A community-generated festival creating conversations around death, dying and bereavement

May 11th-18th, 2019

TODMORDEN

THINGS LEFT UNSAID?Angry or sad, happy or mad, many of us have things left unsaid to those who’ve died. This is your chance to unburden your heart. There are two ways:

1. The Last Post Write to someone departed and send it to the post office (see address below) or drop it in to the PUD Post Box in Tod Library. All your letters will be kept safe and unread until Thursday 16th May (7-9pm) when they will be burnt at the Unitarian Church event. All Welcome.

Address them to our Post Office Manager (see photo above). The Last Post Pushing Up Daisies, Post Office, 7 Brook St, Todmorden, OL14 5AJ.

2. Across the Divide Archive Three years ago we began the world’s first ever “Across the Divide” archive of letters to the departed. These are available for viewing in Todmorden library. If you would like to send yours, signed or anonymous, and dedicate it to posterity, you can either email it to: pushingupdaisiestod@gmail.com or drop it in to PUD Postbox at Tod Library any time from now.

TOWN HALL HUB

The festival has a Hub in the Town Hall again this year at the following times:

Mon 13th, 12 - 6.00pmTues 14th, 12 - 6.00pmWed 15th, 12 - 6.00pm

Thurs 16th, 12 - 6.00pmFri 17th, 12 - 4.00pm

ALL EVENTS IN LIGHT BLUE BOXES WILL TAKE PLACE AT THE TOWN HALL.

In the Town Hall Hub space will be dedicated and information on hand for anyone who would like to start/progress/re-do/finalise their end of life planning. Worth having a gentle nosey even if you’re too scared to dive right in.

ADVANCE PLANNING TABLE

HUB DROP INDrop in for information, craft activities, tea and cakes, soup and bread. There will be Daisy People on hand (see page 3) as well as a huge range of talks, workshops, performance and discussion groups over the festival days.

THINGS TO SEE & DOCome & see the beautiful quilt, created during the festival last year. You could decorate a little bamboo memory boat, to be launched on the canal, or write a letter to someone who has died you may like to send a message to (see page 16). Or just drink tea & eat cake in the café space!

THROUGHOUT THE WEEK AT THE TOWN HALL

anaturalundertaking.co.uk

CRAFTY COFFIN CLUBCome and decorate our community coffin! Hang out, leave your mark & get crafty any time the Hub is open: paint, pens, glitter, sticky things, all there for the joy of it (see page 5).

Miriam Tahir

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Thank yous: Todmorden Town Council; Calderdale Council; IET; the Library Service (in particular Roberta and Sarah); the Golden Lion, the Unitarian Church, Todmorden Therapy, Platform One, Todmorden Community Resource Centre for their invaluable offer of rooms; Heather for all her help, Damion for all his support at the Town Hall Hub; Kava Café, Saker and Baked for the delicious bread and cakes, Site Pizzeria and Hilary for cooking up a storm, Funerals with Heart & Soul for donating the cardboard coffin and of course all the Event Facilitators who offer every session out of the kindness of their hearts; all Daisy People who offer their time so willingly; and the Mucker Inners for the chair stacking, bunting hanging and washing up, amongst so many other things!

DAISY PEOPLE

“Daisy People” are volunteers who are happy to have a conversation with anyone about death, dying or bereavement. They will be at festival events, the Town Hall Hub and about the town. Feel free to talk to them. You can recognise them by their Daisy Badge.

HEADS UP

TODMORDEN DEATH CAFÉ

Please note: we know death, dying or bereavement can be painful topics to explore. The views expressed in each workshop are those of the person running it, it’s possible you won’t agree with them. And it might not be the right time for you. Go safely, gently, look after yourselves. Remember you can always speak to a Daisy Person if something comes up for you and you would like to talk to someone.

PUD is delighted to support the Todmorden Death Cafe. Pop along, have a chat about whatever’s on your mind, grab a biccie and a cup of tea. They meet every second Wednesday of the month, 11-2.00pm at Tod Library.

2019 dates:

April 10th; May 15th (during PUD); June 12th; July 10th; August 14th; September 11th; October 9th; November 13th & December 11th.

A HAPPY LOSS

All hail Elizabeth Svanholmer who raised over £930 for PUD this year after parting company with her gorgeous locks (all 70cm & 700grams of them). She donated the hair to the Little Princess Trust and the proceeds to PUD. She loves her shaved head, but is looking forward to warmer weather! What an amazing act of kindness - thank you Elizabeth and everyone who supported her!

MARKET STALLOne thing in life is certain...we’re all going to die! Join us for conversations about death, dying and bereavement and find out more about plans you might like to make in advance about your own end of life.

Thursday 16th May, 10am-12pm, Tod Market outside stall.

After five annual Pushing Up Daisies (PUD) festivals & thousands of conversations about death, dying & bereavement, Hannah & Sue, this year’s volunteer organisers, will be bowing out from organising an annual festival from this year on. So, where does PUD go from here? The possibilities are endless. Community & kindness have always been the focus, so please come along to the post festival Open Meeting on the 1st June (Todmorden Library 10.30 – 12.30pm) & be part of the conversations for: “PUD What Next?”

