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Transcript of file · Web viewFamilies in the Family of God “Field Study” of Alyssa Ondrovich for Ministry to...
“Field Study” for Alyssa Ondrovich
By Chris Ondrovich
Families in the Family of God “Field Study” of Alyssa Ondrovich for Ministry to Families
class at the Pentecostal Theological Seminary. This field study is an attempt to look at the
various relationships that Alyssa encounters at home, school and in church. The goal will be to
look at the long term results of each relationship and how those influence each area of her life,
specifically looking at church relationships and activities.
Alyssa Joelle Ondrovich is my nine year old daughter. Alyssa was born to Chris and
Christa Ondrovich. Chris is from southern Ohio and Christa is from Cleveland, Tennessee. I have
been an associate pastor, youth pastor and children’s pastor during her nine years. She’s always
witnessed me on stage, preaching or leading groups, but we always try to spend time together
as a family. Her mother, Christa, has been a daycare director and teacher and has lead or
participated in worship teams all of Alyssa’s life. Alyssa also has an older brother, Jaden, who is
two years older than her. He has always been a best friend to her. Alyssa was born in
Tennessee, has moved to Maryland, Virginia, and Ohio and now lives in Minot, North Dakota;
where I am the associate pastor and her mom is an ELL Teacher. She was recently asked how
much does she enjoy Minot and she responded by saying, “she really likes it. Most people think
Minot is a small town but I think it is really big.” Alyssa is in the third grade at Longfellow
Elementary. She recently stopped playing travel ball on her soccer team and is interested in
playing the violin in fourth grade. Alyssa played soccer with her older brother, they were on
two separate teams. The amount of time it takes from the family to play soccer was more than
they liked plus in North Dakota it gets cold outside. Alyssa has three main circles of influence in
her life: School, Family, and Church. We will look at each circle of influence and how they affect
each other and spending majority of the time looking at Alyssa’s church relationships, activities
she is involved in and how those affect her and her family.
Despite moving five times in her short nine years, Alyssa seems to be adjusting well in
class. She struggled at first with reading and math but now is excelling at it. From what her
teacher tells us she is exceptional in class. Alyssa loves to be the teacher’s helper, even though
she gets in trouble from time to time from talking to her friends too much. She keeps a pretty
structured daily routine with me doing homework and practice tests. When it comes to making
friends, being a preacher’s kid isn’t always easy. Alyssa and Jaden have learned quickly to make
fast friends. Though we tend to stay busy with church activities and trips, Jaden and Alyssa find
ways to keep connected. Today’s technology is one helpful thing for them. In North Dakota, it
isn’t always easy for them to just go out in play. Six months out of the year it is winter. Through
Xbox and computers they are able to stay connected and play with friends online and talk to
family members through Skype or Face Time.
Alyssa has always had a strong motherly instinct about her. She is automatically
attracted to any baby within 50 feet of her. At times, I wonder if it has anything to do with the
fact that her brother has had some major medical conditions. Jaden was born with Hemophilia
A. Hemophilia is a genetic bleeding disorder passed down to him from his grandfather. We’ve
been in and out of the hospital for different procedures and checkups. Alyssa has watched us
care for him her whole life. Now looking at Jaden you wouldn’t know that he has a condition.
He’s a normal, crazy fifth grader that just wants to play video games every chance he gets. Of
course Alyssa, being the younger sibling, wants to do anything her older brother likes. It tends
to bug Jaden at times, but most of the time he enjoys the company. When was Alyssa asked
about her brother, she said “I like him because he’s my brother and he helps me out when I’m
in trouble or when I can’t find something.”
Alyssa’s mother, Christa, is an only child. So Alyssa’s grandparents, Ron and Beth Hurst
in Cleveland, TN, cannot get enough of their grandkids, but what grandparent doesn’t. How
dare the family move all the way out to Minot, North Dakota? The distance doesn’t seem to
have stopped the grandparents on either side from visiting. If too much time has passed “Nana”
will make sure to call or now Skype with Alyssa. On my side of the family there are two uncles
and an aunt with a boat load of cousins.
Christa and I have been married for 14 years. We strive not to argue, but set a Godly
example before the children. Before each meal we take turns praying. Alyssa and Jaden have
their memorized prayer but Jaden has been venturing off in prayer trying out his own words.
Alyssa still has trouble closing her eyes while she prays. She likes to see what others are doing
or making sure her food is ready as soon as the prayer is finished. But most of the time, she
sticks to the memorized prayer. Before going to bed each night one of her parents will tuck her
in and say a prayer with her in the past we’ve read stories from a favorite book or Bible stories
from a devotional. We’ve now moved on to discipleship training once a week. Alyssa and Jaden
sit down with me and go through Pentecostal catechism training with John Harris Jr.’s “I
Believe” material. Alyssa really enjoys getting to know more about the Word and begs me to
tell her when the next training is going to be, especially if she knows next Saturday will be busy.
