Chapter three

Effective Listening

Eng. Hadeel Qasaimeh

Communication SkillsELE205

Outline- lec.1

• Why listening is important??

• Hearing VS listening

• Types of listening

• Why bad listening occur?

Listening is important

• 85% of what we know we have learned by listening.

• We remember only 20% of what we hear

• Less than 2% of us have had any formal educational experience with listening

• Being listened to spells the difference between feeling accepted and feeling isolated

• When we fail to demonstrate our listening skills, we may

damage our personal and occupational relationships with

others.

• People are fired, customer are lost and working

relationship are strained , friendship suffer, marriage and

families fail

Listening is important

• When we do listen and are listened to, we experience a confirming connection that brings about shared understanding, which is the goal of effective communication.

• In fact, we spend 50% of our communication listening, estimate listening efficiency reach 25%, then we miss ¾ of what we hear

Listening is important

Hearing VS. Listening

The term “listening” has different meanings for different people:

- Listening involve paying attention and maintaining eye contact

- Remembering what has been said word-for- word- Reading between lines

“None of them contains all elements of the effective listening”

Hearing VS. Listening Hearing is sensory process that includes:

•Conversion of acoustical

energy

•Sound reception

•Auditory sensation

•Transfer to the brain

Listening is a mental process that includes:

•Choosing to attend

•Understanding thoughts

and feelings

•Confirming meaning

•Responding appropriately

Hearing VS. Listening

Technicians of all kinds use Hearing skills to monitor procedures. Judge the smoothness of operations or locate problems.

They hear “whirs”, “pings”, “screeches”, “pops”,…..etc, hearing these sounds can trigger the listening process to begin.

After recognition of aural stimuli, they can decide whether the sound deserve attention or not

“Hearing involves the physical recognition of sound”

Hearing VS. Listening

Listening can defined in terms of the following elements:

-attending to the speaker (mentally and physically)

-Assigning meaning of both the verbal and non- verbal messages

-Verifying accurate understanding of these messages

-Evaluating the importance of message

-And finally, responding appropriately.

Types of Listening

1. Discriminative: listening to distinguish auditory and/or visual stimuli (receptive stage)

2. Comprehensive: listening to understand a message (lecture, conference, film)

3. Therapeutic: listening to provide a troubled sender with the opportunity to talk through a problem

Types of Listening

4. Critical: listening to understand and evaluate the message (to judge)

5. Appreciative: listening to obtain sensory stimulation or enjoyment through the works and experiences of others (music)

Listening Tree

Discriminative listening

comprehensive

therapeuticcritical appreciative

Minimize Bad listening habits…..

Bad listening occurs…..

• Because we are poorly trained to listen

Bad listening occurs…..

• Mistaken belief that because we are bombarded with an overwhelming number of messages daily (external distraction)

• Because we disagree with speaker (internal distraction)

• Because we tolerate distractions

Minimize Bad listening habits…..

Bad listening occurs…..

• Because we overreact to emotional words (we cant listen if we are angry)

Minimize Bad listening habits…..

Bad listening occurs…..

• Because we waste our thought- speed advantage (i.e. we think very fast, we must give ourselves the chance to understand the message completely) :

- Daydreaming- Plan- Take mental holidays- Or worry

Minimize Bad listening habits…..

Bad listening occurs…..

To overcome:

• We must become aware of the problem.

• We must find out what cause the problem and follow steps to solve them.

Minimize Bad listening habits…..

Outline-lec.2

• Interrupt non- verbal behavior.

• Listening tools:

- Attending tools

- Remembering tools

- Evaluating tools

- Responding tools

Nonverbal behavior.

• To understand the total message we must

receive both verbal and non verbal

components.

• Verbal message can replace, strengthen

or contradict the verbal message.

Nonverbal Behaviors

In face-to-face situation, factors such as

distance, body orientation, eye contact, posture

and others can provide information.

Nonverbal Behaviors

Non-verbal communication can be classified into several categories:

1.Kinesics

2.Proxemics

3.Chronemics

4.Touch

5.Appearance

Nonverbal Behaviors

Kinesics: refers to many behaviors of the

body, for example posture, facial

expressions and eye behavior

Nonverbal Behaviors

Proxemics includes the following

elements:

1.Language of space (culture bounded)

2.distance

3.Territory

Nonverbal Behaviors

Proxemics is the study of set measurable

distances between people as they interact.

