Post on 02-Nov-2021
Inside The Parenting Lounge
Kristen Miller kristen@practicalmommy.com | www.practicalmommy.com
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Inside The Parenting Lounge
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Chapters
Introduction
1. Potty Training
2. How To Get Your Kids To Try New Foods
3. Let Go Of The Pacifier
4. Introducing Solid Foods
5. Tips For Transitioning From Diapers to Underwear
6. Tips To Transition To A Sippy Cup
7. Teach Your Child To Be Kind
8. Teach Your Child To Be A Good Friend
9. Handling Sibling Arguments and Fighting
10. What is the ONE THING that would make you a better Mom?
Resources
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Introduction
As a mom of little kids, there are so many things I have questions about:
how do I get them potty trained?
how do I feed them healthy food, that they can eat and not choke on?
how do I teach them to be kind?
Learn from other moms who have been there.
On PracticalMommy.com I strive to bring together information to make life easier
for moms. But some things I am still learning about myself!
So I reached out to other blogging moms to get their advice and stories. The result
is this collection of the top 10 parenting lounge posts which covers topics such as
potty training, transitioning to underwear and handling sibling arguments.
In total there are 17 posts in the Parenting Lounge series and I have included the
top 10 posts here. Be sure to check out the other 7 posts by going to
PracticalMommy.com and checking out the Parenting Lounge Series.
We're all in this together, so let's share what we have learned through trial and
error and cheer on the other moms as they follow us in this journey through
motherhood!
Thanks for reading!
Kristen
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Chapter 1 – Potty Training
If you have parenting questions, then you are in the right place! We will be
attacking a common parenting issue every week and getting real life advice, tips
and stories from other moms who have dealt with the very same thing.
Advice and Stories from Real Moms
The topic this week is Potty Training. Why is this post #1? Well, it is actually the
biggest hurdle we are dealing with in my household right now. My toddler turns 3
next month and it seems like she will never be potty trained. She shows a little
interest but fights us on it every day.
Time to check in with the other Mommy's on our team this week. Moms, how
have you dealt with potty training? Advice please!
Reward them with stickers
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When my twin girls were tots, we hung a large piece of poster board for each
child on their bedroom door. When each child successfully used the toilet, they
could pick out a sticker and put it up on the board. You would be surprised how
good an incentive one little sticker can be! - Lauren Kim, Mom Home Guide
Don't rush things
I think it all depends on the child. My first decided to do it on her own fairly easily.
My second, well, let's just say that she still needs some assistance. I would just say
to keep the training fun, praise them and when they are ready, it will all work out.
Don't rush things. - Michelle Lepak, Dandelion Patina
Try a no pants day
My 2 year old used to go to work with me at the daycare. She would see the
preschool kids going potty and always wanted to try. So one day she goes running
through the halls with no pants on trying to find the potty. This little experience
taught us that for her the less time in pants the better. She potty trained in a little
over a month. - Trista, Mama's Little Minions
Start young
My 14 month old currently uses the potty on a mostly regular basis. She pooped
in the tub twice so we got a potty seat to go on the toilet. She was freaked out the
first time she got on so we made sitting on it a routine. She just started to pee on
it. She started getting aware of peeing and she would do it on the potty. Now she
will give me the "potty" baby sign and I put her on every time so she makes the
association. She asks 5-8 times a day and stays dry in between. -
Stephanie, Managing a Home
3 day potty training method
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We used the 3 day potty training method with both of our daughters. The first
two days were incredibly tough with lots of clean ups, but by the time day three
hit, they were potty trained! One long exhausting weekend for each kid, but we
got it done! - Ginger, Gingerly Made
*more info on this method here.
Invest in awesome undies
Wait until your child tells you they're ready, it makes it so much easier. Also invest
in some awesome undies, no kiddo wants to wee on Thomas the Tank or Minnie
Mouse! - Em, Snowingindoors
Have a backup plan
Make sure you have more than 1 idea. What works for one won't always work for
the rest. I remember having to offer toys for my now 5 year old because nothing
else worked. My poor bank account hated me. - Rikki Kruger, OMG Mommy
Moments
Get a timer
We love the timer trick. For the first day, set a timer to go off every 30 min. As
your child has less accidents, you can increase the time until your child is making
it to the potty on his own. - Lady Lilith, Little Lady Plays
Potty Training camp anyone?
