08742 december 2015 32pgs (2)

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December 2015 Inside this Issue... The Power of Positive Thinking Finding your way through the holidays House Lifting — Your questions answered Featured Business of the Month Mueller’s Bakery Parental Guidance A gift for my children Read every issue at facebook.com/08742living

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Transcript of 08742 december 2015 32pgs (2)

December 2015

Inside this Issue...

The Power of Positive ThinkingFinding your way through the holidays

House Lifting —Your questions answered

Featured Business of the Month Mueller’s Bakery

Parental GuidanceA gift for my children

Read every issue at facebook.com/08742living

The Student Section

08742 Living is:Steve DeJacimo Owner and [email protected]

Debbie Lada, dzignsDesign [email protected] MalpassPhotographer, Photo EditorMatt ConnellyWriter and Vice PrincipalMaureen WhelanWriter and Occupational TherapistChristy A. SchmidtWriter and Legal Counsel Katherine Kehoe, WriterLauren Kehoe, WriterNicole Marie, WriterEmily Foster, WriterJordan Noe, Writer

DISCLAIMER: Typhoon Media, LLC and 08742 Living have taken all reasonable care to ensure that the information contained in this magazine is accurate on the stated date of publication or last modification. It is possible that the information may be out of date, incomplete or the opinion of the author. It is advisable that you verify any information from this magazine before relying on it.

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Online at facebook.com/08742livingDownload EVERY issue of 08742 Living in the APP section

Contact us: Typhoon Media, LLC2218 Mahoney Drive, Point Pleasant, New Jersey 08742 Call us at 732-239-1482 • Email: [email protected]

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All Business

Last month’s “Just Do It” Estate Planning article created quite a stir – and I received several questions from readers regarding “estate planning.” This month, I thought I should answer those questions – and some typical other questions.

What is estate planning?Estate planning is a process by which you (and your spouse, if you are married) meet with an expert estate planning attorney to review the property you own or will own and to prepare the documents you need should you die or become incapacitated.

What do I get with my estate plan?Expert estate planning attorneys will provide to you: (a) A Last Will and Testament; (b) A Power of Attorney; and (c) A Living Will and Health Care Proxy. You may also need other documents (typically Trusts).

What is a Last Will and Testament?Your Last Will and Testament is a contract that becomes active when you die. It means nothing until that moment. It contains all your wishes and directives regarding the property you have at the time of your death. It also assigns someone to be in charge of “probating” or administering your estate. If you do not have a Last Will and Testament, a family member will need to request to be appointed to manage the estate – and that management will be controlled by state law – NOT your wishes. You also may incur significant tax liability or actually harm others (those on disability or Medicaid) without proper planning.

Can I write my own will? Why do I need an attorney?Yes, absolutely. New Jersey permits anyone to write his or her own Last Will and Testament. However: Certain requirements must be satisfied to actually use (“probate”) the Will – and without proper planning, you could actually incur significant tax liability, incorrectly pass property to those you did not intend or harm those on disability or Medicaid. Even if you draft your own Will, you should have an expert, qualified attorney review your plan.

What is a Power of Attorney?A Power of Attorney (POA) is a document that makes a chosen person (typically your spouse, child or other family member) your “agent.” Depending on the type of document, you can let that agent do almost anything on your behalf (sell property, handle bank accounts and bills, etc.). You can also get a Power of Attorney that is still active even if you are unconscious or incapacitated – it stays in force. These are very powerful “powers” to give to another person – so you should get assistance prior to assigning the power to another person. The POA is really important should anything happen to you and you are unable to make decisions for yourself. Otherwise, your family will need to go to court and incur significant costs and anxiety to get someone appointed to handle your affairs.

Estate Planningby Christy Schmidt, Esq.

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(Continued on page 25)

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March 2015

Inside this Issue...

BurdensA Local Story of Faith

All Business

Part 2 of Branding and Trademarks

Shore Recipes

Coconut Lime Scones

Beer Corner

An Overview of Craft Beers

April 2015

Inside this Issue...

Meal at Noon

The Jessica Bragen Story

All Business

Part 3 of Branding and Trademarks

Shore Recipes

Crunchy Pea Salad

Beer Corner

Hop into Spring

July 2015

Inside this Issue...

All Business

Our Creative Side: Work for Hire

Shore Recipes

Farmer’s Market Tomato Corn Salad

Beer Corner

Homebrewing Chronicles, Part 2

08742 Dining

Restaurant Review: Arugula

Christie Rampone,

World Cup Champ!

June 2015

Inside this Issue...

All Business

Our Creative Side: Copyright

Shore Recipes

Perfect Summer Crumb Cake

Beer Corner

Homebrewing Chronicles, Part 1

A Real Hometown Hero

Resident Saves a Neighbors Life

May 2015

Inside this Issue...

All Business

Failure to Leverage

Shore Recipes

Unforgetable Chicken Salad

Beer Corner

April Showers Bring May Bocks

Beach Meditations

A Post Sandy Reflection

Cover photo by Deanna Finnerty

Go to facebook.com/08742living....where readers can find every issue,

reaching hundreds of online readers EVERY week!

On the 15th of every month we home deliver and direct mail to 1000 households in Bay Head, Point Pleasant Beach and Point Pleasant Borough, with a 30% subscriber base.

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The Power of Positive Thinking

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Finding Your Way Through the Holidays by Allison Feehan, Owner of Integrative Healing and Wellness

Tis the season for an array of emotions ranging from stress, anxiety, exhaustion, and financial strain, and that is just to name a few. It’s around this time of year when our logical mind, logical senses, and logical perceptions play tricks on us. We tend to caught up in our own reality of circumstances rather than the illusion in the reality of circumstances. We tend to exercise catabolic energy. This energy is draining, resisting, and contracting; it releases cortisol and adrenaline. The truth is there is beauty hidden in all of the holiday chaos, gratitude. You begin with mindfulness to something beautiful or kind or fortunate.

