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PEEDEE AND THE TATER FIELD
By Ron Blank
CHAPTER 1 SOME BACKGROUND
Fifteen miles outside of Flint, Michigan, at the corner of
Center and Carpenter Roads theres a five acre parcel of
land with an apple orchard, a corncrib, a chicken coop,
a white farmhouse with a very large front lawn, which I
had to cut with a push lawnmower every other Saturday
in the summer. It was a very hard two and half hours.
The blisters on my hands barely had time to heal before
it was time to do it again. By the end of summer I had
two hands covered with calluses. I was eleven years
old. There was a well with a hand pump in the front
yard under a winter pear tree. The Emett family and
their three girls lived across the road. I was young, but
not too young to lust for the female body, just too
young to do anything about it. I would sit in front of our
large front window and stare across the road at their
house, imagining what sexual activities they must be
engaged in. My brother, David, six years my elder, had
parties when our parents were away and it was my job
to keep the record changer loaded and running. Wewere of the Glenn Miller and Benny Goodman
generation, and I knew all the record titles by heart, top
and flip sides. I worked the phonograph while David and
his friends worked on other things.
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David taught me to drive. It was his last year in high
school and he had a job watering the greens and doing
general maintenance at Kearsley golf course. He wentto school in the daytime and worked on the golf course
three nights a week, and weekends. I often went with
him and drove the pickup truck that shuttled the hoses
and sprinklers from green to green. We waded for golf
balls in the river that crossed the course and sold them
on Saturday morning in front of the clubhouse; ten for a
dollar for damaged water balls, fifty cents for an
undamaged used Titleist and a dollar for a like-new one.
We fished for bullhead in the same river, swiped
watermelons from a farmers patch, and occasionally
drove into Flint with Davids high school friends to get
large containers of Vernors ginger ale and fat White
Castle hamburgers, and see a movie. Thats how I saw
Ernest Hemmingways The Killers at the Palace
Theater. After David graduated he worked for a year at
Ternstedt General Motors plant and then went into the
Army Air Force. David was very popular in school, a
natural athlete. I always felt that he was more than just
six years older than me.
CHAPTER 2 NEIGHBORS
Mr. Heeburt lived half a mile up the road with his highschool aged son and middle-school aged daughter. Mr.
Heeburt hired me in the summer to weed his garden.
Mr. Heeburt stuffed animals and birds so hunters could
hang them on their walls. I was amazed at how life-like
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they looked especially their eyes and faces. They didnt
look dead, but retired from a dangerous and uncertain
life. I saw no signs of death on their faces.When I was eight I was encouraged to touch my dead
fathers forehead while he lay in his coffin and I was
surprised at how cold he was; as cold as a table top, as
cold as a cement sidewalk in the shade. It shocked and
frightened me. I didnt want to touch the dead animals.
The deer and elk intimidated me with their eyes, as
though I could have somehow prevented their eternal
embarrassment.
Every Wednesday and Friday morning I pulled weeds in
Mr. Heeburts garden. I didnt think his freckle faced
daughter noticed me until one Saturday when he was
gone she invited me into the house for lemonade. I had
never been in the house before. She sat on the couch in
the living room with her legs spread apart and a glass of
lemonade in each hand. I could see her pink panties, and
I knew that she knew I could see them. I tried to hide my
erection by crossing my arms over my lap and juggling
the lemonade glass back and forth between my hands.
She invited me to go upstairs, but I didnt know what to
do and I was scared to death of being discovered by her
brother, who was outside target shooting his twenty-
two rifle. Her brother would set cans on rocks behind hishouse and shoot at them while I was weeding in the
garden. Sometimes I would hear a bullet ricochet and I
would duck, half expecting to be shot. Ricky was kind of
jumpy and I was afraid of him and his gun.
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I had a forty -five pound pull bow and I shot arrows at a
target nailed to the front of our pig pen, but I never
tried to hit anything living. I thought it would be morefair to hunt with a bow and arrow; more in keeping with
the rules of nature. The bow made my arm sore, but at
least I had some muscle to show for it.
CHAPTER 3 MY LIFE
My best friend, Peedee, lived across the field in a tiny
cottage with his parents. His father, Sam, cleaned
outside toilets and septic tanks for a living. Peedees
mother, Willa, who was often ill, was always doing
washing, cleaning, or cooking. Sam was often drunk and
he was mean when he was drunk. Once in a while, when
he was sober, he would take Peedee and me to the
Beecher Township movie theater in the bed of his smelly
work truck. It was always a double feature, often a Gene
Autry or Roy Rogers film, or perhaps an Abbot and
Costello comedy plus a chapter of Batman and Robin or
The Shadow. The theater was always packed with
grateful screaming kids.
I went to Peedees house by passing through our apple
orchard. If Sams truck was parked next to the cottage I
would turn around and go back to my house. If the truck
was gone I knew Sam was gone and Peedee and I couldpitch horseshoes next to the barn.
Michigan winters are very cold and when the ground
begins to thaw in spring farmers start to plow their
fields to plant early potatoes. Peedee missed a lot of
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school because the potato field was his responsibility. It
was his job to hitch up Horse and Mule to pull the plow. I
couldnt help him on school days but I could onSaturdays, and sometimes on Sundays. The Second
World War had just begun and my trip to Peedees was
my cue to practice soldier tactics. I raced across the
field with my stick-rifle, flopping down and belly
crawling in the weeds for a few yards and suddenly
jumping up and dashing left and right like a chased
rabbit. When I came to the creek that Peedee had
diverted for watering his potato field I leapt it like a
commando attacking the enemy, but I always jumped
short and plopped my tenny shoes into the squishy mud,
keeping my balance only by swinging my arms. Peedee
always cleared it in a single leap.
The cottage smelled of damp earth. The floor was
covered with bumpy, faded, linoleum, camouflaged by
gaudy throw rugs, accented by a black beer-belly
shaped wood stove. There was no ceiling. The stove pipe
went straight up and through the flat roof. Thin plywood
partitions, rising to the roof, separated living spaces.
Each partition was nailed against a vertical pole and the
poles were toe-nailed to the underside of the roof at the
top, and to the floor at the bottom. A wire was strung
across each open space and a bed sheet was clothes-pinned to the wire. The smell of weeks of cooking
inhabited the air. Candles and kerosene lamps struggled
to brighten the spaces and threatening shadows played
in the corners. The walls were unembellished sheet rock.
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The only color was on two painted pie plates nailed to
the kitchen wall: a blue plate with a green border and a
small red plate. Pots and pans hung across the width ofthe kitchen from a high board, nailed at each end.
The floor linoleum had cracked and torn loose in places,
showing the decking beneath, and the ground under
that. Here and there a gaudy throw rug broke the
pattern of the linoleum. There was no inside toilet. A
hand pump that brought up water from a well was
mounted on the kitchen sink. I silently marveled over
the taste of the kitchen water. It tasted exactly the
same as the well water at my house. How ironic it was
that we lived in different places and everything about
our homes was different, but the water we drank was
exactly the same. Bathing water was heated on the pot
bellied stove and mixed with cold water in a large round
tub. On winter nights the stove was left to burn out on
its own. Each morning Peedee brought in wood and re-
built the fire. The day I met Willa, Peedees mother, was
a revelation for me. Until then I had know only two kinds
of mothers; American mothers, with regular English, and
foreign mothers with a kind of irregular English. My
mother was one of the latter, having emigrated from
Eastern Europe. Willa was neither. She spoke in definite
English, but used a kind of slangy pronunciation.Light from a kerosene lamp cut yellow creases into
Willas forehead and the sides of her mouth. She had a
sallow skin-and-bones look. She sat, glaring at the
mountain of dirty laundry piled in the corner. I held my
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red knit hat tight against my nose to strain out the
cooking odors that hung in the air like paste. She
offered me an apple-buttered biscuit. I politely said Iwasnt hungry.
Peedee says its plowing time again, I said.
Its getting nigh to it, Willa sighed.
I guess Peedee will have to stay home from school
now, I said.
Well, Willa said, his daddy dont have no time to
plow, and somebody has ta do it. Peedee has been
plantin' taters since he was nine. I dont know how Id
got by without im. I cant hardly get out a bed these
days. Anyhow, I dont spect he will ever graduate. He
sure dont seem to care that hes already a grade
behind. He dont do no homework. Dont they give you
homework at that school?
Yes maam, I get plenty of homework, every day, but
Peedee and I dont have the same classes, except for
gym, so I dont know about his homework, I said.
