Post on 25-May-2018
ENGLISH LANGUAGEJ351For first teaching in 2015
QualificationAccredited
www.ocr.org.uk/english
Component 01: Communicating information and ideasSection B (Writing)Version 1
GCSE (9–1)Candidate Exemplar Responses
Candidate Exemplar Responses
2
GCSE (9–1) English Language
© OCR 2016
ContentsIntroduction 3
Script A
Exemplar Response 4
Commentary 8
Script B
Exemplar Response 9
Commentary 11
Script C
Exemplar Response 12
Commentary 14
Script D
Exemplar Response 15
Commentary 18
Script E
Exemplar Response 19
Commentary 22
Script F
Exemplar Response 23
Commentary 26
Script G
Exemplar Response 27
Commentary 28
Script H
Exemplar Response 29
Candidate Exemplar Responses
3
GCSE (9–1) English Language
© OCR 2016
IntroductionThis resource has been produced by a senior member of the GCSE (9–1) English Language examining team to offer teachers an insight into how the assessment objectives are applied. It has taken the two high mark questions from the sample question paper and used them to illustrate how the questions might be answered and provide some commentary on what factors contribute to overall levels.
As these responses have not been through full moderation, they are banded to give an indication of the level of each response.
Please note that this resource is provided for advice and guidance only and does not in any way constitute an indication of grade boundaries or endorsed answers.
The sample assessment material for these answers and commentary can be found on the GCSE (9–1) English Language web page and accessed via the following link: http://www.ocr.org.uk/qualifications/gcse-english-language-j351-from-2015/
Candidate Exemplar Responses
4
GCSE (9–1) English Language
© OCR 2016
Write a speech for your class in which you argue that violence is not the solution to conflict between people. In your speech you should: • explain why peaceful solutions are better than violent ones • give some examples to support your argument • convince your audience that violence does not solve conflict. [40]
SCRIPT A
Candidate Exemplar Responses
8
GCSE (9–1) English Language
© OCR 2016
CommentaryAO5: Level 6; AO6: Level 4
This works on a series of very well linked and interconnected scales and is infused throughout with a lively confidence, wide-ranging knowledge and a tone of well-modulated moral outrage suited to the purpose of the task. The genre and audience have been clearly understood and are focused on consistently in a sophisticated structure. An ambitious range of vocabulary and sentence structures has been deployed to create a series of very effective moments.
Candidate Exemplar Responses
9
GCSE (9–1) English Language
© OCR 2016
Write a speech for your class in which you argue that violence is not the solution to conflict between people. In your speech you should: • explain why peaceful solutions are better than violent ones • give some examples to support your argument • convince your audience that violence does not solve conflict. [40]
SCRIPT B
Candidate Exemplar Responses
11
GCSE (9–1) English Language
© OCR 2016
CommentaryAO5: Level 5; AO6: Level 4
The candidate argues their viewpoint with impressive force and concision. There is a confident sense of the task and an effective head on approach to the audience. The insistent tone is sustained and developed with convincing and detailed examples. The use of a range of vocabulary and sentence structures enhances the piece significantly. More detail and linguistic flair may have helped to move this response in the higher band AO5.
Candidate Exemplar Responses
12
GCSE (9–1) English Language
© OCR 2016
Write an article for a teenage magazine which gives advice to young people on how to cope with the pressures and stresses of modern life. You are not required to include any visual or presentational features. In your article you should:• identify some of the pressures and stresses that young people face • suggest why these issues may be difficult to deal with • explain some of the ways in which these can be managed. [40]
SCRIPT C
Candidate Exemplar Responses
14
GCSE (9–1) English Language
© OCR 2016
CommentaryAO5: Level 4; AO6: Level 3
There is a clear structure to this and the tone/style is not inappropriate. The audience is addressed with some awareness and sensitivity. The expression is clear and secure. In places it lapses into cliché and assertion and the development of argument and idea is limited. More rigorous planning and more thoughtful language choices may have moved this response into a higher band.
Candidate Exemplar Responses
15
GCSE (9–1) English Language
© OCR 2016
Write an article for a teenage magazine which gives advice to young people on how to cope with the pressures and stresses of modern life. You are not required to include any visual or presentational features. In your article you should:• identify some of the pressures and stresses that young people face • suggest why these issues may be difficult to deal with • explain some of the ways in which these can be managed. [40]
SCRIPT D
Candidate Exemplar Responses
18
GCSE (9–1) English Language
© OCR 2016
CommentaryAO5: Level 4; AO6: Level 3
The genre is engaged with a good range of points, some of which are effectively and neatly made. There is a clear sense of the topic and audience throughout. The piece is well organised. In order to move into Level 5, this piece would need to show a more strongly sustained tone and register to enable greater coherence and cohesion.
Candidate Exemplar Responses
19
GCSE (9–1) English Language
© OCR 2016
Write a speech for your class in which you argue that violence is not the solution to conflict between people.In your speech you should: • •explainwhypeacefulsolutionsarebetterthanviolentones• •givesomeexamplestosupportyourargument• •convinceyouraudiencethatviolencedoesnotsolveconflict. [40]
SCRIPT E
Candidate Exemplar Responses
22
GCSE (9–1) English Language
© OCR 2016
CommentaryAO5: Level 3; AO6: Level 2
The response shows an awareness of the task purpose; there is a direct address/appeal to the audience couched in fairly straightforward ways. The style and register aren’t always appropriate and it becomes repetitive towards the end of the piece as it struggles slightly to stay in touch with the purpose. Sentence structures are under control, if limited in their variety. The expression isn’t always secure and there are some punctuation errors. More planning might have improved the final outcome.
Candidate Exemplar Responses
23
GCSE (9–1) English Language
© OCR 2016
Write an article for a teenage magazine which gives advice to young people on how to cope with the pressures and stresses of modern life. You are not required to include any visual or presentational features.In your speech you should: • identify some of the pressures and stresses that young people face • suggest why these issues may be difficult to deal with • explain some of the ways in which these can be managed. [40]
SCRIPT F
Candidate Exemplar Responses
26
GCSE (9–1) English Language
© OCR 2016
CommentaryAO5: Level 3; AO6: Level 2
There is an awareness of purpose and audience, which is sustained throughout. The response lacks a clearly drawn conclusion but the tone and register are basically appropriate. Expression is mostly secure.
Candidate Exemplar Responses
27
GCSE (9–1) English Language
© OCR 2016
Write a speech for your class in which you argue that violence is not the solution to conflict between people.In your speech you should: • explain why peaceful solutions are better than violent ones • give some examples to support your argument • convince your audience that violence does not solve conflict. [40]
SCRIPT G
Candidate Exemplar Responses
28
GCSE (9–1) English Language
© OCR 2016
CommentaryAO5: Level 2; AO6: Level 1
This response has a basic sense of the genre but it is repetitive and disorganised. The expression is insecure.
Candidate Exemplar Responses
29
GCSE (9–1) English Language
© OCR 2016
Write a speech for your class in which you argue that violence is not the solution to conflict between people.In your speech you should: • explain why peaceful solutions are better than violent ones • give some examples to support your argument • convince your audience that violence does not solve conflict. [40]
SCRIPT H
Candidate Exemplar Responses
30
GCSE (9–1) English Language
© OCR 2016
CommentaryAO5: Level 1; AO6: Level 1
One paragraph of simple description. Expression is insecure.
The
smal
l pri
nt
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