Post on 30-Dec-2015
Swatting FliesMinimizing Backbiting as
an Organizational Distraction
A Presentation for
Cornerstone United Methodist Church
Swatting FliesMinimizing Backbiting as
an Organizational Distraction
A Presentation for
Cornerstone United Methodist Church
Kendall L. Stewart, M.D.March 9, 2003
What are theWhat are the objectivesobjectives of this of this presentation?presentation?
• After listening to this presentation, you will be able to– Describe three problems that backbiting
causes in our organizations– List three practical strategies for
minimizing backbiting– Explain why you should employ those
strategies, and– Specify exactly how those strategies can
be successfully implemented in your everyday life.
I want to speak frankly, and that may make you uncomfortable. Heck, speaking frankly makesme uncomfortable at times. I once treated an exhibitionist and a saran-wrapped psychotic.
What’s in this for What’s in this for you?you?• Backbiters are the pesky flies of organizational
life.• When others do it, they are attempting to
undermine and annoy; when we do it, we’re only expressing our opinions or trying to help.
• While eliminating backbiting entirely is unrealistic and undesirable, minimizing the impact of backbiting on our lives is a worthy goal.
• Here are some practical strategies that a wise mentor might suggest.
• Even the partial implementation of some of these strategies can make a world of difference in your life.
This is the kind of stuff that is hard to remember because it goes against the grain. A doctor asked me how you can tell you’re getting Alzheimer’s. Another colleague’s team lost on Sunday.
What are some practical What are some practical strategiesstrategies for minimizing the impact of for minimizing the impact of backbiting?backbiting?• Wear insect repellant.• Avoid garbage dumps.• Install window screens.• Don’t leave the door
open.• Hang fly traps.• Smack them hard when
they light.• Keep moving.• Keep some bullfrogs
around.• Stay cool. Sweat
attracts flies.• Keep the place clean.
• Listen for the buzz.• Seal the cracks.• Don’t give them time to
lay eggs.• Stay focused. Don’t lose
your head over a few flies.
• Drain the swamps.• Shoo them out (into the
light).• Keep a fly swatter handy.• Remain (mildly) annoyed.• Be realistic. You can’t kill
all of the flies.• Recognize that flies can
be helpful.
If you find yourself engaged in swatting flies regularly, you are doing something wrong. A woman found her husband with a swatter. “I’ve killed 3 males and 2 females!”
Stop leaving the Stop leaving the doordoor open. open.
• Why should you?– Backbiting flies look for
every opening.– Once inside, they are not
easily discouraged.– Shooing them back out is a
lot harder than keeping them out in the first place.
– A promise of confidentiality beforehand is an open door.
– A failure to breech confidentiality when you realize what is happening is another open door.
– Passive listening is yet another open door.
• How can you?– Never make a promise of
confidentiality before you have heard the message.
– Make it clear that your open door policy does not extend to backbiting—and then stick to your guns.
– Ask the flies whether they have confronted the person they are criticizing. If not, inform them that they have a choice.
– Go back to those to whom you have mistakenly pledged confidentiality.
– Recognize that if flies are visiting you regularly, you are leaving a door open.
Fellow executive came in to say her Director complained about my Director. I gave her Director24 hours to act. A doctor came to Randy to complain about me. I called the doctor myself.
Avoid Avoid garbagegarbage dumps. dumps.
• Why should you?– In every organization,
there are places where flies breed and swarm.
– Spend some time there and you will no long smell the stench.
– By your very presence, you legitimize what is going on.
– Feed on this filth, and you will start to crave it as a regular diet.
– Any attempt to point out the destructiveness of what is going on will be drowned out by the feeding frenzy.
• How can you?– Avoid these places and
situations.– If you must pass
through, keep moving. Don’t sit down.
– Spend your time upwind from these sewers.
– Remind yourself that bad habits are rarely discontinued. They are replaced with better habits.
– If you can’t find positive groups, learn to be alone.
– Insist that boaters row instead of drift. (Kendall trips)
The Chaplain of Bourbon Street. Wayne Young in San Diego. John Hurley in New Orleans. Jonathan’s experience in the teachers’ lounge. Medical Directors in Dallas—bad flight and whining.
Smack them Smack them hardhard when they when they light.light.• Why should you?
– Neither flies nor backbiters are easily discouraged.
– These varmints view the absence of adverse consequences as encouragement; they will conclude that you are just another rotting carcass.
– Strong consequences will stop some backbiting altogether—and encourage other flies to move on.
– Aggressive reaction will force us to look at ourselves.
• How can you?– Tell them that this is
making you uncomfortable.
– Ask them to confront the victim directly.
– Document what they said.
– Withdraw your commitment of keep what they said in confidence.
– Consider telling on them—if they won’t tell on themselves.
Smacking others in love is the most effective approach. Dr. Bertrand challenged me about my complaint about a professor. Signed my diploma and offered to nominate me for a Rhoades.
What have you What have you learnedlearned from this from this presentation?presentation?
• We are all backbiters.• We have all been backbitten.• We ought to strive to minimize the
backbiting in our lives.• It is not easy.• And most people don’t try very hard.• You now know some things that can
help you make a difference in your life and the lives of those around you.
We all have our excuses. Here are some reportedly recorded by school secretaries.
Where can you learnWhere can you learn more?more?
• Stewart, Kendall L., et. al. A Portable Mentor for Organizational Leaders, SOMCPress, 2003
• Stewart, Kendall L., “Physician Traps: Some Practical Ways to Avoid Becoming a Miserable Doctor” A SOMCPress White Paper, SOMCPress, July 24, 2002
• Stewart, Kendall L. et. al, “On Being Successful at SOMC: Some Practical Guidelines for New Physicians” A SOMCPress White Paper, SOMCPress, January 2001
• Stewart, Kendall L., “Bigwigs Behaving Badly: Understanding and Coping with Notable Misbehavior” A SOMCPress White Paper, SOMCPress, March 11, 2002
• Stewart, Kendall L., “Relationships: Building and Sustaining the Interpersonal Foundations of Organizational Success” A SOMCPress White Paper, SOMCPress, March 11, 2002
How can we How can we contactcontact you?you?
Kendall L. Stewart, M.D.Kendall L. Stewart, M.D.Medical DirectorMedical Director
Southern Ohio Medical CenterSouthern Ohio Medical CenterPresident & CEOPresident & CEO
The SOMC Medical Care Foundation, Inc.The SOMC Medical Care Foundation, Inc.
1805 27th StreetPortsmouth, Ohio 45662
740.356.8153
stewartk@somc.org www.somc.org
Southern Ohio Medical Center Safety Quality Service Relationships Performance
WhatWhat questionsquestions do you have?do you have?
www.somc.org