Self-Care

Today’s Agenda: � Self-Care: What is it � Why do we need it � How to “self-care”

�  Ideas for self-care � A Lesson on Mindfulness

Self-Care: What is it? Taking good care of you, means the people in your life will receive the best of you, rather than what’s left of you.

- Carl Bryan

Why does it matter? When you take time to replenish your spirit, it allows you to serve others from the overflow. You cannot serve from an empty vessel.

-Eleanor Brownn

What we’re up against: Stress, Burnout, & Compassion Fatigue

Stress Stress is the trash of modern life — we all generate it but if you don't dispose of it properly, it will pile up and overtake your life.

- Terri Guillemets  

Stress takes its toll… �  Immune system � Cardiovascular system � Nervous system �  Increases inflammation �  Increases negative mood states �  Increases adrenaline and cortisol (stress)

levels � Etc., etc., etc.

Stress vs. Burnout Stress Burnout

Over-engagement Disengagement

Emotions are overactive Emotions are blunted

Produces urgency & hyperactivity

Produces helplessness and hopelessness

Loss of energy Loss of motivation, ideals, and hope

Leads to anxiety disorders Leads to detachment and depression

Primary damage is physical Primary damage is emotional

Compassion Fatigue Compassion is sometimes the fatal capacity for feeling what it is like to live inside somebody else's skin. It is the knowledge that there can never really be any peace and joy for me until there is peace and joy finally for you too.

- Frederick Buechner

Symptoms of Compassion Fatigue �  Increased anxiety, blaming, isolation �  Impulsivity/reactivity �  Increased perception of demand/threat �  Increased frustration/anger �  Poor self-care (i.e., hygiene, appearance) �  Sleep disturbance �  Difficulty concentrating �  Change in weight/appetite �  Somatic symptoms

So what does self-care look like? To experience peace does not mean that your life is always blissful. It means that you are capable of tapping into a blissful state of mind amidst the normal chaos of a hectic life.

-Jill Bolte Taylor

“Doing” Self-Care 1.  Ideas for self-care 2.  Mindfulness

Ide

as fo

r Self-C

are

Stress Relief Activities � Engage one or more of your senses to

relieve stress

�  Read a good book �  Watch your favorite movie/tv show �  Engage your visual senses in painting or

photography �  Allow yourself to day dream for 10 minutes �  Use visualization techniques �  Evoke good memories from looking

at a memory or story board, scrapbook, etc.

See

Listen � Sit outside and enjoy the sounds � Listen to a favorite piece of music � Listen to some sounds; lapping water, etc. � Listen to a motivational recording � Play relaxing music � Listen to a radio program with your eyes

closed � Listen to a favorite book on tape

Smell � Burn some aromatherapy oils � Enjoy the aroma of scented candles � Do some baking- the mixture of aromas

and soothing movements � Enjoy outdoor smells hiking � Enjoy the aroma of freshly brewed tea or

coffee

Taste/Talk �  Chew a piece of gum �  Use deep breathing exercises �  Eat a piece of dark chocolate �  Use deep breathing exercises �  Repeat affirmations out loud �  Sing �  Laugh �  Have a chat with someone who

listens

Touch �  Exercise �  Squeeze a stress ball �  Pet your animal �  Wear soft, warm clothing �  Bake- enjoy the soothing, repetitive

movements �  Play a musical instrument �  Have a massage �  Yoga or pilates

Even more options…

Distraction

• Conversation • Listen to talk

radio • Do a puzzle • Play a game • Make a list • Learn something

new • Clean • Garden • Arts & crafts

Grounding

• Use your body and senses

• Smell fragrances •  Slowly taste

food • Notice colors

around you • Walk on grass

barefoot • Squeeze clay or

mud • Yoga, meditate,

exercise

Emotional Release

• Go for a run/exercise

• Take a cold shower

• Have a good cry • Watch a funny

show • Watch a sad

movie • Dance to music

Self Love

• Massage hands with cream

• Manicure your nails

• Cook a special meal

• Clean your house (or just make your bed)

• Bubble bath or long shower, brush hair

Thought Challenge

• Write down negative thoughts then list all the reasons they may not be true

• Imagine someone you love had these thoughts – what advice would you give them?