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VENUES:CAR PARK

FREE CAR PARK

All venues are accessible with the exception of those

marked with a

A The Fielden Centre Ewood Lane, Todmorden, OL14 7DD

B Fielden Wharf Outside the Golden Lion

C Golden Lion (upstairs) Fielden Square, Todmorden, OL14 6LZ

D Kava Kafé 31 Rochdale Road, Todmorden, OL14 7LA

E The Old Co-Op (upstairs) 29 Rochdale Rd, Todmorden OL14 7LA

F Platform One Gallery Todmorden Station, Rise Lane, OL14 7AA

G St Mary’s Church Burnley Rd, Todmorden OL14 7BD

H Todmorden Community Resource Centre Old Bakery, Lever St, Todmorden, OL14 5QF

I Todmorden Library Rochdale Road, Todmorden, OL14 7LB

J Todmorden Outdoor Market Burnely Road, Todmorden, OL14 5AJ

K Todmorden Therapy White Rose Mill, Rise Lane, Todmorden OL147AD

L Todmorden Town Hall Bridge Street, Todmorden OL14 5AQ

M Todmorden Unitarian Church Honey Hole Road. Todmorden, OL14 6LE

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PROGRAMMESATURDAY 11TH MAY

USING PICTURE BOOKS AS A WAY IN WITH CHILDREN Laura Ovenden

TIME: 10-11am VENUE: Todmorden Library - Reading room IBOOK: No booking required

Picture books are a great way to make a space for talking with children about death and dying. I will read a few aloud & recommend others & we can discuss their potential.

TALK & DISCUSSION

DECORATE A COFFINRebecca Barnes & Katrina Leech

TIME: 12.30 – 2.30pmVENUE: Todmorden Library - Reading room I BOOK: No booking requiredINFO: Materials provided

Decorate a Coffin is an open event for children & families. We hope to help take away the fear of coffins by inviting people to decorate our cardboard coffin; providing a space where people can touch & feel a coffin, talk about them & even maybe try it out for size?!

DROP IN & CRAFT

ARTY FARTY STARTY PARTY Hannah Merriman & Friends

TIME: 2.30-6pmVENUE: The Fielden Centre A BOOK: No booking required

Come celebrate the festival beginning with fantastic family fun and games, our famous Dead Good Quiz, music from the amazing 3 Valleys Gospel Choir and Stephen Anderson. There will be improvisation from festival faves ThreadBear Theatre, plenty of Special Guests. Top nosh from Site Pizzeria, brews, cake and local beers served. Not to be missed!

OPENING BASH

ENABLING THEATRE (SESSION ONE) Susan Quick

TIME: 10.30 – 12.30pmVENUE: Todmorden Library - Meeting room IBOOK: No booking requiredINFO: This is the first of three sessions:

wear comfortable clothes

Using Augusto Boal’s Rainbow of Desire theatre, we’ll explore death, dying and bereavement in three linked sessions. If we’re ready, we’ll perform in the final session, inviting others to share stories. In his book The Aesthetics of the Oppressed, Boal describes training Enabling Theatre in Hebden Bridge.

WORKSHOP

All events are free - suggested

donation £3

WHAT WAS DADDY’S FAVOURITE ICE CREAM?The Nick Smith Foundation & MND Association

TIME: 11.15 – 12.15pmVENUE: Todmorden Library - Reading room I BOOK: No booking requiredINFO: Family Session

When someone dies, it’s hard remembering little things – questions only Daddy knew answers to. Join Rachel, whose husband died aged 38 leaving two young children, the Nick Smith Foundation & MND Association, to share ideas for a personal pre-bereavement resource for children & families. Help us create something really special – so they’ll always know it was vanilla.

WORKSHOP

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SUNDAY 12TH MAY

AN AWFULLY BIG ADVENTURE PART 2Peter Findlay, Alice Cullinane & friends

TIME: 12-2pm (Doors 11.45am)VENUE: The Old Co-Op (upstairs) EBOOK: No booking required INFO: Please bring blankets and comfy cushions.

“To die would be an awfully big adventure!” - Peter Pan. Join the storyteller and the artist for another all ages session of tales, art and music on the theme of death, dying and grief. Tears & laughter welcome.

STORYTELLING WORKSHOP

NON-VERBAL RITUAL IN MODERN FUNERALS Rosie Grant

TIME: 2-4pmVENUE: Todmorden Therapy KBOOK: No booking required

Words at a funeral are so important. So is what we do, but in a different kind of way. We’ll explore the role of modern rituals at a time of religious decline. Rosie is a progressive funeral director with sixteen years experience, and a psychotherapist. www.naturalendings.co.uk

WORKSHOP / DISCUSSION

WHAT IS IT THAT NEVER DIES? Harry Wheeler

TIME: 3-5pmVENUE: The Golden Lion (Upstairs) C BOOK: Via: h.wheeler@hotmail.co.uk

Mandi Solk, author and poet will be engaging with us about her after-death experiences through film, talk and discussion. The last hour will be open for Q&A discussion.

“We don’t need to suffer – we need to get CONSCIOUS. The true nature of death and dying is transitioning.”