If we got too busy to do discipleship on the regular day, she’ll make sure I know about it.
Alyssa and Jaden have grown up in the church, it’s all they’ve known. Both of them have
come to the age of knowledge and asked for forgiveness of sin and asked Jesus into their heart.
Before they could walk they’ve been part of church. There were days when we’d arrive with
Alyssa as a baby to youth group and wouldn’t see her until youth service was over. The teens
and youth leaders would take turns holding her. Jaden and Alyssa during off days would play
throughout the church and always made sure to make it on stage and pretend to have their
own church services. One of the greatest moments that I can recall as a father with his
daughter is a time in Virginia. We were having a great youth service and the Holy Spirit was
moving among the teens and Alyssa, at five years old, walked into the altar and lifted her hands
and just began to worship. I was so moved that I took a picture of my daughter worshipping
God on her own. It was one of the first times that I saw my daughter express her faith on her
own.
Alyssa is involved in a variety of groups at church. On Sundays she attends a 9:30am
Sunday school class for 1st-3rd Graders with Marilyn Jones, who has been teaching the class for
years. In the class they typically follow a schedule produced by Mischelle Heber, the Children’s
Ministry director. A normal class will go over the verse or story in the Bible. Marilyn will take
time to ask each child questions about what they think of the story or what do they think the
verse means. They also have a craft or illustration to go along with the story and then have
some type of paperwork to send home with each child. At 10:30am on Sunday she attends
Children’s Church with Mischelle Heber, the Children’s Ministry director, who is also the Senior
Pastor’s wife. She recently took over for her daughter who has been the Children’s pastor for 8
years. Those that are in 1st-5th grade attend Children’s Church. Children’s church normally has a
lot of energy, prizes for games, good behavior, bringing your Bible and participation, worship
songs, video teaching aids, skits, a small sermonette and prayer time. Currently there are about
20 children that attend and all remark how much they enjoy their time. Normally each
children’s church theme or verse coincides with the sermon being presented to the adults. This
is to hope that families would have time to discuss what was taught in both locations. Alyssa
seems to thoroughly enjoy her time in Children’s Church. She regularly participates in games,
discussion and prayer time. This past Sunday I taught in Children’s Church. Alyssa was involved
in every aspect of the morning. The children in children’s church generally all seem willing and
desire to participate in all the activities.
When I took the time to interview staff that is close to Alyssa, Mischelle, our children’s
ministry director, sent this email:
I have known Alyssa for about 3 years. This is some of what I observed of her character. She is very even
tempered, she has learned to adjust to situations without getting moody, upset, or complaining. She
seems to be a very happy child. She is very obedient to her parents, she understands what they expect of
her and she does it. She does not complain, but puts her heart into the task that she is assigned, she does
not expect treats or praise for her obedience, she just does listens. I would say that she is scared to get in
trouble so she does what is expected.
Alyssa has a strong interest in domestic activities, she enjoys helping to cook and bake. She is highly
interested in babies and toddlers. She wants to carry them, play with them and assist in their care. She
can understand a list of directions and carry them out. From my observation she does not need a lot of
supervision with her tasks, (but I do not see her in the home with activities such as cleaning her room and
doing homework.) She enjoys hugging and is very affectionate. Most of the time she sees me, she wants a
hug. She is considerate of others, she shares well and wants everyone to be included. She plays fair, she is
not super competitive, she just wants to have fun. She is interested in God's word and wants to learn the
stories and the application for her life. She has a conscious and will choose the right way of doing things.
On Wednesday nights, the church serves a free meal to all who attend and Alyssa helps
with the food preparation and set up. She really enjoys learning how to prepare the food and
serving. Being that she is the associate pastor’s daughter, she tends to get more involved. As
her father, I’ve made it point to teach our children the value of servanthood. Jaden and Alyssa
both have become professionals at setting up chairs and using floor sweepers. Sometimes I
wonder if it can be a short term disadvantage to my children that I make them work and set up
and tear down, while their friends are off somewhere else in the building goofing off. Many
times though I’ve personally witnessed those few people who have a heart of a servant and
work tirelessly with no complaint while just ten feet away eight other attenders just stand there
and talk. I don’t want my children to be ones who don’t know what it is to know how to work
and stay to the end until the jobs done; to have a servant’s heart.