The one really important thing to stay focused on at this time of year, ourselves. As our world is full of distractions and obligations, especially at this time of year, we tend to forget to care for ourselves. Turning our mind, senses, and perceptions towards something beautiful or kind should be a daily practice every day of the year but this time of year is even more important. It has been proven that the last thought we have before we slip into a slumber stays in our subconscious mind for up to four hours. Stressing about finances, family gatherings of who will get along with who can really be unsettling especially before bed. Create a mantra or series of beautiful sentences for yourself to repeat as you drift off to sleep to keep this from happening. If before sleep you are overcome with worry, get up out of bed, perhaps turn on the light, take a few deep breaths and remind yourself of something beautiful or kind. Is it your child’s smile? Or is it the perfect gift you can’t wait to give a loved one? Choose to impress upon your subconscious mind by using anabolic energy. Anabolic energy is constructive, expanding, fueling, healing, and growth-oriented; it releases endorphins. Recognizing your stressors and triggers is healthy and how you choose to address them is just as important.

Balance is key in everything we do. Drink wine but don’t forget your green juice. Go shopping at the mall but practice meditation or yoga the same day. Invest in yourself, indulge in yourself. You are not selfish because you want and deserve a better life for yourself. Having gratitude for the things and people that make you happy in life is a blessing. Celebrate those blessings by talking about them with others,journal them, demonstrate your thankfulness and gratitude with others. Random acts of kindness can also get you in the holiday spirit and reduce stress. What you put out into the Universe comes back ten-fold with even more beauty. Emotions spring forth and a desire to give thanks enlivens the troubled soul. Remind yourself that on this day and every day, I appreciate you, I notice you and I feel you.

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The October 15, 2015, issue of the Dynamic Chiropractic Magazine reported on a new study showing that both blood pressure and pulse rate are lowered after specific chiropractic adjustments. The original study was published in the June 2015 issue of the Asian Journal of Multidisciplinary Studies.

Study participants were screened to rule out any other factors that might affect the results. All participants were 18 years of age or older, did not have any serious condition or cancer, did not have any recent injuries, were not on any medica-tions or drugs, and did not have an arm or leg prosthetic device.

The participants were randomly divided into one of three groups. One group was a control group in which no chiropractic procedures were given. The second group was the placebo group and were given fake chiropractic adjust-ments. This was accomplished by setting the adjustment instrument to zero so no force was applied when the instrument was triggered. The third group received a real adjustment using the same instrument with a setting that would deliver a force and create an adjustment.

The results showed that only the group that received the real adjustment showed any change with both systolic and diastolic BP decreasing approximately 7 percent. Additionally, only the group that received the real adjustment showed a significant decrease in pulse rate.

Since this study ruled out all other external factors, and since the data collected was by individuals who did not render the procedures, this study represents the purest form of evidence that a chiropractic adjustment has a positive effect on blood pressure and pulse rate. Adding this study to the already existing body of evidence shows that chiropractic can help normalize blood pressure. This should help change public perception that medications are not the only option for correcting blood pressure issues.

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As the end of 2015 comes to a close and 2016 draws near, students are taking a step forward to prepare for the next step in their education. The first two marking periods of the school year are college application season, and a flurry of activity runs throughout the graduating class as they prepare—some frantically, some excitedly—for their December and January application deadlines. Many different components go into a college application; in addition to the Common App most universities utilize, there are essays to be written, forms to be filled out, and tests to be taken before a student is ready to pay the application fee and finally hit submit.

Two major items in an application are the Common App essay, which a student must submit to all colleges that accept the Common App, and SAT test scores. While some students also take the ACT, a separate yet similar standardized test, the major focus is on SAT scores. Those who are shooting for Ivy League schools aim for, at the very least, a score of 2000 out of 2400 on the test; the national average hovers around the 1500 mark. However, despite the strong emphasize on test scores, most students feel more pressure about their college essays. In addition to the Common App, most colleges have supplemental essays.

Supplemental essay topics range from the generic “Why do you want to attend this university,” to the wacky—the University of Chicago is famous for its unique prompts, such as “Mash up a historical figure with a new time period, environment, location, or occupation, and tell us their story.”

Point Beach Senior Sarah Viola has been working on college applications since September. Working at Focused Coaching, an SAT study center, she sees the application and testing process up close, not only from her perspective, but from other students’ as well. “Applying to college can be very stressful… [but] it’s always important to make sure you’re not putting too much pressure on yourself,” she advises. “Ask for help. Talk to your teachers. Make what can be a very stressful process into something you can be excited about!”

Students of 08742The Stressful Pursuit of Higher Educationby Emily Foster

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Well, we have all heard the stories of what is transpiring up and down the Jersey Shore with the effects of Super Storm Sandy. Are you in a flood zone? Does your house need lifted, and by when? With all these and many more questions that can’t seem to be answered, we wanted to at least get the skinny on what it takes to actually lift a house. So, we followed a crew of house lifters for a day, to really understand what it takes to lift a house. “So, once the house is prepped and ready to lift, then what happens?”“We bring in a 250,000 pound hydraulic lifter. We put steel beams across the base of the home and begin lifting. We use a unified lifter. The house is raised evenly based on a sensing system that keeps the house level during the lift, at all times. Then we build cribbing which the stacked timbers to hold the house in place while we start the foundation. I hear about helical piles? What are they?They support the base of the house. These are long rods with spiral discs on them that dig deep into the ground. We pressure test them as they are being drilled into the ground….that guage in the machine shows engineer how deep to go based on the soil. Each area is different. Some are 10-20-30-40 foot, it just depends.All one day to lift?Yes, once the house is prepped and free from the foundation, we can have it to the desired height in one day. And we can do most jobs, without any major set backs in three months time. What’s the best basement? No basement? Poured, block, slab, crawl space? Engineer specifys it. Soil boaring determines your system, that is finalized by the engineer. After March 1st, you will be required to have helical piles or pilings if you are in the “B Zones” in the coastal area.Some final tips to follow before having your having your house raised:• Check out prospective contractors other job sites. Check time frames. Jobs in progress

should not take more than 3 months without any major set backs.• Watch for contractors that take too many jobs….and they are not completing jobs. • If you feel that your contractor is not following the terms agreed upon you can file a complaint

