final examempower

110 maskmatters.org SUMMER 2016

“...I could probably get away with a lot of things, but instead of taking advantage of it, I actually followed the rules.”

SUMMER 2016 maskmatters.org 111PHOTOGRAPHY Greggo Photography

Boundaries were never a huge part of my childhood. My parents seemed to have their hands full with my other siblings and life in general to really worry about me.

It’s interesting that even though my siblings and I grew up in the same household, our

experiences with boundaries—including how they shaped us to be the people we are today—were very different.

In my family, I have two older sisters, Janie and Kellie, then me, and then my younger brother Paul. My family and I lived in California until we moved to Arizona in 2006, about the same time as my parent’s divorce. Like any divorce, it was relatively messy, but they did the best they could to keep things between themselves. Janie and Kellie were a few years older than me, so they understood what was going on a lot more than Paul and I did.

During this time, my parents were strict. But not with me. Janie and Kellie got the worst of it. My parents made sure they were home by curfew, they knew where they were at all times, and they constantly asked questions. My sisters were always getting into trouble, and between the two of them, there was a restraining order, a suspension and an arrest. There was always something.

Then there was my younger brother, Paul. He was reckless, the rebel of the family. He wouldn’t show up to school, started doing drugs, and got into a bad crowd at a young age. Like I said, my parents had their hands full.

When it came to me, however, my parents had very few rules: Bring home an A every once in awhile, participate in sports, and always check in with them. I had a feeling that with so much on my parents’ plate, I could probably get away with a lot of things. But instead of taking advantage of it, I actually followed the rules. I saw Janie, Kellie and Paul spiral out of control and I wanted no part of that. I wanted to be the kid that my parents were proud of. So that’s what I became.

WITHOUT BORDERSBy // Lillian Simpson

I’M not a saint, though. I did my fair share of sneaking around and lied a few times to my

parents about where I was going. But compared to my siblings, I was perfect!

Looking back, I think that’s why I never did anything wrong. I didn’t want to let my parents down.

So while I would bend the rules a little, I’d never break them. I brought home As and academic achievement awards from school. I played volleyball, soccer and tennis, and still had time for student council. I had a good social life and chose my friends well. Eventually, they put me on a pedestal and I never wanted to get off. By the time college came around, I received a full ride to Arizona State University for a degree in broadcast journalism.

Now I’m 21 and about to graduate with two internships and on-air reporting experience on my resume, and I think it was all because they gave me the freedom to make my own

decisions. They gave me a choice. I saw everything from the punishments my siblings received to the stress it caused my parents. I decided I didn’t want that. I like the feeling I get when my parents talk about my success and how they love the person I am growing up to be.

As for my siblings, they turned out fine. Janie is a few months clean and is choosing to start her life over for the better. Kellie moved to Portland, where she gave birth to my beautiful niece and finished college. Paul had a few rough years and ended up living with my aunt in New York, but he graduated high school on time and is living in L.A. studying audio engineering.

So, no, my parents didn’t have many rules for me. They put me in the driver’s seat of my own destiny and had faith I’d steer in the right direction. And I owe them everything for that.

112 maskmatters.org SUMMER 2016

final examempower

“[My parents] put me in the driver’s seat of my destiny and had faith I’d steer in the right direction.”