Session #7: Dealing with

Difficult People

Richard Brynteson, Ph.D.

Saturday, July 13, 2019

10:50 – 11:50 a.m.

Lake Minnewaska

Richard Brynteson, Ph.D.

Dr. Richard Brynteson is a professor, executive coach, innovation consultant, author, and public

speaker. He teaches in the MBA program at Concordia University, where he has been a

professor of 26 years. He has published six books, on business subjects like innovation and

behavioral economics. He has worked with companies on innovation projects in Africa, Asia and

the United States. He has only had to bribe his way out of jail once.

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Dealing with Difficult People

Dr. Richard Brynteson

brynteson@csp.edu

Summer 2019

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Handling Difficult Workplace Behaviors

• Avoid it.

• Neutralize your reaction (trigger awareness)

• Change their

behavior

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Conflict Styles

Avoid

Compete

Collaborate

Compromise

accomodate

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Goals of the various modes

Competing: "win"

Avoiding: “delay”

Compromising: "find a middle ground"

Collaborating: "find a win-win solution"

Accommodating: "yield"

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Competing – Assertive &

Uncooperative

• Pursue own concerns (at expense of other)

• Standing up for your own rights

• Defending position feel strongly about

• Simply trying to win

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Avoiding – Unassertive &

Uncooperative

• Do not pursue own concerns – or concerns

of other person

• Do not address the conflict

– Sidestep the issue

– Postpone until a better time

• Withdraw; threatening situation

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Collaborating -- Assertive &

Cooperative

• Work with other person (department)

to find a solution

• Digs into issue; underlying concerns

• Determine alternatives to satisfy

concerns of both

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Accommodating – Unassertive and

Cooperative

• Neglect his/her own concerns – satisfy other person(s)

• Self-sacrifice; generosity; charity

• Following an order (you’d rather not)

• Yielding to another’s view

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Compromising – Intermediate Assertiveness

& Cooperativeness

• Objective is to find expedient solution – partially satisfies both parties

• Middle ground

Types of difficult People

• The negative critic

• The angry bully

• The gossip

• The control freak

• The guilt tripper

• The moody type

• The know it all

• The shy person

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Bullies

• Low self-esteem!!! and self-confidence

• They fear being revealed.

• Their fear of exposure borders on paranoia.

• Seething with resentment, bitterness and

anger

• Driven by jealously and envy

• Denial, blame and feigning victimhood

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How to confront: one way

1. Face up to the person directly and by yourself

2. Write down exact problem and goal.

3. Write down a list of points.

4. Write down their objections, reactions, or

disagreements.

5. Organize your notes and supporting documents.

6. Arrange the meeting where you will not be

disturbed.

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