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Bridge Avenue, Bay Head • 732-892-0442

By Steve De Jacimo

I had the chance to sit down with Mueller’s owner, Marie O’Neill and talk about business. Oh, and it’s MULL-er’s. Not MULE-er’s. Ok, so we got that out of the way. The building that Mueller’s is in, has been a pie and bakery only, since it was built in the late 1800’s. Owners Marie and Brian have not wavered on just that, keeping it a bakery. While the bakery category, as a business model, has been infused with ice creams, and lunch items, Mueller’s has stayed true to their core products. But, they want you to know that they are always adding new products every month, like honey, spicy pear salsa and cranberry orange relish, just to name a few. So, you are obviously not the first owners here. This building has been a bakery since the late 1800’s. So, when did you take over?My husband Brian has been working in a bakery for the majority of his life since he was 14. After years in the business at other locations in Howell and Lavallette, you get to know other owners. So, we knew the previous owners here at Mueller’s and we had standing deal that if they were ever going to sell that we would be interested. Well, that was 2003, and we’ve been here ever since.

So, is this going to be the only location, or are there expansion plans?No. This is going to be the only location. At one time we did have a satellite location closer to the boardwalk in Point Beach, but, we decided to focus our efforts on this location only.

“Over my dead body”, we’ve all heard that saying. What about Mueller’s would get that same response from you?People have asked to change the crumb cake recipe. That’s just not going to happen.

What kind of new products or changes do you have in the store?We constantly want to bring in new bakery oriented items. Like, honey, jams, spicy pear salsa, cranberry-orange relish and so on. We know that our customers are willing to try new things. So, we try to add new products at least once a month.

**Mueller’s does carry gluten free items and their staff is very good about product knowledge for those of you that have certain allergies.

Featured Business of the Month

Mueller’s Bakery

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Emotions: Mommy I’m Afraidby Christy Schmidt

Staying Home

Oh yeah. We are going to go there. We are going to talk about the worst emotions and we are going to start with FEAR. We could include the fear we cause ourselves to experience by watching Rob Zombie movies…but what we really need to address is actual, paralyzing fear. The fear that sneaks up on you before the big presentation or job interview. The fear when your neighbors attack dog is loose in your yard – and you are far from the back door. The fear when significant other is sick or ill and you might lose them. The fear when your kid gets injured. The fear when the doctor calls you about your “test results.” The fear when the company announces a bad quarter and potential layoffs. The fear when the IRS sends you a registered letter. I think it’s particularly appropriate during the holidays to discuss fear and anxiety: Fear of meeting the significant other’s family for the first time. Fear of going bankrupt buying gifts. Fear of the turkey being frozen two hours before dinner is to be served. Fear of not finding your son or daughter’s toy they really, really want! Fear of family arguments. Fear the postal service won’t deliver that gift in time…the list goes on and on…Yeah. Those.Fear is pretty simple: It is the recognition that we are about to experience pain. Big pain. Bad pain. Scientists know a lot about fear: It originates in the amygdala of your brain and floods your body with cortisol and adrenaline. Your heart rate shoots up; your breathing quickens and becomes shallow. You start to sweat. It helped us survive as we evolved into the humans we are. In fact, our ancestors who did not experience fear when necessary did not survive to pass down their weak fear response. Which means, very clearly, we are the children of people who did “fear” really well. So guess what?Fear is our go-to emotion. We are programmed, in fact, to notice bad things – things that might be dangerous, that might cause us pain. We are attuned to the things that should scare us and our bodies are very, very good at feeling fear. In fact, scientists call this adaptation our Negativity Bias. Rick Hanson, PhD uses this handy metaphor: “Our minds are like Velcro for bad and Teflon for good.” To survive we had to be ever-aware for the bad stuff. We also know that fear is the shadow emotion of our Root Chakra – or our need for Certainty. We do not know what is going to

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happen and we feel endangered. In order to be certain again – to feel safe and in control - we select the best response to the fear trigger: Freeze, flee or fight. Fear happens in the moment. By definition it is the reaction to a present stimulus. (Anxiety is fear of a potential stimulus – and is always conjecture – “It might happen.”) The question is: What can we do about fear? How do we handle it? Typically, we do not handle it well at all. It paralyzes us – going as far as to not do things we need to do (like ask someone on a date, change jobs, invest our money) just to avoid feeling afraid. We know the amygdala forms a nice mental picture of whatever caused us to feel fear the first time and those circum-stances trigger the fear again (and also cause anxiety about the expectation of the pain). Obviously this was a good thing and kept us alive. But now, we perceive enhanced danger so automatically it is hard to survive!So, let’s discuss just fear:Ultimately, we need to use our more developed frontal lobe to escape the fear trap. Successful people feel fear – but they succeed anyway. That is what we call “courage” – moving forward towards a goal even when afraid. So, let’s start with building some cour-age by accepting we will, at times, feel afraid.Using that courage, face that fear by being mindful in the moment and asking yourself: “Am I really in danger? Is this a fear trigger – the event that happened is not present here? Am I perceiving the reality correctly as a threat? By just realizing fear is an automatic emotion, we begin to control it. We start to use rational thought and leave our cave-person self behind!For this Holiday Season, my company is offering our online course, FEARLESS, for FREE with the purchase of any coaching package! The course, normally $125, is a self-study program where you will learn all about fear –and taking risks for high rewards. You will understand how your brain functions – often against you. And this course is a great way to start working with a coach to move towards achieving your dreams. Give yourself the gift of courage this holiday season – and be FEARLESS! Copyright C. Schmidt, 2015. All rights reserved. Christy Schmidt is a professor, certified life coach and mediator with over 20 years of consulting and coaching experience. Her company, Ansuz, LLC, offers one-on-one coaching, business consulting, and empowering workshops to help you become your ideal self and live your dream life! Contact us about our Coaching Intensives – hosted by The White Sands.