TALK WITH Q&A / SHORT FILM

All events are free - suggested

donation £3

LIVING WITH SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS Amani Omejer & Elisabeth Svanholmer

TIME: 12-2pmVENUE: Todmorden Town Hall - side room L BOOK: No booking required

How we can support ourselves and others when life feels overwhelming? Amani and Elisabeth will share personal experiences of living with suicidal feelings, followed by a discussion about themes such as shame, finding support and talking with others about it.

TALK AND DISCUSSION

MONDAY 13TH MAY

TALK WITH Q&A

GREEN BURIALS – ARE THEY FOR ME?Hannah Nadim

TIME: 12-1pm VENUE: Todmorden Library - Meeting room I BOOK: No booking required

There is growing interest nationally in natural/green burial sites. This session will explore the thinking/ethos behind them, answer questions and look to establish the extent to which there is interest in establishing a natural/green burial site in Calderdale. (See page 19)

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WOMEN CARING – OUR STORIES BEGINJoanna Christina

TIME: 2.15-3.45pmVENUE: Todmorden Town Hall -side room L BOOK: No booking required INFO: Women carers only

A confidential peer support space giving room to our experiences of Caring. There will be time to share and name feelings observed or experienced while talking. We will close with a simple breathing exercise. Open to possibly becoming a regular group.

PEER SUPPORT

VOICES OF GRIEF Dr Chloe Greenwood & Amelie Lavan

TIME: 4-5.30pmVENUE: Todmorden Town Hall - side room L BOOK: No booking required

Voices of Grief – the courage to grieve in a death-avoiding culture. Award winning documentary sharing perspectives on the ways we navigate grief and companion others. With wisdom and personal stories it explores the roles of community, kindness and connection.

FILM & DISCUSSIONHONOURING THE UNBORN Hazel Osborne & Hannah Merriman

TIME: 12-3.30pmVENUE: The Fielden Centre A BOOK: Via: office.celebrate.life@gmail.comINFO: Women only. Age 16 plus. 14 places available

The loss of an unborn child, whether elective or not, leaves an imprint that is largely unspoken in our society. This supportive workshop will invite participants to explore themes creatively, using playful and reflective exercises. We will end with a blessing.

WORKSHOP

ENABLING THEATRE (SESSION TWO) Susan Quick

TIME: 2 – 4pmVENUE: Todmorden Library - Meeting room I BOOK: No booking required INFO: This is the second of three sessions:

wear comfortable clothes

Using Augusto Boal’s Rainbow of Desire theatre, we’ll explore death, dying and bereavement in three linked sessions. If we’re ready, we’ll perform in the final session, inviting others to share stories. In his book The Aesthetics of the Oppressed, Boal describes training Enabling Theatre in Hebden Bridge.

WORKSHOPTHE GREAT MOTHER Sally Dawson & Natalie Speake

TIME: 4.45-6.15pmVENUE: The Fielden Centre A BOOK: No booking required

Natalie and Sally share their joy, sadness and wonder - honouring their unborn. Laughter, tears and support for each other - making sense of loss and grief, through words and movement and love. Part of the ongoing process. Stay for a cuppa and a chat afterwards.

PERFORMANCE

PLAYBACK THEATRE Threadbear

TIME: 7-9pm (Doors open 6.30pm)VENUE: The Old Co-Op (Upstairs) E BOOK: No booking required

Long-standing PUD favourites ThreadBear will take us on the unpredictable and often hilarious journey of playback theatre. You, the audience, are invited to tell a story from your own life, then see it immediately ‘played back’ live. Welcoming, edgy, alive.

PERFORMANCE

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RESUSCITATION – IT’S NOT LIKE HOLBY CITYMandy Kazmierski

TIME: 12.30–1.30pmVENUE: Todmorden Community Resource Centre H BOOK: No booking requiredINFO: Age 18 plus

Come away from this session understanding what resuscitation is, facts and figures about its success and an opportunity to consider how a decision to be or not to be resuscitated might become part of your end of life planning.

TALK WITH Q&A

GETTING YOUR HOUSE IN ORDERMike Hall

TIME: 2-4pmVENUE: Todmorden Town Hall - side room L BOOK: Via: Deragtar@gmail.com

or 07970 690 565

A practical, no nonsense approach to the practicals of end of life planning from a man who knows. Mike will cover: Wills, Lasting Power of Attorney, Trusts, Advance Decisions to Refuse Treatment, Organ/body/tissue donation, Funeral planning. Time for Q&A.

TALK WITH Q&A

All events are free - suggested

donation £3

STAYING CONNECTEDMarilyn Edwards

TIME: 2-4pmVENUE: Todmorden Community Resource Centre H BOOK: Via: masewickenhill@btinternet.com

How can we stay connected with loved ones who have crossed the threshold of death? How thought, meditations, rhythms & imaginations can help both the dead & those who remain behind.

TALK WITH Q&A

TUESDAY 14TH MAY

GRAVEYARDS AND BURIAL PLACES IN TODMORDEN David Cant

TIME: 12.15 – 1.45 pmVENUE: Meet at east end of St Mary’s Church G BOOK: No booking requiredINFO: A tour suitable for all including wheelchair users

Many of the last resting places of our ancestors are no longer obvious. We will look at the ones around the centre of Todmorden and explore the different religious traditions. We will finish at the Town Hall Hub for refreshments.