Don’t you wish there was a camp to send your kids when it came time to potty
train? Send the kids there and they come back peeing in the toilet, no accidents,
and they even wipe their own butt! Oh I wish! We just started the “adventure” of
pee in the potty and I'll give you ANYTHING you want. - Tahnee, Sincerely Rose
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They will figure it out!
Don't force it! They will train themselves when they are ready. Try and try and try
again, but don't let it stress you out. Your children will not go to Kindergarten in
diapers! They will figure it out. - Sammi Ricke, Grounded & Surrounded
Thank you Moms!
I just have to say, this is ALL great advice. I am definitely going to get a timer and
try to stress less.
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Chapter 2 - How To Get Your Kids To Try New Foods
Do you struggle trying to get your kids to try new foods? If they would only try
one bite, they would realize how delicious "insert healthy nutritious food item
here" is and you wouldn't have to make them mac and cheese again tonight. Keep
reading to learn how other moms handle this very situation.
Recently, I took the time to make a healthy, delicious and nutritious meal for my
toddler and baby. I was so proud of myself for having the time and making it
happen. I laid out the silverware, the plates and napkins and sat back with a smile.
My toddler looks at it (just looks!) and says she doesn't like it. Now, after almost 3
years, she has decided she doesn't like "sauce." I lied and said, it's not sauce on
that pasta, it's just pasta. She still wouldn't eat it.
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This is an almost daily struggle at my house, so I decided to ask some other moms
what the trick is. Because apparently I don't know it. Here's what they had to say.
Advice and Stories from Real Moms
Spoon feeding an alligator??
Getting my kids to eat EXACTLY what I cooked is like spoon feeding an alligator.
The amount of time I spend preparing the meal, cooking, cutting, tripping over my
toddler, and nursing standing up does not even compare to the amount of time I
spend coaxing my child to please eat the delicious meal I literally sweat in for you!
- Tahnee, Sincerely Rose
Try your plate
Don't put it on their plate! My two will try anything off my plate, but if I put it on
theirs then it gets ignored. - Em, snowingindoors
Try one bite
I always do the "you have to take 1 bite of everything on your plate" trick and
always had a new food with their favorite so they would take at least 1 bite of the
new food before getting more of their favorite. - Rikki Kruger, OMG Mommy
Moments
A favorite and a new food
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I used to work with a child who only ate 3 specific foods. She was 2 years old.
Rather then forcing her to eat, I placed the food she loved on the table and spoon
fed her another variety. For the most part, she loved the new food and slowly I
started showing her more and more variety until she was eating basically
everything. - Lady Lilith, Little Lady Plays
It takes time
When my children were born and young toddlers we had not started our journey
towards healthier living. They were accustomed to eating packaged foods. But
now that they are 5 and 6 I can happily say they have now grown accustomed to
eating whole foods instead of junk food. It took time, I am talking years, for these
new foods to become normal for them but it was so worth it! - Sammi
Ricke, Grounded & Surrounded
Sing a little song
While I have attempted many scenarios to encourage trying new foods, from
modeling good eating to using the airplane method, only one has worked. And
that thing is singing the little jingle "You gotta try new foods 'cause they might
taste go-ood! So good!" from Daniel Tiger. That little half dressed tiger can get my
kid to do anything. Except wear pants. - Kayla Aimee, Kayla Aimee
Start young
I think you have to start out young! My Korean mother-in-law babysat my kids for
me when they were babies and would give them all sorts of Korean foods - spicy
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kimchi, dried fish, etc. So, my kids have never been picky with food! - Lauren
Kim, Mom Home Guide
Be a role model
I think being a role model is most important. If they see you trying new things and
liking those foods, they will want to try it too. We have tried to make the food
into fun shapes or make a game out of eating a new food. Sometimes it works,
sometimes it doesn't. I think we just have to remember that we as adults don't
care for some textures, flavors, etc. So, again being a role model and eating
healthy foods will be your best bet for success. - Michelle Lepak, Dandelion Patina
There is no trick
If you figure it out, please let me know! Just the other night my daughter gagged
and gagged because we made her try something that she liked the night before. -
Ginger, Gingerly Made
Make up a story
I usually make up a story about a famous character my daughter likes to get her
to eat foods. The other night we made roast and right now she is really into
Monster High, so I told her that Clawdia loves roast and that she should try it that
way we can write Clawdia and tell her about it. She not only tried it but she ate
my entire portion! - Trista, Mamas Little Minions
Another resource
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I actually wrote a post on how we started my daughter off to like new foods,
called Your Baby Eats What?! She always tries everything because we gave her an
interesting palate from the beginning. - Stephanie, Managing a Home
Thank You Moms!