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than a regular coaching program – which takes place over several months. Intensives are “intense:” Quick, targeted and powerful.To achieve the most progress, my coaching

intensives always include a “get-a-way” element. You leave your environment and

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December 2015 Check us out online at Facebook.com/08742living 18

“But what’s this long face about, Mr. Starbuck; wilt thou not chase the white whale?”

Although the “white whale” cited above refers to the elusive Moby Dick that was chased relentlessly and perilously by Captain Ahab in Herman Melville’s novel, the term is used in the modern beer world to identify a rare and hard-to-find beer.The following message arrived in my email inbox this afternoon like the opening scene of a Mission Impossible movie: “Goose Island Bourbon County will be released this Friday at 4PM first come first serve. It will be one bottle per person no exceptions.”This mission, should I chooseto accept it, will likely involve stand-ing in a long line of bearded men wearing brewery-branded t-shirts with the hopes of spending an unreasonable amount of money on just one bottle of this “white whale”. I’ll be there, I’ll wait, I’ll pay, and I’ll hopefully go home happy.I can hardly justify the time and cost I’ve expended in search of exceptional beers. Nevertheless, I scour social media and beer-geek message boards looking for clues or cues to when the next big white whale will be released. As evidenced by the following, I’m often met with disappointment:

Friday, 11:47 AM:Steve: Carton Epitome and SS Yirgacheffe release at Spirits today.Me: Saw that. I’ll head over.Steve: See you there.Me: Do you think there will be a line?Steve: I don’t think so…

Friday, 2:00PM:Steve: I’m here. There is a line.

In Search of the White Whaleby Matt Connelly

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Friday, 4:04PM:Steve: Epitome is really good this year. Damn.

A few weeks ago I headed up to Other Half Brewing in Brooklyn for the release of their collaboration IPA with

Trillium Brewing from Boston. Other Half is producing some of the best IPAs available anywhere and,

despite some recent mainstream publicit y, previous can releases had been relatively

manageable and proved fruitful. On this day, though, the hype surrounding this

collaboration with one of New England’s most hyped breweries created a stir.

When I arrived – an hour before they were due to open – there was a three-block line enveloping this Carroll Gardens neighborhood. Because of the anticipated demand, the brewery had set the limit at four 4-packs per person. Within minutes of my arrival the brew-eries Instagram account stated that if you weren’t in line, you likely wouldn’t get any beer. As like-mind-

ed whale-hunters continued to arrive, though, Other Half compensated by

lowering the limits twice. By the time I reached the front of the line I was given

an opportunity to purchase two 4-packs of Street Green. I had waited in line for over

4 hours for 8 cans of beer. And I was thrilled. On a side note, the limit was dropped to one

4-pack and then 1 can/person before the line was cleared.So why do we expend so much time and effort tracking down the “white whales”? If you’ve been fortunate enough to taste a Maine Brewing’s Dinner or Tree House Brewing’s Julius, you’ll understand why people wait in line for days for an opportunity to purchase these elusive beers. Having said this, there is also something I find incredibly satisfying in drinking and sharing beers that others are unable to obtain. So if you live in Point and you get your hands on a whale, call me up so we can experience it together…for the love of beer!

Riviera Realty

December 2015 Check us out online at Facebook.com/08742living 19

Beautiful Custom Colonial, possible Mother/Daughter or teen suite nes-tled in a private area of Forked River. You are

welcomed by a water feature leading to a huge wrap around front, rocking chair porch with a connecting large deck for entertaining. Upon entering the home is a foyer leading into a spacious great room with a wood burning fireplace. Next a newer eat-in kitchen with breakfast bar and dining area, den with french doors out to the yard, also on this level is a large pantry/office area. The second floor has 4 gracious size bedrooms, the master also includes a walk-in tremendous size closet and master bath. The basement is fully finished with 2nd kitchen, full bath, 1 bedroom, and 1 bonus room. To finish off the package the home is heated and cooled with a Geothermal System — WOW!

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The Student Section

December 2015 Check us out online at Facebook.com/08742living 20

Rover Rescue

Pets...a Life Long Commitmentby Lauren Kehoe

It’s that time of year again; twinkling lights, cheerful music, decorations, and crowded shopping malls. The holiday season is full of so many different things, but one component that is never forgotten is gift giving. While exchanging gifts can be a lot of fun, it’s important to realize that not everything is an appropriate Christmas present.

Each year after the holidays, animal shelters experience an influx of surrendered pets. The kennels are flooded with puppies and kittens who were intended to be presents for friends or family. This puts a lot of added stress on shelters and rescue groups.

Getting any kind of pet is a huge commitment and should involve a sufficient amount of planning and research. Unfortunately, when animals are given to others as surprise gifts, there isn’t a chance for the recipient to prepare. While it may seem like a fun idea to get a new pet as a present, it is also a risk. It’s difficult to tell whether or not someone is ready for it. There are many factors to consider in adopting a new pet that are pushed under the rug when they are gifted.

Most importantly, it is difficult to know if someone truly wants a pet. If they mentioned something about wanting an animal, it doesn’t mean that they were serious about going out and getting one. Some people have work or school schedules that will not allow them enough time to properly care for a pet. Some have spouses, children, or parents that do not want to share their homes with an animal. If there are other animals in the home already, there is also the possibility of them not getting along with a new pet.