This past Sunday I noticed that there was trash from the road just outside the main
entrance to the building. I asked Alyssa and Jaden to come over and instructed them about how
we need to take care of God’s house and keep it looking good. I pointed out the trash near the
building and asked them to pick it up. The kids didn’t blink an eye and went to work. After that I
didn’t think much of it. A woman that was working in our coffee area came up to me afterwards
in tears and began to explain to me how powerful that moment was to witness, that she wished
her kids were better trained up now that they are adults and thanked me for being a good
father. That moment proved once again that not only are we exampling good family values to
our kids but to everyone else that watches.
Every Wednesday Jaden and Alyssa set up chairs and without fail Alyssa will be in the
kitchen, at nine years old, asking what she can do to help cook the meal. What’s interesting
about that situation is, she’s the only child that shows interest. I also recognize that her position
as the daughter of a pastor allows her certain relationships and the fact that her mom and dad
are both in the kitchen asking the same question at times. Most of the time Alyssa beats us to
it. Her brother Jaden does just what needs to be done or what is asked of him. After he has
completed the task he disappears to more appealing ventures, usually involving a video screen.
When Alyssa was asked why she gets involved in the kitchen, her response was: “I just want
something to do, I want to learn to cook, and I like being helpful.” I find that Alyssa has a very
caring heart that goes along with her motherly instinct. She’s definitely a hugger at this age. If
she knows you are a friend she makes sure to give you a hug and at times more than one. She
always hugs Mischelle and Pastor Jeff our Senior Pastor. She maintains a close relationship with
them. It doesn’t hurt that Pastor Jeff keeps a jar full of candy just for them in his office.
After the meal there is a great deal of clean up and Jaden and Alyssa jump in with floor
sweepers and putting up chairs. Once all the cleanup is done, everyone goes to their respected
classes. There are adult men and women’s classes, youth classes for the teenagers, elementary
aged class, preschool class and nursery. Alyssa being a 3rd grader stays in the fellowship hall
with the elementary aged class. Currently there are 8 children that attend the Wednesday night
class. This class is a mixture of children’s church and Bible study for the kids. They normally
have a couple worship songs, games and then open their Bibles for a lesson. After the lesson
the kids can recite memory verses and get memory money to spend at “the candy shack” that
has all kinds of goodies for them. Alyssa tends to be pretty attentive to keeping up with her
memory money and memorizing verses. I’m not sure that she necessarily understands the
purpose of memorizing verses, other than to get memory money to spend.
Other events that Alyssa is involved in are: recently she joined up with the drama team
and has performed in front of the church and for Junior Talent. She says it makes her nervous
but she enjoys it. For the last two years she has participated in the Easter production and is
always volunteering to have a part of some kind. The last two years she’s been a villager who is
resurrected to life by Jesus. Every church we’ve been to Alyssa has participated in every event
the church puts on or is involved in from VBS, Fall Family Fun Night, State Fair clean up,
Christmas play, live nativity, dinners and more.
Alyssa participates in Sunday school, Wednesday night fellowship meal & Elementary
Bible Class, Children’s Church, drama team, Youth camp, VBS and special events. As a family, we
encourage our children to participate in church activities and believe that her involvement will
help encourage/grow her faith. Church is a great place for her to experiment and try out her
faith. For us, church should reinforce the teachings of the Word of God that we teach at home.
In the interviews, I was able to learn a lot of different perspectives and there were a lot
of commonalities. I was able to interview her mother Christa, her brother Jaden, Senior Pastor
Jeff Heber, Children’s Pastor and Bible teacher Cassandra Rodgers, Children’s Ministry Director
Mischelle Heber and Alyssa, herself. We’ve already gotten to see a detailed reply from
Mischelle early in the paper. A synopsis of what Mischelle shared is that Alyssa is caring, helpful
and wants to learn more about God.
Cassandra Rodgers shared that, “Alyssa makes sure people are involved and that new
people are comfortable. She pays attention and tries to answer questions. She’s always willing
to lend a helping hand and likes to talk a lot for her benefit and detriment.”
Senior Pastor Jeff Heber shared, “Alyssa is very welcoming. She always goes out of her
way to give a hug. She expresses affection to everyone she knows. She makes sure to include
everyone in Bible study or church. She seems to be a very happy child. She is selfless and
mature beyond her years.”
Jaden Ondrovich is Alyssa’s brother. I attempted to get Jaden to communicate some of
his ideas about his sister but he kept coming up with blanks. He did end up sharing that, “she
loves me sometimes.” I asked why only sometimes and he said, “Because sometimes I do things
she doesn’t like.” The only thing he didn’t like about her was that she acts crazy sometimes.
