010 letters√√
1
GO, DIANE! It was so inspiring to read your interview with Diane Abbott [July issue]. I agreed with her point about how it is odd that the USA now has a black president and yet the UK has a serious lack of black representatives. It’s about time someone took to the stand – ideally, an ambitious black woman! Diane stated in the article that she relies on the community when faced with difficulties. As challenging as her fight to become Labour’s leader may be, I can assure her that I am right behind her, as are many others in the black community. Nikita, via email We’ve GotMail Our monthly look at what you’re writing to us. Pride is published by Pride Media Group Ltd, Pride House, 55 Battersea Bridge Rd, London SW11 3AX Tel: 020 7228 3110 Fax: 020 7801 6717 www.pridemagazine.com Distribution by COMAG 01895 444055 © 2010 reserved by Pride Media Group Ltd. Reproduction in whole or in part without prior permission is strictly prohibited. Transparencies and unsolicited manuscripts are submitted at owner’s risk and, while every care is taken, neither Pride nor its agents accept liability for loss or damage. All information is correct at time of going to press. ISSN 0963-1720 Pride magazine is committed to producing an informative, contentious and provocative publication. Our contributors offer a diversity of views; their opinions are their own and not necessarily shared by Pride Media Group Ltd. ON THE COVER: Shingai Shoniwa PHOTOGRAPHER: Joseph Sinclair FASHION: Shevelle Rhule MAKE-UP: Yasmina Bentaieb using Bobbi Brown and Ciate Nails HAIR: Kenna at Terrie Tanaka Management using Kiehl’s RETOUCHING by Joe McCormick Star Letter Address all correspondence to: Pride Magazine, Pride House, 55 Battersea Bridge Road, London SW11 3AX or email us at [email protected] The editor reserves the right to edit letters for clarity. TOP OF THE POPS After reading your feature “In Celebration of Our Single Fathers” [June issue], I was really moved by the level of maturity and commitment these men displayed. Too often, men who are real fathers to their children are overlooked and underrepresented. I think it’s about time we gave props where they are due. Black fathers, we salute you! Michelle, via email SAS WOMEN I absolutely loved the July issue’s Couch Talk, “Are You an SAS (Successful, Attractive and Single) Woman?” As a woman at the modest age of 38, I sometimes feel the pressure to settle down just for the sake of it – because most of my family/ peers have. I’ve had a good examination of my life, and I’ve come to the realization that, actually, I’m quite content with the way it is, even without Mr Right. That doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with dating in the hope he’ll come along one day; in fact, when he does, I hope he will sweep me off my feet! But for now, I’m happy, and I encourage any other ladies in the same circumstance to enjoy single life while they still can. Carolina Oyekanmi, via email 92 Diane Abbott A force to be reckoned with DIANE 92-093 NEW Di CORRECTION: In the “Lady Muck” fashion shoot in the July issue, this dress was incorrectly credited. It is actually by Deenola; www.deenola.bigcartel.com Entertainment Editor Joanna Abeyie (020 7326 9119) Editorial Assitant Denise Kodia Features Editor Cynthia Lawrence (020 7326 9110) Fashion & Beauty Editor Shevelle Rhule (020 7326 9109) Contributing Writers Akwasi Duodu, Vanessa Walters, Savahna Nightingale Editorial Interns Alison Awoyera, Tosin Omilaju, Jessica Hollie Williams, Joy Ejaria, Tanya Royes Head of Design/Production Isabel Matias Sub Editors sandseditorial.co.uk Photography gettyimages, 123rf, dreamstime, istockphoto Advertising Manager Michelle Bertin (020 7326 9102) Accounts [email protected] Publisher/Director CJ Cushnie 10 Letters Kevin Morrison Age: 40 Occupation: Property investor I was 21 when I learned I was going to be a father with my girlfriend of two years. It wasn’t planned, but I guess at the time I wasn’t so sensible. I knew what I was doing, but I didn’t think of the consequences. Initially, I was scared, simply because I wasn’t expecting it and it was such a surprise, but I was prepared to take responsibility. I was working at BT at the time and had started investing, so financially, I was fine. I just couldn’t imagine not being around my child. 