messages coming from friends, family, and the media. Decide what you want, just go with it. Halloween may not be a day known for being our genuine selves, but ultimately, I believe that’s the only way you’re honestly going to have a good time – which is really what it’s all about. Have an awesome holiday!

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Students of 08742

Starting high school can be tough – new classes, new teachers, and an entirely new building are only a few of the worries Point Beach freshmen carry into their first month. On top of academ-ics-related anxieties, most high school freshmen dread being on the bottom of the proverbial food chain as the youngest of the four grades, and not knowing anyone except for the people they went to elementary school with. At Point Beach High School, however, freshmen have a one-of-a-kind opportunity to get to know their classmates during a stress free day to socialize and have fun at Ocean County Park.

A Point Beach tradition, Freshman Field Day takes place annually, generally falling around a week after the first day of school. The field day, organized by the Peer Leaders and their advisors, Mrs. McGuire and Mrs. Scraggs, takes up most of the school day; students depart at around 9:20 and return the same afternoon after 1:00. Shortly after arrival, groups of freshmen and Peer Leaders begin to rotate through the 9 stations set up in the park and play a different game at each one. Games vary from the traditional (charades and a rope) to the wacky (baby do you love me and the zombie apocalypse game), with Peer Leaders, freshmen, and teacher chaperones alike getting involved and active.

Year after year, Freshmen Field Day receives positive feedback from its participants. While not all students will go into the experience with much enthusiasm, nearly everyone leaves with smiles on their faces. “I really loved playing baby do you love me,” says freshman Madeline House, “I couldn’t stop laughing!” Freshman Bianca Schultz shares her enthusiasm, admitting, “I didn’t think it would be this much fun.” Freshmen aren’t

the only participants in the games; Peer Leaders lead by example and play along with the group. Many freshmen feel that having Peer Leaders lead the activities makes them feel even more welcome in the Beach community, because Peer Leaders were freshmen like them only two or three years ago. “It’s better to have kids around who had the same experiences we had when we were freshmen,” agrees Regina Schliep.

It’s not all just about fun and games, however; the Peer Leaders emphasize its importance in creating bonds within the freshman class early on in the year, and making sure they feel like a part of the Beach family. According to Peer Leader advisor and guidance counselor Mrs. McGuire, the goal of the field day is “to build community in the freshman classes.” Peer Leader Hillary Muller agrees, saying, “The whole point is to get to know other people and become comfortable in your own grade. Point Beach wants to be a big family.” Teachers also love to participate in the field day and help new students feel more at home in the beach. Dr. DiPasquale, who has been involved in Freshman Field day for 5 years, sees it as “a really great way for freshmen to bond and get to know each other… they act differently after this day, they really know who they want to be friends with.”

The spirit of community doesn’t end when students leave the park; upon returning, students proceed immediately to a school-wide pep rally in the gym, where everyone from freshmen to seniors shows their Beach pride. In all, Freshman Field Day can truly change the way a student feels about their school and classmates for the better.

A Fall, Freshmen Tradition at Point Beach HSby Emily Foster

ThanksgivingDinner

November 26

Halloween Masquerade

October 31

8pm

Twas The

Night Before

Chrustmas and

Breakfast with

Santa

December 19-20

732.899.3370 | www.thewhitesands.com | [email protected] Ocean Ave | Point Pleasant Beach | NJ | 08742

*PLEASE CALL FOR AVAILABILITY AND PACKAGE INFORMATION*

October 31 - Halloween Masquerade will be from 8pm - 1am. Join us for a hootin’ and hollerin’ night!

November 26 - Arugula at The White Sands will offer a sit down style Thanksgiving meal for all.

December 19&20 - On December 19 Mrs. Claus will be here to serve milk and cookies, arts and crafts, help write letters to Santa, and read a bed time story. On December 20, Santa will join everyone for breakfast!

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