Post on 01-Apr-2015
presented by: Monica Thorpe and Cassie Fredendall
Men and Women in Men and Women in ConversationConversation
2 May 2007
To determine the different roles that men and women play in conversation
To examine the reasons why they play those roles
To see if what we are reading connects with the opinions of people we interviewed
ObjectivesObjectives
A Look Back . . .A Look Back . . .A woman’s tongue wags like a lamb’s tail. (English proverb)
The North Sea will sooner be found wanting in water than a woman at a loss for a word. (Jutland's proverb)
“The vocabulary of a woman as a rule is much less extensive than that of a man.” (Jespersen, 1922)
A whistling sailor, a crowing hen and a swearing woman ought all three to go to hell together. (American proverb)
Many women, many words; many geese, many turds. (English proverb)
“One tongue (language) is sufficient for a woman.” (Milton)
Silence is the best ornament for a woman. (English proverb)
Questions1. In one-on-one conversations between men and women
, who talks more? Why do you think this?2. In social groups with both men and women present, w
ho talks more? Why do you think this?3. What kind of role does each sex play in a one-on-one
conversation (who talks, who listens, who questions, who lectures)?
4. How can you tell if the opposite sex is listening to you?5. How often do you feel the opposite sex listens to you?
How often do you feel the same sex listens to you? 6. In one-on-one conversations between men and women
who interrupts more?
7. Do men and women view conversation differently? What is the purpose of conversation for each sex?
8. Would you rather tell your problems to a man or a woman? How would you expect each sex to react?
VocabularyVocabulary
Sociolinguistics: the study of language in its social context
Stylistic Variation: in different social contexts an individual will speak in different ways
Social Variation: speakers who differ from each other in terms of age, sex, social class, and ethnic group will also differ from each other in speech, even in the same social context
Vernacular: speech used spontaneously among people who know each other well
Women as a Social GroupWomen as a Social Group
Accept (Inferior Status)Accept (Inferior Status)
Intra-group comparison: women compare themselves with other women in order to achieve a positive self-image, areas of comparison may include things such as cooking, sewing, child-care, and personal appearance
Tokenism: join superior group, a women will attempt individually to leave the women’s group and become accepted by men, a woman who operates successfully in the men’s world and for all purposes becomes a man, this may occur in business circles and politics
Reject (inferior status)Reject (inferior status) Assimilation: women assimilate into the
dominant group, may use deeper voices, swear and use taboo language, adopt a more aggressive style, etc.
Redefining negative characteristics: women change negative images into positive ones, stress the value of stereotyped female qualities (gentleness, caring, etc) and point out that male qualities (assertiveness, aggression, etc) are not always socially useful
Create new dimensions for comparison: women groups with no clear leaders, do not follow male norms
The Differences: Body The Differences: Body LanguageLanguage
Men Take up more physical
space when sitting or standing, with arms and legs stretched out away from their body
Gesture away from the body
Assume more reclined positions when sitting and lean backward when listening
Approach women more closely in terms of their personal space
Women Take up less physical
space, sitting with arms and legs toward their body
Gesture toward the body
Assume more forward positions when sitting and lean forward when listening
Do not approach men as closely in terms of their personal space
The Differences: Facial The Differences: Facial ExpressionsExpressions
Men Tend to cock their
head to one side and look at the other person from an angle when listening
Provide fewer facial expressions in feedback and fewer reactions
Display frowning and squinting when listening
Stare more in negative interaction
Women Tend to look at the
other person directly facing them with their head and eyes facing forward when listening
Provide more facial expressions and more reactions
Display smiling and head nodding when listening
Lower their eyes more to avert gaze in negative interaction
The Differences: Speech The Differences: Speech PatternsPatterns
Men Speak in a louder voice Use loudness to emphasize
points Sound more monotonous
in speech; use approximately 3 tones when talking
Interrupt others more and allow fewer interruptions
Disclose less personal information about themselves
Make direct accusations (“You don’t call.”)
Women Speak in a softer voice Use pitch and inflection to
emphasize points Sound more emotional in
speech; use approximately 5 tones when talking
Interrupt others less and allow more interruptions
Disclose more personal information about themselves
Make more indirect statements; use why, which sounds like nagging (“Why don’t you ever call?”)
The Differences: Speech The Differences: Speech Patterns, cont.Patterns, cont.
Men Make more direct
statements Use less intensifiers Make more declarative
statements Use more interjections
when changing topics Ask fewer questions to
stimulate conversation Rarely discuss their
personal life in business Swear more
Women Make more indirect
statements Use more intensifiers, such
as few, so, really, much, quite
Make more tentative statements and use “tag endings” or upward inflections which make statements sound like questions
Use more conjunctions when changing topics
Ask more questions to stimulate conversations
Establish more business relationships by discussing their personal life
Swear less than men
Excerpted from the bookHe Says, She Says: Closing the Communication Gap Between the Sexes
by Dr. Lillian Glass. Putnam, 1992.
Why we talk . . .Why we talk . . .“For most women, the language of
conversation is primarily a language of rapport: a way of establishing connections and negotiating relationships. Emphasis is placed on displaying similarities and matching experiences.”
“For most men, talk is primarily a means to preserve independence and negotiate and maintain status in a hierarchical social order. This is done by exhibiting knowledge and skill, and by holding center stage through verbal performance such as storytelling, joking or imparting information.” Tannen, You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in
Conversation, 77.
Hope for the futureHope for the future
“What is the hope for the future? Must we play out our assigned parts to the closing
act? Although we tend to fall back on habitual ways of talking, repeating old
refrains and familiar lines, habits can be broken. Women and men both gain by
understanding the other gender’s style, and by learning to use it on occasion.”
-Deborah Tannen
BibliographyBibliography
Clark, Virginia P., Escholz, Paul A., and Rosa, Alfred F. Language: Readings in Language and Culture. Boston: Bedford/St. Martin’s Press, 1998.
Coates, Jennifer. Women, Men and Language. New York: Longman, 1986.
Glass, Lillian. He Says, She Says: Closing the Communication Gap Between the Sexes. New York: Perigee Books, 1993.
Tannen, Deborah. You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation. New York: Ballantine Books, 1990.
Tannen, Deborah. Gender and Discourse. New York: Oxford University Press, 1994.