Post on 02-Nov-2021
Table of Contents
Forward By Larry Dust………………………………………………………..a On The Cover…………………………………………………………………..b My Family………………….………………………………………………………………001 The Life Story of Kenneth Ray (Joe) Pilk……………………………………008
Meet My Immediate Family…………………………………………………..125
Positive People In My Life……………………………………………………133
Thank You……………………………………………………………………..153
Rules To Live By………………………………………………………………158
Summary……………………………………………………………………….159
Quick Reference Guide…………………………………………………………165
On the cover……b
On The Cover
The picture is of Kenneth Ray (Joe) Pilk. The sketch was drawn in1978, by professional artist, Larry McCammon. Larry drew this while we were working for the Insurance Company. I was in my warehouse uniform and he had me pose. It was such a wonderful picture that I wanted to use it for the cover of this book. Larry I hope that you realize the value I hold with this picture for it is displayed on the wall of my home. I am forever grateful to you.
My Family……1
My Family
Mother, Ruth Malone Pilk: born August 20 1916 to the parents of Walter and
Anna Malone. Ruth was raised in Bloomfield Indiana. Her mother was a
housewife and her father was a common laborer at the local brickyard. Ruth
received her education in Bloomfield, but had to leave high school in the 12th
grade having to get a job to help her parents support their large family. Ruth had
an older sister Mabel, and two younger sisters and brothers. They were Lois,
Juanita, Roy and Earl. She was a giving person, always helping others and lending
a hand to everyone around her. Never in her life did she think of herself first. She
worked her entire life in factories until the retirement age of 62. One outstanding
thing about mother was her devotion and love for her family. As you will discover
what an outstanding lady this woman was, always giving of herself and the love
for those around her. I will try and show just how proud I was of my mother
Some of her outstanding qualities that made her special are;
Kindness- shown to everyone
Patience- teaching that taking your time to think things through, will calm any
situation.
Forgiveness- never held grudges or bad feelings toward anyone.
Honesty- never lied always truthful no matter how difficult the situation.
Family……2
Mother worked a lot of hours helping me to understand my condition and how to
communicate with those around me. She gave many hours of therapy over the
years. My mother is my rock, she is definitely the reason that I turned out to be
the person that I am. I am a direct reflection of her and the things she taught. I
owe her so much that words could never express my feelings for her. I am proud
the good Lord made it possible that I was her son. She always forgave my bad
points. She taught, treat everyone as you want to be treated.
Father, Oscar T. Pilk: born November 18, 1916 to the parents of John and Rosa
Pilk, Oscar was raised and received his education in Bloomfield Indiana. He only
went as far as the 7th grade because he had to leave school to get a job to help
support the family. Oscar had five sisters they were Annabelle, Flossie, Hazel,
Betty and June. He began working at farming for $5.00 per week. Even with his
limited education he was a very intelligent person. He served his country as a
Family……3
member of the United States Army, stationed overseas in England. While in the
service he was very active and skilled in the art of boxing, he was also into
bodybuilding. Bodybuilding will prove to be of great use to Oscar especially
while raising a son later in life. During his life he was troubled with the use of
alcohol. He tried several times to quit drinking or control this demon as he called
it. But like most drinkers he was to dependent upon it. Despite his drinking he
was very family oriented. This came about because of being raised by parents that
were very religious and devoted to their Christian faith. He was a special person
in my life as you will come to realize. During his life Oscar led two kinds of lives,
one being like Dr. Jeckel, the other Mr. Hyde. When he was drinking he was a
mean, hateful, controlling person always looking for trouble and always finding it.
When he wasn’t drinking he was a gentle, kind, and loving person. When he was
in this state, if he had a fault it was that he was too giving, many times doing
without himself to help others around him. Even though he loved his family when
drinking he would verbally and physically abuse them. He would let the kids sit
for hours in an automobile while he was inside a tavern drinking. But drunk or
sober he sometimes worked 7 days a week to support his family. Later in life he
used his intelligence to earn the highest rating in the plumbing field that being a
journeyman ranking. Even with his limited education he learned how to draw up
Family……4
blueprints to exact specification. I was extremely proud of my father and what he
stood for. This is where I gained self-confidence and the ability to be tough. I
have maintained the belief I could accomplish anything I set my mind to. Even
though Oscar had a lot of personal problems he would work with me for hours
getting me to exercise. Oscar would even tape up his hand and learn how to do
things then turn around and teach me how to do them. A lot of people complained
about the way Oscar treated his family but if you were to ask any of them they
would tell you how lucky they were that he was a member of their family and I
was very fortunate that he was my father.
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Grandparents, Ruth’s side Anna (Holt) Malone: Ruth’s mother was a hard
working housewife spending a lot of time with the grandchildren. The grandkids
followed Anna around everywhere. What a lady, she was always so busy, she not
only did the household chores, she raised her own garden. The garden was so
large that she was able to feed several families. Annie also raised hogs thus she
supplied the meat for all these families. Every member of those families helped
out in December with the butchering of the hogs. She raised chickens another
source of meat. Ruth and her mother had squirrel guns and did a
Family……5
lot of hunting. This family was self-sufficient when it came to the food supply.
Annie was without a doubt Joe’s favorite of the grandparents. They remained
close her entire life. She was tough, she chewed tobacco, horseshoe and granger
twist as it was called. In the later stages of her life Annie depended on Joe a lot to
supply transportation and someone she could depend on to spend time with. Joe
really missed Annie after she passed away. Annie lived to be 82 years of age.
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Walter Malone: Ruth’s father was a common laborer and worked at the local
brickyard in Bloomfield. Walter was a very quiet type individual, when he wasn’t
working he loved to spend his leisure hours reading books. His favorite books
were Zane Gray westerns. He and Annie had many clashes over the years and this
was due to their personalities. Annie was out going and Walter being the quiet
type. He then moved to Shelbyville and got a job working at a furniture factory
and lived down the street from Ruth. His bad eating habits eventually led to his
having developed bad health and sugar diabetes. This eventually led to the
removal of both legs then to his death. Walter lived to the age of 65.
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Family……6
Grandparents; Oscar’s side Rosa (Goad) Pilk, Oscar’s mother was a very
religious person, very dedicated to her church. She was the one who babysat for
Ruth while she worked. She is the person mostly responsible for developing the
kids character, learning right from wrong and being taught to always tell the truth.
She was a real disciplinarian for she didn’t spare the rod. This was Karen’s
favorite of the grandparents. Rosa use to teach Karen on the piano. Joe was
always in trouble with her mainly because he was forever causing trouble. Karen
stayed with Rosa during her elderly years, especially when her health began to
fail. She lived to be 61 years of age.
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John Pilk: Oscar’s father was also a common laborer and worked many
different jobs during his life. Most of the time his trade was that of a brick layer
and the rest were spent as a carpenter. John’s father had the last name shortened
from Pilkington to Pilk. John is the grandparent that was always in trouble with
Ruth and Oscar because he showed favoritism with the kids. Joe got anything and
Family……7
everything he wanted and Karen got very little. The only thing she remembers
receiving was a headscarf and she still has it today. He would take Joe
everywhere with him and leave Karen at home. Oscar and Ruth tried to get John
to treat the kids equal but he would have no part of it. John’s health began to fail
him and he died at the age of 60.
C.P. and Me……8
Marriage and Home Life1938-1939
Oscar Pilk and Ruth Malone were married on December 31, 1938 at the
stroke of midnight in a double wedding. Ruth’s sister Lois also was married to
Ernest Chaney. None of the parents of the two couples approved of the spouses
their children chose. But as the years would pass they became use to the kids as
they called them. Oscar and Ruth worked many long hard hours to secure a good
decent life for themselves. Most times they gave a lot of what they had to their
respectful families, because in the 1940 ‘s times were hard and jobs were scarce.
Oscar was farming making $5.00 a week and Ruth was working in a factory. Ruth
landed a job working for the Government making army supplies. Oscar got a
Government sponsored job working a C.C. Camp his duties consisted of planting
trees and other small projects.
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The Beginning 1940-1941
Times were hard but Ruth and Oscar made ends meet and Ruth continued to
work for the Government at Crane Ammunition in Crane Indiana. Oscar had
C.P. and Me……9
made the decision enlisting in the United States Army. After completing basic
training Oscar came home on leave. Oscar and Ruth kept her doctor’s
appointment Ruth wasn’t feeling well. They were told Ruth was pregnant and to
both their surprises Ruth was expecting twins. The due date was late November or
early December. Oscar was sent overseas to England for his tour of duty. On
December 7th 1941, Ruth gave birth through caesarean operation to twins. This
date is important not only because of their birth but also to all Americans. The
Day of Infamy the day Japan bombed Pearl Harbor. Complication during the
operation but a little boy arrived at 10:20 p.m. (this is the life story of this boy),
weighting in at 5lb 5oz. The little girl arrived at 10:23 p.m. and weighted 5lb
even. Ruth suffered greatly during and after the operation and developed childbed
fever. After the twins were released from the hospital Ruth had an extended stay.
The doctors released a statement following her release from the hospital that she
had almost died while in recovery. Once home Ruth immediately noticed
something was wrong with her son. She noted whenever she moved his right arm
it would curl back up in the fetal position. Maybe his arm was cramping she
would keep a close eye on him. Ruth and Oscar felt a great blessing having these
two children. Their love was evident as they proceeded to raise the kids.
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C.P. and Me……10
Changing of Times 1942
Ruth went back to work at her job at the Crane Ammunition Center and the
grandmother Rosa began to watch the children. Ruth would come home and then
work late into the night caring for the kids. Oscar was still overseas in England
therefore all the responsibility of the children fell upon Ruth. She contacted the
doctor about her son and they agreed to give him a physical examination. After
this was done they told Ruth her son had during the time he left the hospital
gotten Infantile Paralysis. He had also come down with Polio. Ruth was
devastated how could this be possible in such a short span of time. The doctor’s
findings were (1) the paralysis had cause severe tendon and nerve damage and left
slight mental retardation. The nerves in his spine were wrapped around the spine
similar to rubber bands wrapped in a golf ball. The paralysis is a lot like a
stroke.(2) the polio has cause his right arm and hand to be in the condition it is in.
The doctors said the boy would most likely never be able to function like a
normal child and they recommended placing him in a institution for the physical
and mental impaired.
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C.P. and Me……11
Parents Concerned 1943
Ruth noted that the twins were growing. The boy out weighted the girl and he
was having a lot of problems. His movements were not as normal as his sister’s
and his mental ability was a lot slower than his sister. Oscar had just completed
his stay with the Army and was now at home. Both parents believed their son was
somewhat different than his sister but no one could convince them that there son
belonged in an institution. The nickname Joe as they called him was slow on
learning but he always picked up on things by watching his sister. Because of
their love for him is probably what saved Joe from being placed in an institution.
They also put a lot of pressure on him to learn things even though he was only
two years old. Raising twins was very costly and Joe’s special condition required
even more money. There insurance was shot due to the extended stay by Ruth in
the hospital and from all the special attention Joe needed. Karen began to take
steps and was walking a short time later. Joe was still scooting around on his
behind and couldn’t maintain his balance when they tried to get him to take steps.
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Parent’s Take Action 1944
Oscar and Ruth were not satisfied with the doctor’s findings and for them to
C.P. and Me……12
suggest placing their son in an institution was ridiculous. Never having heard of
getting a second opinion they again asked what could be done because they had
decided to raise Joe at home. The doctors mentioned that there was a hospital in
Indianapolis Indiana that dealt with children. Oscar and Ruth knew that this was
not only a long way from home but also they were financially strapped. Their
final decision was to work with Joe themselves. The doctor’s had already said no
operation could be done on someone with a paralysis condition. The couple
figured that physical therapy would help his hand and maybe even his leg. They
both didn’t believe Joe was retarded yes he did have a mental condition anyone
could see that but they felt that he was slow in the learning ability. They felt that
he could learn because when Karen did things Joe would try to do them. The
doctors had no idea how these two unbelievable people would handle this difficult
problem. Raising Joe at home had to be the answer for the most part people
placed in an institution usually never progress or improve quite the opposite their
condition usually worsens.
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Home Treatment 1945
Both Oscar and Ruth were working full time jobs. Oscar had gotten a job as a
plumber at a firm in Bloomfield. Ruth was still working for the Government at
C.P. and Me……13
Crane Indiana. She would come home from working all day and do household
chores fixing meals, cleaning, cooking, and laundry. Then later she would take
time to massage Joe’s bad arm and leg. This went on 7 days a week without a
miss. Oscar would also spend quality time playing with the kids. After supper he
would do light exercises with Joe. He would have to repeat the instructions each
night because of Joe slow learning process. The parents because they treated the
twins so different they felt pain for having to treat Joe the way they did. Karen
was so bright and learned quickly. Joe was the complete opposite. The parent’s
not once let Joe see their pain, for feeling sorry for him was out of the question.
Karen was a direct influence on Joe because he always tried to do the things she
did. She was always cheering him on to accomplish the task he was attempting.
The kids did everything together laughed, cried, and even got into trouble together
almost driving the parents insane. Ruth and Oscar learned to cope with how the
twins acted. Raising Joe at home began to pay off when he finally took his first
steps a couple of months before his fourth birthday. The parents were delighted
this only proved that their decision to raise him at home was the correct one.
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C. P. and Me……14
Schooling Begins 1946
Joe’s improvement was coming along so well that he was starting to take hold
and do the thing normal kids do. His speech was to the point that at least you
could make out what he was trying to say. Ruth and Oscar enrolled the kids in the
first grade at Lyons elementary school. The kids were only 5 years of age but
because they would be going on 6 years of age by the start of school they were
allowed to attend. The parent’s informed the school of Joe’s slow learning ability
but the teachers said that would not be a problem. They said they had the time
needed to give him the attention he needed. But as the school year progressed Joe
was falling farther and farther behind in the classroom. Karen offered to do some
of his work but the parents refused. Joe was stubborn and lazy and his attention
span was short which led to a lot of daydreaming. He did put enough time in and
effort to barely pass the 1st grade.
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Accident and a New School 1947
During the summer Joe loved to play outside and living in the country was the
best especially for him. He loved to play by himself at school kids made fun of
him, here he was free to be himself. He still carried his arm in the fetal position
C. P. and Me……15
also he walked on his toes of his right foot instead of putting his heel down first.
When he became tired he would sort of drag his right leg instead of taking proper
steps. Joe was a problem child in the fact that if his parent’s told him to do
something he usually did just the opposite. One weekend his mother was busy in
the yard raking leaves and small broken limbs. Once she finished the front yard
she lit a fire and began to burn the pile with instruction to stay clear. She then
went to the back yard and began raking. Meanwhile Joe was playing in the front
yard and began running through the hot ashes he slipped and fell into the ashes
falling on his good left side of his body. He let out a piercing scream. Ruth
horrified ran to his aid, his clothes had caught on fire by the time she had got the
fire out he had severe burns to his entire left side. She immediately took him
inside removing the clothes cleaning the burnt area. She placed medication on his
wounds and covered the area with salve then wrapping the area very carefully.
For the next several months Joe had to be spooned fed clothed and taken care of
like a baby for he had no use of his body. With no mobility he was a totally
different child. Because of this traumatic ordeal Joe had learned a valuable lesson.
From that point in his life, he listened to instruction given him especially during
workouts he would strive to improve his physical condition. He realized that he
never wanted to be in that condition ever again. Ruth took a job working out of
C.P. and Me……16
their home as a telephone operator in Newberry Indiana. She enrolled the kids
into the second grade at Switz City elementary school.
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Another School 1948
Oscar changed jobs taking a job at Cates Plumbing and Heating in Bloomfield
Indiana. The family moved to Bloomfield just after the kids completed the
second grade. Joe again struggled through the school year. At a meeting between
the parent’s and teachers it was decided to be in the best interest of Joe to retain
him to the second grade. He would have passed the second grade however they all
felt that he needed more time to improve his skills in the classroom. This year the
kids spent most of their summer with their grandmother Anna. She lived next
door to her daughter Juanita, the kids really enjoyed being around their aunt and
uncle Juanita and Jay Daniels. The Daniels would add a new member to their
family a daughter Vicki. The kids and Vicki would remain close the rest of their
lives. Joe was beginning to talk and pronounce words a lot better and his physical
workouts his parent’s put him through was making him a lot stronger. Everything
they did would not prevent his arm from being in the fetal position but his leg and
foot were getting better. Oscar came up with a discipline whenever he caught Joe
walking on his toe rather than putting his heel down first Oscar would physically
C. P. and Me……17
kick Joe in the behind. After several incidents Joe began to automatically put his
heel down first. Karen again did outstanding work in the 3rd grade. Joe did a lot
better in the 2nd grade and now was totally dependent upon himself no longer
could his sister look out for him. The kids were enrolled at Bloomfield elementary
school. The teachers felt moving around from school to school was part of the
problem that caused Joe so much trouble along with being a slow learner. But the
fact that Joe was totally dependent upon himself was probably the one factor that
started the improvement in his life.
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Moving Again 1949
Times were tough but Oscar and Ruth were always striving to provide a better
life for their family. Moving around and different schools were the results of these
efforts. Having a son with special needs meant the cost of providing these needs
were enormous and also raising a daughter having her needs. Oscar had received
training while working in the plumbing field and now had the classification of a
certified journeyman plumber. This is the highest rating one can achieve in the
plumbing field not bad for someone with only a 7th grade education. Being
certified he was able to land a job at Flack Plumbing and Heating in Shelbyville
Indiana. Ruth was able to get a job at a factory the Cinch Corporation in
Shelbyville. After working for a couple of months they moved their family to
C. P. and Me……18
Shelbyville they resided in the country. Joe was happy he liked living in the
country and he continued his physical exercise program which improved his
strength especially to his right side. The kids were again going to another school
the oldest school in Shelby County Little Marion grade school. This new school
caused a new problem here the classes were 1st and 2nd same room, 3rd and 4th
same room 5th and 6th same room. This meant Joe’s 3rd grade and Karen’s 4th
grade were together. Oscar always asked Karen how Joe acted and Karen always
telling the truth well as you guessed Joe was always in trouble. Not only did the
teachers punish him but when he got home his father gave him a second dose. The
most embarrassing was the time he had to sit in front of both classes in the corner
of the room with a dunce hat on for throwing paper wads.
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Being On His Own 1950
The following year Karen was in the 5th grade and Joe was in the 4th meaning
different rooms. Joe now had his freedom back and the only time he got into
trouble was when the teachers sent a note home. Karen could no longer defend
Joe from the bullies. Joe was getting stronger his father was now working out
with him. Both parents continued to do the massages and rubdowns but still his
arm was in the fetal position. And his arm continued to gain strength. Joe was on
the shy side mainly because he was ashamed and embarrassed about his
C. P. and Me……19
physical appearance. There was trouble at home because Ruth and Oscar were
always praising Karen for her grades rightfully so, because of his grades, due to
being lazy and daydreaming looking for self- pity and trying to blame his
handicap for his bad grades. His parents didn’t buy into this they knew the
problem was all his doing. So they began to apply more pressure to work harder
on both his grades and his physical workouts. This method began to pay off when
Joe finally realized and took responsibility for his actions. Once he realized that
being different was good something his mother had been telling him all along.
Being proud of who he was and the separation in school from his sister was the
turning point. The twins were finally assuming separate identities. During this
school year his grades started improving.
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Moving Again 1951
Ruth and Oscar after working all day were still coming home each evening and
worked with Joe on his therapy. This year would be a lot different because Joe
would start to workout on his own. This would be a great relief to his parents
although Ruth continued the massages. Tired of driving 12 miles back and forth to
work each day they found a house in town to rent. Moving to town had many
benefits and the kids got a new babysitter their Aunt Mable. Joe and Karen both
thought a lot of this lady. They entered a new school Colescott elementary school.
C. P. and Me……20
Karen entered the 6th grade and Joe was now in the 5th grade. The school was
just a block away from where they lived. They would walk to school with their
friends mostly neighborhood kids. Unlike the country where they rode the bus and
the only friends they had were the kids on the bus. Usually at home Joe would
still play by himself because he had become accustomed being alone. He was still
somewhat self-conscious about his arm and the way it looked. Joe was doing a lot
better in school but not near as well as Karen.
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Twins Separate 1952
The kids were now going to be on their own. Joe was entering the 6th grade
and would be attending Colescott. Karen was entering the 7th grade and would be
going to Shelbyville Junior High. Joe handled the transition very well mainly
because of the neighbor kids he now ran around with. The teachers during the
year notified Joe’s parents that Joe was passing but was on the lazy side and
needed to be confronted with this issue. The teachers did agree that Joe was a
slow learner and was in no way retarded. But when he became lazy it tended to
look like he was retarded. During the one on one the teachers had with Joe they
discovered he showed great interest in the world of sports. At home Joe would sit
around and feel sorry for himself. Things like why did this happen to me? Why
did my arm have to be like this? Joe became resentful toward normal kids and
C. P. and Me……21
would pick fights with them. Oscar found out that Joe was the troublemaker and
began whipping him as a form of punishment. Eventually Joe got the message and
he quit starting fights. However it was to late all the bullies came looking for him
he was a easy win for any of them. Oscar and Ruth sat down one evening and
after awhile devised a new approach to use with Joe.