Good to know I'm not the only mom who can't get their kids to try new foods. I
am definitely going to try singing some Daniel Tiger. That's not the first time I
have heard that his songs really work. I have also heard good things about the
potty training and anger songs. Thank you Daniel Tiger!
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Chapter 3 – Let Go Of The Pacifier
It goes by many names - pacifier, pacie, binky. Some moms swear by it and some
hate it. It is blamed for lisps and dental problems when kids get older. But the big
question is - once you start using it, WHEN and HOW do you let go of the pacifier?
Both of my kids have used pacifiers and I am so glad we did. They helped my kids
sleep through the night and comforted them when they were fussy, sick or tired.
I'll never forget that panicked feeling of being out in public and having forgot the
pacifier at home.
With my older daughter, we "planned" to let go of the pacie after she turned a
year old. Our plan was to wean her slowly by only using it for naps and bedtime,
then only naps, then not at all.
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Did you notice the quotation marks on planned? Planning anything around kids is
usually not a great idea - nothing goes to plan. I'm to blame though - even though
we had a plan, I didn't stick to it.
My daughter didn't have a hard time letting go of the pacie, I did. Finally, "I" had
to go cold turkey and lose the pacifiers. The next few days were tough, but not as
tough as I thought they would be.
Advice and Stories from Real Moms
Only at bedtime
We started off by letting the kids use it only at bed time. If they sneak it during
the day, they are picked up and placed in their bed. Before you know it, not
wanting to spend the day in bed, they gave it up in the daytime and soon enough
at night as well. - Lady Lilith, Little Lady Plays
Another vote to start slowly
One of my daughters was extremely attached to her pacy. We had to very
gradually wean her from it. It started with only using pacies at sleeping times and
then we slowly went from there. - Ginger, Gingerly Made
Let it go! Let it go!
We are trying to “give up the binky”. Thanks to the beloved movie Frozen my
child now knows how to say, “Let it go!” Loud and clear she will scream it. We
tried hot potato once with the binky as a distraction to get it out of sight. She
might as well have been standing on tacks she was screaming let it go as if she
were Elsa herself. Now we sing “let it go, let it go, the binky has got to go!” Binky
goes to “its bed and gets tucked in” and she goes to hers. - Tahnee, Sincerely Rose
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Some kids just don't like them
We started my kids off with pacifiers (from the hospital), but for some reason,
they never took to them, so we never had that problem! - Lauren Kim, Mom
Home Guide
Let your kid call the shots
The day my youngest daughter turned 1, my husband and I were already planning
on how to wean her off the nuk. That night, she walked to the garbage can in the
kitchen and just threw it away! Apparently she had to call the shots! - Rikki
Kruger, OMG Mommy Moments
Cold turkey
This was a tough one for my oldest daughter. We are an adoptive family and
when we traveled to Ethiopia, the nannies would not have it. They refused to
allow us to use a pacifier. Our daughter did well with it, but it was tough to start
the routine to sooth her with it when we were scolded. Eventually once she was
home then she used it off and on. She loved her bottle way more. Our second
child loved her pacifier. Eventually we just said it disappeared and introduced the
sippy cup instead. - Michelle Lepak, Dandelion Patina
Start early - really early
Never use one. - Stephanie, Managing a Home
Thank You Moms!
I think I'll try singing a little Frozen and losing all the pacies pretty soon.
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Chapter 4 – Introducing Solid Foods
Introducing solid foods is like a rite of passage for baby and mommy. It means
your sweet infant is growing up and needs to start getting their nutrition from
drinking only milk (breastmilk, formula, or a combination of both) to solid foods. It
can be a confusing and scary time for everyone. Here are some tips from moms
who have been there, done that.