Even if someone was looking to adopt an animal, it is hard to tell which one would be a good match. Some animals need special people to care for them, while some people are looking for certain types of behavior in their potential pet. Often shelters will have interested adopters meet the dog or cat multiple times to ensure that it is the right match for a forever home.

Having an animal is a life long commitment. Adopting a pet is not a decision to make on impulse, or to make for another person. If you want to help someone pick out their new best friend, consider making a trip to a shelter or looking online at rescues after the hectic holiday season has ended. Be sure whoever is adopting knows all of the energy, time, patience, and other requirements needed for the animal they are interested in.

Holiday Related Animal Events:Dec 5 & 6Home For The Holidays (Monmouth County SPCA in Eatontown)

Dec 5, 6, 12, & 13Pictures With Santa (Jersey Shore Animal Center in Brick)

The Student Section

December 2015 Check us out online at Facebook.com/08742living 22

“So one of the most important things

parents can do for their children is

to show them they are not

alone in the world, that they matter in the big picture,

and that their parents are there to support them as they find their place within it.”

— Jessica Lahey, author of The Gift of Failure

Maureen Whelan is a pediatric Occupational Therapist and mother of 4 children ages 15,13, 10 and 7.

Parental GuidanceA Gift for My Children

By Maureen Whelan

As the calendar creeps closer to Christmas I sense the tension and anxiety in almost everyone around me. I’ve also fallen victim to this curse while in search of the perfect gift. But I’m hoping to make a change this year. Just before Thanksgiving I finished reading a book called The Gift of Failure. The author, Jessica Lahey, writes with an incredible connectedness to parents, and she’s teaching us to stop screwing up our kids. Her secret?

Let them fail. Yes, I’m wrapping that up in a shiny box with a pretty bow and putting it under the tree this year, because I’m convinced, failure is a gift.

It’s common knowledge that most parents’ actions are based on good and heart felt intentions. We feel a need to provide, protect and preserve our children from the harsh realities of the world. When they are young we will feed them before they ask, pick their friends and arrange their play dates, and enroll them in all the finest preschool programs hoping this will give them an edge in life, maybe it will make their life easier. We will also try and choose the nicest teacher, call the school when there are problems at recess and blame the coach, the referee, or maybe the other team when they experience loss or disappointment. But these well-intended acts create more anxiety and turmoil for our kids. Every time we step in on behalf of our children, we send them a clear message, “I’m doing this because you can’t.” We don’t need to say anything to our kids; that message is received loud and clear without explanation; they are incapable. Now, some of us will further attempt console our children by telling them that the auditions were unfair, and that their daughter is really a better singer than any of those on stage. So, now we have meekly attempted to provide them with confidence, yet they lack practical experience to feel successful. Then, anxiety builds because there is no substance behind this statement of greatness. Or worse, now this child believes he is amazingly talented yet has no basis to demonstrate this. So this child enters the world unable to calculate risks with tons of confidence and no skills to back it.

The author writes to parents, from a parents’ perspective, but she is also a teacher and provides valuable strategies to build successful parent-teacher relationships, because this too suffers when we rescue our kids. Children sense frustration from those around them, and it succumbs them. They then begin to doubt both their teachers ability as well as their own. What is it about ourselves as parents that we fear failure in our children? The reasons will vary, but we need to refocus on our role as a parent and the reality of the world that our children will one day enter. This world is full of risks and dangers, and at

times is a scary place, so while our children are young, and still under our influence must allow them to take risks, struggle and fail.

They need these experiences without judgment, resent-ment or disapproval. We are there to provide advice, emotional support, encouragement and most of all

praise. Praise them for their bravery when trying new things, praise their creativity when using

ideas different than our own, and praise their determination when they make mistakes more than once. Remember, Thomas Edison made 10,000 light bulbs that did not work before he made one that did. (Forbes, 2011) Success is

not determined by how quickly a problem is solved; often it is the child who experiences multiple failures and trials who demonstrates the greatest success.

That child also gets to feel all the glory that goes along with overcoming obstacles, the success

is theirs to own.

Now that would be an amazing gift!

December 2015 Check us out online at Facebook.com/08742living 23

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December 2015 Check us out online at Facebook.com/08742living 25

What is a Living Will? What is a Health Care Proxy?A Living Will is a list of directives you want followed should you become incapacitated (typically, brain dead or in a perpetual coma). This is where you would indicate how you want to be treated medi-cally should the worst happen (like a Do Not Resuscitate). Think of the media stories of people who did not document their wishes – and the families ended up in court fighting over what to do with the brain dead person. The Health Care Proxy allows a loved one to act on your behalf in this situation – like a health care POA. This also ensures the person you trust is the one making your medical decisions (and it avoids having to go to court because HIPAA prevents disclosing of your medical information).

What is a Trust? What is a Special Needs Trust?A Trust is an agreement (a contract) appointing one or more represen-tatives to handle property on behalf of another person for the benefit of a third person. Sounds complicated? Okay – as an example: You appoint your spouse to be in charge of certain of your assets for the benefit of your children. Trusts are used for all types of purposes – and it is too complex to fully cover in this short article. The Special Needs Trust is used to hold assets for a person on disability – so he or she does not lose his or her benefits. A Trust is a very powerful tool.

What do I have to do to get my estate plan done?Decide to do it. It’s easy. Call for a free consult with the expert attorney of your choice. Typically, you will have one or two meetings to review your assets and wishes. You will have several follow-up calls to finalize the documents. Then, you will meet with the attor-ney to execute (sign) all the documents before witnesses. You will receive the originals and your attorney will keep copies and notes on file. (Some attorneys will “store” your Will for you – but this is just a marketing ploy so the family will hire him or her when you die.)

How will this help my minor children?Without a provision for guardianship in your Last Will and Testament, your family will need to go to court to have someone seek appoint-ment to take care of the kids. Not only is this expensive, but also could result in your children being raised by someone you would not have chosen. A properly drafted Last Will can also provide for Trusts to ensure your minor child is not inheriting significant assets that they cannot handle or will squander.

