CLC, 3/8/16, Early Head Start Deb Weiner, LICSW

Temper Tantrums & Power Struggles

Goals for today:• Talking about “normal”• Increasing good days• Minimizing tantrums• Dealing well with

tantrums

Parents’ Goals:What one thing would you like to

learn or try at home with your toddler?

You have a short-term goal to increase peace and compliance in your

household. You have a long-term goal of developing a healthy, happy, well-

behaved child… At times, these are in conflict!

Expectations… What is normal for toddlers?

What questions do you have about whether or not something is “normal” with your child?

• Saying• Messy=Fun!• “Mine”= Toddlers’ Rules• Curiosity=Into Everything• Slow: to eat, dress, clean up• Fast: restless, limited attention span• Tantrums!

Accepting Reality

Allowing Feelings While Managing Behaviors and Maintaining

Boundaries

What works for you to minimize or deal with tantrums?

• Make Routines; Give Warnings

• Set Limits: Clear and Simple• Offer (Limited) Choices• “Catch” Your Child Being

Good• Ignore “Bad” Behavior

(unless unsafe)

What Can You Do?

What Can You Do? Part 2• Tell your child what she CAN do• Model behavior you want to

see• Talk to your child at eye level• Use simple, positive directions• Use “matter of fact” tone• Have a countdown to choice of

you do it or mom/dad will• Don’t try to reason during

tantrum• Remain calm, consistent• Avoid overtiredness, “hangry”

Setting up Environment for Success• Regular routines; meet basic needs

first!• Schedule positive activities that your

child can do and enjoys!• Appropriate activities• Appropriate supervision

Types of Tantrums: • Frustration• Exhaustion• Temper

3 Predictable Phases of Tantrums

1. Yell/Scream2. Throw (Self or objects or both)3. Cry/Whine

Wait until Phase 3 to actively intervene, except for safety

Video Clip – To See the 3 Phases…

Let’s PracticeA challenging situation we can brainstorm, discuss or try role-

playing?

• What one thing will you try to set up your home for success?

• What one thing will you do to handle the next tantrum that does occur?

• Write down on index card and post where you can see it!

• Ask for help.

Thanks for your attention!

Remember to practice your “one thing” a few minutes each day!

Deb Weiner, LICSWdeb.weiner@email.edcc.edu