Starting my daughters on solid foods was one of the scariest parts of motherhood
for me so far. I was constantly afraid they would either have an allergic reaction
or choke.
Those first few months when they are trying everything new are thankfully behind
me, but my 14 month old still only has two tiny little bottom front teeth. It seems
my kids get their teeth late, since both my girls had absolutely no teeth on their
first birthday. So I still have to be vigilant about cutting things up small and
making she it is soft enough for the baby to eat.
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Advice and Stories from Real Moms
Start with Cheerios
We used the typical cheerios and little cracker snacks. Noodles with sauce was
very popular with my girls when they were young. - Michelle Lepak, Dandelion
Patina
Start with greens
Start with the greens! I made the mistake with my first in giving her sweets like
apples and pears first. It was a tough job getting that girl to eat any of her veggies,
especially anything green. – Brittany, Pennies Into Pearls
Feed them what you are eating
My kids never ate baby food, I would just feed them whatever I was having.
Mostly I just gave them tiny little bites and hold them on my lap so that I can
watch them. By feeding them what I was eating helped introduce them to a wide
variety of foods. – Trista, Mamas Little Minions
Another vote for feed them what you are eating
My 9 month old was having the hardest time adjusting to eating baby food. Then
one day I was sitting on the floor eating ravioli and the little stinker crawls over
and sticks his fingers into my bowl and starts eating the sauce! so we tried
grinding up what we were eating for meals and now no more problems. He eats
everything like a pro now. – Rikki, OMG Mommy Momments
Start with real foods
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Don't start on baby cereal. It is bland and has very little if any nutritional value.
Start with real foods like avocado and banana. This way, they will learn to like
flavors from the start. – Stephanie, Managing a Home
Follow your kid's lead
We had one kid who loved jarred baby food and another who refused to let us
feed her anything. She wanted solid food, not pureed and she had to do it herself.
– Ginger, Gingerly Made
Teach them how to chew
For solid foods, I find it is best to place the food directly on the molar teeth. As
this is the natural way to chew, the child is feeling the input from the food. As the
child learns to chew, they will take initiative and within a few feedings, be eating
the food like a grownup. - Lady Lilith, Little Lady Plays
There is no right way
I have no right way for this. It is all different for each child. I try to "go green" first
and fruits second. This way they get used to eating what we eat. – Tahnee,
Sincerely Rose
Thank you Moms!
As with much of parenting, there is no right way to do anything. We have to learn
as we go and every child learns and reacts differently.
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Chapter 5 - Tips For Transitioning From Diapers to Underwear
One of the rites of passage for toddlers is transitioning from diapers to
underwear. It is a deal for kids who want to be "big kids." Also, there are some
things like preschool and gymnastics programs that will only allow potty trained
kids. So, once a toddler is in underwear full time, a lot of opportunities open up
for them. (Plus, no more diapers for mom!)
For my preschooler, we moved her up to Pull Ups when she started showing
interest in using the potty. Unfortunately, she was "interested" long before she
was ready to start using the potty.
I think each kids is ready at their own pace, so don't get discouraged by their age,
or their playmates. Listen and watch your child to see what cues they are giving
you. And then just go with it.
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My preschooler is now in underwear 100% of the time during the day and we are
about to take away the night time pull ups. We probably waited longer on those
just because the clean up would be difficult if she had an accident.
Here is what other moms have to say about transitioning from diapers to
underwear.
Advice and Stories from Real Moms
Give them a reward
Reward tots for using the potty. For my twins, my husband and I had a big sheet
of poster board with a line down the middle. (We have twins.) Whenever one of
our girls used the potty, she was allowed to choose a sticker to put on her side of
the board. The stickers were great motivators, and my tots loved them! They
filled up that poster board! – Lauren, Mom Home Guide
Wait until they are ready
My tip is to wait until your child is truly ready. The first time we tried it, our son
thought underwear served the same purpose as diapers, so he made quite a mess
for days. We tried again several months later and were more successful. –
Donella, Glue Sticks and Gumdrops
Never go back
Once you go undies, you never go back. Repeat this mantra. Stick to it. This is one
time it's okay to lie to your child and tell them the store won't let you buy
anymore diapers. Then stay strong and be prepared for lots of messes! It's worth
it.- Valerie, Occasionally Crafty
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Let them choose their own undies
We brought Ethan to the shop and let him choose his own undies with his
favourite characters on them. Then after a few days of pull ups we just made the
change! – Stephanie, Play Learn Every Day
Thank you Moms!
