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LeadinginMontanawithGraciousSpace

MakeYourMeetingsaSafeSpaceforHonestConversation

byPaulAxtellAPRIL11,2019HARVARDBUSINESSREVIEW

Irecentlymetwithagroupofmanagerstodiscusswaystoimprovemeetings.Ourgoalwastofigureouthowtocreateaspacethatpeopleactuallylookforwardtobeingin.Weeachbeganbydescribingameetingwerememberedasespeciallypowerful.

Onestorystoodout.

Mycolleaguetoldusaboutatimewhenhewasayoungengineerworkingonseveralprojectteamsinamanufacturingfacility.Hesaid,“Josh,mymanager,wouldtakeeveryoneoutforpizzawhenhecametothefactory,andwe’dhavea‘nosecrets’meeting.Joshaskedusaboutwhateverhewantedtoknowandwedidthesameinreturn.Itwasameetingwhereeveryonehadpermissiontosayoraskanything.Itwasamazing.”

Joshusedthesemeetingstodiscoverhowhisteamwasdoing,howtheirprojectswereprogressing,andwhattheyneededintermsofsupportandresources.Heaskedbroadquestionstoinitiateopenconversation:

WhatdoyouthinkIneedtoknow?Whereareyoustruggling?Whatareyouproudof?

Therewasnopressuretohaveaperfectanswer.Theonlyrequirementwastobehonestandsincere.Ofcourse,ithelpedthatJoshwasathoughtful,authentic,andcaringmanager—qualitiesneededtocreatethepsychologicalsafetysuchaconversationrequires.

Thequestforbettermeetingsultimatelyliesinleadingwithmutualrespectful,inclusivity,andestablishingaspacethatissafeenoughforpeopletospeaktheirminds.YoumaynotneedtodoexactlywhatJoshdid,butyoucanincreasethefreedom,candor,andqualityofconversationinyourownmeetingsbyfocusingontwokeyareas:givingpermissionandcreatingsafety.

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Here’show.

Let’sstartwithpermission.Permissiontosayoraskanythingispriceless.Itallowsustofullyexpressourselves:toseekwhatwewant,togivefeedback,tospeakupaboutissueswhenwefindtheneed.Byannouncingthathewouldliketohavea“nosecrets”meeting,Joshwasgivinghisteampermissiontodisplayalevelofcandorthatisn’treachedinmostsettings.Heaskedthosewhospokenottoholdbackoredittheirthoughts.Heaskedthosewholistenedtogivetheirpeersachancetobefullyheard,whichiswhatweallwant—tosayexactlywhatwearethinkingandberespectedforsayingit.

Inyourownmeetings,talkaboutpermissionupfront—it’sbesttoaddressitdirectlyratherthanassumeit’salreadythere.Whatpermissionwouldyoulikefromthegroupsothatyoucanleadeffectively?Whatpermissiondoesthegroupneedfromyoutosuccessfullyparticipate?

Asaleader,askyourteampermissionto:

• keeptheconversationontrackwhenitdivergesorgetsrepetitive • callonpeoplewhohavenotyetspoken • holdpeoplebackiftheyaredominatingtheconversation • askclarifyingquestionswhenyouneedsomeonetoelaborate • Empoweryourteambyremindingthemthattheyhavepermissionto: • askquestionsatanytime • invitecolleaguesintotheconversationiftheyhavenotspokenasktospendextra

timeonatopic • askotherpeopletosaymoreaboutwheretheystandonanissueexpressconcerns

thathaven’tbeenfullyaddressed

Finally,encourageyourteam(andyourself)toaskpermissionbeforemakingacomment.Itwillhelpensurethatyourcommentsarenon-threateningandreceivedthoughtfully.Beforespeakingout,say:

MayIaskyousomething?MayItellyousomething?MayIgiveyousomecoaching?MayIpushbackabitonwhatyouaresaying?

Ifthatfeelsliketoomuchtoremember,themaintakeawayis:Youandyourteamhavearighttoaskforwhateveryouneedtobeeffectiveinameeting—toleadforresults,tofullyexpressyourselves,andtoaddvaluetothediscussion.

Now,let’sfocusonsafety.Thedegreetowhichapersonfeelssafeinameetingsettingislargelybasedontheirpreviousexperiences.Manyofushave—atonepointoranother—experiencedfeelingasifwewerenotheardorappreciatedwhenwespokeup.Butwhenpeoplefeeltheircommentswillbelistenedtoandtreatedwithrespect,theyaremore

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likelytobevulnerableandsayexactlywhattheyarethinking.Conversationsbecomebroaderanddeeperwheneveryoneisinvolvedandfeelssafeenoughtospeaktheirminds.

• Tocreatepsychologicalsafetyduringameeting:• askthegrouptodevotetheirfullattentiontoeachpersonwhospeaks(dothisatthe

startofthemeeting) • alloweachpersontotaketheirtimeandcompletetheirthoughts • askfollow-upquestionsforclarityifnecessary • sharewhatisvaluableaboutsomeone’squestionorcomment • usepeople’snamesandreferbacktoearliercommentsthey’vemade • invitepeopleintotheconversationwhohavenotspoken • answeranyandallquestionstruthfully • summarizewhatyoulearnedasthemeetingcomestoanend • explainwhatactionsyouwilltaketoputthoseinsightstouseandaskyourteamfor

theirsuggestionsaswell • acknowledgethequalityoftheconversationandthankthegroupforit

Afterthemeeting,followupby:

• completingtheactionitemsbythedeadlinesyouset • notsharingtheconversationwithotherswithoutpermission • sendingwrittenthankyounotestoparticipants(whenappropriate) • followingupwithpeopletoensuretheircommentswereaddressedtotheir

satisfaction

Peopledon’tjustwanttobelong,theywanttocontribute.Youcangiveyourteamtheopportunitytodosobyapplyingtheaboveprinciples.Intheprocessofhavingmorecandid,mutuallyrespectfulconversations,yourteamwillbecomemorecohesiveandabletoworktogethermorepowerfully.Theymayevenbegintolookforwardtoyourmeetingsbecauseoftheremarkableconversationsthatpermissionandsafetycreate.Andbetterstill,youmayevenstarttolookforwardtoleadingthosemeetings.