G DA man walks down the street, C Dhe says why am I soft in the middle now,G Dwhy am I soft in the middle,C Dthe rest of my life is so hard,G DI need a photo-opportunity,C DI want a shot at redemption,G Ddont want to end up a cartoon, C Din a cartoon graveyard, G Dbonedigger, bonedigger,C Ddogs in the moonlight,G D C Dfar away my well-lit door, G DMr. Beerbelly, Beerbelly, C Dget these mutts away from me, G D C Dyou know I don't find this stuff amusing anymore.

G DIf youll be my bodyguardC D G D C DI can be your long lost pal,G DI can call you Betty, C Dand Betty when you call me G D C Dyou can call me Al.

A man walks down the street,he says why am I short of attention,got a short little span of attention,and wo my nights are so long,wheres my wife and family,what if I die here,wholl be my role-model,now that my role-model isgone, gone,he ducked back down the alleywith some roly-poly little bat-faced girl,all along, alongthere were incidents and accidents,there were hints and allegations.

If youll be my bodyguardI can be your long lost pal,I can call you Betty,and Betty when you call me G D C Dyou can call me Al, G D C Dcall me Al.