Post on 15-Dec-2015
Disappointing Messages
1.Should not be direct
2.Should not give the bad news first
3.Can be potentially goodwill-killing
Disappointing Messages
4.When giving a satisfactory refusal give good reasons.
A. Show that some of your reasons are beneficial to the other person.
B. Give justifying reasons
C. Do not give excuses
Disappointing MessagesIf you give the refusal first, you will
disappoint and maybe anger the personAn angry person is not a logical personIf you make the psychological mistake of
first saying “NO” and then explaining, the emotional upset from your “NO” will prevent the other person from listening reasonably
Disappointing Messages
Good reasons are dictated by facts, fairness, sound business judgement, or even prior agreement
To be effective, you have to explain some facts, circumstances, or unreasonableness of which the reader is unaware
Disappointing Messages
Start pleasant and positively and give justifying reasons before a refusal, then your logical reasons fall on a logical mind
The reasons which caused you to feel justified in refusing can convince the other person that you are justified. You show the justice of it!
Disappointing Messages
Theme: Explain before Refusing
When you take something away from or deny someone something-
1. You give a reason
2. You give something else to compensate for loss when you can
3. You try to extend some gesture of friendliness
Disappointing Messages
The desired pattern for refusal is:
1.A buffer beginning
2.A review of the facts
3.The refusal itself, subordinated
4.An off-the-subject ending
(sub 3 & 4 with-A counterproposal which implies the refusal.)
Disappointing Messages
The buffer (first paragraph)
1.Begin with something from the situation that both of you can agree on
Two reasons for a buffer:
1.To suggest that they are reasonable persons who can see two sides of the question, and
2.To set the stage for a review of the facts in the case
Disappointing Messages
A good buffer will be:
1.Pleasant, usually agreeing with something the other person has said
2.Relevant, thus quickly showing the subject.
3.Equivocal, avoiding any implication that the answer is yes or no
4.Transitional, carefully worded for a natural movement into the explanation
Disappointing Messages
Six warnings about buffers:
1.Give reasons rather than apologies
2. Never apologize in the beginning
3.Apologies are not substitutes for action or explanation
Disappointing Messages
4.If you give good reasons, you have no cause to apologize
5.Avoid flashy attention getting devices
6.Use the buffer to establish a controlled approach to the topic
Disappointing Messages
We are sorry but we cannot…
We cannot understand why you would think…
Your request for…is totally out of line.
Thank you for writing about…
We appreciate your interest in…
Your request for…caused me to do some thinking.
Disappointing Messages
Give reasons----------emphasize those reasons which reflect benefits to the reader
Stressing reader benefit is important, but cannot be used every time
Disappointing Messages
Use limiting words like-
only
solely
exclusively
confine to
concentrate on
(With these words no doubt remains)
Disappointing Messages
“I have to refuse your request” or
“I hope you will understand our position”
Both of these are very weak sounding!
Disappointing Messages
Give a positive refusal
Your explanation and reasons justify refusing the turndown
Hope the reader will accept without ill feeling
Disappointing Messages
Make the refusal clear, but not brutally negative. It need not be negative at all
Embed the bad news--give reasons after refusal
Establish the idea of what you are not doing by a statement of what you are doing.
Disappointing Messages
Give the refusal a minimum of space and time
When possible, you may be able to make the refusal clear by implication
Do not stress the refusalLetter ending should be hopeful and
pleasant
Disappointing MessagesEnd your letter with a friendly gestureDemonstrate your desire to retain the
friend/customer relationship
Examples:
Good wishes for the success of the project, suggestion of other sources, suggestion of being helpful in other ways, sending something other than what the reader has requested
Disappointing Messages
Do not use negative phrasing or apologies. Such as: “I regret my inability to do as you asked,” “I am sorry…”