1

InterpersonalInterpersonal

Relationships: Relationships: Friends, Friends,

Spouses, Family Spouses, Family

Relationships: Relationships: Friends, Friends,

Spouses, Family Spouses, Family

2

Intimate RelationshipsIntimate Relationships

Intimacy, though part of many close relationships, is not synonymous with love or exclusivity. Intimate friends are people who like each other, enjoy each other’s company, go out of their way to help each other, and are concerned for each other’s welfare.

3

Types of Intimate Types of Intimate RelationshipsRelationships

• Friends

Same-sex

Opposite-sex

• Lovers

• Spouses

• Family

4

Hallmarks of Intimate Hallmarks of Intimate RelationshipsRelationships

• Warmth and affection

• Trust

• Self-disclosure

• Commitment

• Formalized through symbols and

rituals

5

Partners Are:Partners Are:• Dependable –Dependable – one who can be relied upon at

all times under all circumstances

• Responsive –Responsive – one whose actions are geared toward the other person’s needs

• Effective at conflict resolution –Effective at conflict resolution – one who can manage conflicts in a collaborative way

• Faithful –Faithful – one who is secure in the belief that the other person is trustworthy and the relationship will endure

6

• Relationships are based on shared activities

• Generally have topical conversations

• Intimacy is based on physical nearness

• Conversations focus on personal and relational topics

• Intimacy is based on disclosure sharing information, feelings, secrets and insights

Male Male RelationshipsRelationships

FemaleFemale

RelationshipsRelationships

7

Types of MarriagesTypes of Marriages• Traditional –Traditional – share a traditional

ideology, maintain some independence, are emotionally expressive, highly interdependent and engage in conflict

• Independent –Independent – less traditional marriage view, are less interdependent, and maintain separate physical spaces

• Separate –Separate – engage in less emotional sharing, are highly autonomous and try to avoid conflict -Fitzpatrick

8

60% of all marriages fit in the three categories, 60% of all marriages fit in the three categories, 40% of husbands and wives do not agree on 40% of husbands and wives do not agree on which category their marriage is inwhich category their marriage is in

20%22%

18%

40%

0%

5%

10%

15%

20%

25%

30%

35%

40%

Traditionals Independents Separates Other

9

Keys to Long-term Keys to Long-term MarriageMarriage

• Treat each other with respect

• Spend an appropriate amount of time with each other

• Share a plan or life vision

Mic

roso

ft P

hoto

10

FamilyFamily

“A group of intimates who generatea sense of home and group identity, complete with strong ties of loyalty and emotion and experience a history and a future.” (Galvin & Brommel, 1996)

11

Family CommunicationFamily Communication

1. Contributes to the self-concept formation of family members

2. Supplies needed recognition and support

3. Establishes models of communication behavior

12

To Improve Family To Improve Family CommunicationCommunication

• Open the lines of communication.

• Confront the effects of power imbalances.

• Recognize and adapt to change.

• Respect individual interests.

• Manage conflicts equitably.

13

Family ViolenceFamily Violence

• A spiral of family conflict that escalates into attacks upon family members (Yerby et. al., 1995)

• Attacks can take many forms.• Physical abuse most often perpetrated by

men, but verbal aggression can be every bit as harmful to a relationship as physical abuse, and both men and women engage in verbal abuse.

14

Why Do Women Stay in Why Do Women Stay in Abusive Relationships?Abusive Relationships?

Men are taught to use power to assert themselves and to compete with others. Women are socialized to defer and preserve relationships. Therefore, a foundation exists for men to abuse women and for women to tolerate it rather than be disloyal.

15

The Cycle of AbuseThe Cycle of AbuseStage 1 Tension

Stage 2Explosion

Stage 3 Remorse

Stage 4 Honeymoon

16

Causes of Relational Causes of Relational ProblemsProblems

• Jealousy

• Sex-Role Stereotyping

17

JealousyJealousy• Women likely to feel jealous when they

feel ignored or emotionally separate from partner

• Men likely to feel jealous when their partner gives positive attention to another person

• To reduce jealousy in a relationship, increase the level of trust that exists between partners

18

Sex-Role StereotypingSex-Role Stereotyping• Sex-role stereotyping continues to be a

problem in many intimate relationships. Because intimate communication entails shared personal meaning, both men and women need to be able to step outside the traditional stereotypes, acquire each other’s traditional skills, and become well-rounded communicators.

19

Improving Male-Female Improving Male-Female RelationshipsRelationships

• Acknowledge the effects of conditioning

• Examine dependency relationships that result from sex-role stereotypes

• Monitor sex-role based tendencies toward communication dominance or passiveness

20