Post on 03-Nov-2014
description
Conflict Management
By: Ohireime Ojeomogha [OJ] and Jessica England
Conflict ExerciseConflict Exercise Split into groups of five people.Split into groups of five people. Spend three minutes trying to resolve Spend three minutes trying to resolve
the conflict.the conflict. Each group member should choose a Each group member should choose a
personality response/role.personality response/role. [person named in scenario, conflict resolution [person named in scenario, conflict resolution
manager, confrontational and opinionated, manager, confrontational and opinionated, complainer, non-responder, disagree with everything, complainer, non-responder, disagree with everything, etc]etc]
Conflict ExerciseConflict Exercise Scenario 1: Company AXY – dating Scenario 1: Company AXY – dating
relationship.relationship.
Scenario 2: Personal coach – hostile Scenario 2: Personal coach – hostile environment.environment.
Scenario 3: Diversity training gone Scenario 3: Diversity training gone wrong.wrong.
ConflictConflict Conflict is neither a necessary evil nor Conflict is neither a necessary evil nor
a signal of defeat. It is simply a reality. a signal of defeat. It is simply a reality. Wherever there are people there is Wherever there are people there is conflict. The real issue is not to avoid conflict. The real issue is not to avoid it, but learn how to manage it.it, but learn how to manage it.
Conflict: When two or more people Conflict: When two or more people attempt to occupy the same space at attempt to occupy the same space at the same time: physically, emotionally, the same time: physically, emotionally, or intellectually. or intellectually.
Initial ReactionInitial Reaction
Fight Freeze Fight Freeze Flight Flight
Understanding OptionsUnderstanding Options
∙∙ ∙∙ ∙∙∙∙ ∙∙ ∙∙∙∙ ∙∙ ∙∙
Connect all the dots without lifting your Connect all the dots without lifting your pen.pen.
∙∙ ∙∙ ∙∙∙∙ ∙∙ ∙∙∙∙ ∙∙ ∙∙
One option includes going outside of the One option includes going outside of the box.box.
What do you see?What do you see?
Two faces or a vase?Two faces or a vase?
Water cannot flow up hill…Water cannot flow up hill…
Young woman or old lady?Young woman or old lady?Creepy clown face or Creepy clown face or ladies in an arch way?ladies in an arch way?
workbenchworkbench
personperson on on cliff ready to cliff ready to
jumpjumptreetree
Resource & Resource & OpportunitOpportunityy
DangerDanger
Opportunity & DangerOpportunity & Danger Conflicts arise over facts, methods, Conflicts arise over facts, methods,
values, and goals.values, and goals. If you choose resentment: it’s like If you choose resentment: it’s like
drinking poison and hoping the other drinking poison and hoping the other person dies.person dies.
How we How we CHOOSECHOOSE to to Respond to ConflictRespond to Conflict
AvoidanceAvoidanceAccommodatiAccommodati
ononCompetitionCompetitionCompromiseCompromiseCollaborationCollaboration
Thomas Kilman Conflict Resolution GridThomas Kilman Conflict Resolution Grid
Value of Relationship
Importance Placed on Mercy
Response to Other’s Interest
Val
ue o
f Iss
ue
Nee
d fo
r Jus
tice
Ach
ieve
men
t of O
wn
Inte
rest
AvoidAvoid AccommodateAccommodate
CompromiseCompromise
CompeteCompete CollaborateCollaborate
AvoidAvoidI don’t care for the issue
and honestly I don’t really care about the
relationship.
Value of Relationship
Importance Placed on Mercy
Response to Other’s Interest
Val
ue o
f Iss
ue
Nee
d fo
r Jus
tice
Ach
ieve
men
t of O
wn
Inte
rest
AvoidAvoid
AccommodateAccommodate
Value of Relationship
Importance Placed on Mercy
Response to Other’s Interest
Val
ue o
f Iss
ue
Nee
d fo
r Jus
tice
Ach
ieve
men
t of O
wn
Inte
rest
Preserve the relationship at ALL
costs.
