Ahavas Yisraelאהבת ישראלאהבת ישראלIssue #48

Endorsed by Rabbi Moshe Mordechai Lowy, שליט״א

בס״ד

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Written by Rabbi Dovid Yosef Kidibinski

פרשת מטות/מסעי

תשע"ה / 5775

In this week's parsha, we read of the story of the Bnei Gad and Bnei Reuven. We are told of how these shevatim had a large amount of livestock and found land outside of Eretz Yisrael which would be suitable for their needs. Thus, they asked Moshe Rabbeinu for permission not to go into Eretz Yisrael with the other Yidden, but rather to remain in Chutz La'aretz and take care of their flocks. Moshe Rabbeinu reprimanded them, because he was concerned that their main intention was to avoid the battles that the Jewish people would have to face in Eretz Yisrael. However, the Bnei Gad and Bnei Reuven responded that this was not at all their intention. “We shall arm ourselves before the Bnei Yisrael until we bring them to the place (Eretz Yisrael), and our children will live in well-defended cities because of the inhabitants of the land. We shall not return to our homes until the Bnei Yisrael will have inherited, each man his inheritance, for we will not inherit with them across the Yarden and beyond, for our inheritance will have come to us on the east side of the Yarden.” (32:16-18).

Now, if one examines these pesukim, one will realize several interesting nuances in the language. They first say that they will arm themselves and join in battle. Then, they mention a side point, that their children will need to be heavily defended against the enemy, when all the men head out to Eretz Yisrael to battle, leaving the children vulnerable in Chutz La-Aretz, in the land that the Bnei Gad and Reuven chose for themselves. Then, they return to their promise to stay until the end of the battle, and finally, again mention the point they have stated before, that their inheritance remains on the other side of the Yarden, something which is seemingly unnecessary

to mention at this point.Rather, I believe that the point

that the Bnei Gad and Reuven were trying to make here, was that, unlike Moshe Rabbeinu's assumption that they were not willing to join in the war because they were afraid, in reality, they were willing to do anything, and risk anything, for their Jewish brothers. They stressed the concept that they are leaving their children vulnerable, and going out of their comfort zone to help the other Jews. They would feel more secure staying home and guarding the children, but they understood that for Klal Yisrael's safety, they were willing to take that risk. Secondly, they mentioned the fact that their inheritance remains outside Eretz Yisrael, to emphasize the fact that their action to help the Jews is entirely altruistic, that they are doing it without expecting anything in return, since the colonization of Eretz Yisrael would not help them personally in any way.

The Gemara tells us that this is the difference between a Jew and a non-Jew. There are plenty of wealthy non-Jews who are involved in important causes (or what they believe to be important causes) and give charity to various organizations, hospitals, and so on. What is the difference between the Jew's tzedaka and the non-Jew's charity? The word “charity” implies, a bonus, something extra that I didn't have to give, but I am giving it. In other words, I'm doing you a favor. You owe me. The word tzedaka, however, is from the expression tzedek, justice. Giving to a poor person is not “extra.” It is an intrinsic obligation on the Jew.

The Gemara says in Bava Basra 10b, that when the pasuk states (Mishlei 14:34) that “the chesed of the nations is sin,” this means to say, that when they give charity or are involved in other “good deeds,”

they are doing it for their own self-glorification. Even if they will not expect favors in return from the one they helped, they still do it for that self-righteous feeling that they get from their good deed. It remains a bonus and not a basic, ingrained feature. The majority of non-Jews, at least, view it that way.

When a Jew does a favor for another Jew, it should not be this way. We should not expect anything in return, only do it for the mitzvah itself. Even though we might feel good about ourselves for doing it, as is the same with every mitzvah we do, nevertheless the focus should always be on doing the mitzvah because it's right, because this is what we must do to be good Jews who love one another. In this way, we can continue to build up our love for each fellow Jew.

Gut Shabbos!

The Rambam states in Hilchos Avel 14: “It is a positive mitzvah d'rabbanan to visit the sick... it is included in the mitzvah of gemilus chassadim performed with one body, that has no prescribed measure. And even though it is m'd'rabbanan, it is also included in the mitzvah [d'oraisa] of v'ahavta l'reiacha kamocha, to love your fellow Jew as you love yourself. All the things you would want others to do for you, you should do them for your brothers who keep Torah and mitzvos.”

BIKUR CHOLIM CORNER

SELFISHNESS

Yehuda was looking out the window, when he saw his friend Yeruchom passing by, pushing a lawn mower.

Curious to know what was going on, he ran to the door and called out, “Yeruchom, what are you doing with that rusty old lawn mower?” Yeruchom explained that even though it was rusty, he had just sharpened the blades with a special machine that his father had, and it worked really well. He was going over to mow Mrs. Shapiro’s lawn and invited Yehuda to join him.

“How much will she pay us to do it?” he asked. Yehuda was blown away when Yeruchom told him that he wasn’t going to be making any money. Mrs. Shapiro needed help, so he was going to help her. “That’s nuts!” Yehuda told him. “You could make at least $15.” When Yeruchom insisted that he was doing it for the mitzvah and not for the money, Yehuda just shrugged and walked back into his house. He wasn’t going to spend an hour in the hot sun and not get paid. That just wasn’t going to happen. He had better things to do.

Yehuda ’s mother was really upset when she overheard this conversation. She knew that he often asked for something in return for helping around the house. It wasn’t uncommon for him to say things like: “Can I have some of the cookies you just made, if I take out the garbage? Or, “I’ll do it if you let me listen to your new CD”. She had often tried to discuss the fact that this was a selfish attitude, but his behaviour hadn’t really changed.