How much does it cost?Nothing compared to the financial damage if you do not have one! Seriously: A typical estate plan for a middle class, middle aged couple is a few thousand dollars or less. It all depends on what is required to effectuate the plan. Most attorneys take charge cards and offer payment plans (I do!).

I don’t have much. Why do I need an estate plan?Most middle class families in New Jersey typically have enough as-sets and cash to owe Estate Tax (the value of the residence typically puts them into a taxable bracket). However, even the most modest estates need to properly pass assets to those they choose, appoint a guardian and trustee for the children, avoid Inheritance Taxes (see my November “All Business” article), obtain a POA and Living Will. Estate planning is not just for the 2% rich people. You can come in for a free consult to see how you could benefit.

What sort of costs are incurred by my estate?Probate in the State of New Jersey is very inexpensive (under $200 for the paperwork). Other costs could include commissions to the person handling your estate (typically waived if a family member – without a will, the court may appoint a professional who will charge); legal fees; taxes and accounting fees. Costs can be minimized with proper planning.

Is my information confidential?Absolutely. I have clients who are related who do not know I handle another family member’s estate! Attorney-client privilege is a powerful thing – I cannot even be compelled by a court to disclose your information! You stay in control of your information and always have your privacy.

Isn’t getting an estate plan sort of, you know, sad and maudlin? No. It’s necessary in our over-legislated world. Please do not let this article scare you – just let it motivate you to contact an expert estate planning attorney. Of course, I would appreciate if you called me. I am even offering a special for the next few months. You can also ask your accountant who he or she recommends. Just do it. Copyright C. Schmidt, 2015. All rights reserved. Christy A. Schmidt, Esq. is a local attorney and business consultant focusing on business, real estate and estate law. See more at: www.cschmidtlaw.com.

(All Business, continued)

Register for one of my business workshops: • Estate Planning for the Middle Class Family • Business Planning & Legal Advice for the Coach, Reiki or Yoga Practitioner!

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December 2015 Check us out online at Facebook.com/08742living 26

The holidays are stressful. No matter which one(s) you celebrate, you’re pretty much guaranteed to spend a lot of time running around, buying gifts, driving different places, talking to all kinds of crazy family members... and in the middle of all that, the LAST thing you want to do is worry about the fact that your pants are getting tighter. But it hap-pens to the best of us. A glass of eggnog here, a few cookies there, and an extra cocktail because Uncle Paul is telling an embarrassing story again... it starts to add up.

I’d love to tell you not to worry about it. An extra pound or two is not going to suddenly make you look like Shrek. But I get it. I’m a lady, too. I know what it’s like to have to jump and wiggle to get into a pair of jeans, and I know it’s not a good feeling. I’ve seen lots of lists with tips on how to avoid holiday weight gain. But these usually come from health and fitness experts who tell you to count your calories, to avoid the deli-cious treats being passed around in favor of vegetables, and to forgo alcohol altogether. Let’s face it: as much as you don’t want to get heavier, you also aren’t a star athlete trying to make a specific weight class before a big event. Where’s the happy medium? I thought I’d share with you a few real-world tips that have worked for me in the past.

Don’t go hungry Eat something before you go to a party or gathering. If you’re ravenous when you get there, you’ll probably be like me and just start shoveling food in your

The Holiday Skinnyby Katherine Kehoe

You Go Girl

mouth. If you’re not particularly hungry, you’ll be able to think about it first.

Choose wisely Look at all your options, and pick one or two things you want to indulge on. You’ll probably be fuller than you realize after just a couple of treats, and can stick to healthier options in the meantime. At the end of the day, you’ll still get to indulge!

Split with a friend If you already had too much spinach dip, but now they brought out cheesecake and oh, my God, you just can’t resist - see if someone will split a slice with you. You’ll still get to have your sweets, but for half the calories!

Volunteer to be the DD If you know you have to drive, you’ll know the limit to the drinks you’ll be able to have. This way you won’t catch yourself pouring an extra glass of wine when Mom decides to criticize your parenting skills.

Move on! This sounds cheesy, I know, but if you do wind up having too much and you feel bloated and uncomfortable and just ugh – forgive yourself. You’re human. It happens to the best of us. One or two “bad” days won’t add up as fast as you think, and even if they do, it doesn’t have to be perma-nent. Don’t punish yourself – just keep moving! Hit the gym, go for a walk, have a nice salad for dinner the next few days, and stay positive. At the end of the day, the holidays are meant to be a time of joy, and you deserve to feel it!

Beaver Dam Hardware(732) 899-4218

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The Student Section

December 2015 Check us out online at Facebook.com/08742living 28

Students of 08742Three Boro Students Among 2015 Algonquin Arts Theatre Rising StarsOn Wednesday, Nov. 11, 12 of New Jersey’s finest young musicians came together onstage at Manasquan’s Algonquin Arts Theatre to perform in the Theatre’s 17th Annual Rising Stars concert.

Algonquin’s Rising Stars is a music education and enrichment program for New Jersey’s best high-school-age classical musicians and vocalists. Established in 1999 through a partnership between the Algonquin Arts Theatre Education Department and Manasquan High School’s Performing Arts Department, the Rising Stars program provides student-musicians from across New Jersey with the oppor-tunity to perform live on the Algonquin Theatre’s famed stage at a pair of concerts as well as to refine their talents by working with guest mentors at special workshops.

Participants in the Rising Stars program are selected through a highly competitive audition process, open to all New Jersey high school students. Students must submit an application as well as a recording of their performance to be considered for a slot in the program. Audition information is distributed to every high school in New Jersey, and although, the Theatre receives numerous entries from students all across New Jersey, only a very limited number of applicants are ultimately selected. During the 2015 Rising Stars cycle, just 12 students made the cut.