AccommodateAccommodate
CompeteCompete
Value of Relationship
Importance Placed on Mercy
Response to Other’s Interest
Val
ue o
f Iss
ue
Nee
d fo
r Jus
tice
Ach
ieve
men
t of O
wn
Inte
rest
CompeteCompete Win / lose situation:
How do I get MY way?
CompromiseCompromise
Value of Relationship
Importance Placed on Mercy
Response to Other’s Interest
Val
ue o
f Iss
ue
Nee
d fo
r Jus
tice
Ach
ieve
men
t of O
wn
Inte
rest
CompromiseCompromise
Tolerance is key!
CollaborateCollaborate
Value of Relationship
Importance Placed on Mercy
Response to Other’s Interest
Val
ue o
f Iss
ue
Nee
d fo
r Jus
tice
Ach
ieve
men
t of O
wn
Inte
rest
CollaborateCollaborate Seek to preserve both
the relationship
and the value of the issue at
hand.
*this requires skill in
managing conflict.
**not all issues are worth
going “to the mat.”
Conflict Engagement StylesConflict Engagement Styles TankTank: confrontational, pointed, angry, ultimately : confrontational, pointed, angry, ultimately
pushy and aggressive behavior towards otherspushy and aggressive behavior towards others SniperSniper: employs the use of rude comments, biting : employs the use of rude comments, biting
sarcasm or well timed eye roll, and in the end makes sarcasm or well timed eye roll, and in the end makes you look foolishyou look foolish
GrenadeGrenade: brief calm, explodes into unfocused ranting : brief calm, explodes into unfocused ranting and raving with things typically unrelated to the and raving with things typically unrelated to the present work circumstancespresent work circumstances
Know-it-allKnow-it-all: seldom in doubt; low tolerance when : seldom in doubt; low tolerance when corrected or contradicted and blames others when corrected or contradicted and blames others when things go wrongthings go wrong
Think-they-know-it-allThink-they-know-it-all: primarily seeking the : primarily seeking the attention of others and unlike the know it all cannot attention of others and unlike the know it all cannot fool people all the timefool people all the time
Conflict Engagement Styles Conflict Engagement Styles ContCont
Yes PersonYes Person: avoids confrontation, typically over : avoids confrontation, typically over commits to work task and can’t accomplish it all commits to work task and can’t accomplish it all because of time constraintsbecause of time constraints
Maybe PersonMaybe Person: procrastinates and waits in the : procrastinates and waits in the hopes of getting a better choice, but in the end hopes of getting a better choice, but in the end decision makes itselfdecision makes itself
Nothing PersonNothing Person: worse than the maybe person : worse than the maybe person he/she gives no feedbackhe/she gives no feedback
No PersonNo Person: mild mannered…fights a never ending : mild mannered…fights a never ending battle for futility, hopelessness and despairbattle for futility, hopelessness and despair
WhinerWhiner: complains about everything…seem : complains about everything…seem helpless, overwhelmed and not measuring up to helpless, overwhelmed and not measuring up to their standards of perfectiontheir standards of perfection
Lens of UnderstandingLens of UnderstandingThe Dr.’s RickThe Dr.’s Rick
Understanding helps you communicate Understanding helps you communicate effectively, prevent future conflict, and effectively, prevent future conflict, and resolve current conflicts.resolve current conflicts.
Look for the motive behind the behavior.Look for the motive behind the behavior.