Uhhuh. I never seen a school book with Peedee,
neither. They do use books there, dont they? she
asked, with a twinge of disgust.
Yes maam, we use books. There may be some classes
where the books are only used at school, though,
because I heard they are short on some books for someclasses
Well, its no matter, anyhow. Hes not agoin
nowheres, Willa said. This will be his farm when Sam
and me pass on and I spect hell stay right here and
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keep on plantin them taters. Hes gotta eat, you know.
As long as he has the farm, he'll eat. Do your folks have
crops?We have corn and potatoes, and apple trees in the
orchard, and a winter pear tree in the front yard, and a
cherry tree in the back yard, I said proudly. We dont
have a way to plow the way you do. We dont have any
horse or mule. We only have chickens, and a pet cat.
Peedee had told me that Sam didnt want him to go to
school, but it was the law, and Sam was afraid to break
the law. I liked to talk about school but I could tell that
Willa was getting annoyed with me for talking about it
so much so I stopped and sat down at the kitchen table,
which was actually a picnic table. Willa stopped talking
too.
There were some carrots in a water glass on the table.
Their leafy green tops made them look like a bouquet of
leafy green flowers. Peedee came in and put the carrots,
tops and all, into his pocket and walked back outside,
leaving the door open. I followed.
Ill untie Horse and show you how to lay out the
harness straps, Peedee said. While yer doin that Ill
get Mule from behind Alices trailer.
Alices trailer? I said. Peedee looked at me and
laughed, That old story bout Alice bein a witch isbullshit. She aint no witch. Shes a crazy old woman
who dont bother nobody. I dont talk ta her and she
dont talk ta me. Ma takes her food n stuff. She dont
hurt nobody. I heard that a long time ago she had a man
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livin with er and he got arrested and sent off ta prison.
She aint never been the same since. When I was small I
used ta wonder about her being a witch, but I dont nomore. Its jest plain bullshit
Peedee patiently showed me how to separate the straps
and put them on Horse and Mule. When Peedee came
back he showed me my mistakes and said, "It's plain
that you ain't never drove no twenty mule teams in
death valley." We laughed.
CHAPTER 4 THE TATER FIELD
Peedee slipped the double harness on Horse and Mule.
They shivered when he touched them, and nudged him
until he gave them the carrots they could smell in his
pocket. He lovingly brushed their flanks and necks. Its
the leas we can do to pay em back fer their hard
work, he said. Peedee favored Horse. He believed
giving animals human names demoralized them; made
them feel like slaves. He did not like nick names and he
believed that animals didnt like them either. A horse
wanted to be called Horse. A Mule wanted to be called
Mule. A dog to be called Dog, Peedee said. I, on the
other hand, gave human names to all animals, even
chickens. I named my favorite rooster General Cluck.
It made it hard for me to kill one for the pot.Horse was huge. I couldve walked under her belly and
only mussed my hair a little, but I was afraid to try.
Peedee hooked his fingers together to make a step up
for me and encouraged me to get on Horses back, but I
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pretended to have a foot cramp. Peedee grabbed
Horses mane and pulled himself up onto her back, just
like in the cowboy and Indian movies. Horse shook herhuge head and pranced around the yard. In a few
minutes Peedee got off and told me to hold Horse while
he went to get Mule.
Peedee came with Mule and we walked Horse and Mule
to where he had left the plow, at the farthest corner of
the potato field. Peedee hooked them up and we began
to plow the length of the field. When the row ended
Peedee unhooked Horse and Mule and stepped them
around in a tight circle. We pulled the plow over the
berm, hooked them back up, and started on the next
row. Peedee held the plow handles with both hands and
threw the reins over his shoulder. Horse didnt need any
coaching. Anyone could see that she had done this
before and was pleased to be working. Mule sometimes
got playful and dug in his heels. We prodded him with a
stick, but in vain. Horse would become impatient and
confront Mules bullheadedness by dragging him along
until he conceded defeat and started pulling again. By
noon every muscle in my body ached and I wanted to
quit, but Peedee dived into the work like a person
possessed. I trudged on, doing my best to avoid
showing my pain.In spite of heavy rain the earth fought the old plow.
When Mule stopped I went to his head and hollered in
his ear to go faster. Peedee told me to hold Mules ear
and whisper into it, but I couldnt reach Mules ear
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without jumping up. Peedee said, Mule will work for
you if you are riding him...if he will let you, and if he
likes you.How will I know if he likes me? I asked.
Jes hold onta his ears, not too tight. Youll fin out if
Mule likes ya. The worse that ken happen is hell buck
ya off. Ill be right there ta catch ya, Peedee laughed.
Peedee stood next to Mule and locked his fingers to
make a step for me. I put my left foot into Peedees
hands. Peedee handily lifted me high enough to get my
right leg over Mules back. Mule shivered a tick, then
settled down and turned his head to get a look at me.
Mule brayed gently and Peedee said, Well, damn it.
Look at that! Mule likes ya! Now all ya have to do is give
a little tug on his ear when ya want to tell im somethin.
Mule wont do that fer me. When I get on im I usually
get rolled off. I spect to be pickin you up off the
ground, Peedee laughed.
Maybe youre too heavy, I said, very pleased with
myself.
Maybe, Peedee replied.
An hour later my bum was sore and getting sorer with
each step. Peedee must have seen me squirm. He said,
I think theres a thick blanket in the barn that ya ken
sit on. Lets take a break and Ill git it. I stayed on Mulewhile he looked for the blanket. Mule and I were
becoming good friends.
In a few minutes Peedee returned. The roof leaks
where the blanket is, he said. The blankets soaked. I
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hung it in the house by the stove. Itll take a whole day
ta dry.
Lets go pitch horseshoes, I said.Not taday, Peedee said. Tamorra Ill quit early, fore
it gets hot and we ken pitch horseshoes.
Tomorrow is Sunday. Do you work on Sunday too?
Sure, Peedee said. I know its Sunday, but what day
tis dont matter none.
Ill come over early and help with Mule, I said.
Peedee said, You dont have ta. You were a big help
today, and a big hit with Mule.
I think so too, I said. I want to come tomorrow.
Peedee always said good things about me even though I
was never as helpful as he said. I think he liked to have
somebody to talk to; somebody who doesnt treat him
like hes a dumb farmer.
By noon every muscle in my body was aching and I
desperately wanted to quit, but Peedee was determined
to go on. I stiffened my backbone and shifted my tail
bone. Peedee hollered at Horse and Mule until his voice
began to crack. I didnt think he would ever stop, but he
finally quit about four oclock in the afternoon.
Lets find somethin ta eat, he said. I think we got
peanut butter, and I think some bloney.
Id better go home to eat, I said. My mother willwonder where I have been all day. Ill be back tomorrow
morning.
You dont have ta come tamorra, Peedee said.
I dont mind, I said. Anyway, I want to see Mule, now
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that were good friends.
Peedee laughed and I took off across the field.
CHAPTER 5 WORK
Willa and Alice first met at Ternstedt General Motors in
Flint. Willa had worked her way up to section foreman
and Alice was hired into her section. Several years
Willas junior, Alice was slow witted and constantly
worried about being fired. Something about Alice
complimented Willas personality, and Willa immediately
took an interest. When Willa learned that Alice ran away
from abusive parents, her sympathy deepened and she
gave Alice the easiest job in the section. They quickly
became friends and soon were visiting Elmers on Dort
highway together. Elmers was a bar and dance hall that
remained open every night for swing shift workers.
Factory people went there to let their hair down and
complain about their jobs. After a few drinks everybody
was having a good time. You could tell a foreman from
an assembly line workers by watching who was dancing
and who was sitting. Line workers were too tired to
twist, and those that tried only lasted a few seconds.
Thats where they met Sam and Jack.
A dead battery in the parking lot in front of Elmers
provided an introduction. One night Willa and Alice wereleaving and Willas car failed to start. Both girls were
standing by the car when Sam and Jack drove in. They
had to walk past the girls to enter Elmers.
Battery trouble? Sam said. I got jumper cables. Pop
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your hood and Ill take a peek.
Willa released the hood latch and Sam opened it. Willa
got a flashlight from her car.Its just a cable come loose from the post. Ill get some
pliers and put it back. My names Sam, and my
handsome yakity-yak friend, talking the arms off yer
friend, is Jack. Do you girls work at Ternstedt?
We work in door spring assembly, Willa said.
Jack and Alice stepped forward.
Were on the other side, hauling graphite, Jack said,
Both of you? Alice asked.
