Post on 21-Jan-2016
He waka eke noa We are all in this together
Fryslan, The Netherlands
Aotearoa, New Zealand
Mourning
A set of customs, ceremonies, rituals,
behaviours prescribed by a culture’s tradition
Aristotle: “Phronesis” Practical wisdom
“and what is as important as knowledge” asked the mind
“understanding, feeling and seeing with the heart” answered the soul
Grieving
subjective state of feelings
rising spontaneously
Be aware of, honour and respect previous life experiences of loss, don’t under-estimate resilience,explore areas of strength
DENIAL
BARGAINING
ANGER
DEPRESSION
ACCEPTANCE
“On Death and Dying” 1969Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, 1926-2004
Spiritualwairua
Physicaltinana
Intellectualhinengaro
Emotionalwhanau
experience world with senses
experience world with feelings
experience world with intellect
experience worldwith intuition
te whare tapa wha
Dr. Mason Durie, New Zealand Aotearoa 1982
Empathy
Understanding another, and thus gaining an insight into their worries or distress.
Neurons and empathy
There is no real independent self, aloof from other human beings, inspecting the world, inspecting other people. You are, in fact, connected not just via Facebook and Internet, you’re actually quite literally connected by your neurons.”
Prof. Vilayanur Ramachandran, neuroscientist,
University of California, San Diego, USA
Compassion
“Is a sustained and practical determination to do whatever is possible and necessary to help
alleviate….suffering.”
Sogyal Rimpoche The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying
terror management theory
protection from death anxiety and/orreal or perceived threat to integrity of self.
creates a cultural anxiety buffer and individual conception of worldview and faith.
creates out-groupers and in-groupers.
More self-worth/self esteem equals more tolerance
Ernest Becker anthropologist, 1973 “The denial of Death”
Greenberg, Solomon and Pyshynsky 2011
I P
S
E
expertosis
a belief that the professional knows better than the patient what they need
Smart.R, 1994: “expertosis: is it catching?”Australia and New Zealand Journal of Family Therapy, 15 (1), 1-9
The life I touch for ill or good
will touch another life, and that in turn another,
until who knows where the trembling stops
or in what far place my touch will be felt
Frederic Buechner
To mendTo transcend suffering To restore sound-ness
Healing
MAURI
“the life force or essence of the emotions, the essential quality and vitality of a being or entity” (Te Aka Maori)
“get the Mauri right, that gets the relationship right”
Arena Munro, Ngati Rehia, Te Tii 2012
Self-reflection, the importance of clearly knowing our own inner landscape
Image: Chris Piper
Awareness of the fact that we don’t know another persons’ inner landscapeMaking no assumptions or judgments, being in a place of open curiosity
Curiosity wonderment
The most beautiful experience in the world is the experience of the mysterious.
Albert Einstein
“Playing God”
“ she said”
Glenn Colquhoun
2002