PARENTING WITH LOVE AND LOGIC

Kristen GephartThe Bear Creek SchoolRedmond, Washington

tbcs.org

What do you want for your child?

To be loved, to feel loved Responsible Confident Anything else?

What kind of parent fosters these qualities?

Why Parent with Love and Logic?

The Love and Logic Technique offers parents proactive, respectful, and loving ways to:

Raise responsible children Raise ethical, caring children Raise children who are prepared to make

positive contributions See Handout A: What is Parenting with Love

and Logic

The Misbehavior Cycle

Child experiments

with misbehavior

Adult shows anger or

frustration

Child develops disrespect for

authority figure

Negative self-concept ensues

The Two Rules ofLove and Logic

Adults set firm limits in loving ways without

anger, lecture, or threatsWhen a child causes a

problem, the adult hands it back in loving ways

Love and Logic PlaybookHandout B

• Always lead with empathy• Research

Strategy 1: Empathy

• “Oh, Oh, looks as if you are…..”

Strategy 2: Oh, Oh Song

• Neutralize arguing with a One-liner (Handout C)• Neutralize arguing with One Sentence (Handout

D)

Strategy 3: Neutralize Arguing

Love and Logic Playbook

• Enforceable statements tell children what we will do or allow rather than telling them what to do (Handout E)

• Turn Your Word into gold (Handout F)

Strategy 4: Enforceable Statements

• Sharing Control Through Choices (Handout G)

Strategy 5: Choices

Love and Logic Playbook

• Consequences/Delayed Consequences (Handout H)

• Use the Energy Drain approach (Handout I)

Strategy 6: Consequences

• Reconnect after the consequence

Strategy 6: Restitution

Love and Logic Pearls

Guide Children to Solve Their Own Problems (Handout J)

Routine responsibilities

Homework (Handout K)

Praise, praise, praise

Fill a Bucket

Love and Logic Mary and Martha (Luke 10:40-42) Slow down, use your eyes and your words thoughtfully Focus on your children’s strengths rather than

weaknesses Be a bucket filler

I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and

high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge.

Ephesians 3:17-19