Sam and I work together, Jack said. It takes two guys
to wheel barrow that stuff around, one to haul and one
to fill the hoppers. Its too messy a job for just one
guy, he joked. You mustve seen us, but were always
so black from the graphite that you didnt notice. We
just got here and youre already leaving. That aint fair,
especially since I fixed your car. At least come in and
have a drink on us
We should be goin, Willa said, looking at Alice, but
Alice remained silent.
A few more minutes wont hurt, and anyway, maybe
youll have car trouble again, Jack pleaded with a
smile. I might have to fix it again.
They all went into Elmers.The following week Elmers became a regular stop for the
four of them. A week after that Sam moved in with Willa.
Jack was suddenly and unexpectedly fired. When he told
the others they thought he was joking and tried to laugh
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it off, but Jack swore revenge on the foreman who fired
him. Jack said they had a disagreement, but he wouldnt
say what the disagreement was about. Each night atElmers Jack grew angrier. He refused to look for a new
job. They began to wonder if there was a different
reason why Jack was fired. One night Jack didnt show
up at Elmers. When Alice got home, Jack was waiting for
her in the garage. He told her the police were looking
for him because he broke out the headlights on the
foremans car.
Alice phoned Willa and Sam. Willa said she knew where
Jack could hide and never be found. That night they all
drove out to the country to a little farm that Willa
inherited from her grandmother. There was a cottage, a
barn, a house trailer, and a few acres of land on
Carpenter Road. Jack moved into the house trailer. The
following Saturday Willa and Sam moved into the
cottage, where Peedee would be born, and Alice moved
into the trailer with Jack.
They continued to work at Ternstedt until one day the
police came to the factory, looking for Jack. The police
asked to speak with Jacks friends. The police said Jack
was wanted for burglary in two other states, as well as
in Flint and Detroit. Jack had lied to them. If it had only
been busted head lights, as Jack claimed, he would havesimply paid a fine and the repair costs and that would
have been the end of it. The police said the charge
about broken head lights did not exist,. They told the
police where Jack was and he was arrested that day
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before the others got home. When Alice inquired a week
later she was told that Jack was extradited to New
Mexico, where he was wanted for armed robbery. Soonafter, Sam, Willa, and Alice were laid off. They were told
it was because of cutbacks, but they knew it was
because of their association with Jack. There was no
recourse in those days. If management wanted you
gone, you were gone.
At first they tried to find employment in other factories.
They applied at Buick and Fisher Body, but they were
never called. Somebody had to find another way to earn
a living. None of them had any debt to speak of and the
farm was free and clear to Willa. The feeling was she
shouldnt have to work, since she owned the place. Sam
or Alice would have to find a job. Alice was not strong
and had been leaning on Willa for a long time so it was
up to Sam. Sam decided to grow potatoes for money.
The land was free and the cuttings were cheap enough
from the farmers market, and potatoes were a favored
crop around Flint. There was an old horse-drawn plow in
the barn and a neighboring farmer was changing to
tractor power and would sell his mule at a bargain price.
Sam bought the mule, but the mule refused to pull the
plow. Sam was told by a different farmer that a
stubborn mule would work if coupled with a good horsethat was accustomed to pulling. They all pooled their
money and bought a strong, experienced, young mare.
The trick worked and the mare broke in the mule to
plowing, but Sam was not a good farmer and the first
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year was hard and unprofitable. The potato crop wasnt
big enough to provide any income to speak of. The only
other work Sam could find was cleaning septic tanks.However, that paid well because nobody else wanted to
do it. Sam drove around the countryside contracting
with farmers for cleaning jobs. He mounted a holding
tank on the back of his pickup truck and bought a
battery powered electric pump to fill and drain the tank.
It was not a pleasant way to make a living, but it was
honest and turned out to be profitable. Soon they were
all benefiting from Sams labor. Sam abandoned the
potato field. The next time it would be plowed would be
by his son, Peedee. Peedee was born the same year that
Sam failed at potato farming and started in the septic
cleaning business. By the time Peedee was six years old
Sam had earned a wide reputation for fairness and hard
work. Their financial problems had substantially
diminished but Sam was concerned about the future so
he decided to restart the potato field. He gave the field
to Peedee and showed him how to harness Horse and
Mule and how to hook up the plow. Peedee was big for
the tender age of six and he took to farming like a duck
to water. He didnt need any encouragement. He loved
the animals and they loved him. He marveled at the way
the soil turned so cleanly under the plow. He patientlyplanted the potato cuttings after the plowing was done,
and nursed them along, pulling the weeds almost before
they appeared. Peedee was happy in the field working
with Horse and Mule and his potatoes. When Peedee
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was nine years old their financial problems had
dissolved but Sam started coming home drunk. As more
people learned what Sam did for a living he and Willawere given a wide berth in restaurants and bars where
they had been cheerfully welcomed before. He lied
about his work if he met somebody new or an old friend
from the factory. Willa started staying sick for longer
stretches. She refused to consider seeing a doctor, but
eventually, when Sam made her to go, the doctor
wanted to immediately admit her to the hospital for
more tests. She refused to stay and went home with a
supply of medicine and an appointment scheduled for
three months later, but she never kept it.
CHAPTER 6 GETTING TO KNOW YOU
Peedee and I first met because of a bully who stole my
lunch and played keep-away with it when we were in the
ninth grade. The bully laughed at me and called me that
weird boy who plays the flute. Boys usually play the
trumpet, or some other brass instrument, but when my
father was alive he sometimes played the flute in the
Flint Symphony orchestra. My father died when I was
too young to know him well, and choosing the flute was
my personal way of honoring him. Peedee happened to
walk by when the bully was teasing me about the flute,tossing my lunch bag back and forth to his friend.
Peedee interrupted the game and caught my lunch in
the air. At first I thought Peedee was going to continue
humiliating me, but instead he handed me my lunch bag,
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defying the bully. In that glorious moment Peedee
earned my loyalty and respect forever. Nobody had ever
stood up for me like that before. I never expected to bedefended by someone I didnt even know, let alone
someone dark skinned like Peedee. Some would say he
was a Negro, but he wasnt exactly black. He was a color
between butterscotch and a chocolate milkshake. He
didnt have nappy hair like the other Negro kids at
school. Except for his different skin color he had the
look of any other healthy boy. I decided he was from a
different place, perhaps one of those native islands we
read about in geography. He was taller and stronger
than the other boys. He had a big behind and a big
stomach and some might say he was roly-poly behind
his back, but not to his face. He moved like a skinny
person.
Thanks for standing up to that boy. Hes jealous and
picks on me whenever he can, I said. My name is Josh.
Whats yours?
Peedee, he said.
My mother always packs enough lunch for an army, I
said. I noticed that you didnt bring a lunch. I have
plenty for both of us.
Do ya have any peanut butter? Love peanut butter,
Peedee said.Yes, I do, I said. I have one baloney sandwich and
one peanut butter and jelly.
We found a quiet spot under a shade tree on the school
lawn. I gave Peedee the peanut butter and jelly. In a few
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minutes we figured out that our houses were separated
only by my apple orchard. We took the same school bus
and got off at the same corner, but until that day wehad never spoken to one another. Peedee got off at the
corner of Carpenter and Center roads and walked a
quarter of a mile down Carpenter Road. I lived a quarter
of a mile down Center Road. A line from my backyard to
his backyard would form the bottom of a triangle, with
Carpenter and Center roads as its sides. To get to
Peedees house I only needed to walk through my
orchard, along the bottom of the triangle.
The day we met we got off the school bus together and I
walked to Peedees house. When I saw his tiny house I
was so sad for him. It was only a little cottage, set on a
sandy plot of ground grown over with crab grass and
sand burrs, which clung by the dozens to the bottom of
my pants. His cottage could fit into the bottom floor of
my house with enough space left over for a second
cottage. It was no bigger than our pig pen. Peedee
showed me his horse and mule in the barn. The ground
next to the barn was perfect for a horseshoe pit,
something I wished my house had.
I said, I got a horseshoe set for my birthday, but I
never built a pit because there isnt any sand around my
house, and a horseshoe pit needs sand so the shoes willslide. Youve got plenty of sand. This would be a perfect
spot.
Bring it Saturday, Peedee said. Ill smooth out a spot
fer it.
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We parted and I walked kitty-corner through the orchard
to my house. I looked forward to using the new
horseshoe pit.I told my mother about Peedee and asked her to pack an
extra milk and desert in my lunch. Judging by the way
Peedee gulped down the peanut butter sandwich I gave
him he probably doesnt take a lunch, I said. I knew my
mother would never allow anybody to go without lunch,
if she could help it.
