Post on 09-Dec-2014
description
www.dyanwilliams.com(612) 323-1859dyan@dyanwilliams.com
The Mindful Mediator:How to Stay Neutral in
Conflict Resolution
What key qualities must a mediator have for mediation to really work?
+ Neutral
+ Impartial
+ Objective
What does it mean to be neutral?
Neutral
Not supporting either of two opposing sides, impartial.
– Oxford Dictionary
Photo by: Ramón Peco, https://flic.kr/p/4uhQee
Neutral
No bias toward the parties.
No judgment about the parties/dispute.
No preference in the outcome.
Photo by: Ramón Peco, https://flic.kr/p/4uhQee
What does it mean to be impartial?
Impartial
Treat all alike; unprejudiced; fair.– Oxford Dictionary
Photo by: Palo, https://flic.kr/p/8DKS23
Impartial
Apply rules and guidelines the same way to all similarly-situated persons; equidistance between parties.
Photo by: Palo, https://flic.kr/p/8DKS23
What does it mean to be objective?
Objective
Deal with outward things uncolored by feelings or emotions.
- Oxford Dictionary Photo by: Serge Bares, https://flic.kr/p/c7qWUd
Objective
Analyze and evaluate positions based on facts and evidence.
Photo by: Serge Bares, https://flic.kr/p/c7qWUd
+ Neutral
+ Impartial
- Objective
= UNPRODUCTIVE
+ Neutral
+ Objective
- Impartial
= UNFAIR
+ Objective
+ Impartial
- Neutral
= UNRELIABLE
neutrality is usually harder to come by than impartiality or objectivity….
WHY?
Neutrality(Pure Awareness)
Objectivity(Objective Analysis)
Impartiality(Middle Way
Thinking)
Neutrality is natural, but not habitual
Neutrality = a sign of weakness (?)
“Neutrality is a negative word. It does not express what America ought to feel.” - Woodrow Wilson, 28th President of the United States, 1913 - 1921
“If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor.”- Desmond Tutu, South African cleric and activist
Neutrality = a state of impossibility (?)
We have biases
We make judgments
We hold preferences
In MEDIATION…
Neutrality = a sign of strength (!)
In MEDITATION…
Neutrality = a state of possibility (!)
How does meditation make neutrality possible?
MEDITATION creates mindfulness
MINDFULNESS is similar to neutrality
What is mindfulness?
Mindfulness is paying attention to the present moment without
bias
judgment
preference
Photo by: Yu, https://flic.kr/p/3GpaL
Photo #1
June 21, 2014, 2:04 p.m.
Photo #2
June 21, 2014, 12:15 p.m.
Photo #3
June 19, 2014, 1:10 pm
Photo #4
June 19, 2014, 5:15 pm
A Mindful (Neutral) Mediator is like…
THIS NOT THIS
Be the…
SKY NOT THE CLOUDS
How do you cultivate mindfulness (neutrality)?
Meditation in daily life
Photo by: Jelly Druyts, https://flic.kr/p/3pEYdC
Open awareness meditation
Photo by: Hadi Zaher, https://flic.kr/p/nKMo55
Object meditation
Photo by: Mae Chevrette, https://flic.kr/p/bnXATM
Meditation in yoga
Photo by: Aviva West, https://flic.kr/p/ax3FpV
Meditation in tai chi
Photo by: Brian Robinson, https://flic.kr/p/daoxi
Mindfulness takes FEAR out of the mediation process
Fusion
Enmity
Arrogance
Rejection
Mindfulness puts CARE into the mediation process
Curiosity
Appreciation
Respect
Equanimity
www.dyanwilliams.com(612) 323-1859dyan@dyanwilliams.com
Photo by: Toni Verdu Carbo, https://flic.kr/p/267df3