She knew that in order to get him to realize that this behaviour was wrong, she would need to do something really out of the ordinary. After talking it over with Mr. Weitz, they decided that the family would make a video on Ahavas Yisrael that they would give out with their shalach monos. Each of the children would write a short skit about one of the mitzvos of V’ahavata L’recha Kemocha and the members of the family would act it out. Yehuda would work on the mitzvah of doing something for others without getting any benefit in return.

During dinner that night, Mrs. Weitz presented the idea. Everyone loved it. Mr. Weitz gave each of the children a paper with the mitzvah that they would be doing. When Miriam asked if they could help each other, Mr. Weitz wholeheartedly agreed that that would be perfect, since it was exactly what Ahavas Yisrael was about.

A few days later, Yehuda came to his mother, looking

perplexed. “I tried really hard to think of something to do, but I couldn’t figure out anything that would be really good. I need your help”. So they sat down and for the next hour and brainstormed ideas. They discussed the fact that this mitzvah was really about not being selfish and overcoming the “What’s in it for me?” attitude.

“What a great idea. I’m going to use that for the title of my skit,” Yehuda exclaimed. Now that he knew what his mitzvah was about, he was ready to start working on the skit. He decided that he was going to do two skits. One showing someone being selfish, and the other using the same scene to show the person doing the mitzvah in the correct way. His oldest sister loved the idea and willing volunteered to be in his skit.

Skit # 1.

Yehuda: Hi. I’m home. (He throws down his books and walks into the kitchen. The table is not set for dinner. He walks into the living room and sees Yocheved on the couch, reading a book...)

Yehuda: How come you’re home? Where’s Ma?Yocheved: We got out early because our last period teacher

wasn’t in school. Mommy had an unexpected meeting at the office, so she won’t be home until after dinner. She arranged that the younger kids would all go home with their friends. Tatty will pick them up when he gets home.

Yehuda: Talking about dinner, what are we having? Yocheved: Mommy told me to make something for us, but

I’m not hungry, so you can just make something for yourself.Yehuda: What? Mommy told you to make dinner and you are

telling me to make it. Why aren’t you going to make anything?Yocheved: Because I’m not hungry, so I don’t feel like

making anything. You know how to make something to eat. Yehuda: That’s so selfish. You are only concerned about

what is in it for you. Yocheved: So what if I’m acting selfish. What’s so wrong

with that? Why can’t I do what I want, when I want to? And while you are at it, you can even make me something, and I’ll eat it later.

Yehuda: No way. If you aren’t going to help me, then I’m not going to help you.

Yocheved: But that’s nekoma.Yehuda: (He gives his sister a look and stomps into the

kitchen.)

Skit # 2

Yehuda: Hi. I’m home. (He hangs his bookbag in the closet and walks into the kitchen. The table is not set for

dinner. He walks into the living room and sees Yocheved on the couch reading a book.)

Yehuda: How come you’re home? Where’s Ma?

Yocheved: We got out early because our last period teacher wasn’t in school. Mommy had an unexpected meeting at the office, so she won’t be home until after dinner. She arranged that the younger kids would all go home with their friends.

Tatty will pick them up when he gets home. Yehuda: Talking about dinner, what are

we having? Yocheved: Mommy told me to make

something for us. I’m not really hungry but I’ll make something for you. What would you like?

Yehuda: I’m not sure. What’s in the fridge?They walk together into the kitchen and open the

refrigerator.Yehuda: (He takes out a pot and takes off the cover) Here’s

some of that meatballs and spaghetti that we had last night. But there doesn’t look like there’s enough for Mommy and Tatty when they get home.

Yocheved: I’m really not so hungry. I had a really big lunch, so I’ll make myself something else later. We can make a big salad and add some of that chicken roll that Mommy bought. That should be enough for everyone.

After viewing the completed video, the family was sitting in the living room discussing what they had done. Yehuda was the first to speak: “Working on the skit made me realize how selfish I have really been, and what a terrible world this would be if everyone acted that way. I wish I could go back to everyone that I know and apologize for how I have acted before. I know that’s impossible, but from now on, I’ll try to be much more careful.”

When Bnai Yisrael was about to cross the Yarden and go into Eretz Canaan, the tribes of Reuvan and Gad asked Moshe if they could stay on the other side of the Yarden. They would first build cities for their families and then help the rest of Bnai Yisrael in capturing Eretz Canaan. Even though they would not benefit from helping to capture the land, they would do so to help the other Yidden.

endorsed by rabbi moshe mordec

hai low

y ״איטשל

SELFISHNESS

Chesed Challenge

1If selfish is being concerned only about what you need, what do you think selfless

means?

2 What would the world be like if everyone would be selfish and have everything their

way?

Find a way to help someone that will not result in you getting a benefit from it. i.e. Letting someone

use your pencil when

he asks. Doing a chore

around the house without

being asked to do it.

Shabbos Connection

The Alter of Novaradok once heard that a certain individual was

coming to visit his town. He was in doubt whether it was appropriate for him to go to

the train station to greet and welcome the guest. Since it was the middle of the frigid winter, the Alter worried

that perhaps he would decide against going not for the right reasons, but because he was motivated by laziness and comfort. To remove this concern, he traveled to the

train station to greet his guest.

Shabbos Connection Table ShmoozeTable Shmooze

Chesed Challenge

#48PARSHAS MATTOS-MASEI

YisraelNetworkFor Kids

Ahavas

"THE MOTIVATION"

Story

What's

In It

For Me?

Story

Gadol StoryGadol Story

בס״ד

Answer: Selfless is thinking about what others needs even if it means that you will not get any benefit from what you are going to do.