The following Saturday morning I took the horseshoe kit
to Peedees. I stepped off the thirty-four foot distance
between the pits and the additional three feet to the
stake on both ends, and pounded in the stakes with the
five pound sledge I carried from home. Then we
practiced, laughing at our awkwardness. We made our
own rules: five points for a ringer, three points for a
leaner, and two points for a shoe that falls two fingers
or less from the stake. We played until it was too dark
to see.
We rode the school bus together all week. I met
Peedees mother, Willa, the following Saturday. She was
washing clothes on a washboard in the front yard. She
looked sick, hollow cheeked and somber. I asked Peedee
about her.
Theres somethin wrong but we cant afford nodoctor, he said. I think Sams job has somethin to do
by it. Sam empties all them septic tanks, and hes
around chemicals. They get in his clothes and Willa
washes em, so shes around em too.
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What are the chemicals for? I asked.
He puts em in the tanks, Peedee said. They make
everything inta water. Then he pumps it into the tank onhis pickup. He tol me hes his own boss and its worth
it. In the factory he could never do nothin less a boss
was looking over his shoulder.
I said, My father worked at the Fisher-Body plant in
Flint until the factory shut down over a sit-down strike
and he left, I said. He didnt get another job until he
got hired by the WPA, building roads. My father told me
that President Roosevelt put everybody back to work
doing anything so the people could eat and the country
could get back on its feet. When my dad got sick we had
no money for doctors, either. We took him to Hurley
hospital in Flint and he died. Then my mother married
Thor, who was living with us and was my fathers best
friend. Then we moved to Center road. Thor fixes cars at
the Phillip Thomas car repair in Flint. Thor is a really
good metal bumper. We can go there some time and see
him.
I dont know nothin bout cars, Peedee said. I like
animals, specially horses. When I get out a high school
Woodcroft Stables will hire me to care fer their horses,
Peedee said. Sam sez hes got friends there.
CHAPTER 7 OUR HIDEAWAYS
Instead of plowing on Sunday we went into the woods
behind Peedees cottage. He took a rusty bolo knife and
a saw from the barn.
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Last year I started makin a hidin place out here,
Peedee said, fer when I want to get out a the house.
Sometimes Sam has too many and comes home realdrunk, Peedee said, reflectively.
What is he like when hes drunk? I asked. Some
drunks are mean and others are happy or sad. After
Thor drinks three or four beers he goes to sleep.
Peedee said, I only saw Sam mean drunk one time, but
that was anuff. He pushed Willa so hard she falled
against the kitchen stove when it was red hot. I wanted
to kill im. I was so mad I swung at im, but he jest
turned and left. He didnt even tell er he was sorry! If
Sam ever really hurt Willa, I would kill him too. I told im
that once, and I know where theres a gun hid. Willa
thinks nobody knows, but I know.
We walked further into the woods, flicking the branches
from our faces. I looked back, but I couldnt see the
cottage anymore. Peedee stopped at a tall patch of thick
scrub brush and started pulling it apart.
This is it, Peedee said. Help me make a place ta sit in
this clump. Thisll be our meetin place. If Im here when
you come over Ill make up a sign. Ill pile up some rocks
up by the horseshoes. Ill show ya later on. We talked
very little between choruses of exertion from pulling,
cutting, and sawing. We cut a round open space in thecenter of the tough overgrowth. We covered it with
leaves and branches cut from the surrounding area. We
made a moveable door and disguised it with leafy
branches laced together with strips of bark. We
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congratulated ourselves. When we left we decided that
if we didnt know where it was we could not have found
it. Peedee went back to the cottage to get a blanket tosit on and a rake to smooth the ground. He took off his
tee-shirt. I saw new welts on his back that, I figured,
were put there by Sams belt. I understood why Peedee
wanted a secret place to hide in. We sat down on the
blanket and lit up lucky strike cigarettes and inhaled
contentedly until they burned down. Peedee showed me
a snapshot of Willa, standing next to Alice in the
Ternstedt employees parking lot. I had a wallet insert,
filled with pictures of my mother and Thor, and one
precious snapshot of my father, taken in the 1930s. He
was dressed in a business suit and wore a New York
style felt hat. He died at Hurley Hospital from lung
disease from being gassed in the World War. He was
only forty years old. The day he died the school principal
came to my classroom to tell me I was wanted at home. I
was afraid of what it was about and I ran past each city
block, in what later seemed like a single leap, until I
reached our tenement building and got into a waiting
taxi with my mother and brother. At the hospital we
were told my father died that morning while the nurse
was bathing him. I had seen him just two days before,
but I could not talk to him because he was asleep andhad an oxygen tent covering his head. A few weeks
after the funeral my mother married Thor, my fathers
best friend and our long time boarder. Marriage in those
days was often not about love. It was about putting food
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on the table and paying bills.
Our corncrib is a good hideaway I said. Nobody goes
there, except me. Thats where I keep my comic booksand cigarettes. Our corncrib was shaped just like the
letter A. The sides were built up with one-by-fours the
length of the building from the ground to the ridge at
the top, each one-by-four was separated from the next
one by a crack wide enough for my fingers and toes to
fit into. I climbed to the loft on the inside using the
cracks like the rungs of a ladder. I took an old discarded
blanket from the house to put over the spaces between
the slats, and I found some burlap bags to hang across
the ends, enclosing the space into a private room.
Monday after school we got off the bus together and
went to my corncrib.
Itll be nice up here in the winter, Peedee said.
Would it be okay for me to come here by myself,
sometimes, if I need a place, you know, in an
emergency? Sam ken go hog-wild when hes goodn
drunk. He wouldnt think to come fer me over here.
Sure you can, I said. Any time you want. There was
a broken broom handle on the floor next to me. If you
come up here when Im not around take this stick and
shove it between the slats, and when I see it sticking
out Ill know youre up here.
CHAPTER 8 WINTER STARTS
Thanksgiving was a week away and my mother and Thor
took Thanksgiving very seriously. It was their way of
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celebrating their American citizenship. Thor came from
Stockholm, Sweden and my mother from Bukovina, a
small province in northern Romania, by way of EllisIsland. On Thanksgiving my mother wasnt allowed to
cook for us. Thor always took us a few miles north of
Flint, to Frankenmuth, a little town famous for beer and
European dinner houses. I could order anything I wanted
and there was plenty of ice cream and cake and Danish
for desert. I wanted to share Thanksgiving with Peedee,
but my mother said it wasnt a good idea, even if he had
permission.
I know you worry about your friend, she said, and
from what you said about Sams drinking, Peedee might
not have a good Thanksgiving, but you would still be
taking him away from his mother on a family holiday.
You dont know how she might feel about that, even if
she agreed to let him go. It just wouldnt be right. You
already told me she is sick a lot. But, we can still do
something nice for Peedee and his mother, and Sam too.
I can cook a big meal for them of fried chicken and
cranberry sauce, potatoes and gravy, and bake a pie and
a couple of loaves of that good smelling bread that you
like so much!
Peedee would think its charity and he would never
accept it, I said.They dont have to know where it came from, she
argued. We can do it like the Salvation Army does.
Nobody complains about that. You just leave it on the
porch at night, when they are all asleep. When they
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wake up in the morning they will find it outside the
door. A lot of people get food boxes for Thanksgiving.
We dont have to tell them its from us. Peedee willnever know, unless we tell him. Believe me, they will
keep the food. People dont throw good food away in
this day and age.
My mother was so enthusiastic about the plan that I
decided, Okay. Lets do to! I just wont say who its
from. I could tell Peedee about it some time in the
future, if I wanted to.
Well, my mother said, Thanksgiving is next Thursday
and, of course, were , going to Frankenmuth again. For
Peedees family you will have to kill a chicken, pluck it,
and clean it. I will stuff it, cook it, and make some
trimmings. Today is Monday so we have three days to
get everything ready. We will finish it all on Wednesday.
You can do the chicken today. I will bake and cook
tomorrow and Wednesday. Wednesday night you can
take everything and put it on Peedees porch.
My mother was so excited about doing this that I
couldnt tell her that Peedee didnt have a porch, so I
thought I would set the tray down just outside their
door, instead.
We had our first heavy snow Wednesday and because of
the wet ground I decided to hand Peedee the tray at hisdoor Thursday morning, before we left for Frankenmuth,
instead of Wednesday. My mother dictated a note for
me to stick on top, Remove pie and cranberry sauce
and keep bread, turkey, dressing, gravy, and potatoes
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warm in oven until eaten. I squeezed in the word
Please just before Remove.