Among the twelve 2015 Rising Stars were three Point Pleasant Borough High School students, including, Seniors Ruby Hyra and Kevin Jasaitis and Junior Olivia Youngman.

Olivia Youngman, a Soprano, was the Borough’s first Rising Star to take the Algonquin’s stage with her performance of Puccini’s “Un Bel Di, Vedremo.” The concert marked Miss Youngman’s second appearance as a Rising Star after having been featured in the 2014 program.

Senior Kevin Jasaitis was up next, lending his deep Baritone to “Die Forelle” by Franz Schubert.

Ruby Hyra, grade 12, was the final performer in the Borough’s trifecta. The drum major demonstrated her stunning musical talent on the bassoon with a flawless interpretation of “Bassoon Sonata, First Movement” by German composer Paul Hindemith.

Point Pleasant Borough Schools’ Choral Director for grades six through 12 Terry Bojanowski, who helped guide the students through the audition process, attended both performances, providing moral support as well as piano accompaniment to the Borough’s three Rising Stars.

“Kevin, Ruby and Olivia are exceptionally talented musicians who have certainly earned their spots among this year’s Rising Stars,” said Mrs. Bojanowski. “I am immensely proud not only of their acceptance

into this program but also their overall commitment and dedication to their music. Their acceptance into this program serves as an affirmation for the many, many hours of practice time and all the hard work they’ve put into cultivating their talent.”

Accompanying Kevin, Ruby and Olivia’s performances was an added bonus, said Bojanowski, who felt privileged to share the stage with the Rising Stars.

“It’s truly an honor to work with these students throughout their performances and to witness, firsthand, the progression of their talent,” she added.

Superintendent of Schools Vincent S. Smith attended the Nov. 11 performance, marking his seventh consecutive Rising Stars concert.

“Despite having attended the last seven Rising Stars concerts, I never cease to be amazed by the phenomenal

talent demonstrated by the students who are selected for this program,” said Superintendent Smith.

“Their performances communicate, in a way that words cannot, the extraordinary talent and skill

necessary to earn a spot among the Rising Stars.

“Even more amazing, however, is the number of Rising Stars that hail from Point Pleasant Borough High School,” he said. “Over the past 17 years, Point Pleasant Borough students have been featured in the Rising Stars program an astonishing 31 times! And this year, our students represented an incredible 25 percent of the total featured performers!

“Our students’ consistent participation in the Rising Stars

program is a tribute to the district’s first-class performing arts program,

which helps cultivate and nurture students’ talents, leading to unique opportunities

for success,” he added.

Point Pleasant Borough High School’s 2015 Rising Stars are scheduled to reprise their performances at the January Business Meeting of the Point Pleasant Borough Board of Education, where the Board will formally honor the performers for their acceptance into the prestigious program.

The 2015 Rising Stars are Amanda Batista, Manchester; Alexa Chalnick, Freehold; Lindsay Cherin, Manalapan; Dylan DiRobbio, Howell; Ryan Gattini, Galloway; Ruby Hyra, Point Pleasant; Kevin Jasaitis, Point Pleasant; Stephen Trischitta, Manasquan; David Winograd, Lincroft; Olivia Youngman, Point Pleasant; Huasun Zhang, Cape May Court House; and Justin Zhong, Galloway.

To learn more about Point Pleasant Borough Schools, visit www.pointpleasant.k12.nj.us.

Ruby Hyra

Kevin Jasaitis

Olivia Youngman

The Student Section

December 2015 Check us out online at Facebook.com/08742living 29

Point Pleasant Borough High School senior Lauren Onnembo has a lot more to be thankful for going into this holiday season after she recently signed a National Letter of Intent with Georgian Court University’s Women’s Lacrosse Team.Christmas came early for the 17-year-old Onnembo, when, taking advantage of the National Collegiate Athletic Association’s (NCAA) early signing period, she inked a deal to attend the Division II school earlier this month. “It was sudden,” Lauren said of her college application and acceptance experience. “This summer I attended a lacrosse skills training camp at Georgian Court,” she said. “After the camp, I kept in contact with the coach and went back for another visit in October and then received an offer in November. It all happened very quickly.”Fortunately, Lauren didn’t need a lot of time to consider the offer; almost immediately deciding Georgian Court was the right school for her.“Georgian Court had the right mix of everything I was looking for,” she said. “It’s close to home, and it has an outstanding teacher education program, which is what I plan to pursue. I also really loved the campus and overall atmosphere as well as the coach and my future teammates.” That familiarity and camaraderie with her teammates will be crucial during the long months of training that will see Lauren traveling throughout the tri-state area and beyond.“We’re part of the Central Atlantic Collegiate Conference, meaning we’ll compete in New Jersey, New York and Pennsylvania as well as in Delaware and Connecticut,” she said. For many students, the mere thought of combining a busy practice and competition schedule with the already hectic schedule of a college freshman would be overwhelming, but for Lauren, who Point Pleasant Borough Schools’ Athletic Director Chris Ferrone refers to as “the consummate student athlete” it’s a welcome challenge, one that’s not much different from her high school experience.Lauren’s high school career has included simultaneous participation in both the high school’s soccer and lacrosse teams for all four years of high school. She balances her busy schedule competing for both teams with membership in the high school’s Spanish Club, the Future Business Leaders of America, and the Art Club. And she manages her busy co-curricular schedule all while maintaining a grade point average in the 90’s with an academic schedule filled with Honors classes. Even summer break is not a vacation for Lauren, who spends her summer days working at Point Pleasant’s Shore Fresh Sea Food.“Lauren is very driven,” said mom Kristine Onnembo, referring to Lauren’s higher education pursuits as an example. “She worked really hard for this.”“With the prohibitive nature of college costs, Lauren’s dad and I all but decided that Lauren would attend two years at Ocean County College and then transfer to a four-year school,” said Mrs. Onnembo. “But

Point Borough’s Lauren Onnembo Commits to Play Lacrosse at Georgian Court

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(Continued on page 26)

December 2015 Check us out online at Facebook.com/08742living 30

Shore Recipes

Ham and Pepper Egg Bake10 large eggs8 oz. ham steak1 cup diced red pepperOptional: Spinkle top with 1 cup of grated sharp cheddar cheeseIn large skillet, heat a few tablespoons of olive oil and lightly sauté the onion, pepper and ham. Set aside and allow to cool. Add salt and pepper to taste. In a large bowl beat the eggs and ricotta. Pour into a greased casserole dish. Fold in ham and pepper mixture. Bake uncovered at 350 degrees for 35 minutes. Once baked this can be cooled and refrigerated. Reheat this in a covered dish for 20 minutes.

