How to Assist Someonein Severe Distress

A Publication of the Police Protective Fund

Wisdom from Chaplain David Fair, Ph.D.

Photography Phil LeConte

A Guiding Hand in the DarknessLaw Enforcement

Chaplaincy is not for everyone. If Iʼm working

with a chaplain candidate, one of the first things I do is take him to the scene of a trauma. I watch his eyes,

his facial expressions and most of all his demeanor.

Usually within 5 minutes I can tell you if he has what it

takes to be a Police Chaplain.

As Police Chaplains we have to be the calm in the

middle of the storm -- the eye of a hurricane. There

has to be that place of calm compassion on the scene of a horrific trauma. If only

for an instant, they know the Chaplain is there. It is called, the “Ministry of

Presence”. Most often just being there calms the

situation.

Police Chaplains are trained professionals, but

they canʼt be everywhere at once. Therefore the first responding officer, the

paramedic or even a private citizen may be

pressed into service trying to calm down a person who has been stabbed, raped, survived a car wreck when others did not, or witnessed

the traumatic death of a loved one.

There is an old saying, “ Do all you can do. But all you

can do is enough”

Chaplain David Fair, Ph.D.

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Chaplain David Fair, Ph.D.

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to helping someone in severe distress regain some control and a sense of calm after experiencing or

witnessing a traumatic event --.

Chaplain Daveʼs Five Essential Steps 5

You can be of no good to anyone if you are injured or dead. Professional Chaplains or paramedics never enter an area unless they know the scene is safe. Law enforcement must

secure the scene before anyone else enters.

1. Wait until the police have secured the scene.

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In a panic state, abnormal breathing is one of the main reasons a person may feel as if they are having a heart attack and are going to

die. With shallow breathing the brain does not get enough oxygen and all sorts or psychological things start to happen. You must get the

attention of the person. Say “Iʼm here to help you. Please listen to me. Look at me."

2. Control Breathing

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People who have witnessed a trauma are likely in psychogenic shock. You need to get them to look at you. Use simple words and speech. You will need to repeat. They will ask you the same questions over

and over. Be patient.

3. Speak Slowly and Clearly

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4. Use the Person's NameIn speaking to a family

member, use the individual's name. They are not the

"victim", the "deceased", the "remains" or anything else.

"Iʼm sorry John is dead." "Sue has been severely

injured." "Jack is missing."

The name is important to the family.

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If it becomes your responsibility to deliver a death message, have the

person sit down. Tell then you have some very bad news.

Then state simply and briefly: “Is your husband John Doe? Ma’am, I’m

sorry to tell you there’s been a bad traffic accident.  Mr. Doe was killed. 

I’m so sorry: he is dead.”  This may seem cold, but the person has to hear

the word ‘dead’. 

Don’t say “passed away”, “gone with the Lord”, “expired”, or “is sleeping

with the angels.”  No. He is dead. There have been many accounts in

which a chaplain or first responder has tried to ease the blow, and the

survivor misunderstood and thought the victim was still alive.

5. Use the "D" Word

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YOU CAN DO THIS!These five tips will be your guide until a Chaplain or a trained clergy member arrives.

If you end up being the only one to comfort a survivor, remember this phrase: “ Do no further harm”. God gave us two ears and one mouth, so we need to listen twice as much as we talk. Donʼt make decisions for them. Instead, empower them to make their own decisions.

Let them take control again by giving them choices to make. "Can I get you water or tea?"

You can do this. Control your own breathing. Stay calm. And silently pray to your higher power if you like.

Thank you for helping others.

Chaplain Fair

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American Association of Police OfficersThe American Association of Police Officers is a not-for-profit

educational organization dedicated to enhancing public safety by bringing the wisdom of Americaʼs law enforcement veterans to the

next generation of Americans.

For 20 years, AAPO has built its reputation by preserving the wisdom of veteran law enforcers -- both active-duty and retired –

with the ultimate purpose of preserving life and liberty.

A warm and spirited thanks to the many law enforcement officers who have lent their wisdom and talents to our programming.

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