From Warts to Wings: Ten Top Techniques for Helping

Clients Re-Write Their Life Stories

John Sommers-Flanagan, Ph.D.

Department of Counselor Education

University of Montana

John.sf@mso.umt.edu

Johnsommersflanagan.com

Intro Comments Thanks to June and Kelly and Amanda and

SDCA

On my way to Spearfish [And why I wanted to get here]

The Convention Center

This Morning’s Plan Articulate 10+ key principles and strategies of

human change that you can use immediately to help clients, students, parents and yourselves rework personal narratives

A summary handout and powerpoint slides are available at johnsommersflanagan.com

Morning Plan II Organized by chapter: Each chapter has a

story, a cartoon, and a concluding principle

Caveats [June: Just do a talk that’s inspirational, funny, is consistent with the conference theme, and includes counseling strategies.]

Introduction – Expectations

The Principle

Expectations are strong narratives that create positive

transformations or cause frustration and misery

Manage your expectations or they’ll manage you.

Expectations for You

I tell a few stories that illustrate principles and strategies for creating a healthy life narrative and helping students and clients do the same

You listen, laugh at all the right times, and feel inspired

Chapter One: Two Wolves

The Principle

Feed your positive wolf

and

Be aware of and

let go of less desirable thoughts

Chapter Two: The Catatonic Woman

The Principle

We should work hard to not judge clients, students, parents,

and teachers based on their appearance or behavior…or their

Karaoke performances

Chapter Three: Emma the Great

The Principle

Use passionate rewards

and

boring consequences

(and avoid backward behavior modification)

Chapter Four:The Satanic Golden Rule

Trivia Question What is a significant problem or flaw

associated with the Satanic Golden Rule?

Possible Trivia Answers Revenge begets revenge – It never ends

You give away your power and become a negative follower instead of a positive leader

The Principle

Create your own positive respect bubble . . . and watch out for the

REVENGE IMPULSE

Chapter Five: Lemons

The Principle

The lemon IS YELLOW

It’s not what happens to us . . .

But how we think about what happens to us . . .

That causes us misery

Chapter Six: Powers of Mind

The Principle

Use the power of your mind

to creatively and relentlessly focus on your goals

Chapter Seven: Twenty Minutes

The Principle

Be non-directive enough to allow clients and students freedom

and then learn about what they’re trying to master

And remember, clients, and especially young people, may treat you with

ambivalence

Chapter Eight: Meeting Jesus at the Portland VA Hospital

The Principle

If you want genuine cooperation

Be less threatening

Chapter Nine: Learning to Growl

The Principle

Change is easier if

you make a good plan and then follow it

Chapter Ten: That Dog Don’t Hunt

The Principle

Love can overshadow

our own unique faults or warts

Bonus Chapter: Things Change with Time . . . So Pay Attention to Development

The Principle

How you work with clients and students depends on where they

are in terms of their development

Summary and Conclusions Intro: Manage your expectations Feed your positive wolf Be careful in your judgments Use passionate rewards and boring consequences Create your own respect bubble; and watch out

for revenge It’s not what happens to you . . . but how you

think . . .

Summary II Use the power of mind to focus on your goals Learn from observation and remember youth may

treat you with ambivalence If you want genuine cooperation, be less

threatening If you want to change behavior, make an new plan Love can overshadow our warts Pay attention to development