52 Single Fathers Single Fathers “Babyfather” is often meant as a derogatory term for an absent black father. While black single mothers are constantly celebrated, single fathers remain invisible. Here are two single fathers who are deserving of our praise. My relationship started to get quite rocky. I had my ways and she had hers, and we were always arguing as a result. I suppose we just couldn’t stay together as a couple. The relationship inevitably broke down during her pregnancy, but I couldn’t not be around to raise my daughter. I was at the birth of Nikaela, and it was a life-changing experience for me. You’re always used to thinking about yourself and all of a sudden there’s somebody else to think about. It was certainly an eye-opener! It was not an amicable split with Nikaela’s mother, so I would be visiting my daughter at her house. However, two years later, her mother admitted that she couldn’t look after her, since she also had an older son from a previous relationship and felt she couldn’t cope with the two of them. It was quite unsettling for my daughter, and that is when I took over as her sole parent and guardian. If I’m honest, I wasn’t really fearful of the challenges, as I had a good support network, which was mainly my mum and family. Most of the challenges were to do with how effective I was going to be in trying to play the “motherly” role. Simple things like taking Nikaela to the toilet when she was a toddler when we were out could be quite challenging since I’d have to take her into the men’s toilets! Those were simple things that most mums wouldn’t normally worry about. In all other aspects, raising Nikaela was fine, but it was hard trying to explain to her where her mother was or why she didn’t have a mummy like her other friends who came to school with their mums. All I could tell her at that age was that her mum was not well, assure her that she was loved and explain that some kids live with their dads and some with their mums. In one sense, I had to be strong in order to act as both mum and dad. To be honest, there were not many things that I felt I couldn’t do as a single parent, 53 In celebration of our single fathers! “My daughters mother couldn’t cope.” Kevin and Nicheala in Egypt in August 2009 on his 40th birthday 010 letters√√.indd 10 21/7/10 19:25:21
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Photography gettyimages, 123rf, dreamstime, istockphoto In the “Lady Muck” fashion shoot in the July issue, this dress was incorrectly credited. It is actually by Deenola; www.deenola.bigcartel.com Editorial Assitant Denise Kodia Editorial Interns Alison Awoyera, Tosin Omilaju, Jessica Hollie Williams, Joy Ejaria, Tanya Royes Advertising Manager Michelle Bertin (020 7326 9102) Entertainment Editor Joanna Abeyie (020 7326 9119) Shingai Shoniwa Sub Editors sandseditorial.co.uk ON THE COVER:
Transcript of 010 letters√√
GO, DIANE!It was so inspiring to read your interview with Diane Abbott [July issue]. I agreed with her point about how it is odd that the USA now has a black president and yet the UK has a serious lack of black representatives. It’s about time someone took to the stand – ideally, an ambitious black woman! Diane stated in the article that she relies on the community when faced with difficulties. As challenging as her fight to become Labour’s leader may be, I can assure her that I am right behind her, as are many others in the black community. Nikita, via email
We’veGotMailOur monthly look at what you’re writing to us.
Pride is published by Pride Media Group Ltd, Pride House, 55 Battersea Bridge Rd, London SW11 3AX Tel: 020 7228 3110 Fax: 020 7801 6717 www.pridemagazine.com
Distribution by COMAG 01895 444055 © 2010 reserved by Pride Media Group Ltd. Reproduction in whole or in part without prior permission is strictly prohibited. Transparencies and unsolicited manuscripts are submitted at owner’s risk and, while every care is taken, neither Pride nor its agents accept liability for loss or damage. All information is correct at time of going to press. ISSN 0963-1720
Pride magazine is committed to producing an informative, contentious and provocative publication. Our contributors offer a diversity of views; their opinions are their own and not necessarily shared by Pride Media Group Ltd.
ON THE COVER:Shingai ShoniwaPHOTOGRAPHER: Joseph Sinclair FASHION: Shevelle RhuleMAKE-UP: Yasmina Bentaieb using Bobbi Brown and Ciate Nails HAIR: Kenna at Terrie Tanaka Management using Kiehl’s RETOUCHING by Joe McCormickStar Letter
Address all correspondence to: Pride Magazine, Pride House, 55 Battersea Bridge Road, London SW11 3AX or email us at [email protected] The editor reserves the right to edit letters for clarity.
