Jewish Marriageas a rite of passage

Time• Tenakh ages for marriage

overridden by Australian civil law.

• Can take place on any day except the Shabbat and festivals.

Time

• Most Jewish weddings take place on a Sunday.

• Tuesday is considered a lucky day because in the creation story God said “it was good” twice.

Place

• May take place inside a synagogue or outside.

• It always takes place under a chuppah (a canopy)

Indoors in the synagogue

or outdoors

Under the Chuppah

Inside

or

outside

The Chuppah may be simple

Often the Chuppah is elaborately decorated and supported by four

poles covered in flowers.

The participants

• kallah (bride)

• chassan (groom)

• Friends and family

• rabbi (officiates)

• God is present

A rabbi usually officiates• Though it can be any observant

Jew sufficiently familiar with the requirements, because

• marriage, under Jewish law,• Is essentially a private contractual

agreement between a man and a woman.

In Judaism marriage is • the ideal human state.

• rated very highly.

• seen as the way to emotional and spiritual fulfilment.

• desirable for both man and woman.

The Charter

Sacred writings related to the Jewish marriage rite

• Marriage is to be encouraged because

• ‘it is not good that a man should be alone’

(Gen 2:18) and

The Charter

Sacred writings related to the Jewish marriage rite

• Rabbi’s strongly advocate marriage arguing that

• ‘he who has no wife is not a proper man’

(B.Yeb. 62b).

The Charter

Marriage is considered

• To be the basic social institutional in Judaism.

• Judaism presents the woman as the home-builder.

The Charter

The sanctification of the home • is expressed in the woman’s

special mitzvah,

• the mikveh,

• and all the food laws which the woman has to maintain.

The Charter

Marriage can provide• Physical fulfilment in

the form of sexual expression.

• When Orthodox Judaism speaks of a sexual relationship

• it means marriage.

The Charter

The Hebrew word for marriage

• Kiddushin (sanctification) expresses its sanctity.

• marriage is not only a sacred relationship,

• but the sacred relationship.

The Charter

The Set Form

in Jewish Marriage

Two weeks before the Orthodox wedding

• the groom must obtain a Ketubah.

The couple are required • to meet the Rabbi a number of

times before they marry, so he can offer advice about the meaning of marriage.

There is also a meeting • between the bride and the rabbi’s

wife who will explain what is expected of each partner in a marriage.

A few days prior to the wedding

• the bride will visit the mikveh to immerse herself as required by the Torah.

On the Shabbat before the wedding

• The groom is called to the reading of the Torah.

• People throw nuts and raisins or sweets on him as a symbol of a sweet life.

In Orthodox Judaism • On the day of the wedding• The couple fast before the

ceremony, • as they prepare for a

solemn as well as a joyful occasion.

The men, including the

• ushers, arrive first. This is known as the groom’s Tish – the time when the groom, ushers and male family members gather for song and prayers before the ceremony.

The veiling of the bride • Carried out immediately before

the processional of the bride, groom and attendants.

• It takes place in another room while guests are being seated.

The veiling of the bride • A veil is placed over

the brides eyes.• It is based on story

of Jacob in Genesis 29.• Veiling the wife is a symbol of the

groom’s commitment to clothe and protect his wife.

Sometimes it is simply • a lifting of the

veil before the ceremony by the groom to check who is behind the veil.

The ceremony • the bridegroom is escorted

to the chuppah by the fathers of the bride and groom.

• The groom may already be present under the chuppah before the ceremony begins,

The ceremony

• Or he may march down the aisle with his parents, followed by the bride and her parents.

• If the groom is already under the chuppah then:

• The bride is escorted by either her parents or

• both mothers (or sometimes by her father)

• The bride stands on the groom’s right.

The bride and groom are escorted

• because Adam and Eve were escorted by angels to their wedding.

Set Form – liminal

During the ceremony

• The escorts carry candles, since Jewish custom associates light with joy. (Esther 8:16)

Once under the chuppah • The couple stand facing the rabbi or

official conducting this part of the ceremony.

