1

Get Closer Understanding and building stronger personal relationships

2

3

4

5

6

What’s a bigger influence on your clients’ loyalty to you: your performance, or your relationship?

7

Research

Forrester Research, 2010

? Focus on growing, not just preserving money Doing what’s right for the customer

+/- Predictor of Loyalty

8

Forrester Research, 2010

+0.136

Focus on growing, not just preserving money Doing what’s right for the customer

+/- Predictor of Loyalty

Answer

9

Forrester Research, 2010

-0.044

Focus on growing, not just preserving money Doing what’s right for the customer

+/- Predictor of Loyalty

+0.136

Answer

10

Matthew Lieberman, “Social” 2013

3 Modes

11

Matthew Lieberman, “Social” 2013

Instinct / Survival

3 Modes

12

Matthew Lieberman, “Social” 2013

Instinct / Survival

Social / Relationships

3 Modes

13

Matthew Lieberman, “Social” 2013

Instinct / Survival

Social / Relationships

Rational / Money

3 Modes

14

Matthew Lieberman, “Social” 2013

Instinct / Survival

Social / Relationships

Rational / Money

3 Modes

X X

15

Matthew Lieberman, “Social” 2013

Relationships = Open, receptive

Money = Selfish, Suspicious

3 Personalities

Instinctive = Impulsive, reactive

16

Matthew Lieberman, “Social” 2013

Relationships = Open, receptive

Money = Selfish, Suspicious

3 Personalities

Instinctive = Impulsive, reactive

X X

17

Social / Financial / Social

18

Retain

Acquire

Develop

1

2

3

Client Development

19

Make it engaging

Make a connection

Make it personal

Retain

Acquire

Develop

Relationship Development

20

9 Techniques

Make it engaging

Make a connection

Make it personal

Find something in common Share your values Dress to connect

Create intimacy Use the right language

Open up

Sight, sound & touch Do small favors Start a tradition

21

Make a Connection

Find something in common 1

Santa Clara University

22

Make a Connection

Find something in common 1

Santa Clara University

23

Make a Connection

33%

Find something in common 1

Santa Clara University

24

Make a Connection

Find something in common 1

33% 62%

Santa Clara University

25

80% 33% 62%

Find something in common 1

Santa Clara University

26

Make a Connection

Find something in common 1

27

Make a Connection

Share your values 2

28

Make a Connection

“Think Different” 1997

Share your values 2

Thomas Edison

Alfred Hitchcock

Bob Dylan

Jim Henson

29

Make a Connection

“Think Different” 1997

Share your values 2

Thomas Edison Innovator iMac, 1998

Alfred Hitchcock Movies Final Cut, 1999

Bob Dylan Music iPod, 2001

Jim Henson Media iPad, 2010

30

Make a Connection

Share your values 2

31

Make a Connection

Share your values 2

32

Make a Connection

Costner: $150 million

Two Academy Awards

Share your values 2

33

Springsteen: $200 million 120 million albums

Costner: $150 million

Two Academy Awards

Share your values 2

34

Dress to connect 3

35

Emswiller, 1971

Make a Connection

Dress to connect 3

36

Emswiller, 1971

Make a Connection

Dress to connect 3

37

Emswiller, 1971

Make a Connection

Dress to connect 3

38

Emswiller, 1971

Make a Connection

Dress to connect 3

>66%

39

Emswiller, 1971

Dress to connect 3

>66% <50%

40

Make a Connection

Dress to connect 3

41

GET CLOSER Get Closer

Make a connection Find something in common

Share your values Dress to connect

42

Get Closer

Make a connection

Make it personal

Find something in common Share your values Dress to connect

Create intimacy Use the right language

Open up

43

Banquette

Make it personal

Create intimacy 4

44

Make it personal

Create intimacy 4

45

Make it personal

Use the right language 5

4 ounce, USDA grade D patty

46

Make it personal

Use the right language 5

“Big Mac” 4 ounce, USDA grade D patty

47

Make it personal

Use the right language 5

48

Make it personal

Use the right language 5

49

Ori and Rom Brafman, Click 2010

Make it personal

Open up 6

50

Would you like to be famous? In what way? When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you’re going to say? Why?

If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

The 45-minute relationship questionnaire:

Source: Arthur Aron, Stony Brook University

Make it personal

Open up 6

51

Would you like to be famous? In what way?

When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you’re going to say? Why?

If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be? Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

Source: Arthur Aron, Stony Brook University

Make it personal

Open up 6

The 45-minute relationship questionnaire:

52

Get Closer

Make a connection

Make it personal

Find something in common Share your values Dress to connect

Create intimacy Use the right language

Open up

53

Make it engaging

Make a connection

Make it personal

Find something in common Share your values Dress to connect

Create intimacy Use the right language

Open up

Sight, sound & touch Do small favors Start a tradition

Get Closer

54

Sherry Turkle, “Alone Together”/TED Talks, 2012

Make it engaging

Sight, sound and touch 7

55

John Carpenter, Who Wants to be a Millionaire, 2007

Make it engaging

Sight, sound and touch 7

56

John Carpenter, Who Wants to be a Millionaire, 2007

Make it engaging

“Hi, Dad … ?”

Sight, sound and touch 7

57

John Carpenter, Who Wants to be a Millionaire, 2007

Make it engaging

“Reach out and touch someone”

Sight, sound and touch 7

58

Make it engaging

Sight, sound and touch 7

59

Make it engaging

Sight, sound and touch 7

60

Make it engaging

Sight, sound and touch 7

10%

61

Make it engaging

Sight, sound and touch 7

10% > 20%

62

Make it engaging

Do small favors 8

63

Make it engaging

Do small favors 8

Robert Cialdini – “Influence”, 1984

64

Douglas Atkins – “The Culting of Brands”, 2004

Make it engaging

Start a tradition 9

65

Douglas Atkins – “The Culting of Brands”, 2004

Make it engaging

Start a tradition 9

66

GET CLOSER

Make it engaging

Make a connection

Make it personal

Find something in common Share your values Dress to connect

Create intimacy Use the right language

Open up

Sight, sound & touch Do small favors Start a tradition

Get Closer

67

Do people just LIKE Apple products, or are they ADDICTED to them?

Question

68

New York Times September 30th, 2011

Experiment

69

New York Times September 30th, 2011

Result

70

Get Closer

71

Bobby Jones

Inspiration

72

Bobby Jones

“Golf is played one shot at a time. But it took me many shots to realize that.”

Inspiration

73

Questions?

Get Closer

74

Important information

The material is prepared by and represents the views of John Mittnacht. It is for informational purposes only and should not be regarded as a recommendation or offer to buy or sell any TIAA product or service to which this information may relate. Certain products and services may not be available to all entities or persons.

© 2014 Teachers Insurance and Annuity Association-College Retirement Equities Fund (TIAA-CREF), 730 Third Ave., New York, NY 10017

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