HEALTHFU

L FRIENDSHIPS

WHAT IS A HEALTHFUL FRIENDSHIP?• A balanced relationship that promotes mutual respect and healthful behavior Improves the quality of life• Friends… take a personal interest in each other support each other encourage each other participate in social activities together

“A friend is a gift you giveyourself.”

“To have a friend,you must be a

friend.”

Asking questionsShowing interest in

othersListening carefullyResponding to othersEncouraging othersBeing positiveMaking eye contactSharing ideas/feelingsEncouraging others to

talk

Talking about yourselfAppearing

disinterestedInterruptingChanging the topicBraggingComplainingAvoiding eye contactTalking about othersDominating the

conversation

CONVERSATION KEEPERS/KILLERS

REJECTIONEveryone experiences rejectionRejection: the feeling of being unwelcomed or unwantedHow should you respond? Anger? Bury feelings? Don’t care?

BALANCED FRIENDSHIPSFriendship requires the commitment of 2!Balanced friendship: 2 people give and receive from each other acts

of kindnessEQUAL giving and receiving!!

WAYS TO GIVE AND RECEIVE

G I V I N G

ListeningHelping

celebrate success

Buying special gifts

R E C E I V I N G

ListeningAccepting gifts

or helpExpress

gratitude

ONE-SIDED FRIENDSHIPSOne-sided friendship: a friendship in which one person does most of

the giving and the other person does most of the receivingWhy? People Pleasers Don’t know how to receive from others

• People pleaser: person who constantly seeks the approval of others

– Insecure– Give to be liked and noticed by others

“USERS”People who do most or all of the receivingTake from others to get their needs metLittle interest in meeting the needs of their “friends”The believe they always should come firstWant to be in control of decisionsThey do not know how to become close to others

ENDING FRIENDSHIPSChanging friends is a part of growing up!Why do friendships change? Friends may move away A friend may break confidence Interests changeThere are times when a person needs to be objective about and

decide if a “friend” is a friend Encourages wrong actions contrary to one’s own values

LOCUS OF C

ONTROL

R E S P O N S I BI L

I TY &

DE C I S

I ON M

A K I NG

DEFINITION• The extent to which individuals believe that they can control

events that affect them.• There are two types:

• Internal• External

INTERNAL VS. EXTERNAL

I N T E R N A L

• The person believes they can control their life.

• Outcomes are a result of their own abilities• Hard work leads to

positive outcomes• Every action has its

consequences

E X T E R N A L

• The person believes that their decisions & life are controlled by environmental factors.

• Blame others for the outcomes rather than themselves• Luck• Fate• Powerful others

EXAMPLE• A student did not perform well on a test.• What would be the reaction of a person who has an internal locus of

control?• What would be the reaction of a person who has an external locus of

control?

HOW DOES IT DIFFER FROM PERSON TO PERSON?• Age• Gender (depending on the topic)• Cultures• Stress

TIPS FOR DEVELOPING AN INTERNAL LOCUS OF CONTROL• Set goals for yourself• Develop decision making and problem solving skills• Build self-confidence• Pay attention to your self-talk

“The key for your own personal development is to understand your natural tendency for reaction and then adapt it to the situations you are faced with.”

IMPORTANCE OF SETTING GOALS• Help people focus on particular issues or activities• Due to the fact that a goal is often written, the person will

be reminded that the issue still needs to be addressed and will continue their efforts to accomplish the goal.

• Once the goal is accomplished, the person may feel a sense of satisfaction.

• Promotes confidence and the challenge to attack more complicated and difficult issues.

GUIDELINES TO KEEP IN MIND…• Understand yourself• Have a specific task in mind• Be positive• Be realistic• Have control over the outcome• Challenge yourself!

SIX STEPS IN THE GOAL SETTING PROCESS:• Identify your goal in writing. If it’s not written, it is

just a wish.• Identify any short-term goals or steps necessary to

achieve a long-term goal.• Identify all resources that can assist you in achieving

the goal.• Identify alternative plans and solutions for any

conflicts that may arise.• Continue to improve and refine your plan.• Evaluate. What went well? What could you improve on

when pursuing a similar goal in the future?