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Another School 1953
Enough is enough. Oscar was tired of the fact that Joe was coming home
almost three or four times a week beaten up by the bullies at school. Yes when
this all started it was Joe’s fault however now he had become the victim. Oscar
decided to teach Joe the art of self-defense. By his teaching him he would no
longer suffer from those taking advantage of him. Agreement was reached that he
would not start any fight just be able to defend himself. The parents new strategy
was to get Joe to read about his favorite subject sports. What kind of sports was
he most interested in? Joe told them anything to do with basketball. Oscar told Joe
that if he worked harder in school and brought up his grades he would let him
attend the high school games at the high school gym. Also he would buy books
and magazines for him to read on basketball. Joe was excited and agreed and
when the grading period came around sure enough his grades were very much
improved. Keeping their word the basketball material started rolling in and they
C. P. and Me……22
soon discovered his reading skills were improving and the more he read the
harder he worked in school. He was becoming very knowledgeable about
basketball. He knew all 400 plus high school teams and even their nicknames. He
also could tell you most of the star players on many of the teams. The proud
parents knew this showed that their son was in no way retarded. They took their
son back to the doctors and showed them the improvement both mentally and
physically. The doctors were amazed they did however notice Joe’s arm was still
in the fetal position. He was still walking with a limp but his improvement was
there for everyone to see. Joe had picked up a bad habit smoking it was easy for
him to get cigarettes because both of his parents smoked. Oscar then ordered a
new body building course. Dynamic Tension exercises and the way they worked
was you use a light metal bar and use it as if had regular weights attached. Your
mind-set is convinced that you are lifting a lot of weight when you really are only
lifting the bar. After several minutes your muscles become tense and your arms
become tired. By doing this repeatedly you would not believe the results. Joe was
trying to run like normal kids but was stumbling and falling a lot but he kept on
trying. He purchased an old bicycle and began to ride it everywhere and it helped
strengthen his bad leg. Joe’s improvement physically began to turn around and he
was so much better. His love at that time was studying basketball. He was reading
about high school, college, and professional level. His real passion was the high
C. P. and Me……23
school level. His grades continued to improve because of his reading skills. Oscar
and Ruth realized that the way to unlocking the ability to get Joe’s to respond was
through basketball. He loved for people to try and stump him on high school
trivia. That year he started attending all the high school games and he told his
parents he often dreamed of being a star basketball player. Oscar suggested that
he try and learn how to play the game. Joe was ashamed of his condition and was
afraid kids would make fun of him. One day Oscar approached Joe’s friends and
asked them what Joe talked about when he was with them. They said all he talked
about was a star player that played on the Saint Paul basketball team. He was left
-handed and his name was John Randolph. Oscar contacted John and explained
his son’s admiration for him and told John about Joe’s physical condition. Oscar
convinced John to come over on weekends and work with Joe on the game of
basketball. John agreed to try. After a few lessons John noticed how Joe listened
intently and worked very hard. During the week Joe would hurry home from
school and practice and he looked forward to John’s coming over on Saturdays.
Joe’s first responsibility was to do his chores then he was free to practice his new
sport. Every day he would practice till dark then go home. Joe didn’t want to
upset Oscar who would ground him if things weren’t going right. Because he was
so active and not feeling sorry for himself Oscar rarely prevented his son from
C. P. and Me……24
practicing. The only times Joe wasn’t on the court was during punishment or
because other kids were already there. When this happened, you would find Joe
working out in the alley behind his house he was working then on the
fundamentals of the game. One day a young man who lived on the street behind
Joe’s house they shared the same alley. This young man was Ted Honey he came
up to Joe and told him he could play at his basketball goal located in the alley.
Ted was a couple years younger than Joe and over the next several months they
played a lot of ball on that court. One night near dark Joe was leaving the court to
go home when Ted’s father came out and told Joe that they had installed lights
and he could play anytime. He also notified Joe’s parents that he and his wife had
done this deed for both his son and Joe. Other kids would come over to play but
Ted’s parents told them it was a private court. Later in life Joe looked back and
was forever grateful to Ted and his parents.
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Work Ethics 1954
Joe suddenly began reading everything he could get his hands on about
basketball and the fundamentals of the game. He was always practicing basketball
during his free time. He was gaining self-confidence and getting better at the
game but he was also learning another valuable lesson and that was working hard
at anything pays off. His grades were now a “C” average not bad for someone that
C. P. and Me……25
was classified as a slow learner. Just to think two years ago his report card for the year
contained 23 D’s on it. He made up his mind he wanted some of the praise his sister was
getting with her “B” average grades. Joe felt he was ready to make a move so he called up
John Randolph and challenged him to a game of one on one. He knew he wasn’t going to
beat him but wanted to find out just how good he had become. At first John was reluctant
but changed his mind when he saw Joe wasn’t going to take no for an answer. John had Joe
promise; not to get mad over the results should he get beat. Final score was John 20 Joe10.
What an improvement John was really proud of his student. A few weeks later Joe was
practicing at the school when a group of boys came to play. Joe who usually packed up and
left however this time one of the boy’s trying to show off in front of his friends challenged
Joe to a game of one on one. Joe's confidence was high especially after playing his teacher.
These guys had never seen Joe play ball, as the game progressed Joe’s confidence kept
growing final score Jim 20 Joe 18. Yes Joe lost for the second time in a row but he had
gained the boy’s respect. The boy who had played Joe immediately apologized and said
buddy you really can play. They ought to call you The One Armed Bandit. Later Joe found
out that Jim was the star player on the eight- grade team. This only meant one thing to Joe
he would have to work a lot harder at the game. Joe called up his coach and asked for
advice. The teacher told Joe he had to learn to protect the ball on his right side
C. P. and Me……26
because everyone he played was stealing the ball. This meant Joe was getting
fewer shots during the game and at the same time his opponents were getting
more points. Once he learned how to protect the ball he would start winning. Joe
was already an accomplished shooter he finished the eight grade and worked hard
on the protection of the ball.
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Joe Finding Himself 1955
During the summer he worked long and hard at the fundamentals of the game
and the ability to protect the ball. Joe called Jim up the boy who had beaten him
20 to 18 and challenged him to another game. After the game was played the final
score was Joe 20, Jim 12. Joe had reached one of his goals and he was now proud
of who he was and what his father had told him that working hard pays off. Oscar
was still working with Joe on his physical therapy and used basketball as a tool at
getting Joe to work harder at improving his disability. The harder he worked the
more basketball he could play. Joe began playing basketball at another location
where the competition was a lot better. This small kid kept coming up to the
Hendricks school ground wanting to play on one of the teams as they were
chosen. Joe remembering the feeling of not being chosen decided to let this kid
play on his team. That was a smart move on Joe’s part because not only did the
kid get good he developed into one of the best players ever to play the game from
C. P. and Me……27
Shelbyville. He was an all around athlete in a couple of sports. Also David
Randolph is the brother of John who was the teacher or coach of Joe in the
beginning. Joe still suffered from depression at times because of his disability.
When this happened his mother would remind him how lucky he was to be
different, and that God had a plan for him and it was up to Joe to find out what
that plan is and execute it. That statement would have a dramatic impact on Joe
for the rest of his life. Joe started mowing yards and doing yard clean up work.
Joe was so busy and was getting all the jobs in the neighborhood that his mother
inquired as to why he was getting the jobs she feared that it was out pity because
of his handicap. She was grateful to find out it was because of the superior work
he was doing. -
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A Humbling Affair 1956
Joe was gaining confidence and he used his well developing sport and
physical exercise program to go about making his mother statement; God has a
plan for you and the need to help others come true. He wanted to complete his
destiny and see that all this came true while she was alive and well. His parents
had sacrificed a lot to bring about the changes in his well being. Joe was now in
the 9th grade and because of his self-confidence he was visible to those around
him. His attitude was changing for the better and he no longer carried a chip on
C. P. and Me……28
his shoulder. He was no longer daydreaming in school he was now grasping at
every angle always striving to learn more. His basketball skills were of the
unbelievable range especially for his physical condition. Physically he was so
much stronger he was now walking and running and he still carried his arm in
the fetal position. Still he was learning to use his right arm to some extent and
when he was done with any jobs it would return to the fetal position. Joe
however felt lucky because most of the kids he saw that had Polio hardly could
use their arms or most of them their arms just hung limp at their sides. Joe was
the one choosing up teams instead of hoping to be chosen. One of Joe’s close
friends, John Drew was an outstanding tennis player for the school and he was
very good at basketball. If John was going to college then tennis was his future.
A group of kids Joe, John, Tim Fuller, Jim Wells, Terry Amos, and Larry Lee all
hung out together. Joe’s two other friends Joe Come, and Joe Krick were part of
the group. Joe challenged his close friend Harl Knose to a game of basketball but
Harl who stood 6’ 3” was just too tall and too good for Joe who was only 5’ 4”.
The final score of the game was Harl 20, Joe10. This was a humbling experience
for Joe making him realize no matter how good you are someone is always
better. Joe got a job that summer stocking shelves at a small grocery store Kings
grocery in the mornings. In the afternoons he mowed yards for the store owners
brother-in-law. Because of his attitude change Joe was very popular at school
C. P. and Me……29
and the people in the community were so use to Joe no one hardly noticed he was
handicap.
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Staying Humble 1957
While Joe was playing basketball with neighborhood friends a young man
approached and he was with a couple of friends. He had heard of Joe’s playing
ability and challenged him to a game. Joe knew he was showing off so he
politely declined. The young man would not give up so Joe’s friends convinced
Joe to play. Joe told the young man (George), to show up Sunday afternoon and
to bring his friends along. After our game we can play your friends verses my
friends. George showed up with his friends on Sunday and Joe met him there
with his buddies. They decided to play the game for a coke at that time it cost 5
cents. When the game ended the score was Joe 20, George 14. George was so
upset that he demanded another game for double or nothing. These games
continued on until George owed a total of $51.20, there had been 11 games
played. George who lived with his religious Aunt was so afraid that she would
find out that he had been gambling that he took his paper route earnings and
paid Joe in full. George and Joe grew up and are still friends today. That
summer Joe worked at the local golf course shagging golf balls and learning the
C. P. and Me……30
art of being a caddy. His friend John Alexander whose father was the grounds
keeper taught Joe how to caddy. Joe learned well his services were requested by
many businessmen including doctors and lawyers. What really won him over
was his outstanding attitude, his work habits, and his dependability.
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Attaining A Goal 1958
Deciding he was now ready to play organized basketball and now entering
the 10th grade. Joe felt his skills were at a level that he could go out for the
school team and be competitive. He really liked the coach who he had met
through a class he taught at the school. He also was to meet with the Athletic
Director who he also knew through a class he taught. After meeting with them
and they discussed his needing a waiver signed because if an injury occurred to
his handicapped side that was caused by anything other than school activity, the
school had to protect itself, a legal obligation. Joe asked his father to sign the
wavier and Oscar was totally upset. He would not sign anything besides the
other kids going out for the team did not sign waivers. As you might have
guessed no school ball for Joe even though he knew he was better than most of
the players. This incident didn’t bother Joe he had come a long way and he
understood both sides. His father wanted his son to be treated fairly. The school
had to protect itself from any legal standpoint. Joe’s health insurance at that
C. P. and Me……31
time was not sufficient enough to allow him to be treated like everyone else
trying out for the team. Joe would always remain close to Coach and the
Athletic Director. The Athletic Director always referred to Joe as “Big Boy”
during gym class, Joe was the smallest kid in class standing 5’ 4” tall. After the
team was chosen Joe challenged all the bench players to games and beat all of
them. This was Joe's way of showing that he should have been on the team. He
never challenged the starting five because he never felt that he was the best
player if selected to the team. People in the community use to remark after
seeing Joe play how good he was and that he didn’t let his being different stand
in the way. Joe’s friends talked him into joining a league team at the local
Armory. Energy and self-confidence level was at an all time high during his
first game at the armory and he did and outstanding job. Joe worked hard on his
game however defense would always be a weakness, mainly because he was
limited to defense because of his limited use to his right side. School grades
were now at a high “C” average and he continued to study and read as much as
he could. Along with his physical exercise program left little or no spare time
for Joe. His arm was still in the fetal position and this bothered Joe but he
accepted the fact that nothing could be done about it. Working summer odds
and end jobs was what he did because landing a full summer job was impossible
because most people when he was interviewed automatically judged by his
C. P. and Me……32
appearance that he could not perform the job. This all changed when he
interviewed with a small landscaping firm for a job and presented references
from the grocery store and all the yard work he had done for his customers. His
parents informed him that it was their wish that he go on to college or trade
school after high school. So the rest of the time in high school was spent in
mental and physical preparation.
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Needing To Be Equal 1959
Surrounding himself with new friends and at the same time keeping his old
ones was important to Joe. His friend Harl had moved away but Joe became
friend with Mike Warfield and they would become life long friends. They went
everywhere together. Mike only had a 3rd grade education but through life
experience he had mastered about all the skills needed to be a success in life.
Mike had been born with a hole in his heart and wasn’t expected to live to be 21
years of age. Joe’s new attitude the “ I can do anything” got him into trouble
sometimes when he failed to consider his limitations and tried to do things that
physically he could not accomplish. A young man at school who was considered
a nerd tried to shed his image by trying to pick a fight with Joe. Joe’s dad had
taught Joe to try and walk away first. Karen who was walking home with Joe
from school told Stuart to get lost, and if he said another word she was going to
C. P. and Me……33
deck him. He said “Oh is that your boyfriend”, not knowing Joe was her brother.
Karen who had skills in the art of boxing due to her father’s teaching let go a left
jab and hit Stuart between the eyes, breaking his glasses and he fell to the ground.
No one ever bothered them again after that incident. Joe also used his basketball
skills to get the better of people it was a lot easier than fighting. Joe was now
getting closer and closer to being a normal child because of his workouts. But his
arm was a constant problem because it remained in the fetal position and because
of his fingers cramping. He excelled in two subjects in school math and history.
He loved to read anything to do with law and he liked reading Front Page
Detective a magazine his mother subscribed to. Karen was in her senior year and
would be graduating high school. She plans to attend Porter College a business
college in Indianapolis Indiana next year. At school Joe excelled in another
subject and it was art. This subject would bring forth a new side to him where he
could express himself and he had a lot of raw skill. His teacher Mrs. Williams
spent a lot of extra time with Joe to further improve his skills. The parents
struggled financially because now they had to come up with money needed for the
coming year of sending their daughter to college, but these two outstanding
people would provide a way. Joe was still working during the summer but his
parents wanted him to take drivers education that was handled by the high school.
Joe signed up for the course and the school insisted he take the course in an
C. P. and Me……34
automatic transmission automobile. It was optional at the school you also could
choose standard shift automobiles. Joe wanted to take the course in a standard
shift but the school felt with his arm in the fetal position, he would have
difficulty shifting the gears on the automobile. Oscar stepped in and supported his
sons decision because as he put it “we’ve taught him to try and accomplish things
and this happened to be one of those times. Finally an instructor stepped forward
and offered to let Joe take the course in a standard shift, it was none other than
Joe’s friend Coach Dee Compton. Dee would let Joe go to the car early and
practice shifting before class started. With Coach Compton patience Joe passed
the course and received advice from his friend. Coach Compton told him
“ACCOMPLISH THE THINGS YOU CAN DO, AND ACCEPT AND WORK
ON THE THINGS YOU CANNOT DO”.
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Mother Gets Hurt 1960
While doing well in school Joe was struggling at home. He and his father were
having a lot of clashes. His father when he was drinking would verbally and
physically abuse the family. Karen said she wasn’t putting up with it any longer
and shortly thereafter moved out on her own. Joe was watching basketball on a
small television set his parents had gotten him for doing so well in school. Oscar
came in from drinking and demanded Joe turn the set off. Joe being careful not to
C. P. and Me……35
upset his father explained, that the game was almost over and he would then shut
it off and he did turn its volume down low. Oscar went into a rage picked the
television set up and hurled it through the air striking the wall and smashing into
pieces. Joe lost it he said “what is your problem you’re always coming home
starting trouble”. Oscar shoved Joe and Joe shoved him back causing Oscar to
fall. He quickly jumped to his feet and threw a punch at Joe. Ducking the punch
Joe didn’t realize his mother was standing behind him and the punch struck her
between the eyes. Here she was trying to break up the fight. Oscar shouted “see
what you caused”, and promptly gave Joe a terrible beating. Ruth went to work
the next day and told everyone what happened. Upon entering the 12th grade a lot
of changes were about to occur in Joe’s life. Over the summer Joe grew from 5’
4’ to 6’ 2’ in height. His weight went from 121 to 144 pounds. He was a tall
skinny kid. His basketball skills that of a small back court player to that of a
player who could play any position. The center position became his favorite
position. He now with this additional height could do it all. He could score, pass,
rebound and make assist. Passing was his favorite thing to do but he still struggled
at playing defense mainly because of his physical condition. One thing he use to
do a lot of was push off with his bad arm and got by with it because no one was
able to determine if he could control the arm. Joe could touch the rim however
due to his right leg was never able to dunk the ball. Fans loved to watch him play
C. P. and Me……36
they were amazed at the things he could do with one hand. He was doing all this
with little effort. His two top qualities were assisting others and being unselfish,
he would carry these with him the rest of his life. Joe carried a solid “B” average
his senior year working hard hitting the books so he could go on to college the
next year. Several college counselors came to the high school trying to encourage
seniors to commit to advance education. Crossroads Rehabilitation was there to
offer handicap students financial packages for those who could not afford
otherwise. The counselor made an appointment to meet with Joe and his parents.
After the meeting it was decided that the State would pay all financial
responsibility except for room and board. Joe and his parents were excited
because this lifted a heavy burden off of them. Joe chose Indiana Central Business
College in Indianapolis, Indiana. He would study toward an accounting degree,
and also study his favorite subject business law. Making things even easier was
the fact that one of the teachers from the college lived in Shelbyville and Joe
would be riding back and forth to school with Mr. Joe Basey. Joe worked the
summer stocking shelves at a grocery store and he mowed lawns in the
neighborhood. He took a 3rd part time job working at a pizza shop in the evenings.
Working at the 3 jobs generated more income than most people working full time
jobs. Joe’s belief was, Continue to stay busy, learning how to function physically,
mentally, and socially are important to anyone especially those with C. P. Joe was
C. P. and Me……37
able to purchase a car, a 1955 Chevy with standard floor shift. He also used some
of the money toward his college expenses. Joe took private lesson out of Franklin
Indiana to improve his art at the request of his art instructor Mrs. Williams.
During the year Joe lost a good friend to cancer. Phillip Phares was one year
younger than Joe and they had been friends since early childhood. Continuing to
keep himself in shape because he wanted to be ready to handle everything college
threw at him. Oscar and Ruth purchased a new home during the year and it was
within one block of the high school. Joe asked why they had waited so long to get
their own place. Oscar responded that there were two reason, (1) because this was
the first time we felt we could afford one, (2) we felt you needed to walk to school
because of your condition. The length of the walk to school was 1 mile. Joe was
doing so much better mentally and was extremely popular in the community. Joe
asked his mother if she had any idea why he and his father were having clashes all
the time. Ruth told him that she felt him and his father were so much alike.
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Starting College 1961
Before leaving high school Joe had one last time to visit with his friend,
teacher, coach, Dee Compton who smiled and visited with Joe and this time was
no different than the rest. This was a man Joe truly respected and admired and
always looked to for advice. He told Joe
C. P. and Me……38
“Always set your own direction in life, always strive to succeed. Remember if
you try and fail, learn from it. By working hard only good can come from that.
Learn how to cope with the difficult people in life, try and turn them around.
Remember people who ridicule and make fun of you in life, are lacking
something in their life so strive to help them.” Now go out and conquer the
world.” Starting college was like starting high school, except for a different set of
rules. A new style of learning and the big difference was, you were totally
dependent upon yourself. Attending classes, getting assignments, completing
assignments, and being held solely accountable for graduating. Here it was you
and you alone where as in high school you relied on your parents and teachers.
Self- motivation was your main tool and this is where Joe stepped up and did a lot
of growing up. Here Joe met many handicap students, some from birth defects,
others from accidents. Learning to treat them all the same was the trick. You learn
quickly that most handicap students that go beyond high school are self-sufficient.
However a few still try and use their disability to gain sympathy from their
fellow students. Seeing normal students pull pranks on handicap students and take
unfair advantage happened a few times. But most handicap were like himself,
asking for nothing only to being treated equally. Indiana Central Business College
was the right choice, the instructor that Joe rode back and forth to college with,
Mr. Joe Basey, always gave sound advice. Joe studied hard in college but Mr.
C. P. and Me……39
Basey felt Joe could work harder. Joe became aggressive being on his own and
was definitely earning his way through school. After all someone else was paying
the bills, therefore it was his responsibility to produce the grade and pass the
courses. Other handicap students saw how proud Joe was of himself and started to
look to him for guidance, and Joe realized his up bringing by his parents was the
reason he was able to handle these situations. Helping others was a type
leadership role that Joe was well suited for, but he only associated and surrounded
himself with people who treated him equally. He had no time for troublemakers or
pranksters. People who wanted pity or who showed pity were not associated with
him. One day while walking between classes he was approached by a lady
instructor who ask “young man I’ve got a question to ask you”. Joe responded
“ask away.” She said “Well I see you signed up for business law this coming
semester, why haven’t you signed up for typing?” Joe responded “ first, business
law is my favorite subject and second, I truly don’t know how to type since I’ve
never taken typing. In high school my disability held me back because they didn’t
have the extra necessary time to spend on teaching me. I could have taken it but
being so slow would have made my grade average drop therefore I took a class to
keep my grades up.” The instructor said “you need typing to prepare important
papers for your finals, plus the need to type resumes for potential job search after
college. You know if you take the course the other
C. P. and Me……40
kids who look to you for direction will also take the course. Let me tell you who I
am, I’m the typing instructor and before I came to work here I was the Drill
Instructor for the Armed Services, besides I know I can teach you to type. Take
this manual home with you and study up, let the other students know you’re
taking the course. Then as they come to me I will send them home with a manual.
See you next semester.” Joe stood there stunned, never before had anyone been so
blunt or demanding. Yet she showed she believed in his ability to take the typing
course. Joe was excited about learning something new and read the manual while
practicing on his mother’s old typewriter. Taking the typing course the next
semester he passed with a “B” average. However upon taking the word per minute
test he lost for the first time to another handicap student. That student averaged 29
words per minute compared to Joe’s 26 words per minute. Joe had many friends
at college a few were Chuck Kesterson, Tony Conger, Darryl Sample and the late
Ivan Trinkle. Carolyn Cook was his best friend in College and she today is using
her education as a banking executive. Joe misses all the friends he had during
college but knew he was blessed to have met so many wonderful people. Back at
home one weekend Joe heard his father verbally abusing his mother, Joe stepped
in and told his dad to cool it. Joe just didn’t understand why his mother had put up
with it all these years but down deep he knew it was because she truly loved him
and because of the kids. Oscar got mad and swung at Joe, Joe ducked and the
C. P. and Me……41
punch struck the wall behind Joe and went completely through into the other
room. Oscar stormed out of the house. The next day after sobering up he cut the
damaged spot out of the wall and framed the wall from both sides and placed a
telephone in the new opening. The next day friends came over and noted what a
keen idea this was now you could access the telephone from both rooms. Oscar
spoke up and said he was tired of running to answer the phone and came up with
this idea. Joe has kept practicing on the typewriter and as you can see what you
are reading are the results. Joe has submitted several articles to several local
newspapers and a few of them have been used.