GUIDED WALK

FAITH, FEAR AND PHILIP LARKINMartin Parrott

TIME: 12-1.30pm VENUE: Todmorden Town Hall - side room L BOOK: No booking required

Although I am a priest and have spent many years as a Hospital Chaplain, death is still a fearful and unwelcome prospect. How do others mitigate that fear? A conversation using Larkin’s poem Aubade to get us started. All welcome.

TALK & DISCUSSION

Photo credit: Andy Wade

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THE SOUL THAT KISSED THE BODYPeter Findlay with Geoff Brokate & Chris Thomas

TIME: 7.45-8.45pm (Doors open 7.15pm)VENUE: The Old Co-Op (Upstairs) E BOOK: No booking required

“And grace filled the room...” In his most personal show to date, Peter weaves traditional tales of death and dying with the story of his own father’s life and death. Featuring the heartfelt musical duo Geoff Brokate and Chris Thomas. Bring a photograph of someone you would like to remember.

PERFORMANCE

AGE CONCERN LIFE BOOKAlex Boyle

TIME: 4-5pmVENUE: Todmorden Town Hall - side room L BOOK: No booking required

There is so much admin & practicalities related to end of life. Learn how you can make things easier for family or others by completing a Life Book with necessary information about you and your household. Alex is the manager of Age Concern Todmorden.

TALK & DISCUSSION

WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN SOMEONE IS DYINGSue Robinson

TIME: 5.30 – 6.30pmVENUE: Todmorden Town Hall - side room L BOOK: Via: sue.robinson89@yahoo.co.uk INFO: Max. 15 people

If you’ve wondered what the process of dying looks like and would like more information, this session is aimed at you. Sue has been training to be an end of life doula and works with health professionals caring for dying people in their homes.

INFORMATION & DISCUSSION

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A WEEK OF WONDER

Using Picture Books As A Way In With Children Library - Reading room 10-11am

Enabling Theatre (session one) Library - Meeting room 10.30-12.30pm

What was Daddy’s favourite ice cream? LIbrary - Reading room 11.15-12.15pm

Decorate a Coffin LIbrary - Reading room 12.30-2.30pm

Arty Farty Starty Party Fielden Centre 2.30-6pm

An Awfully Big Adventure Part 2 The Old Co-Op (upstairs) 12-2pm

Non-Verbal Ritual in Modern Funerals Todmorden Therapy 2-4pm

What is it that never dies? Golden Lion (upstairs) 3-5pm

Green Burials – are they for me? Library - Meeting room 12-1pm

Living with suicidal thoughts and feelings Town Hall - Side room 12-2pm

Honouring the Unborn Fielden Centre 12-3.30pm

Enabling Theatre (session two) Library - Meeting room 2-4pm

Women Caring – our stories begin Town Hall - Side room 2.15-3.45pm

Voices of Grief Town Hall - Side room 4-5.30pm

The Great Mother Fielden Centre 4.45-6.15pm

Playback Theatre The Old Co-Op (upstairs) 7-9pm

Faith, Fear and Philip Larkin Town Hall - Side room 12-1.30pm

Graveyards and Burial Places in Todmorden St Mary’s Church 12.15-1.45pm

Resuscitation – It’s not like Holby City Todmorden Community Resource Centre 12.30-1.30pm

Getting your House in Order Town Hall - Side room 2-4pm

Staying Connected Todmorden Community Resource Centre 2-4pm

Age Concern Life Book Town Hall - Side room 4-5pm

What to expect when someone is dying Town Hall - Side room 5.30-6.30pm

The Soul that Kissed the Body The Old Co-Op (upstairs) 7.45-8.45pm

Todmorden Death Café, featuring The Crossing Library - Reading room 11-2pm

Dementia Awareness Town Hall - Side room 12-1pm

Cherry Blossoms Library - Meeting room 1-3.15pm

Living & Dying with Alzheimer’s Town Hall - Side room 1.30-2.30pm

Secret Singers Town Hall - Cafe space 2-3.30pm

Life (just) before Death Town Hall - Side room 2.30-4.30pm

“Return to the Land of Your Soul” - Devotional Chanting The Old Co-Op (upstairs) 3-4.30pm

A Good Goodbye: Funeral Ceremony Planning Town Hall - Cafe space 3.30-5pm

SAT 11th MAY

THU 16th MAY

SAT 18th MAY

FRI 17th MAY

MON 13th MAY

WED 15th MAY

TUE 14th MAY

SUN 12th MAY

EVENT LOCATION TIME

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THU 16th MAY

SAT 18th MAY

FRI 17th MAY

EVENT LOCATION TIMEGetting your House in Order Town Hall - Side room 6-8pm

Poetry, readings & music for celebration of a life Town Hall - Cafe space 6.30-8pm