This is just another example of choosing what is best for you and your family. This
can be a hard time, as all transitions are. Stay strong, it will happen.
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Chapter 6 - Tips to Transition to a Sippy Cup
It seems the hardest parts of parenting may be the transitions. Every time you
think you've got something down - it's time to move on to something new. Just
around the time when you're getting used to giving your baby a bottle or you're
getting the hang of breastfeeding, it's time to start introducing a sippy cup.
When my youngest turned one, her daycare provider started asking us why she
was still using bottles and not sippy cups. Why? Because she didn't like sippy cups.
She wanted to drink her milk from a bottle.
I tried not to stress but I knew we were "behind" in making her take a sippy cup.
She is the second baby, so there is a lot going on at our house and honestly, a
sippy cup really wasn't at the top of my list. Keeping two little kids happy, clean
and quiet was my top priority - so that meant continuing to give Maddy a bottle.
The truth is that there is no time table for this stuff to happen. Go at your baby's
speed and watch her cues. I worried about my daughter not using a sippy cup for
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a few months, but in the end she started using one exclusively when she wanted.
One day it was bottles, the next it was sippy cups.
Here is what other moms have to say about introducing pets to new babies.
Advice and Stories from Real Moms
Get the right cups for your baby's age
Transitioning from bottle to sip cup can be something fun and exciting for your
little one. I love introducing new things as the baby gets older. When introducing
a sippy cup we like to start with just water and let our little one play around with
it. It's going to be a bit messy but it's only water! Make sure to look on the
package label to get the age appropriate sippys for your babies age. – Brittany,
Pennies Into Pearls
Use something easy to drink from
We used the tupperwear kids cups with the lids. It is not spill proof, but really
easy for the kids to drink from. My kids all started with water at around 6 months,
so when they were no longer nursing or using a bottle, they were already familiar
with how to use a cup. – Amanda, The Educator's Spin On It
Don't give in to drinking strikes
After my first daughter, I learned that the best method of transitioning from a
bottle to a sippy cup is to just do it! Your child will look at you with those big
beautiful eyes and she or he will cry and scream and do their very best to drive
you insane. They also may go on a drinking strike but I promise, they will give in!
Biggest lesson with transitioning is to not let them see you sweat! – Aimee, House
of Fauci's
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Earlier is better
After seeing both my girls through many early childhood transitions, as well as
observing my friends’ experiences, the earlier you introduce a sippy cup, the
easier your transition will be. The older a baby gets, the more attached they
become to objects. Instead of merely a feeding method, a bottle can become a
soother, just like a pacifier or blanket, making the transition far more difficult. –
Meghan, Playground Park Bench
Start with solids
Start young! We did so when my baby was starting solids and drinking water. –
Menucha, Moms and Crafters
Thank you Moms!
This is just another example of choosing what is best for you and your family. The
key is to realize that this is a transition. It's not an overnight change. So take your
time and go slow and don't stress about a sippy cup.
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Chapter 7 - Teach Your Child To Be Kind
Do you struggle with how to teach your child to be kind? It's not quite the same as
teaching them good manners, although it's similar. This isn't about "Thank You"
and "Excuse Me." This is something more intangible - how do you teach your child
to be kind when there is no solid word, or phrase or pattern to give them.
How do you teach your child to be kind?
Being kind is not just a one time act for anyone and it's not always the same thing
in different situations. Teaching your child to be kind means that you have to
teach them:
Empathy and Compassion
Right and Wrong
Fairness
Decision making skills
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All of these factors come to play when your child acts either kindly or unkindly.
Along with all these skills, modeling good behavior is a number one parenting
goal. By modeling kindness, your child can begin to see it in action and learn how
to be kind themselves.
Here is what other moms have to say about teaching their children to be kind.