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Realizing Your Limits 1962
Finishing up college at reaching the degree that he was striving for Joe realized
how fast the last two years had flown by. He hated leaving his friends, Carolyn
and Chuck but life goes on he had to make the best of it. Many type challenges
would still lie in front of Joe and if he was to be successful it would not be from
lack of effort. He would never underestimate a situation, and even if he failed at
something he would learn from his mistakes and even then would search out
solutions for solving them. He was admired by everyone for his all out desire and
determination, he truly had self-confidence. He would learn to set the example for
the disabled to strive to meet. Joe was extremely proud that he was different
C. P. and Me……42
because it made him work harder at everything. Most disabled are raised to be
careful, cautious and to seek help when the going gets tough. Joe was raised to
push yourself and find your own solutions to problems but appreciate and be
thankful for help when you see you cannot possibly complete the task alone. In
his final year of college Joe graduated with a degree in accounting, but would
never work in the accounting field because he felt he would be tied down to a
desk job. He wanted a physical job, one where he could apply his accounting
background. His physician totally agreed with his decision, Joe would look for a
job in the labor field, he however had to settle for a civilian dispatchers job at the
local police department where he would be able to use his business law. In
landing the job he was very impressive during his interview. The former police
chief, Robert Nolley now a police captain was Joe’s shift leader and they got
along extremely well, both shared mutual respect for each other. But because of
Oscar’s personal problems with alcohol causing run-ins with the law the police
department knew him well. And Oscar had personal problems with the chief of
police because of several altercations. So this man took a personal dislike toward
Joe. One day while meeting with the chief, a monthly routine Joe was told he was
being let go and was to be replaced by a uniformed officer. Mr. Nolley went to bat
for Joe but to no avail. After being replaced Joe stayed close to Robert Nolley and
several years later when Robert son, Robert Jr., joined the force and was elected
C. P. and Me……43
chief, Joe had the opportunity to work along side him in several community
projects, such as gun safety, and cloth a child projects. Joe has remained close to
this family all these years later. And Robert Jr. son is now a police officer
following in the footsteps of his father and grandfather. After being let go from
the dispatcher’s job Joe was again looking for work.
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Job Hunting 1963
Working a lot of part-time jobs was nothing new to Joe but being able to also
look for a steady job, doing all this it was a tough. During this time paying all his
bills Joe had a 1957 Dodge repossessed. This didn’t damper his spirits. He went to
the local junkyard and purchased a 1949 Ford that Joe said used more oil than
gasoline. He use to joke that the city should rent it from him to defog
neighborhoods of mosquitoes. He answered a qualified ad in the Indianapolis
newspaper and was interviewed and hired to do office work and small
bookkeeping work for a plumbing firm. During the interview he mentioned that
his father was a journeyman plumber. A couple of weeks into his new job Joe was
approached by the owner who said he would like to interview Joe’s father for a
plumbing job that had just opened up. At home that evening he mentioned the job
to his father. Oscar liked the idea because just maybe he could better his income.
Oscar interviewed for the job and was offered more money and went back to his
C. P. and Me……44
old job and gave a two weeks notice. Working at the new job meant riding back
and forth to work together and this was good because there relationship grew
stronger and the tension that had been between them began to dissipate. After six
months on the job Joe was scheduled for a review of his job. His boss who was
the foreman at the business told Joe he had a outstanding performance so he had
passed this information on to the owner. The owner had decided to give the
review instead of the foreman. The foreman convinced Joe that this was a good
sign and to stay positive. During the interview out of the blue came the word that
Joe was being let go to make room for one of the bosses relatives. Every one was
stunned especially Joe. When Oscar came in at lunch and found Joe sitting in the
truck instead of working he wanted to know what was going on. Joe said there
was no use to work for the next two weeks when he could be out looking for a
job. Oscar blew his cool and had to be physically restrained. Oscar quit his job on
the spot and they both returned to Shelbyville where Oscar immediately was
lucky enough to get his old job back. Oscar’s boss offered to hire Joe as a delivery
person to take parts to job sites. But Oscar and Joe felt that enough was enough.
They both felt working at the same place was not a good idea because when
things go wrong personal feelings get involved. This wasn’t the first time that the
two had worked together. The first time Oscar hired Joe to work on side jobs with
him. Joe’s job was to tear out old plumbing lines so Oscar could put in new ones.
C. P. and Me……45
Joe realized he couldn’t tear out pipes under houses it did require two hands so
Oscar had to let him go. Later on in life Joe would tell his father that the plumbing
firm in Indianapolis had only hired him in order to get Oscar to go to work for
them. One of Joe’s friends Joe Come who was working in another city called Joe
to tell him of a job. Joe called the number and talked to Clyde Starett owner of a
combination cigar store and poolroom. Meeting for an interview Clyde hired Joe
as his store manager the store was located in Frankfort Indiana. The store was a
long way from Shelbyville but Joe had no choice and he needed the job. Working
there he met several interesting people. One of those people was a handicap
young man. He was born without a left hand. His arm was complete right down to
the wrist but no hand. However his disability didn’t slow him down he was
without a doubt one of the best pool shooter in the state. He had played so much
pool that he had a grove in the stub on his left arm. He was so good that he
hustled pool to make a living. Andrews his last name, was so good Joe felt that he
could have been a professional player. After working several months at this new
job, the job market opened up and Joe interviewed and got a job working for the
California Packing Corporation as an inventory person. This new job allowed Joe
to use his college education. After working hard for several months, during a
review he was told that he was being considered for a promotion to the lead of
C. P. and Me……46
inventory specialist. They were extremely proud of Joe’s attitude, plus his
positive outlook. At the same time his mother called him to tell him that one of
the elected government people who had promised to help Joe find a good job
called and said he had a job opening in the Bureau Of Motor Vehicles. His mother
said the job paid 50 cents less on the hour than he was currently making but it was
close to home. Joe immediately put in his two weeks notice and packed up for
home. Joe would remember the Packing Corporation three years later while using
them as a reference. What shocked him was the fact they told the personnel
department that they would hire Joe back without hesitation.
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Beginning A Career 1964
Arriving back at home in Shelbyville sure felt good, he had been gone too
long. The Government official, (Ralph VaNatta), who had gotten Joe the job
introduced him to his Director, (Joe Davis). Joe walked Joe through the Bureau’s
warehouse and introduced him to his new Supervisor, (Gayle Pearson). Gayle
who was also handicap told Joe that he would be filling orders to be delivered
through out the building and also would be unloading trucks. Joe would come to
realize Gayle was tougher on him than the rest of the crew, but Joe knew it was
for his own good. Joe became close friends with a new guy named, (Joe Kelly).
Joe began his new job having only 15% use of his right side but it didn’t slow him
C. P. and Me……47
down from performing his assigned duties. Matter of fact he worked twice as hard
because he was finally in the job that fitted him. His arm was still in the fetal
position and gave him some problems such as cramping but not once did he
complain. At home one evening he told his parents he wanted to make a career
out of this type work, he was doing physical labor as well as using his college
training. After getting paid at work Joe began taking his money home and turning
it over to his mother. It seemed Joe had picked up another bad habit from his
father and that was drinking. By turning over his money he knew he couldn’t
drink if he couldn’t pay for it. One Friday evening Joe ran into one of his friends
who wanted to stop and have a couple of drinks. Joe went into the kitchen and his
mother who was mopping the floor when Joe asked for some of his money. His
mother told him to leave that he wasn’t getting a dime of his money to spend on
alcohol. Joe was furious he demanded his money and she refused. He said if you
don’t give me some money I’ll throw this mop water all over the floor, she said
you do and you’ll regret it. He then threw the water all over the floor. His mother
beat him all the way out the back door and into the driveway with the mop. Joe
said it said in the Bible to turn the other cheek, which he did. His mother began
beating him on that side. Joe's friend said look I'll catch you later and left. Moral
of this story, Joe never got the money and soon after that quit drinking for good.
Joe worked extra hard at the Bureau because he wanted to be successful.
C. P. and Me……48
Marriage 1965
Still working at the Bureau, Joe was doing well he had gone from stock clerk
to order clerk and he wanted the next position in line and that was the issuing of
license plates and drivers license to all the license branches in the State. Joe had
been dating around and he had met several nice girls and through one girl, Linda
Seaton he was able to become very close friends with her entire family. Her
brother Jim and his wife Sue would always stay in contact and they would get
together whenever possible. In August 1965, Joe met Mary Rich and Joe knew he
had met the girl for him. After dating for three months Joe asked Mary for her
hand in marriage and she said yes. In late December Joe called his family
physician and asked him to arrange blood test. Blood test take three days and
through a mix up the physician said this could not be available until early January.
Joe went to work and was upset because he wanted to be married and have Mary
spend Christmas with him. One of Joe’s friends at work told Joe that you could
get blood test and married the same day in Springfield Tennessee. Joe called Mary
about the good news and then went to his Supervisor and asked for Friday off.
After that he went home and convinced Mary’s father to go along on the trip to
Tennessee. Arriving late in Springfield on Friday evening Joe was disappointed to
find the courthouse closed. He had arrived too late. As Joe, Mary and her father
were walking from the courthouse and Joe verbally complaining
C. P. and Me……49
about the situation they were in. Joe knew he had to be back at work on Monday
and all because of his late arrival in Tennessee, now they had to load up and
return to Shelbyville. A young man who had overheard Joe’s discussion with
Mary and her father spoke up. He said maybe I can offer a suggestion, if you want
to get married tomorrow drive to Ringgold Georgia and you can get everything
done and married on Saturday by the Justice Of The Peace at the courthouse. Not
knowing if he could wait till Saturday and do the same thing in Springfield Joe
talked it over with Mary and they decided to drive to Ringgold. After several
hours of driving they arrived in Ringgold early Saturday morning. They killed the
next few hours stopping to eat and just messing around. At 9:00 they drove to the
courthouse. There they encountered a Judge Rollins, who told Joe and Mary they
first had to go across the street and get their blood test done. Then they returned to
the courthouse and Judge Rollins got his secretary and Mary’s father as witnesses
and Joe and Mary took their wedding vows. The date was December 22 1965.
They then loaded up and drove back to Shelbyville. Arriving home Joe told his
mother and father that he and Mary had gotten married, they were in shock but
were happy for the both of them. Asked why not a traditional wedding Joe just
simply said like father like son. Joe went to work on Monday and told his co-
workers and the people he rode to work with about his marriage. He and Mary
C. P. and Me……50
spent Christmas together along with both their families. They were both totally
happy and would spend many more holidays together. As Joe told his mother later
Mary was the perfect choice for him.
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Job Change and Career Move 1966
During January, Joe was promoted to Assistant Supervisor, a couple of months
later the Supervisor left and Director Joe Davis again promoted Joe to Supervisor.
Things were looking good for the Pilks. Mary found out that she was expecting a
baby that would be due in late November or early December. As the months
seemed to fly by Mr. Davis called Joe in his office in May to inform him that due
to the newly elected party that the Directors job and the Supervisor job would
change hands. Joe was stunned, he knew nothing of politics and to make matters
worse he was to train his replacement. He could stay on in the department most
likely an order clerk, but would have to take a pay cut. Joe immediately went on
the offensive and started filling out job application and resumes. Joe was riding
back and forth to work with a Vice President, (Dwain Mann) of a large insurance
firm and was told that they had an opening in the warehouse department. It was
just a shipping clerk. Joe if he wanted to interview for the job could fill out an
application, then Dwain would deliver it to Personnel Department. But Joe would
have to secure the job on his own. A few weeks later Joe was contacted by a Mr.
C. P. and Me……51
Jordan. Joe was impressed meeting the Supervisor, (Richard Wallace). During
the interview which was interrupted by the Assistant Supervisor wanting to know
about overtime needed for the next day, Saturday. Richard apologized for the
interruption and told Joe he was impressed by his referral record as well as past
attendance records. He said he felt Joe was sincere about wanting the job but was
concerned by the fact the job called for heavy lifting. It could present a problem
and he didn’t want to put Joe in any hazardous situation. Richard explained that
the heavy work he was talking about would be done this Saturday. Joe mentioned
that he would like an opportunity at the job and if Richard saw fit he might allow
Joe to observe the work, then Joe would be honest in letting Richard know if he
could handle the job. Richard seeing how determined Joe was made it possible for
Joe to be there the next day. Joe showed up the next day and while everyone was
on break he went over and moved the heaviest of boxes to their new location.
Richard immediately told Joe to go back to his old job and give a two weeks
notice. Then on October 6th 1966 he reported for work at the Insurance Company.
The big difference was the salary, he went from $125.00 a week to $75.00 per
week but the benefit package made up the difference. Joe’s mother tried to talk
him into staying with the State because of seniority, but he and Mary felt this was
the right decision.
C. P. and Me……52
Fatherhood 1967
With 1966 coming to an end, Mary surprised everyone by giving birth to a
beautiful baby boy. Also what made this even better was the fact that she gave
birth on December 7th 1966. Joe and Karen’s birthday; what a great birthday
present. God had definitely blessed this family. Joe was so proud and at work he
was doing well, the job was the best and he really got along with everyone. The
first few months on the job people at the company starred at him a lot because of
his appearance, but it was just a matter of time before he was accepted as just
another employee. Mary and Joe named the boy Kenneth Ray Pilk Jr. after his
father he would be called Little Joe. Continuing to play basketball three or four
times a week at the armory and the Boys Club. Mary however needed Joe at
home, with a new addition to the family there was a lot to do. Therefore
basketball that was truly a life saving thing in Joe’s life in the beginning was now
putting a strain on his family life. So the need to cut back was necessary and he
wholeheartedly agreed. Joe began to play basketball only on weekends thus
freeing up time at home. While at home during the week he had time to read and
study more about his favorite subject law. He decided to enroll in a college
program designed for private detective surveillance. After passing the course he
aimed his sights on helping investigate problems that kids in school were having
C. P. and Me……53
with the school administrative department. He and Mary set up a work area for his
investigative work. He then had business cards printed up, as he went about his
regular chores around the community he passed his cards out to everyone he came
in contact with. He did most of his investigative work free for the school kids.
Most were strapped for money and had no where else to turn. When he did
investigate he turned the results of his findings over to both parties, and they
would then resolve the matter. Joe continued the workouts to keep his body in
shape he didn’t want his physical condition to deteriorate. One day while at work
Joe was called to the Executive Suite. The President (Guy Spring), wanted to
speak with Joe about his job with the company. Joe felt uneasy, had he done
something wrong, the more he thought about it the more he realized he had done
nothing wrong. Arriving at the Executive Suite he was escorted directly to the
President office. He was greeted by one of the nicest people that anyone could
ever hope to meet. Joe my name is Guy Spring and I took the privilege of looking
at your personnel file after I contacted Human Resources, about anyone with a
background in landscaping. I would like to ask you if you would drop by my
residence and look over our property and give us your opinion on the work being
done. My wife and I are not happy with what we see. Joe said are you sure you
want my opinion I only worked for a small landscaping firm in Shelbyville. Mr.
Spring said I called where you worked at and they said you were one of the most
C. P. and Me……54
dependable and that you paid much attention to details to the job. Arriving at the
Springs resident he was greeted by Mr. Spring and his wife. Walking around the
resident Joe noticed several blotched jobs. Sir, do you have a pair of trimmers.
My name is Guy and I’ll go get the trimmers. After carefully trimming one of the
shrubs around the house and a tree in the yard the couple was delighted and they
were talking together in private. Offering Joe the job working evenings and on
weekends at great pay. Joe immediately accepted the generous offer and was told
he could hire someone to work with him from his department. He and Dick
Hughes worked for the Spring’s the rest of the year. While at work one day a
young man who worked in the Finance area at the Insurance Company came up to
Joe while he was on break and said he wanted to know if he was the person
known as the One Armed Bandit. Joe looked at him and said yes you’ve found
him what can I do for you? Well my name is Mike Osborne and everyone in my
department told me what a good player you are especially one on one. Joe said
there are a lot better players out there and plus you know by now only believe half
of what you hear. Mike spoke up and said, well I would like to play you a game
because basketball is my game. Your boss and my boss were talking and your
boss Richard said that he thought that you would win if we played. My boss Mike
believes I would win. Because I think I’m better I would be willing to give you 30
points in a game going to 80. I was a starter on a high school team and I also have
C. P. and Me……55
the advantage of playing with two hands. Joe said are you serious 30 points, I
don’t care how good you are, sure I’ll take those odds when do you want to play?
Lets play on Saturday, because after our game my department will play you’re
department. During the week people from both departments were placing bets on
their man. The total amount of money involved was a little more than $250.00.
Both departments met on Saturday at a local high school playground to settle the
score. Joe also knew that with the two people working in his department and
being on his team, (the warehouse team), the other team, the (finance) team would
not stand a chance. Bud Ingle and Neil Comstock were outstanding players. Joe
had learned first hand by playing Neil three times, losing all three even though all
three were close games. When the one on one game started Joe convinced his
opponent that he would prefer to add his 30 points on at the end of the game
whenever Mike reached his score of 80. The game wasn’t even close Mike had
underestimated Joe. When the score reached 50 to 30 in Joe’s favor, Joe laid the
basketball down on the court and declared the game over. His stunned opponent
then realized that Joe’s 50 plus the 30 he had given, made the final score Joe 80,
Mike 30. During the game between the departments no one could stop the
warehouse team. They steamed rolled the Finance team. Neil Comstock, Bud
Ingle, Robert Durkalaski, Richard Wallace, and Joe scored at will. During the
game a scuffle between two members of the Finance team had to be broken up,
C. P. and Me……56
The Manager and the Vice-President were fighting, this was a result of the
frustration of being beaten so badly by the Warehouse.
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Well Deserved Vacation 1968
Working at the Insurance Company was a rewarding job. Joe was well liked and
got along with his co-workers. He was still working part time for the President
at his home doing the landscaping work. He made very good money at this job
and Mr. Spring and his wife were wonderful people. In October Joe, Mary and
Little Joe went on vacation back to where Joe and Mary were married, Ringgold
Georgia. It had grown in size almost doubled in less than three years. Being less
than 25 miles from the Tennessee state line and right off one of the busiest
interstates in Georgia was the main reason for the growth. After a wonderful
Vacation and once back home Joe resumed his workouts and his physical
appearance was not only improving but he was getting so much stronger. His co-
workers ; Brad Miller, Bob Miller, Irwin Edwards, Joe Hastings, Charles (Skip
Fesser, Skip was from McCordsville he and Joe were good friends. This team of
workers got along so well and they all excelled in the working area. Joe and Mary
were expecting another child, due again in late November or early December,
everyone was excited. There was a scary moment one evening while sitting at
home in their upstairs apartment. They had a protective gate across the top of the
C. P. and Me……57
stairway but Joe forgot to latch it and Little Joe tumbled all the way to the bottom
of the stairs. Mary and Joe were horrified , they picked him up and rushed him to
the hospital. After being checked by the doctors, only to find out thankfully that
he only received bumps and bruises. Joe received a perfect attendance award from
the Insurance Company, and as of October 6th he had been there two years. On
November 18th 1968 Mary gave birth to their second child, a little girl they named
Valarie Ann. A perfect family, a boy and a girl. Another interesting thing Valarie
was borne on her grandfather’s birthday. Oscar had just turned 52. Oscar had been
feeling ill for the past several months, he couldn’t seem to get rid of a cold that he
had gotten. This family was and always would be a close knit family.
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A Great Loss 1969
Oscar was so proud that one of his grandchildren was borne on his birthday.
But for the past several months he had been going back and forth to the doctors.
At first he thought it was a cold he couldn’t shake. Then he began having a lot of
pain in his groin area and the doctor’s feared it was a hernia. After test were run it
did confirm a hernia. However because of his extended cold they went ahead and
ran ex-rays and test’s on his chest area. Once the results came back a gray area
appeared on the ex-rays . After further tests were run it was discovered he had a
tumor on his lungs and more test it showed cancer. So now faced with this plus
C. P. and Me……58
a hernia the doctor’s told Oscar that they had to remove the tumor before they
could operate on the hernia. After removal of the tumor it was discovered that the
cancer had already spread through the lymph glands. The doctor told Oscar in the
hospital room that he had some bad news to tell him so he had better bring his
wife in to be there when he would tell them of his findings. Instead Oscar called
Joe in to be with him and told the doctor to give them his results. The doctor told
Oscar that since the cancer had spread into his glands and the rest of his body that
he would have no more than a year to live and had better get his life in order.
There would be no use in operating on the hernia, besides he was too weak. The
doctor went on to say the way he would know that his time was near the end
would be he would start gaining weight, a sign of bloating. He said he would sign
the release forms so that he could go home. Oscar then called Ruth to tell her Joe
was bringing him home and he would tell her the good news. Arriving at home
Oscar told both Ruth and Karen that the doctors removed all the cancer and he
would soon start healing. As the months quickly passed Oscar began to gain
weight and appeared to be his old self once again. Ruth was so happy that Oscar
showed signs of good health and was gaining weight. It was a warm time for this
time of the year, early April so Oscar had Ruth to take him outside in his
wheelchair so he could sit in the warm sunshine. Everyone was go grateful to see
Oscar so spry. On April 16 1969, Oscar told Joe that the time was near and he had
C. P. and Me……59
to be strong, Oscar wanted Joe to help his mother and sister through this process.
Becoming so weak that Ruth had to have him readmitted to the hospital on April
17 1969. Oscar who had fought so hard in life lost the battle on April 18 1969 and
passed away. Even though Joe was fully aware of what was going on he suffered
greatly. For this man had given so much of himself preparing Joe for all of life’s
difficult situations. From that day Joe would never show weakness when it came
to difficult times. Both Little Joe and Valarie were too young to remember their
grandfather. Losing his father Joe recommitted himself to make sure that all the
time his father had given to improve Joe’s physical condition, would not be in
vain. Still not understanding how his father had pushed him to excel at sports, yet
had never once seen him perform on the court. It hit Joe one day that Oscar had
no interest in taking credit, but consolation in knowing his son was doing his best.