Men’s Grief Group Todmorden Therapy 7-9pm

Coping with the Loss of a Pet Platform One Gallery 10-12pm

Conversations at a Market Stall Todmorden Outdoor Market 10- 12pm

Write Your Own Obituary Town Hall - Side room 12.30-2.30pm

Shrine making Todmorden Unitarian Church 1-3pm

How to Die: Simon’s Choice Library - Meeting room 1.30-4pm

Hebden Bridge Threshold Singers The Old Co-Op (upstairs) 2-4pm

Poems to Die For Town Hall - Side room 2-4pm

Compassionate Communities Town Hall - Cafe space 3-5pm

Hearing Voices & Bereavement Town Hall - Side room 6-8pm

The Fiery Farewell Todmorden Unitarian Church 7-9.30pm

Men affected by suicide Todmorden Therapy 7-9pm

Enabling Theatre (session three) Library - Meeting room 10.30-12.30pm

What have hospices ever done for us? Town Hall - Side room 11-12pm

Coping with Loss & Change Town Hall - Side room 12.30 – 2.30pm

The human cry (part 1) Non-verbal expression of grief Todmorden Therapy 12-2.30pm

Disquiet Library - Meeting room 1-1.30pm

Heart-led Ceremonies Library - Meeting room 2-3.30pm

What is a good death? - How the major faiths compare Kava Kafe 3-4pm

The human cry (part 2) The body communicates The Old Co-Op (upstairs) 3.30-6pm

“This is how I would die… as pieces of cloud dissolve in sunlight”

Todmorden Community Resource Centre 7-9pm

Flight/flower The Golden Lion (upstairs) 8-9pm

Busy Bugs - Stories, Songs & Craft The Old Co-Op (upstairs) 10.30-12pm

The Wisdom of the Willow Tree Todmorden Community Resource Centre 10.30-12.30pm

What Remains Library - Meeting room 11-12.30pm

What Remains - Peer support group Library - Meeting room 1-2pm

Waterside Wonders Fielden Wharf 2-4pm

Journey with Absent Friends Fielden Wharf 2-4pm

Green burials – are they for me? Library - Meeting room 2.30-3.45pm

All events are free - suggested

donation £3

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CHERRY BLOSSOMSJen Wilson & Calderdale Libraries

TIME: 1 – 3.15pm (doors open at 12.45pm)VENUE: Todmorden Library - Meeting room I BOOK: Free tickets from Todmorden Library

A quirky & poignant film about love & loss. A man travels to Japan to fulfill his wife’s dream on her death. German with English subtitles.

FILM

LIVING & DYING WITH ALZHEIMER’SShelagh Robinson

TIME: 1.30 – 2.30pmVENUE: Todmorden Town Hall - side room L BOOK: No booking required

Shelagh noticed she started to get lost driving familiar routes, found parking more difficult & struggled with her computer. What followed was a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s. She’s back to share how things have been since her festival visits in 2017 & 2018.

TALK WITH Q & A

SECRET SINGERSOlwyn Pearce

TIME: 2-3.30pmVENUE: Todmorden Town Hall - café space L BOOK: No booking required

Todmorden based Secret Singers will be performing once again at the Festival. Sit back with a cuppa and a piece of cake and enjoy a journey of peaceful and uplifting melodies. Several mini performances over the hour and a half.

PERFORMANCE

TODMORDEN DEATH CAFÉ, FEATURING THE CROSSINGLindsey Blenkhorn & Caroline Schofield with The Grief Series

TIME: 11-2pm (drop in anytime)VENUE: Todmorden Library - Reading room I BOOK: No booking required

Tod Death Café is a monthly event offering a space to chat about all aspects of death, dying, loss and grief in a friendly, community setting. Ellie Harrison will be in attendance with “The Crossing”, her beautiful collection of illustrated resources, designed to help you think about and plan a funeral celebration. Biscuits and hot drinks a plenty. Warm welcome assured.

SPACE TO CHAT

DEMENTIA AWARENESSNeil Taylor

TIME: 12 – 1pm VENUE: Todmorden Town Hall - side room L BOOK: No booking required

This awareness session is to help those who care for, come in to contact with or know people with dementia. The session will help you understand what dementia is like to live with & how you can assist. Neil offers this training as part of Dementia Friendly Todmorden.

TRAINING

WEDNESDAY 15TH MAY

Photo credit: Grief Series - The Crossing

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“RETURN TO THE LAND OF YOUR SOUL” - DEVOTIONAL CHANTINGRalph Nimmann

TIME: 3 – 4.30pmVENUE: The Old Co-Op (upstairs) E BOOK: No booking required INFO: Please bring a cushion if you prefer to sit on the

wooden floor

Experience the joy & power of chanting in a circle, accompanied by a drum on the theme of love, death & resurrection. Chanting resonates with the chakras, activates the energy flow & bliss, uplifts the mood, & balances the mind.

SINGING WORKSHOP

A GOOD GOODBYE: FUNERAL CEREMONY PLANNINGAlex Boyle

TIME: 3.30 – 5pmVENUE: Todmorden Town Hall - café space L BOOK: No booking required

Have you ever thought what you want a funeral ceremony to be like; joyful, sombre, religious? How do you reflect the life of an individual & include different people? Alex, manager of Age Concern Todmorden, has had experience of conducting funerals & can help you think about what you might want to say.

TALK WITH Q & A

LIFE (JUST) BEFORE DEATHJulia Grieve

TIME: 2.30 - 4.30pmVENUE: Todmorden Town Hall - side room L BOOK: Via: 07905 487 199 or Julia.grieve6714@

gmail.com. Max.12 people INFO: Please bring something you want to keep until

the day you die

Last year I facilitated “Life Before Death” where we remembered important transitions exploring childhood into adulthood. We discovered whether our priorities change. This year our discussion is about key priorities, important to our sense of self in our later years.

