“…But be transformed by the renewal of your mind… Romans 12:2

STRATEGIC PASTORAL COUNSELING

FORTHE SEXUALLY ADDICTED

‘FROM CHAINS TOCHANGE.’

WHAT IS SEXUAL ADDICTION?OVERVIEW:

• A PROGRESSIVE INITIMACY DISORDER:

• COMPULSIVE SEXUAL ACTS AND THOUGHTS.

• THE NATIONAL COUNCIL ON SEXUAL ADDICTION & COMPULSIVITY DEFINES IT:

• (1) “PERSISTENT/ESCALATING PATTERNS OF SEXUAL BEHAVIOR;”

• (2) “BEHAVIOR ACTED OUT DESPITE NEGATIVE CONSEUQENCES.”

SEXUALLY ADDICTED TRAITS

• SOME ADDICTS DO NOT…

• PROGRESS BEYOND COMPULSIVE MASTURABATION, PORNOGRAPHY,

• OR • PHONE/COMPUTER

SEX

• SOME ADDICTS ARE• INVOLVED

ILLEGALLY:

• 1. EXHIBITIONISM• 2. VOYEREURISM• 3. OBSENCE CALLS• 4. CHILD

MOLESTATION• 5. RAPE

STATISTICS….

• 55%-CONVICTED SEX OFFENDERS-CONSIDERED ADDICTS

• 71% OF CHILD MOLESTERS-CONSIDERED ADDICTS

• 42% OF PEOPLE SEEK 1ST SPIRITUAL HELP

Problem Areas:MaritalLegalFinancialPsychologicalSocialHealth

THE ADDICTION CYCLE

• FOUR STEPS:

• 1. PREOCCUPATION

• 2. RITUALIZATION

• 3. COMPULSIVE SEXUAL BEHAVIOR

• 4. DESPAIR (LACK OF HOPE/POWER)

SEXUAL ADDICTIONTHE CRITERION:

PROGRESSION

• ADDICTION PROGRESSES BY:

• 1. WIDELY PRACTICED SOCIAL BEHAVIORS.

• 2. SLIGHT ILLEGAL ACTIVITIES-• (VOYEREURISM, OBSENCE CALLS, ETC)

• 3. VIOLENT ACTIVITIES-• (RAPE, INCEST, CHILD MOLESTATION)

COUNSELING APPROACH

• BIBLICAL & EXPLICITLY CHRISTIAN

• SPIRITUALLY FOCUSED

• HOLISTIC

• STRATEGIC

• BRIEF & TIME LIMITED

THEENCOUNTER:Stage 1.

1. INITIAL MEETING

(Empathy, Respect, Authenticity)

2. JOINING & BOUNDARY SETTING

3. PASTORAL DIAGNOSIS

4. PRIMARY FOCUS

4.

STAGE #2- ENGAGEMENT.

• EXPLORING FEELINGS:• Shame• Guilt• Nervousness• Denial• Hopelessness• Fear• Loneliness• Feeling Unloved, etc.

ENGAGEMENT- Session 2.

EXPLORING THOUGHTS:• Insecurity

• Poor Self Worth

• Abuse

• Anger

• Violence

• Hurt• Dysfunctionalism

REINTERPRETATION

Security

Value

Wholeness

Joy Peace

Life

Healing

Owning Emotions

ENGAGEMENT- Session 3

BEHAVIORAL PLAN:

1. CONCRETE

2. SPECIFIC

3. REALISTIC

4. ATTAINABLE

KNOW THE BIBLICAL MANDATES:

• GENESIS 2: 21-25

• LEVITICUS 20: 7-24

• ROMANS 12: 1-3

• 1 PETER 1: 3-16

• HEBREWS 12: 14-15

PLAN A BIBLICAL RESPONSE

• 1. OBTAIN THE BIBLICAL PERSPECTIVE ABOUT THE SITUATION.

• 2. WRITE THE PERSPECTIVE DOWN.

• 3. MEMORIZE IT.

• 4. PRACTICE IT.

DISENGAGEMENT, STAGE 3

• I. EVALUATE PROGRESS /CONCERNS:• Review what was learned• Identify Anticipated Difficulties• Identify coping skills/mechanisms• Know Referral Sources

• II. DISCUSS RESOURCES/REFERRAL

• III. TERMINATE COUNSELING

REFERRAL SOURCES

• CULTIVATING PURITY (Insight for Living)• CARE LINE: (972)-473-5097

• PURE INTIMACY- 800 A-FAMILY (232-6459)

• EVERY MAN’S BATTLE• NEW LIFE MINISTRIES-800- 639-5433

• NATIONAL COUNCIL SEXUAL ADDICTION & COMPULSIVITY- 770-541-9912

BIBLIOGRAPHY

• Benner, David G. Strategic Pastoral Counseling. A Short Term Structural Model. Michigan: Baker Academic, 2003.

• Herkov, Michael, PHD. “What is Sexual Addiction.” Psych Central. http://psychcentral.com/lib/what-is-sexual-addiction (accessed December 17, 2013).

• A Biblical Perspective on Caring for People, Insight for Living Counseling Insights