Most fathers with normal sons never reach that level. Joe so much loved and
respected his father that he would strive to be dedicated to his children. His
father’s mistakes Joe could learn from and be an even better husband. Joe
continued to work at improving his physical condition. Mary was always
supporting everyone. Joe knew Mary deserved better and was determined to see
that she got all the things she never had growing up. Ruth was still working at
Gereral Electric and was keeping busy around the house and spending her extra
time with Joe and Karen’s families.
C. P. and Me……60
Moving And A Promotion 1970
Having now been with the Insurance Company for four years Joe was
extremely proud of his service record. Another perfect attendance, and a terrific
performance rating. He attributed all this to his upbringing by his parents, who
always set the standards for hard work. Their motto was work hard and receive
just rewards. Richard called Joe into his office and promoted him to Inventory
Specialist, this would mean Joe would now use more of his college education. A
little disappointed that he didn’t get the Assistant Supervisor position, the job he
was shooting for. Richard told him he had been considered for the Assistant’s job
but that was being given to Lloyd Still. Both jobs were equal in pay and both
positions reported directly to the Supervisor. There was some bitterness from
another employee who felt he deserved one of the jobs. Joe ran into a former high
school classmate who had hired into the Insurance Company. Being good friends
they began riding back and forth to work together. Joe really looked up to his
friend Steve Totten, he was someone to model yourself after. Steve had graduated
from Ball State University and decided to enter the insurance field. Steve worked
hard and eventually became Vice-President of the Company. On the job still not
having use of his fingers Joe managed to lift boxes by placing the bottom of the
box on top of his right hand, then properly lifting the box with his left hand. By
doing this procedure he was actually lifting with his left, while balancing the box
C. P. and Me 61
with his right. Once he had completed a job his right hand would return to the
fetal position. People no longer starred at him out of sympathy, but watched him
out of admiration for his accomplishments. Continuous workouts were making
Joe’s physical being that much better. Mary and Joe moved to a small rented
house on the Boggstown Road in Shelbyville. Mary was staying at home being a
mother and housewife. Joe was now working around 46 to 50 hours a week for
the Insurance Company. That time along with working out and playing basketball
left no time for part time jobs. Therefore the family survived on a modest income.
However on weekends they spent quality family unity together. Valarie, now two
years old and Little Joe who was four, were together all the time. You could tell
the two were close, but even they had times when they couldn’t get along, but
those times were few and far between. Joe continued to read anything to do with
high school sports and some articles he wrote appeared in a couple of newspapers.
As the months passed by you could continually see the improvement in Joe’s
mental and physical being.
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Community Work 1971
One day at work his friend Steve Totten asked Joe to attend a meeting with
him, that dealt with an organization that delivered community service to
Shelbyville and Shelby County. Joe was reluctant at first made excuses as to why
C. P. and Me……62
he couldn’t attend. At the last minute Joe changed his mind and told Steve to pick
him up and he would go to the meeting with him. Steve explained that this club
ran several projects designed at helping underprivileged families, and he felt that
Joe would fit right in with the club. At the meeting Joe was introduced to the
Shelbyville Jaycees membership, you could see right away that Joe had found
something special in this club. Joe liked everyone in the Jaycees, and some were
to become his close friends that would last a lifetime. Some of them were to name
a few Steve Totten, Leroy Whitcher, Jeff Wright, Steve Tevis, Mike Raftery,
Fred Eaton, Dr. Don Robbins, Paul Anderson, Larry Earl, Gabe Wiggins, Larry
Spurling, Mike Warfield, and Sherman Parks. There were many more but to
mention them all would be a book in itself. Almost every city had there own
Jaycee group that was geared toward the State Jaycee Organization. Working and
helping out in the community was what Joe was all about, it was his way of
paying back for those who had helped him. Working on projects and well liked by
the membership Joe was getting to be very well known. What really impressed
Joe about the Jaycees was the fact it was made up by people from all walks of life,
such as, lawyers, doctors, business leaders, warehousemen, even the unemployed.
Back at work Joe received the promotion he had long awaited, he was made
Assistant Supervisor. Joe would retain this position for the next several years. He
had gotten another perfect attendance and finally received another outstanding
C. P. and Me……63
performance review. Ruth and Oscar’s advice on hard work was paying off. He
was saddened by the death of his close friend the former President of the
Insurance Company, the one Joe had worked on weekends at his home, Mr. Guy
Spring. And to make things even worse was the fact he died of the same condition
that had taken Joe’s fathers life. Joe paused for a few moments to think about how
proud Mr. Spring would have been of Joe’s accomplishments with his Company.
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Moving Ahead 1972
Little Joe entering kindergarten at the old Major school, where Mary had gone
to grade school. Joe was keeping his word never to give up trying to achieve the
goals his parents had set for him. Also the promise to continue to work on his
physical and mental improvement. Growing up in Shelbyville, there were four
individuals besides himself with the same physical condition. Out of the four, one
had a severe mental problem and many children made fun of him. The other three
were exactly like Joe however the parents of one of them decided they would do
for their son and not let him try and survive on his own. The other two like Joe
worked at improvement . Out of those two one finally gave up and decided he
couldn’t or wouldn’t. The last one did a lighter version of taking care of himself
and has shown some improvement. Out of the total of five including Joe there are
only three alive today. Joe truly believes that people with C. P. need to work hard
C. P. and Me……64
at their physical condition. Even thought medical profession says that your C.P.
condition will not get worse, Joe believes just the opposite, and is determined to
speak out about it. Joe was elected Secretary of the Jaycee’s and served under
President Paul Anderson. Joe worked on Jaycee projects all the time, after work in
the evenings, on weekends. This put the burden of family affairs on Mary, the
trooper she is, she found a way to get everything done. Joe managed to play
basketball, but now it was just the fun of competing and to help keep his physical
condition in check. Playing basketball allowed Joe the way to release stress, and
tension buildup from work and being so involved in the community. Little Joe
though only six years old was already very protective of his sister and was always
working with her on basketball.
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Jaycee Movement 1973
The local Chapter of the Shelbyville Jaycees was so involved in the
community. The Chapter was enjoying the gratification of their accomplishments
helping the people, but the popularity of the club continued to grow. Joe was
working on every project and was so busy that he decided not to run for an office
in the organization. He did however promote the club on the State level by
making visits to other clubs through out the state. He averaged one visit per week
and there was always two or three that joined him on these visitations. The visits
C. P. and Me……65
are a requirement if your chapter plans to run for the distinction of being the
number one chapter in the state. Little Joe was beginning the first grade, attending
the same grade school his father had attended years ago, Colescott grade school.
Valarie spent most of her time with her mother. Working out was still a priority
for Joe, he wanted to maintain the improvement on his health condition. The
family had again moved to another location in town, this time to South West
street in the city.
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Jaycee Growth 1974
The chapter continued to grow in popularity, so much so that the membership
was also growing at a tremendous rate. Everyone was working extremely hard on
projects, everything was geared toward the needy in the city and county. Joe was
elected Vice President and everything that concerned the Chapter internally was
his responsibility. Also being so involved the previous year promoting the chapter
helped him on the decision making in front of him. Joe was working hard at the
Insurance Company and was proving hard work pays off. Little Joe was in the
second grade at Colescott, and his sister Valarie was entering kindergarten at
Major school. Joe again began to ride a bicycle for strength reasons but the whole
family had bikes and rode everywhere together. They along with a fellow Jaycee
Mike Raftery would make many bike trips around the city and through out the
C. P. and Me……66
county. With such popularity and such a large membership near the end of the
year dissention began to arise in the Chapter. You could see the division among
the membership, even the top officers were divided. Joe and the other officers sat
down and tried to come up with a solution. The chapter even with the division in
membership still managed to finish forth in the State competition. Quiet a feat
considering the local chapter hadn’t done well on the state level for sometime.
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Chapter Split 1975
After many meetings and no resolution to the dissention problems, the chapter
split and out of this a new chapter was formed. Now the city of Shelbyville had
two community groups to work for them. One was the Shelbyville Jaycees who
elected Kenneth R.(Joe), Pilk as President, and the new chapter Blue River Valley
Jaycees elected Dr. Donald Robbins as President. There was fierce competition
among the two chapters all year but no problems occurred. The two chapters
worked together side by side on several projects. At the end of the year, the very
last week the Blue River Valley passed the Shelbyville Jaycees to finish #1 and #2
in the State. Due to both chapters hard work all year they both received a lot of
awards at the State Convention. Also two awards were handed out at the
Convention the highest award a Jaycee can achieve. One went to a Blue River
Valley Jaycee, Steve Totten. The second went to a Shelbyville Jaycee, Kenneth R.
C. P. and Me……67
(Joe) Pilk. The title of these awards was Jaycee International Senatorship. Several
other chapters awarded these to special people from their clubs. What made this
night so special was the fact that these two people from Shelbyville were best
friends and Steve was the one that got Joe to join in the first place. Valarie was
now in the first grade and Little Joe was in the third grade. Little Joe was very
protective of his sister, when they weren’t in school they were always together
playing sports with the neighborhood kids. Mary decided that since the kids were
in school she would get a job to help supplement the needed income. Raising two
children and the other monthly bills there was the need for more money. Joe sat
down with Mary and they discussed the need for him to be at home, a decision
was made that this would be his last year as a active Jaycee. Besides he would be
turning 35 years old and that meant it would be his last active year anyway, things
seem to have a way of balancing themselves out. The need to be with his children
was the main reason. Joe was involved in one last project and to make things even
better the whole family was involved. Everyone had fun working on the Haunted
House project. Both kids were doing well in school. Little Joe was outgoing like
his father, Valarie was quiet and reserved like her mother, but both kids were very
popular at school. Joe was still Assistant Supervisor at work, was well liked and
enjoyed working. That year Joe would meet a young man who would not only be
his friend and co-worker, later he would become Joe’s boss. The two were close
C. P. and Me……68
And each of their families would also become close knit. Also this year a group of
young men would start meeting for lunch every few months and this would
continue for years. The friendship of the group would continue to grow as each
year passed and the number would grow and fall as the group went about their
separate lives. The first meeting was Joe, Richard Wallace, and Bernie Lenihan.
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Learning To Cope 1976
The group met this year and added a new member Jerry McNulty. With his Jaycee
career at an end Joe now had time for his family. As a family they continued to
ride bicycles, they were riding out in the country and surrounding communities.
This was great exercise for Joe besides it was good for the entire family. Little Joe
was in the fourth grade, Valarie was now in the second. Joe and Mary spent many
hours with both their mothers. Mary was the primary source in taking her mother
to wherever Rachel needed to go. Joe’s mother had a drivers license and had her
own car. Joe was still working hard at the Insurance Company and received
another commendable rating. Mary and Joe decided to go on vacation and Mary
was to pick Joe up at work. Getting lost in the big city of Indianapolis, Mary was
two hours late. Making matters worse, once she arrived Joe was coming through
the doors when the person in front of him let the door go and being spring loaded,
hit him in the head causing a terrible cut and causing him to lose his ability to
C. P. and Me……69
function over the next several minutes. That ordeal didn’t slow Joe down he had
Mary to clean and wrap the cut and went on vacation. Joe had always been taught
to not let the unexpected slow him down. This was just one of many things that
would be a challenge to Joe, things he had to learn to overcome. But being
handicap had its advantages because you always had to deal with the unexpected.
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New Adventure 1977
Signing up to play Little League baseball at the Knothole Ballpark, Little Joe
was excited. He was assigned to a team that had a sponsor but no coach. League
officials approached Joe about coaching the team, as they put it anyone who
knows you knows how much you like sports, therefore you would be a good
teacher for these youngsters. Joe was skeptic at first but Little Joe’s excitement
turned the tables. Joe could play baseball with his handicap but he wasn’t an
outstanding player, just an ordinary player. Joe however knew his son had a lot of
natural talent and he just needed guidance to bring the talent to the surface.
Coaching your own kid is hard because you always expect perfection from them
and you are always putting more pressure on them. Mary was working nights an
Joe was busy working at the Insurance Company and coaching his son’s team.
Little Joe made the all league team that summer, however his team finished dead
last with a 3-8 record. Joe was determined to be a better coach so he went out and
C. P. and Me……70
bought coaching books on baseball and studied hard. But no matter how hard he
tried he couldn’t convey the spirit of being a winner to his team. He had three
players above average. Little Joe, Wes Bowers, and Kenny Anderson, the rest had
very little experience. Four players on the team had never played baseball before
and were only on the team because their parents insisted but these guys had no
desire to play. Little Joe was in the fifth grade and was going out for the school
basketball team and the school football team. Valarie was in the third grade and
hung around with her brother and his friends. Joe met Roger Gregg at work and a
new friendship sprang up. Roger came to the Insurance Company after working
for his father. He would in the next couple of year’s return to work with his father.
But it wouldn’t be long before he returned to the Insurance Company and he is
still with them today. Jerry McNulty would leave the Insurance Company to move
to Flordia to work. He too would return to work for the Insurance Company.
Valarie was selected to play on an all-star softball team, one of the youngest ever
to be selected. The manager Bill Barnard had noticed her playing and liked what
he called grit, he said by picking her he thought that he could help her develop her
skills.
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Game To Remember 1978
Joining the Insurance Company basketball team was a dream come true for
C. P. and Me……71
Joe, he had worked real hard in practice to make the team. Joe was hoping to
make it as a starter but the coach felt otherwise. He was a player coach and a
Vice-President, the same Vice-President that had got into a fight in the game
between the warehouse and the finance department. He didn’t like Joe and it was
his call. The coach had scheduled a practice game against another team however
during the week the team called and cancelled. Needing a team to scrimmage
against Joe volunteered to bring up some of his friends to scrimmage the
Insurance team. The captain on the Insurance team made the statement, “Do these
guys wear tennis shoes or do they play barefooted,.”? Joe assured that they would
be competitive. Saturday the game wasn’t even close. Joe brought up the man
who had taught him the game John Randolph, John’s brother David the small boy
who had kept after Joe to play, who had grown up to be one of the top players
from Shelbyville. Joe brought along Jim Wells, and Jerry Smith. Smith was the
tallest player on Joe’s team standing 6’3 he played forward. The center on the
Insurance team was 6’5” compared to the center on Joe’s team who was John
standing 6’0”.John dunked the ball many times and when the game was over the
score was 111 to 88. John went up to the center on the Insurance team and told
him they had stopped at a store down the street and everyone purchased tennis
shoes so that they could play. The next Monday at work all the talk was about the
Randolph brothers, and how everyone on Joe’s team scored in double figures.
C. P. and Me……72
Little Joe was now in the sixth grade and Valarie was in the fourth grade. Little
Joe was selected the most improved basketball player on his school team. He also
received an award for playing the tight end position on the school team. Valarie
was still playing ball with Joe and his friends knowing next year she would be
able to play on the school team. Working at the Insurance Company provided a
good living for his family and he had now been with the company for 12 years, in
the same department and working for Richard Wallace. He continued to work at
his physical exercises and was doing a lot of dynamic tension routines. Richard
hired a new Receiving Clerk, his name was Brian Baker, Joe Roger Gregg, and
Brian became good friends. Joe joined a few of his friends that worked for the
Insurance Company. They would go bowling and hang out together these guys
had a wonderful time together and the memories they each would cherish forever
Jack Milnes, Steve Totten, Steve Cooper, Mike Graves, David Conner, Craig
Williams. What great times with such great friends Joe was truly blessed. Jack
retired and Joe hasn’t heard from him, but wherever he is Joe hopes he is well.
Steve is retired and living in Flordia, he gets back to Shelbyville to visit his
parents. Steve and David have started there on businesses and are doing well.
Mike was still working with the Insurance Company and he and Joe stay in touch.
Craig left the Insurance Company and works for a Computer Company he and Joe
remain close. Joe has a poem written about him that appears in the back of this
C. P. and Me……73
book. It is titled ONE OF A KIND. Joe has been around Craig and Mike so much
that he considers them family instead of friends. Mary still working nights is the
one that carries the burden of raising the kids. Joe likes to take credit for their
upbringing but everyone knows Mary gets all the credit she is the real winner for
Little Joe and Valarie. Valarie came in one evening and announced. she wanted to
play softball in the City league, she had enjoyed the opportunity and fun she had
experienced playing for Mr. Barnard. At nine years of age she was only a few
months away from playing basketball for the school team. Sitting at home one
evening Joe was watching a sports telecast when the local sportscaster on Channel
13, mentioned he had created a segment of his program designed for the sole
purpose of getting publicity for the average person who doesn’t normally receive
media coverage. This segment was called Sports Challenge. The way it works was
the average person who thinks that he or she is good at an individual sport call in
to the station and issue a challenge to the sports announcer Don Hein. Mr. Hein
then would accept the challenge and make arrangements for the one on one
contest and have its filmed highlights aired on television. It didn’t matter the sport
he would most likely accept the challenge. Joe watched the program for a couple
of weeks watching the challenges then he decided to give Don Hein a call. After
calling and discussing the challenge on the phone, Don was reluctant to accept the
challenge because as he put it basketball was his sport and he felt it might be too
C. P. and Me……74
big of an advantage to Joe. Joe convinced Don that that was no big deal and Don
would be playing the One Armed Bandit. Realizing Joe wasn’t about to take no
for an answer he accepted the challenge and made the arrangements. Don secured
a college gym, got an ABA basketball official to officiate the game, even supplied
an original ABA, red white and blue basketball. Joe played hard but no excuses,
Don was a lot better than he was final score was 30-18. The game was a lot of fun
and Joe had made a friend for life, Don Hein a true gentleman.
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Coaching Again 1979
Joe knowing he had been quite a failure at coaching his son, not being able to
bring out the best was reluctant to become involved with trying to coach his
daughter. He contacted City league officials to sign his daughter up for the league.
She was assigned to play on a team sponsored by a local sports shop, the name of
the team was Speedy’s. Speedy’s Sports Shop was owned by Speedy Cole. The
team had failed to win a game the previous season, they had went 0-11. The coach
had resigned and Speedy knew Joe, asked him to take over the coaching position.
Joe knew he owed Valarie her opportunity of playing, therefore he accepted the
job. His first job was to convince the returning players that they were capable of
being winners, starting with having a positive attitude. Then he had to make sure
C. P. and Me……75
the parents that they had to show a believing and supportive attitude toward there
children at the games. He did this through a series of meetings with the parents
and members of his team. Joe was so good in the attitude area, been there done
that, so to speak. Next he had to teach each girl how to play her position on the
field. With the help of Little Joe and a couple of his friends this could be
accomplished. He then carefully picked an Asst. Coach who not only knew about
softball, was a good teacher, this coach also had to be one of the fathers. Next he
picked a father of one of the girls to be the third base coach. That left his job as
Manager, he would also determine lineups. His main job would be to motivate
and be like a cheerleader. After several hard long practices and a few practice
games Joe felt the team was ready. To make things even tougher the practice
games were against Little Joe and his friends. When league competition started,
Manager Joe Pilk, Coach Charles Davies, Coach Jim Ubanks, were ready. After
the league ended the team finished 10-1, COME BACK TEAM OF THE YEAR.
Everyone in the league was in disbelief, except the Speedy’s team. Speedy Cole
was so proud of the team he bought them uniforms Red White and Blue, with
stars on the uniforms and changed the name to Speedy’s All-Americans. Two of
the girls made the All-Star travel team. Valarie was one of the girls, the other one
was Kathy Davies.
C. P. and Me……76
Everyone Involved 1980
Valarie announced she wanted to be a cheerleader for the boys team, and she
signed up to play basketball for the school team. Little Joe remarked that she
would be good at basketball because she had learned to play the game with him
and his friends. Joe and Mary both working and taking the kids to the various
sporting events. The parents never missed any of the functions the kids were
involved in. Little Joe was in the seventh grade and Valarie was entering the fifth.
That year Little Joe earned the Mr. Hustle award, while Valarie received the top
point producer award. Her biggest thrill was leading her school to the finals of the
city championship, they received the runner-up awards. In that game Valarie had
10 points and her team lost 22 to 19. Joe again coached the softball team and they
repeated as league and tourney champions with a 10-1 record. The team that
always gave them there losses the past two years was Charlie’s Angel, the
Manager was Rick Barlettt, and the coach was David Barnes. These two would
always remain close friends with Joe, and Joe and David graduated together from
high school. Joe decided that because so many good players were left off the All-
Star travel team he would start one of his own. He and two coaches, Danny
Hastings, and John Kincaid formed a team and the team itself, was self-funded,
instead of having a sponsor. The team was named after the Coaches, the KDJ’s.
Standing for Kenny, Danny, John. Joe continued to work on his physical tharphy.
C. P. and Me……77
Company Attorney 1981
Joe was still Asst. Supervisor and his Supervisor suddenly quit. Joe had to
assume both responsibilities until a replacement could be found. He thought that
he could possibly be promoted to that position because of his ability and past
experience. The chances were slim however due to the fact that the Manager for
some reason didn’t accept Joe for his ability but rather took a disliking toward
him. The Manager had his selection already made and was determined to get his
way. Still he had to show that Joe was being considered although both of them
knew different. During one of his daily appointment to the Manager’s office,
reporting on the daily functions of the warehouse. The Manager asked Joe to step
down from his Asst. Supervisor’s position so that he could promote another man.
Joe refused thus began one of the biggest battles for fairness ever to be handled by
the Company. Joe fought hard that year to keep his job and the more he resisted
the more the Manager pushed for his removal. The Manager went to the man in
charge of handling upper management disciplinary procedures. There was another
individual in charge of regular employee disciplinary procedures. First Joe had
done nothing wrong to merit any disciplinary actions. Second the man used was
related to the man the Manager wanted for the job, an uncle. This alone warranted
Conflict of Interest. The man told the Manager he would look into the situation.
Joe had no problem with the man the Manager wanted to promote it was his close
C. P. and Me……78
personal friend, Jerry McNulty. It was the fact that Joe had earned and worked so
hard at that job for so many years, and with his job ratings they had no grounds
for removal, plus they used the employee’s uncle to handle the problem and to
find grounds. In private life things were going well for the Pilk family. Valarie
was in the sixth grade and again led Little Marion school to the city
championship. This time they would again play Loper, only this time they would
win the championship by the score of 23-20. Valarie led the way scoring 17
points and people were talking about her outstanding game. Her brother couldn’t
understand what the big deal was because he knew how good she could play.