When Peedee came to the door early Thursday morning Icrowed, Im going to Frankenmuth today with my
family for Thanksgiving, but Ill be over tomorrow, I
turned left him standing there in the snow with his
mouth hanging open, in his bare feet, holding the warm
tray. I wanted it to be a genuine surprise, and I believe
it was.
On the way to Frankenmuth I told my mother what I did ,
and that I knew I confused him but I was glad I didnt lie
to him about where the food came from. I decided that
the best solution to a dilemma is the one that pops up in
the last minute, leaving no space for exaggeration or
lies.
There was enough snow now for boots and sleds. Mr.
Heeburt gave me an old pair of cross country skis and
poles. Peedee and I tried to ski but we couldnt stand up
on them and use the poles at the same time without
shrieking with laughter. Peedee preferred the rose-bud
brand belly-flop sled that a farmer traded Sam in
payment for a septic tank cleaning. We took the skis
and sled to the pig farm at the corner of Center and
Carpenter roads with the razor back slopes. The Flint
River ran through the pig farm and church groups wentthere to be baptized in summer. In winter the slopes
were thick with snow. The longest and steepest slope
stopped at the river. I barely managed the cross country
skis on a flat field, but for some beef-witted reason I
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thought it would be easier to ski on a slope. Peedee
greased his sled runners and I greased my skis with
candle wax and we headed down a long slope, side byside. At the bottom Peedee stopped his sled by
dragging his hands and feet but my ski poles were
useless as brakes and my feet were locked to my skis. I
went past the bottom of the slope, over the edge, and
instantly dropped flat into the river! Miraculously, I
landed standing up, knee deep in icy water, skis intact
and extended, just like I was still on the slope! I looked
back and saw Peedee, doubled over with laughter. If it
wasnt for my freezing feet and legs I would have
laughed too. We walked to Peedees cottage where I
dried my clothes in front of his pot belly stove.
CHAPTER 9 STAYING AWAY
A week before Christmas Sam came to our house.
Im Peedees father. My house is over there, through
your orchard, He told my mother. He was plainly drunk.
Have ya seen my boy, Peedee? Hes friendly with yer
boy. I need him now cause he aint done none a his
chores today. He made a vain effort to disguise his
intoxication by holding himself tight to the porch railing
with his left hand. Ill whip his hide real good when I
ketch im, he said, gesturing a switching movementwith his right arm.
Why, no, I havent seen him, my mother said. You
know, dear, she said to Thor, who hurried to the door
upon hearing Sams slurred speech, hes that friend of
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Joshs who lives on Carpenter road.
We havent seen him today, but well telephone you if
we see him? my mother said. We can ask Josh. Nowwhere is that Josh? she snapped.
I seen Josh. He vas going upstairs, Thor said.
Ill find Peedee, you kin bet on it, Sam said. I dont
have no phone, nohow. He walked back to the road,
cursing.
If I find out anything Ill send Josh over to your...... my
mother said, but he was gone before she could finish her
sentence. From my bedroom window I saw Sam walk
back to his truck. I thought Peedee might be hiding in
the corncrib and I was afraid Sam would look there. I ran
to my back window from where I could see the corncrib.
I saw a spear of blanket pushed out through one of the
slats where the loft was. It was Peedee. I ran downstairs
and I saw Sam leave his truck and walk back into our
yard toward the pig pen. My father walked out to meet
him. Whatever my father said must have discouraged
Sam because he went back to his truck, got in, and
drove away. I went outside and walked toward the
corncrib, but before I got there I saw Sam walking back
up the road toward our house. Apparently he wasnt
satisfied and he was coming back to have another look. I
passed the corncrib and met Sam on the road.I saw Peedee running toward your house a few minutes
ago! I shouted. Right after you left! He ran through
the orchard! Hes probably home by now!
He better run, Sam shouted back. When I ketch im
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Ill teach im runnin! Sam walked back toward his truck
again. When I was certain Sam had left I went up to the
loft in the corncrib where I found Peedee slumped downin a corner, lighting up one of my cigarettes. I didnt see
Sam any more that day.
CHAPTER 10 THINGS SETTLE DOWN AGAIN
My job at home was to feed the chickens, gather eggs,
hoe weeds, plant and pick corn, tomatoes, green beans,
and dig potatoes. I started planting in spring, as soon as
the ground thawed. Occasionally my mother would want
a chicken for the pot. That, too, was my job. Bringing
the axe down on a chickens stretched neck and
watching it flail around while it bled to death ruined my
day, my next day, and my day after that. At an early age
I concluded that every creature that is conscious has a
soul, and deserves to live out its life without feeling the
sharp edge of an ax, or any other life canceling terror. It
was over for Chicken, but I was stuck with a guilty
conscious and several nights of bad dreams. It seemed
that hunting and killing animals was what real men were
supposed to do in Michigan. Michigan is for hunters;
deer, bear, elk, wolf, coyote, rabbit, fox, some say even
mink and panther, not to mention the birds, like
pheasant, grouse, turkey, duck, and quail. I havepossibly missed some. Thor owned a double barreled
twelve gauge shotgun that I learned to shoot when I was
thirteen years old. Thor showed me how to insert the
cartridges, aim the gun, and squeeze the trigger. It was
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promised to be back to get us. We didnt have any
confidence in Sams promises but figured we could hitch
a ride back if we had to.The first movie had started and we no sooner found our
seats when someone shouted, Go Kearsley! Someone
else answered with, Go Tanner! Tanner was just an
elementary school that fed into Kearsley, but that didnt
matter to the kids, it was something to shout about. We
joined in. We cheered for both schools. Then someone
else shouted, Hurray Beecher. There was no response;
complete silence, in a theater full of wild kids. Then
everybody giggled simultaneously, followed with a
mocking ha ha ha, three times, by everybody in
unison. It was weird and energizing at the same time. I
had heard radio reports about Hitlers hypnotic rallies.
Thats what it sounded like. The only thing missing was
the Zig Heil.
The first feature was Abbot and Costello Meet
Frankenstein, which brought the house down, followed
by an ad to get us to buy popcorn and candy. The
second film featured the Three Stooges. Then a Batman
serial, followed by a preview of coming attractions, and
finally a March of Time film about the war in Europe.
Everybody whistled and cheered for the Allies and
booed the Nazis. We stayed until after the beginning ofthe next showing before we gave up our seats.
After waiting in front of the theater for forty-five
minutes, and not seeing anyone we knew to beg a ride
from, we decided to walk. We counted fence posts. The
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one who saw the tallest fence post first got a point. We
sometimes disagreed over exactly what a fence post
was and its exact height. When that happened we wentover and measured it against Peedees body, since he
was the tallest, sometimes arguing over a jutting
splinter of wood on the top of the post. We raced up and
down the road and took side trips into the fields. We
took a short cut through the woods and came to a road
we didnt recognize, and asked a man chopping on a
tree where Center Road was. He said we missed it by
four miles. He said we were closer to Kearsley High
School than to either Center or Carpenter Roads. We
knew where Kearsley was in the local geography so we
started walking in the opposite direction, toward our
houses, and after a while we recognized the route the
school bus traveled. We put our thumbs out and
immediately got a ride in the bed of a pickup truck.
You boys should be home after dark. If you were my
boys youd be home, safe and sound, the driver
shouted at us. We said we got lost walking home from
the Beecher movie theater. He shook his head in
wonder, and took us right up to my driveway. My
mother wasnt home. Sometimes she went across the
road to visit the Emmets. We climbed up to the corncrib
loft and took off our shoes, stretched out, and fellasleep. When Peedee woke up he started talking about
Sam.
Lotsa times I hafta get Sam home from the bar. He
said. Willa makes me ride Horse to the bar and git Sam
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home fer supper, Peedee said. Theres a bar at the
end a Pierson Road, next to the groshry. The bartender
is a old friend a Sams from the factry. Sam goes nutswhen hes bad drunk and that bartender knows jest how
ta handle im. I was there to get Sam one time when
Sam argued with a man sittin a few stools down bout
who was the bes Mayor a Flint. Sam said Karpinski. The
other man said Ballard. Sams face got real red. The
bartender told the other man to jest agree with Sam or
shut up. The man said no ta that. He kep on arguin and
looked crooked at Sam. Sam walked down and hit the
man in the face; knocked im clean off his stool. The
bartender went to call the police. Sam left in a hurry.
