Post on 01-Apr-2015
Getting OurThree Keys toBetter Relationships
Hearts Right
Conflict is a universal human problem.
Getting OurHearts
Right
What do we do about conflict?
Getting OurHearts
Right
What do we do about conflict?
Getting OurHearts
Right
Knowledge
What do we do about conflict?
Getting OurHearts
Right
Knowledge
Skills
Personal biases make it difficult to evaluate
conflicts fairly.
Getting OurHearts
Right
Getting OurHearts
Right
Getting OurHearts
RightEgocentrismWe focus on ourselves and
our needs.
Getting OurHearts
RightEgocentrismWe focus on ourselves and
our needs.
Fundamental Attribution Bias
We tend to excuse our
mistakes and faults because of our circumstances
while blaming others’ misdeeds
on their bad character.
Getting OurHearts
RightEgocentrismWe focus on ourselves and
our needs.
Fundamental Attribution Bias
We tend to excuse our
mistakes and faults because of our circumstances
while blaming others’ misdeeds
on their bad character.
Naïve RealismWe tend to see bias and bad logic in other
people but fail to see it in ourselves.
Getting OurHearts
Right
Getting OurHearts
Right
Angernarrows and
blinds us.
Getting OurHearts
Right
Angernarrows and
blinds us.
Confirmation Bias
We tend to accept only
information that supports what
we already believe.
Getting OurHearts
Right
Angernarrows and
blinds us.
Confirmation Bias
We tend to accept only
information that supports what
we already believe.Unreliable
MemoriesWe regularly reshape our
memories to fit our objectives.
Getting OurHearts
Right
Angernarrows and
blinds us.
Confirmation Bias
We tend to accept only
information that supports what
we already believe.Unreliable
MemoriesWe regularly reshape our
memories to fit our objectives.
Negativity Bias
We tend to be overwhelmed by bad things
and forget good things.
Getting OurHearts
RightBIAS IN ACTION
You know, you have faults, too!
Yes. But they don’t bother me like
yours do!
Getting OurHearts
Right
The soundtracks of our lives.
Getting OurHearts
Right
We process our perceptions through our own life stories.
The solution to bias goes beyond knowledge
and skills.
Getting OurHearts
Right
Key 1:Humility opens our hearts.
Getting OurHearts
Right
How to cultivate humility
Getting OurHearts
Right
How can you activate humility in your life and relationships?
Getting OurHearts
RightReflectio
n:
Science’s two-part answer for activating humility:
Getting OurHearts
Right
Science’s two-part answer for activating humility:
Getting OurHearts
Right
1. Consider your biases.
Science’s two-part answer for activating humility:
Getting OurHearts
Right
1. Consider your biases.
2. Consider the weakness in your position.
Applying humility to your own situation
Getting OurHearts
Right
Key 2:Compassion connects our hearts.
Getting OurHearts
Right
How to cultivate
compassion
Getting OurHearts
Right
How to cultivate
compassion
Getting OurHearts
Right
Stay peaceful.
How to cultivate
compassion
Getting OurHearts
Right
Stay peaceful.Recognize that your perceptions are not the whole story.
How to cultivate
compassion
Getting OurHearts
Right
Stay peaceful.Recognize that your perceptions are not the whole story.Listen to and understand the feelings of others.
Applying compassion to your own situation
Getting OurHearts
Right
How can you open your heart to
someone else’s view?
Key 3:Positivity inspires our hearts.
Getting OurHearts
Right
How to cultivate positivity.
Getting OurHearts
Right
How to cultivate positivity.
Getting OurHearts
Right
We can remember the good times in a relationship.
How to cultivate positivity.
Getting OurHearts
Right
We can remember the good times in a relationship.
We can focus on the good qualities in people and appreciate how they enrich our lives.
How to cultivate positivity.
Getting OurHearts
Right
We can remember the good times in a relationship.
We can focus on the good qualities in people and appreciate how they enrich our lives.
When relationships don’t go well, we can assume that problems are temporary or minimal.
How to cultivate positivity.
Getting OurHearts
Right
How to cultivate positivity.
Getting OurHearts
Right
We can see the good things in our relationships as enduring and typical.
How to cultivate positivity.
Getting OurHearts
Right
We can see the good things in our relationships as enduring and typical.
We can identify examples of people who sustain positive relationships and learn from their examples.
Applying positivity to your own situation
Getting OurHearts
Right
What has helped you be more positive
in your relationships?
Changed hearts activate loving responses—but it often takes effort over time to get our hearts right.
Getting OurHearts
Right
Conclusion:Knowledge + Skills + Right
Heart =Better Relationships
Getting OurHearts
Right
Getting OurThree Keys toBetter Relationships
Hearts Right