Little Joe had just the opposite problem he was cut from the eight grade team, he
was just to short he stood 4’ 10” tall. He decided to work even harder and started
lifting weights. He played for the Boy’s Club and led his team in double figures.
He was still playing baseball at the Knothole Ballpark, he became an outstanding
left handed pitcher. Valarie again played softball for her dad and the Speedy’s
All-Americans and they finished 10-1 and won the league championship. Also the
KDJ’s travel team had quite a year finishing the season 30-3, however they lost
in the semi-finals of the State Tourney to North Vernon. The other Shelbville
teams, one losing in the early rounds, the other finished third. Back at work Joe
had to have the Director of the law department, Wally Gray help him with his
differences with the warehouse Manager. Wally has been a real force in Joe’s life
C. P. and Me……79
guiding him through some tough times over the years. Wally’s direct influence
has helped Joe and Joe is proud that he was there for him. One day Joe and Mary
were having problems corresponding with Government officials because of
buying a government sponsored home. The Government people were not being
cooperative and a resolution couldn’t be reached. Joe contacted his friend Robert
Arnold, Vice-President of the legal department at work. Robert made one phone
call and all the problems disappeared, there were no more problems with the
Government. Joe remains loyal to both Wally and Robert. Little Joe the previous
year had entered a coed team in the City coed softball league. The team was made
up of mostly of Little Joe’s and Valarie’s friends .They went 11-1 their first year
and then this year they were 12-0. Joe was the Manager for Little Joe’s team and
Darrin Pilk, Little Joe’s cousin was the head coach. The assistant coach was a
friend Kenny Devielous. Tragedy struck when Mary’s younger brother lost his
life on May 8.1981, in a terrible accident. Everyone was in shock a young man,
Robert Rich struck down in the prime of his life.
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Tragedy Strikes Again 1982
Little Joe had taken up his dad’s habit of working out with weights to improve
his strength. He had grown from 4’ 10” to 5’4 in height. He was real excited, he
would be starting the ninth grade, hoping to go out for the freshman team, but had
C. P. and Me……80
his goals set even higher about maybe making the junior varsity team. His coed
softball team went undefeated for a second year in a row going 14-0. In three
years they had only one defeat and that went extra innings. Little Joe quickly
submitted his team for the coming season but was refused entry because the
league said that it was unfair to the other teams that competed, therefore they
were not allowing them to enter, Little Joe dissolved the team. The KDJ’s had
another fine season going 33-3. One of the losses was to Bill Barnard’s All Stars
and one of the losses beaten by North Vernon All Stars for the second year in a
row. Joe knew that Bill Barnard had the best 13-15 year old team from
Shelbyville. Shelbyville had never won the State Title in softball in the 13-15 year
old division. The 10-12 year old team had just won the state title last year. Sitting
at home one evening Joe came up with an idea of taking the top players from
Barnards 13-15 All Star team, The top players from the KDJ’s 13-15 All Star
team, and the top players from the Robinette 10-12 All Star team. By combining
all three teams they would stand a chance at winning the State Title. He would
take this idea of his to Barnard and Robinette and see what they thought. After
many careful and thought out meetings it was decided to give it a try. Joe was
made the Manager, his job was to oversee the teams schedule and help motivate
the team as well as assist the coaches in their needs. Bill Barnard was the Head
Coach his duties was to make line-ups and set the schedule and get the team
C. P. and Me……81
ready to play. Marvin Robinette, also a coach, his duties hit practice to the girls,
coach 1st base, Marvin is an outstanding motivator. He also assisted Bill with
other team functions. Charles Davies was given the assignment of keeping the
scorers book. He had held that position for the past several years for Joe’s teams.
Joe, Bill, Marvin sat down and selected the team they felt would be competitive in
the tournament. They then arranged a tough home and away schedule with teams
they knew would bring the best out of their team. One evening at home,
Wednesday July 18th, Little Joe came into the family room from his room where
he had been working out with his weights. It was raining outside and he being
bored said to his mother and dad. “Why don’t you take the day off tomorrow dad,
and lets go to King’s Island (Amusement Park), I would like to take a couple of
my friends.” Mary said “It’s forecasting rain and besides your dad has to work”.
“Dad why can’t you call in and get a floating holiday, besides it’s not going to
rain their wrong”. After he left the room Joe and Mary discussed the situation.
They realized the kids didn’t ask for much very often mainly because they were
so involved in so many sports activities. Joe called his boss and got the day off,
then they called the kids into the room and told them that they could invite their
friends. Little Joe invited Dale Blackburn, John Brown. Valarie invited Charlene
Robinette The next day as they loaded everyone into the car it had started a small
drizzle of rain. Once they got to the Amusement Park the skies were clear and
C. P. and Me……82
everyone was having a good time. On this one occasion, Mary and the girls were
all together and John and Dale wanted to ride this one ride but Little Joe decided
to stay with his dad. Little Joe asked his dad if the two of them could go to the
arena and watch the seals perform. Little Joe sitting there said “Dad I’m having a
great time, I’m the luckiest kid in he world to have you and mom as my parents”.
Joe responded “no son, mom and I are the lucky ones to have two wonderful
children like you and Val”. They each stood up gave each other a hug then
hooked back up with everyone else at the designated time and place. As they
started home it began to rain and Little Joe said he was looking forward to playing
their scheduled game at knothole ballpark later that evening. All three boys were
on the same team. Big Joe was afraid the game might be rained out. As they
neared Shelbyville the skies again cleared. That evening at the game Little Joe
pitched the best game of the year. During the game Little Joe hit a home run and it
hit the top of the fence and bounced over. As he crossed the home plate he
glanced over at his dad and said “Pretty nice”. Joe responded with pride “You got
lucky”. Next at bat Little Joe’s coach had him switch hit and he hit a three run
home run and as he crossed home plate he glanced at his dad and Joe said nice job
son. The next day at work on Friday July 20th at 11:05 a.m. Joe was called into
the Managers office and informed that his son had been involved in a moped-
automobile accident and had lost his life. Joe had to be driven home, the whole
C. P. and Me……83
family was in shock. Everyone showed their support to this family during this
stressful time. All these years later he is still dearly missed. Joe and Mary look
back on the days leading up to the accident.
THE fact that taking the trip to the Amusement Park was important to him.
THE fact that he expressed his feelings at the park about his parents.
THE fact that his last game was such a success.
THE fact he went home after the game and called several people he had had a
disagreement with in the past and had taken time to apologize.
These and many other incidents around that time made Mary and Joe sit back and
wonder. As a preacher and Joe’s mother were to say later that GOD HAS A
PLAN. The Speedy’s dream team had a wonderful year going 38-4 for the year.
They won the State title beating North Vernon in the Semi-finals, then beating
Mooresville in the Finals. Both Speedy’s and Mooresville qualified for the
National tourney. The Nationals held in Georgia were something to behold.
Speedy’s finished 12th in the nation, while Mooresville finished 17th. But the thing
that stood out in everyone’s mind was the fact that both teams from Indiana had to
play each other again, and Speedy’s again won the game. Two of the girls on the
Speedy’s team made the All National team, Valarie Pilk was selected as the left
fielder, and Shelly Caplinger was selected the shortstop. Valarie played for the 7th
grade basketball team and lead them in scoring and assist and steals.
C. P. and Me……84
Physical Changes 1983
Back at work Joe really plunged himself into his work, working hard kept his
mind occupied, this helped him work through the pain that losing a child can
cause. Mary continued to work and she remained in the state of shock. Everyone
was careful not to mention Little Joe around her for fear of causing her to suffer a
nervous breakdown. Mary and her children were very close and losing one of
them almost destroyed her. Through all of this the strongest was Valarie and she
was the glue to holding this family together. Meanwhile at work Joe’s manager
was still trying to intimidate him. He even tried to suspend Joe for three days
without pay, but did not have the justification needed. Joe finally had to go to the
law department and have them intervene. After an internal investigation into the
incident was completed the Manager had to give a personal apology, also he had
to replace a Asst. Supervisor nameplate. He had destroyed it one day while having
a dispute with Joe. At work Joe had met a new friend, a cousin to Roger Gregg,
his name David Delp. David was the son of Vice-President Jerry Delp who also
worked for the Insurance Company. The group that meets every few months
includes Joe, Jerry McNulty, Roger Gregg, David Yates, David Delp and the main
man Bernie Lenihan. Bernie is the key to this group, he is the one who calls these
guys together. Everyone really likes Bernie he is truly respected by the group.
Bernie is a wonderful person and a gracious friend. One day while delivering
C. P. and Me……85
packages to the various offices Joe was approached by a man who asked him to
drop by his office when he had a few extra minutes to spare. Arriving at the man’s
office Joe was introduced to a Doctor Tressler. Doctor Tressler asked Joe if he
would mind discussing his handicap with him. Doctor Tressler said his field was
plastic surgery and he had noticed Joe on several occasions, mainly when he was
making deliveries. He said he didn’t want to make Joe feel uneasy but had
discussed Joe’s condition with the officers of the Insurance Company. They had
discussed Joe’s work performance, his attitude, and his ability to get his work
assignments done without using or complaining about his disability. The decision
was made to do something for Joe maybe to help his physical condition. Joe was
very receptive and said he would be totally grateful for any improvement that
could be made. Doctor Tressler examined Joe’s arm in the fetal position and his
right leg that was also affected. He then told Joe he would like to set up an
appointment for Joe to be checked over by a Specialist friend of his, a Doctor
Strickland at Saint Vincents Hospital whose profession was in the area of the
hand. At the first meeting Doctor Strickland met with Joe, Mary, and Joe’s mother
Ruth. He had test run on Joe and questioned the three at great lengths. Ruth told
Doctor Strickland about Joe having Polio and also about Infantile Paralysis that
left his leg in the condition it was in. Doctor Strickland then gave Joe a complete
check over. At the second meeting Doctor Strickland said he wanted to run one
C. P. and Me……86
more test and it was a scan of his brain. Joe immediately got on the offensive, and
informed the doctor that he wasn’t mentally ill. The doctor looked at the results
and then he concluded. The bad news is all these years your family was
misinformed, and had you known the true problem you could have worked toward
correction. It’s just staggering to see the amount of strength you have in your bad
arm. Joe then explained the physical workout his father had designed for him. The
good news is that the true cause of your condition is from Cerebral Palsy. “What
is that” Joe asked? Doctor Strickland responded “ It’s brain damaged caused by
the lack of oxygen, to the brain’s motor nerve area. In your case the motor nerves
on the back left side of the brain that controls the functions of the right side of the
body has been damaged leaving you in your present physical condition. However
we can rebuild the hand, take bone from the hip area, and freeze the wrist thus
keeping the hand from curling up. Then we can bring the arm from the fetal
position to a normal hanging position by your side by cutting tendons. Next we
rebuild the tendons and ligaments in the hand insert a steel rod to keeps the bones
from breaking while we put you through our therapy program. One of two things
can happen, First the hand might actually work better, Second it will look normal
and you’ll feel better about yourself. In some cases both things could happen.”
Joe said “When can we get started.” The doctor said he would schedule
everything and get back in touch. Joe went back to work and informed Doctor
C. P. and Me……87
Tressler of what was the plan of action. Depending on the arrangements of the
operation Joe had to wait to schedule his vacation time around all this. Valarie
played for the 8th grade team and led the team in scoring and assist. She was
looking forward to moving to the high school level the next year.
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Sporting A New Look 1984
Going into his final scheduled meeting just before surgery Joe, his wife and his
mother, were excited. Doctor Strickland made the comment that he and Don Hein
were friends and that he was a basketball player himself and that he probably
ought to play Joe before he rebuilt the right arm. Doctor Strickland then showed
them the x-rays that showed a small cyst on the back left lobe of the brain. This
had caused the damage to the right side of his body. The fact that his disabled arm
was so strong amazed the doctor. But after hearing about his exercise program
and his job duties at work the doctor understood the findings. Surgery went great
everything went according to plan. Then the next several weeks Joe was in
therapy. Using vacation time and sick leave Joe was doing very well. Joe didn’t
look like the same person his arm was no longer in the fetal position it hung
normal by his side. He could now use the fingers on his right hand, and he could
grasp things not damaging them. He could do things like pick up objects, he could
now even shake hands. He now could do simple things like
C. P. and Me……88
grasp boxes in the correct manner, he could hold paper in his hand without any
damage. He now had 35% use instead of the 15% use he had before the operation.
Doctor Strickland informed Joe the more he worked at improved development the
more use of his right side he would gain. He now also had the advantage of using
both hands to play basketball with. He often comments had he had this operation
20 years earlier where would he be today. However he said that he is just thankful
that people afforded him the opportunity for his development. Joe’s only regret is
that his father and son was not around to see the wonderful changes. Valarie now
in the 9th grade made a dramatic difference to the basketball program. It was felt
that she would have made the Varsity squad with no problems, but the decision
was made to place her on the Junior Varsity where she would be a starter.
However this move prevented Valarie from ever receiving her proper reward in
the basketball program, because the points she accumulated during that season
never applied to her career point total. She however averaged 18 points per game
that season. Back at work everyone was extremely happy for Joe and his
successful operation. Joe’s friend Jerry McNulty was moving up in the Company,
he was promoted to Supervisor of the warehouse. Joe continued his job as
Inventory Specialist and his co-worker Janet Ware was the other Inventory
Specialist. His co-worker Donna LaMasters was now the Assistant Supervisor.
Joe was glad for Donna’s promotion because he said all along she was one of the
C. P. and Me……89
hardest workers in the warehouse. Joe knew that as long as his current Manager
was in charge he had no opportunity for advancement. Joe had purchased an old
68 Camero, he was rebuilding for Little Joe at the time of his accident in 1982. He
continued to work on the car and it was to belong to Valarie. Being able to use
both hands made the rebuilding of the car a quicker possibility. He and Mary had
the car painted their daughter’s favorite color, it was a 1968 Camero, Super Sport
with a 327 Chevy engine with bucket seats, they presented it to her on her 16th
birthday. Joe purchased a 1969 Camero from his cousin Dee Chaney who had
purchased the automobile in Texas. The car had no engine and needed a lot of
work done to restore it. When it was finished it was outstanding in looks and
performance. Valarie was working hard at her studies, she was the perfect
daughter, she was self-motivated, her only disappointment was not playing on the
Varsity because her skill level showed that is where she belonged. She was a team
leader as well as being a top member of her class. Again she was living proof that
through self-motivation and self-preservation and hard work that you can do
whatever you want in life. At work one day Joe’s close friend Shorty Price told
Joe that he needed to quit smoking for his health sake as well as protecting his
families health. At that same moment in time Joe’s mother had just had open heart
surgery, she was told by her doctor she had to quit smoking. Shorty upon hearing
about Joe’s mother took Joe’s cigarettes and lighter
C. P. and Me……90
from Joe and walked over and threw them in the trash. From that day forward Joe
and his mother never smoked another cigarette. Joe considers what Shorty did a
true act of friendship, someone looking out for a friend. Looking back Joe knows
this has added years to his life. Shorty stood only 5’ 0” tall, but Joe looks at him
as being one of the biggest friends in his life, a man who really new the worth of
being a friend.
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Scrapbook 1985
Joe was working on improving his physical condition, he had a new motivation
factor that being his new appearance was the driving force. Joe and Mary were
extremely proud of Valarie and her accomplishments. She was a devoted student
athlete. The girl spent countless hours staying in shape, working on her game and
doing her schoolwork. This year she was in the 10th grade and was on the Varsity,
she led her team in scoring and steals, she made the All-Area team in both athletic
and academics. She was selected to the All South Central Conference team. Mary
would cut the articles out of the paper and Joe made a scrapbook for Valarie. Joe
was still working at the Insurance Company and it didn’t matter when or what
time they wanted him to work he always made himself available. Joe loved to
study about law and he began to do detective work on the side helping students
who were in trouble with the school. Most of his investigation usually led to the
C. P. and Me……91
findings, of a simple misunderstanding of the school verses the parents or the
child, neither of which wanted to cooperate. The most rewarding case was that of
one of the sons of one of Joe’s best friends. The school and the boy’s parents
were at odds. The boy carried the highest grade average in his class, and because
he wouldn’t partake in gym class the school was going to give him a failing grade.
The school kept sending home written documentation concerning his attending
gym classes. After talking with the parents and the child Joe found out that the
child had a severe case of asthma. Joe had the parents secure a written document
from their physician describing the condition. He then met with the High School
principal giving him a copy of the document. The principal then arranged for the
boy to attend gym classes and take care of valuables and personal items belonging
to the other students. Thus the boy maintained his high grade average, had the
parents communicated with the school in the beginning all this could have been
avoided. Why Joe is so glad he became involved is because this young man went
on to be Lord Mayor of his senior class. Then later was on the Dean’s List at his
college.
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C. P. and Me……92
New Interest 1986
Ever since the lost of her brother, her cousin Darrin Pilk was always with
Valarie looking out for her and acting like a big brother. They played basketball at
the Boy’s Club. As Valarie put it the better competition meant better preparation,
and always up-graded her skill level. One day while playing basketball she met
this handsome young man, Scott Gossage, who was playing in the same game she
was in. They immediately became attracted to each other and became instant
friends. From that first encounter they were to become close and you would
always see them together. While at home one weekend Mary’s brother’s wife
asked if Mary could watch their son while they went somewhere, he was
.approximately two to three months old. From that point forward Little John
named after his father became a permanent fixture at the Pilk household. What a
blessing he was, everyone loved him and he in turn returned that love. Scott and
Valarie took him everywhere they went he was treated like a little brother. Joe
and Mary treated him like they treated Valarie and Scott. Little John rarely went
home and when he did he was usually back with the Pilk’s in a matter of days. Joe
was having a good year with the Insurance Company. He was still working on his
physical appearance and he knew this would never change because he truly
believed that his condition would deteriorate. Of course the experts said that your
condition would not get any worse. Joe was improving on about all phases of his
C. P. and Me……93
life. He received a commendable rating on his work performance, he just missed a
distinguish rating by three points. Valarie again led her high school team and
received the same honors she had received the previous year. She again
maintained an 18 point per game average. With Scott and Little John a part of the
Pilk family everything was great. Mary was the backbone of this family, everyone
was dependent upon her. Even though she still worked nights she was able to
complete her household duties, it was just unbelievable that she could get all this
accomplished.
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Proud Moment 1987
Things were going great and the Pilk family was blessed. Joe had received his
long sought after distinguished performance rating at work. This was the 5th time
in his career that he held the best rating in his department. There were other in his
department that was just as deserving but that is what pushed Joe to excel at his
job. Oddly enough each of the five performance reviews were given by different
Supervisors. Joe had been working a lot of hours for the Insurance Company. Joe
was going in early during the week and working most Saturdays. Joe and Mary
were extremely proud of all Valarie’s accomplishments. ALL OF HER
ACCOMPLISHMENTS ARE LISTED IN THE BACK OF THIS BOOK.
What more could a parent expect, nothing you can be sure. This year she again
C. P. and Me……94
led her team in scoring with an 18.9 average. She was near the top in all the other
areas of the game. She and her close friend Charlene Robinette both received
Scholarships to Southeastern Illinois College. Joe was busy creating a new
business assisting high school students find financial aid benefits, and grants. He
started the business out of his home and called it College Connections. Using his
knowledge to assist parents in finding financial aid made Joe feel good plus there
was no charge involved for his services. Two friends wanted to help in the
business and Joe was glad for the assistance. However it turned sour when the two
friends wanted to charge a fee for their services. He quickly disbanded the
company. Joe however continued to help others on his own. Valarie was
completing her senior year and was playing in her last high school game, when
her grandmother Rachel, (Mary’s mother), one of her biggest fans approached
Mary and said what a sad day it was because she would not be able to watch
Valarie play ball again. Mary and Joe had already decided that Joe would be
attending Valarie’s college games and was planning on taking Rachel and Little
John with him. Joe made arrangements at work with his Supervisor to have the
needed time off so that he would have the travel time. Just to attend home games
would mean a 4 ½ hour trip one way. More time needed to attend away games.
Some as far away as Tennessee and Arkansas would require a lot more
C. P. and Me……95
travel time. Three weeks after her final high school game Valarie’s grandmother
suffered a fatal heart attach. Rachel had never before had any signs of heart
trouble. She passed away on February 10, 1987. During the summer Valarie
worked at the same Insurance Company as her father and her boyfriend Scott.
During that time the Insurance Company was conducting a health program
designed at getting the employees back in shape. Joe, Valarie, and Scott entered
the events to be held at a Sports Complex. In the last track event of the evening
guess who finished last. On his last lap Valarie and President Ben Lytle, Joe’s
close friend joined him on his last lap of the track. Everyone stood and cheered as
the three crossed the finish line. Joe would laugh and say later the reason for the
cheering was because they wanted to turn off the lights and go home, it was
getting so late. Joe really missed Rachel, (mother-in-law) she had grown to be one
of his best friends in life. Joe’s close friend Jerry McNulty had now become
Manager of the warehouse at another location in the city and he called Joe and
asked him to transfer to that location and again work for him as a Inventory
Specilist. The only catch was he would have to apply for the job going against his
friend Janet Bivens who was also applying for the job. Joe landed the job and
Janet joined the team later when an expansion occurred. Jerry was the one person
in the Company that was directly responsible for Joe getting the time off needed
to attend his daughter’s college basketball games.
C. P. and Me……96
Life’s Changing Ways 1988
Valarie after graduating high school, was overlooked by the All-Star
Committee, she being one of the top players in the state. She was truly
disappointed and had every right to be she had paid her dues so to speak, but
politics took its tow. It wasn’t fair but life is full of disappointments. Going away
to college, letting her go was tough on Joe and Mary. Valarie never complained or
asked anything of her parents, they provided as best as they could. During a
college scrimmage game Charlene got hurt, the injury was so severe that an
operation had to be performed and her basketball career was over. The college
however honored her scholarship and she remained at school got her education
and helped the team in other areas. Joe was now working at his new location for
the Insurance Company called the Government Data Center. The Vice-
President in charge was Gary Richardson, the Manager was Jerry McNulty. Joe
really liked working for Jerry the two had unbelievable respect for each other. Joe
attended all Valarie’s games that year and she started every game. She maintained
an outstanding grade average and also led her team in scoring. She was selected to
the All-Conference team and made the All-Tourney team. Little John attended a
lot of games with Joe and Valarie was always glad to see her little buddy. Valarie
had a part-time job at the college, this afforded her the ability to have extra
money. Joe was working part-time in the evenings in his garage repairing
C. P. and Me……97
automobiles. He continued his workouts and he also played basketball when he
had the time. This afforded him a way of staying in shape. His fondest memory of
shooting basketball came after work one evening. Playing a game of HORSE in
basketball against his friend Roger Gregg. The competition was so fierce that one
game alone lasted till dark. They shot the ball so much that it took 19 attempts in
a row just to get one letter on the other guy.