Advice and Stories from Real Moms
Teach by example
I think you have to teach by example. I am kind to my children, and in return, they
have become very kind young ladies! – Lauren, Mom Home Guide
Model good behavior
We work on this through modeling kind behavior, providing social interaction
with other children and by reading books that promote kindness. A grumpy
toddler can still be unkind, though. - Donella, Glue Sticks and Gumdrops
They will mimic you
Your kids mimic you. If you're kind, they'll see that. – Albion, AlbionGould.com
They learn by example
Children learn by example. When "you" come out of your child's mouth, you'll
realize how important your example is. Be kind, tell them to be kind, show them
what kindness is. – Valerie, Occasionally Crafty
Lead by example
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I think that the most important thing is to lead by example, by being kind to them
as well as people that you encounter through the day. – Nikki, Play Learn Every
Day
Thank you Moms!
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Chapter 8 - Teach Your Child To Be A Good Friend
Childhood is about making connections and learning. Children learn through play
and it's important that they have other children in their life to play with. Whether
it's siblings, school friends, neighbors or cousins, it's important to teach our
children how to be a good friend.
The first step to having good friends is learning how to be a good friend.
How do you teach your child to be a good friend?
My older daughter is the opposite of shy. She will run up to any new child she
meets and they are instantly her new best friend. Although my younger daughter
is only one, I can already tell she will be the shy sister.
Since my older daughter jumps into being best buddies with other kids so quickly,
I need to teach her the subtleties of how to be a good friend. How to empathize
with other children and imagine how they are thinking and feeling.
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Advice and Stories from Real Moms
Take something to share with friends
We've been teaching our three-year-old about sharing with friends. Recently, we
have started taking small "gifts" such as a sticker pack or bouncy balls when we're
out with friends so that our son can share them with their kids. It has helped a lot,
because as an only child, he really doesn't have to share much. - Donella, Glue
Sticks and Gumdrops
Tell them when they are being a good friend
I try to point out when they are being a good friend or when someone else is
being a good friend. – Brittany, Pennies Into Pearls
Teach them that some "friends" aren't really friends
My oldest daughter has had issues with friends in the past. Friends who have
treated her family with disrespect, friends who have tried to steal her boyfriends
and so much more. I always tell her that friends come and go, but the ones who
respect you and want to truly be your friends are the ones who treat you the way
they want to be treated and that she should always do the same thing. Respect
and trust are earned and she shouldn't give them away before their earned. -
Vina Kent, The Full Time Schoolhouse
Find someone with a good heart
To be a good friend they need to choose their friends wisely. They will only want
to be a good friend to someone they genuinely care about. It's not about
popularity or who has the nicest stuff. If they find someone who has a good heart,
being a good friend will come easy. It's all about being there and never going back
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on their word. Good friends are hard to come by...so I want them to know to hold
that close! – Dana, Momma Didn't Say
Ask them lots of questions
This is such a difficult thing to teach because we want our children to learn how to
function within their peer groups without us hovering, but we also want to teach
them this important life skill. We are in the depths of teaching this right now with
our 6 year old daughter. Believe it or not there is girl drama as early as 1st grade!
We stress that to have friends she must first be a good friend to others by
showing kindness and not excluding others. I try to ask LOTS and LOTS of
questions like, “How did that make you feel when she did/said that?” “How do
you think that made her feel?” “What can you say/do next time that situation
happens?” I believe by doing this it has validated my daughter’s feelings and
taught her the words for what she and others in the situation are feeling. - Sammi
Ricke, Grounded & Surrounded
Teach them by sharing your own friendships
I share with them sweet or helpful things friends have done for me and let them
know how it really makes me appreciate my friend's friendship. – Lauren, Mom
Home Guide
Give them time to play
We teach them to be friends by giving them time to play. They always seem to be
better together when mom is not hovering around making sure "this or that" does
not happen.- Tahnee, Sincerely Rose
Encourage them to go play with new friends
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I encourage my children to look around them and be aware of how others are
feeling. If they see someone who is playing by themselves, I encourage them to go
over and ask that person to play. Kids are inherently self-centered, but with the
right coaching they can become aware of how their actions impact others. - Sarah
Koontz, SarahKoontz.com
Role play with them about their friends feelings
By role playing. My kids are still young so it's up to me to teach them how to
behave. I remind them to think about their friends feelings. – Tasia, Batavia's Best
Bargains
Instruct in the moment
I've had a few conversations with my 3 year old. Mostly, I instruct him in the
moment, sort of like feeding him lines off stage. I think he is beginning to
understand. He's walked up to a few of his friends at school, unprompted, and
offered comfort when they are crying or invited them to play. – Marie Osborne,
MarieOsborne.com
Thank you Moms!
