The Role of an Elder’s Spouse

By Jonas and Raquel Arrais, General Conference Ministerial Association

#

THE NEED FOR TEAMWORK

#

“As workers we need to counsel together over difficult matters. It is right that brother should consult with

brother. And it is our privilege after we have done this, to bow together in prayer and ask for divine wisdom

and counsel. But for one human voice to be a controlling power is a sad mistake.”

—Evangelism, p. 97

#

An Example of Team Ministry

“The seventy returned with joy, saying, Lord, even the demons are subjected to

us in your name!” (Luke 10:17)

#

Question for Reflection

Do you consider your spouse’s ministry as your ministry?

#

Answer

• It is his work in terms of details, hours spent, knowledge, and physical involvement.

• But it is our work in terms of feelings interests, listening, observation, and support.

Ruth SenterThe book of the Pastor’s Wives

#

A Spousal Team Ministry

“The conjugal ministry is the combination of a service for Christ with the skills and gifts that each spouse owns. Through this combination a more qualified and powerful service can be

exercised than the one made possible by only one.”

James Cress

#

Team Ministry Involves:

• Communication

• Sharing

• Support

• Recognition

#

Permanent Team: Family

• Marriage exceeds any other human relationship.

• It is linked by a permanent bond–a covenant.

• It is broader because it includes children.

• A well-ordered family is a powerful example.

#

As an Elder’s Spouse

• What to do?

• What training do I need?

• I do not feel capable.

• How may I help?

• What should I know?

#

Attitudes You Can Take

1. THE RESISTANT • Views the church as a competition with

their marriage.• Doesn’t want to know anything about this

way of life.• Thinks that their spouse loves the church

more than he/she.

Attitude: Disturbs the work of the spouse

#

Attitudes You Can Take

2. THE SPECTATOR • The call was for the spouse; not for her/him.• She/he wants to be treated like another member of

the church.• She/he does not want major commitments.• She/he positions herself/himself always a distance.

Attitude: Does not interfere nor help.

#

Attitudes You Can Take

3. THE SUPER WOMAN/MAN • She/he does everything the spouse can’t do.• Her/his commitment is laudable.• Spends many hours in the work of the church.• Has little time left.

Result: The home and the family are compromised.

#

Attitudes You Can Take

4. THE MANAGER• She/he is strong.• She/he is possibly more loved and affectionate

than the spouse at church.• Takes the lead on everything

Result: She/he is in charge.

#

Attitudes You Can Take

5. THE PARTNER• Cultivates a team ministry spirit.• Complements the work of the spouse. • Cooperates with the activities of the church.• Considers the ministry as part of God’s plan for her/his life. • Loves God, family, and the church.

Result: Helper and companion of the spouse.

#

What is the Best Attitude?

• The key word is Harmony.

• Avoid tension between home and

church.

• Place yourself in God’s hands.

• Recognize that God has a ministry

for both of you.

#

“These women who are doing with ready willingness what their hands find to do, with

cheerfulness of spirit aiding their husbands to bear their burdens and training their children

for God, are missionaries in the highest sense.”

—Adventist Home, p. 245