GROUP WORK

All events are free - suggested

donation £3

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COPING WITH THE LOSS OF A PETHannah Sandiford & Vicky Weedon

TIME: 10-12pmVENUE: Platform One Gallery F BOOK: Via: pushingupdaisiestod@gmail.com

Open discussion led by local vet and nurse with pet bereavement qualification. An informal chat about the practicalities of euthanasia and coping with the loss of a beloved pet. Open to questions, sharing experiences including our own.

DISCUSSION WITH Q&A

THURSDAY 16TH MAY

GETTING YOUR HOUSE IN ORDERMike Hall

TIME: 6-8pmVENUE: Todmorden Town Hall - side room L BOOK: Via: Deragtar@gmail.com

or 07970 690 565

A practical, no nonsense approach to the practicals of end of life planning from a man who knows. Mike will cover: Wills, Lasting Power of Attorney, Trusts, Advance Decisions to Refuse Treatment, Organ/body/tissue donation, Funeral planning.

TALK WITH Q & A

POETRY, READINGS & MUSIC FOR CELEBRATION OF A LIFEJenny Coleman

TIME: 6.30 – 8pmVENUE: Todmorden Town Hall - café space L BOOK: No booking required

A workshop to explore & share words & music which people have found helpful when thinking about loss & the celebration of the life of someone important to them. The event facilitators will bring ideas & suggestions, contributions from participants are welcomed & encouraged.

TALK WITH Q&A /

WORKSHOP

MEN’S GRIEF GROUPDaniel Weaver & Stephen Anderson

TIME: 7-9pmVENUE: Todmorden Therapy K BOOK: No booking required

Enquiries to todmordentherapy@gmail.comINFO: Men only

Men are thought not to be capable of communicating sensibly or sensitively. It turns out that this is not always the case. We invite you to talk about how death, dying and bereavement may have affected you. (MGG also meets monthly.)

DISCUSSION GROUP

All events are free - suggested

donation £3

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HOW TO DIE: SIMON’S CHOICE Jen Wilson (Member: Dignity in Dying)

TIME: 1.30 – 4.00pm (doors open at 1pm)VENUE: Todmorden Library - Meeting room I BOOK: Free tickets from Todmorden Library or contact: jen.

wilson1@me.comINFO: Due to the subject content this BBC film has a Cert

12 rating; therefore not suitable for anyone under this age

Diagnosed with an aggressive form of motor neurone disease & given two years to live, Simon decides to end his life at a Swiss clinic. All welcome whichever side of the fence you are on. Will be followed by a respectful & friendly discussion on the themes raised in the film.

FILM & DISCUSSION

HEBDEN BRIDGE THRESHOLD SINGERS Amelie Lavan

TIME: 2-4pmVENUE: The Old Co-Op (upstairs) E BOOK: No booking required

This singing group visits the bedside of the dying. We offer comfort and relaxation at this threshold. All are welcome to experience our gentle, harmonized singing, to listen or sing, as you feel moved. Please see: thresholdchoirs.org

PERFORMANCE

POEMS TO DIE FOR Elizabeth Pinkerton

TIME: 2-4pmVENUE: Todmorden Town Hall - side room L BOOK: No booking required

This event is to give people a friendly space to share poetry about death, dying and bereavement. Please bring poems or prose which is special to you. These can be poems written by other poets or by you.

READINGS/DISCUSSION

CONVERSATIONS AT A MARKET STALLAlex Boyle & Sue Robinson

TIME: 10-12pmVENUE: Todmorden Outdoor Market J INFO: Information to take away from: Age Concern, Dying

Matters & others

It’s amazing how many people have talked about future plans at the stall in Tod market, each of the last four festival years. Although, many of us are still going to live forever! Come along, take away information & if you’d like to, have a conversation about what future planning is possible.

DISCUSSION & INFORMATION

WRITE YOUR OWN OBITUARYTracy Drake

TIME: 12.30-2.30pmVENUE: Todmorden Town Hall - side room L BOOK: No booking requiredINFO: Age 18 plus

We’ll use creative license & look into that crystal ball to predict our own future & death. Think BIG, imagine possibilities. Recall inspiring dreams & thoughts you’ve had in the past.

WORKSHOP

SHRINE MAKINGJamima Latimer

TIME: 1-3pmVENUE: Todmorden Unitarian Church M INFO: Materials provided

Enjoy space to build your own personal shrine dedicated to the people you have lost. Together we will turn the whole church into a beautiful communal living shrine in preparation for the Fiery Farewell event later on in the day. Please bring personal objects - poems, words, photographs, mementoes (see page 16).

WORKSHOP

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THE FIERY FAREWELL Mobius Loop & Friends

TIME: 7-9.30pm (doors open at 6.30pm)VENUE: Todmorden Unitarian Church M BOOK: No booking required INFO: Disabled parking only

Join us for an evening of sensational song and seering ceremony. Iza Moon will start the evening, sharing her deeply soulful songs, guiding us to our inner sanctity. She will be followed by the breathtaking Mobius Loop, who will be sharing their latest album, Gemi, dedicated to their son. Expect your breath to be taken away.