Christa Ondrovich, Alyssa’s mother shared that, “she is more free spirited than her
brother. She is a people pleaser, very tender hearted and compassionate child. She’s always
concerned about others. She is very inquisitive, especially about things concerning God. She
seems very grown up for her age, she acts more like a teen in a kid’s body; that may be because
she grew up in a youth group all her life. In her spirituality, she is very inquisitive about all
things of God, she has lots of questions. She loves doing memory verses, but that may be
because she gets memory money. She always makes sure to go over any paperwork sent home
by her Sunday school teachers. Lastly, when we pray at night she always ask for specific things
to pray for, but has yet to begin praying in her own way.”
With interviewing Alyssa I took different opportunities to speak to her about
relationships, friends, school and church. Most of her comments centered on why she liked
certain people or places. I asked her about what she thought about our family she shared, “She
loves her mother because she provides for the family by cooking and working.” She also likes
that her mom lets her cook and do other things around the house. Of course when speaking
about her brother, Jaden she liked him when he helps her. She doesn’t like how they fight over
things. When it came down to church she had a few things to share; “I like to learn about God
and the disciples. I have a lot of friends at church and we have fun learning about God.
Everyone is nice at church and gives stuff to us. We get candy and leftovers! I like working in the
kitchen; it gives me something to do. I want to learn how to cook and I like being around those
in the kitchen. I’m not sure why others don’t help in the kitchen, maybe their dads don’t let
them help. “
When asked about school, Alyssa answered by saying she loved all the teachers she’s
had: 1st grade teacher, 2nd grade teacher and 3rd grade teacher. I asked what made her love
them so much, she shared that help her learn. They also helped her with things she’s struggled
with. One interesting point, I asked her what she would want to be when she grows up and she
shared she’d like to be a teacher. I asked her what made her pick a teacher. She shared that
teachers help people learn and she’d like to help people too. I think this may be partially
because her mother is a teacher.
The commonalties that we find in the many interviews from different perspectives are
that Alyssa is a very caring person. She is selfless, friendly, welcoming and a talker. In her
spirituality, she is very curious and still a nine years old following what adults in her life tell her
to do. She does venture out on occasion to try her own way but mostly sticks to the book of
how to do things in prayer and memorizing scripture. She does know what it is to be involved
and has already unconsciously incorporated a heart of a servant and continually looks out for
those around her. She has a maturity beyond her years. I pray that the maturity includes
wisdom to make great decisions. As a father, I couldn’t be more pleased with the many things
she has already accomplished at this age.
Now that we’ve taken the opportunity to look at Alyssa’s life from observations, and
interviews, let’s analysis how each group, activity and/or person relate to each by either
enhancing or detracting from Alyssa’s overall spiritual growth. At home, Alyssa’s primary faith
upbringing has been by example, stories, and now “Pentecostal Catechism” and discipleship by
her father.
Alyssa attends Children’s Church on Sundays where she worships to kid’s style worship,
goes over Bible truths and stories by videos and object lessons. They also give her an
opportunity to respond through prayer. In this environment, she is not isolated but is learning
and interacting with children near her same age. Children’s church also allows her to have the
opportunity to volunteer through different responsibilities and duties requested by the
Children’s pastor. The only requirement to be in children’s church is to be in first through sixth
grade. The main core value or way to earn honor in this group is participation. If you
participate, volunteer or answer a question correctly, one earns a memory dollar to be used
later in the snack shack. Many of the teaching times in children’s church involve asking kids
questions about the Bible and their faith. This helps to reinforce what is taught on Wednesday
night, which is more intensive learning, and Sunday morning. The church hopes that by
participating in Children’s Church that our children will grow in their faith and continue to
mature in their understanding of who God is. An additional benefit, as we have seen with
Alyssa, is that the children will enjoy their time and gain friends that will carry each other in
their faith. We find that children who can find friends in ministry tend attend more frequently
and invite others to join in. There’ve been many times that a child will encourage a parent to
attend church because the child enjoys their time there and is growing in their faith.
Next, Alyssa attends Wednesday night Bible study for elementary age. The only
requirement for her to attend this group is to be in the elementary age group. The majority of
children that attend Wednesday night are core families. There are no restrictions for any
children to come, but that seems to be who is attracted to these Bible studies. Children, after
attending first, are encouraged to bring their Bibles. Each class normally has a couple worship
songs, games and then a short Bible study or story. The class lasts one hour. The church
provides Wednesday Night Bible study as a next step from Sunday morning. Wednesday is
slightly more intensive but still encourages group involvement. Memory money is still given out
but not as frequently. A memory verse is normally given to be recited the following week. The
church hopes that children in Wednesday night classes will grow to the next level in their faith.