• Forming a square, the fathers of the couple stand on the groom’s left and the mothers on the bride’s right.

The Bride then circles • the groom seven times to show this

is the man she wishes to marry.

Set Form – liminal

The number seven

• corresponds with the seven times in the Tenakh where it is written “when a man takes a wife.’

The action also • represents the

role the wife will play in creating an all-embracing, religious warmth within the home.

The initial blessings

• are recited over wine as both partners drink from a single cup as a symbol of the shared joy and gladness over the marriage itself.

Giving of the ring• Groom places a

wedding ring on the forefinger of the right hand where it can be displayed most clearly to the two witnesses.

The ring

• is later transferred to the finger usually used in the country of the wedding.

On giving the ring• The groom says the words of

consecration• “Behold, thou art consecrated to

me by this ring, according to the Law of Moses and of Israel.”

The ring is• a symbol of eternity.

In Orthodox congregations• The groom does not receive a ring.

• Conservative congregations follow the Orthodox form, but it is usual for the bride at this point to give the groom a ring.

In many reform congregations• Both the bride and groom recite

the English words, “With this ring I thee wed.”

• The words of both formulas constitutes the vows of Jewish marriage.

The couple are now

• set apart from others for each other.

• A lifelong commitment is implied,

• but Judaism does not believe that people can promise this in vows.

Next the ceremony focuses on the marriage contract

• The person conducting the wedding reads out the Ketubah in Aramaic and often gives an English summary.

In the presence of two witnesses

• The groom accepts the ketubah by taking hold of a handkerchief given to him by the officiating rabbi.

The signed ketubah is

• Presented to the bride.

In some Orthodox communities

• The groom reads and agrees to the ketubah before the ceremony begins.

In Conservative Judaism• Both the bride and groom often sign

a simple marriage certificate, a practice that is followed in all reform congregations.

The marriage closes• As it began with blessings recited

over a cup of wine.

• Both partners drink from this second cup, again symbolising their resolve to share everything during their life together.

This is followed• By the recitation of seven

blessings, praising God for the creation of all things, of Man, and of man and woman in His image.

• Not only the story of creation, but also the history of Israel and its future hopes are echoed.

The recitation ends with

• ‘Blessed are you, O Lord, who gladdens the bridegroom with the bride’.

The bridegroom then• Crushes a glass with his shoe to the

shouts of Mazel Tov

From the guests – Mazel Tov meaning ‘congratulations’ and ‘good luck’.

In Orthodoxy • The breaking

glass is a reminder of the destruction of the Temple,

Whilst in other congregations

• it is a more general reminder of life’s fragility and sadness.

• It also symbolises that the act of marriage cannot be undone.

Sometimes the couple • Are left in a private room

(yichud) for a brief period immediately after the ceremony.

• This signifying their new status as husband and wife.

Yichud means • “togetherness alone”

and is a mitzvah in the Orthodox tradition.

• Here they break the fast with a small meal before joining the celebrations.

A celebratory meal, the reception or Wedding feast

• is held after the wedding for the couple and their guests.

The reception • is usually a lavish dinner where

the guests and relatives participate in the mitzvah of celebrating in joy with the bride and groom.

To show this joy and how special the couple are

• the bride and groom are carried on the shoulders of the guests.

In Orthodox communities • It is likely that men and women will

have separate dancing during the event with strictly Jewish music.

While other variants • Allow mixed dancing with a

mixture of different sounds including Jewish music.

The meal itself • is usually kosher in Orthodox

marriages, however

• all variants may cater for both kosher and non-kosher meals depending on the variety of guests.

The reception • The meal

concludes with grace and a repetition of the seven marriage blessings.

Traditionally • a celebratory meal is held in a

different home for each of the seven nights following the wedding.

The seven blessings • from the wedding ceremony are

also recited at the end of of each of these meals.

• The couple are welcomed as full married members of the faith community.