Lisa L. Colonno, Assistant Vice President, Branch Manager2307 Lakewood Road, Point Pleasant, NJ 08742732.295.0004 • [email protected]

www.manasquanbank.com

Oven Baked Caramel French Toast1 baguette or loaf of artisan style fruit and nut loaf5 eggs1 cup of milk½ cup sugar1 tsp. vanilla extractSlice bread about ¾ of an inch thick and set out to dry slightly. Melt butter in the bottom of a 13”x9” baking dish. Sprinkle ½ cup of brown sugar in the bottom. Loosely fit bread slices in the pan over sugar mixture. Mix eggs, milk, vanilla and spices in a large bowl and whisk thoroughly. Slowly pour mixture over the bread making sure each piece is fully saturated. It will appear to have excess egg but this will be absorbed over night. Sprinkle with additional brown sugar and wrap tightly with plastic wrap. Place in refrigerator over night. Bake in a preheated oven at 350 degrees for 35-45 minutes.

Everyone loves a hearty and special Christmas morning breakfast but no one wants to be stuck in the kitchen cooking. These recipes are prepared the day before and refrigerated over night. Serve with some mixed berries or a quick citrus ambrosia salad and don’t forget to set the coffee pot! Now you can wake up, pop these in the oven, and join the family for a relaxing morning of fun. Enjoy and Merry Christmas!

1 cup diced green pepper½ chopped onion½ cup ricotta

1 tsp. ground cinnamon¼ tsp. ground nutmeg½ stick of butter½ cup brown sugar, plus additional for the top

Lauren was determined to go straight into a four-year school. Of her own accord, she sought out camps and communicated with coaches and really worked to pursue her goals.”Lauren’s hard work paid off when she received her National Letter of Intent in early November, an offer that was accompanied by a generous combined academic and athletic scholarship from Georgian Court. Lauren’s parents, George and Kristine Onnembo, joined Athletic Direc-tor Chris Ferrone, Point Pleasant Borough High School Principal Kurt Karcich and Superintendent of Schools Vincent S. Smith, as Lauren signed the documents that would officially make her a GCU Lion.“Lauren exemplifies all the best qualities of our student-athletes,” said Athletic Director Ferrone. “She is dedicated, determined and hard-working and she deserves the many successes that will

surely come her way. Everyone from her teachers to her coaches and teammates agree that Lauren is someone you want on your team, and come Fall 2016, that distinct honor will belong to Georgian Court University’s Lacrosse Team.”“The district’s philosophy that co-curricular activities are an extension of the classroom, vital to student development is reflected in Lauren’s National Letter of Intent signing,” said Superintendent of Schools Vincent S. Smith. “She personifies the correlation that exists between athletic performance and academic achievement.”“There is no greater testament to our district academic and co-curricular programs than the achievement of our students,” added the Superintendent. Visit www.pointpleasant.k12.nj.us to learn more about Point Pleasant Borough Schools.

(Onnembo Commits to GCU, continued)

Disney’s Beauty and the BeastMarch 17th at 7pm, 18th at 7:30, and the 20th at 2:00pm and 7:30pm$10 admission - must reserve seatsCall Box Office at 732-701-1900 ext. 2218Concessions during intermission benefit the Drama Department

Point Pleasant Boro High School Winter Chorus Concert - 50th AnniversaryDecember 21st, 7pm HS auditoriumFREE admissionConcessions during intermission benefit the Choral DepartmentShow Choir performs Christmas musicMixed Chorus performs “Veni, Veni Emmanuel” composed by PPB Alum Dr. Michael Trotta50th Anniversary of the first Point Pleasant Boro Chorus with alumi songs “Hallelujah Chorus” and traditional “Gaelic Blessing”

Show Choir’s The Book of BroadwayJanuary 8th, 7:30 pm HS auditoriumFREE admissionConcessions during intermission benefit the Choral DepartmentThe Book of Broadway has four chapters: Classic Broadway, Movie Musicals, Broadway Revivals, and Contemporary Broadway

CabaretJanuary 22nd, 7pm HS auditorium$5 general admission at the door to benefit the Choral DepartmentFREE concessions during intermissionA talent show featuring singers, dancers, and even some stand up comedy

Point Ple

asan

t B

oro High School • 2015-2016 •

December 2015 Check us out online at Facebook.com/08742living 32

BEFORE AFTER

& NASTY CRAWL SPACES, TOO!

PROTECT YOUR HOME FROM:

• Mold • Mildew • Bugs • Odors • Cold Floors

a full perimeter systemCannot be combined with any other offer. Not valid for prior

work, must be presented at time of estimate. Expires 12/31/15.

$500 OF

F

NY Lic # 1274423 • NJHIC# 13VH01833300

CONTACT US FOR A FREE ESTIMATE866-995-8329S h o re B a s e m e n t .co m

BASEMENT WATERPROOFING

BASEMENT FLOORING & WALLS

FOUNDATION REPAIR

BASEMENT INSULATION

HUMIDITY & MOLD CONTROL

CONCRETE RAISING & VOID FILL