These midweek classes serve as a faith “pick me up” in the middle of the week before Sunday
again. Currently the church does not lean on a particular curriculum or study for the classes.
The children’s director chooses what she feels is best for the class.
Sunday Morning Bible Study is the smallest of the Bible studies that Alyssa participates
outside of her home discipleship with her family. Typically in this class, there is 2 to 4 children
with a teacher. The only requirement for this class is to be in 3rd and 4th grade. They use
Pathway Press curriculum for this class that follows a yearly track. The teacher takes them
through a biblical truth and activity. This is the most intensive of all her church activities. This
class does require more focus of the students for the 45 minute class. The intensity and the
time the class is held may be why it is the smallest. This class doesn’t have the frills of games
and activities as others do. Alyssa does come home every week with a required activity sheet
of memory verses, some family activity and more. Each sheet is required to be signed by a
parent. There is no memory money offered in this class.
Additional events that children participate in: Vacation Bible School. This is a big
outreach event for West Minot’s children’s ministries. Currently West Minot houses one of the
largest daycares in the city with 200 children involved. This is a big outreach audience. During
the week of V.B.S. the church reaches and opens up classes to all in the daycare. So for that
week all the daycare attends bible classes at the parent’s permission. Community is invited to
attend also making the V.B.S. week to grow in attendance. Other events that are outreach
oriented and that do not have age or grade requirements are the “Fall Family Fun Night.” This is
our Halloween event to outreach to those that trick or treat. “Live Nativity.” Families volunteer
to dress up in the manger scene and we have a live petting zoo. Lastly, our Easter Musical
production. The whole family is involved if they so desire to give honor and glory to the life,
death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. There are some events that include the whole family in
our church but more needs to be done.
Currently West Minot Church is in a “Family Based Ministry” concept of age/grade
segregated classes. This pattern has worked for the church for many years. But as the years go
on, one does see less and less of parent involvement and parental focus. One response recently
has been to have mentor nights and every fifth Sunday the children’s church joins the adults in
the Sanctuary. This would seem to help bring the family to worship together but many of the
older children and teens sit in their own section. Not to say that seeing other adults in worship
and word doesn’t help elevate their faith. Alyssa does seem to enjoy her classes and
involvement. She is growing in her faith. She helps give back through serving in the kitchen,
around the church and in outreach events.
The last section of this paper is looking at a sociogram/diagram of the different events
and relationships in Alyssa’s life and how do they effect each other. Below you will find a
diagram of the many relationships and events that Alyssa participates in.
Starting with the home, Alyssa brings to the church a strong faith upbringing and experience.
Because of her parents, Alyssa is a preacher’s kid and knows church and faith. She is more
polite and acts accordingly because she knows her father and what consequences of a bad
report are. This doesn’t seem to hinder her in any way in reality it seems that she actually
thrives on it. Church is a second home to her and she is as comfortable there as she is at home.
She sees as much of her parents as she does at home. For her, Church life and home life are
interchangeable. The only difference is there tends to be more structured time at church and
school than at home. Home is where many times she can relax and be the free spirit that she is.
What Alyssa brings from school to home is what all students do of course, lots of
homework. She also brings friends/classmates. She is getting involved in the music and arts
program and she truly enjoys her time at school, especially the teachers. What she truly enjoys
from church and school is the interaction of those her same age. At home she’s with family and
our house is not in a neighborhood but on the church property, so she gets less chance to run
over to a friend’s house and play on a regular basis.
What Alyssa brings to home from church is lots of candy and memory verses. I believe
that for Alyssa home and church circles are very close, if not overlapping. This serves as a
benefit and negative for her. The benefit, I believe that she doesn’t see a dichotomy of her life
of faith and her personal life. The negative being that she is a preacher’s kid and is under a
microscope of those watching the Pastor’s kid. At the moment, that microscope is a type of
benefit; I pray that we can continue to keep it that way. Those that are watching are uplifting
and propelling her.
Alyssa is growing in many ways and still has much growing to do. I, as her father, look
forward to seeing the many things God is going to do in her life. My prayers have already been
answered by God, that she and her brother have a much better life than I ever did. I’m looking
forward to a bright future for her and her brother.
West Minot has a lot of improving to do to reach the city of Minot. There are a lot of
things the church is doing right- through teaching classes, events, outreaches, wonderful
worship and being an overall friendly church. Family focus should be the next step in the
evolution of this church. I believe that if West Minot can empower the parents to train up their
children, nothing could stop what God is doing. What a legacy this church is leaving. I’m so glad
to be part of it!