Nonverbal Behaviors

Territory: our relationship to fixed space

such as favorite chair at home, our work

place.

Nonverbal Behaviors

We need to be aware of others

“personal space”, ”territories” and

“distance” when we communicate at

work

Nonverbal Behaviors

Chronemics:

is the study of the use of time

in communication. The way we

perceive time, structure our time

and react to time is a powerful

communication tool, and helps set

the stage for the communication

process.

Nonverbal Behaviors

Chronemics (our sensation of time):

•How much time it takes to communicate the

message?

•Cultural difference and individuals sensation of

time

•Focusing on multiple things at one time

Touch: •Touch can share a rang of feeling from warm feeling to a congratulatory to a push way.

•Touch behavior must be

interpreted in light of culture,

status, gender,

and personality.

Nonverbal Behaviors

Appearance: includes the body, clothing and possessions/belonging. People assign meanings to our body types, skin color, manner of dress, hair style and accessories we display.

For example tattoos, and noise ring.

Nonverbal Behaviors

Listening tools:

Listening tools includes:

A.Attending tools

B.Remembering tools

C.Evaluating tools

D.Responding tools

Listening tools:

A) Attending tools includes:

1. attitudes.

2.Attending behaviors.

3.Emotional control.

Listening tools:

A) Attending tools:

The central attitude important to listening is

effectively is “I WANT to understand you”

and other positive attitudes:

•I want to avoid distractions

•I want to hear before I judge

Listening tools:

Actions associated with good attending behavior

includes:

1.eye contact that is appropriate in duration, frequency

and intensity

2.Body postures that reflect your interest (back off chair,

slight forward lean and body orientations)

3.Distance that is suitable for the message being shared

(personal, social , public)

Listening tools:

1.Stop talking

2.Wait until the speaker has completed his

message

3.Tune out distractions

Listening tools:

4.Develop an open mind tolerance of ideas

5.Take advantage of though speed (review

what said, relate to your experience and

predict the speaker next thought)

Outline-lec.3

• Listening tools:

- Attending tools

- Remembering tools

- Evaluating tools

- Responding tools

Listening tools:

B) Remembering tools:

we remember information more easily when:

1. meaningful, useful and of interest to us

2. Out of ordinary

3. Organized

4. visual

Listening tools:

B) Remembering tools:

Lyman suggest the following steps:

1. Repeating (paraphrasing and restating the meaning)

2. Linking (link first to the second and so on)

3. Picturing (mental image for the location being

described)

4. And grouping (phone number)

Listening tools:

C) Evaluating tools:

1.Separate facts from interference.

2. Detect logical fallacies.

3. Be sensitive to biased language.

Listening tools:

C) Evaluating tools:

1.Separate facts from interference:

Facts:

•Made after observation(at present or at past not at future)

•Stay with observation

•Limited to observation (objective not devoid of

assumption)

Listening tools:

C) Evaluating tools:

1.Separate facts from interference:

Inferences

•Made at any time (past , present or at future)

•Go beyond observation

•Unlimited in scope (include assumption, conclusion and

interruption)

Listening tools:

Example:

Sandy and pat, both data processors, are especially good

at their jobs. There combine experience totals some 30

years. They are reliable , hardworking , and very strong

individuals. In fact, sandy lifts weight for a hobby, and

pat plays basketball

Listening tools:

Example:

• this story concerns two men ? T F

•Sandy and pat are both hard workers? T F

•Sandy is handicapped? T F

•Pat and sandy are married to each other? T F

•Sandy never lifted weights? T F

Listening tools:

C) Evaluating tools:

2. Detect logical fallacies:

• Faulty causation: coincidental events seen as having

a cause effect relationship

• Either / thinking: present 2 alternative while there is

many possible alternatives

Listening tools:

C) Evaluating tools:

2. Detect logical fallacies:

• Hasty generalization: few samples used to represent our

conclusion

• Circular reasoning: restating to prove your idea without

evidence

• Comparison: you must look for differences not only

similarities

Listening tools:

C) Evaluating tools:

3. Be sensitive to biased language:

Critical listener must be aware of relative terms that

cloud the exact meaning of a message and

may create misunderstanding

Listening tools:

D) Responding tools:

1. Evaluating(judge and share a solution or offer

advice)

2. Interrupting (explains)

3. Supporting (reassure and comfort)

4. Questioning( closed questions and open questions)

5. Paraphrasing (show your understanding)

------------------------See page 55

End of chapter 3

Any question?