Friendship is so important for young children to learn and grow, but also as older
children and adults interacting in society. The key is to be mindful and aware of
our children's relationships and actively teach them how to express themselves
around others.
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Chapter 9 - Handling Sibling Arguments and Fighting
Sibling arguments and fighting is something every mom has to deal with because
it's a fact of life that siblings will fight. Kids in general are learning manners and
how to interact with other people daily and fighting is their way of expressing
themselves and their feelings. But we as parents need to direct their learning so
they don't harm others.
I remember when I was little, my sister and I use to fight so much! But now we
are really close to each other. I hope that my daughters have the same experience
(maybe with a little less fighting of course).
How do you handle your kids arguing and fighting?
My toddler and baby have recently started arguing and fighting. It happens mostly
when my older daughter takes a toy away from her baby sister. I can understand
how everything used to belong to my older daughter, but this is one of the best
times for me to teach her how to share.
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Whenever my toddler takes a toy from her sister, I tell her to give it back or give
her sister another toy. Usually the baby is satisfied if it's a good toy, so everyone is
happy. I love seeing them start to practice this sharing on their own, when my
toddler hands the baby a new toy and the baby hands her toy to her older sister.
Advice and Stories from Real Moms
Calm them down first
First thing we do is calm down. Sometimes they will need to be separated for a
few minutes. Once everyone is calm then we get everyone back together, talk
about what happened, then talk about why it's important to be nice to each other
and love each other. – Brittany, Pennies Into Pearls
Separate them
This is hard, the two that fight are 10 years old and 3 years old and you would
think they would kill each other when they fight. Normally I separate them both
and tell them about why they shouldn't be fighting. Then they have to give hugs
and say sorry. – Trista, Mamas Little Minions
Listen to them
I always try to listen to my children as their voices rise in frustration. Then I sit
them down and talk with each one individually to try to figure out what is
happening. Giving them each a chance to talk about it generally helps me to
decide what discipline is appropriate (if any). - Sarah Koontz, SarahKoontz.com
Ignore them
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I usually ignore them. As long as no one is missing a body part and no one is on
fire, they can argue until they are blue in the face. Choosing my battles? I choose
to ignore! – Dana, Momma Didn't Say
Laugh
I have identical toddler twins. Right now, sibling arguments consist of hair pulling
and screaming at or chasing each other when someone steals a toy. I'm super
mature so, you know, I mostly just laugh. Then separate and redirect them. But
still I'm still laughing. – Marie Osborne, MarieOsborne.com
Never take sides
I never take sides. I just tell them I love them and not to fight. Distracting them
from the argument also helps. I find that if I switch on the TV to a show or movie
they like, they will forget all about their argument. But luckily, my kids don't argue
much. – Lauren, Mom Home Guide
Make them share
Recently we have had the constant saying, "If you both can't share, then no one
gets it." This is not working. We have found that holding the item in front of them,
asking who had it first, and then saying, "Can you ask your sibling to have it next?"
This has been a life savor! – Tahnee, Sincerely Rose
Ask them how they feel
First, I get their attention and ask them to be quiet. I then get down on their level
so I am not preaching "at" them but rather talking "with" them. I ask them to
each explain what happened and how it made them feel. Usually, if I can get them
to address how the situation made them feel we can resolve the issue quickly by
apologizing and correcting the behavior whatever it may be; bossiness, taking
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without asking, etc! Of course, 100% of our situations are not resolved this easily,
but most of the time! This is the real world after all! Ha! - Sammi Ricke, Grounded
& Surrounded
Thank you Moms!
Just remember, one fight won't destroy their sibling bond. Family is forever and
they will learn to get along as they get older. Find what works for your family.
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Chapter 10 - What is the ONE THING that would make you a better
Mom?
Whatever stage of life we are in, and whatever stage of childhood our kids are in,
I think most of us spend our days knowing we could have been a better mom.