He didnt wanna mess with no police. When I got home
Sam said fer me ta tell the police the other man started
it. I said okay cause I dont want Sam mad at me. I was
lucky I was never asked.
CHAPTER 12 A GOOD DAY THAT TURNED BAD
I had a knack for making ringers with the end-over-end
horseshoe throw. I threw palm up. Peedee held the shoe
flat, like you hold a rock close to the body, and flip it
with the wrist, to skip it across a pond. That way the
shoe is supposed to twist and hook the post, instead of
flopping onto the post, open end first. I tried it, butcouldnt do the twist and hook method. My way didnt
always work, but once I found the range I made a ringer
nearly every time.
One evening, just before dark when I had that magic
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touch and Peedee was struggling to keep up with me
with his twist and hook throw, Sam came up behind
Peedee, hollering and cursing for no reason I could see.Peedee was concentrating on the game and didnt see
Sam come up behind him. Peedee was imitating my
method of throwing and he swung his arm up and around
backwards, several times, comically, like a softball
pitcher winding up, and Sam walked right into his
roundhouse swing on its way down. The steel horseshoe,
when it came down, dug into the side of Sams head.
Sam yelped and blood poured from his left ear. Sam
grabbed Peedees arms from behind and shook him
savagely, like you would shake a small tree to uproot it,
then he threw Peedee hard against the barn. Sam was
bad drunk. He let go a flood of swear words against
Peedee. Peedee dropped to his knees and covered his
head with his arms. Sam grabbed a horseshoe in each
hand and started beating on Peedees head and back,
wherever he could find an opening. Peedee howled and
finally slumped sideways against the barn and didnt
move. Willa must have heard the uproar and was
screaming at Sam from the cottage door. I ran toward
Willa.
She was standing in the doorway, holding a pistol in her
hand. She slid the gun into my hand, like you would abaton in a relay race. I stood there, praying something
would stop Sam before he got to me, but that was not to
be. He came on, his head and shirt smeared with blood
and his face twisted in pain until he was only a dozen feet
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away, the horseshoes held up high, ready to bring them
down on me. I pointed the gun up in the air and fired. The
explosion didnt derail him in the least. When he waswithin arms length, and about to bring the horseshoes
down on my head, I pointed the gun directly at his chest
expecting him to stop his advance when he saw the gun
in my hand, and then, suddenly, he fell backwards like a
slab of stone. I dont remember hearing the gun go off,
but I did feel my hand jerk. I looked down and there was
Sam, flat on his back as though struck by lightning, face
up, staring, but not looking at anything. My first thought
was that I had never seen Sam so speechless before.
Willa calmly picked up Sams wrist, felt for a pulse, and
then let it drop to the ground. She pealed my fingers
away from the gun, and took it. I marveled at Willas
sense of command; her self control. Instead of being
shocked she seemed most interested in getting the mess
in her yard cleaned up! She walked quickly toward Alices
trailer and saw Peedee, who could not have seen us from
his position by the barn.
She shouted, Peedee. Git up! Git out inta the woods!
You have ta hide! The po-lice are comin. You dont wanna
be layin there when they git here. Peedee rose up and
staggered toward the woods. I knew exactly were he was
going.Willa went to Alices trailer. She pushed herself inside
and came out with Alice in tow, rubbing her eyes and
clutching the front of her tattered robe. Without a word
Willa walked Alice over to Sams body. Standing a head
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taller than Alice she said, You shot im! Then she
forced the gun into Alices hand and held it there.
Alice, you shot Sam! You shot Sam! Say it! Say it! Willacommanded.
I guess.I shot Sam. Alice meekly obeyed, just as Im
sure she obeyed when Willa was her boss in the factory,
No, Willa said, You dont guess you shot Sam. You
knowedyou shot Sam. It was a brave thing you done. I
seen it, Willa said. Look at yer hand. Yer holdin the
gun. Willa looked down at Alices hand. Alices eyes
followed Willas down to the gun. You went crazy and
you shot im! It was a accident. Sam was wantin to have
his way with you agin, jus like you toll me he did before,
but this time you shot im instead, jus like you said you
would do. I would ave done the same. He deserved it.
Yes, I shot im. He was gonna do it agin! I knowed it. He
was gonna do it! Alice said.
He raped ya! Willa said. Say he raped ya to the po-
lice! Willa kept after Alice.. Did ya shoot Sam? Willa
said with great passion.
Yes! Yes! I shot im! Alice said with equal passion.
Why? Why did you shoot im? Willa said.
Cause he rape me! Alice echoed with full conviction,
eyes popped open and head nodding up and down like a
puppets head tied to a string.He was a evil man. Im glad I shot im.
Twas a brave thing you done. You shot a evil man for
doin a evil thing, Willa said.
Turning to me, Willa said, Run to yer house and call the
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po-lice. Tell em you seed Alice shoot Sam. Be sure to say
Alice shot Sam. No more than that. Dont tell nothin
bout Peedee. Peedee warnt here taday. You understan?Peedee warnt here taday.
I flew across the creek, charged through the orchard,
pushed the kitchen door open and breathlessly squealed.
Alice shot Peedees father!
What? What did you say? my mother said.
Sam was beating on Peedee, was the only thing I could
think of. My mouth was so dry and my throat so tight I
could barely get the words out. Alice shot and killed
him, I said. Peedees mother said to call the police.
They dont have a phone. I was crying from the
excitement and my voice was cracking. My mother told
me to sit down and compose myself.
Now, who was killed? Who shot who? Who is Alice? she
said in rapid order. We have to call the police, I said.
I dont understand, she said. Calm down and tell me
exactly what happened. If Im going to call the police I
want to know why!
I took a deep breath, exhaled slowly, and forced myself to
relax a bit and finally said in a measured voice, Alice is
the woman who lives in the trailer next to Peedees
cottage. She shot and killed Sam, Peedees father, with a
gun. My mother was as still as a statue.Are you sure you know what you are saying? she finally
said.
Yes, I am sure. We have to call the police!
Okay, okay, she said. Why? Why did Alice shoot him?
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that I had seen in a science magazine, and how I planned
to run the string from my window to Peedees barn.
Peedee said it was very silly idea and would never workbecause the string wouldnt stay tight, like a wire would.
It was time for Thor to come home from work. I left
Peedee in my room and went downstairs.
Ill tell Thor what happened, my mother said. You and
Peedee get washed up for supper.
When he first came to America Thor worked on a ranch in
North Dakota. Thor and my father slept in the same
bunkhouse. My father went to North Dakota to find work
when he was discharged from the Army. After many harsh
winters they left to find jobs in the Michigan auto industry
that were advertised on the radio. Flint was the first train
stop, and it bustled with factories. My father got a job at
the new Fisher Body plant at the south end of Flint. Thor
was worried about being chastised for his European
accent in a big factory so soon after the war and sought
out a job in a Swedish owned repair garage as a metal
bumper, something he knew about from being a
blacksmith in Oslo.
She walked outside to meet him. Thor stopped short of his
usual spot. He was not in the habit of being greeted
outside. Thor and my mother talked for a long time.
When they finally came inside, Thor was flashing his usualfriendly Swedish smile. He was naturally good natured.
He said, I smell cherry pie and bread. I hope you made
much of it. I am hungry to eat a whole one. He laughed.
Thors open laugh and wide smile was what people
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nodded, turning up a corner of his mouth into a smile.
Thor insisted on telling the police that Peedee would be
staying with us, in case they wanted to have someonecome out to see him, which never happened and was
forgotten about in a few days. There was not even a
telephone inquiry. However, the story was in the
newspaper the next day, except for any of our names. It
was illegal to print the names or addresses of minors in
the newspaper, in connection with a crime. Alice was sent
to the state mental hospital, as I had predicted, and Willa
was finally admitted to the hospital and then moved to a
nursing home because there was no one to care for her at
her cottage. Horse and Mule stayed in the barn and
Peedee and I walked over every day to feed and water
them.