Assertiveness Assertiveness & Focus& Focus
Normal ZoneNormal Zone
People FocusPeople Focus
Task FocusTask Focus
AggressiveAggressivePassivePassive
MotivesMotives
Normal ZoneNormal Zone
Get It Right Get It Done
Get AppreciatedGet Along
People FocusPeople Focus
Task FocusTask Focus
AggressiveAggressivePassivePassive
Normal ZoneNormal Zone
Get It Right Get It Done
Get AppreciatedGet Along
People FocusPeople Focus
Task FocusTask Focus
AggressiveAggressivePassivePassive
ControllingControlling
Attention Attention GettingGetting
ApprovalApprovalSeekingSeeking
PerfectionistPerfectionist
Gray ZoneGray Zone
BehaviorsBehaviors
BehaviorsBehaviors
NormalNormal ZoneZone
Get It Right Get It Done
Get AppreciatedGet Along
People FocusPeople Focus
Task FocusTask Focus
AggressiveAggressivePassivePassive
ControllingControlling
AttentionAttention GettingGetting
ApprovalApprovalSeekingSeeking
PerfectionistPerfectionist
Gray ZoneGray Zone
BehaviorsBehaviors
TANKTANKSNIPERSNIPER
KNOW-KNOW-IT-ALLIT-ALL
GRENADEGRENADE
SNIPERSNIPER
THINK-THEY-THINK-THEY-KNOW-IT-ALLKNOW-IT-ALL
MAYBEMAYBEPersonPerson
YESYESPersonPerson
NOTHINGNOTHINGPersonPerson
NOTHINGNOTHINGPersonPerson
NONOPersonPerson
WHINERWHINER
PositionPosition PositionPositionIssueIssue
ConflictConflict
When people differ they When people differ they usually identify an usually identify an issueissue over over which they differ and take a which they differ and take a
positionposition on it. on it.
Choose Your PathChoose Your Path
Position-based Position-based Conflict ManagementConflict Management
One or both sides can walk away, perhaps One or both sides can walk away, perhaps avoidingavoiding the conflict. the conflict.
One or both sides can One or both sides can accommodateaccommodate, , thereby eliminating the conflict.thereby eliminating the conflict.
One or both sides can One or both sides can competecompete, which , which escalates the conflict.escalates the conflict.
One or both sides can One or both sides can compromisecompromise their their position, perhaps tempering the conflict.position, perhaps tempering the conflict.
Both sides can give the dispute to Both sides can give the dispute to someone else for a decision which will someone else for a decision which will decide the matter but which may not decide the matter but which may not resolve the conflict.resolve the conflict.
EscalateEscalate EscalateEscalate
PositionPosition PositionPositionIssueIssue(Conflict)(Conflict)
InterestsInterests InterestsInterests
No SolutionNo SolutionEnd of RelationshipEnd of Relationship
Go Below the LineGo Below the Line The focus of positional-based conflict The focus of positional-based conflict
management is management is the issue / my view on it.the issue / my view on it. In a collaborative, consensual process, the In a collaborative, consensual process, the
key is to bring interests into the key is to bring interests into the discussion… to discussion… to GOGO BELOWBELOW THETHE LINELINE!!
Moving from Moving from positionposition to to interestsinterests gives the gives the freedom to freedom to explore solutionsexplore solutions..
EscalateEscalate EscalateEscalate
PositionPosition PositionPositionIssueIssue(Conflict)(Conflict)
InterestsInterests InterestsInterests
Maintain RelationshipMaintain RelationshipConflict ResolvedConflict Resolved
No SolutionNo SolutionEnd of RelationshipEnd of Relationship
Interest-based Interest-based Conflict ManagementConflict Management
The focus moves from the The focus moves from the issueissue to the to the solution.solution.
Allows potential for:Allows potential for: Developing better, more satisfying Developing better, more satisfying
agreements.agreements. Creating greater commitment to an Creating greater commitment to an
agreement.agreement. Strengthening the parties’ relationships.Strengthening the parties’ relationships. Creating greater organizational Creating greater organizational
effectiveness.effectiveness.
The ShiftThe Shift
ISSUEISSUE
PROBLEMPROBLEM
Action PlanAction Plan Listen to understand: blend, backtrack, Listen to understand: blend, backtrack,
clarify, summarize, confirm.clarify, summarize, confirm. Speak to be understood: tone, intent, tact, Speak to be understood: tone, intent, tact,
truth, ready to listen.truth, ready to listen. Reach a deeper understanding by Reach a deeper understanding by
identifying identifying positive intentpositive intent and and highly highly valued criteriavalued criteria..
P.E.: P.E.: ProjectProject and and expectexpect the the bestbest of others. of others.