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Most Valuable 1989
Joe was blessed that the Company afforded him the time off needed to attend
all his daughter’s games. Except one the weather was so bad he couldn’t make the
game. Joe had a new Supervisor Michael Everhart and they got along very well.
Actually Joe worked for Michael ever since Joe’s transfer however this year
Michael was also given total responsibility of the warehouse plus the other
department he was over. Valarie again led her team in scoring and made the All-
Conference, All-Tourney, and selected most valuable player of the tournament.
She still maintained her high grade average. She was selected by a major college
in Ohio, but after a few weeks on Campus decided she wanted to be back home
near her family. She then returned to Shelbville got a job working and attended
classes in the evenings, working toward her bachlors degree. One amazing
accomplishment for Valarie was the fact she maintained a high grade average and
C.P. and Me……98
a 18 point plus average all through high school and college. Joe and Mary were
blessed to have such a wonderful daughter. The Insurance Company continued to
grow and the warehouse hired someone from the downtown warehouse to work
along side Joe it was his old co-worker Eric Smith. Joe and one of his friends
started a two on two, basketball tourney at the Insurance Company. Joe and his
teammate, Robert Gavagan finished as runner-ups that first year. His friend Brian
Hollis and his teammate won the tourney. Joe again worked in his garage
repairing automobiles. Joe continued to do his physical fitness program so that he
could maintain the best physical condition possible.
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Company Continues To Grow 1990
The Insurance Company continued to grow at a tremendous rate. Jerry
continued to hire in more people and Joe was working for two of the best leaders
in the Company. Michael Earhart had left the Company and moved back to
Kansas. This year Joe would work for Henry Truss, and Lucille Shively. Working
with co-workers like Rick Wessel, Eric Smith, Janet Bivens, Larry Peterson,
Craig Ross, and Don Whetro was a lot of fun. Valarie was going to school at
night working toward her bachelor’s degree. Joe began working two jobs, the
Insurance Company during the day, and a business he started at home called
C.P. and Me……99
C.C.C Cleaning. The 1st C stood for janitorial, 2nd C stood for landscaping yard
work, 3rd C stood for Car Care interior and exterior. These two jobs kept him very
busy and didn’t leave much time for his family. Jerry was bringing in more work
at the Insurance Company and his two Supervisor’s Henry and Lucille were
taking care of handling the daily business affairs. That left Joe the Inventory
Specialist practically in charge of the warehouse area. Joe didn’t mind, it did two
things, first, made him feel good about being responsible, second, the day always
passed by rather quickly. The Company again held a two on two tourney and
Joe’s friend and co-worker Craig Ross and his team-mate won. Joe didn’t play
this year he felt he was too slow to carry his share of the load, the year before his
partner was 20 years old, compared to Joe being 48. Joe and Eric Smith entered a
team in the three on three tourney, (Gus Macker). Feeling that they would be in
the older bracket because of Joe’s age, how wrong they were. They played hard
but had to settle for the alternate loser’s bracket and finished third in the (Toilet
Bowl). This would be the last tourney Joe would play in he was slowing down
plus his legs and knees were in so much pain. Valarie was now working toward
her Masters degree. Valarie and Scott were married in July and they had a
beautiful wedding. Scott was a wonderful addition to the family and Joe and Mary
are extremely proud of him. Valarie had made a good choice in choosing a
lifetime partner. Mary was still working nights at the factory job and it was
C. P. and Me……100
beginning to effect her health, mainly carpal-tunnel in her hands. She didn’t
complain a lot but Joe knew something was wrong. At first she didn’t want to talk
about her problem, finally after Joe kept after her she told him what was wrong.
She had gone to the company doctor and he said nothing was wrong. She went
back a second time and he again said that he could find nothing and she needed to
realize that the company was not responsible for her situation. Being so tired after
her shift was over she finally went to her family doctor he confirmed what
everyone already knew she had carpal-tunnel. Going back to the company doctor,
he said it wasn’t the company’s responsibility that it wasn’t caused from her job.
Joe immediately went to her company doctor and told him that he was going to
take her to a hand specialist in Indianapolis. The company doctor told Joe that he
should not be interfering in this matter to stay out of it. Joe immediately
scheduled Mary to see his hand Specialist Dr. James Strickland. After
examination and a written confirmation from Dr. Strickland that it indeed was
carpal tunnel and Mary had to secure a lawyer and sue the Company, the law suit
would take years to complete.
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Company Changing 1991
The Government Data Center had changed hands. The new name of the
Company was AdminiStar Print Mail. It was still a part of the Insurance
C. P. and Me……101
Company, but now was geared toward doing mass mailings and microfilming.
Under new leadership, the President was Travis McWhorter. A dynamic
individual, a master motivator. He believed in rewarding the people who worked
hard. He promoted Jerry McNulty to Vice-President. Travis designed a award to
go to an employee, and a management employee. The award called Wingmate of
the Month and went to two individuals that were outstanding in their work
performance. Then at the end of the year he presented the Golden Wingmate of
the Year award to one outstanding employee, and one outstanding management
person. Joe liked his job and worked very hard at it because it did two things. (1)
enjoyed his job, hard work meant reaping the benefits and being appreciated. (2)
the physical work provided the fuel needed to keep his body in shape. Joe won
Wingmate of the month this year. Because of his cleaning business he was offered
a part-time job in Greenwood Indiana, working for a janitorial service. He still
worked full time at the Insurance Company. On December 1, 1991 Valarie gave
birth to a boy Scott and Valarie were proud parent of Kyle Randall Gossage. The
proud grandparents Joe and Mary always found time to be around their grandson.
Mary helped Valarie with her child and looked out for her daughter until she was
back on her feet. The family doctor said that Mary’s helping was the best
medication in the world for her in helping her deal with the loss of her son. When
the baby arrived Mary seen to develop a new purpose, and a new
C. P. and Me……102
responsibility. Joe was thrilled now Mary could enjoy life a little more. Also
Mary and Joe continued to support Little John by going to his school functions
and supply the finances his parents could not afford. Joe and Mary knew Little
John’s parents were strapped for money and they were blessed they were able to
help. Little John was doing well in school. His teachers and principle were very
proud of him. The principle noted John had trouble getting his parents involved
and he assumed this was because of there being backward. A tragic accident
occurred and claimed the life of his principle and his wife. After that loss John
was never the same, he could care less about school. He ended up moving from
school to school and always in trouble. Joe and Mary offered to take him in and
work with him but his parents wanted no part of that. Joe and Mary and the rest of
the family would have little contact with Little John until he reached the age of
18.
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Mary Changed Direction 1992
Working so many hours at both his full time job and his part-time job didn’t
leave Joe very much time for Mary and the rest of his family. Mary was doing it
all taking care of the home, the family, and working nights. The night job was just
causing so much physical and mental stress. One day she asked Joe if he would
C.P. and Me……103
care if she quit her job, she and Valarie had discussed the idea of Mary becoming
the permanent baby sitter. Valarie had not let anyone other than Mary watch the
baby and since she was going back into the work force she wanted her mother to
babysit. Joe was delighted everyone was happy, Scott and Valarie had someone to
watch the baby, and Mary was doing what she wanted and was feeling better.
After a few weeks went by Mary was becoming the Mary of old, what a
wonderful transformation. Joe and Eric at work were practically running the
warehouse and Joe old friend Larry Stader, his son had started working in the
microfilm area, his name was Kenny Stader. Janet (Ware) Bivens, was still there
and the three Eric, Joe, Janet kept things going for Jerry McNulty. Joe received
the highest award given by the Company, the Golden Wingmate of the year. His
friend in management received the same award her name was Kathleen Howald.
The direction of the Company was constantly in change, the employees were
constantly the same, hard working and dependable. Joe was very happy working
and he really was working toward the goals he had set for himself.
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Hardwork 1993
Joe continued to work at both his jobs as well as continue to workout. Joe was
constantly becoming tired from trying to do two jobs as well as keep his daily
C. P. and Me……104
workouts these days consisted of just working at both jobs and around the house
on weekends. He was starting to put weight on which caused his legs even more
pain. At his part-time job working for Larry Short and his wife was great. They
were wonderful people and they treated Joe very well, plus the pay was great. Joe
and Mary spent time together on Saturday afternoons and Sundays. Mary even
help Joe on his part-time job when he worked in the local area. The whole family
missed Little John and the time they all spent together. He was allowed to come
down only twice during the year, but even that stopped when his parents refused
to let him come down. The parents said that Joe and Mary could come up and
spend two hours with Little John, taking him to lunch. But that he could not go
home for the weekend, because the two families lifestyles being so different left
Little John confused and would ultimately be detrimental to his well being. They
even found fault with the school over Little John’s educational problems. The
Insurance Company continued to grow and management changes took place. Al
Beckley was now in charge of the warehouse and he appointed Joe’s friend Don
Whetro as Asst. Supervisor. Don carried out his duties and had everyone’s
respect.
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Family Blessed Again 1994
On Feburary 25, 1994 Valarie gave birth to a boy, Christopher Tyler Gossage
C. P. and Me……105
Scott and Valarie were now the proud parents of two beautiful boys. Both
parents would devote most of their time too their children. Little John parents
wanted a meeting with Joe and Mary. John was becoming more of a problem for
them and they felt it was because of the influence that Mary and Joe had on him.
Because Mary and Joe supplied him with things they could not afford to give him,
he had developed an attitude problem. Joe knew that the real problem was the
difference in lifestyles and he told them how he and Mary felt. Joe and Mary left
knowing they would never have any contact with Little John again. At work Joe
was having a great year. Al Beckley had a lot of confidence in Joe’s ability and
knowledge of the warehouse. Al formed a team consisting of himself, Donna
LaMasters, and Joe and they sat down and picked a new Manager out of over a
hundred canidates. The man they picked flew in from Georgia. He was definitely
the best well organized, very knowledgeable and as Joe would say later a
privileged to work for. Joe Eric, Don, and Janet continued to work together in the
warehouse.
C. P. and Me……106
Retirement 1995
The Company was offering early retirement. He was surprised to learn that
he was one of the people being offered this opportunity. This was great he was
only 54 years of age and now would be able to spend quality time with the family.
When the Company made the offer he talked it over with Mary and
accepted. He waited to November wanting to complete 29 years of service. He
was scheduled to leave at the end of December but with his build-up of vacation
time was able to leave in early November. When he went to collect his early
retirement he found: (1st) he could not touch the money until he reach 59 ½ years
of age, what was he going to do after all he was only 54, this meant he had to find
a job. (2nd) the Company told him that if he stayed with them until retirement that
they would furnish his health insurance for he and his wife for the rest of their
lives, now they change policies and never once over the years informed him of
such a move, not only was he affected but several other employees retiring found
out the same shocking news. And the thing that bothered them the most was the
fact that employee already retired were receiving free insurance. This would
prove to be devastating because eventually paying for their insurance eating up
their retirement money. Joe and Mary would have to cancel their health
C. P. and Me……107
insurance because they could not afford to carry it. This year alone Joe and Mary
are paying more than $8000.00 dollar’s a year for health insurance. After leaving
the Insurance Company Joe got a job running an Employment Agency. There he
furnished temporary people to the various businesses and factories. Joe worked
hard and was treated fairly but wasn’t enjoying the job. He needed a physical job
because of his condition and went to work cutting grass at the local cemetery, he
loved the work but it was seasonal and he needed something full time. Joe’s sister
Karen who worked for the same Insurance Company retired at the same time and
sold her house and moved in with their mother. Mother’s eyesight was getting bad
and she wanted Karen to move in. They then could look out for each other. Joe
and Karen encouraged their mother to give up her driver’s license. Mother
continued to do a lot of walking with a personal friend to keep herself in good
shape. She also worked a lot of time in the yard and the garden she kept. Karen
also worked at the cemetery doing office work, she and Mother were good for
each other. The two spent a lot of time visiting Mother’s sister and brother.
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Needed Improvement 1996
During the summer Joe continued to cut grass at the cemetery. Enjoying the
work and liked the people he worked with and for. With winter fast approaching
he needed a job working inside so he kept putting his applications in everywhere.
C.P. and Me……108
His sister who was working at the local hospital heard of a opening in the
janitorial department. She called Joe who put in an application and was called in
for an interview. Joe, was then interviewed by Wilber Seymour, Supervisor of the
janitorial department. Wilber was also a preacher and he would become a close
personal friend of Joe’s. Wilber sent written material home with Joe on his first
day so that he could familiarize himself with each function on his job. It was
extremely important for Joe to learn everything because he would be dealing with
hazardous waste for the Hospital. The fourth day on the job a lady and several
members of her committee approached Joe and ask him to show the functions of
his job in detail. Instead of being rude and asking for proper identification, Joe
took his time and carefully showed them, describing each job function as he
performed it. After the committee left and Joe was getting ready to go to lunch, he
was called into Wilber’s office. Wilber explained that that committee was a
special one that goes from hospital to hospital and depending on their finding rate
the hospitals accordingly. In this case their hospital received one of the highest
rating in the entire state. Also the committee pointed out that one individual in
particular went beyond the call of duty, was very professional in his duties, and
possessed an outstanding attitude. The person they singled out was Joe. Joe was
thrilled because he had studied the material Wilber had given him, he was able to
complete each task. Joe continued to work at his part-time janitorial job in the
C.P. and Me……109
evenings, and Mary continued to help him when she had the time. These jobs
weren’t as fulfilling as his old Insurance job in the warehouse but life goes on and
no turning back, a person must continue forward.
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New Job-Old Friends 1997
The telephone rings, Joe answers and its his old boss who he worked for in
1966. Richard Wallace wanted Joe to meet him for lunch, he had heard of Joe’s
retirement from the Insurance Company. When they met for lunch Joe mentioned
that he was working at the hospital in the janitorial department. Richard
mentioned that he had a part-time opening in his mailroom. They enjoyed being
together again and catching up was a lot of fun. Once back home Joe discussed
the part-time job with Mary and she saw the excitement in Joe’s voice. She told
him to call Richard and accept the job. Joe called Richard and then he went to
work at the hospital and rendered his two weeks notice. Joe went to work at Key
Benefit Association, working in their mailroom. The job was on a temporary 90
day trial basis. Richard’s boss who is also an old friend of Joe’s a Mr. Wally
Gray, Vice-President, after the 90 day trial period they offered Joe a full time
position. Back at home Joe’s oldest grandson Kyle now five years of age was at
C.P. and Me……110
the boys club and they were presenting a starting program on Karate, presented by
Master Ken Jacobs of the Shelby Karate Club. After several sessions and Kyle’s
concentration level held up, Mr. Jacobs accepted Kyle as his newest member, one
of the youngest ever to join the club. Mary and Joe were shopping at a Mall when
they ran into Joe’s old Manager at the Insurance Company where he had retired.
They had sold out to another Company called Personix. The Manager told Joe
because the Company was sold that he could have his old job back providing he
could work nights. Going to work that night at his part-time janitorial job Joe
gave his two weeks notice. Working nights at Personix was a good feeling but he
was tired working two full time jobs. But this was nothing new working this many
hours over the years he had gotten use to it. He also knew that working these jobs
kept his physical condition in check. Joe however missed going to his grandsons
Karate classes, but Mary kept him up on the progress. The youngest grandson was
just hanging around with his grandmother and was doing well at art. Things were
really great for the Pilk’s.
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Helping A Friend 1998
There was something special about working for this new job at Key Benefit
Administrators. Being a mail clerk wasn’t the most glamorous of jobs. But he
knew working for Richard Wallace and Wally Gray again was special. He
C.P. and Me……111
couldn’t put figure out what made Key Benefit so special, then it hit him, it was
because the growth of this Company was the same as the growth of the Insurance
Company ,back in the 1960’s. And the people were warm and friendly. Larry
Dust the owner of Key Benefit was a very special person. He cared about the
people who worked for his Company, what a dynamic individual. One day
while working at Key Benefit Joe noticed Larry and the President of Major
Hospital, Tony Lennon, (where Joe use to work), getting off the elevator. Tony
said “ What are you doing here?” Joe replied that he now worked for Key Benefit.
Arriving home Joe found a note from Mary saying that his friend Sherman Parks
was in the hospital, Joe contacted Sherman’s sister to find out what was wrong.
Sherman was invincible in Joe’s eyes, he was like a professional athlete. Sherman
Parks stood 6’ 3” tall, weighted 227lb, and at the most 12% body fat. A veteran of
the U.S. Marine Corps. And looks like any man would want to look like. People
use to comment when Joe and Sherman were together in the Jaycees they looked
like the before and after look of a body builder. Joe was of course the before
because he was so skinny, a whopping 144lbs. The phone conversation with
Sherman’s sister was terrible news. Sherman for the past 3 years had sugar
diabetes and this past year had developed kidney failure problems and his vision
was failing. She also reported that he had lost 98lbs. She knew how close
Sherman and Joe were because he talked about Joe all the time. Joe had been so
C.P. and Me……112
busy making a living he hadn’t seen his friend in nearly 3 years and was not
aware of Sherman’s health problems. She wanted to know if Joe would go and
visit her brother at the hospital. Maybe Joe thought that if he visited Sherman he
would begin to believe in himself again, building self-confidence would maybe
turn his health problems around in the right direction. Joe was in shock, he saw a
shell of a man, he was a total mess, totally given up on life. He and his wife had
split up and were headed toward divorce. He lived in a small basement apartment
and missed seeing his daughter. The more they were apart the more they grew
apart, he felt he had nothing to live for. Joe knew in his heart there was no hope,
yet he tried to convince his friend to try harder. It was just a matter of time before
his body shut down. But Joe kept going over and did everything he could to help
his friend. They went places together, Joe trying hard to get Sherman to want to
live.
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Disagreement Leads To Job Loss 1999
Joe’s longtime friend and Supervisor Richard Wallace, who had hired Joe in at
Key Benefits retired. This was the second time that Richard had hired Joe and left,
but this time Joe was glad for his friend who was one of the best that would ever
enter Joe’s life. His new boss was a lady, to say she was demanding was the best
way to put it. During this period of time Joe’s co-worker Brent Bellers, the two
C.P. and Me……113
were close and work together extremely well. Neither one would get along with
this new Supervisor but they reached the point that they both turned in their two
weeks notice on the same day. After leaving Key Benefits Joe really missed the
job and the people who worked there. Still working full time at nights, but
now resting during the daytime and spending more time working on his physical
condition. Three months went by and Joe had to return to Key Benefits to pick up
his tax forms, rather than have them mailed thus this would give him the
opportunity to see all the friends he missed working with. After picking up his tax
papers he ran into his old boss in the lobby of the building. She told him that he
was missed by everyone at Key Benefit she said she had another opening in the
mailroom and would like Joe to take the job. She said that the man running the
mailroom was Ryan Smith. She said Ryan would be in charge and could Joe
handle that situation? Joe knowing he use to be in charge said that would be no
problem and he and Mary would discuss the job. Joe and Mary and Joe’s mother
who was with them on their journey home from Key Benefits discussed the job in
detail. Needing the added income Joe accepted the job. Joe again was working
with the wonderful people at Key Benefits. This time around Joe and the
Supervisor got along very well. Joe believes some of the problem the first time
around might be partly his fault because he hadn’t given her a fair chance at
performing her job, after all she had taken the place of his friend Richard Wallace.
C.P. and Me……114
While at work Joe received the phone call he had long dreaded. His good friend
Sherman Parks had a fatal heart attack while at the hospital receiving treatment
for his kidney condition and passed away. Joe was stunned even though he knew
and expected it for some time, he wasn’t prepared for the news. But the message
was to serve as a warning to Joe about his own health. He had always worked out
physically but had not watched what he ate, therefore had put on considerable
amount of weight. Mary and Joe bought themselves a treadmill and began to
exercise. Meanwhile back at Key Benefits Joe and his new lead person Ryan
Smith worked together as a team, they really got along well. Ryan was a quiet
reserved person, Joe was just the opposite outspoken and very outgoing. Ryan and
Joe were close and they worked so good together that Joe would say later that
they knew the job so well that if one had a question, the other would probably
have an answer.
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Great Year Ahead 2000
Working felt good and his family was well, what more could you expect. Joe
was so use to working two jobs it just became routine. His oldest grandson Kyle
was now eight years of age and had been in karate three years. Master Jacobs had
brought Kyle along well and he had earned his black belt. The youngest grandson
C.P. and Me……115
Tyler was now six years of age and was still working with his art. Valarie and
Scott were doing well. One weekend Joe began to experience some pain in his
arm and chest, Mary took him to the hospital emergency area to be checked out.
They decided to keep Joe in the hospital to run further test. Waking up in the
hospital Joe was surprised to see the owner of Key Benefits Larry Dust, the
President of Indiana Health Network, Glenda Masiuk, and Gayle Byers standing
at the foot of his bed. This would forever be a humbling experience for Joe, how
fortunate he was that they took the time out of their busy lives to look in on him.
Larry said that if there was anything he could do to let him know. Joe thanked all
of them and a few days later made a full recovery and returned to work. The test
proved that lack of rest and stress was what was causing Joe’s problems. Karen
was still living with mother and the two were doing well. Mary was still baby
sitting and loved what she was doing. Joe looked forward to the weekends so that
he could spend quality time with his family. Joe was still doing exercising but the
problem was his left good side was so much stronger and visibly bigger than his
right side. Joe was aware of this difference and it bothered him. He just didn’t
have the knowledge to know how to correct this situation. Trying to increase his
exercise program only brought fatigue, still working two jobs. Joe could only lift
3lb with his bad hand and that was only from the floor to his waist. Valarie was
C.P. and Me…….116
trying to get her dad to cut back on his hours but the money he earned was
needed. Two things were happening financially, they were:
(1) $1000.00 dollars a month was leaving the investment account to pay for
health insurance for Joe and Mary, that they were suppose to receive
free.from his retirement, (2) the two full time jobs, paychecks were paying
for everything else, the two checks added up to what Joe was making at his
one job before retirement.
