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Love in the time of the Internet

Chei BilledoDept. of Psychology

What is LOVE?

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LOVE

• LOVE is a construct• Construct

– An abstract theoretical variable that is used to explainsome phenomenon which is of interest to scientists

– Operationalize!

Interpersonal Attraction

• A person’s desire to approach another individual• Positive evaluation of others• There are several factors that determine to

whom we get attracted to and how strong ourattractions are: attraction cues

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Attraction Cues

• Characteristics and Behaviors of the Personsinvolved– Physical attractiveness– Actual similarity– Perceived similarity– Reciprocity

• Gain-loss hypothesis

Attraction Cues

• Characteristics of the Situation– Familiarity

• Proximity (the location of the people relative to one another)• Propinquity (the actual contact between individuals)

– Situations inducing emotional arousal– Novel and unusual Situations

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Romantic Relationships

• Socioevolutionary Theory (Wright, 1995)• Social Exchange Theory (Thibault and Kelly, 1952)• Equity Theory (Walster, Walster and Berscheid, 1978• Triangular Theory (Sternberg, 1986)

Socio-Evolutionary Theory

• Human being’s innate evolutionary mechanismguides the selection of potential mates tomaximize genetic fitness

• Two adaptive functions of romantic relationships:– sexual reproduction– bonding for the care of the offspring

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Triangular Theory

3 important components– Intimacy: those feelings that promote closeness,

bondedness and connectedness

– Passion: “a state of intense longing for union with theother”; motivational and other sources of physiologicaland emotional arousal (sexual feelings)

– Commitment: decision that one loves a certain other(short-term aspect); the commitment to maintain thatlove over time (long-term aspect)

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What is the Internet?

•A set of numerous interconnected networks that enablecommunication between or among computers.

•The convergence of computers and telecommunicationshas led to a new medium for communication calledcomputer-mediated communication (CMC).

•What is the internet for?

What is the Internet?

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What is computer-mediated communication (CMC)?

•Narrow bandwidth – does not transmit much of theinformation available

•In-person communication is considered as “widebandwidth” people communicate in real time (i.e. atthe same time) using multiple modes simultaneously

•Multi-modal CMCs – webcam, headset, etc.•3d chat?

What is computer-mediated communication (CMC)?

CLASSIFICATIONS OF CMC

•Asynchronous – communication is notsimultaneous; time lag

(e.g., e-mail, forum, blog, socialnetwork sites)

•Synchronous – communication occurssimultaneously between two or moreusers; real-time (e.g., im, chat,videoconference, 3D Chat)

CLASSIFICATIONS OF CMC

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CYBERSPACE?

Cyberspace was a term coined by science fiction writerWilliam Gibson in his novel Neuromancer (1984): “…aconsensual hallucination…”

CYBERSPACE?

- The use of the word “space” can be described as a… “physical” space - Spatial metaphors; contextual co-presence“social” space – built on interaction of users“psychological” space

What is “there” in cyberspace?

What is “there” in cyberspace?

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Unique features according to Suler (2007):•Reduced sensation•Texting•Identity flexibility/anonymity•Altered perceptions•Equalized status•Transcend spaces•Temporal flexibility•Social multiplicity•Recordability•Media disruption•Blackhole experiences

Unique features:

3Communication Online

•Use of emoticons - :-)•Emotes (verbalization of actions) - *hug*•Strategic use of punctuations/capital letters – Hello???!!!! I AMANGRY!•Paralinguistic markers – Hmmmm.. Ahhh… Oooohhh..•Misspellings – Wuv you!•Acronyms – ctc, gtg, brb, hb, rofl, ttyl•Territorial behaviors – flooding (sending too many messagesconsecutively so that others would have difficulty sending)

Communication Online

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Anonymity and the Self

•Defining the self•Self-Description (web-pages, social network pages, blog)•Nick/sn•Avatar•Online behavior

•* There is plasticity of self online. It allows people to playseveral identities.

Anonymity and the Self

•How do people present themselves in cyberspace?