The evening will end with the Burning of the Letters Ceremony. Ambiance, atmosphere and beauty provided by the wonderful Dimitri (FlameOz), Ghost Caribou (Thingumajig Theatre), Spacecadets’ Skull and members of the 3VGC.

Bar & snacks. tea & coffee. Dress warm & dive in.

COMPASSIONATE COMMUNITIES Professor Allan Kellehear, University of Bradford

TIME: 3 – 5pmVENUE: Todmorden Town Hall - café space L BOOK: No booking required

A Compassionate City Charter is a list of social actions small towns & cities commit to when supporting their residents with serious illness, caregiving & loss. Find out more about this, the cities currently participating in this global initiative & perhaps consider how Todmorden might get involved.

TALK & DISCUSSION

HEARING VOICES & BEREAVEMENTRufus May & Richard O’Hagan

TIME: 6pm -8pm (doors open: 5.45pm)VENUE: Todmorden Town Hall - side room L BOOK: No booking required

Hearing voices & having visions is common in bereavement. This is a chance to hear about & discuss ways to make sense of & respond to these experiences. Everyone is welcome.

TALK WITH Q&A’

MEN AFFECTED BY SUICIDEDaniel Weaver

TIME: 7-9pm VENUE: Todmorden Therapy K BOOK: No booking necessary

Enquiries to: todmordentherapy@gmail.com BOOK: Men Only

Loss can be devastating and disorganising, and loss through suicide is especially complicated. If you have been affected by someone’s suicide or an attempt, or if you yourself have had such thoughts, please join us for an open discussion.

PEER SUPPORT

CEREMONIAL BASH

Photo Credit: Spacecadets

Photo Credit: Ian Hodgson

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WORKSHOP & DISCUSSIONHEART-LED CEREMONIES Sue Goodwin & Paul Degnan

TIME: 2-3.30pm (doors open 1.45pm) VENUE: Todmorden Library - Meeting room I BOOK: No booking required

This workshop is for people interested in exploring alternative ways of creating meaningful funeral ceremonies that reflect the wishes of the dying & their loved ones. Led by celebrants, it includes the story of a green burial ceremony & group discussion.

All events are free - suggested

donation £3

ENABLING THEATRE (SESSION THREE)Susan Quick

TIME: 10.30 – 12.30pmVENUE: Todmorden Library - Meeting room I BOOK: No booking required INFO: This is the final session of three:

wear comfortable clothes

Using Augusto Boal’s Rainbow of Desire theatre, we’ll explore death, dying and bereavement in three linked sessions. If we’re ready, we’ll perform in this final session, inviting others to share stories. In his book The Aesthetics of the Oppressed, Boal describes training Enabling Theatre in Hebden Bridge.

PERFORMANCE WORKSHOP

THE HUMAN CRY (PART 1) NON-VERBAL EXPRESSION OF GRIEFDaniel Weaver

TIME: 12-2.30pmVENUE: Todmorden Therapy K BOOK: Booking encouraged at: todmordentherapy@gmail.com

What lies behind our words of grief? When words are not enough or not possible.... the body finds a way to communicate. Daniel is a psychotherapist, with a background in music and physical theatre. More info @ www.todmordentherapy.co.uk/faq/the-human-cry/

PRACTICAL EXERCISES & DISCUSSION

DISQUIETTerry Vergos

TIME: 1-1.30pm (Doors open 12.50pm)VENUE: Todmorden Library - Meeting room I BOOK: No booking required

Is there a connection between silence and death? Are we afraid of silence? Is there absolute silence? Disquiet is a sound performance which hopes to raise philosophical questions and explore perceptions about life and death.

PERFORMANCE

WHAT HAVE HOSPICES EVER DONE FOR US?Rachel Sheils

TIME: 11- 12pmVENUE: Todmorden Town Hall - side room L BOOK: No booking required

An opportunity to ask questions you have possibly been fearful to ask about what hospices do for us & consider when you might choose hospice care; Rachel, the medical director of one of our local hospices Overgate, is back again this year to share her experiences with us.

TALK WITH Q&A

COPING WITH LOSS & CHANGEDeborah Corbyn & volunteer

TIME: 12.30 – 2.30pmVENUE: Todmorden Town Hall - side room L BOOK: Call: 01706 810311 or 07388 990232 & ask

for Deborah

This workshop aims to help us think about different types of loss. To explore the feelings that loss brings up. To discuss loss, fear and choice at times of change. To explore the idea of choice at times of change.

WORKSHOP & DISCUSSION

FRIDAY 17TH MAY

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BUSY BUGS- STORIES, SONGS & CRAFT Alice Bester

TIME: 10:30am -12pm (Doors open 10.15am) VENUE: The Old Co-Op (upstairs) EBOOK: No booking requiredINFO: Suitable for children age 0- 8 & their grown-ups

An interactive story session with songs and mess-free craft activities, linking together two very different insect- themed stories. Children will be able to get crafty, including making their own bug stick puppet to take home.

WORKSHOP

THE WISDOM OF THE WILLOW TREE Fiona Merritt

TIME: 10:30 - 12:30pm (doors open 10.15am)VENUE: Todmorden Community Resource Centre HBOOK: No booking requiredINFO: Option to bring your own drawing materials

In the workshop I will teach about the ancient Ogham Teachings of the Willow Tree. We will reconnect with its healing wisdom & find our own personal message for how to flow with our sorrows.