Now Peedee had a nice place to stay and lots of time to
study. I wanted him to be comfortable. I wanted to
unchain him from that potato field. I wanted him to win at
everything from board games to foot races. We both
volunteered for the football team. I was the team center
previous year. I taught Peedee everything I knew. That
year at the football tryouts I knew exactly what mistakes
to make that would keep me off the team, and Peedee
knew all the plays, strategy, and routine, and was easily
picked to be the new center. The coach looked askance atme, but it was done and couldnt be changed. I introduced
Peedee to every girl I knew and I crowed over his size,
strength, and athletic ability. Thor asked him to come
with us to Tuesday night bowling. Bowling was the only
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thing Thor and I did together just for fun. Peedee once
told me that rolling a ball down an alley to knock over
some bottles was silly, and not even a sport.Nevertheless he grudgingly agreed to come to bowling,
saying, Cause I live here, I owe you that much. Thor
asked me to show Peedee the basics. Teaching Peedee
how to bowl was a challenge, in view of his contempt the
game. I was a fair bowler for my age and had a small nine
pin handicap. I suggested that Peedee, as a beginner,
should have at least twice that, because he was new. The
bowling committee accepted the suggestion, and within a
month Peedee had greatly improved and was asking for
his own ball and shoes, which Thor immediately provided
for him with a great flourish and fatherly words of
encouragement. I could see that Peedees personality was
more akin to Thors than mine. Peedee filled certain gaps
in our familys fabric that I had been unable to fill. Peedee
had manner that, I could see, Thor found agreement with.
I recognized that my family position had quietly changed
from third to fourth in the hierarchy.
A few days later I was gathering eggs in our chicken coop
when Thor said, out of the blue, The league is looking for
handicaps and you vill be no more. They tink youre good
now to be, ah, how I say, on your own. I pivoted on a
dime and the hen pecked my hand. It is favor, Thorsaid. That meant Peedees score could actually equal
mine, or even be better than mine!
Will Peedee lose his handicap too? I asked.
No, he stays, Thor said.
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But, Peedee is doing much better now! He averages
almost 160. He even bowled a 200 game last week! I was
angry.You know that vas yust a fluke. Thor said. You know,
his fadder vas murder; his mudder has cancer. Ve dont
vant it make be vurst. It has been one bad year for poor
Peedee.
I know, I said respectfully, but indignantly. Ive been
helping him win at everything I can, for Petes sake, I
was pleading, as long has hes been living with us! As
soon as I said it, I realized I sounded pathetic. I was
helping Peedee in every way I could, but I resented his
popularity, his strength, and especially his influence and
the respect he received from Thor and my mother. Now I
even resented the grief Peedee displayed over Sams
death. Sam beat him and overworked him every day of his
life! Why should he grieve for Sam? Peedee should be
thanking me! I took all the risk. Peedee isnt being beaten
or humiliated anymore. Hes not working behind Mule and
Horse anymore. If it wasnt for me his mother wouldnt be
getting her medical help. Even poor sick Alice is better off
in the state hospital than she was in that trailer! I
stopped all that when I killed Sam. But, of course, Peedee
doesnt know It was me, not Alice, who killed Sam. When
Willa dies I will be the only one who knows the true story.Sometimes I wondered if I should tell Peedee. He would
appreciate me more if he knew. Something told me that
wouldnt be a good idea. I couldnt take it back if it turned
out to be a mistake.
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CHAPTER 13 MOVING ON
I remained in Peedees shadow until I graduated fromKearsley and left for Eastern Michigan College. Peedee
said he would quit high school when I left and move back
to the cottage. I am sure he was anxious to do that. He
never really settled into school, in spite of his improved
circumstances.
I went home on holidays, and kept in touch with my
mother by telephone between visits. In my sophomore
year at Eastern my mother wrote me that Willa had died
in hospice, and Peedee took a woman and her young son
into the cottage with him. A few weeks later she told me
the woman left, leaving the boy behind with Peedee.
My sophomore year I was busy studying and working
evenings at Madisons china shop in town, where I
packed, wrapped, and shipped goblets and china plates.
On my last home visit I noticed that the chicken feed bin
was nearly empty, and many nests didnt have a sitting
hen. Thors work hours were reduced, cutting his pay by a
almost a third. My mother wasnt baking and canning as
much. I was gone and Thor worked all day. There was
nobody home to help her with the work; nobody to pick
apples or cherries, dig potatoes, winter pears, or do the
odd jobs. My mother told me Thor was discouraged andhad started to drink on the way home from work. He
never did that before. She said they were arguing about
little unimportant things, like leaving dirty dishes in the
sink, or forgetting to gather the eggs from the coop. My
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mother said it was only because Thors work was slow. I
had one more year of college to get my teaching
credential, and then I could help. When I was home againeverything would go back to normal, she said. Adding to
the disintegration, the bowling league had disbanded and
there had been a tornado in Beecher Township,
destroying our old movie theater and half the town of
Beecher.
One day I was eating lunch in the student lounge when I
saw the words, GHOST OR WITCH? emblazoned across
the cover of a gossip magazine someone had abandoned
on the next table. The words didnt impress me as unusual
for a gossip magazine but I was struck dumb by a picture
of Alice standing next to her trailer. The picture was
fuzzy, but it was definitely Alice, wearing blue jeans. The
article was basically accurate: the fight in the yard, the
horseshoes attack, the shooting, and Alices confession.
Still, there was something wrong with the picture, but I
couldnt put my finger on it. I scoured the rest of the
magazine and there werent any more pictures or words
about the headline. The article said Alice, according to
some, was a witch. It read, ...a malevolent man who was
alleged to have engaged in devious sexual acts was
murdered there by Alice... and the new owner, the mans
son, is tearing down the buildings to purge away theghosts. I put the magazine in my binder. That night in my
apartment, staring at the picture, I realized it was a
picture of the side of the barn where our horseshoe pit
was located, but the pit was nowhere to be seen! The
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explanation came to me the next morning: A long time ago
Peedee had a snapshot of Alice and Willa, taken in the
parking lot when they worked together in the factory. Isaw it when we shared wallet pictures in my corncrib. In
the snapshot Alice had on blue jeans. When she lived in
the trailer she always wore her house robe! I never saw
the blue jeans. Peedee and I had talked about how she
never wore anything but that old robe. Obviously, the
magazine reporter had found that old parking lot picture,
and merged it in with a recent picture of the barn without
the horseshoe pit! I wanted to call the magazine and tell
them the picture was phony, but I knew that would be a
big mistake. I would just make myself a target. I worried
that the magazine might come looking for me until I
remembered the police report had never associated my
family with the incident. After a few weeks, when nothing
further happened, I dismissed the magazine article and
picture from my mind. Nevertheless, I still remained
careful with my words. I didnt forget that I had killed
Sam, and had gotten away with it so. Every year I itched
to invite Peedee to my college open house, but I couldnt
risk what he might say to my friends, and open up
questions that I didnt want to be asked about Peedee.
Sometimes I wondered if I actually had a predilection for
violent crime. I had used a gun as a weapon, and Sam onlyhad horseshoes. Its true, the gun wasnt my idea, but I
pulled the trigger, twice, and killed a man. I have to be
guilty ofsomething, probably manslaughter, or murder,
depending on a judge and jurys point of view. I knew that
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if there were ever a trial I would have no chance of being
hired as a school teacher. I could survive only if I put the
incident completely behind me and never think of it again.My guilty conscience drove me to enroll in a criminology
class in my final year. The class went on a field trip to
Jackson maximum security State Prison. We were walked
through the cell blocks, and allowed to observe a general
discussion group by the inmates, which only strengthened
my resolve to keep my mouth shut. We were allowed to
ask questions, but none of us did. The situation was so
unusual for my class that I believe we were all afraid we
would ask stupid questions and be humiliated. As to
whether I learned anything about my own criminal
proclivity, of course, I didnt. Instead of helping me both
trip and the class brought my problem into sharper focus,
increasing my preoccupation with it. I dropped the class
before my worry started to show up in my health, grades,
and worst of all, my conversation.
CHAPTER 14 HOME
I put my name on a list to be interviewed by the Kearsley
Unified School District. After my initial interview at the
college I received a telephone call setting up an
appointment at the Kearsley district office for the
following week. At the interview I was offered aprobationary job teaching summer school, starting just
two days after graduation in June, six months hence. I
would replace a newly retired fifth grade teacher. If they
liked me there was a good chance I would be offered a
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He got by, I said, but it looks like hes better at pool.
I turned to look at Peedee. He didnt look up. The room
was as silent as a church during communion. Only theeight ball remained on the table, and it was Peedees
shot. He looked like Ahab surveying the expansive green
sea to line up a harpoon shot on Moby Dick. I smiled. He
never concentrated like that in high school. I had to
conceal my amazement when he actually sunk the eight
ball with a table length three cushion shot that dribbled it
into a side pocket! It was an impossible shot! He made my
pool playing look like kindergarten stuff. He collected his
winnings in his fist and staggered over to the bar with an
empty beer mug. Banging it down on the bar top, he
slurred, Play it agin Sam, one more time. Gimme another
damn beer! he said in a celebratory tone, shoving his
beer mug across the counter to the bartender. He was
ignored. His facial expression attested to his annoyance
with the bartender. His anger looked almost personal.