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Harassment 2001
Working at night Joe really enjoyed his job. Especially working with his co-
workers Billy Cooper, (warehouse), Craig Ross and Larry Peterson, (data-
Processing) also Scott, (Maintenance). One night a Vice-President in charge of
the Company came to the warehouse and ask Billy and Joe to help on a project
that needed to be completed that evening. Joe’s part of the job was to set the
boxes on the scale, weight them, place label on cartons and place them on the
skids. Joe was lifting a box up to place on the scale when it accidentally slipped
out of his bad hand. Getting a new grip on the box he finally placed it on the
scale. In a very harsh tone and totally out of the blue the Vice-President said “Are
you sure you can handle this job, with the dexterity problem you have with your
C. P. and Me……117
hand”. Joe was totally embarrassed. Both Billy and the Manager looked up and
both responded. Billy said “Just keep on working buddy don’t think nothing about
what was said”. The Manager said” That was uncalled for Joe has been working
at this job for many years and never once has anyone questioned his ability to
complete any job.” Joe was bothered by a harassment comment for the first time
in his life. He went to Personnel and filed a complaint nothing was done to the
Vice-President. He sent Certified letters to the main office, in separate states, to
have something done, again nothing was done. His only alternative was to secure
a lawyer, and file charges, but the expense, plus would the Manager step up and
tell what happened, Joe didn’t think so, so he dropped the matter. However after
that incident he would never speak to that Vice-President again. Back home his
grandson Kyle was so involved in karate, under the Supervision of Master Jacobs
he was now learning the art of using weapons, to be used in demonstrations.
There were two different weapons he was doing and Kyle’s ability put him near
the top in that area. Tyler’s was still into art and his skill level was outstanding for
his age. Joe was still working with Ryan Smith and they were quite a team and
had Key Benefit mailroom in great shape. One day while on his mail run Joe ran
into the owner of Key Benefit, Larry Dust, Larry asked Joe to step into his office.
His comments were “how’s your health coming along are you feeling better”, Joe
tC.P. and Me……118
answered “Yes”. Larry then spoke again “ I understand you are working two
jobs”. Joe answered “yes, right now but eventually I’ve got to cut back because
the doctor said I need to slow down and take better care of my health. I told the
doctor I was getting plenty of exercise but he feels with the two jobs I’m pushing
my body too hard”. Larry said “I want you to work on giving up your night job
and just working for us”. Joe then went on to explain his individual
situation. Joe and Larry had a good meeting and Joe went to work that evening
and put in his two weeks notice. Much later Joe told Mary that he would forever
be respectful, grateful, and was humbled to be working for such a great man. He
went on to say that when he decided to retire permanently he wanted to retire
from Key Benefits. What had transpired during the meeting had given Joe a vote
of confidence that he would never relinquish.
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A Time Of Changes 2002
Joe’s grandson Kyle started the year out right by becoming a 2nd degree black
belt. Valarie, Scott, Tyler, and Kyle had joined another karate club geared toward
the Olympia style format, Shelby County Karate Club, run by Instructor Ryan
Hubbs a defending National Champion. Kyle’s old club was geared toward the
traditional style karate. At work one day Joe asked Ryan Smith why he look so fit
and Ryan said that he had joined a health club and had been working out. He told
C.P. and Me……119
Joe that he though that he would enjoy the workouts, mainly because of all Joe’s
past exercise routines that he had been doing over the years. Joe told Ryan that his
daughter and her family was taking karate lessons at the Athletic Club in
Shelbyville and he would look into joining. After going to the club and getting a
tour he decided against joining because the monthly rates were just too high. A
week later Joe pulled into the Athletic Club parking lot to wait for Valarie and her
family to go to karate classes. While sitting there a man came out of the club and
approached Joe. Joe rolled down the window to say hello. The man said he was
looking out the door as Joe was pulling into the parking lot. He said God told him
that he needed to offer Joe a special rate to join the club. Joe took the offer home
and discussed it with Mary, then promptly joined the club. He couldn’t lift much
weight. He could only lift 3lb. from the floor to his waist, and 2lb above his head
using his bad arm. At work one day Joe ran into the owners son Scott Dust, who
is a personal trainer. He was home from college and quickly took Joe under his
guidance and set up a program for Joe to follow. Joe followed Scott’s instruction
on his workout program but found it easy to cheat working alone, and easy to
make excuses as to why he couldn’t workout. As Joe continued to workout at the
Shelby County Athletic Club, the owner Ray Schebler, and his employees Randy
Jobe, Al Taylor, Dave Minnich, and Cindy Moore all worked with Joe showing
him the proper use of the exercise equipment. About 2 months into his workouts
C.P. and Me……120
Joe met another person who was to change Joe’s outlook on workout routines. Jon
Arthur you could tell by just looking at him he knew what needed to be done. Joe
would constantly ask him questions about proper exercises. Jon looked the way
every man wants to look. Joe suddenly realized someone was looking out for him
and he knew it was the Good Lord. Then Joe remembered something his mother
had told him. GOD HAS A PLAN FOR YOU AND ITS UP TO YOU TO FIND
AND EXECUTE THAT PLAN.
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Recognition 2003
While working at Key Benefit Administration Joe has had the privilege of
experiencing many wonderful things. One of the most enjoyable, was watching
brothers Scott Dust and Neil Quigley and their teammates win the High School
State Baseball title playing at the Indianapolis Indians professional complex.
What a way to end a high school career. These brothers along with their other
brother David Quigley are the sons of Larry and Anita Dust, these parents are
extremely proud of their four children as they should be. Joe has been fortunate to
work around and beside these four young people. David and his friend Zack Wills
worked with Joe in the Mailroom. Watching these young people grow and
become young adults was a tremendous feeling. This year has been real rewarding
for Joe because of his two friends, Scott and Jon taking the time to help him
C.P. and Me……121
develop his workout program, designed at getting Joe back in shape. This year he
has attained a perfect attendance at Key Benefits and was a candidate for
consideration of Employee Of The Year. Just being mentioned what an honor. Joe
has learned from his mother, TO TREAT EVERYONE, AS YOU WANT TO BE
TREATED. Joe and his good friend Robbie Bacon meet twice a day for their
breaks. Joe often jokes that he and Robbie would like others to join them in Group
Therapy, no takers apparently the word is out. At home Joe is truly proud of his
family. Mary is the heart and soul of this family. Joe is also extremely proud of
Scott and Valarie and their sons Kyle and Tyler. The four of them do things
together as a family, and they all remain extremely humble in their
accomplishment. Everything they do amazes Joe and Mary. The kids think dad
makes to big of a deal in what they do. Mary supports and encourages Joe to work
hard at the Health Center.
The Ultimate Year 2004
I was hoping to end this book during this current year. I wanted my mother to
be able to see the book completed while she was alive and well. At Key Benefit
Association I have been blessed to work with people that exemplify what good
friends are, and what a Company should be made up of. Working with people like
John Howard, Kevin Adams, Vince Smith, Don Jamison, and Mike Messer. Not
only did we get along well working together, but we shared great times together
C.P. and Me……122
after work. My close friend Mike Kovaleski , probably one of the most sincere,
humble and dedicated family men, it to me is an honor to be his friend and he is
so modest about his accomplishments in life but he knows the Good Lord above
gets all the credit as it should be. Robbie Bacon I have learned so much from this
man, his friendship is so valuable to me and because of him I continue to improve
as a human being. Ann Inman thanks for being there for me, for I could not have
completed and gotten this message out to everyone about overcoming Cerebral
Palsy without your help and guidance. Finally I want to thank a person who leads
by example. He set a standard of what a human being should be. A devoted
family man as well as one of the leaders for this outstanding Company. If you
want to be successful in life and the work environment this man Tom Satarino,
the kind of person you want to surround yourself with. This year by working out
at the Shelby County Athletic Club I have now 85% use of my right arm. Both
arms are now the same size. My family accomplishments this year were amazing.
Valarie and Scott the past couple of years were both two time defending State and
National Champions in Karate. They both are being humble about their feats.
Their youngest son Tyler came out of no-where to surprise everyone and was
runner-up in his division at the National Karate Championships. He had to win an
amazing seven bouts in a row to be in the championship match. In that match he
lost 2-1, but he showed everyone his competitive spirit, a real winner. The oldest
C. P. and Me……123
son Kyle holds a 2nd degree black belt in Karate, he finished 4th at the Nationals.
Kyle who is 12 years of age has been in Karate for seven years and has won an
amazing 90% of his matches. His last match in the Missouri Open, Kyle was
suppose to finish 4th, he upset the top three seeds and won the tournament. Mary
is still the foundation for this family, her support and encouragement pushing me
to work harder at improving my physical being. Mary is responsible for me
becoming a better person in life. Little John isn’t so little anymore, he stands 6”0”
tall, and weighs more than 200lbs. He has been back with us since turning 18
years of age, we are encouraging him to work toward his G.E.D. He is currently
working at finding and improving himself. This year I lost my precious mother
and I intend to continue to reach the goals I have set for myself, the ones she
wanted for me. I intend to finish out my career with Key Benefit Administration
in the next two years. This Company has been extremely helpful, supporting me
and I want to reach out to others and hopefully this book will encourage them.
AS LIFE ENDS; On June 18 2004, I lost my mother who had been in failing
health for the past 1½ years. Ruthie as most knew her, lived a very meaningful
and wonderful life. She was so proud of her kids, Kenneth (Joe), and Karen. Her
grandchildren and great grandchildren meant the world to her. Every day of her
life she would ask Joe and Karen about their health. Never in my entire life did I
ever hear my mother speak in a negative manner about anyone. Even as death was
C.P. and Me……124
upon her in a faint voice she asked me if I was feeling well, truly a mothers love. I
in knowing the end was near, asked her “Mother may I kiss your feet, for I have
never kissed the feet of an angel,” with a faint smile she nodded yes. How
precious that moment was, for later that day she had gone to be with the Lord.
AS LIFE BEGI;NS; On June 19 2004, at 2:30 p.m. in the afternoon, myself, my wife Mary, our two grandsons Kyle and Tyler were witness to one of the beautiful and largest weddings ever. Beginning a life together, sharing the future are these
two outstanding people. I’ve been blessed to know this young lady her entire life, she has grown into this beautiful young woman. I have also been blessed by the fact that I was considered for being her God-father. This handsome young man soon to be the husband, what a good-looking couple they made. Their faces lit up with the love and joy for each other. Jason McClellan and Kristin McNulty exchanging wedding vows becoming husband and wife. An outstanding Irish,
Catholic wedding, bagpipes, and all. Jerry and Jacque McNulty, parents of the
bride. Susan McCauley, and the late David McClellan, parents of the groom.
Tears and smiles everywhere, what a joyful way to begin life together.
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My Immediate Family…...125
Mary (Rich) Pilk
I met this young lady in the summer of 1965. I had known her family for years
from going to the same church. However during my younger years I had no
knowledge of Mary’s existence. One summer day I saw her sister outside their
home and I asked her who was the girl sitting on the back steps of their home. She
said it was her older sister Mary, well in my head the wheels started turning. I
walked up to this very attractive young lady and introduced myself. After a while
I asked her if she would like to go for a soda, she quickly declined. A few days
later I went back to their house and when Mary answered the door I asked her
again if she would like to go out. She informed me she was seeing another
gentleman so I left. After several weeks of asking she finally consented. The rest
is history. We dated for three months and just three days before Christmas I asked
her for her hand in marriage and she accepted. This year makes the 40th year we
have been married. Being my wife, the mother of our two children, and my best
friend, I’m so blessed she put up with me all these wonderful years. If God has a
My Immediate Family……126
living angel on earth it has to be Mary. She is the backbone of our family,
everyone is so dependent upon her. If my family has a problem it is that we take
Mary for granted. To be where I am today is because of her love and support, plus
the devotion toward her family. I could only hope that every man has the
opportunity to experience the companionship that Mary and I have shared.
No words can express how I feel about this lady, and I thank our Heavenly
Father above for blessing me by spending my time on earth with Mary. I will
never take her for granted, each minute on earth with her is special.
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Kenneth Ray (Little Joe), Pilk Jr.
What a blessing God granted Mary and I, presenting us with a handsome son.
Born on my birthday, “What a birthday present. He was everything a parent could
want in a son. His pride and joy was his sister. A loving person, always trying to
help others. Having the same name as his father it was only fitting that he be
called Little Joe. He and his sister were always together and he was the greatest at
serving the big brother role. He was very popular and his smile was his noted gift,
people used to comment that he always had a smile on his face. He was very
athletic and sports came easy for him. Like any child he could be
My Immediate Family……127
mischievous, he wasn’t perfect. To Mary and I we were blessed with two perfect
children. His main goal in life was to excel at whatever he did and to see that his
sister was the best she could be. I had the privileged of being his father. However
God called him home on July 20th 1982. He will be forever missed, by his family
and friends.
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Valarie Ann (Pilk) Gossage
The second blessing God presented to Mary and I. A young lady where
words cannot express what she means to us. She is what every parent’s wants in a
daughter. A caring and loving person a lot like her brother in the fact of looking
out for others. At a young age she dedicated herself at working hard to
accomplish the goals she set for herself. Her work ethics are unbelievable, she
seemed to have been blessed of having a strong sense of responsibility. She
always looked forward to accepting challenges, at work, at play, striving to
improve herself. Having tremendous work ethics, leads by example. Strong
family values, her family is so important to her. Once asked what her greatest
accomplishment was she responded her two sons. Great leadership abilities, a take
charge type of person. She is always after Mary and I about taking better care of
our health. I could go on and on but instead I have a LIST OF HER
ACCOMPLISHMENTS ON THE FOLLOWING PAGE.
My Immediate Family……128
Valarie’s Accomplishments
1985-All Area Basketball Team, All Academic Basketball Team, All South
Central Conference Basketball Team, member National Honor Society.
1986-All Area Basketball Team, All Academic Basketball Team, All South
Central Conference Basketball Team, All State Honorable Mention, member
National Honor Society.
1987-All Area Basketball Team, All Academic Basketball Team, All South
Central Conference Basketball Team, All State Second Team, All U.S.A.
Amateur Softball Team, member National Honor Society and made Who’s Who
in America Magazine.
1988-All Conference College Basketball Team, All Tournament Basketball
Team.
1989-All Conference College Basketball Team, All Tournament Basketball
Team, Selected Most Valuable Player of All Tournament Team
2004-Graduated college with a Master Degree, in Master Science
Management, graduated with a 4.0 grade average.
My Immediate Family……129
Hugh Scott Gossage
This young man is a valuable member of our family. Scott is my
Son-in-law, set the example of how a young man should grow up to be. He is one
of the most respectful people you would want to be around. A no excuse type of
person, a good listener, able to calm any situation. He is a good match for our
daughter. Scott is a hard worker and a devoted family man. He and Valarie plan
most of their activities to include their sons. He set goals for himself and then a
plan of action to achieve those goals. He is very concerned about his physical
appearance and is always working at ways to stay in shape. A very athletic
individual, a avid hunter, also the family rides bicycle’s together. Scott and his
family all hold black belts in Karate. A good role model as a father, and as a
husband. His family is his life and he upholds the true family values. Scott treats
Mary and I as if he were our son. Scott is the son of Hugh and Louise Gossage of
Trafaguar Indiana. They have raised Scott to be a outstanding young man, Mary
and I are extremely proud of him.
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Kyle Randall Gossage
The oldest of our two grandchildren. Kyle is 13 years old and a real charmer.
He is the splitting image of his father. He loves sports and is a good student. Kyle
is a real competitor. He went to the Shelbyville Boys Club and immediately
My Immediate Family……130
showed interest in a demonstration being put on by the Shelby County Karate
Club and its Master Ken Jacobs. After taking the offered course the Karate Club
extended to the Boys Club and visiting the Karate Club itself. Master Jacobs
noticed Kyle concentration skills were outstanding at such an early age, he
offered to let Kyle join. Kyle has been in Karate now going on eight years and
holds the rank of 2nd degree black belt. Kyle has great self-control and doesn’t get
upset easily. Kyle is now working at another sport, basketball and is a very good
player. He is constantly working at perfecting his skills and with his
determination the sky’s the limit. Kyle is presently in the 7th grade and is a very
good student. This is a young man who if he wanted to could do anything I
believe that he set his mind to, he will eventually start setting his goals and I’m
sure will reach them. Kyle has won an amazing 90% of his bouts in his 8 years in
Karate. He has also won two State Championships and placed 4th in National
Competition. Mary and I love this young man and are blessed that he is our
grandson.
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Christopher Tyler Gossage
The youngest grandchild, Tyler is 10 years old and is the splitting image of his
mother. He can steal your heart, this young man could become quite an artist. He
holds a black belt and he looks up to big brother, however they are fierce
My Immediate Family……131
competitors. He also likes basketball and he works hard at perfecting his skills.
He is very athletic, but his determination is a key factor at wanting to be
successful. Tyler loves to save his money and this is another good trait. He and
his brother are quite different when it comes to self-control. Tyler has to work
hard at not getting upset, he has a short fuse. But like his brother he is a very
loving and giving person. The future is unlimited for Tyler, and I hope that he and
his brother keep pushing each other to excel at whatever they choose. This young
man has the potential of being an exceptional adult because of his ability to think
things through. Again Mary and I are blessed that Tyler is our grandson.
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John William Rich 111
John is my nephew, and he has been an important part of our family since his
birth. We had the privilege of raising John. When he turned six years of age his
mother and father wanted him back so that he could go to school in the area where
they lived. When John started school he did well, he even had his Principle call
and ask us to attend a play at the school. When John lost his Principle school no
longer mattered. That along with the falling out he had with his family. Once John
turned 18 he called Mary and I and asked if he could come back and live with us.
However we told John that if he came down he had to study for his G.E.D. John
has natural talent enough to become a professional artist someday if he so
My Immediate Family……132
chooses. My family has worked very hard at guiding John so that he could
someday have a bright future. John has a problem and that is he is easily
persuaded into making wrong decisions that are not in his best interest. He has
recently moved out to begin life on his own and of course if he needs assistance
we’ll be there for him. But for John to be successful in life he has to learn to think
things through and then make the right choices, hopefully he will learn as he goes
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Karen Kay (Pilk) Griffith
This lady is my twin sister, we were born three minutes apart. She has a lot to
do with my being able to cope with my handicap and the difficult situations while
I was growing up. Karen has always been there for me, many times when we were
younger it was her responsibility looking out for me. She always encouraged me
to try harder at the things I tried to accomplish. During my childhood she was
always by my side especially at the lowest point in my life, when I wanted to give
up. I am blessed that she is my sister. Here in the later part of our lives, she is
somewhat in bad health. Now it’s my turn to try and convince her to try harder at
getting her to work at getting her health back. I know how lucky I am that Karen
is there for me and I hope that she will always realize that big brother really cares.
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Positive People In My Life……133
SURROUND YOURSELF WITH WINNERS
Larry Dust
Meeting this man was one of the best things that could have happened to me.
Larry is one of the most sincere, honest, down to earth individuals that I have ever
been around. A dynamic person who strives each day to improve his well being.
A true friend who is always there for you. Just by being himself is impressive
enough. I met Larry the day I hired into his Company, his Vice President Wally
Gray who I worked for and had previously worked for at another Company
introduced us. Larry a very caring person who has a genuine interest in everyone
who works for his Company. Larry is a man of the highest integrity who lives by
the rule my mother taught me: TREAT EVERYONE AS YOU WANT TO BE
TREATED. One of the hardest working people I have ever met. As each day goes
by you will find him working to see his Company’s growth, he’s constantly
working to improve service to his customers and hiring people who will represent
the correct image for his Company. He has been there for me, and I will always be
there for him. Just remembering him taking time out, to visit me during my
hospital stay, makes me realize how important life itself is. A family oriented
person, and his family set the example of true family values. I am deeply grateful
that I have been blessed by knowing this family, and being a part of their lives. I
plan to retire from Key Benefits, working with such wonderful people.
Positive People In My Life……134
Dr. James Strickland
A true professional at his trade and a wonderful person. I cannot put into words
what this young man has done to enrich my life. Being blessed at performing his
trade not only for me but the many thousands of people during his life. When the
good Lord choose him to do his work, on the correction of a person’s hands, he
definitely picked the right person. I am truly fortunate that Dr. Strickland was the
man who performed the operation on the correction of my crippled hand. But he
did more than that he convinced me that through hard work at rehabilitation I
could someday be able to use my right hand to function to normal standards. Hard
work and several years later I now have 85% use. I strongly urge parents to take
their children at an early age to be examined, but be sure to have them looked at
by doctors skilled in the area of the handicapped child. Doctor I thank you for not
only what you have done to help me turn my life around but also for your
personal friendship, you are definitely a special person in my life.
Positive People In My Life……135
Anne E. Inman
A Vice-President who works for Key Benefits Administration. Anne is one of
the nicest people anyone could ever meet. She is a devoted family person and is
always there for you. I could not have completed this book if it wasn’t for her
help and encouragement. Her guidance and direction only goes to show the true
friend she is, and the professional and dedication she gives to her job each and
every day. Anne and I take the time each day to say hello, and if we have an extra
moment will discuss our families. We have a lot in common when it comes to
family values and I will always cherish her friendship.
Positive People In My Life……136
Dee Compton
This man was one of the first people to make an impression on me when I was
a young man. He is a former High School coach and teacher not only at
Shelbyville High but several other High Schools. He is currently in charge of the
Indiana High School Hall of Fame. A true gentleman who lives by what he
teaches. When in high school he was the only adult who stepped forward and
believed in me when no one else would other than my own family. We became
friends while I was taking the drivers education course under his direction. As the
months continued to move by through his direction and guidance my life began to
improve. He encouraged me to work hard, overlook doubters, and move forward
with my life in a positive manner. He is a hero to many people and you can bet he
is one of my hero’s. I consider Dee to be the ultimate coach and teacher. Because
of this man, his teachings, and the way he lives life itself, setting the example the
world is a better place. I know the city of Shelbyville, the surrounding
communities and everywhere he has been are blessed by the fact that he touched
so many lives.