Access your Higher Self

• Help someone else

• Smile at strangers (see how many smiles you get back)

• Pray • Volunteer • Do random acts

of kindness • Join a cause

That’s great, but…

what about when you’re in the moment?

Self-Care: In the Midst of Life � <iframe width="560" height="315"

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Self-Care: In the Midst of Life Practicing Mindfulness

What mindfulness is NOT � NOT positive thinking � NOT a way to clear your mind � NOT just a distraction � Does NOT require any particular religious

or cultural belief system �  Is NOT something we acquire

Mindfulness: Definition #1 �  Mindfulness is to be aware. To be aware when

you are breathing in and to be aware of when you are breathing out… it is the capactiy to be aware of what is here. Anything can be the object of mindfulness. Your breath. The sky. It is to be in touch with our felt experience in each moment.

Thich Nhat Hanh Book Recommendation:

Peace in Every Step

Mindfulness: Definition #2 � Mindfulness is paying attention, on

purpose, in the present, and non-judgmentally, to the unfolding experience moment by moment.

Jon Kabat-Zinn Book Recommendation:

Full Catastrophe Living

Mindfulness: Definition #3 � Mindfulness is to distinguish awareness

from mental activity, it is to learn to be aware of our own mental states without being caught in them.”

Jack Kornfield Book Recommendation:

Wise Heart

Three Elements of Mindfulness

Mindfulness

Attitude

Attention

Intention

1. Intention It's only when we meditate for its own sake, rather than trying to get something from it, that we find the results we're after.

- Ed Halliwell

2. Attention � Awareness of the present moment � Become aware of our mind’s activity

�  Judgments: liking, disliking �  Associations: memories, stories, comparisons �  Emotional: what emotions are coloring our

perspective �  Commentary: our thoughts comment on all

our experiences

3. Attitude � Non-judging � Patience � Beginner’s Mind � Trust � Non-Striving � Acceptance � Letting go

Being vs. Doing Being Doing

Striving Non-striving

Avoidance Approach

Thoughts as “real” Thoughts as thoughts

Living in past and future Living in the present moment

Indirect experience Direct experience

Automatic Intentional

Mindfulness in Practice

� Formal practice: meditate, body scans, breathing exercises, etc.

�  Informal practice: awareness of body sensations, thoughts, emotions, and sensory input during daily life, “in the moment”

Mindfulness in Practice �  Increase awareness � Placing our attention � Developing a new relationship with our

experience � Being Mind � Responding to experience based on

awareness

Stress Reaction vs. Response

Stress Reaction vs. Response

� External Event à Internal Event à Alarm Reactivity à Stress Reaction à Acute hyper arousal à Increases chance of survival in a dangerous and hostile situation

Instinctual Response to Threat 1.  Fight, flight, or freeze 2.  Problem solve

What keeps us stuck in distress

Stress Reaction vs. Response

�  Introducing conscious process that influences the flow of events that are likely to bring about automatic reactivity

Mindful Response to Threat �  Be with and approach our experience �  See things as they actually are, in the here

and now of this moment �  Bringing a friendly curiosity to our experience �  Investigating our experience �  Non-fixing, not trying to change what is �  Chooses to respond based on full and current

information, rather than habitual reacting

Manage Stress Mindfully � Allows us to respond wisely and

appropriately �  Instead of adding to the difficulty, as it is

perceived, through habitual (instinctual) reactions

Why practice mindfulness? � Lasting decrease in physical and

psychological symptoms � An increase in ability to relax � Reduction in pain/or enhanced coping

with pain � Greater energy and enthusiasm for life �  Improved self-esteem

RAIN of Compassion � Recognition – notice what’s happening

� Acceptance – say “yes”, allow, make room for experience

� Investigate – be curious, even familiar experiences do not repeat

� Non-identification – become a witness to the experience. Do not get caught in it

� + Compassion – maintaining an attitude of kindness, friendliness, and gentleness towards self and others

When can you practice mindfulness?

whenever you’re breathing!

Self-Care Training Prepared by Allie Gross, MSW Intern

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