Sliding into the next bar stool, I said. Hi, Peedee,
remember me?
He slowly turned and looked at me through bloodshot
eyes. I was perplexed to see him wearing thick
eyeglasses. I wondered if the beating he received from
Sam had affected his eye sight.
I don believe it, he said, rubbing red eyes with hisknuckles. If it aint ol Josh. Bartender, give us another!
Peedee demanded. Better yet, make it a pitcher a beer. I
can afford it. The bartender looked ambivalent as he
slowly reached into the beer cooler under the bar. He set
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a single bottle of Pabst Blue Ribbon in front of Peedee,
and looked at me.
I shook my head. Nothing for me, I said. Peedee chug-a-lugged the beer and raised his fist to the bartender.
Wheres that pitcher I asked fer? Peedee said with a
slur.
No, Peedee, the bartender declared, a little too bravely.
You had a lot already, he said more respectfully. How
about a sandwich? I bet you didnt have a bite to eat all
day. I can steam you a couple of hot dogs in a minute.
No. Dammit. I don want no goddamn samich. I want a
goddamn pitcher a beer!
I could see the ghost of Sam streaming out of Peedee. I
interrupted Peedees attack on the bartender, Do you
still live in the same place? I said.
Peedee turned to me. Yup! Sure do! he said. Waitll
you see the place I built. It aint no dinky lil ol cottage
nomore! You should see it!
I want to, I said. I had accidentally tapped into a subject
he took great pride in. I decided to push my luck. You
know, Aaron is in my class at Tanner. Ive seen you pick
him up from school.
So, yur the new teacher he tol me bout, he said
insolently. His tone was filled with contempt. He glared at
me. I was suddenly overcome with an intense feeling ofhatred for Peedee. Aaron is doing quite well, I said as
politely as I could manage, considering. Peedee was
having none of my conciliatory tone. He stood up, as if to
challenge me, but lost his balance and slumped forward
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in a flash he said, but I kept Horse for the kid, proving
to me that he retained his love and respect for the
animals, something we had bonded on in the past.There was a longer, more thoughtful pause, and I thought
Peedee had dozed off when he said, You dont have
nothin to do with that magazine pitcher, do you?
What magazine picture? I said, increasing the pressure
of my foot on the accelerator, so navigating the rocky
road would demand my full attention. If I said anything at
all I knew it would lead to a discussion, and that would
lead to revisiting a piece of history I desperately wanted
to avoid. Then I saw his new house.
Wow, is that yours? I said, as enthusiastically as
possible without sounding patronizing.
Thats it, he asserted.
You really did rebuild! I said, maintaining my fervor up
to and in the driveway. I got out and went around the car,
intending to help him to his door, but he pulled away,
teetering toward his porch in the manner of a pendulum.
He did not look back, or speak again, before entering his
house and closing the door behind him.
CHAPTER 15 AARON REVEALED
At the end of Mondays class I posted a homework
assignment on the chalkboard when I was interrupted byan earsplitting shriek and spun around to see Aaron, arm
raised and fist clenched, threatening the girl in the seat
behind him.
Aaron! I barked. He spun back around.
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The girl was on her feet, holding her binder in front of her
face to defend herself.
I opened the classroom door and directed Aaron into thehallway.
What was that about? I demanded.
She grabbed my arm, he countered.
So you just decided that was enough reason to attack
her? Thats incredible! I said.
Its my sore arm, he said in his defense.
Let me see your arm, I said, with some newly found
compassion.
Aaron pushed up his right sleeve, revealing several dark
purple welts. I immediately envisioned Peedee hitting him
with his belt, just as Sam had hit Peedee. Without another
word I sent Aaron to the nurse and returned to my room
to wait out the five minutes until the dismissal bell. After
the class left I collected my materials, locked my door,
and went to the nurses office. Aaron had been released
by the nurse.
Did you see the welts on Aarons arm? I asked the
nurse.
Ive seen them before, she said. There are many school
record entries about Aarons bumps and bruises. I think
perhaps physical abuse she stopped short.Really? I said. You mean Peedee?Do you know Peedee? she snapped back.
Oh yes. We grew up together. We even lived together
when we were in high school. Its a long story, I said,
trying to allay what I had just said about growing up
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together. I was deeply sorry I had said it. I did not want to
make a connection between myself and Peedee.
Well, thats interesting, the nurse said immediately.Since you know Peedee so well you could ask him,
discreetly, of course, about Aaron. But dontmention
abuse, whatever you do. There are legal implications to be
avoided. But, I can tell you that Aaron is on the Principals
watch list. Dont tell Peedee. He showed up one day, with
Aaron, and asked us to enroll him. We enrolled him on
Peedees word that he is his legal guardian. Aarons
mother has never been here. Social services are supposed
to check into situations like this, but they didnt consider
it a priority, and they have a huge backlog and not
enough help. She walked around me and closed the
office door. She said, cryptically, You know, the more
students enrolled the more money the school gets from
the state. You should talk to the Principal. You could
provide some background.
Well, I used to know him, I said, but its been years,
and Im sure hes changed. Ill think about it. I sensed
the nurse would not fault me for not wanting to confront
Peedee about abusing Aaron. Anyway, I absolutely didnt
want to discuss Peedee with the principal. The less the
school knew about me and Peedee, the better. After all,
our relationship had no bearing on my work, and wouldserve no useful purpose. However, I still needed to renew
my friendship with Peedee, just for my security and peace
of mind.
The next day I kept Aaron after school. I squeezed into the
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student desk next to him. I spoke softly.
Did you know that Peedee and I were best friends when
we were your age?No, Aaron replied, looking both curious and suspicious.
We were closer than friends, I continued. We were like
brothers. After his father died he moved into my house
and lived there all through high school. Does he ever talk
about me, or his parents?
Aaron smiled, Peedee told me he didnt graduate from
high school.
Well, yes, technically thats true, I said, in a matter-of-
fact manner. He dropped out when he started his senior
year. Aaron let down his defense a bit.
He told me that his people were farmers, and they had a
horse and a mule. I still have the horse, he said with
feeling.
I remember the horse, I said. Peedee named it just
plain Horse, I laughed. Does Peedee still call it
Horse?
Yes, he does, Aaron giggled.
When we were kids, I said, we played in the woods and
dug out a hiding place in the middle of a big clump of
brush. It took a couple of days work and we would sit out
there and talk, and smoke cigarettes, for hours. I
thought a friendly confession might loosen him up.I found your hiding place, Aaron said. There are still
some old smashed up cigarette butts on the ground and
pieces of a comic book. They must have been there for
years! I thought they were from a tramp who slept out
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Peedee! I saw the smoke from the road. Engine trouble?
Diesel fuel, Peedee said.
Diesel fuel? I dont understand, I said.Not looking up, Peedee mumbled something. I tipped my
head and cupped my hand behind my ear indicating I
didnt hear what he said, and then he shouted, I poured
some diesel in the carburetor to clean out the cylinders.
An old mechanic trick! he said. You never was the
mechanic type, he added.
He was right; I wasnt much of a mechanic. Its good to
be out in the country again, I said, breathing clean air.
Its getting too crowded in Ypsilanti. Its too close to
Detroit.
Peedee grunted in his throat, cleared it, and spit on the
ground.
I got out of my car and walked up behind him.
Aaron is doing well in school, I said. Remember that
mail order art course I took when we were in high school?
I kept all the books. Aaron is really good at drawing. I
want to give him the books, if its okay with you.
I wasnt sure Peedee heard me. He took a step backwards,
his back stiffened and he stared off into space, like I
wasnt there. I didnt understand what was driving his
sudden enmity. I searched my memory and could not
remember anything I said to Peedee that would bring onmy banishment.
Are you sure Aaron is the person to give the books to?
Peedee finally said.
He has a lot of talent, I said. Ive watched him draw.
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I boxed up the ten art books and gave them to Aaron on
Monday, to take home. I had a phone message from
Peedee on Tuesday, saying that Aaron had somequestions about the books. Peedee wanted me to drop by
his house around noon on Saturday. Perhaps, I thought,
he wanted to patch up our differences. That would be fine
with me. I would be happy to put things right.
On Saturday I put some extra art supplies and an easel for
Aaron in my car, to take as a kind of peace offering. I felt
good