Positive People In My Life……137
William (Bill) Barnard
Having this man as a friend is so special. Every time we get together we have
so much to catch up on. A Certified Public Accountant by trade however his
greatest gift is that of a teacher and that of a friend. Bill is an outstanding softball
coach, who was quite an athlete himself at Waldron Indiana. A quiet mannered
person, who teaches fundamentals, sportsmanship, and the correct way to play all
positions on the softball field. But the main thing he teaches to enjoy life itself
and live life to it’s fullest. He teaches giving back to others, rather than being on
the receiving end. Teaching to appreciate everyone whom you come in contact
with in your life. Bill taught me how to mellow out instead of being tensed up all
the time. Learning the true meaning of friendship and giving your fellow man the
benefit of the doubt. He taught to show compassion to your fellow man. Bill is
more like a brother than a friend and he and his family were there for us during
the loss of our son. Bill I am blessed that you are a part of my life.
Positive People In My Life……138
Marvin Robinette
Marvin has had a direct impact on my life. He is such a positive person, the
ultimate family man. This man loves his fellow man so much he has never met a
stranger. Probably the best motivator I have ever been associated with. I wrote a
manual one time on how to build a championship softball team and he took a
copy then with a team of 10 to 12 year olds won the State ASA Softball
Championships. Marvin can stand for hours and talk about the accomplishments
of young people and tears of joy would be streaming down his face. Marvin never
say a bad thing about anyone and he has touched a lot of lives over the years. And
everyone of those people would be there for him if needed. There is so much good
about this man and words can’t begin to explain my friendship for him. He and
his family were there in support of my family during the loss of our son. Thanks
buddy for being in my life.
Positive People In My Life……139
Mike Graves
To describe Mike just say the best of the best. This is Mr. Quick Wit himself,
another family oriented person, in fact almost every friend fall into this area.
When my family was at a low point in our lives, Mike not only sent his prayers,
he knowing my son personally he obtained a statue likeness of Little Joe uniform
number and all and personally delivered it to me in 1982, and I still have it today
displayed on a shelf in our house. Mike and I have spent many hours working,
coaching, and many after hours of friendship together. Our friendship continues to
grow each passing year. We have so much in common, and are families are so
much alike. Mike you are a better all-around basketball player than I am, but you
know I’m the better shooter. Just remembering the many hours at the bowling
alleys with our friends is a lifetime of memories. And last but not least I am
extremely proud of the poem, so proud that it is a part of this book. Yes a lifetime
of memories.
Positive People In My Life……140
L. Ben Lytle
Through out my life I have been blessed to have the good fortune of being
surrounded by people who have had a direct impact on my life. This young man
stands near the top. I first met Ben when he was a Director with the Company that
I retired from the year was 1976. I was immediately impressed with the way he
handled himself. He was very well dressed, very soft-spoken, respectful. He just
had the appearance of someone who was headed for success. Also his attitude,
and his positive manner left little doubt that Ben was going places. Reflecting
back on that meeting, and now all these years later we are still good friends. I was
always grateful and uplifted whenever I ran into Ben. He was a born leader and he
proved it, staying with the Company and retiring as I did. During his stay he went
from Director, to Vice President, to President, and finally C.E.O. Ben proved
setting goals for yourself and achieving them are possible. He now is now setting
more goals and no doubt achieving them. My respect for him is such that when I
would encounter him when he was among other Business Leaders I referred to
him as Mr. Lytle. Then when I would see him again by himself I referred to him
as Ben. I have afforded this type respect to other people such as Larry Dust, Jerry
McNulty. Ben is a dedicated family man and I am extremely proud that he counts
me as his friend.
Positive People In My Life……141
Richard Wallace
This man has been an important part of my life. He is the one that got my
career started with the Company. Richard hired me in 1966. I personally worked
for Richard at two different companies. After retiring he again hired me to work
for him at Key Benefit Administrators. You could say I have spent a good portion
of my life around him. We were friends at work and also good friends in our
personal lives. Because he gave me a chance to prove myself I am where I am
today. We were more like brothers, and I hold his friendship in the highest of
regard. We still get together to catch up on what’s happening in each of our lives.
We discuss many issues because we have a genuine interest and concern for each
other. Anyone who knows Richard knows just how lucky they are to be his friend,
Richard I cannot find the words to say “thanks” for everything.
Positive People In My Life……142
Jerry MCNulty
I met this young man when he was still in High School attending Cathedral,
and he was working part time in the Parking Garage of the Company I retired
from, he was 17 years old. I worked at the Insurance Company with Jerry’s father
Leo, he was a manager in the Facilities Department. From the moment we met we
became good friends and this friendship has lasted a lifetime. How time quickly
passes by, not to long ago my wife and I along with our grandsons attended the
wedding of Jerry’s daughter. Our two families are close, Mary and I get together
with Jerry and his wife Jacque and we have some great times together. Jerry while
working at the Insurance Company progressed well. He worked hard and made
Vice President. Even though there is a big age difference between us I still seek
his advice when I am searching for answers. Jerry and I still meet with Bernie and
the crew for lunches. I have become a better person because of Jerry’s guidance
and direction. One of the better points about Jerry is the fact he’ll tell you like it
is, even if it is not what you want to hear. Jerry thanks for being a part of my life.
Positive People In My Life……143
Bernard M. Lenihan
What a good friend, and a wonderful person. Bernie a no-nonsense type guy.
Bernie will tell you like it is and will not waste words in doing so. Bernie is the
man that started all these lunch-meetings years ago. Bernie is a very intelligent
person. He can read a person and most of the time he is right on. He measures a
person by the way they talk and the way they live and work. I wouldn’t want to be
someone trying to pull a fast one on him because they would end up on the short
end. I respect and admire Bernie, he a true friend and a gentleman. After all these
years I appreciate Bernie always being there for me. I count his friendship a
blessing and hope that he knows I really take the things he tells me to heart.
Positive People In My Life……144
Roger Gregg
I met this young man several years ago when he was just out of High School out
of Elwood Indiana. He was rather quiet and shy and showed me a lot of respect.
After all these years we still remain friends and the friendship has grown. Roger
and I had a mutual friend (Shorty Price). The thing about Shorty was the fact he
only stood, not quite 5 feet tall but his outlook on life and his stature alone made
him to be a lot larger man. Roger and I so respected this man. Roger is a real
competitor, if you intend on challenging him at basketball you had better pack a
lunch. One such incident occurred between the two of us in a game of H-O-R-S-E
it took 19 continuous shots in a row, just to get one letter on the other one. If you
were to sum up the total victories of who won the most between us, I’m sure it
would still be dead even. Roger and I both just recently suffered losses in our
families, Roger lost his father, and I lost my mother. I’m extremely proud of our
friendship.
Positive People In My Life……145
David Delp
I met David for the first time when he was accompanying his father Jerry to
lunch one day. Jerry and I had worked for the Insurance Company for years and
he was an Executive Vice-President. To my surprise he also was the cousin of
another employee Roger Gregg. Right away I knew David and I were destine to
become good friends. He reminded me of myself when I was younger. He became
the Receiving Clerk for the warehouse but I knew that was just the starting point
because I knew he would move up in the Company. We worked together, had
lunch together, even went fishing together. These days I see him occasionally, but
I miss him a great deal. He is like a member of my family and I am glad that he is
a part of my life.
Positive People In My Life……146
Don Whetro
I met this man when we both were starting to wind up our careers and start the
slow decline to retirement. This guy is a solid dependable friend and we have
shared many a good times working together. Don will tell you the way it is
weather you want to hear it or not. He was working for another department then
joined the warehouse team. We both agree we worked for the most professional
warehouse manger the Company has ever hired. However the changing times and
events led to his leaving the warehouse and we had to move on. Later Don
became warehouse group leader and did a wonderful job. As time went by we
both realized that the direction of the Company was not headed the way we
believed and it was time to leave. As the old saying goes, “out with the old” and
“in with the new”. Don and I meet occasionally for lunch and to get caught up on
our families. We both have tremendous respect for each other and Don is a good
listener. I consider him to be a great friend and know that if I need sound advice I
will get it from him.
Positive People In My Life……147
David Yates
I met David when he first hired into the Company. I had worked with and
around his brother Brian for years. David transferred to the warehouse to become
inventory clerk. Later he applied for and became warehouse Manager. We have a
lot in common, both family oriented. David was in charge of both the day shift
and the night shift of which I was a member. We would meet and talk about our
families. David is a musician and has his own band. They play music all over the
country. It was a pleasure working for and along side this young man. We both
take considerable pride in our friendship.
Positive People In My Life……148
Marco Tabada
Meeting this young man was simple because I was to be his replacement. He
was taking a job at another Company. He left then returned to Key Benefit
Administration to work in the Facilities Area. Now six years have passed by very
quickly and our friendship continues to grow. A very nice, respectful, courteous,
pleasant young man. He came to Indianapolis via the Philippines after completing
his duties in the Armed Services. He knows and speaks our language fluently. He
is the father of two wonderful sons here in Indianapolis and has a son in school in
the Philippines. He is currently Manager of the Maintenance area and is doing
well. He has a great personality and is a tremendous person. He is a very
responsible and I am fortunate to be one of his friends.
Positive People In My Life……149
Robbie Bacon
Taking a break I happened to notice this man sitting alone, he was reading an
article in the newspaper. I walked up and introduced myself and ask politely if I
could join him. After introducing ourselves we had a great time discussing several
topics. After that you can always find us taking our breaks together. Robbie has
become one of my best friends. He is a very wonderful, dedicated family man.
His soft-spoken ways make you feel at ease. He and I often ask the folks coming
into the break area if they would like to join our club called, “Group Therapy”.
We have no idea why people decline, they must have been warned to stay clear of
those two. Robbie works hard and is a dedicated employee. Our friendship
continues to grow and I am blessed that we respect and count on each other.
Robbie lives life to it’s fullest and his family values are the top of the scale. He
continues to work with me pushing me to be a better at the improvements I want
to make in myself.
Positive People In My Life……150
Craig Williams
Many years back I met this young man who took the Insurance Company from
where I retired by storm. Right away you could see the self-confidence he
possessed. We were so much alike but at the same time so different. He dressed
the part you could tell his future was going to be a bright one. He dressed the part
of an Executive, I dressed the part of a warehouseman. But we were so alike in all
other area’s. Once you are his friend it’s forever. Craig is such a good guy I would
adopt him if possible. A former Golf Pro. He even gave me lessons using only
one arm. Guess what? I had better stick with basketball. Craig and I get together
whenever possible, but I’m very proud to count him as one of the people in life
that means so much to me.
Positive People In My Life……151
Robert Durkalaski
I met Bob when I was working at the Insurance Company. He was the Manager
over the Purchasing and Warehouse area. We were immediate friends, he was a
big fan of the Kentucky Wildcats, I a big fan of the Indiana Hoosiers. We became
close and spent a lot of valuable time together. He was the “one” individual that
kept telling me that I should go forth in the world and better myself. It’s
unbelievable the effect this man has had on my life. Because of his constantly
reminding me that I could accomplish more in life is exactly what I did. I seldom
see Bob anymore and I have no real explanation for this. I know his family and
his job are the most important things in his life, as it should be. I truly miss being
around Bob and I hope that he reads this and will realize that I will always be
grateful not only for his friendship, but also for making me realize the potential I
have. Thanks again for being there for me.
Positive People In My Life……152
Dr. J. Robert Coughenour
This is the doctor of all doctors. And believe me I have seen a tremendous
amount of them. This physician I was lucky to acquire because my former
physician had so many patients, some of us had to accept a new one. This was a
blessing. My former doctor was great but he was overworked. I felt at ease with
this man and right away I could see he had a genuine interest in my well being.
He was not there just to give treatment but took the time to ask about you. After
listening carefully, he then talked and then came up with the correct treatment or
medication. Every time I see him he is telling me what part of my body I need to
work on. My health has improved 50% since he has been my doctor. I am in the
best health of my life and I am truly grateful Dr. Coughenour is my doctor, my
friend and that he is a part of my life.
Thank You……153
I want to take a few moments to thank just some of the people who took the
time over the years to write to me. To let the readers read what they have written
and to say a special thank you.
Rules To Live By……158
Rules To Live By
1. Don’t give up, it takes practice and hard work.
2. Don’t give in to your handicap, be the best you can be.
3. Turn your disability, into ability, any improvement is an asset.
4. You can do anything in life if you want it bad enough.
5. Have the courage to ask that special person to “Coach” you.
6. Life is full of setbacks, keep working, for hard work gives results.
7. Keep focused on where you want to go, do not look back at where you’ve
been.
8. When you help someone it comes back to you as a blessing.
9. Learn patience, or the world will keep you waiting.
10. You’re belief in your faith, and your family are the most important things in
your life.
11. Be other-centered not self-centered which is easy to do if you are handicap.
12. Honesty, your word is extremely important in life.
13. Respect is something you earn and give in return.
14. Always be thankful and grateful through out your life.
15. Focus always on your abilities, hard work will overcome your disabilities.
16. Remember God has a plan for you.
17. TREAT EVERYONE IN LIFE, AS YOU WANT TO BE TREATED.
Summary……159
Summarization Of Life
I look back at my life and I know I am blessed for being me. Being raised by
two people, completely different from each other and I will define that later. Most
Cerebral Palsy patients have a history of major health problems, associated with:
(A) Severe brain damage, preventing the ability to improve ones health.
(B) Damage to the brain that controls the motor nerve functions, preventing the
use of ones arm or leg or both.
I was blessed to have parents who loved me enough to put the burden upon
themselves, raising me at home. They pushed me to work hard so that I would be
able to function on my own. They did this against the advice of doctors who
suggested I be placed in an institution for the physically and mentally impaired.
Their love and devotion was what made me the person I am today. Pushing me to
the limit but realizing that their love had to be second, when teaching someone
with limited abilities to reach full potential. Teaching only accept help if you
yourself cannot complete your goal. What looked like unfair treatment in the
beginning; now is paying off and showing the true love they had for me. Having a
twin is great for anyone, but having one like my sister was without a doubt a
blessing. Someone was looking out for me, even though I didn’t understand at the
time why we had to be different, I now understand. During the early years in life
Summary……160
She was the one who helped me with my school problems, the one who protected
me in and away from school. Her encouragement always boosted me to try and
complete the things I set out to do. Also I learned a lot from watching her
complete the things I had trouble with.
My mother is my Rock, my Solid Foundation. She’s the one---who took the
time to explain that one day I’d be on my own and would have to fend for myself.
She’s the one---who was there 24-7 always doctoring and covering up for all the
troubles I caused. She’s the one---who bragged about my accomplishments when
the parents of normal children were bragging about their kids. My mother set the
example by taking care of her health, after retirement she took longs walks with
her friend Mary Phipps, and worked a lot of hours around the house and in her
garden. This year I lost my mother who has been in failing health the last two
years. She was 87 years of age and I remember as clear as ever, even up to her last
days her asking about Karen’s and my health, never once thinking of herself. But
that was the wonderful woman she was. I remember visiting her on her last day on
earth and asking her, “Mother would it be alright if I kissed your feet, because I
have never kissed the feet of an angel “? Then I gently kissed her feet. Later that
day I received a call from my sister and by the time I got there mother had gone to
be with the Lord.
My dad was my Hero, he push so hard I often thought he hated me and was
Summary……161
ashamed of me. I was the complete opposite of him, and I was jealous of the fact
he looked exactly the way I wanted to look. How proud he would be of me today
for I have worked so hard to develop my body to be in his likeness. If you were to
put our pictures side by side today you couldn’t tell as apart. Dad taught me many
things that even were difficult for him to accomplish. I remember how he use to
tape his hand up to be like mine, learn a task then teach me to complete it. Things
like, tying shoes, lifting thing, simple things for normal people but difficult to the
impaired. Teaching me how to have self-confidence when others knew I was
going to fail. He made me look into a mirror, which I hated because of what I
saw. What he saw was something totally different. He never let me give up. His
relentless efforts produced the results you see before you today. He constantly
refused to let me accompany him at things like hunting (his favorite past time).
He would pick someone else in the family to go with him and at that time I
thought that he was ashamed of me or that he felt I couldn’t handle the situation. I
now know the reason was he wasn’t able to show weakness or pity in the fact that
he knew I couldn’t handle a firearm. Weakness and pity wasn’t a part of my dad’s
make-up. The night the doctors told dad that he had a year or less to live, he took
me aside and finally told me how proud he was that I was his son. He said only
the doctor, himself and I knew of the amount of time he had left on this earth. He
said that I had to be strong and hold the family together when his time was up.
Summary……162
That was the toughness my dad taught me. My whole life has been a wonderful
experience, tough times, self-pity times, and the times I received so many
blessings. Such as wonderful parents, great sister, beautiful wife, outstanding
children. The greatest son-in-law, and to me the worlds greatest grandchildren.
Also I have been blessed surrounded by people who are made up of winners. I can
say that those who work and excel are the ones most likely to succeed and reach
their goals. This makes up a winner but you must always remain humble. These
are the people I surround myself with. I do have people in my life however who
are weak, I don’t use the word loser, because everyone has potential. The people I
want to help are, lacking self-confidence, have low self-esteem. If I can help one
child, one adult, in my life then I have reached a goal, however if I can help more
then that, it makes it an additional bonus. I’ve been bless to have reach some of
my goals already while working,
Three Distinguish Ratings,
Eleven Perfect Attendance,
Twice Employee Of The Month,
Employee Of The Year.
My personal life I was very fortunate to have received the following.
Coaches Award A.S.A. Softball,
J. C. I. Senatorship, Lifetime Award , (United States Jaycees).
Summary……163
Outstanding Basketball Accomplishments.
Improving right side from start of 5% use, to an unbelievable 85% use. Physically
I am what I strive to be because of those around me. I work extra hard mostly on
my weak points. I don’t believe in the word can’t. Through hard work I’ve
reached the maximum use of my right side and I want to help and encourage
others to do the same. My job each day is to be polite, smile and be respectful of
everyone. Someone having a bad day can pick-up on my attitude and just maybe
change his or her outlook. I try to set the example for those around me and I live
by what my mother taught and that was, Treat people as you want to be treated.
I once weighted 143lbs, standing 6’2” tall a real skinny fellow. I now weigh
230lbs and need to trim down to around 185lbs, my next goal. I want people to
read this story and help educate themselves on what it takes to improve a C. P.
condition. C.P. has no cure and it doesn’t go away. I still with all my
improvement have cramping and stiffness in my fingers. I suffer from pain in my
leg. The experts say your C.P. never gets worse, I totally disagree. I continue to
fight problems with my arm and hand losing their agility, to do things that I have
work to overcome. And this usually comes about if I fail to keep up my exercise
program. It would be similar to a person building up muscle then not exercising
and it turning to fat tissue. It is important for parents to understand that children
can be helped therefore it important to take the child to a specialist. They can
Summary……164
evaluate the child’s ability and operate and provide ways of improvement. Listen
to your child, they and only they know how they feel and believe me they want to
see the changes that are necessary for them to live a normal life and do the things
that make them happy. My dad listened to me and found out that my interest was
basketball and because he listened my life and health started improving. Attitude
is key to anyone improving and being successful. Your child may be self-
conscious, may lack self-confidence and maybe a little on the lazy side, (boy does
this sound familiar), give them the push needed in the right direction. Remember
they are waiting on someone to lead them and that person is most likely you. I
highly recommend Dynamic Tension exercises, not only will you see vast
improvement but you will also learn the concept of this program. I know that once
you get them believing in themselves the sky is the limit as to what they can
achieve. I truly believe I am special, and God has a plan for me, and I am glad
that I’m different. It’s all right for people to look even stare at me for I am proud.
For everything they see I have worked to achieve. My goal from writing and
talking to everyone is that maybe I can at least help one, or as many as I can.
Knowing you must believe in oneself, work hard and you to can turn your whole
world around. I love to motivate people and see the results from my efforts.
Remember I went from C. P And Me-----To Just Me.
Quick Reference……165
READ THE YEARS ASSIGNED TO LESSONS TO LIVE BY:
1. Don’t give up, it takes practice and hard work. 1938, 1944,1950,1953,
1954,1955, 1966,1970, 1975,1978,1980,1983, 1987.
2. Don’t give in to your handicap, be the best you can be.
1950,1953,1960,1964,1983, 2004.
3. Turn your disability into ability, any improvement is an asset. 1952, 1953,
1960,1962, 1965, 1985, 2001, 2004.
4. You can do anything in life if you want it bad enough. 1944,1945,1947,
1954, 1955, 1965, 1970, 1972, 1975, 1983, 1987, 1995, 2004.
5. Have the courage to ask that special person to “Coach” you.
1946,1959,1980,2003,2004.
6. Life is full of setbacks, keep working, for hard work gives results.1941,
1942, 1943, 1947, 1969,1971,1981,1982, 1987, 1999, 2003, 2004.
7. Keep focused on where you want to go, do not look back at where you’ve
been. 1944, 1945, 1949, 1953, 1957, 1965, 1970, 1980, 1983, 1988, 1995,
2004.
8. When you help someone it comes back to you as a blessing. 1938, 1961,
1966, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1979, 1985, 1988, 1991 1993.
9. Learn patience, or the world will keep you waiting. 1947, 1957, 1963,
1977, 1979, 1980, 1983.
Quick Reference……166
10. Your belief in God, and your family are the most important things in
your life. The Complete Story
11. Be other-centered not self-centered which is easy to do if you are
handicap. 1959, 1960, 1961, 1967, 1972, 1984, 1988.
12. Honesty, your word is extremely important in life. The Complete Story.
13. Respect is something you earn and give in return. 1954, 1955, 1957, 1959,
1960, 1961, 1966, 1967, 1972, 1981, 1984, 2004.
14. Always be thankful and grateful through out your life. 1941, 1946, 1949,
1952, 1953, 1960, 1965, 1970, 1977, 1981, 1983, 1990, 1995.
15. Focus always on your abilities, hard work will overcome your disabilities.
1944, 1945, 1948, 1950, 1954, 1955, 1961, 1963, 1967, 1970, 1978, 1983,
1986.
16. God has a plan for you. 1941, 1944, 1955,1960, 1961, 1964, 1965, 1966,
1977, 1983, 1990, 1995, 2004.
17. Treat everyone in life, as you wan to be treated. 1955, 1957, 1959, 1960,
1961, 1963, 1967, 1971, 1972, 1984, 1988, 1996, 2004.