WORKSHOP

THE HUMAN CRY (PART 2) THE BODY COMMUNICATESDaniel Weaver

TIME: 3.30-6pmVENUE: The Old Co-Op (upstairs) EBOOK: Booking encouraged at: todmordentherapy@gmail.com

Part 2, Somatics and feelings. An exploration of the felt senses using simple movements to explore how we hold and communicate emotions. More info at www.todmordentherapy.co.uk/faq/the-human-cry/

PRACTICAL EXERCISES & DISCUSSION

“THIS IS HOW I WOULD DIE… AS PIECES OF CLOUD DISSOLVE IN SUNLIGHT”Jilani Cordelia Prescott & Marilyn Edwards

TIME: 7-9pm VENUE: Todmorden Community Resource Centre HBOOK: Via: masewickenhill@btinternet.com

Max 15 people

An exploration of the soul’s journey through birth, into life, & beyond death using poetry, song, live music, Dances of Universal Peace, & teachings from different traditions including Sufi & Steiner. There will also be space for sharing conversations.

WORKSHOP

FLIGHT/FLOWEROrfeo 5

TIME: 8 -9pm (doors open 7.30pm)VENUE: The Golden Lion (Upstairs) CBOOK: No booking required

Death can be surrounded by grief & regret, but should we celebrate it too? Can we change our relationship with death by walking towards it consciously, by seeing it as a culmination of life, or an adventure? In a new performance, made especially for this PUD festival, Orfeo 5 explores this, in words, music & film.

PERFORMANCE

SATURDAY 18TH MAY

WHAT REMAINS Gillian Brooks & Helen Walmsley

TIME: 11-12.30pmVENUE: Todmorden Library - Meeting room IBOOK: Via: gillybrooks@talktalk.netINFO: Age 16 plus. Refreshments provided & an

opportunity for one-to-one conversations

We are showing the film What Remains for a second year at the festival; a personal account of events & feelings following the suicide of a loving husband & father. The purpose is to support conversations around suicide; it’s such a difficult theme to talk about, often leaving the bereaved feeling alone & with complicated grief.

FILM & DISCUSSION

WHAT IS A GOOD DEATH? - HOW THE MAJOR FAITHS COMPARE Deacon Bob Stoner

TIME: 3-4pmVENUE: Kava Kafé D BOOK: No booking required

What is a good death especially when considering our faith? Does Islam differ to Christianity? A facilitated discussion on how faith is entwined in death and dying.

DISCUSSION

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All events are free - suggested

donation £3

WATERSIDE WONDERS Mary Clear & Friends

TIME: 2-4pmVENUE: Fielden Wharf BBOOK: No booking requiredINFO: Family Friendly

Family friendly festival finale! Make & launch tiny memory boats for loved ones, be a Boffin in a Coffin, share food with the Buddhist monks, dance with Oakenhoof Cloggers, dress as Frida Kahlo, make a headdress, decorate a gingerdead man and so much more ... The sun will shine!

JOURNEY WITH ABSENT FRIENDSThe Grief Series TIME: 2-4pm VENUE: Fielden Wharf B

Join Ellie in her beautiful caravan installation teeming with artworks in every cupboard, nook and cranny. Come, explore and add your own memory to the audio archives and embroidered maps if you want to.

WHAT REMAINS Gillian Brooks & Helen Walmsley

TIME: 1-2pmVENUE: Todmorden Library - Meeting room IBOOK: Via: gillybrooks@talktalk.netINFO: Age 16 plus

Following the film What Remains & a tea break, people themselves bereaved by suicide are invited to meet & share conversations with others. Bereaved people are invited to listen to what can often be shared feelings & emotions without obligation to speak.

PEER SUPPORT

CLOSING BASH

GREEN BURIALS – ARE THEY FOR ME? Hannah Nadim

TIME: 2.30-3.45pm VENUE: Todmorden Library - Meeting room IBOOK: No booking required

There is growing interest nationally in natural/green burial sites. This session will explore the thinking/ethos behind them, answer questions and look to establish the extent to which there is interest in establishing a natural/green burial site in Calderdale (see page 6).

TALK WITH Q&A

Photo Credit: The Grief Series

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Pushing Up Daisies is organised by a growing group of Tod folk who find talking about and planning for end of life pretty scary, and losing people pretty painful. We’d like all this stuff

to be easier, kinder, more communal and not just in the hands of professionals.

This festival is about people learning stuff, making friends and building community.

In a compassionate community, provided that people are encouraged to do so, “everyone can have a useful role to play

in promoting health and well-being at the end of life irrespective of their usual social roles and occupations” *

Pushing Up Daisies is the initiative of three women who met training to become Death Doulas, also known as End of Life Companions (Mary Clear, Hannah Merriman and Sue Robinson).

To find out more about the training, go to: www.lwdw.training.uk and the doula role, go to: eol-doula.uk

* “Public Health Approaches to End of Life Care: A Toolkit” - Karapliagkou, A. & Kellehear, A. (2013)

pushingupdaisiestod@gmail.com facebook.com/pushingupdaisiestod

pushingupdaisies.org