TOP OF THE POPSAfter reading your feature “In Celebration of Our Single Fathers” [June issue], I was really moved by the level of maturity and commitment these men displayed. Too often, men who are real fathers to their children are overlooked and underrepresented. I think it’s about time we gave props where they are due. Black fathers, we salute you!Michelle, via email
SAS WOMENI absolutely loved the July issue’s Couch Talk, “Are You an SAS (Successful, Attractive and Single) Woman?” As a woman at the modest age of 38, I sometimes feel the pressure to settle down just for the sake of it – because most of my family/peers have. I’ve had a good examination of my life, and I’ve come to the realization that, actually, I’m quite content with
the way it is, even without Mr Right. That doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with dating in the hope he’ll come along one day; in fact, when he does, I hope he will sweep me off my feet! But for now, I’m happy, and I encourage any other ladies in the same circumstance to enjoy single life while they still can.Carolina Oyekanmi, via email
92
Diane Abbott
A force to be reckoned with DiAne Abbott
092-093 NEW DianaAbbott-cj√√.indd 92
21/6/10 18:59:54
CORRECTION: In the “Lady Muck” fashion shoot in the July issue, this dress was incorrectly credited. It is actually by Deenola; www.deenola.bigcartel.com
Entertainment EditorJoanna Abeyie (020 7326 9119)
Editorial AssitantDenise Kodia
Features EditorCynthia Lawrence (020 7326 9110)
Fashion & Beauty EditorShevelle Rhule (020 7326 9109)
Contributing WritersAkwasi Duodu, Vanessa Walters,
Savahna Nightingale
Editorial InternsAlison Awoyera, Tosin Omilaju,
Jessica Hollie Williams, Joy Ejaria, Tanya Royes
Head of Design/ProductionIsabel Matias
Sub Editorssandseditorial.co.uk
Photographygettyimages, 123rf,
dreamstime, istockphoto
Advertising ManagerMichelle Bertin (020 7326 9102)
Publisher/DirectorCJ Cushnie
10
Letters
TOP TOP
Kevin MorrisonAge: 40Occupation: Property investor
I was 21 when I learned I was going to be a father with my girlfriend of two years. It wasn’t planned, but I guess at the time I wasn’t so sensible. I knew what I was doing, but I didn’t think of the consequences. Initially, I was scared, simply because I wasn’t expecting it and it was such a surprise, but I was prepared to take responsibility. I was working at BT at the time and had started investing, so financially, I was fine. I just couldn’t imagine not being around my child.52
Single Fathers
Single Fathers
“Babyfather” is often meant as a derogatory term for an absent black father. While black single mothers are constantly celebrated, single fathers remain invisible. Here are two single fathers who are deserving of our praise.
My relationship started to get quite rocky. I had my ways and she had hers, and we were always arguing as a result. I suppose we just couldn’t stay together as a couple. The relationship inevitably broke down during her pregnancy, but I couldn’t not be around to raise my daughter. I was at the birth of Nikaela, and it was a life-changing experience for me. You’re always used to thinking about yourself and all of a sudden there’s somebody else to think about. It was certainly an eye-opener! It was not an amicable split with Nikaela’s mother, so I would be visiting my daughter at her house. However, two years later, her
mother admitted that she couldn’t look after her, since she also had an older son from a previous relationship and felt she couldn’t cope with the two of them. It was quite unsettling for my daughter, and that is when I took over as her sole parent and guardian. If I’m honest, I wasn’t really fearful of the challenges, as I had a good support network, which was mainly my mum and family. Most of the challenges were to do with how effective I was going to be in trying to play the “motherly” role. Simple things like taking Nikaela to the toilet when she was a toddler when we were out could be quite challenging since I’d have to take her into the men’s
toilets! Those were simple things that most mums wouldn’t normally worry about. In all other aspects, raising Nikaela was fine, but it was hard trying to explain to her where her mother was or why she didn’t have a mummy like her other friends who came to school with their mums. All I could tell her at that age was that her mum was not well, assure her that she was loved and explain that some kids live with their dads and some with their mums. In one sense, I had to be strong in order to act as both mum and dad.
To be honest, there were not many things that I felt I couldn’t do as a single parent,
53
In celebration of our single singlesinglefathers! “My daughters mother couldn’t cope.”Kevin and Nicheala in
Egypt in August 2009 on his 40th birthday
010 letters√√.indd 10 21/7/10 19:25:21