That sounds a little depressing at first. That doesn't mean you're a bad mom or
that you've done anything wrong. It just means that we feel that we could have
done things better. This is actually a very positive feeling.
Did you let your kids watch too much TV? Did you give them a cookie when they
begged instead of giving them a healthier snack? Did you check Facebook one too
many times when you should have been playing peek a boo?
What is the ONE THING that would make you a better Mom?
For me, it would be patience. I would give myself more patience to deal with my
little ones on a daily (hourly) basis. I would try to keep my cool when my toddler
runs off and doesn't listen to me to come back. I would be calmer and more
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understanding when my baby has trouble sleeping through the night because she
is teething. If I had more patience, I think I would be a better mom.
If you could change one thing, what would it be?
Advice and Stories from Real Moms
More quality time
Not being so busy! I always find myself at the end of the day saying that I should
have spent more quality time with my kids. Playing games, make believe, playing
in the kitchen together, or playing outside. – Brittany, Pennies Into Pearls
Just be present
I have to constantly remind myself not to multi-task. I need to put down the
phone, put the to-do list aside and just be present with my son. It's so hard
sometimes, because we want to do things for our families, but sometimes they
just need us to be WITH them rather than doing things for them. – Donella, Glue
Sticks and Gumdrops
Patience
As a mom I really have a problem with patience. I need more of it. – Trista,
Mamas Little Minions
More patience
For me the biggest thing is having patience. When my son insists on picking his
nose and wiping it on his sleeve, I'm the first one to say, "go get a tissue and do
that in private." His response, "why mom they're natural just like farts." So I have
got to learn to just laugh and realize that with a little patience he will understand
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that one day, hiding the picking of his nose will have to happen, especially if he
wants a girlfriend. - Vina Kent, The Full Time Schoolhouse
Less is more
To stop being an overachiever. Each day I want to embrace the less is more
motto. By changing my perspective I can see the beauty in all things, especially my
children. – Tasia, Batavia's Best Bargains
Stop working too much
Hello, my name is Marina and I am a workaholic. Even though I work from home, I
believe that I am spending too much hours working. I've always been workaholic
and just can't live without work. I even get nervous when I finish the project and
there is nothing for me to do at the moment. I am always thinking of new ideas
and just can't relax and just enjoy the life. I think I would be much better mother
if I can just learn how to let go of work and enjoy some nice activities with my
toddler without thinking what will I do next with my work project. – Marina,
Parental Journey
More time
The ONE THING that would make make me a better mother would be more time.
Sometimes all I need to be a better mom is a little bit of time to decompress and
then get right back to it. But it seems as though there is never enough time to get
anything done, let alone time for me. So that would be amazing! – Dana, Momma
Didn't Say
Don't compare yourself to other moms
Stop comparing myself to the younger Moms. And, realize that my son doesn't
care if his mommy is older than the other Mommies, has gray hair and wrinkly
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skin. As long as he knows I love him more than anything in the World!! – Kim, This
Ole Mom
Sleep
I struggle form insomnia since baby #2 and feel I have neglected my "parental
duties", such as cleaning. The one thing I remember is to give my kids the
attention they need despite being sleep deprived. With love and patience. I don't
want them to remember how tired mom was, but the fun we had together. –
Tahnee, Sincerely Rose
More sleep!
More sleep! Being a mom is challenging enough! Trying to do it in "zombie" mode
is nearly impossible. - Sarah Koontz, SarahKoontz.com
More Me time
Dear Children, I would be an awesome mom if you took longer naps. Because
then I could nap and binge watch Netflix and read for a while and feel like a real
person before you woke up to remind me you are the boss of me. - Marie
Osborne from MarieOsborne.com
Thank you Moms!
What I hear over and over again is that there is just not enough time in the day
for everything we need to do - be present for our kids, sleep, work, clean, Me
time. We need to prioritize the things we need to do and realize that we can't do
it all. Move some things from the "need to" list to the "want to" list (like
cleaning!) and relax a little bit. Good luck Mommies.
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Other Resources in The Parenting Lounge Series
1. Introducing A New Baby To The Family
2. Social Media and Your Kids
3. Your Kid’s First Cell Phone
4. Do You Give Your Kids An Allowance?
5. Introducing Your Pets To A New Baby
6. When Should Kids Do Their Own Laundry?