Interpersonal Communication ProjectCommunicating with a Fierce Conversation

Santosha Deen HSER 508Liberty University

Communication Where Humanness Happens

• Communication is the continuous, complex, collaborative process of verbal and nonverbal meaning making. (Stewart, 2012)

• Communication derives from the root word “commune” sharing information and connecting with others. (Peterson, 2007)

• The spiritually minded believe you can also commune with God. (Peterson, 2007)

Overarching GoalObtaining a Fierce Conversation

IntenseStrongPowerfulPassionateEagerRobust

conversation

(Stewart, 2012)

Overarching Goal Obtaining a Fierce Conversation

• Not to operate in anger or hostility;

Being genuinely present

Authentic in as many as possible

of the conversations you experience (Stewart, 2012)

• “The goal of an intense conversation is to get reality on the table where you can deal with it”(McVey, 2010)

• A recent study shows that most students engineer responses to

please the teacher without conversation or collaboration. They

are just wanting to get the right answer (Kipp-Newbold, 2010)

Obtaining a Fierce ConversationFor the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.Hebrews 4:12

Enlarging the conversationObtaining a Fierce Conversation

• Enlarging the conversation is when we conquer the flaws/demons that can hinder our personalities from operating to its fullest. This means we are able to function with different personalities and are capable of responding to people who may think or respond differently than we do.

• I have concluded that enlarging the conversation has a lot to do with self-control.

The Four Temperament Model of Human Behavior

• Passive/People-oriented

• Steady, stable, shy, specialists, submissive

• Passive/ Task-oriented

• Cautious, competent, careful, compliant

• Active/People –oriented

• Inspiring, influencing, interested in people

• Active/ Task-oriented

• Directing, driving, demanding

D I

SC

(Carbonell,2008)

My Behavioral BlendI am expected to be an SThis is me C/S

D I S C

Graph 1

D I S C

Graph 2

Uniquely You Profile

My DISC Tendencies I AM

D - is direct to the point

I - promoting, encouraging, smiling happy

S - True Blue, Calm Obedient, Compassionate, Generous, Loyal, Sweet, Merciful

C- Conscientious, Thinker, Inquisitive

I’M NOT

D - demanding, opinionated, controlling

I - Popular, clowning, talkative

S - soft spoken , timidC - Perfectionists,

Precise

Uniquely You Profile

Interpersonal Skills Test• Can interpret

other people’s words and actions

• Few misunderstandings

• See things from other peoples perspective

• Empathy • Will adjust

yourself according to what other people are thinking

Interpersonal Communi-cation Skills

1 Insightful

Quenching The Fierce Conversation

Being Out Of Control

• Fear• Not speaking out• Not allowing time for

myself• Only listening to people• “Sucker”

(Carbonell, 2008)

Fueling The Fierce Conversation

Mature or In Control• Education and

experience has a way of strengthening my personality

• Although considered an introvert I can act like and extrovert

• People no longer see me as a nerd but a knowledgeable person.

(Carbonell,2008)

• Not Having a Response To Malevolent or Benevolent lies “Let her lie”• Listening with the “Flat-

Brain”• Out of Control thoughts• Not allowing the speaker

to talk• Not studying the Bible

Potential barriers to interpersonal communication

Dealing with potential barriers to interpersonal communication

• Play detective• Restore truth• Non judgmental• Empathetic Listening• Taking ownership of

thoughts and feelings• Help the Talker give birth to

their conversation• Transform my mind

(Romans 12:1-2)

Noise Pollution

• My beliefs• My Experiences• Actual Noise• Visual Distractions

Solution To External Noise PollutionDo• Listen with understanding • Be non judgmentally and

noncritical• Have eye contact• Face the person with an

open relaxed posture• Acknowledge the talker by Nodding head Leaning forward Making facial expressions that match the talkers feelings

Do Not• Interrupt• Fidget• Tune out

what the other person is saying

( Burley-Allen, 1995)

Solutions To Internal Noise Pollution

• Listen to yourself (Burley-Allen,1995)

Going Somewhere Cycle

Situation

Thought

Process

Behavior

Feelings

A Plan of Action Obtaining a Fierce Conversation

• Search for Something to use; find areas of common interest

• Take the initiative• Work at listening• Focus Your Attention on Ideas• Make meaningful Notes• Resist External Distractions• Hold Rebuttal; Watch Out for Hot Buttons• Keep an Open Mind: Ask Questions to

Clarify for Understanding• Summarize• Practice Regularly• Analyze What Is Said Nonverbally• Evaluate and Be Critical of Content, Not

the Speaker’s Delivery

Burley-Allen ,1995

A Plan of Action Obtaining a Fierce Conversation

Study The Word Of God And Apply It To My Conversation

Colossians 4:6

Bibliography

American Psychological Association. Publication manual of the american

psychological

association. Washington, D.C.: American Psychological Association.

Burley-Allen, M. (1995). Listening: the forgotten skill: A self-teaching guide.

(2nd ed.).

New York: John Wiley & Sons, Inc.

Carbonell, M. (2008). How to solve the people puzzle: Understanding

personality patterns. Blue

Ridge, GA: Uniquely You Resources.

Kendrick, A. (Director). (2008). Fireproof [Motion Picture]. Albany, GA:

Sony Pictures.

Bibliography Continued

Kipp-Newbold, R. (2010). That's fierce! collaboration in the english classroom.

English Journal, 99(5), 74-78.

Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com/

McVey, S. (2010). Convoluted CONVERSATIONS. Veterinary Economics, 51(4), 22-

24,26.Retrieved from

http://search.proquest.com/

Petersen, J. C. (2007). Why don’t we listen better? Communicating and connecting

in relationships. Tigard, OR: Petersen

Publications.

Stewart, J. (Ed.). (2012). Bridges not walls: A book about interpersonal

communication. (11th ed.). Boston: McGraw Hill.