Walther (2000): Social Information Processing Theory – message sendersportray themselves in a socially desirable manner in order to draw attention ofmessage receivers and foster anticipation of future interaction.

How do people present themselves in cyberspace?

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Do people lie then?Miller (1995): the selves presented in web pages do not seem to bequalitatively different from “selves” presented in other ways

Clay (2000): in interactive CMC, there is an attempt to express the “real self”online, especially when one desires to form and maintain relationships

Do people lie then?

Anonymity and Disinhibition

Disinhibition – reduced self-regulation;Two major effects:

1. People use it to act out a certain need or emotion (e.g.,flaming, cybersex, gender switching)

2. Accelerated and Increased level of disclosure

Anonymity and Disinhibition

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LOVE online?

Stage 1: The use of attraction cuesin online interactions

• Age and Sex• Attractiveness (Nick, Avatar and Self-presentation)

• Similarity• Proximity and familiarity (intersection frequency)

• Overlapping social circles• Physical attractiveness

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Stage 2: The establishment of intimacyleading to friendship

• Similarity• Perceived characteristics• Perceived quality of communication

Stage 3: The intensification of attractionleading to a romantic relationship

• Exclusivity, Regularity, length of theinteraction

• High Level of disclosure• Other forms of communication (text,

phone, e-mail, webcam) – Back-channeling

• Validation of existence (pictures, otherforms of communication)

• Terms of Endearment

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Stage 3 (continuation)

• Long-term plans/meeting in person• Verbalization of feelings towards each

other(“pasakalye” – “halabsyu”, “wuv you”)

• Verbalization of the physical aspect ofintimacy(mwah, “cyber foreplay”, phone sex)

• Physical attractiveness (nick, self-description, pictures)

Stage 4: The decision to meet in person

• Physical attractiveness stillplays a role, but not as big as“in-person” meeting only

• Initial meeting is usually anaffirmation of the intimacyestablished online

• Accelerated physical intimacy:holding hands, kissing, neckingand petting, sexual intercourse

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Stage 5: The decision to continue orterminate the romantic relationship aftermeeting in person

Online versus In-person• Similarities

– Perceived and actualsimilarities

– Reciprocity– Proximity and

familiarity/propinquity effects(intersection frequency)

– Novelty of the situation(inherent online)

– Physical attractiveness

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Online versus In-person• Differences

– Location– Accelerated intimacy online

• higher levels of self-disclosure on CMC• hasty verbalization (limited non-verbal cues,

deindividuation effects)

– Physical components of a relationship

Heightened attraction?

Social Identity model of DeindividuationEffects(SIDE) theoryby Postmes, Spears & Lea (1998)

• Members of the ingroup and the outgroup are bothtreated as stereotypical group members: Ingroupfavoritism increases, and outgroup bias/rejection isheightened

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Hyperpersonal Perspectiveby Walther,1997

“selective self-presentation”• editing and off-line processing for the purpose

of presenting self in a more desirable manner• people may idealize the impressions that they

construct of their communication partners

Attraction Cues Attraction Cues

Computer-mediatedCommunication (IRC)

In-personCommunication

Lack ofIntimacy

Intimacy IntimacyLack ofintimacy

Friendship RomanticRelationship Romantic

RelationshipFriendship

AcquaintanceAcquaintance

Long-termCommitment

Termination ofRelationship

Termination ofRelationship Decision

to meetIn-person

IN-PERSON INTERACTIONONLINE INTERACTION

THE FORMATION OF INTERPERSONAL ATTRACTION AND ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP ONLINE

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• Meaningful relationships are formed throughonline interaction.

• The question is not whether the relationshipis real or not, but whether the relationship iscomplete or not.

• Friendships, which rely solely on intimacy,may be complete online.

• A romantic relationship, on the other hand,demands physical component. This becomesthe impetus for couples to move from onlineto “in-person” interaction.

• The theories of attraction based on in-personinteractions are applicable to onlineinteractions with slight modifications.

• (AND THE INTERNET IS NOT JUST FORPORN! – chei monster)

thank you! gtg! ;-)

thank you! gtg! ;-)

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Email me

cfbilledo@yahoo.com