Communicating Effectively

The Effective DRE A Skills Development Series

What is Communication? Natural ability Learned behavior A process A responsibility Simultaneous sending and receiving of

messages The response of one human being to the

symbolic behavior of others

Let’s Talk About Language

The Nature of Language

Language is symbolic Language shapes our perception

Language and Context Language can be abstract Never assume that everyone shares

the same meanings Provide your definition of a word when

you want people to use it…and explain it.

Repeat it often Religious language is abstract by

nature, so be aware of that and careful

Language Reflects Attitudes

Pronoun choices Placement of words Directness Duration Time

Language Can Enrich Relationships

“It” “You” “I” “We” “Me” “But”

Let’s Talk About Listening

Why Listening Can Be Difficult

Message overload Preoccupation with personal

concerns Ability to think fast, spare time in

the mind Value talking over listening Not trained to listen

Styles of Listening

One-way or passive listening Two-way or active listening

Guidelines for Effective Listening Choose the proper environment Stop talking Concentrate on the Speaker’s Ideas, Not

Your Own Agenda Do Not Be Overly Critical Listen for Main Points and Supporting

Evidence Share Responsibility for Communication Ask Questions for Clarification Use Active Listening

Let’s Talk About Nonverbal Communication

What is Nonverbal Communication?

Communication without words Kinesics Proxemics Paralanguage

Characteristics of Nonverbal Communication

Intuitive Subliminal Continuous Symbolic/Ambiguous Culture-bound

Kinesics

Kinesics is the study of body movements in communication

Intentional gestures Unintentional gestures (“yawn”)

Proxemics

Proxemics is how the use of space communicates

Physical arrangement of setting Distance between people The “psychic bubble” “Personal space”

Paralanguage

How you say it Stress, pitch, rate, pauses,

inflections, loudness, enunciation, and tone

“Good dog”

Let’s Talk About Small Group Dynamics

The Nature of Small Group Communication Awareness Clear statement of goals “Gate-keeping” Cohesiveness Stages of development

Acquaintance Level Defining of goals and purpose Power and control Constructive stage Intimate exchange of information

Facilitation growth in the group Solicit their input directly Quick to affirm and reinforce

contributions Clarify and encourage

Recognizing and Using the Gifts and Talents of Others Feedback Be sure that there is a level of trust in

the group before giving feedback that affirms gifts and talents

Be clear and objective about your feedback

Avoid interpretation or evaluation Relate feedback to recent events, not

past

Small Group Decision-Making

Groups make more effective decisions because groups have more resources than individuals

Groups are more accurate because more variables are considered

Groups have greater commitment to the decision made

4 Steps to Small Group Decision Making

Identify the problem Analyze the problem Develop and evaluate alternative

solutions Implement the plan

Let’s Talk About Resolving Interpersonal Conflict

Types of Interpersonal Conflict

Direct confrontation Perceived scarce rewards Interdependence Conflicts arise because we need

each other

Resolving Conflict

Nip It!! The Sandwich The Mirror The Permission Question

Six Steps to Resolve a Conflict Identify the Problem and Unmet Needs

Before Confronting the Person Set Up an Appointment with the Person Describe the Problem and Unmet

Needs Face to Face Allow the Other Person to Respond Restate What Has Just Been

Communicated Negotiate a Solution

Let’s Talk About Public Speaking

Purpose and Goals

Public Communication is purposeful

Develop a Specific Goal

Audience Analysis

Plan with hearers in mind Know audience demographics Realize that your speech is

surrounded by listener expectations

Organizing the Message

Formulate a thesis statement: 1 sentence

Prepare the speech by outlining first: Intro, Body, Conclusion

Intro is extremely important Welcome Prayer

Introduction after Prayer

Rhetorical Question Startling Statement Interesting Quotation Illustration or Story Humorous Anecdote

Preview Material for Audience Formula: “Tell them what you are going to

say, say it, tell them what you said.” Remember, we are fast thinkers--mind

wanders Lots of repetition 3 Main Ideas Amplify 3 Ideas with

Additional info Resources Stats Examples: Personal

Build in Transitions, let people know where you are going next

Make conclusion clear with a transition

Ending should be good, tie it together

Delivering the Message “Extemporaneous Speaking” is not “off the

cuff” Plan the speech well, use an outline If you have to use a manuscript:

Short Paragraphs Stiff paper, type on one side only, clearly

numbered Rehearse often Take your time, vary your speed, concentrate

on ideas not words

Memorization is dangerous If you are called to do a

spontaneous talk, remember the W’s: Who, What, Why, When, Where

Be positive, the audience is on your side

Intro, Body, Conclusion

Communication Apprehension

Be Rational Be Receiver-Oriented Be Positive Be Prepared Pray Before You Speak

Let’s Talk About the Written Word and Interpersonal Relationships

Newsletter

One page Reflective and Inspirational Information Items at the end and

keep to a minimum Newsletters are for affirmation, not

criticism

Handwritten Notes

Lost art A good and thoughtful practice

that communicates volumes Can help mend strained

relationships

Memorandum

Functional Use sparingly

Email

Shouldn’t be used a substitute for face to face

It is a great tool and can save lots of time

Formal Letter

“For the record” communication Use when formality is required not

to build relationships

Extra Stuff Not in the Book

Characteristics of Low and High Context Communication Styles

Based on Beyond Culture by Edward T. Hall

Low Context Individual Oriented rely on explicit coding of information being

communicated; less aware of contexts linear logic adjust to new situation quickly conflict may occur because of violations of

individual expectations deal with conflict by revealment direct, confrontational attitude fact finding focus on action and solution open, direct strategies

High Context group-oriented rely heavily on the physical context or the shared

context of the transmitter and receiver; very little is in the coded, explicit, transmitted part of the message

spiral logic take time for contexting in new situation conflict may occur because of violations of collective

expectations deal with conflict by concealment indirect, non-confrontational attitude face saving focus on relationship ambiguous, indirect strategies