“Resolving Conflict” Moving From Conflict To Collaboration

Facilitator

Willie Johnson Performance

Improvement and

Training Consultant

Conflict Resolution

What concerns me is not the way

things are, but rather the way

people think things are…

Epicteus

What Is Conflict?

• Positive or Negative

Communication

• Fact Of Life

• State of being that occurrs over a prolonged period during which issues are not addressed – thereby adding to dissonance.

The Challenge“When Dealing With Conflict”

Seek win-win relationships -

Thru A Collaborative Process

All Roads Can Lead To

Conflict:

Differences in needs, Differences in perceiving

objectives and values. Motives, words, actions

Diversity and Miscommunication.

Differing expectations of Unwillingness to work

outcomes - favorable through issues,

versus unfavorable collaborate or

Personality Type compromise

Conflict Communication Skills• Reflection (Ack. Behavior)

• I-Statements (Show Empathy)

• Diplomatic Disagreement

• Gentle Confrontation

• Firm Confrontation

Understanding - Demand For Action

Five Popular Approaches To

Conflict Resolution

• Avoid

• Force

• Accommodate

• Compromise

• Collaborate

Avoid

• Avoid - sidestepping, ignoring

or postponing.

Avoiding Conflict Successfully Use when something else is more important.

Down Side to Avoiding Conflict Could appear indecisive

Matter remains temporarily unresolved

Force

• Force - making the other person do

what you want.

How to Force Successfully Be clear and direct

Down Side to Using Force Causes Resentment

Lowers Morale

Accommodate• Accommodate - meeting the other

persons needs, giving in to their desires.

Accommodating Successfully Ask questions

Accommodate graciously

Down Side to AccommodatingPushover

Doormat

Compromise• Compromise - trading something

you want for something they want,

finding the middle ground.

Compromising SuccessfullyWhat are you & the other person willing to give up?

Down Side to Compromising Doesn’t expose underlying issues

Principles and ethics cannot be compromised

Collaborate• Collaboration - Reaching a mutually beneficial

agreement, and finding creative solutions that

meet everyone’s needs.

Collaborating Successfully Identify and clarify issues

Restate the problem

Find out what each side wants

Generate possible solutions

Anticipate possible problems.

“6” Key Actions To Moving From

Conflict To Collaboration

• Establish mutual involvement.

• Focus – situation, issue, behavior - Not person

• Seek to understand the other person’s view.

• Present you perspective of the problem and its impact

• Decide on an appropriate plan of action.

• Express your appreciation for the other person

Moving From Conflict To

Collaboration: “ Key Action #1”

Establish Mutual

Involvement.• Briefly describe the

problem.

• State your positive

intentions

Moving From Conflict To

Collaboration: “ Key Action #2”

Seek To Understand The Other Person’s Point Of View.

– Ask questions to bring out critical issues.

– Listen until you completely understand

– Check your understanding

Moving From Conflict To

Collaboration: “ Key Action #3”

Present your perspective of

the problem and its

impact.

– Describe the problem and

it’s impact from your

perspective (be objective

& non-judgmental / ID

your feelings, desires &

needs)

Moving From Conflict To

Collaboration: “ Key Action #4”

Decide On An Appropriate Plan Of Action

– Agree on the issues to be addressed

– Share responsibility for implementing your plan

– Document agreed-upon actions/follow-up times

Moving From Conflict To

Collaboration: “ Key Action #5”

Express Your Appreciation

For The Other Person’s

Efforts

– Thank the other person

– Summarize what you have

learned

Strategies To Avoid

• Minimization

•

• Blame

•

• Unloading

• Manipulation

Coping Strategies

Don’t waste energy with skeptics

who won’t listen.

Agree To Disagree, Agreeably

(No-Deal is form of Win-Win).

Brainstorm with others and

develop a new way of coping

with the situation.

What do you do if you still can’t

resolve your conflict?

Attitude: Your “MOST”

Priceless Possession• Managing Yourself

– Play Your Winners

• Managing Stress

– Accentuate The Positive

• Building Support

– Network - Network

• Thinking Powerfully

– Collaboration is the

“key” to lasting

relationships

Addendum

Relationship

Building

How Do You Maintain Positive Relationships?

• Become A Friendlier Person

• Win People To Your Way

Of Thinking

• Be A Leader

Relationship Building

(1) Become A Friendlier Person• Don’t criticize,

condemn, or complain

• Arouse in others an

eager want.

• Be a good listener

(Seek first to

understand – then to be

understood)

• Make others feel

important. (Be sincere)

Relationship Building

(2) Win people to your way of thinking

• Show respect for others

opinions.

• Try “honestly” to see

things from other’s point

of view.

• Be sympathetic with

others ideas & desires.

• Throw down a

challenge.

Relationship Building

(3) Be A Leader• Ask questions instead

of giving direct orders

• Praise even the

slightest improvement

• Give others a fine

reputation to live up to

• Use encouragement &

make others feel happy

about doing things you

suggest.

What ripples out from

You?